Remus' friends were idiots.
Even though they'd already racked up multiple detentions, Sirius, James, and Peter kept calling the teachers by their given names. Sprout, Sidus, Hooch, and Flitwick eventually stopped doing anything more than giving them dirty looks, but McGonagall gave them a detention every single time that they did it. Detentions with McGonagall, Sirius often said, were only fun because her lips pursed to the point of disappearance whenever they did something out of the ordinary. Remus did not ask what "out of the ordinary" meant, but he did wonder why on earth his idiot friends enjoyed detention so much.
There was an upside to having idiot friends: Remus very much enjoyed getting some homework done while his friends were in detention. He wasn't exactly sure when Sirius and James found the time to do homework—he'd never seen them actually sit down and do it. Nevertheless, James turned in about half of his assignments and nearly always got perfect scores. Sirius turned in assignments much less frequently, but still managed to get exemplary scores on everything that he did.
The two of them also consistently got better scores than Remus on the practical tests, and apparently their essay-writing was "clearer and more concise" than Remus' was (according to Professor Questus). Remus loved grammar and read a lot, but could not seem to write essays that stayed on topic and did not have convoluted sentences. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't jealous of James and Sirius, who did not even have to try.
Peter, on the other hand, was still struggling (although he did a lot better under Remus' tutelage). Remus stood by his point that Peter was not stupid. He just learned better through one-on-one attention and could not memorize seemingly useless facts. It took him longer to achieve a spell, but once he had it, he was a lot more precise and careful than James and Sirius were. Remus reminded Peter of this fact at least once a week, and it always seemed to cheer up Peter considerably.
The photos that Sirius was taking all the time now positively lined the walls of the dormitory. Pictures of the Marauders eating, studying, giving Sirius dirty looks, sleeping, walking, et cetera, et cetera. Remus pretended to be annoyed, but he couldn't stop thinking about how much happier and healthier he looked—in all of the photos, even the ones in which he had been caught off-guard. He loved this new Remus, who joked with his friends and slept through the night most days and didn't look nervous all the time. He had so much color in his face, so much life in his eyes, and so much joy in his every feature. Life was still hard, but it was a lot more fun with two boisterous Gryffindors at his side and Peter's quiet, thoughtful friendship.
Even though his friends were idiots.
Remus went to classes. He flew broomsticks with the Marauders (well, he watched). He watched them hex people and didn't say much about it (as long as it was harmless...). He did homework and revising, and he admirably ignored all the chaos that was constantly surrounding him. He got a lot braver about answering questions in class, and he and McGonagall whispered and held up fingers all the time now to grant each other "points" in their increasingly fierce competition.
Meanwhile, he felt the looming dread of the upcoming moon, pulling at his every fiber and muscle, causing his bones to ache and his face to lose color, reminding him that he wasn't normal, no matter how much he pretended...
He ignored it, but it was still there.
And no matter how much he tried not to think of it, the moon kept waxing and waxing, and before Remus knew it, it was in three days.
He felt fatigued and pale that night as he sat in the dormitory with his friends. "Marauders," said James in his Important Announcing Voice. It hurt Remus' ears dreadfully, and he winced. "I have a proposition. But first: did you three hear the news about the Shrieking Shack?"
Remus fell off his bed.
"Okay, mate?" asked Sirius. Remus nodded. "You look pale."
"I'm not pale. It's just the lighting." Remus pulled himself back up on the bed. "That old abandoned building by Hogsmeade?" He prayed that James had not noticed the waver in his voice.
"Yes. My mum wrote to me about and told me to stay away from it. She sent me the Daily Prophet clipping. Remus, you read the Prophet! It's your responsibility to tell us about things like that! Interesting things! You know?"
"I was at my mum's," said Remus faintly, "and I forgot by the time I came back. You know that it takes a lot out of me, James."
James nodded awkwardly, trying to look sympathetic. "Right. Of course. Anyway. I don't think that those are ghosts in there."
"You think Dumbledore's a liar?" said Peter.
"Of course. He's trying to cover something up."
"And what would that be?" Sirius sounded skeptical. "Is this just another one of your mad plots to get attention?"
"A werewolf," whispered James, and Remus blanched.
It was over.
It was over.
There was no way that James couldn't know. Remus had failed... he had caused Dumbledore and the staff so much trouble and he wasn't even going to last one year... his parents would be so disappointed... he'd never get a job... "homeschooled" looked a lot better on applications than "Hogwarts dropout after less than one year"... He never should have come! His life was ruined and he was going to lose his friends and it was all his fault...
"Remus, mate, I know you're scared of werewolves, but you're shaking something awful," said Sirius. He patted Remus on the shoulder. "Calm down. It's only a large dog with big teeth that wants to kill you."
Somehow, Remus did not think that said werewolf wanted to kill him.
But this was good news. Sirius was touching him. James was not running or shouting or becoming violent. They didn't know. Remus still had a chance.
Now, all he had to do was stop shaking. That would be a dead giveaway. He had to remain calm. What would Questus say...? He would tell Remus to calm down, and that being nervous wouldn't help a thing, and that the world was a dark and dangerous place, and that Remus had been through much worse and had no right to be anxious about something so trivial... and that the Dark Arts waited for no one, of course.
"What makes you think it's a werewolf?" said Remus, and his voice was surprisingly steady.
"Dad's at Hogsmeade a lot, and he's really interested in werewolves. He noticed that it sounds like one... and it only appears on the full moon. It's only a theory, of course, but Dad's convinced. He really, really likes werewolves."
"Likes them?" asked Remus, not sure how to feel.
James spoke in a high-pitched voice. "Werewolves are just like anyone else! They deserve rights! They're not treated fairly by wizarding society!" He donned his normal voice once more. "Honestly. He gets these short-lived obsessions that only last for a few months. He'll get over it. Last time it was Pixies. Time before that it was house-elfs. Time before that it was women's rights. Time before that it was Muggles. He can't stop talking about rights and justice. Ridiculous."
Remus rather wanted to cry. "That's... really nice of him."
Sirius snorted. "Kind, maybe, but also stupid. Werewolves don't really deserve rights. Lots of those other groups that you mentioned don't, either—but least of all werewolves. Don't understand why we'd grant rights to monsters who want to kill us all."
"Yeah, they're pretty terrifying," contributed Peter.
Remus rather wanted to cry again, but for a very different reason.
"Anyway," said James impatiently, "I don't care whether werewolves have human rights or not. I just think it's cool that there might be a werewolf in Hogsmeade. We should check it out."
Remus' heartbeat quickened. "That's awfully dangerous, James," he said, but James ignored him.
"How would we get into Hogsmeade?" asked Sirius, who was clearly interested.
"Boy, have I got a story for you!" James stood up, and his eyes lit up in the way they always did before he started telling a story. "The other day, while I was walking back from detention—before I met up with Sirius—I came across Kendric Isaacs in the corridor. Ever heard of him?"
Nobody had.
"Oh, come on. He's the pranking king! The champion! The greatest! He's the best! He's played thousands of pranks, but he's never gotten caught. All the students know it's him, but the teachers can't prove it, so he gets of scot-free! And he's a Hufflepuff Prefect! Anyway, he's in seventh year, and he's looking for someone to... what was the phrase... carry on his legacy. Said that he'd heard about our antics and wanted to... pass on the torch."
"Really?" managed Peter, who looked as if his head might explode from sheer excitement.
"Really! He says he won't make it easy for us, though. He did tell me, however, that there's a passage to Hogsmeade. Says it's behind the one-eyed witch statue next to the portrait of the wizard with the platinum-blond hair. If we can figure out the password, he says, then he'll give us some advice. So I think that we should check it out tonight, under the Invisibility Cloak... then we can check out the Shrieking Shack on the next full moon. When is the next full moon, Remus? You pay attention in Astronomy."
Remus panicked for an instant, but then he was hit with a sudden burst of inspiration. "December first," he said, knowing full well that the moon was full on December second. December first would be a waxing gibbous—full enough at that point to appear to be a full moon, even if it was a clear night, but not full enough to render Remus a bloodthirsty monster. If he could pull this off, he could squash most of his friends' possible future suspicions of his condition. After all, spending what they thought to be a full moon with them was a sure-fire way to convince them that he was not a werewolf, and helping them look for a supposed werewolf in Hogsmeade just sweetened the deal. Of course, it all hung on his friends' trust of him and whether or not they would check the lunar charts themselves... but he doubted they would.
Would they?
No, of course not.
After all, Remus' friends were idiots.
"Brilliant," said James. "That's tomorrow. So we figure out the password tonight, and then perform the stakeout tomorrow."
"And how exactly are you planning on doing that?" asked Remus.
"The password or the stakeout?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "Gosh and golly, James. Both."
"Well—in terms of the password, I figure we'll just wing it. It can't be impossible if Kendric set us to do it. As for the stakeout, I think we should just sit in the Shrieking Shack and wait until..."
"No." Remus thought of the blood on the walls, the ripped furniture, and the deep scratches. If Dumbledore hadn't cleaned the Shack and fixed the furniture yet, then James, Sirius, and Peter would know that it really was a werewolf if they actually went inside. "You realize how dangerous werewolves are, right? If James' dad is correct... and I don't think he is; Dumbledore wouldn't cover up a werewolf... then we'd all be dead. Or werewolves."
Sirius snorted. "And if we become werewolves, then Remus is dying, Peter is killing James, I'm killing Peter, and Evans is killing me. So let's not do that."
Remus laughed. Yes, let's not. "And if it's ghosts, then they could be dangerous," he continued, praying that his friends would never, ever, ever try to sneak into the Shack. Ever. The end result could be extremely messy if they did so when Remus happened to be visiting his mum.
"The article did say violent..." mused James. "Fine. We'll just sit somewhere outside and listen and watch to see if anyone goes in or out."
"All night?" Peter asked.
"All night. We're the Marauders. The Marauders are creatures of the night. Who needs sleep?"
Remus, who really was a creature of the night, needed sleep very much. Especially on the night of December first.
But, he reminded himself, if he could pull this off, then he would be able to stay at Hogwarts for months. Years, even. Maybe all seven? He didn't dare hope.
It was well worth it, wasn't it?
Of course it was. And it could be fun, after all.
That night, the Marauders donned the Invisibility Cloak and made their way to the one-eyed witch. They were very lucky that they were all small for their age: Remus, whose normal growth had been stunted by months of transformations; Peter, who was short and stout—but not to the point of being extremely overweight; Sirius, who was thin and only a little taller than Remus; and James, who was lanky and only an inch or two past average height. They all fit under the Cloak if they squeezed.
Remus quite liked the school at night. He heard quiet snoozing from nearly every portrait. The air was cooler and less stuffy than it was during the day. The crowds of students going to class were gone now—the corridors were empty, and only the Marauders and their soft footsteps remained. The moon, which was nearly full (it was indeed a clear night), cast silvery beams where it spilled through the windows... Remus remembered that he was a werewolf and felt a little guilty about enjoying the night. He shouldn't be doing that. Creatures like Fenrir Greyback did that, but he did not. He very firmly told himself that nighttime was spooky and that he did not like it one bit.
Finally, they came to the one-eyed witch. James threw the Cloak unceremoniously to the floor. "Open sesame," he said.
Nothing.
"Abracadabra," he said.
Nothing.
Sirius knocked out S-O-S on the witch's hump.
Nothing.
"Pretty please?" said Peter.
Nothing.
"It's probably Latin," said Remus. "Most things around here are. Here, let me try... reclude, recludo, recludit, resigna, resigno... resignit... er... refringe, refringo, refringit... aperio... aperi... aperit... Hm."
"Keep going, mate," said James, who seemed duly impressed. "What are you saying? And how do you know Latin?"
"They all mean open," said Remus. "My mum taught me some Latin. Mostly learned it on my own; there wasn't much else to do when I was stuck at home. No friends and all that. Let's see... maybe cillo? Cille? Cillit? I'm not sure what else to try."
"Maybe you need a wand motion," said James. "Start again from the top, but tap the witch whenever you say one."
Remus did. Nothing.
"It was a good try, Remus," said Peter.
Sirius inspected the witch closely. "Looks like there's a tiny... indentation... right here." He pointed the the hump, and then ran his hand across it. "It's like a crack, but straight... I think the witch's hump opens up."
"I already tried every variation of open that I know," said Remus.
"I see what you're saying," said James. "You think that, once it opens up, we crawl into the hump..."
"And down into Hogsmeade," said Sirius. "Try, like, go down."
"Er, demea. Demeo. Demeat." Nothing. "Descende. Descendo. Descendit."
"Latin for 'descend' is just 'descend' pronounced differently?" said Peter.
"Yeah. Lots of English comes from Latin."
"If you think about it," said James, "most of the Latin used in Hogwarts it pronounced all English-y."
"Anglicized," said Remus.
"Yeah, anglicized. So maybe it's Latin, but pronounced like English..."
Remus was extremely jealous of James' deductive skills. He repeated the words, but pronounced them like the English "descend" instead of the stiff classical pronunciation that he had practiced in his youth. Nothing. "It could be paired with another word. Like... descende statua."
"Or maybe smooshed together," said Sirius. "Descendatua."
Still nothing.
"It's useless," said Remus hopelessly. "We don't even know if it's Latin. Wingardium Leviosa isn't Latin. I don't even know what it is. It could literally be anything. We have nothing to go off of."
"Only Latin I know is carpe diem," said James. He tapped the hump. "Carpe diem!"
Nothing. Obviously.
"That's seize the day, James. That doesn't make any sense whatsever."
"Descende carpe!" said Sirius. "Descende diem!"
"Let's just go back to the dorm."
"Descencarpe!"
"Give it up, mate..."
"Descendiem!"
Suddenly, Remus heard a click. "Hold on," he said to Sirius, who was now trying utter nonsense like descarpende and desdiemende. "Did you hear that?"
Peter jumped. "Hear what? Is it Filch?"
"No... the click. Try pushing on it."
No avail.
"Maybe it was because we were close," said James excitedly. "What word did Sirius say before it clicked?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "Descendiem. Anglicized gibberish, if you ask me."
The next ten and a half minutes was spent doing various wand movements and saying every variation of "descendiem" that they knew. Even Peter got in on the action. Remus was amazed that nobody found them, what with all the noise that they were making. He tried to shush James and Sirius every three seconds or so, but they truly were a force of nature... a very loud force of nature that was likely to get them caught.
"DesCENdiem."
"DEScenDIem."
"Des. Cen. Dee. M."
"DesendiEM."
"Disen. Diem."
"DisENdiem."
"DisENdium..."
The hump suddenly opened, and Sirius stumbled back. "We did it, Marauders!" he whooped. "Dissendium! That's the password!"
"That's so stupid," Remus grumbled. "That's not even a thing. How could Kendric Isaacs expect us to figure that out?... wait. James."
"It's a slide!" said James. "That's so cool!"
"James."
"Where do you think it leads to?"
"James!"
"What, Remus?"
"Kendric Isaacs is a known prankster. Maybe this is a prank."
"Oh, I trust him," said James with a dismissive wave of his hand. "He's my friend now. I trust him completely; almost as much as I trust you lot. He'd never lie to me."
Remus felt extremely guilty. Friends lied to each other. Sometimes. And it was perfectly acceptable... right? "Er, yeah."
James held up the Cloak expectantly. "Mission managed, Marauders. Let's go!"
The passage was actually a slide that led them to Honeydukes, and Remus hated it. He hadn't been on a slide... well, since he was three or four, probably, but he didn't remember... and it was scary. The Marauders landed on a heap on the floor, and it hurt Remus' already aching muscles dreadfully. And it was Honeydukes—it was all Remus could do to stop his friends from stealing everything in the shop.
"I'm sure they have security measures," he said. "We'll get in huge trouble. And... er... stealing isn't okay." He knew that the last bit wouldn't deter his friends at all, but he felt that he had to add it in order to do the job properly.
Sirius and James wanted to walk around Hogsmeade some more, but Remus was absolutely exhausted. Normally, he would have gone along with it for fear of upsetting his friends or raising suspicion. But today, he was feeling awful. "I feel ill," he told them. "Bad immune system. Worried about my mum. I have lots of nightmares and I need to sleep. Staying up late only makes them worse."
James finally showed compassion and complied, but Sirius grumbled the whole way back to the dormitory.
"Thanks, Remus," Peter whispered into his ear (which hurt Remus' sensitive hearing quite a bit, but he didn't complain). "I was feeling tired, too."
Remus smiled at him.
Although the mission had been strenuous, Remus slept well that night. There wasn't a single dream of werewolves, and even the window seemed to lose its all-seeing power of him as he slept.
But he couldn't stop thinking about dissendium. Really? A two-year-old could come up with a better password than that.
AN: I always wondered how the Marauders could have possibly figured out the password to the Honeydukes passage. Here is an extremely nerdy possibility. Please excuse my subpar Latin; I never actually studied it extensively. The power of the Internet has gotten me to where I am.