Yours and Mine
© 2006
Michaela rocked back in forth in a steady rhythm as the firelight begin to slowly dim in front of her. She had chosen to stay up till Colleen arrived back home, worried still about her dating.
Sully had told her not to worry, but Michaela feared she was developing those motherly instincts that her own mother had when she grew up. The Mother who worries about where her daughter is, when she will return home and the big worry of when she is out alone with a boy.
Michaela hardly dated as a young woman, too busy reading textbooks and doing school work. But her sisters had been different stories, they brought the men home and Marjorie in particular worried her mother more than anyone. Rebecca was the good one and the other two fell somewhere in between.
Now was no different, except that Michaela had fears of dating herself. There hadn't been anyone since David and with meeting Sully her life and her heart had been turned upside down. She could hardly put words to the attraction she felt towards Sully and at times it frightened her so much she wanted to run. But something out there kept her grounded, unable to run from the handsome mountain man.
Sully had been nothing but gentle and patient with her, showing her the world in little bits, being there for her when she needed him whatever the situation called for, and so much more.
Michaela stopped the rocking of the chair for a moment to adjust the blanket she had put over her to keep warm. Everything became very quiet in those moments, the sounds of the night becoming that much louder and the sounds of footsteps outside.
She could hear the laughter of a boy and a girl, the awkward steps they took to the door and ultimately the parting of ways. A part of her wanted to bolt open the door and pull Colleen inside before anything happened but Sully's words hung in the air. Colleen would never forgive her for disrupting things.
Michaela with some reluctance got up slowly from the rocking chair, laid the blanket down on the seat and as quietly as she could made her way to bed. She didn't want to be caught eavesdropping yet she wanted to hear everything that was going on outside the homestead door.
Colleen let Jeremy lead her up the stairs to the homestead, which was somewhat awkward. She'd never been on a date before and her heart was a bundle of thumping nerves at what might happen next.
Jeremy relished the feel of Colleen's hand in his own as they walked up the stairs. He turned the face her once they reached the door, staring into her beautiful face. The moonlight danced over her pale features which only made him want to kiss her all the more.
"Thank you for the nice evening," Colleen stammered out as her eyes drifted from Jeremy's face to the ground below.
"You're welcome," Jeremy replied softly as his hand reached to lift Colleen's chin.
Colleen felt the strong warmth of his hand as he lifted her face to meet his own. Her heart thudded in nervous anticipation as the look in his eyes showed an intent she wasn't sure of.
Jeremy didn't give Colleen much time to blink or turn away from his gaze. He saw how nervous she seemed to be and yet let his own emotions take center stage.
Colleen watched as his face came closer to hers, tried to protest… "Jeremy, I don…." But was silenced by the strength of his mouth over hers. She felt a sudden sensation as his lips gently enveloped hers with such a feather light kiss she nearly lost her balance.
Jeremy wanted so much to taste Colleen further but the timing was not right. She was a special girl and rushing into anything wasn't going to be good and he might end up on the losing side of things.
Colleen felt a rush of breath come back into her lungs the moment Jeremy pulled away, yet the thumping in her heart only got worse. She had never felt anything like this before, not even when Richard kissed her months ago.
"You're a beautiful girl, Colleen," Jeremy whispered in her face as he came up for air. "I hope I can see you again sometime soon."
Colleen blushed pink in the moonlight not sure what to make of this man before with the soft lips that carried enough strength to take her breath away. All she could do was smile and nod before disappearing into the house, leaving him standing there in the dark all alone.
Michaela heard the door open and shut in a matter of seconds, followed by heavy breathing. She dared to open her eyes to see Colleen standing there against the door trying to catch her breath. A moment later she watched her hurry off to her room.
Michaela had heard most everything that took place outside, the wooden walls weren't thick enough to keep some things out. She felt for Colleen at the suddenness of the kiss and by the looks of things the girl didn't know what to do about the feelings rushing over her.
Her own birthday had brought with it the feather light kiss from Sully. A kiss that sent sensations all through Michaela's body the likes of which she had never experienced before. It was a very special gift she had thought all this time, but yet deep down it was more than a gift. Such things were special and not to be tampered with.
Colleen buried her face in her pillow wanting so much to cry but she just couldn't. The emotions running through her were too much to handle. Dating was one thing but she wasn't prepared for the kiss, nor the other one from Richard. Sure Jeremy was handsome, the date had been nice but why had he felt the need to kiss her.
She wanted very much to go back and erase such things from happening but the past wasn't something do undo. But there was that small part of her which did enjoy that special moment and longed to see the soft look in his eyes again. He had been so gentle with her, not instant or trying to force anything on her.
Colleen did her best to relax in the hopes that sleep would overtake her troubling thoughts and that in the morning things would return to their normal state.
Jeremy's heart soared a little when he saw the small smile and nod on Colleen's face at the prospect of being able to see her again. Yet the moment he felt her slip through his fingers and straight into the homestead he almost couldn't bear it. But he let her go, for what reason he wasn't sure.
He stood outside the door for a few minutes hoping she might return to him but all he could hear was the heaviness of her breathing and some time later footsteps walking away from him. She wasn't going to let him capture her that easily he thought before turning back down the stairs to the awaiting wagon.
Colleen woke early to the sounds of her rooster loudly crowing to the morning sunshine. He seemed to be happy about something, she thought to herself. Maybe one of the hens had decided to finally let him have her, as he'd been feisty for quite some time.
Colleen rolled over on her side staring at the space in front of her as if it could give her answers. Sunlight poured through the cracks in the wood boards, leaving different designs on the floor below. Her thoughts drifted to the date she'd had and Jeremy. She couldn't fathom why she was still a flutter of emotions, was there any explanation for this?
Dr. Mike might be one to ask about all this, but with the way she thought of her going on a date might not be such a good idea. She clearly remembered Dr. Mike not wanting any part of it and Sully trying to calm her down.
"Sully," Colleen thought to herself, maybe she could ask him about all this, course that might be a little weird discussing that sorta thing with him. After all sometime ago she had more than a little crush on him. Then her thoughts drifted to Becky, her best friend. Her first kiss had nearly broken them apart but this kiss might be easier to talk to her about.
Michaela was up attempting to cook breakfast when Colleen appeared looking a little sleep eyed. "Morning," Michaela called out from over the eggs she was trying to fix. She hoped this time that they wouldn't be runny.
"Mornin," Colleen replied as she looked over to what Dr. Mike was doing. "Is that eggs in there?"
"Yes," Michaela replied. "Not exactly my forte but I'm trying to get them right."
"Here, I'll help you," Colleen offered. "Once they get hot it doesn't take long to scramble them, which looks like what you are doing."
"Oh?" Michaela replied with a teasing smile. "I knew there had be something."
Colleen giggled, "Dr. Mike."
Michaela let Colleen take over the breakfast preparations while she sat down the table. Colleen after all was a much better cook, and took after her real ma in that respect. Charlotte owned the boarding house in town and a fine cook she was. She probably didn't have the constant worry of burning food or making the scrambled eggs runny.
Colleen was glad for the diversion, the chance to throw her thoughts into something else other than a silly little kiss. Yet she knew deep down that it wasn't silly and nothing little either. She also wanted to avoid the subject of boys for the time being.
Jeremy stood outside the general store taking in the usual bustle of people coming in and out of town. Occasionally someone would enter the general store for supplies, which brought on Loren's "yakking & yelling" as he liked to call it. The old man was cantankerous.
He hadn't slept all that much during the night, thoughts of Colleen not far from his mind. Their kiss kept replaying over and over in his mind along with her beautiful smile and the blush on her cheeks. His want to see her kept growing and with all the standing he'd been doing he hoped she would be along soon.
Sully approached the general store at his usual pace with wolf not far behind him panting in the warm morning sun. He needed to get some supplies from Loren this morning, which wasn't too often. Loren still seemed to hold a small grudge over Sully after the death of Abigail. Yet he had come a bit of ways since "injuin's" weren't allowed at the store some time ago.
"Mornin' Jeremy," Sully called over to the young man leaning up against one of the porch posts.
Jeremy tipped his hat a moment later, "Morning Mr. Sully."
Sully studied the young man's face for a moment, something was on the boys mind and whatever it was he was worried. He recognized the intent deep down of a longing, a want.
"Somethin' wrong?" Sully asked in a whisper after he made his way over to Jeremy's side.
"Nah, it's nothing really," Jeremy replied truly not wanting to burden the mountain man with his troubles. He looked up at Sully for a moment and saw in his eyes that he didn't believe him. "How is it that a man can share a special moment with a woman and then all of a sudden she disappears?"
Sully was a bit surprised by Jeremy's sudden remark and took a moment to ponder over the young man's words. He had a feeling it might have to do with Colleen and for a moment anger brewed in him that this boy had hurt her in some way.
"It's probably nothing," Jeremy started to say after the long lull of silence that followed and made to walk away.
"What happened," said Sully stopping Jeremy in his tracks to leave the store front.
Jeremy stared down at the wooden floor boards a moment before he looked up into Sully's eyes, "I kissed her, a feather light kiss that was so sweet. She smiled, blushed and a moment later she's inside the house the door shut fast behind her."
Sully smiled in his own puzzling way looking Jeremy right in the eye, "Personally I think you'll be just fine. Give her some time, can't rush a lady." And with that Sully turned to disappear into the store leaving Jeremy to ponder over the meaning of those words.
"Colleen, something's wrong, tell me please?" Michaela asked once they were in the safety of the clinic walls. She had been acting funny all morning and the ride into town. Acting as if there was some subject to be avoided at all costs, yet she wasn't making the best job of it.
"I don't want to talk about it," Colleen replied flatly as she continued to wrap bandages.
"I think we should," Michaela answered as she came closer to the examining table where Colleen was working. "Something is clearly bothering you and I would like to know what it is."
"You wouldn't understand," said Colleen as she left the bandage to sit there on the table.
"Try me."
Colleen looked up at Dr. Mike for a moment before speaking. She saw behind those eyes, the caring and compassionate doctor she had grown to love and someone who was understanding also in the ways of a woman. Colleen needed that older woman figure in her life right now.
"Oh, it's Jeremy," Colleen sighed as she gave into Dr. Mike's warm embrace.
"Dear me, don't tell me he hurt you. I couldn't bear…"
"It's nothing like that. He's just…. I just…. It was perfect and I ran."
"What was perfect? And why did you run?"
"Never felt nuttin' like that before. It was frightening."
"Nothing like what?" Michaela asked now truly curious as to what Colleen was rambling on about.
"Oh, his kiss, it was perfect and then I had to go run inside." Colleen answered feeling as if she was going to break any moment into sobs over the emotions still running through her like a fast train.
Michaela stood frozen for a moment as one of her worst fears was now realized. Jeremy had kissed Colleen and now the poor thing was a mess inside.
"Richard never stirred things inside me like Jeremy did. I don't know what to do with myself."
"Are you telling me Jeremy's kiss was so perfect that you don't know what to do with yourself?" Michaela couldn't believe what she'd just said when the last word left her lips. It sounded like advice she might have given herself some time ago when Sully had first kissed her and all the feelings running around inside her then, feelings that still frightened her.
"Yes," Colleen answered meekly. "How can I face him again?" This time her look was all pleading, with a part of her wanting the go ahead to run.
"You're going to need to face Jeremy, Colleen. Running from your problems isn't going to solve then. You have to face them."
Michaela's own words rang in her ears long after she had spoken them to Colleen. She had been very reluctant to let Colleen date, along with being terrified of the whole idea herself. Now here she was giving Colleen the same advice she needed to be giving herself. Her fear of dating was only going to get worse the more she "ran."
Michaela worked through the morning finishing up the bandages that Colleen had left askew on the table. Right after their talk she had gone off to find Jeremy to let him know how she felt. She hoped that all went will with the promise of young love.
Her thoughts however were not far from Sully. Their evening under the stars had been so sweet and romantic, she couldn't ask for anything more. Each time she saw him the world seemed to come to a standstill.
Michaela felt herself beginning to develop strong feelings for Sully that frightened her. She knew what she was feeling was like nothing any man had made her feel before. Not even David stirred such passion in her.
Sully made her feel comfortable, let her be herself without any judgments and most of all she wanted him. But deep down that fear of dating him to cross over the line they were walking frightened her right the core of her emotions.
Michaela had no experience to know what do to next, nor could she find anyone around who might remotely understand where she was coming from. Her mother wasn't the type of person she could just turn to; they'd had their share of differences and early on made it quite clear she wanted Michaela to return home to start a family in Boston. She however wanted to start a family here in Colorado Springs.
Sully wandered back into town as the mid afternoon sun was shinning down, the lunch rush was keeping Grace busy and all seemed somewhat peaceful. He noticed Jeremy and Colleen talking over in the meadow. "Good, I'm glad they are talking," Sully thought, "They need this to move on."
Sully made his way over to the clinic door where he paused a moment before going inside. He suspected Michaela was busy working or had her nose stuck in a large medical book of some sort. There were no voices through the door that he could pick up. Taking a breath, Sully opened up the door and stepped inside.
Michaela looked up in a flush, "Sully," she exclaimed as the pencil in her hand slipped through her fingers making a small thump on the book below.
"Hope, I'm not disturbin' ya," Sully replied with a smile as he made his way over to her desk. "Thought you might be needin' some lunch."
"No, not at all," said Michaela as she tried to find her "lost" pencil. "Lunch, well I was…." She trailed off as Sully grabbed her hand to lead her to the door.
"Picnic from Graces?" said Sully finishing her sentence for her, "Robert E lent me a wagon that's by the café. Shall we?"
Michaela took a moment to come to her senses wondering if she was dreaming or not. Had Sully just asked her to come on a picnic that Grace prepared? Her heart swelled with emotion as she let Sully whisk her off.
"Dr. Mike?" Sully called softly as he closed the door quietly behind him. He looked around the room a moment before his eyes settled on her desk.
Michaela was slumped over on a book fast a sleep, while papers lay strewn on either side and unwrapped bandages lay on the examining table.
Sully wondered just how much she had gotten done this morning or if she had slept it all away.
"Dr. Mike," Sully called again, this time in a whisper as he was dangerously close to her. The scent of her perfume and the softness of her hair were very tempting to touch as he wanted so very much to lose himself in them both. But he couldn't bring himself to do either.
Michaela stirred a little in her sleep, letting out a soft moan. Her eyes fluttered open for a moment and as she woke discovered her body protesting using the desk as a pillow.
Sully stood silently, watching Michaela's every move as she began to wake up and we her eyes found his she nearly jumped.
"Sully," she exclaimed. "How long have you been here?"
"Not long," he answered. "Came over to get ya, the kids are over at Grace's asking for ya."
"Is it lunchtime already?
"Yep."
"Must have slept long than I thought."
Sully smiled down at her, "Guess you did."
Michaela looked up at Sully, smiling back at him as she took in the handsomeness of his face. His tanned skin and wavy long hair suited him, making him all the more desirable. Her face blushed a little as she tried to look away to hide it, but she suspected Sully saw it.
Michaela stood up a moment later, smoothing her skirts before she followed Sully out of the clinic and into the afternoon sun.
Everyone seemed to be about their usual business but once she rounded the corner with Sully and her eyes landed on Grace's café, something seemed different.
There off in the distance was a small table with a vase of flowers on it and what looked to be a small spread. The table cloth wasn't the usual checkered pattern either, something a bit more fancy which from a distance looked like lace.
Michaela turned to Sully for an explanation meeting a handsome smile instead. "I thought you said the kids were asking about me?"
"They sure were wanted to make sure you ate lunch today."
"That so, Mr. Sully?"
"Yes and I hope you enjoy every bit of it." Sully replied as he took her hand and led her over to the small table Grace had helped him prepare.
"Aww, Sully it's lovely. Thank you."
"You're most welcome." Sully replied as he placed a gentle kiss on her hand before going to pull out her chair so she could be seated.
Sully was so nervous that he nearly dropped the chair as she turned to Michaela offering her a seat. Thankfully he didn't think she noticed, or so he thought.
Michaela sat down in the awaiting chair, "Everything looks so good," she remarked.
Sully was no waiter but he tried his best to serve Michaela without dropping or spilling anything.
Grace had fixed a very nice lunch, for that is as Sully soon discovered. He'd been to nervous and worried about Michaela eating that he'd forgotten about himself.
Sully had been a bit out of touch with the real world for a while yet the gentleman in him somewhere made sure Michaela had food before he did, only then would he eat.
Michaela found new emotions inside of her growing as she watched Sully's sudden transformation. She hadn't been all alone with him in so long which made her nervous and then watching him act the part of a waiter was quite a site. His antics brought a smile to her face and dared to bring laughter from her lips.
Sully tried his best also not to fidget but being so close to her and alone with her rattled feelings inside of him he'd long forgotten about. He was really beginning to fall in love with Michaela and it terrified him.
Colleen smiled up at Jeremy meeting his tender gaze. "Thank you for understanding."
"You're welcome," Jeremy replied as he brushed a stray hair from her face. Moments ago she had been so nervous with sweaty palms and now she was much more relaxed and calm. He had no idea how much his kiss had affected her, but more so pleased that he hadn't lost her. She was too special a girl to lose.
"I'd love to take you out again, maybe to Denver?" Jeremy asked as he this time brushed a finger across her cheek.
Colleen's breath caught in her throat at his touch, so soft and tender. "Sounds lovely," she breathed in reply wanting so much to melt right then and there as a moment later Jeremy's lips nestled over her own.
Colleen's heart soared on the trip home as she found herself smiling at everything she passed for no apparent reason. Dr. Mike she realized had been right about facing your fears. She was glad for the motherly advice as facing this had opened a new window with Jeremy. She almost couldn't wait to tell Dr. Mike what had happened, but first she wanted to find Becky.
Michaela sat rocking before the fire waiting for Colleen to return him. She wasn't terribly worried for some reason. Part of could have been seeing her with Jeremy earlier in the day and how tender and gentle he was with Colleen.
Her lunch with Sully had also lightened her heart. He seemed to be just as nervous as she was about their budding relationship. She saw how hard he tried not to mess a thing up.
Michaela also realized that slowly easing into more with him seemed so right, than to just jump on the stage coach and fly away with him. He was becoming a very special part in her life and it frightened her to think that she could be falling in love with Sully.
Michaela smiled down at the knitting in her lap before picking it up again and stitching a little as the evening wore on.
Colleen made it back home much too late and feared a nasty lecture from Dr. Mike. She knew deep down how much she worried about herself, Brian and Matthew when they didn't come home right away from being out or missed dinner without her knowing.
Colleen opened the door to the homestead as quietly as she could and let herself inside. She breathed a small sigh of relief to see Dr. Mike sleeping peacefully before the fire as she tip toed off to bed.
Michaela awoke the next morning finding herself in the rocking chair with a blanket over her and her knitting on the floor. She wasn't quite sure how it got there nor was she sure where the cover had come from.
Michaela made to sit up when out of nowhere a small envelope fell to the floor. Right in the middle of the perfect folds it read "Dr. Mike." Her hand reached out to pick up the envelope, opened it and read the short note inside.
Dr. Mike,
Thank you so much for the advice you gave me. I'm much happier now that I've faced the fear that bothered me so much.
Love you,
Colleen
Michaela smiled to herself glad to have been a help to Colleen in her time of need. It wasn't easy growing up to be a woman, encountering various obstacles along the way. She was glad to see Colleen was feeling much better and was touched to see "love you" written at the end.
Michaela folded the note and put it back into the envelope before she got up to find a piece of paper and a pencil. Her note would be to Sully thanking him for his efforts yesterday which she didn't want to go unnoticed. She had helped Colleen overcome her fear and now it was time she did the same for herself.
Dearest Sully,
I am touched by the kindness you bestowed on my yesterday afternoon. The lunch you had Grace prepare was delicious and more so I enjoyed your company.
You are quite the attentive waiter, although I think the mountain man suits you much better. I look forward to more days like this where we can spend time with each other.
Over the past few days Colleen made me realize in her own way to face those fears of mine. Seeing her with Jeremy has eased me a bit, he seems to be treating her like a lady and I'm pleased to see that.
Also my feelings for you are surfacing stronger than anything I've ever felt before. It frightens me sometimes, even though I know feelings like this are natural amongst men and women. Yet I feel such a connection with you Sully and I don't want anything to damage that as we grow closer.
Fondly yours,
Michaela
Michaela carefully folded her letter and slipped it between her undergarments. She wasn't ready yet to tell Sully how she truly felt, scared that she might damage something already so beautiful. Her letter however would stay tucked away for now as proof that she truly seemed to have conquered her fear.