The secret marriage of the Potters
Chapter 6? woooooh!
By SuperGirl
A/N: here the author note section I know everyone loves this part, personally I don't read them myself COUGH, but I just wanted to say thanks to you guess it means much I am not the only twisted one here on this planet. My seven year old brother things Harry Potter is god, he will never read this. Also thanks for the review you guys It keeps me going I know I was gone from this story for almost a month with school ended and a bunch of crap etc. Also I do not have spell checker on this I write in a word pad then pray to the IBM god to turn it into a HTML document for me. So this grammar is all mine sorry I don't have works or word or any grammar electronic checker it's all me.
Chapter 6...
"I-"
"I-"
"Oh Shit."
There was a long disgusting pause there; unfortunately what was happening was to complex for Ronald to digest at the current moment. He must have died and been sent to his personal own hell and Walla here he was in front of the two people he trusted most half dressed and without glasses. Ron's mind went numb what was he to say, they weren't moving; yes this was his place in hell. Ginny had done it she finally killed him off. Harry's hands were in Hermione's bra and hers were in his trousers. Life is ironic sometimes like that, well just for Ron.
"Ron- I-"
"We ah."
What could they say, 'Oh Hermione had an allergic reaction and I tried to help her out and then she fell over grabbing my belt and pulled down my boxers down a tad bit. Then I jumped on top of her...' No that wouldn't work would it. Or how about the truth, yes the truth, 'Well Ron we been snogging for a year and a half and well we got married and I'm going to be Hermione's babies daddy Yeah for Harry!.' Wrong again there. 'Ron remember that bet we had 3rd year well I won! yeah you owe me 60 gold pieces I lost my virginity first and well Hermione gets half, since she was there also...so pay up.' No, no, no, it would have to be something so cleaver to pull the whole over. 'Ron this is not really Harry Potter, but (pulls back a mask Scooby Doo moment) Professor Snape' Bloody hell that just kill the poor boy off and piss off multiply readers. It would be funny, but not enough planning done. In moments like these if you involved there is nothing but pure fear or shock casting over you. For Ron it was confusion.
"Ron listen." said Hermione trying to move from Harry. Ron turned pale and slow fell to his knees then slowly on to his chest.
"OH MY GOD!YOU KILLED RON HARRY!" yelled Hermione under Harry hitting his chest.
"I what NONONONONO I didn't, your a conspirator! You're the one in the laced bra!"
"Get off of me Harry, we'll play latter." she screamed!
"But- Look he is like asleep he wouldn't know if we did anything like last summer. Or on the train to Hogwarts!"
"Harry off now." she yelled looking up at his kaleidoscope green blue eyes.
"Please, I have been good all day! DON'T LEAVE ME IN THIS STATE!"
"HAROLD JAMES POTTER GET OFF OF ME AND GET YOUR HAND OUT OF MY BRA!"
"Yes mama!" he said pulling himself up with her. The two sat there quiet looking at there passed out friends body on the floor of the compartment.
"We should tie him up!" said Harry looking at Hermione.
"No were not tying up Ron."
"He will freak out and everyone will know!"
"Harry calm down we have go to think." said Hermione grabbing Harry's shoulders.
"I love you Hermione." said Harry looking at her. She smiled looking up at him with his sad puppy face.
"I know you do, but DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!"
"What the bloody hell Potters? Did you kill the boy?" Draco said smirking he looked up to see them ruffled up so.
"Oh yeah this could be a tad of a problem eh?" said Draco biting a cookie in his hand.
"What do we do?" said Hermione.
"We could shove him in a closet and leave him on the train until next year I am sure a first year will find him next year sometime." said Draco bending down. He eyed Ron some then flipped him over.
"Christ you made him wet himself!" he said glaring at the two. "Where you in full action or something, he looks like a basilisk petrified him."
"We should dump him off the train." said Harry.
"Stop it." said Hermione smacking his chest lightly.
"Well I tell you I am not sharing any money with this pissing Wanker. I tell you that much." said Draco taking his seat across from them.
"We can't keep lying to him though Harry." said Hermione.
"Bloody hell you sure can." said Draco.
"How do we get out of this mess?" asked Harry looking at the blonde.
"Kill him." he said without blinking.
"We are not killing Ron." said Hermione.
"Well I don't want to kill him, maybe we could hire a death eater to do it for you." suggested Draco.
"Stop it!" yelled Hermione. "When he wakes up let's act like nothing happened okay. And tell him he looks rather ill and he shouldn't have come looking so ill."
"Then I will take his wallet." said Draco looking through a brown leather wallet.
"Give it back!" said Hermione.
"Look Potter there is a picture of your wife in a Bikini in here. Oh she is bending over." said Draco handing Harry the wallet.
"We'll kill him." said Harry.
"Harold James Potter!"
"Alright we'll act like he is a nut job like Ginny is, when he wakes up until then would you like to escort me to a broom closet my dear?" he asked suavely.
"I am not in the mood." she said crossing her arms.
An hour latter...
"He is still not moving." said Hermione biting her lip nervously.
"Is he breathing?" asked Harry.
"Let's through him off he'll wake up on impact." said Draco casually.
"No, maybe there is something else wrong, you go touch him Harry." said Hermione.
"Me, why the bloody hell do I get to touch the wanker?" he asked.
"He wet himself is why." said Hermione pushing Harry off of the seat.
Harry stood up and waddled over to Ron.
"He looks green." he said hovering over him.
"Green?" asked Hermione looking over to the two.
"Yeah yellow green really." said Harry slightly looking at Draco.
"Oh he is petrified, remember when you were 2nd year, that was funny." said Draco.
"Was it that horrible?" asked Hermione turning red.
"Well, you have to remember here is his two best friends going at it on a train, Hermione is under Harry whom have denied any accusations for years about a relationship even swore they were dating imaginary muggles. I think it would petrify someone a bit, after all the boy had a stressful day with Ginny." said Draco chuckling.
"What are we going to do with him, he is frozen like this?" asked Harry.
"Leave him." said Draco.
"Stop, were not throwing Ron off the train, were not leaving him either. We have to take him with us!" said Hermione crossing her arms.
"You realize people would notice he looks dead." said Harry.
"We'll put a hat on him and sunglasses, no one will ever know." said Hermione.
After the Train stopped in a Muggle town
"I can not believe you tied him to me and Harry with invisible floss." said Draco.
"I do." said Harry raising his arm to scratch his head, Ron's arm rose and Harry freaked out. "He is like a puppet stuck to us."
"Remember that movie Weekend at Burnies? Harry?" he nodded. "It's like that!" said Hermione.
"No it is not like that at all Hermione." said Harry lowering his glare.
"Come on you two, let's fallow Draco's map to that church to get that horcrux thing." said Hermione skipping ahead.
"Wait up!" yelled Draco and Harry in unison.
"I hate this." said Draco.
"Me too." said Harry walking oddly with a drunk like Ron between the two. "I feel retarded." he muttered.
"At least Ron isn't missing the adventure this time." piped in Hermione.
The three er... four made it to the church an hour latter. St.Peter's Cathedral. They walked in and were greeted by a priest. "May I help you four?" the man asked.
"Ah yes, were on tour of your fine city of Dublin, and well we hear of this church and wanted to see it our selves." said Hermione nice as can be.
"What is that smell?" asked the priest.
"That is our mute friend Ron." said Harry.
"He has a condition." said Draco lowering his eyes some, the priest nodded a oddly.
"Well feel free to look around." the man said leaving the four alone.
"Let's sit Ron down." said Draco to Harry who nodded. The untied there limbs with the invisible floss and sat him down.
"He looks drunk, let's take photos." said Draco.
"For what?" asked Hermione.
"To black mail him latter, hold him up while I get out some butter beer." said Draco reaching in his back pack.
"Malfoy, stop it!" said Hermione trying to keep her voice down.
"Wait I don't want to be in the photo!" said Harry upset looking at Draco.
"Okay on three run out of the way of the shot, then I'll have one of him swaying then passing out in church drunk looking."
"Okay." said Harry.
"Harry!" yelled Hermione.
"One, two, three." said Draco taking the photo.
"Hey, where did you get a camera at?" asked Harry.
"Dean, I stole it." said Draco looking at the two Potters. "What?" he asked looking at them oddly.
"Okay where is this Horcrux at in here?" asked Hermione crossing her arms.
"In a box on the alter in front of the cross." said Draco.
"Creepy." said Harry jogging to the front of the church there Hermione caught up with him. The two were looking at an old red and gold box with Celtic looking designs drawn in gold around the red on the box.
"This is it?" asked Harry at Draco.
"Yup, but 'He who must not be named' will pop out of the box like a boxed clown toy." said Draco walking up to them.
"Let's open it in the woods." suggested Hermione.
"Okay." said Harry who fallowed her outside and Draco fallowing them.
"I wonder how old he was when he made this horcrux." said Draco thinking.
"You don't know?" asked Hermione.
"Nope." he said without blinking.
"Eh, well let's do this then." said Harry looking around the field. There was no one around he could see though houses in the back ground.
"When I open it up, we yell the killing curse okay?" said Harry.
When the box opened up black smoke came out and Tom Riddle emerged smirking. On the count of three, the wizards yelled the killing curse killing him.
After he disappeared in a puff of smoke remained a damaged broken box.
"That was quick." said Draco kicking the box.
"Yeah it was." said Harry.
"A few more to go." said Hermione smiling, "Then you have to battle the real 'he who must not be named.'"
"Looking forward to it." said Harry.
The three traveled back to the church and noticed a crowed gathered.
"It's a shame." said an elderly woman looking at the church.
"What happened?" asked Hermione.
"They found a dead drunk inside there taking him to the city morgue." she replied.
Harry, Hermione and Draco froze.
"Shit!" the three said in unison.
"Harry how are we going to get Ron out of a Morgue and explain that?" she whispered eyes widen.
"We should of taken him with us." replied Harry. However Draco was cracking laughing.
"This keeps getting better huh, imagine when he wakes up in a Muggle morgue." Draco started to cry from laughing. Hermione frown and noticed the priest coming up to them.
"I am sorry about your friend, he smelled of alcohol and I had to get help, the ambulance driver said he was stone cold." the priest said softly.
"Er, thanks." said Harry sweating some looking worried.
"Oh, well, they have him now, may the lord be with him." The priest said walking off to a member of the church to talk to.
"AMEN!" sang Draco chuckling. The priest walked off leaving the three wizards.
"Now how the fuck are we going to break Ron out of a Morgue?" asked Hermione.
"He will be pissed off when he wakes up before we get to him." said Harry who started to laugh.
"Stop it!" yelled Hermione.
"I can't it's to funny." cried Harry laughing hard.
"I say we leave him they won't embalm him for a few days." said Draco.
"Stop it, you both are going to get Ron from the Morgue tonight or else!" she said softly.
"Or what?" asked Draco.
"No sex for a month Harry!"
"Don't do that to me!" cried Harry. "You said if I was good-"
"Leaving you friend at a morgue is a month of no sex, what would it of been to toss him from the train? Two weeks?" asked Draco laughing
"We need to get Ron from the morgue Harry!"
"How?" the both asked her.
"We'll break into the morgue and steal back his body." Hermione said angrily.
"Shit!"
AN: I know I have a habit leaving the story in these tight places like this, but thanks for reading and enjoying the twisted story here, poor Ron just wait until he wakes up in the morgue, Harry and Hermione have some explaining to do... Please review SuperGirl