Oh, you guys! You are too good to me. I loved your reviews! And I'm so terribly sorry that you had to wait so long for the second chapter. I'm busy with college life. And it's really just that I wanted to perfect it. You liked the first chapter so much I hope this one measures up. Just remember I'm no doctor and have no knowledge whatsoever of ailments and cures; I'm just making this up. Again, thank you so much for your kind reviews.
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The Good Doctor
2: Repair
Sayid helped him stand, and he walked slowly with the Iraqi and Kate supporting him. They laid him down on his cot, gave him water, blankets and fruit. Sayid looked at Jack with concern.
"Sayid." He rasped, wincing.
"Yes, Jack?" Sayid knelt beside the cot.
"Did you…did you bury him?"
"Not yet."
Jack swallowed hard and waited for another wave of pain to pass before he clutched Sayid's tank.
"I tried to, Sayid. I tried." He gasped, and Sayid laid him back down.
"I know, Jack. We know you did." Sayid reassured. "Kate is getting you something to eat. She'll stay with you."
Down in the hatch, Kate was pulling Dharma food off the shelves frantically. Tears made it hard to read the labels, and her limbs felt weak. Pictures flashed in her head. Jack, pale and trembling, and the desolate look in his eyes. Apologizing, like he'd given up.
She suddenly had a vision of Jack, cold and lifeless, being lowered into a sandy grave. Kate dropped to her knees with a gasp as nausea surged over her, leaning her forehead against the cold cement wall, her silent tears rolling off the tip of her nose onto the floor as she tried to calm her wild breathing.
The thought of losing Jack had sent an unexpected shock of fear and desperation through her. After a moment, five seconds to be exact, she wiped her face and pushed herself up angrily and continued shoving food into her backpack. Now was no time to be weak. Not when Jack needed help.
Jack didn't have the strength to open his eyes to see the Iraqi exit. But he felt Kate return, she bustled about hurriedly before planting herself beside him. Maybe it was the pain making him hallucinate, but her eyes looked red and watery.
"Come on, Jack. Eat something, it may make you feel better."
Jack sat up, and saw Kate had brought a myriad of supplies from the hatch for him. Bottles of medicine, Pepto Bismol, bread, carrots, mints and anything else she could think of that her mom had given her when she was sick.
He sort of smiled, and took the bread Kate handed to him. Halfheartedly he took a bite, chewed for a long time and swallowed hard. He handed her the rest.
"Not helping."
She scoffed. "Give it a minute."
He slid along the wall to lay back down, curled up as he felt the pain grow in his stomach again. Jack bit his lip to keep from crying out, and Kate hovered over him for a moment before tentatively laying her head on his shoulder helplessly, whispering to him through her tears and running her hands through his hair. She didn't know what she'd do if something happened to him. Kate started to realize just how much they all had taken him for granted.
"I don't like this switch. That's why I became a doctor, to help the sick, not become one. Just kill me, now." He groaned, enjoying a brief reprieve from the pain.
"Shut up, Jack." Kate chuckled, sniffling. "What do you think it is?"
"I'm not positive, but judging from the bloody vomit, I'm guessing an ulcer. Which makes a strange sort of ironic sense."
"Yeah it does make sense, what with you having to personally watch over everything and trying to single handedly maintain order."
"I feel an 'I told you so' coming on."
"No. Here, will this help?" She handed him some medicine. He concentrated on the label, then handed it back to her.
"No, look for something with –cillin, or Pepto Bismol may help."
She handed him the pink bottle and he took a few long pulls before handing it back to her.
"Jesus Christ." He murmured. The pain wasn't as intense anymore, but it was ever present. Kate touched his face, and he opened his eyes. But he squeezed them shut tight; he didn't want to see that pity in her eyes. He didn't want to be weak and helpless in front of her. He felt her lips brush his arm, then heard her scoot across the cave to lay down on some blankets.
So she wasn't lying when she said she'd watch over him if he was dying. Jack mused through his hazy mind. And he did believe that he was dying. It sure felt like it.
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"How do you feel?" Kate asked immediately upon seeing him open his eyes in the morning. Jack felt disoriented. He had no idea he'd even fallen asleep, he hadn't felt tired, just fear and pain.
"Jack?" Kate prompted, and Jack thought about her question for a moment.
"Fine. For the moment."
"Here, drink this. Sun made it for you. It's some sort of tea. And have some bread, here's the Pepto Bismol." Kate set all the things in front of him, her smile wavering. Jack's gaze raked over her face for a moment before doing as he was told.
"How's the water at the beach? Do you need more?"
"Stop it. Stop that right now." Kate chided, taking a slice of bread out of the packaging and shoving it at him. "You need to trust that we can take care of ourselves with you out of commission for a while. You need to trust me." She emphasized, and Jack scowled, biting off a hunk of the wheat bread.
"I suppose." He said sarcastically; they both knew he trusted her completely.
He alternately sipped Sun's tea and the Pepto Bismol, fingering through the bottles of pills Kate had sprawled on the cave floor. Jack felt the oncoming wave of nausea, and he lay back down to try heading it off, but the dizziness stayed. His body trembled, cold sweat, his face paled. Kate looked up and noticed immediately. She scooted closer to him, her hand on his forehead, which slid down to caress his face gently.
Irrational thoughts buzzed through his mind. Horrible thoughts that made him want to die even more.
The only reason she's here with you now is that Sawyer's gone.
Jack shook his head, his limbs were heavy.
She has no one else, now. You're the replacement for the lover you killed.
Tears seeped from the corners of his tightly shut eyes, and Kate brushed them away before they ran into his hair.
The pain passed, as he knew it would. But every time it came anew, Jack felt as if it were the worst one. The last one, the one that would kill him.
In his moments of lucidity, between waves of nausea and pain, Jack thought about Sawyer. With a little difficulty, he identified the callous Southerner's redeeming qualities, and said a prayer for him. As an afterthought, he said a prayer for himself. Asked God to forgive him, and help him to forgive himself.
When his mind went back to what he could've done differently, what he should've done better, which it often did, Jack would stop and shake the thoughts out. It would do no good now.
Kate left briefly to get food, go to the bathroom and bathe. Other than that, she spent the day sitting in the cave. They spoke some in the morning, but she could see Jack was deep in thought, and remained quiet. Her presence was comforting. Simply knowing she was there gave Jack an indescribable feeling. Something to do with pride, loyalty, and trust.
Kate had, of course, given Sayid and all others concerned, which was pretty much everyone, a report on Jack's health. She lied a little, said he was recovering, so as not to worry them.
Sayid paid him a visit in his cave, as did Sun. The Korean woman had brewed him another cup of tea, but Jack was moaning in pain when she came with salutations, so Kate just took the warm porcelain cup and exchanged concerned glances with her friend.
Night soon fell.
"Seems like it hasn't rained in a while." Kate mused as she looked out at the stiff, dry campground.
"It rained last week. It just hasn't been as humid." Jack offered as explanation, and Kate nodded. He was sitting with his back against the wall. Sweat from the agony of his illness beaded his brow. Kate glanced over at him as he stared outside.
How awful it must be for him. To spend his days in pain. Kate had timed it. Every 10 to 15 minutes he would double over or lay down, grasping his stomach. Sometimes he would just close his eyes and wince, sometimes he would grimace and moan. It was the latter which drew Kate to his side and had her rubbing warm circles over his strong back.
"Thanks, Kate." He said suddenly, catching her looking at him.
Kate opened her mouth to tell him thanks were not needed. This is what you do for the man you love. But she just nodded and smiled understandingly.
It had been 22 minutes since his last episode, and Kate was beginning to think maybe he was getting better. He, of course, hadn't noticed. He was doing his best to enjoy the time in between. He did so by chatting with Kate.
"My rabbit, Steven, was my best friend for a while. He was white with black spots and my mom got him for free from the farm down the road. The week after I left home, he mysteriously disappeared. I suspect mom let him go."
Jack laughed, "My mom once replaced my pet goldfish that died while I was at school. I had no idea, until she told me about it years later. I was still devastated."
Kate grinned, leaned her head back against the cool rock wall. She opened her mouth to make a remark, but Jack's sharp intake of breath cut her off.
It had come so suddenly, Jack hadn't even felt it approach. All he could do was curl on his side, clutching his stomach as hard as he could. He made sounds of pain, and Kate was immediately there. He was curled up facing her, so she crawled around behind him on his cot and held him. Her tears seeped into his T shirt when she lay her head on his arm.
His moans slowly ebbed away and his breathing returned to normal. Still Kate did not move. Her arm slung over his shoulder, her fingers clutched the fabric on his chest. Her forehead rested between his shoulder blades.
Jack rolled over on his back, and Kate rolled over on her back, too. Arms touched, goose bumps rose. They stared at the ceiling quietly.
"I hate feeling helpless."
"I think everyone does."
"It's kind of embarrassing."
She turned her face toward him, so he turned, too.
"You don't have to be embarrassed around me. You make me feel exposed. Now I get to see you vulnerable."
"I'm sorry, I never meant to--" He began to apologize for hounding her about her past.
"No, it's okay. I'm glad you know."
"And I'm glad you're here."
She grinned. "Me too. It's a different perspective to see you humbled."
Jack scowled, and she laughed, reaching over to slap him playfully. She rose and stepped over him. Jack fought the urge to stay her.
For the next hour, the pain had disappeared. It came back in small doses, and he swigged Pepto like water. He slept throughout the night, and in consciousness, his mind was eased by Kate's presence. Jack was delighted by the attention he was receiving from her. She certainly made his bouts of pain more bearable, simply by touching him, simply by knowing she was there. That's the best kind of treatment any patient could get.
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Jack laughed at her disapproving look when he told her he was going to take a walk. "Come on, Doc, I feel a lot better."
It had been three days, and Kate scowled, but nodded consent.
He was greeted with smiles and well wishes, and even if someone did have a problem, they chose not to burden him with it, even when he asked. He realized that when he was sick, he was so busy concentrating on ebbing away the pain that he hadn't even thought about the campers. A little guilt nipped at him, but he brushed it away. A new understanding was coming over him. He'd been out of commission for days and camp hadn't imploded, he hadn't been involved in camp decisions for three whole days, and things were still running smoothly. Maybe he wasn't so vital to their survival as he had thought; as they all had thought.
Jack walked slowly with Sayid, talking every now and then. They ended up at Sawyer's grave. Jack sent Sayid a silent look of gratitude, and the Iraqi took his leave. Jack stared at the rocks piled over the freshly turned sand. Remembered the look in Sawyer's eyes when he saw his life slip away. There was no anger, no resentment. They'd had their differences, but they were both just men. Humans who make mistakes. Jack nodded softly, sent up another prayer, and left.
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Jack was doubled over on his cot when Kate came back to check on him that night before returning to the beach. Staying too long at the caves unnerved her, though she hadn't realized it until today. Something about being in the middle of everything.
She rushed to kneel in front of Jack, afraid the pain had returned. She touched his head, which was hung, and he didn't move. She whispered his name fearfully, still he did not respond. So Kate just wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing her forehead into the curve of his neck.
Kate started and nearly pulled back when Jack's arms wrapped around her and pulled her between his knees so he could hold her body closer to his.
"Are you okay?" She asked, still tentatively returning his embrace. He half laughed and pulled back.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Kate eyed him suspiciously. "Are you lying to me?"
"No!" He exclaimed, amused that she was questioning him.
"Why didn't you say anything? I thought you were in pain!"
Jack smiled sheepishly and averted his eyes. "I just wanted..."
Kate paused. He didn't need to say it. So, she just sat next to him on his cot. Both were silent, sharply aware of the miniscule distance between their bodies. Kate opened her mouth to say something light about camp, but Jack cut her off.
"I just wanted you." He repeated, firmer this time, more resolute. Kate licked her lips and swallowed hard. She made to stand, but Jack caught her wrist and kept her next to him.
"Don't run away." Jack begged softly. Kate was caught in his eyes. At that moment, she'd have done anything he asked her to. "Kate…" He whispered, one hand still holding her wrist between them, the other sliding over her cheek to run through her hair. All the will power drained from her, and she was suspended in time, waiting….like she'd always done for him…waiting for his next move. With baited breath, Kate's expression was one of pain mixed with restlessness. Her brow drawn, lips parted, a little fear in her fiery eyes.
Jack drew her closer, slowly, to be sure she had plenty of time to change her mind, so she couldn't say it wasn't her fault, too. He watched her eyes close slowly in rapture when he could feel the warmth from her lips on his. He remembered the taste of her from the day in the jungle when she was too broken down to stop the rush of emotion when he held her. But the way her mouth moved so eagerly against his was much more acute now.
Kate's mind told her to stop, to pull away and to run as far and as fast as she could, but her body couldn't act. All she could do was kiss him back the way she'd wanted to for so long. Her whole body surged emotion, and she pulled him harder to her.
Jack eased her back when they both were breathless. He kissed her face, running his hands through her hair, his arms encasing her shoulders and holding her tight to his body. Kate trembled, wished she could find words to explain it. But it couldn't be explained. So she just pressed a kiss to his neck and tried to calm her pounding heart.
They didn't try to rationalize it. Kate just offered him a flimsy smile and touched his face before going out to catch her thoughts.
Jack watched her go with concern, then lay down and smiled wearily before unintentionally falling into a restful, unbroken sleep.
Kate wrestled with her conscience for a while, in the waning light of the caves. She tried to remember the reasons she'd used to defend her distance. But they didn't apply anymore. The reasons for it now outweighed the reasons against. She knew now how Jack felt about her. She also recalled her first thought when the possibility of Jack's death hit her: He'd never know how much she loved him.
Now there was no denying what was between them. No more running, no more hiding. And she found that she didn't want to hide. She'd punished herself enough. Now it was time to be happy.
She'd just take it easy, if at all possible. She'd go slow, if she could resist. Kate took a calming breath and returned to see Jack…sleeping like a log with a peaceful expression. She grinned and fought the urge to kiss him; he needed his sleep.
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Jack woke when noises outside stirred him. He stretched languorously, and felt a twinge in his stomach, but that was all. He smiled. He wasn't healed yet, but the worst was over. And he was sure Kate would see him through the rest of the way. Speaking of... Jack sat up, searching for Kate, whose face in the morning light had become necessary. She was standing at the mouth of the room, looking out. Jack rose slowly and stood close behind her, hands in his pockets to keep himself from touching her. He wasn't sure how she felt about what had happened.
Kate felt his presence and smiled. She leaned back into him, and he wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her neck.
"How do you feel?" Kate asked. He'd slept soundly all night, and he was walking fine.
"Perfect." He whispered into her ear, and she turned in his arms to stand on her toes and kiss him. To hell with taking it easy; screw taking it slow. She'd waited long enough for love to find her again. She wasn't going to wait another second.
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Alright, so there it is. That's all I have to say about that. Again, I was floored by your reviews for the first installment, and I hope hope hope that you enjoyed this and will review as enthusiastically (if I deserve it). Feel free to point out suggestions or drop a few ideas on me, or to chat, I would love it, trust me!
As always,
Austin B.
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