Secret marriage of the Potters

By SuperGirl

Chapter Ten: the title is Chapter Ten as in T.E.N. you know the number 10.

A/N: I apologize for causing people to fall from chairs and laughing till it hurts and you don't know why it is funny to begin with… Also I am not taking back turning Ron gay…Or is he? DUH DUH DUH. Parts of the numa-numa song are in this. Also a warning if you have fears of the Numa-numa song, well that's just messed up.

Chapter 10:

Harry was utterly depressed it being Wednesday and upset he hadn't had his momentary fulfillment of his 'Mione' since Monday.. .Basically she was on the rag and she thanked god for a break from her horn-ball husband. After Ron had left them and disappeared Harry only had Hermione to occupy his time with, not that he didn't mind. However Hermione was quiet unsure of how Harry had obtained this power horny-ness. That and McGonagall warned them about interrupting classes with Harry's girly screaming; which Hermione loved and thought shined a light on Harry's fermium side.

Harry also hated this time of the month, Hermione would refuse and play-time of any form with him. This made Harry as well depressed. He would try to trick Hermione best as he could to get a rump session in. She would just suggest him taking a cold shower, this in turn would disappoint Harry and cause him to work harder. "I mean it's not that gross, we can go to the Prefect's bath house if you want." he suggested to Hermione at breakfast. He raised his eyebrows suggestive-like.

Hermione dropped her toast and stared at Harry. "I don't think so!" she said appalled at his third suggestion of that morning. "Okay I understood the lake idea you know with the giant Squid, and I guess you would attract sharks…" Harry paused in deep thought. "Sharks? What the bloody hell Harry? How on earth would there be sharks here! Just because Aunt Flow is visiting doesn't mean I am attracting sharks?" Harry looked at her oddly.

"Bears then?"

Hermione glared at Harry the other Griffindors were unsure of what they were disgusting, but were worried about the livelihood of Harry at that moment. "Bears? What the hell is wrong with you Harrison James Potter?" she asked sternly. Harry tilted his head to the side. "What? There was a troll in this school how could we not get a bear or even a shark near here this is Hogwarts after all." Hermione rubbed her temples trying to calm down. "I am not going to attract bears in here HARRY!" she yelled.

"Is Hermione on the rag or something?" asked Dean looking down the table at the two. Harry nodded while eating. The Griffindor boys talked amongst themselves about her. Hermione now embarrassed glared at Harry. "What did I say?" he asked her. "Oh I know you could buy these things I seen on television at your parents house for women…something you insert in." Still red she growled a bit at Harry. "Now everyone knows thanks Harry!" she said sarcastically. "You're the one who's not going to put out right now." he said casually. Hermione gasped at this. "What! Mr. 'my powers the dark lord knows not of' Please! Your horny bull-frog of a man!" she yelled.

"Does this mean you want to go to the Perfects now? Well we do have a free period, sorry no pun meant in that, sorry!" he asked.

"No, it does not! You- You- er man! Ugh!" she yelled stomping away from the hall. Harry turned and watched her walk out. "Latter then?" he asked as she left without turning around. Harry then turned back to his food continuing to eat his breakfast.

Meanwhile…Still in Florida in the states.

"I can not believe you got us lost Tom I told you to listen to the GPS device!" yelled Geladas the Dark Lord's girlfriend. "You can't trust these darn things." he said smacking it on the dash board. "I can't seem to get to the darn airport!" he growl hitting the GPS device. "I told you we would take a port key Geladas!" he growled. "You know how ill I get when we travel by Port key!" she yelled smacking The Dark Lord with her fan in her hand.

"We were suppose to be there two days ago and were still in the states!" he growled. Geladas glared at Tom offended.

"That's not nice at all!" she said in a high pitched voice. The Dark Lord knew what was going to happen next with her. "You dark Wizards are all the same!" she squealed appalled. "All I wanted was for us to have some quality time now you have a body again and are not attached to someone's bloody head!" The dark lord rolled his eyes.

"Take that turn!" she yelled at the Dark Lord. He growled a bit and barley got there in the lane. "We would have been there if you just go by Port key! I don't understand why you even want to come on this trip to beginning with!" said The dark lord trying to pay attention to the road. "I think Fred was right about you!" she said giving the Dark Lord a mean look.

"Who's Fred?" he asked.

"That Death-eater friend of yours."

"I was unaware he had a name." he said solemnly.

"Turn left." said the GPS device.

"Turn left Tom!" yelled Geladas.

"Where am I to turn left the ramp has construction on it!" he said yelling.

"Recalculating." said the device. "When possible make a U-turn."

"Damn device, I can't make a turn on the highway!" yelled the dark lord.

"Oh and that has stopped you before?" said Geladas fanning herself with her fan. The dark Lord just rolled his eyes and mimicked Geladas as she went on about them.

Elsewhere in St. Mongo's…

"Now, Ron be nice Ginny has been doing very good the last few days." said Molly as she led Ron to the floor where Ginny was staying. In a corner of the room the red-haired girl was sitting in a chair rocking back and forth slightly. A healer came up to the two Weasleys. "Ah Mrs. Weasley, nice to see you again I see you brought one of your children today." said the nice healer who will not have a name based on there non-important roll in this fan-fiction, however will be credited as the healer from St. Mongos.

"How are you doing Molly?' asked the unnamed healer.

"Oh fine considering my daughter has lost her mind, my husband is never home. My son here turns out to be gay. I know latter on he will blame me for over-babying him or something happened when he was in grade-school being my fault. I thought I might as well see if you could get me a prescription for some sleeping pills so I can block out the pain now instead of latter when he tries to get me and Author into group canceling. My sister suggested it." she said smiling. Ron looked at his mother oddly.

"Er…I am afraid I can't help you there Mrs. Weasley, but Ginny is doing better these days. I'll leave you three alone while I go do something else." said the Healer leaving.

Ron and Molly walked over to Ginny who was rocking back and forth. "Hello sis." said Ron softly. Ginny looked up and smiled at him then continued to rock back and forth. "Has she been like this?" asked Ron. "Well it's been about five days since she was brought here Ron." said Molly.

"Are you sure?" asked Ron. Molly nodded. Ron went up and hugged Ginny tightly. "Ginny who did this to you?" he asked softly holding her.

Ron let go of Ginny as another Healer entered in the room. Ron turned and looked at the man surprised. "Remus?" he questioned a bit shocked. His old professor nodded and walked over with a tray in his hands with potions on it. "Oh hello Ron, how are you this morning?" he asked as he walked over to Ginny. "Weren't you a driver for the knight bus?" asked Ron confused.

"Yep sure am. Why?" asked Remus looking over at Ron as he took a potion bottle from the tray.

"Aren't you back also teaching at Hogwarts." Remus nodded as he measured out the potion on a spoon. "Sure am." he said giving Ginny her medicine.

"But how can you do all these jobs?" questioned Ron confused.

"Oh I really have no choice." he muttered taking Ginny's pulse with his fingers and watching his watch.

"What do you mean?" asked Ron. Molly look over as equally confused.

"Well I made some bad investments on this share-time place in Florida in the states. Long story there, anyways I have to get off to my next job." said Remus walking out of the room leaving Molly, Ginny and Ron there.

"Numa, Numa." said Ginny loudly. Mrs. Weasley looked over surprised from Ginny. "What? She spoke!" cried Molly hugging Ron. "Say something else Ginny!" The red head said nothing. "Come on you can do it Ginny! Do it for mommy!" cried Mrs. Weasley. The red head looked up with a blank emotionless expression on her face. "Maya hi, Maya ho, Maya ho, Maya ha ha" she sang loudly jumping up restraints in all on her chair.

"Dear Merlin!" cried Molly shocked. "What- its Numa-numa craze!" she gasped out. Ron shock his head unknowing about the numa-numa craze. At that moment Ginny stared to dance crazy-like, well other then losing her mid, more crazy like as she sang the first verse of the numa-numa song. As Ginny started the first verse again Remus popped in the room.

"Sorry looks like I gave her the numa-numa potion by accident, sorry." he said. "I realized this when I got to the potion cabinet before I was going to leave." Ginny however was hoping around dancing to the song. "Maya hi, Maya ho, Maya ho, Maya ha ha!" she sang.

"Oh crap and she only knows the first verse too." said Remus shaking his head. "Not much we can do until she stops singing the song." Molly looked at Ron who was equally worried about Ginny. "Well, she is rather good with the foot work of the song." said Ron encouragingly.

Else-else where with Draco in hell…

Draco was not happy not only was he smelling from not bathing he was utterly depressed, tired, hungry, thirsty and scared and back in the hole in back room of the creepy-buffalo-bill-Norman type of weirdo fig-Newton serial killer also unnamed. He was back with Stewie his dog and only friend the crazy guy had gone off to the store to buy nail polish to paint there nails latter that day when they had their pedicures.

Draco was miserable and wanted someone to save him from this hell. Just then the man returned from the store with a bag in hand. He walked in excited to the room where he had the giant hole in the ground depreciating the value of the house. "Betty I am back and look I got these file things for our feet!" he said excitedly holding up a foot-buffer in his hand. Draco groaned a bit at this.

"Also I got this great CD at the store 'Numa-Numa' the remix. We can dance latter it will be great, don't-cha know!" he squealed excited. Draco looked up to the ceiling and started to pray. "Someone please help save me!" he cried.

At that moment the Author decided to do something to hurry up the plot-line and entered in the scene in her Super-Girl shirt and a pair of faded jeans, the table cloth from the local pizza shop she stole tied to her back with clothing pins for support and sandals on her feet while crashing through the wall. Also emphasizing everything she does in the story in italics.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" asked the crazy man looking at the blonde girl oddly. The write of this fan-fiction glared at the man and pointed her white gloved finger at the man in a super-heroic way. "This has gone far enough!" I er SuperGirl said…Draco looked over oddly at the write who is in first person writing now. "This is odd." he said utterly confused to me, SuperGirl. The Crazy man looked over at me, the writer as confused.

"Are you referring to your self in third person?" asked the man to SuperGirl who raised her eye-brow. "Maybe, also in first as well!" SuperGirl said a bit scared as well. "I needed to hurry things along with the plot you know." SuperGirl said defending herself.

"Look you can't just go around knocking down peoples walls!" said the Serial killer still unnamed in this story. "I can do what I want look, you already dug a hole in the floor. No one in there right mind would buy this if you sold it already, that and you have a dead body in the closet, anyways I came to save you!" SuperGirl said point to where Draco was trying to peek out from to see what was going on. "Oh hello!" he said waving to SuperGirl who waved back to him. "Hi."

"Oh don't go on about that! I get enough from Betty over here about the re-selling value on the house." the man said folding his arms across his chest. SuperGirl rolled her eyes at him. "I came to save Draco." SuperGirl said turning to Draco in the hole. "Wait, is that my dog?" SuperGirl shouted pointing to the badly groomed dog in the whole with Draco. "Maybe." said the creepy guy.

"You can't enter into your own fan-fiction." the man said irritated at SuperGirl. "Your not even a wizard or witch!" he pointed out making SuperGirl irritated. "Look here, Warner brothers own both the Harry Potter and DC comics okay and I can cross over into my story to save Draco to hurry things up with and your just a figment of my imagination added in for humor. You don't exist!" SuperGirl said harshly. Draco blinked a few times and looked at the man. "But he put me in this dress!" he cried out.

"Yeah I know, I kind of thought it was funny you look girl-like in all." SuperGirl said smiling. "Wait, what are you going to do with this weird guy here?" asked Draco looking at SuperGirl. "Look I haven't gotten that far into it, but I can write him out and save you and return you to Hogwarts, sorry but your friends forgot about you. Maybe get him a job or something." SuperGirl explained.

"You know you could write me out of this dress." suggested Draco hopeful. "Sorry no can do." replied SuperGirl. Draco glared at SuperGirl. "Look get over it Draco. Anyways I have to get you back to school and hurry things up because eventually The Dark Lord will finally get to the airport." SuperGirl explained.

"That blood hell doesn't make any sense! What are you anyways if you are not a witch or wizard kind? What do you mean I don't exist!" he asked SuperGirl. "Well… that is a long story there, but I'm going to come back to-" unfortunately SuperGirl was cutoff by Draco screaming.

"You take to fucking long to update no coming back dam nit I been in a hole for a month!" he yelled at SuperGirl who pouted a bit. "Look Draco-babe, we can't have everything we want in life. Give me five minuets to type up the resuming part of saving you quickly, then I will exit from the fan-fiction and stop theses italicized text okay?" SuperGirl said still in third person. Draco agreed since he wanted to get out of the dirty hole.

"Where did you get that shirt?" asked the creepy kidnaper/serial killer/weird guy with no name. SuperGirl looked down at her shirt. "Oh this I bought it at a store why?" she asked off topic. The creepy kidnaper/serial killer/weird guy with no name looked at her oddly. "You can't just go around buying t-shirt for a superhero costume. It un-original and it's not made of spandex! You just look silly and that table-cloth, and it has pizza sauce on it!" SuperGirl looked at her outfit some. "I'm not into sewing Sorry. It's the best I could do at the moment."

"Are we going to fight or something?" asked the creepy kidnaper/serial killer/weird guy with no name. SuperGirl raised an eyebrow at the man. "No- not really you haven't done anything to myself so I would be in the wrong to attack you without probable cause in all. However! I am giving you a great new place to go while I grab Draco. Use my Powers all trademarked with DC comic and Warner Brothers and fly him to Hogwarts without a broom since I don't have one." Draco looked at SuperGirl oddly.

"Without a broom?" he asked shocked. "How is that possible?"

"Well I have my cape on. And I am from another planet Argon City a part of the Krypton planetary system… anyways.." SuperGirl motioned to her back. "It's the best I got."

"That is not a cape at all. It's just sad really! Or maybe her broom was shoved up her ass?" pointed out the creepy kidnaper/serial killer/weird guy with no name. Ignoring him SuperGirl Flew down and grabbed Draco who was still in a dress. "Wait change me first!" he cried. Rolling her eyes he appeared in his Slytherin house robes. "Happy?" he nodded and SuperGirl pulled him up in her arms fly up some.

"Hold on my arm pits hurt!" he cried in pain. SuperGirl glared at the Blonde haired boy still in pigtails he still had not noticed yet. "If you going to carry me flying, hold me at least by the waist." he said upset. "You better hang on and stop complaining." SuperGirl said. So they did and quickly being a super hero. With a flash they were at the doors of Hogwarts.

"Brilliant!" cried Draco as SuperGirl let go of him. He dusted himself off. "What going to happen to the creepy kidnaper/serial killer/weird guy with no name? And do you really have a broom shoved up your ass?" he asked SuperGirl. She glared at him "First, no I do not and second I can't say yet Draco and you just pissed me off." He nodded and turned to open the door.

"You're my hero!" he cried. SuperGirl glared at him oddly. "It's not like were friends now. And I am still pissed off at you!" she replied. On the other side was McGonagall quiet surprised to see Draco and a Girl behind him with a table-cloth on her back. "Draco is that you?" she asked surprised. "I hardly recognized you." she said. Some student were behind her looking to see who she was talking to.

"I only been gone five days!" he said looking at her.

"Well, you have pigtails in your hair." she said. "Thought you were a flat-chest girl for a moment." Draco growled and turned to look at SuperGirl who disappeared out of the fan fiction story now things were going along again… "Well come in Draco it's time for dinner." said McGonagall pulling him in. "Where have you been you smell like rotting flesh." she said pinching her nose. "I was kidnapped by the creepy kidnaper/serial killer/weird guy with no name and lived in a dug out hole for five days in this story, but since the writer takes so long it was really over a month. His dead mom kept popping out of the closet, scary. I was fed fig-Newton's and invisible tea and had my legs waxed!" he said starting to cry. "Who would do that to a boy?" asked a male student shocked. "Poor Draco!"

At that moment Hermione and Harry walked to see what the commotion was. "Oh look it's Draco." said Harry looking at Hermione. "No shit Sherlock." she responded.

"Oh Harry it was horrible!" said Draco going over to the two Potters. "I was stuck in a hole since Sunday! Or was it Saturday night, not matter, but this guy the creepy kidnaper/serial killer/weird guy with no name thought I was a girl and you left me and came back here! I been waiting to be saved by you- you ass hole!" cried Draco. Harry laughed a bit. "Sorry, had homework." said Hermione.

"Well if it makes you feel better, we abandoned Ron as well after a fight we had long story." Harry said smiling at Draco. They walked off towards the dinning hall. They sat at the Griffindor table together at the end while Draco told his story to them.

"Then the writer decided she would write herself in the story and save me because you forgot about me you bastards!" Draco said mad. "And she kept referring to herself in third person using italic text then it was it first person, I think both sometimes at the same time! she was weird and smelled like Pizza sauce. My eyes hurt after a while. It's hard to read italic text when you in a hole" He said pulling out his pigtails.

"Why didn't you go save me!" cried Draco to Harry.

"What? Oh well, I been busy and Hermione is PMSing and won't put out. It's be horrible. I was going to leave on Saturday to look for you. Being the Protagonist of the story in all." said Harry. Draco frown some.

"I had a fucking tea-party from hell with the creepy kidnaper/serial killer/weird guy with no name and stuffed animals!" he cried. "And I lived in a hole he dug out in his back room with Stewie."

"Wow that would defiantly depreciate the value of the property digging a hole in the floor like that." said Hermione. Draco nodded as did Harry. "And letting a dog do whatever in the hole as well…"
"Well that is what I said! Do you think he'd listen to me? No!" cried Draco.

"We have a problem Draco." said Hermione looking at him worried.

"What Now?" he asked.

"Ron knows and he is not here at school, we don't know where he is!" she said softly.

Draco frown some. "Does he know about you two being married?" he asked the two Potters, they nodded worried some. "My lottery!" he cried. "Why did you tell him!" he cried.

"Well, he kind of caught us again." said Harry looking down. "That's besides the point." said Harry looking back up glaring at Hermione. "She won't have sex with me in the pool!" said Harry pointing at her angry.

"Harry that has nothing to do with Ron!" said Hermione angrily.

"Well, she's been PMSing and taking it out on me!" cried Harry. Draco hit his face.

"It's only been 48 hours Harry you can last a few more days! Good-god you're the savior of the wizard world act like it!" she said angrily through her teeth. Draco sneered at Harry a bit grossed out from him. "Look, let me eat in peace, I'm going back to my table, we'll talk latter." said Draco going over to the Slytherin table.

"Well, that saved us a weekend." said Hermione taking a plate and started to fill up her plate.

"I guess." said Harry filling up one for himself.

"Well, we still have a few horcrux to go, I say we go this weekend again and maybe try to get Ron to forgive us." said Hermione.

"We did nothing wrong." said Harry looking at Hermione.

"Well, technically we did lots of things, first we lied to him. Second we had Draco over-dose his sister Ginny he is bad with conversing English standard units to the metric system. Sad really, we should have had Slughorn help him with that. Then we kind of left him and he was put in a morgue, that was funny now looking back at that... So I think he has a good reason to be mad at us, then there was getting it on in front of him as well." she stopped in deep thought. "Well that is about it." she said in conclusion.

"Well if you feel bad I could spank you." said Harry grinning. "You been a bad witch!" he said taking his hand and smacked her rear on the bench causing her to jump a bit. They were interrupted by McGonagall hitting her glass to get everyone attention at dinner. Everyone quieted down and looked over at the head mistress.

"I have an announcement." she said standing up. Harry and Hermione glanced over as did everyone else. "We have just found a new grounds keeper to replace Mr. Finch or whatever his name was. If you hadn't notice he has not been here all semester so far…" she paused as students whispered amongst themselves. "This is Mr. Man." she said pointing to a familiar face. Soon as he stood up Draco Cried out loud and ran from the hall scared. "I want to thank Mistress McGonagall for giving me this opportunity to be the grounds keeper of this fine institute of Witch-craft and wizardry. I had found the advertisement on career-builders online and kept hoping and finally I got the job! I will do my best" he said bowing some.

"Oh he seems nice." said Hermione Harry nodded agreeing as they gave him a round of applause. "I wonder why Draco ran off?" he asked in wonder. Hermione shrugged as she continued to eat her supper.

A/N: well sorry again about the whole, Ron being gay thing… well not really please review lots of love to you guys. I won't be popping into the story anymore now things are back on track! J SuperGirl!

"Wait! Hold it!" cried a voice. Turing around SuperGirl Glanced at Draco out of breath. "How did you-" she growled some. "What now!" she cried. "What the Hell that Man is here!" he cried upset. SuperGirl shrugged some. "Oh yeah, oh and by the way you had a detention coming up as well." said SuperGirl grinning mischievously at the boy. "What NO!" he cried.

"Thanks for reading and please review, I won't be appearing back anytime soon." SuperGirl paused and looked at Draco who had his wand drawled. "How did you find me anyway?"

"I am a fucking Wizard!" he yelled. "All powerful and stuff!"

"Err…Okay, good for you. Umm err… till next time thanks for your reviews xoxos." - SuperGirl

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