Remus spat blood onto the floor and gagged. He did not feel well at all. He pulled himself into a sitting position and leaned against the wall, taking solace in the fact that at least he was completely numb. And it was a full month until the full moon came again. Thirty days. That was good, right? Remus had a whole thirty days before he had to do this all over again.

He spat about seven more times on the floor, but he could not rid the taste of blood from his mouth, and his fingers were too numb and clumsy to help stem any of the bleeding that he was sure was all over his body. He blinked a few times, trying to rid his vision of fuzziness. Then he rolled the sleeves of his robes up as best he could and leaned back to wait for Madam Pomfrey.

The worst was over, and that was a good thing. Remus would be fast asleep in the Hospital Wing in no more than an hour. He could be happy about that, couldn't he?

No, he couldn't. He felt downright awful.

Remus sensed Madam Pomfrey coming through the tunnel and brightened a bit. "Hi," he managed, spitting a little more blood on the floor. He figured he'd bitten his tongue or something.

Madam Pomfrey didn't say anything, and Remus figured that she was angry with him for sitting up again and talking—he shut up and let her heal some of his broken bones.

Silence. Remus watched her work, even though his eyesight was slightly blurred. There were tears in his eyes (he was not crying; it was just the pressure of transforming), but he knew that his hands were too useless to wipe them away (not to mention the blood that was dripping down his fingers. The last thing that Remus needed right now was to smear blood all on his face, though it would certainly be quite the fashion statement).

"I think it was better this time," he said cheerfully, trying to break the awkward silence.

Madam Pomfrey did not look happy. "Shhh!" she hissed, and she didn't even meet his eyes.

He clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes as he waited. A short while passed.

Finally, Madam Pomfrey stood up and brushed off. "I'm assuming you still have the daft desire to walk back to the castle?" she asked, and this time she did look him in the eye.

"Absolutely," he said, still trying to be cheerful.

Madam Pomfrey gritted her teeth and looked away, and a terrible, awful realization hit Remus over the head like a Bludger.

"You're scared of me," he said.

"Don't be ridiculous, Mr. Lupin. I've been caring for you for months. I couldn't be scared of you if I tried."

"No, you are!" said Remus. He was getting a teensy bit hysterical, but he usually sounded hysterical after a full moon. It wasn't really his fault. "You won't look at me and you're not touching me and you're not talking like you usually do! Why are you... what happened? I know what fear looks like; half the teachers are scared of me..."

Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes. "Oh, do be quiet. I'm not scared of you. Calm down and let me help you up."

"No, I can do it by myself." Remus tried to haul himself to his feet, but he only succeeded in shifting to a slightly different sitting position. "I can do it," he repeated, but he knew, logically, that he probably couldn't. He was sort of exhausted. Not sleeping for over twenty-four hours and transforming into a wolf tended to do that to a person. Remus wondered how many calories he had burnt making the shift to and from monster-dom. Probably a lot.

"Mr. Lupin..." said Madam Pomfrey, clearly exasperated.

"It's okay if you're scared of me," said Remus matter-of-factly. "I'm okay with that. I don't want to go home, though—you can just heal me here, and then I'll heal up the rest of the year in my dormitory. I'll be fi—I mean, I'll survive."

"Lupin."

"Is it about the law? If the law's been put back into effect you can just tell me..."

"REMUS! I'm not scared of you." Madam Pomfrey held out her hand, and Remus took it with some hesitation and let her pull him to his feet. She didn't looked revulsed to be touching him, but she also still wasn't looking at him. "You have nothing to worry about. Come on, now. Mind your leg; it's bleeding rather profusely."

She Disillusioned the both of them, and they walked back to the castle together. Madam Pomfrey was still avoiding Remus' gaze, and she did not chatter like she usually did. Remus tried his best to talk to her, but it was met with a mere minimal response instead of a sharp retribution for wasting energy to talk in such a state.

"I'm feeling better than normal," he said.

"That's good."

"Professor Questus told me that the law's been repealed."

"It has."

"So I can stay at Hogwarts?"

"Of course."

"You were right, then; Dumbledore fixed it all."

"Yes."

"Today's Monday, right?"

"Yes."

He gave up, eventually; after the numbness wore off, he simply didn't have the energy. Every step was agony, and it was all Remus could do to keep breathing. Madam Pomfrey looked very uncomfortable.

Finally, they arrived back in the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey guided Remus firmly to his bed... but she still wouldn't look at him. Had Remus done something wrong? He wasn't sure. "I'm sorry," he tried, realizing too late that Madam Pomfrey would probably drop a cap in the jar.

She didn't. "I don't know what you have to be sorry for. Take these potions. No, in order, please. The last one is a Sleeping Draught."

"Er... are you sure you're not...?"

"I'm not scared of you! I know you, Lupin. I doubt you would kill a spider. Scratch that—I doubt you could kill a spider in this state. Now take the potions."

Remus obeyed.

He woke up that afternoon feeling wonderful.

Madam Pomfrey was reading a letter—supposedly from his mum—and the Hospital Wing was quiet. Remus could tell that nobody was in the main ward, and that was usually a good thing—it meant that Madam Pomfrey would talk to him and keep him company. Remus liked having conversations after the full moon. Conversations were low-effort, did not require much moving, helped him sort out his thoughts, and distracted him. Today, it was entirely possible that Madam Pomfrey was too scared of him to want to have a conversation... but Remus would try anyway.

"Good afternoon," he whispered. His voice was very hoarse, but he ignored it. "Thank you so much; I'm feeling brilliant."

"It's my job, Mr. Lupin," said Madam Pomfrey, which is what she would have normally said. But the fact that she didn't even lift her eyes from the letter was worrying. She usually looked at him.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" he asked, twiddling the edge of the blanket between his fingers.

"You broke some bones, but nothing major. A gash on your leg. Some scratches."

"No, I mean... not with me. With you."

"I'm in perfect health."

"You know what I mean."

Madam Pomfrey sighed. She put down the letter and met Remus' eyes, which was comforting. "Are you still hung up on that?" she asked. "I had hoped that it was post-moon rambling. I'm not scared of you."

Remus didn't really want to know what "post-moon rambling" meant. He didn't always remember everything that he said after the full moon, and he certainly didn't want to know. He was perfectly aware that he tended to ramble, but he couldn't remember anything specific. Should he ask...? No. He really didn't want to know. "But something's wrong..." he pressed, staring Madam Pomfrey dead in the eyes as he did so.

"Nothing is wrong," said Madam Pomfrey, and she looked away. "Would you like some water? You bit your lip badly, and I couldn't stem the bleeding very well. We're just going to have to wait."

Remus made a face. "That's my fault. I forgot to grit my teeth during the transformation and I bit my lip instead. Could I have some salt water? Sometimes that helps."

Madam Pomfrey looked even more disturbed. "Yes, of course."

"Are you angry with me?"

"No."

"What did my mum say?"

"Normal things. Your father's job. She talked about the law a bit. Nothing exciting."

"Do I have a letter from Mum or Dad?"

"Oh, yes. I forgot about that." She hurried out of the room, and Remus noticed that she seemed a little too eager to leave. He also wondered why she was so scatter-brained—the letter was usually on his bedside table when he awoke.

She arrived back in her office and handed Remus the letter, and he opened it slowly.

Dear Remus,

If you haven't heard already, the law has been repealed. And the Ministry, for reasons unknown, did not think it prudent to tell us—the parents of an underage werewolf—about the law in the first place. Stupid, if you ask me. We got the information from your Professor Questus. We should have written as soon as we heard, but I was writing to the Ministry and your mum didn't know what exactly was going on.

I'm so sorry this happened. Even though it was repealed, that's a lot of stress directly before the full moon, and completely unfair of them to do so. Madam Pomfrey tells us that you're looking relatively well this month, but we do want to hear it from you. Please write back as soon as you're feeling well enough to hold a quill. Mum is worried sick. Honestly, I'm just angry. When you write back, I expect you to reprimand me firmly and order me not to do anything rash.

Love,
Dad.

The rest of the day was spent eating vegetable broth to clear the constant taste of blood from his mouth, writing letters, reading books, and sleeping. Madam Pomfrey gradually acted less and less odd, and by nighttime, everything was completely back to normal. Remus wondered, but knew that Madam Pomfrey would never tell him.

The next day, Professor Questus stopped by with notes. Madam Pomfrey was in the main ward caring for a student who had Transfigured his fingers into lollies, so Remus took the opportunity to ask Questus what on earth had happened. Questus would tell him. Questus always told him things.

"Was there another attack or something?" Remus asked before Questus had even had the chance to sit down.

"What?" Questus cocked an eyebrow. "Are you delirious again?"

"...Again?"

"Never mind. No, there's not been another attack. Why?"

"Madam Pomfrey was acting a little... odd this morning."

Questus rolled his eyes. "Of course she was. You'd think she'd be a little less sensitive than that, seeing as you're depending on her and you're frightfully observant when it comes to emotions..."

That sounded promising. "So you know what happened?"

"Yeah, and I imagine most of the teachers will be treating you oddly when you end up going back."

"What was it? Why was she scared of me?"

"Scared of you?" Questus laughed a little. "No one could be scared of you. You give yourself far too much credit."

"The other teachers are. Some of them, I mean. I don't think you are. Are you?"

Questus laughed harder. "Absolutely not. I know firsthand that I can beat you in a duel with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back. No one's scared of you, Lupin. The teachers are only somewhat apprehensive of the idea of werewolves in general, and there's a huge difference between apprehension and fear. In fact, a lot of it is subconscious prejudice—which is in the back of one's mind rather than the front, you understand. Some of it is a fear of offending you. And a lot of it is pity. I suspect that's what it is with Pomfrey—she pities you, so she's keeping her distance because she knows that you don't like pity."

"What? Why does she pity me more than before? Is it because of the law?"

"No. Staff meeting in Hogsmeade yesterday evening."

All of a sudden, Remus' heart utterly and completely stopped beating. "Why would there be a...?"

"Dumbledore thought it prudent to discuss some things pertaining to the law. And we typically do them in Hogsmeade when the weather is fair, as it has been—odd, seeing as it's February. Besides, I think he arranged it that way on purpose. Pity, as much as you hate it, has its place... but that's just what Dumbledore believes, I think... I'm not sure I agree."

Remus could not breathe.

"Oh, stop overreacting. You're just as bad as Pomfrey. They were going to have to hear you sometime."

"You told me that they already knew! You said that everybody had done research! It shouldn't be a surprise or anything..."

"They did, and they had, and it shouldn't be." Questus shrugged helplessly. "Don't ask me why they're losing their marbles over it. Dumbledore isn't. I'm not. McGonagall didn't seem too bothered—only concerned about Pomfrey. Flitwick managed to act normal. And Craff seemed to think you deserved it, that horrible woman."

"Is it that bad?!"

"It's not as loud as you think it is, Lupin. Really distant. You can only hear it if you're listening. But Pomfrey's all bothered about it anyway."

"I..." Remus brought the blankets up to his face. "Aughhhh."

"They'll get over it. Is Pomfrey over it yet? I can talk to her if you'd like..."

"No!" said Remus. "I mean, yes. She is. And I don't want you talking to her. You're not very..." Remus searched for a good word, and then gave up. "Patient."

"Right you are," said Questus, grinning. "If she's ever giving you any problems, you need only talk to me. You spend a lot of time in this room, and I can see how her annoyingly inconsistent bedside manner would be infuriating."

Remus didn't want to admit it, but it was. Madam Pomfrey's bedside manner sometimes bothered him more than the actual wounds did. But another fight between Questus and Madam Pomfrey would be even more stressful, so he didn't say anything. Maybe he'd work up the courage to talk to Madam Pomfrey himself later. Despite the bedside manner, she was very easy to talk to.

"Anyway," said Questus, handing Remus a few pages of notes, "here's the lesson from yesterday. Oh, and you needn't come to duelling lessons, obviously. Not until you're out of the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey would have my head."

"And mine," said Remus solemnly.

"No, she likes you too much. You know, while I'm here, I'll just go over some things in the notes... this part right here always gives students problems. Don't know why; it's ridiculously simple."

Remus listened with rapt attention to the lesson, immeasurably glad to be around someone who didn't pity him an ounce.

"Er, Madam Pomfrey? Professor Questus told me that you..."

Madam Pomfrey, who seemed to know exactly what Remus was talking about, put down the potions jar that she'd been holding with a loud clank. "That man! He makes me so angry. He wasn't supposed to tell you."

"Really? So you all were going to keep it a secret from me and let me wonder why everyone was avoiding me? Why did you think that would help?" In through his nose, out through his mouth. No, that didn't help this time. Remus was so angry that he was digging his thumbnail into his index finger. "I'm tired of everyone treating me like a child. You think I'm not mature enough or something? I was bitten by a werewolf, for goodness' sake; I think I can handle it!"

"Please calm down."

"I am calm! I'm perfectly calm! Considering the situation, I think I'm the most calm that I could possibly be!" Remus said calmly.

Scratch that. It wasn't calm at all.

"Let me speak, please," said Madam Pomfrey, and Remus pressed his lips together and crossed his arms. "Remus, you may be a werewolf, but you are also eleven years old. If we know that something is going to cause you distress, our primary instinct is going to be to withhold the information. Do you understand?"

"No! You can't just keep me in the dark about matters that directly concern me..."

"You're right. I'm not saying that we made the correct decision. I'm sorry, I truly am. But you're not a teacher. While you are at Hogwarts, keeping you safe is our job. You're going to learn things on a need-to-know basis, because knowing everything about the teachers' personal feelings is a privilege reserved for their friends."

"But...!"

"You have more responsibility than other students, and certainly more risk. But you're eleven. That said," Madam Pomfrey smoothed out his sheets and smiled at him, "I'll be sure to tell you next time there's a problem so that you don't worry. You shouldn't have to worry about which teachers are afraid of you. Just be eleven, and leave the worrying to us."

Remus sighed. "Yes, Madam Pomfrey. But... next time... if I ask you something, will you tell me?"

"If I think it appropriate information for an eleven-year-old, yes."

"And you won't lie to me?"

"Not at all. I haven't lied to you."

"But you told me there wasn't a problem. And there was."

"The definition of 'problem' is very subjective, which I'm sure is a line of reasoning that you often use with me."

Remus laughed and shook his head. It was true. "Okay," he said. "I'm feeling better." And he was.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Yes, please."

"Wonderful. Let me get you some toast and soup. And then you can read me some more of your novel."

Remus was feeling well enough to leave the Hospital Wing the next day, but Madam Pomfrey didn't let him leave until noon—partly because he was still looking "pale," and partly because of the accumulation of caps that she'd dropped in the jar.

As a result, he entered Charms halfway through. Professor Flitwick gave him a slight nod before continuing the lesson, and Remus slid into the seat beside Peter as quietlyas possible. "Where were you?" Peter whispered.

Remus remembered how James had thought that Remus had looked ill earlier that month. That would do as an excuse. "I wasn't feeling well," he said. "My illness. I was out for a few days."

"Oh."

James and Sirius did not even seem to have realized that Remus had arrived; they were poking each other under the table with their wands and kicking each other furiously, all while trying to remain neutral from the waist up. Remus was thankful for that. He didn't want to have to explain himself again.

Instead, he tried to gauge exactly how Flitwick felt about the whole incident. He'd been at the staff meeting, Remus was certain. But Flitwick, Remus observed, didn't look terribly disturbed, pitying, or afraid. But then, Flitwick never did. Remus very much liked Professor Flitwick.

"What class do we have next?" he whispered to Peter.

"Flying, I think."

Remus put his head on his desk and suppressed a groan. There was no way that Madam Hooch was going to be as indifferent as Flitwick was.

Remus was right. Madam Hooch avoided his gaze even more than usual. She didn't even speak directly to him. Remus tried his best to inconspicuously hide behind Peter.

Astronomy was even worse. He'd forgotten his full moon assignment again, but Sidus didn't even come by him to collect it from him.

In Herbology the next day, Remus looked literally everywhere but Professor Sprout. He pretended to be very interested in his fertilizer, which James thought was a little odd. He managed to get through the class without even seeing her out of the corner of his eye.

Transfiguration was no more awkward than usual, but Professor McGonagall did give him another point. Remus wasn't sure why (all he had done was turn in his homework), and then he realized that it was probably because she pitied him. He hated it.

And Professor Slughorn was the worst. Remus could feel Slughorn staring at him all day. He left class as quickly as possible, leaving Peter to run after him in his wake.

DAD was the only bright spot. Professor Questus didn't care at all, and it was lovely. Remus even managed to cast a perfect Verdimillious, much to the envy of his friends. He'd been practicing in the Hospital Wing.

It all died down after one awkward class each, a fact for which Remus was thankful. He went to see Hagrid in the evening to calm his nerves.

"You weren't at Hogsmeade last night, were you?" he asked tentatively.

"Nah. Are yeh talking abou' the staff meeting? I don' have much ter say, so I only come sometimes."

"Oh."

"Why do yeh ask?"

"I... You know the Shrieking Shack? Well, it was... it was a full moon during the staff meeting, and they..."

"They've bin treating yeh oddly?"

"Yes. It's been weird."

"Ah."

"It's mostly died down. But it was still pretty horrible. None of them would even look at me."

"Not even Professor Questus?"

Remus giggled. "No, he was the same as ever. Professor Flitwick was okay too."

"Tha's good. Yeh know, when I was in first-year, half of the teachers stared, and half of them..."

"Tried so hard not to stare that they ended up not looking at you at all?"

"Yep. Sounds like yeh know the feeling well, eh?"

"Mm-hm."

"S'not their fault. They're jus' trying ter be sensitive."

Remus nodded. "I know. But it was still hard. It makes me wonder when it's going to happen again—like, they find out something about me that I didn't want them to know, and then they all pity me and stare at me and stop looking at me. It makes it hard to focus."

"I can talk ter them if yeh want, but I think Professor Questus is going ter shout them all ter pieces."

"No, I don't want... Wait, what?"

"He's very outspoken. Not very..."

"Tactful."

"Nope. And he likes yeh, I think."

Remus smiled. "Oddly enough, I'm good at his class."

"S'not odd. Yer bright, you are. Anyway, do yeh want ter hear abou' the firs'-year Ravenclaws' lesson yesterday? One of them flew straight inter the Forbidden Forest!"

Remus settled back into his chair. He loved Hagrid's stories.

Remus met up with Professor Questus on Thursday to duel. "Have you been practicing nonverbal spells?" Questus asked him.

"A little, sir," Remus admitted. "I was quite bored in the Hospital Wing."

"I figured. Can you cast anything yet?"

"No. Not for the life of me. How on earth is it a normal thing that witches and wizards do effortlessly? I can't even begin to fathom doing it so easily."

"You're eleven."

"As I've been reminded constantly this week. I'm twelve in two months."

Questus raised his eyebrows in a gesture of exaggerated surprise. "Twelve! That's ancient! Someone alert the authorities; you can vote and get married and run for Minister!" Then Questus dropped the act and rolled his eyes. "That's still young. You only just learned how to cast spells verbally. I don't expect you to get the hang of it anytime soon."

"I can't do any of those," Remus muttered.

"Come again?"

He hadn't meant to say that out loud. "Werewolves can't vote. Or run for Minister. And it's not very responsible of us to get married."

"Oh, right. Well, never mind, then. My point is, you're being ridiculous. Doesn't matter how young you are. My goal is to teach you to cast reliable nonverbal spells by the end of this year. Seeing as we're still in February, we've got time. And remember: goals aren't always met. I won't hate you if you don't end up succeeding."

Suddenly, Remus' wand was on the floor. "What? How did you Disarm me? You're not even holding a wand!"

Questus gave him an odd look. "You dropped it."

"Oh... I'm such an idiot."

"Not disputing that," said Questus. "Wandless magic is possible, actually. But it takes practice, and that is most definitely not something that an eleven-year-old should be learning... sorry. Eleven and ten months, I mean. Three, two, one..." Questus suddenly shot sparks at Remus, and Remus jumped. "That's disappointing. I even counted down. Try again. Three, two, one..." This time, Remus managed to produce a shield. "Good."

The lesson continued like that for a while before Questus finally put his wand away and told Remus to take a break. "Teachers treating you well?" he asked, handing Remus a cup of tea.

"Yes, sir. It's gotten much better."

"Good. Have you finished your essay for me?"

"Of course, sir."

"Have your friends finished the essay?"

"Peter has. I helped him with it. James and Sirius haven't even started."

Questus peered into his own cup and took a sip. "The sad thing is, they'll probably get decent scores on their exams without even trying. Life isn't fair, is it? I had to revise for hours to pass my classes."

"You did?"

"Of course. At one point, I was reading and revising for up to ten hours a day. N.E.W.T.s were brutal, I was never very bright, and I was intent on receiving perfect scores." He grinned. "I did, by the way. O's on every single exam. Intelligence can be learned."

Remus made a note to use that phrase on Peter. Suddenly, he felt a sting in his arm and dropped his mug. Questus had shot sparks at him again. "Ow!"

"That's the second thing you've dropped today."

"I'm still disoriented. Full moon."

"That's no excuse. Wand at the ready..."

Remus sighed and pulled his wand out of his pocket. Exactly four seconds later, he'd been Disarmed once again.

AN: Lol I said that I was back, and then I forgot to publish a chapter yesterday. Anyway... NOW I'm back for real, and I'll put out another chapter tomorrow!