A/N This isn't the greatest chapter or the longest, but I wanted to get it out of the way. There will be more exciting stuff happening to the trio in later chapters I promise. REVIEW and be honest! ENJOY!
The trio pulled up to Missouris' house in the late afternoon after a couple days on the road. Dean thought this would help Rain get through...whatever it was she was going through. Sam still insisted that she had a nervious breakdown. Either way, Dean was hell bent on helping her. Sam and Dean got out of the car and made there way up to the door. Rain just sat in the car, rambling on about the little girl in the store and about how weak she is.
"Boys. It's been a long time." The old psychic said with a smile as she greeted the brothers. Neither returned the smile. "Something wrong? Where's you sister?"
"The car. She need's you help." Dean asked with such desperation in his voice is almost made Missouri cry right there.
"Bring her in and I'll see what I can do." She went back inside, leaving the door open as the two turned to get Rain. As they turned they came face to face with her.
"What the?"
"Sorry." Rain said as she focused on the grass. It was late fall and it was turning brown. "The grass is dying." Dean and Sam exchanged glances. Rain looked up and just as quickly looked back down.
"We're going to stay here for a while ok." Rain shrugged as she entered the house.
"Rain honey. How have you been?"
"Killed a little girl. You?" Missouri didn't know what to say. She knew the guilt Rain was feeling and she also knew that it was missplaced.
"We need to talk." She grabbed Rain's hand, but Rain jerked it away. "I'm sorry child."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"What about what happened?" The older woman asked as Dean and Sam walked into the room. Both women looked at them and Missouri nodded for them to follow her into another room. "You need to leave."
"What? Why?" Dean asked shocked that Missouri would suggest that they leave.
"I know your worried and that you want to help, but you can't. This goes far beyond anything either of you can do."
"So then what? What does she need to do to help herself?"
"That's just the thing. She needs to help HERSELF. No one can help her at this point."
"Are you sure?" Sam asked sounding concerned for his sisters well being.
"She had to work this out herself. All that she had done in her life. Loosing her demon powers, watching that little girl die and not being able to save her. All these things she has to work through."
"But.."
"No Dean. As much as it may hurt you, you can't help her with this problem."
"So then what can we do?" Sam asked.
"What you do best. Hunt."
"Just leave her here?" Dean once again was shocked. Missouri nodded at the older man. "Not happening. Not after what happened last time we left her alone. I'm not leaving without her and that's that." Sam knew Dean wasn't going to leave here without Rain. Now all they needed to do was find a way that THEY could help her.
"Well then, if your staying. I'll show you to your rooms." The old psychic led the boys upstairs as Rain sat in silence in the living room. After getting settled in, Dean stood in the door way watching her. It looked like she was talking to someone that wasn't there. Sure he couldn't make out any words, but just the way she was acting and the way he felt told him that's what was going on. After a half hour Dean went and sat next to her.
"I'm so sorry." Dean was a little shocked to hear her voice. "If I was stronger that little girl would still be here. Why couldn't they have killed me instead?" Dean grabbed his sister's face and turned it so she was facing him.
"Don't you ever say something like that again. What would happen to us if you weren't here?"
"Nothing and that's the point. If you had never found me, than I would still have my powers and that girl would still be alive."
"You don't know that."
"What if I never went to that store that morning? What would have happened then huh?"
"I don't know Rain. Your asking me for answers that I can't give you." Dean let her face go, but she continued to look at him.
"Do you want to know?"
"Know what?"
"What else I went through and never showed you?" He looked at her with confused eyes. "The entire time I was with him I was strong. Never breaking no matter what. No matter what he did, I would remain strong. I had to. Just incase."
"Incase of what?" She turned and was looking at the floor again.
"Incase I had to fight back. I knew that if that happened that I would loose my life. I never wanted that to happen. I wanted to see you again. I stayed strong for that, just as you stay strong for Sam. Even though I tried so hard, there were times when I was weak and that's when it hurt. That's when the pain started. I felt everything I had done. Every life I took. All the pain I caused I felt."
"So you had to stay strong so there would be no pain?"
"Something like that." She wiped her eyes and looked up at her twin. She saw the concern for her flowing out of his eyes as well. She took a deep breath and went on, "There are alot of thing's that happened that you'll never know. That I never want you to know. Things that make me wish I could trade places with that little girl. I might not know what dad felt that night I left, but atleast he got me back. That mother will never hold her child again and it's all my fault. I just need to be stronger."
"So what are you saying? You want to be with the demon again? You want your demon powers back? Sorry sis, but that's not happening. Not while I'm alive."
"You don't..."
"Understand? I understand perfectly Rain. Remember the last night we were together? Right before mom died and you went with that thing." She nodded. "I know how you feel now because I felt it then. Not being able to protect you was the worst feeling in the world for me. Not knowing whether you were alive or dead. Then after we found you and you turned out to be a tiny but on the evil side, when you showed me everything you went through. I would have given my life up ten fold to be able to take all that pain and sadness away. I never want anything like that to ever happen to you or to Sam ever again. I'll die before I let that happen. I know it feels like you hit bottom, but it will get better."
"When I killed Jessica." She paused for a moment. Dean didn't know what to day. He was just glad Sam wasn't here. "I wasn't there for her, I was there for Sam. She just happened to be there. Wrong place, wrong time thing. I never planned on killing her. It's just that she..."
"She what?" The twin's lifted their heads to look at Sam. His face showed nothing but anger and he was staring right through Rain. "She what Rain?"
"She wanted to save you." Rain turned so she didn't have to face her younger brother. "All the pain she went through was for you. Just as it was when I left."
"So then it is all because of me?" Sam's anger was building and Rain was getting more and more uncomfortable. "You leaving and then killing Jess. Why the hell couldn't you have just killed me?" Sam screamed at her. Rain didn't know what to say to him. She was lost with no way back. "Look at me!" Rain turned and looked at him. They were nose to nose and Dean didn't like where this was going. "Why couldn't you have just waited and killed me?"
"Because killing her was easier!" Rain screamed before she thought about what she was about to say. Both her brother's looked at her in amazement. Before they could say anything, she got up and left the room. Sam sat down next to Dean and didn't say a word for a long time. Neither knew what to say. Sam placed his head in his lap and cried.
"You alright man?"
"Alright? Do I look alright? She killed her because it was easy!"
"I don't think that's what she ment by it Sam."
"I wish we never found her." Shocked Dean eyes his baby brother, not believing what he just said. "She should have stayed with the demon where she belonged."
"You don't mean that." Sam got up and was about to leave the room
"Yes I do." He lifted his head and was looking at Rain.
"Do you?" Sam was stuck now. After all this time he finally said what he felt, he just wished Rain didn't have to hear it. "So you wish you never found me?" Dean stood up and walked to his brother and sister.
"Maybe we should get some sleep and talk about this in the morning."
"How about we talk about it now. How long have you waited to say that Sam?" Sam said nothing. He just looked away. Rain grabbed his collar and forced him to look at her. "HOW LONG?"
"Since I found out you killed Jessica! I wish you had just stayed where you were and died there." Neither twin knew what to say to their little brother. Rain knew he hated her, but never thought it would be this much. As for Dean, his world was falling apart and he could do nothing to fix it. "You should have stayed gone Rain."
STOP THIS NOW!" All three siblings turned to the door. There they saw John.
'As if I didn't have enough problems already!' Rain thought. Dean glanced over at her and saw how uncomfortable she was becomming. First her younger brother said they wished they never found her and then bitch smacking daddy shows up.
"What do you want? This has nothing to do with you." Sam spat at his father.
"It has everthing to do with him. It has to do with all of you." All eyes on Missouri.
"What are you talking about?" Rain asked never taking her eyes off John.
"I knew something was wrong when you showed up. I just didn't know how wrong untill I talked to John."
"What?" Confused Dean asked the old woman.
"It's been following you since the robbery. Feeding off you." John began to explain to his children. By this time they all sat in the living room. Sam and Rain FAR apart for one another. "It's a demon that feeds on emotions. If the emotonis aren't strong enough, it makes them strong. Everything your both feeling is because of this thing, not because you mean it."
"No I mean it. I wish we never found her and I hate her."
"Jesus Sam, you sound like a three year old."
"Stop it you two!" Dean scolded. he then faced his father. "So what do we do about this?"
"They have to work this out together and he has to forgive her."
"Easier said than done." Dean rolled his eyes. "What about her?"
"She had to realize that she's not weak and that that child's death has nothing to do with her."
"But I couldn't save her. It has everything to do with me."
"Wait! Did you say they have to work this out TOGETHER?" Missouri asked. John nodded.
"They'll kill each other."
"No they won't."
"can you guys stop talking like we're not even here." Rain said.
"You stay here." He pointed to Rain and Sam. "Dean, you come with me." They were about to leave the room. "Make sure they don't say anything to each other." Missouri nodded as the father and son left the room.
"What is it?"
"You can't be apart of this Dean. They have to fight this one on their own."
"Can they do that without killing each other?"
"I don't know. I do know that if this keeps up like this, both of them will die." Dean glared at his father.
"What do you mean they'll die?"
"It's feeding off them. Soon there won't be anything left of either of them." The conversation was about to go on untill shattering glass from the other room pulled them away. "What the hell is going on?"
"She tried to kill me, AGAIN!"
"I did not! Your the one that want's me dead now remember!"
"What happened?" John asked Missouri as Dean went to try and break up the fight that was raging in the living room. A double punch from Rain and Sam told him to back off.
"They were just sitting there, when suddenly Sam went after her. Rain faught back, but the odd thing is.."
"Is what?" Dean asked tending to his bloody nose.
"Her power's. She had them."
"What?" John and Dean asked in unison.
"They're not as strong as they were before, but she has them." All three looked back at the fighting siblings. Both were screaming stuff purposely to hurt the other. Rain was saying every mean thing about Jess that she could think of and Sam was going on about how he wished Rain was dead and how he was glad she went through everthing she did. Rain was running around the room so fast that no one could keep on eye on her. She grabbed Sam from behind and pinned him to the floor. John and Dean went to help him, but Rain kept them back.
"This is between us. STAY OUT OF IT!" Both men were thrown back and Rain turned back to Sam. "You want to finish this now Sammy?"
"Don't call me that you stupid bitch!"
"Oh with the mouth Sam. Damn. Well then let's end it then shall we." She flicked her fingers and a dagger appeared in her hand. Sam's eyes went wide in fear. "Neat trick isn't it? Bye Sam." Rain raised the dagger and brought it down, missing Sam's neck by inches. She sat up and grabbed her head, screaming. "NO! STOP IT! NOT AGAIN! I WON'T BE YOUR PUPPET AGAIN!" Sam kicked out her feet and he was now on top. He looked into Rain's black eyes and saw her fighting. "I didn't kill her Sam."
"What?"
"I didn't kill Jessica. Uvall did."
"But you said,"
"I know what I said."
"Why?"
"To make you hate me." She punched him and was now back on top. "You had to hate me. If you hated me, he could't have you."
"What?"
"If you felt any kind of love for me, he would have easily got you. Hateing me was the only way to keep you safe." John and Dean were standing by Missourim, watching the scene between the siblings. "He'll come soon now." Rain stood up and her eyes went back to their normal green.
"You never lost your power's did you?" Dean asked stepping to her and Sam. She looked at him and shook her head. "And this whole thing?"
"It's over. Sam forgave Rain and Rain no longer feels weak." John said as he helped Sam up.
"I still don't get what the hell just happened." Sam asked confused. Sure he forgave Rain. I mean if she didn't kill Jess than what reason did he have to hate her.
"I buried the power's deep inside me. It was a way to protect you. I can never get rid of them. There as much a part of me as the 'twin thing' that we have Dean. And the demon tracked Sam based on his emotions. Love ment weakness while hate ment strength."
"So if Sam was to love you, that would be the demon's chance to attack?" Rain nodded.
"That kinda makes sense. In a creepy kind of way." Sam said as he stood next to Rain. She looked at him and smiled. "So you didn't kill Jess?"
"No. Hey where did dad go?" The four people looked up and saw no trace of John. "Ran away before I got the chance for payback. That sucks." Her brother's gave her evil eyes. "What? He slapped me when I was five. I have to get him back somehow."
"So you two aren't going to kill each other?" Sam and Rain shook their heads. "And your little breakdown is done with?" Rain nodded. "And you forgive her?" Dam nodded. "And your not going to hit me with a spoon?" Missouri shook her head. "So we can get back to hunting now?"
"What the hell was that about Dean?"
"What? Just had to make sure everything was in order that's all."
"Well then we can get back to hunting." Sam said as he headed upstairs. All three Winchesters wanted to sleep for a week.
"One more thing."
"Oh what?" Rain said from behind.
"The demon can track us now can't he?" Rain nodded. "Great."
"But I can also track him. I'll know where he is so we can always be a step ahead untill we figure out how to kill it."
"You don't know how to kill it?" Dean asked as he stopped infront of the room he and Sam shared.
"What you thought I did? I know how to send him to hell, but that only lasts a couple days at most."
"Well we'll find out how to kill it sooner or later. Till then we kill every evil thing we can."
"I agree with that one a hundred percent." Rain said as she headed for her room.
"As do I." Dean turned to Sam. "What's wrong with you man?"
"Just worried. I mean if she still had her powers, that what if.."
'Nothing's going to happen Dean.'
'I know. It's just that.'
'I had them all this time and besides I can control them you know.'
'I know.'
'So calm down and get some sleep will ya.'
'Goodnight Rain.'
'Night Dean.' By the time Dean snapped out of it, Sam was already in bed and asleep. "At least I don't get the couch this time." He said with a smile as he climbed into his bed for the night.