SNOWSWEPT

by CuddleFae

Dr. Lauren Lewis has been assigned to oversee the opening of a new hospital. Overwhelmed by all there is to know and learn in an unfamiliar land, she crosses paths with a mysterious woman with a dark past - a past that has caused her to live by one rule. Trust no one. Thrown into a desperate struggle, can they overcome the barriers between them in their fight to survive?

23. Chapter 23: I Had A Moment

A/N: Sorry for any confusion the rewrite of the previous chapter may have caused. I didn't realize I had separated the chapters at such a crucial point as things were re-arranged in the process. Hopefully this will help everyone to understand where Lauren's mind was when she left Shannon to deal with Bo's illness.

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Chapter 23: I Had A Moment

The Clinic – One Hour Later…

Carolyn leaned over and grabbed the land line, "Talkeetna Clinic, how may I help you?"

"Lynnie, it's me. Is Lauren there yet?"

"She's up in her apartment, Shannon. What happened? She looked like hell." Carolyn said, clearly upset over their friend's appearance when she'd arrived.

Shannon sighed, "She called off the wedding. Bo was delirious and was talking all kinds of shit about how she's not good enough for Lauren, telling Kenzi to talk her out of marrying her because she couldn't do it herself. Lauren said until she gets her shit together, she won't marry her."

"Shit. Bo is going to be devastated."

Shannon shook her head, "I don't know about that, Carolyn. They just don't seem to… couple-y lately. And that comment we overheard about Bo saying she'd be lucky to get lucky once a week with Lauren nowadays… I mean, it doesn't exactly speak to bliss in BoLo land."

Carolyn nodded, "BoLo?"

"Yea, it's their couple name."

"According to who?"

Shannon laughed, "According to Kelly."

"Well, that's your first problem."

"I know. Listening to Kelly is always hit or miss when it comes to social situations," Shannon said, rolling her eyes, "Bo's been a mess for months. Honestly, I think Lauren's right. She needs to get her head straight. I just think that she's got a ton of garbage and – well, we all know she had zero practice in relationships before Lauren."

Carolyn shook her head, "She was with Kyle and Tamsin… and he-who-shall-not-be-named."

"I can't believe Bo ever slept with Dyson. And she wasn't actually with Kyle and Tamsin. She slept with them when she was in town which we all know wasn't that often before Lauren. Kyle said she was always just passing through."

Carolyn replied, "Which is why Lauren is so special to Bo. She's the first woman who ever made Bo stick around. I mean, Bo did tell you that the homestead was always meant to be more of a storage, workshop, garden and training ground. She purchased all that land to have privacy and she kept the barn because it was the perfect workshop."

Shannon grinned, "Now the barn has two floors so she has guest quarters and two additions for storage and… well, whatever that other big structure is."

Carolyn laughed, "Lauren said it's her workshop. Did you see that Adirondack love seat she made? The girl has got game when it comes to woodworking."

Shannon chuckled, "And wouldn't we love to see Bo in a toolbelt!"

"Shhh… no one can ever know that we girl watch with our best friends!"

"I know, I know. You think they'll think it's creepy. I think it's flattering. They're two beautiful women and there's nothing wrong with appreciating that beauty." Shannon reminded.

Carolyn sighed, "As long as I'm still your number one."

Shannon laughed, "You know you're right up there next to Bella Hadid."

Carolyn shook her head, "You and your science list."

"What? Science determined the most beautiful women in the world, and I happen to agree with their number one. Would you rather I was reading the gossip rags?"

"Oh, God no! Bella Hadid it is… with me a close second."

It was unfortunate, Shannon thought, that Lynnie couldn't see her mischievous grin right now as she replied, "But I don't crave Bella Hadid's body like I do yours. I don't want to do the things to that supermodel that I would love to do to you right now. To have you here with me…"

"So you could make love to me next to a tub of ice on a freezing cold wet floor with Bo unconscious in said tub?" Carolyn laughed, knowing she was throwing cold water on Shannon's mood and she didn't actually know if Bo was still there at this point.

"Wow. You really know how to ruin a moment."

"Later, my love. Right now, I need you back here. So let's stay focused."

"Fine. But that 'later' better be a promise."

"It is." Carolyn laughed.

Shannon switched back to business, "What's Lauren doing?"

"I sent her up to sleep. She wanted to work, but Doctor Mallie refused to allow it. Lauren started to argue her ownership of the clinic, but I stopped her and pulled her back to her desk. Luckily, she didn't fight me and make a scene. I quietly reminded her that pulling rank on Mallie would be a very bad professional decision with our current employee shortage. Then, I tried – as gently as possible – to explain that she looked like hammered shit. Now that I have the big picture, I know why. I'm sure she'll regret what she said when she wakes up. I'm sure she just lost her patience. She's running on little to no sleep in almost forty-eight hours. I was probably a little too hard on her. I didn't know what was happening at the hotel…"

Shannon laughed, "I'm sure you were very gentle… and brutally honest."

"I have a gift." Carolyn smiled, proudly, "So are you coming back or staying there?"

"I was kind of left holding the bag here. Lauren stormed out, then Kenzi stormed out. It was me and a frozen Bo-in-the-bath. Anyway, once I masked Bo so she wouldn't inhale any of the cleaning solutions, I mopped… well, shoveled and then mopped up the wet floor, cleaned and disinfected the room so the next guest wouldn't get the pox. I just called Kenzi's guys to help me move Bo to Kurt's chopper."

"You had her in an ice bath?"

"She was up to 106, so we didn't have a choice."

"Damn."

"Yea, so all that stuff she was saying was likely brought on by the fever. She seemed to be having a mix of flashbacks and hallucinations… stuff we've never heard before. Obviously, there was some serious reveals about what's been going on in her subconscious mind – that's what set Lauren off. I think she thought they were past all of that – or at least that Bo trusted her to be with her all the way no matter what."

Carolyn looked up to see that Mary was standing there, overhearing their conversation, "Mary, I'm sorry. We weren't trying to meddle. We're just concerned for our friends – both of them."

Mary shook her head, "I'm not here to judge a private conversation you are having with your partner about what worries you, Child. I'm here to help my daughter and her partner in any way I can. I trust your conversation has the same goal in mind?

Carolyn nodded, "Yes, of course."

"Well, if you'd like, I may be able to shed some light… let's call it a different perspective, on recent happenings."

"Thank you." Carolyn replied, turning back to her phone and Shannon, "Shannie? I've got Mary here. I think she heard at least some of what we were saying – well, my side anyway. Okay for me to bring her up to speed?"

"Definitely. I'm sure Mary will have some words of wisdom for Lauren."

"Why don't you talk to Mary so she's not hearing all of this second hand?" Carolyn suggested.

Shannon replied, "Okay. I have a question for her anyway."

Carolyn extended the phone to Mary, explaining, "It's Shannon. She's with your daughter."

Mary put the phone to her ear, "Shannon?"

"Hi Mary."

"How is she?"

"Better now. Listen, she was having some hallucinations that I think we should talk about."

"Hallucinations? You mean she was seeing things? Is that common with chicken pox?"

Carolyn led Mary to a more private area and put the phone on speaker so Shannon could hear both of them,

"Not the virus itself. Fevers can often cause people to hallucinate. In Bo's case, she seemed to be reliving a specific time in her past."

Mary nodded, "I see. In that case, I may have insight. Exactly what did she say that draws your concern?"

"She was talking about Yuji and Yara? She has brought them up in different contexts several times now."

Mary sighed, "They were my lead dogs for years. Yara retired first. Yuji is the Dame to Harper's line."

"Well, Bo said a lot of stuff while Lauren was still here and… well, that stuff led Lauren to call off the wedding… for now, at least."

Mary sighed, "Carolyn, would you go check on your friend Lauren and just make sure that she has eaten and gone to bed? For her to call of their wedding – she must be terribly upset."

Carolyn nodded, "Talk to you soon, Shannie. Love you."

"Love you, Lynnie." Shannon replied before she heard Mary's voice once more,

"Tell me, Shannon. Tell me what troubles my daughters mind."

"Okay, so… it all started…"

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Carolyn slipped into Lauren's apartment, quietly closing the door behind her. She walked through the living room, turning on the small reading lamp so that she could see where she was going. When her eyes adjusted to the light, her jaw dropped. The place was trashed.

She walked slowly forward, picking up the broken picture frames that she and her partner had helped Lauren hang on the wall last year after the clinic had been rebuilt. Shards of glass were scattered across the floor and furniture. A chair was tipped. She pulled a small trophy from the TV screen and looked down at the engraving. She shook her head seeing that it was the Checkpoint Doctor trophy Lauren had been awarded for service above and beyond the call of duty in last years' Iditarod.

On the table, she found a bowl of stew and slice of bread – mostly eaten. Well, Carolyn thought, at least she had some food in her. She moved to the kitchen and found the stew still on the stove. The propane was off, so she replaced the lid and slid the whole pot into the refrigerator before retrieving the dishes and putting them into the sink.

"I would have just smashed the dishes because then I wouldn't have to wash them." She said, pulling a piece of glass from the stovetop and dropping it in the trashcan, "Damn Lauren. You've got some arm. There's glass freakin' everywhere."

Finally, she went to the bedroom and carefully opened the door. She saw the blonde mane of hair strewn across the pillowcase, balled up tissues on the floor and bed covers.

Carolyn whispered to her friend, "Oh, Lauren. What are you doing? You know Bo didn't really mean any of that stuff she said. It was just the fever talking."

She shook her head, walking over and pulling the covers up over her shoulders. She reached over and turned off the alarm clock.

Staring down at the hardest working, most stubborn human she'd ever known, she sighed,

"Okay. The fever talks and we need to listen. But it's not personal, Lauren. It's stuff Bo has buried deep. She loves you. You know she does. You both have to stop doubting each other."

She walked to the door, exiting but stopped short when she heard a soft whimper. Apparently she was not as asleep as she'd thought… still crying. Shit. Lauren would never want to see her cry. Carolyn froze, contemplating her options – considering what Lauren would want versus what she felt was best for Lauren. Finally, she decided that checking in was the least that she should do,

"Lauren?"

The blonde shot straight up in the bed, looking towards the door, "Who's there?"

Carolyn swallowed hard, "It's Lynnie. Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I was asked to check on you to make sure you were getting some sleep, but heard you were crying so… is there anything I can do?"

She could see Lauren's shoulders drop, her head lower in the dim light, "Not unless you can do something about my fiancé's sudden loss of confidence."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

Lauren chuckled, "Seriously, Carolyn? I know that you and Shannon must have talked by now and since you two have no secrets, you know what happened."

Carolyn walked into the room and sat at the bottom of the bed, "Okay, so you know us all too well. Is there anything I can do, Lauren? I mean… are you sure?"

Lauren nodded, "You didn't hear her, Carolyn. She's not ready for this. She's not ready for me and definitely not ready for marriage. Hell, I walked out on the love of my life while she had one foot in the grave. Apparently, I'm not ready for this either."

The nurse nodded, "Lauren, we all know that Bo's got seven full sets of luggage from her past to unpack, but she's willing to do the work. Hell, she is doing the work. That's got to count for something."

"Lynnie, the wedding is supposed to be two months away!" Lauren replied, reaching over to grab another tissue from the box.

Carolyn smiled, "The idea is a winter wedding, right?"

Lauren shrugged, "That was the plan."

"Well, who says winter means December then? Around here, winter pushes straight through to March and sometimes April, right? Besides, she's got the Iditarod to train for, so maybe you move the wedding to after the race?"

Lauren smiled, "I suppose. I think we were aiming for early winter so that the snow wasn't as bad."

Carolyn laughed, "Have you been outside, lately?"

"I guess that's true."

Carolyn nodded, "So, you'll reconsider?"

"I'm delaying the wedding for sure. That's all I can say right now. It may be months, it may be years, it may be… longer. I don't know. I'm still trying to process all that I said."

"Want to process with me?" Mary asked, stepping into the room.

Lauren's head snapped up, "Mary?"

"Yes, Child. Do you want to talk?"

Lauren shrugged, "Are you going to try to make me change my mind about the wedding?"

Mary shook her head, "My intention is to pick that big doctor brain of yours to figure out what my daughter's subconscious is doing to her."

Carolyn smiled at Lauren, "I'm going to head back down to the clinic. I think you're in capable hands."

Lauren nodded, "Thank you for checking on me."

"Thank you for allowing it. I know how you feel about people seeing you cry."

"Yea, well I'm too tired and too mentally and emotionally drained to give a rats ass about anything right now."

Carolyn smiled, "Good to know. Then you won't mind me working my magic with the clinic schedule."

"Not at all." Lauren replied, "Wow. It actually felt good to say that."

"Giving up control can be a good thing." Carolyn reminded, walking towards the doctor, "See you when I see you."

Carolyn placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Be patient with yourself. Be patient with Bo. As a matter of fact…" She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a small laminated wallet-sized card, "This is only a loan. I can make you one if you'd like it. Shannie and I each carry this with us all day, every day. It's our commitment to each other. Read it. Please. I think it will help."

She turned and headed out of the room while Mary came around the other side of Lauren's bed and stretched out on her back, hands behind her head,

"Want to read that out loud? I'm curious." Mary smiled.

Lauren reached over and turned on the small lamp. She laid down beside Mary and held up the card,

"Actually, I think my eyes are too swollen shut to read. It's blurry as hell."

"Okay, I'll read and you listen." Mary smiled, taking the card. She only needed to see the first line before she smiled, "I thought your friends didn't believe in the Bible?"

Lauren shrugged, "It's not that they don't believe in it. They just don't believe in people's interpretations of it. Lynnie has mentioned that there are some quotes in the book that are often a source of strength for her in rough times. Her Mom was very religious and would share them with her when she was young."

Mary nodded, "I see. This must be one such item from her book."

"Great. Bible wisdom is just what I need right now. I'm a scientist. I believe the Earth was born of a massive cosmic explosion and that – in time – our sun will burn us to pieces before it blows the planet and all life to bits. This world is what we make of it."

Mary smiled, "Well, then I suppose how we treat each other and how we love while we're lucky enough to be alive during Earth's life should be important."

Lauren looked at Mary, rolling onto her side and tucking her arm under her pillow, "It is. It's probably the most important thing about our lives. I believe we're put here to help each other."

Mary nodded, "And you do that by being a doctor?"

"I hope so. Yes."

"Then what is the purpose of love and intimacy? What is the purpose of family and friends? What is the purpose of sitting by the river and watching your mountain in awe of its beauty?"

"I think all of those things remind us to live each day with passion and gusto. When I sit and watch my mountain, when I listen to the rush of the water, when I watch Bo playing with Rudy and just sitting with you at night… it all reminds me that I'm alive and I need to live my best life. As a doctor, I'm well aware that this is the only life I get. I want to do it right."

Mary nodded, "Well, I do not share your sentiment that this is it for our souls, but I believe you are correct on your other points – so I believe this quote fits nicely right now."

Lauren considered the older woman for a moment, "Will you read it to me?"

Mary smiled and nodded, pulling her reading glasses down from atop her head to position them just below the bridge of her nose. She read with a soft voice, leaning in towards the blonde,

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Mary pushed her glasses back up atop her head and looked at Lauren. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she dabbed at her nose with a tissue,

"Child? What's wrong?"

Lauren looked up revealing eyes flooding with tears, "That was beautiful."

Mary nodded, "And very true."

"You've known that type of love? One that is patient and kind? One that protects, trusts and perseveres?"

Mary smiled, "Of course I have. It's in the love I have for my daughters, Child. When I left my Ysabeau, I felt as though my heart was quite literally being ripped from my chest. The first week with the Agent, I tried to get back here five times. He finally put a security detail on me. I spent several nights locked in a safe room. They gave me one book."

"Let me guess. A bible?" Lauren asked.

Mary nodded, "I was so angry at that those men. They had just confirmed all I believed to be true about the people of the Lower Forty-Eight. I felt that their giving a Bible to an Athabascan woman was an insult – that somehow they thought their religion was right and mine was wrong."

"So what happened?" Lauren asked, now curious. She propped her head up on her hand and listened.

"One day, I opened their book. I thought that if I learned their ways that I would be able to use that knowledge against them."

"And did you?"

Mary shook her head, "I found a lot of wisdom in the book. I took what worked for me and left the rest behind."

"Took?"

"Wrote down various quotes and verses." She handed Lauren the card, "This was one of them. It helped me to stay away from Ysabeau so that I wouldn't lead Big Jim right to her. Of course, I had no idea at the time that he'd already found her. I'd still love to know how that happened."

"Actually, Tamsin answered that for me. During one of her interviews, he confessed that he had never been sure that the woman they'd been shadowing was Bo. He actually had his men follow seven women in all hoping that one of them would lead to you. The night that he killed her team and chained her up in the Sheriff's jail, they stripped most of her clothes off. He told Tamsin he thought she would die of hypothermia. To be sure, they took off her hat, gloves and shoes."

"By doing so, she would lose a lot of heat to the cold, hard ground. Jail cells are dirt over permafrost. I'm sure Sheriff Thornwood knew that, so prevented hypothermia." Mary concluded.

Lauren nodded, "He's a good man. For some reason Bo gets very annoyed by him, but under it all, he just wants to protect her. In that way, she's more like him than she knows."

Mary grinned, "Because she tried to protect you in much the same way Dyson tries to protect her?"

"Yes. It's ironic that she doesn't see the similarity and frustrating that she doesn't understand why I feel smothered by her protective services just as she is annoyed by his."

"There is much truth in those words," Mary replied, "So how did Big Jim finally identify her? Did he say?"

Lauren nodded, "It was a unique birthmark."

Mary sighed, "On that back of her heel."

"Yes. I believe that's what she said."

Mary nodded, "Of course."

The older woman laid back, stretching her arms over her head once again. Lauren watched her for a long moment before she asked,

"So how's Rudy?"

"Her fever is finally down." The elder Dennis remarked.

"Good. That's good." Lauren said, rolling onto her back and pulling the covers over her shoulders.

"So, what are your thoughts?" Mary asked, starting the conversation.

Lauren reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone before placing it on the bed between the two of them,

"I hope that you won't think less of me, but when Bo began to talk, she was saying things that I didn't understand. I wasn't sure if it was the head injury or the virus. I… well… for the first time in my life, the doctor had to look away. I couldn't stand seeing her like that… in pain – not physical… emotional."

She wiped her eyes, but quickly switched out the tissue when she realized there wasn't a dry spot left on the thin paper.

"You expect too much of yourself, child."

"She's my fiancé. She's the love of my life. How could I just walk out on her?"

Mary chuckled, causing Lauren to look her way and ask, "I'm sorry, Mary. You find that funny?"

"That you would ask me of all people how you could walk out on Bo in her hour of need?" Mary replied.

Lauren tossed her head from side to side, "Well, I guess you do have me topped there. Still, I would expect more of myself. I've never been unable to treat a patient."

Mary shrugged, "I believe the doctor and the fiancé came into conflict. It was a situation you've never been in before and so you removed yourself from the situation."

"But I've treated Bo in life-threatening situations before. Why was this so different?"

"Maybe the answer lies in whatever you wanted to tell me about your phone." Mary suggested.

Lauren nodded, "As I said, I hope you don't think less of me but I knew I was too emotional to objectively analyze the comments she was making. I mean, at first I thought they were full-blown hallucinations but then she mentioned some things that I may or may not have overheard in her conversations with others. In an effort to have a starting point for the possibility of having to calm her down, I recorded her conversation for you, thinking that you may know what she was talking about."

"You… recorded her?" Mary asked, clearly not particularly happy with the doctor.

"She was speaking of Yuji and Yara. I thought they may have been… and this will sound strange coming from me since you know I am a believer of science and everything having a scientific explanation, but… well, I thought maybe they were Athabascan Spirits? That… if by chance I was wrong and… well… she was near death that she was seeing… your spirits? I know it sounds crazy and I couldn't believe I was thinking it at all…"

"Yuji and Yara were my lead dogs. They're long gone now, but that's who my Ysabeau was speaking of."

Lauren frowned, "But how… she said Yara retired and Harper was replacing her? Harper is too young…"

"Harper is the great, great granddaughter of Yara and Yuji is Harper's Grandmother. Harper replaced neither dog, so I'm not sure why Ysabeau would have said such a thing. Are you sure you did not misunderstand?"

Lauren hit play on the dictating app and the pair settled back and listened to Bo's half-conscious rants. The blonde struggled to listen to her fiancé's words a second time. They hurt enough the first time around, so she got up from the bed and left Mary to listen on her own.

She moved into the kitchen and started with the dishes, then wiped down the counter tops, finishing them off with her disinfectant cleaner. She then turned to the table and wiped it down as well, picking at a few shards of glass that must have traveled the distance from her earlier meltdown.

When she looked at the mess in the sitting area, she planted her hands firmly on her hips and sighed. She'd never lost her temper… never like this. Sure she got angry once in a while, but to become destructive? She wasn't herself which was ironic since she had been accusing Bo of the same thing.

"It seems unlike you to become destructive in your anger." Mary said from behind her.

Lauren cringed, thinking of what she must have thought when she entered the apartment. She was embarrassed that Mary had seen this, "I had a moment."

"A moment. I see. Well, after hearing my daughter's words, I'm sure you had quite a mix of emotions coursing through you."

Nodding, the doctor replied, "I'm not sure how to feel. I could rationalize it all away due to the fever, but so much of what she said seemed to ring true with her recent behaviors that I just couldn't manage to make myself believe it was due to the fever or head injury."

"I would agree. My daughter seems to have allowed her fears to overtake all reason." Mary replied, walking past Lauren to pick up three picture frames. She shook off the small pieces of glass that remained attached to the frame and set the empty wooden squares atop the sofa table.

"Mary, I don't expect you to clean up my mess. Please – leave it. I'll take care of it."

The older woman smiled, "Well, then I'm happy to find myself exceeding your expectations already. I would hope that you would accept a gesture of kindness after the multiple gestures of kindness you have shown me since my return to Alaska. The last three days alone you have deprived yourself of sleep to care for my daughters and so many others. Cleaning up with you is the least I can do. Besides, I've found myself quite useless in the clinic. I sit and stare at my Rudy and answer a phone now and then. Please. Allow me."

Lauren nodded, going into the kitchen to get a broom and dustpan to begin cleaning up the glass from the wooden floors. The pair worked together in silence for about twenty minutes before Mary went to the kitchen,

"I'll make some tea while you decide what to do with those pictures and frames. I suppose you'll need a new TV." She pointed at the shattered device before her eyes lingered for a moment on a photo of her daughter torn in half.

The blonde watched the older woman's eyes before she turned to walk to the kitchen. She felt ashamed that Mary had seen a picture of Bo torn in half by her hands. Really, the shame wasn't just that her future mother-in-law had seen it - it was that she had done it at all. Bo didn't deserve to have her photo desecrated in such a manner. It was childish – sleep deprived or not.

Holding the two pieces of the photo together, she stared down at the soft smile of the brunette,

"I don't think I realized until this very moment just how much you had given up for a life with me. You hate crowds, you hate socializing, you hate people… even more… you don't trust people. Look at you now. You've come so far and I failed to see that. Instead of seeing your progress, I see nothing but your failures… just like I did with Nadia."

Lauren moved to her bedroom desk and turned on the small photo printer. She flipped through the pictures on her phone until she found the original photo and hit print. Then went back out to the table and checked the remaining photos for damage. Finding several others, she returned to her bedroom and printed out those as well. For good measure, she printed the pictures they'd taken on the front step after the night they'd become engaged as well as a few other pictures from Boston.

In her closet, she had a few more empty picture frames given to her as gifts when the new clinic opened. She shuffled boxes around, quickly becoming desperate to find them,

"I know they're in here somewhere! Where are they?" She pulled box after box from the closet, "I need to find them. I need to fix this. I was so wrong. I need to fix this."

She felt a hand on her shoulder and stopped what she was doing. She stood and turned, surprised to see Kyle standing in front of her. Tears fell easily as her friend embraced her,

"It's okay, Lauren. Everything is going to be okay."

"Kenzi told you?"

Kyle shook her head, "I brought the Chambers kids to the clinic. They all have fevers and those sores you mentioned. They're with Doctor Mallie."

"So Kenzi didn't…"

"Oh, I saw Kenzi. Boy is she pissed at you… and she was your biggest fan."

"I had a moment."

Kyle smiled, "It's okay. Shannon told me what happened. I came up here to talk some sense into you… I mean, if that's what you want." She heard singing in the kitchen and turned back to Lauren, "I didn't realize Bo's Mom was here. I'll go and catch up with you later."

Lauren pulled back, her hands on Kyle's shoulders, "It's okay. Stay. Mary will be glad for your company."

Kyle shrugged, "Mary and I butt heads sometimes, so maybe it's better if I go. This is sort of a family thing. I stopped by to see Rudy. Shannon said her fever broke, so that's a good sign, right?"

Lauren nodded, "A very good sign, but…" Remembering her oath and HIPPA Laws, she stopped, "…it's a very bad case. While fevers are dangerous in children, the good thing is they tend to keep them sleeping. Now that she'll be awake, things are going to get tough."

Kyle nodded, "Well, why don't I go down there and keep her company while Mary is up here. When she comes back down, I'll come up and visit with you for a while – unless you want to sleep."

"I tried. I just can't get Bo out of my head."

Kyle gave a shrug and a smile, "Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?" She looked past her friend, "Cleaning out the closet? Damn that's a lot of boxes."

Lauren nodded, "They were gifts from the townspeople when the new clinic opened. They knew I'd lost everything, so gave me clothes, blankets, knick-knacks, kitchen utensils… all sorts of things. I was looking for picture frames."

Kyle nodded, "Yea, I noticed the walls were suddenly empty." She gave a nod towards the printer, "Hanging some new memories?"

The doctor shoved her hands in the center pocket of her hoodie, "Actually, I sort of lost my cool when I got home and I'm reprinting the old pictures. I need the new frames to replace the ones that I… threw across the room."

"Wow. Doctor Destructo, huh?"

"Yea, well I'd rather not think about the fact that I had that person in me. She was a lunatic."

Kyle smiled, "You don't remember me throwing my wheelchair through the bay window at the front of my house the first week I got home from the hospital?"

Lauren laughed, "I do, but you had just seen your scars in the mirror and had been told that you may never walk again. I think you had legitimate reasons for your… moment. Besides, it was an impressive show of strength. You tossed that heavy chair over your shoulder through the window while sitting in a recliner."

Kyle shrugged, "And tipped the damn thing back to the floor."

Lauren chuckled, "And then Tamsin refused to lift you back up until you apologized to Kurt who was going to have to replace the window. You were a stubborn one."

"Yea, well when you think you'll never walk again after spending most of your life on two legs, it's a tough pill to swallow. Sort of you having just learned that the love of your life is looking for a way out of your marriage."

The doctor froze, her eyes set on the box lid she was just about to open, "She is, isn't she?"

"Lauren, I think that was the fever talking. Of course, I was pretty shocked that Bo had agreed to lay down roots and get married. I mean… Bo Dennis… married. Blows the mind. Not in a million years would I have expected to see her in a committed relationship let alone a marriage. I mean, I guess here and there I thought it could happen when she was like – really old. But, if it was going to happen with anyone, I'm not surprised it's you. Maybe she's just having second thoughts."

She turned to face Kyle, "I believe the appropriate term is cold feet. Bo's had previously been quite warm. I just… I hadn't said those words to myself... that she's looking for a way out. I'd been playing Bo's words over and over in my head, but in the end – that's what it means, isn't it? You think she's looking for a way out. She said she wants someone to talk me out of marrying her. Well, I don't need a someone. I can do that all by myself."

Mary spoke from the doorway, "Sorry to eavesdrop, but I don't believe Bo wants to talk you out of marrying her. If I could offer an opposing point of view to your friend's, I believe Bo thinks that if you marry her, you'll die because she truly believes she's cursed. There's a big difference between Kyle's interpretation of my daughters' words and the root of where those words come from. I'd thank you both not to make her out to be a bad person. She's been nothing but good to you both."

She looked at Kyle and practically spat the words, "You're walking because of Bo's support. Your business survived because of Bo's support. Your business is thriving because of Bo's support and reputation. Don't forget it."

The older Dennis turned and walked away, leaving Kyle and Lauren standing there, staring at each other. The doctor moved first,

"Mary! Mary, wait!"

Lauren reached out and placed a hand on the woman's shoulder just as she reached the door. Mary turned, her eyes brimming with tears,

"I never thought you to be cruel, Doctor Lewis… nor Bo's friend Kyle. Please remember that my daughter loves you more than herself. Maybe therein lies the problem. She thinks your worth to this world is greater than her own. It's too bad that she doesn't realize that none of us would be here without her."

"Mary, I'm sorry. I just…"

"You just what, Child? My daughter finally spoke her truth and because you see her weakness, she's suddenly not worthy of your commitment? The first sign of trouble, you want to bow out? That's not marriage, Lauren. I hate to tell you, but you will have your moments of weakness in this life. Moments worse than this one will challenge your marriage. Do you think Bo would just walk away from you?"

Mary's finger pointed in the direction of the hotel,

"That woman you claim to love has endured more hardship than you've ever had to endure. It would have been so easy for her to continue to shut you and the real world out. You dragged her from the comfort of her isolation and silence into the crowds and noise of your world. I know how hard that is because I was my daughter. Do you think that living in this town is easy for me? Do you think I don't notice every sideways glance and whisper?"

Mary wiped her face with the back of her hand, her temper rising as she spoke,

"I am the 'other' woman to these residents. I am the half-breed… even though I'm not… who gave birth to Big Jim's 'bastard' children – all of whom were criminals! I am the Mother of Bo Dennis – the angry champion musher that no one quite fully trusts despite her ties to the spic 'n span, honorable, trustworthy Doctor Lauren Lewis – the white outsider who's the savior of us all! But it's okay, their mistrust is more than she deserves, isn't it? She does, after all, have a history of violence. A history of violence! Now, what's the truth? Is that violence rooted in her heart or in the need to constantly defend herself against those who intended her harm?"

She shook her head, "The people of this community all sided with Big Jim against her. They all believed his rhetoric about my daughter and when she saved them from him, did anyone apologize? Has one person in this community actually come forward and apologized to my Ysabeau for misjudging her for more than a decade? I see the invoices she provides – they're all over her desk! Have any of them thanked her for working for them for peanuts? No! Have you compared what she's charging you and Stephen to build that hospital against what others would charge? You do realize that building supplies are harder to come by and more expensive here than in Boston, right?"

Mary turned, looking at the bare wall, her hands on her hips, "Everyone in this community certainly held out their hands for those big fat checks from the settlement with Evony, didn't they? Did they board a plane to the east coast and deal with the anxiety of being in a big city? Did they even offer to do so? Did they sit through those meetings? How much more does my daughter have to give to these people? How much more are you – the woman who holds her heart – going to ask of her? Her blood wasn't enough?"

She moved her hands to her hair, "By the Athabascan Spirits I want to pull all of my hair out listening to you speak ill of her! You - the woman I am trusting with my daughter's fragile heart! You must truly believe yourself superior to her to be able to blithely cancel wedding plans with your sickly, unconscious fiancé because her words – spoken from unconsciousness - hurt your fragile, sensitive ego. I thought a physician of your stature would be above judgement. I thought a woman who claimed to have found the woman of her dreams would understand that love requires an unconditional heart. I would have thought that you – of all people - could be patient with the woman who loves you more than anything in her world!"

She paced the room, shaking her head,

"Ysabeau chose therapy to be a better woman for herself and a better woman for you. It has opened more old wounds than you could imagine she holds… wounds which – if left buried and scabbed – would have allowed her to continue to ignore these fears you seemed to loathe so much. But you suggested therapy and she valued your opinion – in part because she believes you to be the wiser. Now, as she works with her therapist to try to reconcile the woman she became out of past necessity, with the woman she must be to give you a life in which you have very little to sacrifice… you want to walk away."

Mary shook her head, turning her back on Lauren again, "You wanted her in therapy. You got your way." She turned to face the doctor again, her finger extended, "But now, you need to deal with the consequences of that request. Therapy has brought her greatest fears and memories to the surface and she's struggling to deal with them. Funny, isn't it? How the things we do for those we love can sometimes cause us the greatest harm."

Mary took a deep breath, "From where I stand, Ysabeau has asked for two things – that you make your life here in Alaska and that you stay safe so that you have a future together. I ask you, Doctor Lewis, exactly what are you willing to sacrifice for the love of your life? Is giving her time to allow her to find her strength, courage and confidence again too much to ask?"

Lauren spoke, "No! I mean, yes I'm willing to give her that time. That's why delaying the wedding is…"

"Delay? And the next time Ysabeau needs time to process something or you need time to process something, what will you put on hold? There will always be things to work through in relationships, Child. I expect that is what your ex-wife Nadia was trying to say at the point where you decided to stop making allowances for her needs, instead putting your own needs first."

"That's not fair." Lauren replied.

"It isn't? And is how you are treating Ysabeau right now fair? You speak of her fear like it is some sort of disease that needs to be cured before you will marry her? And instead of fear, if it had been cancer would you have put the wedding on hold to see the outcome before agreeing to marry her?"

Lauren hung her head as Mary looked past her to Kyle, "And if you wish to call yourself a friend, maybe you should remember to speak to Bo's fiancé as if Ysabeau were present in the room."

The older woman tossed Lauren's phone on the couch, "You should listen to that recording again and realize that she wants you to give up on her because she's willing to be miserable and alone for the rest of her life to keep you safe from her curse. She loves you so much that she would rather give up her own happiness than see harm come to you. Take note – she's not willing to give you up on her own. She wants you to walk away and look… you've taken the first step by canceling the wedding. Perhaps her fears are centered in your doubt of her as a mate. Perhaps her worry is based in her fear that you are not sincere in your commitment to her. Perhaps – Doctor Lewis – that strength and courage you seem to wear is more a mask than the real you. Just maybe, you're afraid too."

The woman exited the apartment, slamming the door so hard that it startled both women. It took only a moment before Kyle spoke,

"Don't worry about her, Lauren. You're not wrong about Bo. She's off lately and if she's not the woman you fell in love with, you've got to figure it out. I mean, you two haven't even been together for a full year. There's no need to rush into things. Maybe Bo really does have cold feet. Maybe you're using this as an excuse not to get married because you're really not ready. I mean, you did just get divorced. Maybe you have an itch to play the field."

Lauren's brows knit together, her eyes narrowed and her jaw tensed, "Seriously? That's what you're going to say to me right now?"

"What?" Kyle laughed.

"This isn't a joke, Kyle. This is serious. My relationship… my life with Bo is at stake here."

Kyle waved her off, "The big lug knows you love her. She's lucky to have you. She'd be crazy not to marry you. She'll never do better."

"Do better? What, because I'm a rich doctor?"

"Seriously? Come on, Lauren. The two of you are the biggest Cinderella story ever and we all know those are just fairy tales."

"Fairy tale?" Lauren asked, her eyes wide with disbelief at her friends' words.

Kyle smiled, drawing the imaginary banner in the air, "The backwoods musher with the murdering Father who doesn't even have a high school diploma, meets and marries the wealthy socialite, Yale graduate, world-renowned doctor from Boston who drops everything to be here with her? I mean, it's got Hurlmark movie written all over it. It would make more sense if you ended up with Doctor Mallie. That woman is hot and she's your equal!"

"I think you should take Mary's advice. I'd like you to leave, please." Lauren said, staring down at the photos on the table.

"What?" Kyle asked.

"I said, get out."

"Lauren…"

"Get. Out."

"Lauren, I'm just trying to keep it light. You don't have to be so serious about all of this right now. Bo's not even conscious and…"

"Kyle, I'm going to tell you one more time. Get. Out. Get out of my apartment. Get out of my clinic. Get out of here right now before this balled up right fist does something I'll regret. Go!"

"Right. Okay. Well, if you need anything…"

"I'm fine."

"Right." Kyle said, walking to the door.

Lauren stood there, her eyes moving back to the torn photo of Bo, "I'm so sorry."

She picked up her phone and dialed, praying for her friend to answer. She didn't even know what time it was.

"Lauren?"

"Faith. I'm sorry. I don't even know what time it is. If you're busy or sleeping…"

"Lauren, what's wrong?"

The tears fell as Lauren sat at the table, her fingers tracing the jagged edge of the photo, "I'm a mess."

"Where are you?"

"In my apartment above the clinic."

The blonde heard rustling, "I'll be right there."

"Faith, you can't! The weather…"

"It's okay, Lauren. I'm in the clinic. I came in on the train for lunch and got stuck here. I saw a pamphlet over at the General Store and thought I'd come over to see if I could help with administering vaccines. They put me to work answering phones instead. They don't ring much."

There was a knock at the door. Lauren rushed to answer it. Pulling it open, there was Faith, phone still to her ear,

"Actually, they don't ring at all. I think they might be dead because of the storm. It happens."

Lauren laughed with her friend, stepping back so she could come inside. The younger doctor waved her to the table where Faith took the seat Lauren had previously occupied,

"Oh, dear. You are a mess if you did this."

Lauren rolled her eyes, pouring the tea that Mary had made, "This should still be hot."

Faith wore a knowing grin, "Yes, Mary told me there was hot tea up here if I wanted it."

"You saw her?"

"Yes."

"Did you talk to her?"

"Yes. She is a patient of mine. Did you know she took psychology courses through the University of Hawaii? Smart cookie, that one."

"I didn't know that. Does she have a degree?" Lauren asked.

"Mmmm… this tea is exceptional." Faith smiled, taking another sip.

"She does have a way with teas." Lauren agreed.

"Yes, Mary has a bachelor's degree in Cultural Anthropology and Development Sociology."

"Really?" Lauren asked, shocked that this information was not known to her.

"Yes and for your information, she gave me permission to share that with you months ago under the condition that it be carried under your requirement for doctor-patient privilege since she is your patient now… from what I understand."

Lauren huffed, "Why would she not share that with Bo?"

"Now, Lauren… you're a smart girl. You can't figure that one out knowing Bo's history?"

Lauren closed her eyes, feeling the full weight of the secret she was now bound to keep, "Bo wanted to be the first person in her family to go to college. She didn't even get to finish High School because she left to find her Mom."

Faith nodded, "And Mary went to college when she found herself alone, raising a child in Hawaii with no support system. She thought the degree would help her find a better job, but where they relocated her for witness protection… well, let's just say it did not allow for many employment opportunities."

"Where were they all of these years?" Lauren asked.

"A remote island owned by the Federal Government. Everyone who lives there works for an intelligence agency or is in witness protection."

"So Rudy's friends were…"

"Federal Agents, yes."

"I didn't realize…"

"She may as well have been in prison. But, as Mary says, the view and food were both much better. Rudy had a school and a friend her age."

"But he went to a new school."

"His family was released from witness protection. His family was forced from the island back to their home. Everyone involved in their case was either dead or jailed for life."

Lauren nodded, "I see. It's hard to believe that a world like that exists."

Faith shrugged, "Well, we're living it right here. It just doesn't seem so because you're in it."

"I suppose."

"So, what can I do for you?"

"What did Mary tell you?"

"You know I can't tell you that, Lauren."

"Can you tell me the parts that involve my behavior, so I don't have to repeat them?"

Faith chuckled, "You don't want to admit your own misgivings?"

Lauren sighed, "Fine. I said I was going to postpone my wedding."

"Interesting."

"Interesting?"

"You said your wedding. Aren't there two people involved in that decision?"

"Bo's unconscious."

"And you're here in your apartment?" Faith asked.

Lauren stood and walked to the sofa, grabbing her phone and laying it on the table between them. She pulled up the dictation app, clicked the recording and hit play. She lowered her head onto her folded arms, listening once again to Bo's words. The more she listened, the more she heard the pain in her fiancé's voice – not to mention the congestion in her breathing. She's been so focused on her words that she had missed it.

The recording ended and Lauren picked up the phone, calling Shannon, "Excuse me for a moment, Faith."

"Of course."

The elder woman watched while Lauren ran through a pulmonary check with her nurse. Sure enough, there was fluid in Bo's lungs, but her fever was down to 104. It was still high, but it was much safer. She told Shannon it was time to transfer Bo to the clinic. Shannon explained that she had already made that determination and that Kurt was on his way to pick them up. The nurse also began to explain that Kyle had been to the hotel, but Lauren cut her off and asked her not to discuss what had transpired during Bo's physical examination with anyone except Mary. She was family and the only proper recipient of information received by a patient. Lauren was sure that Shannon got the message as she called her by her title and not her name.

Lauren hung up the phone and turned to Faith, "I was so caught up in what Bo was saying that I missed the sound of the congestion in her lungs. She could end up with pneumonia because I didn't start her on an antibiotic sooner."

"What matters is that you caught it and your nurse will now treat it without further delay." Faith reassured.

"I don't deserve your kindness right now, my friend. I've treated Bo horribly and she's not even awake to defend herself."

"Why do you think that is?"

Lauren shook her head,

"Her words." She replied, spinning her phone around on the table before gripping her teacup and taking a sip.

She stood and moved to the kitchen, opening a tin can that usually held some sort of biscuit or cookie. Luckily, it was full. Thank you, Betsy, she thought. If Patrick and Penelope had been the last ones to stay in the apartment, they would have left every cupboard and the refrigerator empty. She put some treats on a plate and carried them back out to the table.

"What words did you zero in on specifically, Lauren?"

"I've listened to that recording about five times now. The first one we've discussed. She's terrified of me crossing the lake. She told me of a story…"

"The bet?"

"Yes. You know about it?"

Faith nodded, "I encouraged her to share the story with you. I hoped that you would understand how the events of Ysabeau's past cause her to feel guilt and blame. Remember that she was a mere child when these events took place, so her memories and perceptions of her role in that man's death are skewed by her age and experience at the time. She had no adult in her life to explain that the choices of others are theirs to make. She knew the right thing, she tried to get them to make the better choice, but as we know, you can't reason with a drunk."

"But she still holds onto that guilt. How do we get her to let go of it?"

Faith smiled, "We don't get her to do anything, Lauren. That would be like trying to impose our will on her. We must accept Ysabeau as she is. For someone who lived such a secluded life, it is truly amazing that she carries such strong empathy for others. Would you really wish that quality away?"

"No, of course not. It's one of her greatest qualities." Lauren smiled.

"Then you must understand and accept that when others hurt, Ysabeau hurts. It's who she is. She just needs to learn to pair the hurt of others with the decisions they make."

Lauren nodded, "Because right now, she feels guilt or blame for their decisions if she can't stop them."

Faith nodded, "If she's present when they cause their own demise, she feels empathy-generated pain."

"What else gave you cause for worry?" Faith asked.

"She didn't finish her question, but she said she wished she was worthy and shortly after she was talking about how family made her weak. That I thought she was weak. I took offense to the comment right away rather than realizing my part in it. Listening to it now, I believe that my talk about her being fearful is why she thinks I believe she's weak."

"And is that true?"

Lauren shook her head, "She got Rudy across a snowswept trail that was higher than the dogs and easily up to her knees. She did so with ingenuity and courage. I don't think that I could have gotten Rudy here. I think I would have stayed home and treated her."

"Ah, but you have the skill to do so."

Lauren nodded, "I could have talked Bo through it, but she doesn't think that way. She will always protect those she loves."

"Another admirable trait as long as it's paired with a calculated and educated risk."

"In this case, she rigged a grate that would plow the trail so they could make it through. I believe she did so because she was carrying precious cargo. If she'd been alone, she probably wouldn't have taken as many precautions."

Faith shrugged, "From what I understand of the conditions, if it had been only her and she had to get to you, I believe she would have used a snow machine until she could go no further, than used her snow-shoes the rest of the way in."

Lauren looked up, "You talked to her?"

Faith smiled, "Bo had called me seven times since dropping Rudy off at the clinic."

Lauren laughed, "She was driving you crazy?"

Faith scowled, "Not at all. As she put it, she had a lot of time to kill, so wanted to take advantage of some extra appointment time if I was available. Since I was snowed in, I was more than happy to have sessions with her as she wished. They were quite productive in that we progressed through many of her past memories. They're coming much easier now, so with some quiet time or sleep, many will now come to mind. Of course, it can be quite overwhelming for her to process them since sometimes they come in rapid succession."

"She has only talked to me about one or two. There are more?"

Nodding, the therapist explained, "I will always encourage her to share them with you, but she cannot do that until she has processed them herself. You will likely have an opinion about what happened and to avoid your opinions becoming her opinions, we must be sure she gains truth and perspective of each one before she shares."

"She doesn't trust me to…"

"Child, this isn't about you and it isn't about Bo trusting you. This is about Bo's life story. About her understanding of her past and what has happened to mold her into the person she is today. You are not a part of that past. You are merely an outside listener whose only purpose should be to understand the stories and how they helped to shape the woman Ysabeau is today."

Lauren was silent, so Faith continued, "You had a mother and father who did not show you much love and attention. We've discussed and agreed that this is likely the reason you sometimes fail to show Bo the love and affection you feel inside. Bo had the love of a strong mother as a child, but then lived a little more than a decade alone, isolated from society. Physical contact is necessary for human development. While you spend most of your days not making meaningful contact with patients as it is not considered professional, you have held a person's heart in your hands. That must bring very powerful emotions forth if you stop to think about it."

Nodding, the blonde agreed, "That is very true, but my mentor taught me to be mindful of treating the heart like the machine it was in order to remain focused on the task at hand. Keep emotions out of it and do the job. There's time to feel when the job is done."

Faith cocked her head to the side, "And if Ysabeau was a surgeon, do you think she would be capable of separating emotions from the job?"

Lauren smiled, "No, I don't."

"I agree. You speak of separating the two, but yet when you're driving your sled, you speak to me of the fear you have of the unknown."

"Not so much the unknown as the not knowing what to do about the unknown."

"Such as?"

"A bear attacks. What do I do? I've never been in that situation before."

"So you get emotional. Would you say fear is attached?"

"Of course," Lauren replied.

"Why?"

"I could die."

"But you know what to do. You carry bear mace. You carry weapons. Bo has reviewed what you should do. You witnessed LJ dispose of a bear in your presence."

"I suppose not having done it makes it harder."

Faith nodded, "Bo has never had a family. Now she does… and she loves them. Do you suppose having one now makes it harder for her not to fear losing them?"

Lauren nodded, "Yes, of course."

"And she has never been in love… not like this. How much does she have to lose?"

Again, Lauren nodded, "I suppose from her point of view, a lot."

"If you ask her, she'll answer everything. She has everything to lose. To her, losing you would be the equivalent of death. There would be reminders of you everywhere because you are now a part of… as she says… her life's landscape."

"She said that?" Lauren asked.

Faith smiled, "Your Bo is a very creative woman. Have you ever really looked at the woodworking she does? It's art, Lauren. She views the world around her as a big piece of art. Living in the scenery she's lived in all of her life, I can't imagine you could see it any other way. Each day she awoke to a massive painting hanging below the sky. She never had four walls around her – only the open air. I believe it's what makes her such a great Musher. Her ability to read the land or a trail… to see a bear where I only see trees… to see an eagle perched, hidden in a tree, well, her ability to read is simply unmatched. I suppose it's difficult for the likes of us to imagine what she sees, let alone understand."

"I've never thought of her life that way." Lauren replied.

"And until I had her close her eyes and describe her home, I had not thought of it either. What I would describe as a barren wasteland of ice, she describes as warm and familiar."

"Because she associates memories with the land she travels."

"Not just memories… feelings… deeply-seeded emotions."

Lauren nodded, pondering Faith's analysis of Bo's mind until the other doctor slapped both hands onto her thighs and pressed further, "What else in that recording has you concerned, Lauren?"

"She says 'I am a curse. A wicked, dark curse on her family, sired by a man who was pure evil'. She thinks she's talking to her Mom and she tells her that his evil has lived in her for years, then confesses to killing a man."

Faith nodded, "Yes, the gold mine story. She was exonerated of those charges, by the way."

"She was?"

Faith nodded, "The other man she had mentioned that she had driven into the creek? That was her younger brother. He reported the incident and told them that the woman was innocent – that his friend had suggested robbing her and dumping her body."

Lauren scowled, "He did care for her."

"Apparently. I believe that he tried to look out for her in the early years before his Father had him good and brainwashed."

"Does Bo know?" Lauren asked.

Faith shook her head, "Not yet. That was a recent memory. I had a friend from Canada track down the story since there was a death involved."

"So, about this idea that she is cursed and has evil living inside her?"

Faith nodded, "You mentioned that she said he was pure evil. In actuality, she says he 'is' pure evil. Big Jim is dead and gone, but he is alive in Bo's memory – past and present. This is classic PTSD."

"She has PTSD?"

"Of course, Lauren. You don't see the signs? Her fears are absolutely rooted in the trauma she experienced at his hands."

Lauren shook her head, "How could I not see that?"

"She did mention that you believed she had it."

"After the incident at the Iditarod, yes. But from her childhood? I hadn't thought that it went that far back."

Faith shook her head, "Ysabeau has had a life filled with one trauma after another. The more she remembers, the more she realizes that she's never been able to just live and relax unless she was alone with her dogs on a trail in the mountains. Recognizing that fact, makes her more comfortable alone and off grid since animals have always been part of the painting or her friends. Humans have always been the threat... the predators in her life."

Lauren nodded, "And now, she's surrounded by more humans than ever."

Faith nodded, "Imagine the small fish in a large body of water filled with sharks."

Lauren nodded, "Always waiting to be breakfast."

"Or lunch or dinner or a midnight snack. Ysabeau is always on high alert just waiting for the next shoe to drop. For Bo, when the next shoe comes, she remains on alert."

"In her life, there's always been another shoe." Lauren deducted.

Faith nodded, offering further explanation, "It's been raining 'other shoes' her entire life. They just keep coming. She has never had a sense of peace and training her mind to expect peace rather than a threat is going to be a challenge at best."

Lauren heaved a big sigh, shaking her head as she traced the picture of Bo, "So what about this curse?"

"I believe that's tied to her Athabascan faith. She may not have been consciously or actively practicing her faith all of these years, but the lessons are in her."

"Can you tell me more about the beliefs?" Lauren asked.

Faith nodded, "Of course. For a time, it was believed that humans and animals were one. When their physical forms were separated, they believed the animals did not have a spirit but a Yega that would guide their actions. It was believed that if a hunter made an unnecessary kill and did not show respect for the animal that was killed, a member of his family would be cursed."

"Oh, no." Lauren replied.

Faith nodded, "According to Mary, Bo overheard many conversations between her Mom and Jim when she was younger about his failure to properly respect a kill… an animal kill. Mary would try to shelter Bo from the conversations but Bo's grandmother was apparently a very outspoken elder when it came to her son-in-law. She believed that – since the boys did fine with trapping and hunting that the curse would fall to Bo. It is Mary's belief that this story – whether conscious of it or not – has remained with her daughter all of these years."

Lauren shook her head, starting to think, but Faith had more bad news,

"Keep in mind that Big Jim also took human lives or additional improper kills…"

"Human and animals shared one spirit…"

"Yes, so that just adds to the power of the curse. Now that Big Jim is dead, Bo believes his spirit would settle in her as the recipient of the curse."

The blonde shook her head, "I didn't see any of this coming."

Faith shrugged, "How could you? Even Ysabeau isn't sure what she believes. Her Mom has come back and with her, the memories of native teachings. She's trapped between the believes of her adult life and those of her childhood. One thing is now very clear - Bo still believes some of her lessons. For example, she has always practiced respectful hunting and trapping. Have you seen her sit in silence over a kill?"

Lauren nodded, "I went with her to empty traps a few weeks ago. She followed the same steps at every trap, no matter what the animal or how it would be used. Honestly, I wasn't paying much attention to that part. I was more worried about what was behind us."

Faith laughed, "That was your own anxiety about those bears you fear. Imagine feeling that every moment of every day that you're around humans."

Lauren shook her head, "I couldn't wait to get back on the sled. Bo said the dogs can outrun a bear."

"Usually. It depends on the load and how many dogs you're running. Is there anything else you can remember about Bo's trapping, hunting and fishing?" Faith asked.

Lauren looked up, "The fish in the mouth."

Faith scowled, "A fish in the mouth of an animal is a sign of respect."

"The bear… when she was clawed. She said if it died, she needed its eyes and something."

Faith nodded, "Women are not permitted to touch or hunt a bear. When it is killed, their eyes are to be slit and their paws cut off so that its spirit – or rather its Yega - cannot see to run away."

"O-kay." Lauren said slowly, "So if she believes in this curse, it will likely be difficult for her to believe that she's free of it unless there is some sort of ritual or something to release her, yes?"

"It's likely." Faith replied, "Although both Ysabeau and her Mother agree she has never been the superstitious type."

Lauren shook her head, "She's using the same sled frame she built from the first Iditarod she won because it's a winner. All of the modifications they've made have required at least one piece of wood from the original to remain."

"So… more superstitious than I was led to believe." Faith replied.

"Apparently." Lauren replied, "So how do we kill the curse?"

Faith shrugged, "Mary said it can be done by killing the spirit animal or Yega of the person who caused the curse."

"And Big Jim's spirit animal is?"

"A Lynx… one of the animals that represents death."

Lauren shook her head, "Why am I not surprised?"

"On the bright side, if these childhood stories of her Athabascan legends are the thing spearheading her belief that she's cursed and the ceremonies are conducted properly, this could help."

"So why haven't you done the ceremonies?"

Faith lowered her eyes, "You're aware of Selene's roll in what happened with Big Jim?"

"Yes, of course. Bo sees it as the greatest betrayal of her life."

Faith nodded, "She betrayed Mary as well, so Bo's Mother is not welcome the Point Siku community. In order to do this, they will have to return to their people on the North Slope where Mary will likely be welcomed… or at least tolerated."

"And I suppose the weather we're having here is going to make travel to the North Slope treacherous at best." Lauren concluded.

"I'm afraid so, but Mary is prepared to do whatever it takes to make the journey. I believe Bo wants to go as well, but she's concerned about how you will receive the news. She was also concerned about some potential family cardiac condition? She would not go into detail."

Lauren nodded, "There is no way that Bo will be able to make that journey right now. Even if she could, she's highly contagious. The villages up North couldn't handle an outbreak like this. They don't have the medical facilities and with the weather…"

"Lauren, relax. Honestly, I'd forgotten about the big picture until you reminded me Ysabeau was highly contagious," Faith sighed, "Hopefully you've gotten ahead of this. If not, Stephen told me you had hired a few of the doctors I sent your way."

Lauren smiled, "We've got almost a full hospital staff hired for September. Some were anxious to start, so we've brought them on here and in a few other clinics along the rail line."

"That's great work." Faith smiled.

Lauren nodded, "That's Stephen and Betsy. Those two don't miss a detail."

Faith grinned, "So the 'boomer' generation is not as useless as the young ones believe."

"Well, the young ones are young – that's why they only see their side of history. One day they'll learn all that our generations have done well. They'll also look back and see their successes… and those glaring failures as well." Lauren chuckled.

"I've never forgotten that idealistic zest for life we had when we were still in school. We were going to set the world on fire. We were going change all that was wrong with the world. What we didn't realize was that the more fires you put out, the more the fire finds wood to burn."

Faith smiled, but the lines in her face showed the wear and tear of a life's battles well-fought. Lauren could only hope that she had what it would take to live a life as well as her elder mentors. So much needed to change about medicine and healthcare. There were so many things that were wrong – things that even Stephen and his mentors before him had tried to change. She always had to remind herself – baby steps. One thing at a time, one day at a time. For now, she had a personal life that needed to find its way on to her priority list.

The elder woman pulled Lauren from her deep thoughts, "Lauren? I asked about this heart condition?"

Lauren shook her head, "Sorry. I was… distracted. I'm not at liberty to discuss the medical details, but I'm hoping to take care of that by the weeks' end."

Faith shrugged, "Mary could make calls to arrange a ceremony for the coming weekend if this family health issue works itself out."

Lauren tossed her head from side to side, "Possibly."

"Okay. I'll discuss the option with Mary and have her discuss the impact of this health issue on her plans."

Lauren nodded.

"There's something else bothering you."

Lauren sipped her tea, "Not really."

"Lauren Lewis, I know you well by now. Come on – out with it."

"I believe that in order for Bo to move forward from this curse, she will also need to solidify her belief system. She seems caught between the things that others have said, how she was raised and where she is now. I mean, being told you are a Pagan by those who believe in Christianity when you're not sure what either of those mean my bring up conflicting ideals."

"We haven't called her a Pagan, Lauren." Faith protested.

Lauren shook her head, "You weren't at the banquet after the Iditarod. There was a very rude, very Christian couple there who felt a need to shove their beliefs down Bo's throat. I don't know exactly what was said, but I do remember a rather nasty woman accusing Bo of dragging me into her 'den of sin'. I assumed she was referring to the fact that we're a lesbian couple, but they were defending Big Jim and… well, it's in the past."

Faith smiled, "Apparently not."

"I just hate that Bo has had to put up with these people all of her life! I just want her to be free, but she seems bent on keeping herself imprisoned by her beliefs and the lessons of her past. I'm concerned that she actually believes what Minerva and Sid said at that banquet."

Faith burst into laughter, unable to contain amusement, but Lauren wasn't laughing.

"You think this is funny?"

Slowly, the older woman calmed down, but her cheeks remained pink with excitement, "I'm sorry, Child but Minerva and Sid are notorious for their bigotry, hatred and intolerant views on life and love. They have their supporters – mostly from their congregation at their church, but even in that holy place, many speak out against their frequent clashes with others – particularly because what they preach is not what their faith teaches."

Lauren sighed, "I suppose that should make me feel better, but somehow it does not."

Faith smiled, "Lauren, as a woman who has been living as a member of the lesbian community for decades, I would think that you would have become a bit… numb to people like Minerva and Sid, no?"

"It's been a long battle. Sometimes it just feels so hopeless. I know we've come far in our society. I know that all of the slogans are out there, but sometimes if I feel like if I hear one more person say 'love is love' when probably half the globe doesn't truly believe it, I'll scream. Honestly, why does what I do in my bedroom matter so much to these people? Hell, nothing much has been going on in my bedroom or weeks!"

Faith's eyes went wide at the personal information she had just been given. She lowered her eyes, a smile spreading across her face as she spoke,

"So, I sense a bit of sexual frustration as well?"

Lauren's shoulders dropped, her head falling into her crossed arms on the table, "Fuck."

"I'll take that as a yes." Faith smiled, "It's perfectly natural to have a dry spell – especially with all the two of you are going through. You'll reconnect when the time is right."

"I've never felt as distant from Bo as I do right now. I don't know how to get through the walls she's slowly building. She's not giving me a door… or even a window. I don't know what to do."

Faith nodded, "Have patience? Understanding?"

"I know. I really do. It's just harder to do than to say."

Lauren shook her head, her hand going to her chest, gripping her shirt, "I miss her, Faith."

Lifting the picture from the table, she thumbed the cheek of her partner, "From the moment I first laid eyes on Bo, I felt a sense of… I don't know… connection, I guess? Somehow, I knew right then and there that I would love her. I denied it, but I knew it. I didn't want love…" she lowered her eyes, "… I'd given up on love as being something I could ever have in my life unless I gave up medicine."

She turned to Faith, "Before Bo, I had decided that medicine had to be my first and only love. I even told my first wife that she would always come second to my job. I was honest. She said it was fine – that she understood me and that on one could ever understand me like she did. In that end, it wasn't enough… I wasn't enough. And being second was never enough for her. It never could be – not for anyone."

"Tell me about that moment, Lauren. About the moment you first met your Bo." Faith encouraged, hoping the doctor could at least connect with the feelings despite not being able to connect directly to her mate.

She smiled, "Well, her energy as she stood up against three large men was exhilarating... and somewhat sexy." She blushed under Faith's gaze, but quickly shook out her thoughts, "But it was when she was showing Tosh her furs. Her eyes… those big, dusky brown eyes fell on mine. I suppose I can understand why some people see darkness in Bo's eyes, but I just felt… connected."

Lauren paused, her hand on her heart, "In that moment, something tugged at my chest and it just felt like I was… falling."

She looked up at Faith, her eyes brimming with tears, "I was just out of my element. I mean I'm this big east coast doctor who was the trophy child of a polished and posh high-society family – completely new to this land with absolutely none of the necessary skills to survive here and… with just one look, I was completely taken by this northwestern musher, trapper, builder and craftswoman from a broken family with a murdering father and a mother on the run. I mean, you just can't make this shit up, right?"

Faith smiled, "It is quite a story. But Lauren, that's what you have to remember. Stories don't end after chapter one. They go on and on. If the audience is interested and the author willing, there's always the expectation of a sequel because love endures, and the adventure continues… the adventure that is life."

Lauren nodded, "I just can't believe how jammed up she is over her beliefs. I had no idea they were having such a huge impact on her psyche. I mean, all of the discussions we've had about it, she always told me she wasn't sure what she believed. She practically mocked her Mom's beliefs. Now that her Mom is here, she seems to be escaping to that mindset again without really considering her more recent spiritual quest."

"Are you upset that she doesn't believe in science as you do?"

Lauren shook her head, "Absolutely not. I believe in science because… well, honestly it's probably because I was never spoon fed a religious discussion in my life. There were always scientific explanations for everything."

Everything?" Faith asked.

Lauren shrugged, "Even near-death experiences can be explained away by an event in the brain. It all adds up for me. But Bo is not a scientist. I do not expect her to believe in science, but I do believe that when people survive health scares, it's because they do have a belief – no matter what it is. They trust in science or some spiritual or religious base that helps them make their way through the difficult times. I want Bo to have that base but cannot help her to achieve it."

Faith nodded, "I suppose that's a conversation for us to have on another day and I can explore that with Bo when we speak again as well. Right now, she seems to want to pursue answers on many fronts. This ritual would be the perfect opportunity to raise that question."

Lauren nodded, "Thank you. I just want Bo to have as many coping tools as possible to see her through her recovery. I also want her to believe that with this idea of light and dark… of good and evil… well, that she is light, she is good… she is love. Everything that woman does comes from love."

Faith placed a comforting hand on the folded fingers of the young doctor whose eyes welled with tears that trailed slowly down her cheeks.

"I love her, Faith. I love her so much. I just… I want her to be okay."

"I know, Lauren. She will be. It will take time, but she will be." She sat up straight, giving Lauren's hands a pat before letting them go, "Okay, so that's taken care of… now, do you want to tell me what's really troubling you, Child?"

Lauren tapped her phone and slide the play bar to the chosen mark on the timer and hit play. Bo's voice sounded through the small space,

"You have to stop Lauren, Kenzi. She can't marry me. I'm a curse. She'll die if she stays with me. She has to go back to Boston. I'm not good for her. I'm not worthy of her, Kenzi. You have to tell her. I love her so much that I can't tell her. I can't let her go. But she could. She could walk away. She could let me go so that she can still save herself."

Lauren hit the end button. She didn't need to hear her departure from the room. She should have stayed. Mary was right. If you're going to marry someone, you have to stand by them – even if you don't like what they have to say – particularly if they're running a fever of 106 and are delirious. She felt such shame over her behavior. She cringed thinking of the fact that she actually told someone she was postponing the wedding. She should have kept those thoughts to herself. That was something that – even if she was doing so – should have been for Bo's ears first.

"Lauren?"

The blonde looked up to see Faith's smile. The woman always smiled. It was like she knew something her patients did not. Of course, she always seemed to have the right answers… too bad she made her patients find them for themselves. Just once, Lauren would like to have things the easy way… it couldn't hurt to ask,

"So, can you just tell me why I shouldn't be upset by what she said?"

Faith chuckled, "Oh, Lauren. Your do have a great sense of humor."

"Yes, well, I wasn't joking."

"Neither was I." Faith replied, "So, what about this statement has you bothered?"

"Seriously? She wants me to call off the wedding." Lauren replied.

"And it sounds to me like you gave her that wish."

"You heard?" Lauren asked, though she didn't really want to know the answer.

"Your friend shared it with one person and that was apparently enough for it to get around to the rest of the crew down there."

Lauren shook her head, "I can't let Bo find out I said that."

"So you'd like to start your life with Bo by hiding a truth? I thought the two of you had decided on honesty."

Lauren hung her head, "Okay, so I wish Bo wasn't going to find out what I said. I know she'll either find out from the grapevine or from me."

"Well, if you want it to be from you, then you'd better get hold of the tongues of your friends and family – and anyone else who may have overheard them before someone says something like 'Sorry about you and Lauren, Bo.'."

"Shit."

Faith smiled, "The good thing is, your fiancé truly is the most forgiving and caring soul I've ever met. Perhaps you should find a way to recognize what each of you bring to the relationship. I believe it's those shared characteristics that brought the two of you together."

"How's that?" Lauren asked.

"Putting my professional role aside, I will speak to you as a friend. This is purely observations I've made while dining with the two of you – and at times, Bo's younger sister – at my home. It appears that in times of strife, your shared strength sees you through. You fill in the gaps in each other's hearts, courage and intellect. What you don't know, Bo knows and what Bo doesn't know, you know. You bring logic and reason to the problem-solving process where Bo brings heart and compassion. Bo is an inventor – a builder, the creative side of your pairing. You are the analytical researcher and the fixer. She brings spontaneity and impulse. You do repairs for a living, so you always have solutions... planned, calculated solutions. You are her polar opposite, but in that way, you fit together like two puzzle pieces."

Lauren smiled, "I'm the salt to her pepper."

"Excuse me?"

Lauren chuckled, "It's something Bo's best friend told me a long time ago."

Faith nodded. She'd met Kenzi when she and Bo had a session over Kenzi's Saturday pancake breakfast at the hotel before Bo's trip to Boston. The elder woman had found her to be a fantastic study in human behavior.

"So, what now, my friend?"

Lauren smiled, "I suppose I should go see if Bo's transport came in yet."

"You haven't slept in almost two full days, Lauren."

The blonde shook her head, "I took two naps."

Faith looked at the holes in the wall where the pictures once hung, "Before or after you rearranged your home?"

Lauren shrugged, "I lost my temper."

"So that's what you called that?" Faith asked.

The blonde shook her head, "I don't know what happened. I was eating some stew, I spilled it, it burned, I saw a picture of Bo and just… lost it."

"I see. The cool, calm Doctor Lewis lost it."

"Completely out of character, I know but even I lose it sometimes."

Faith smiled, "I didn't say otherwise."

"But isn't that what you were implying?"

"No. I think that sleep allows us to balance our brain chemistry. You're short on sleep."

Lauren sighed, "I've gotten as much as I got during my Internship days. I just want to check in with her quickly. I promise I'll come right back up and sleep for a few hours."

Faith clarified, "You mean you want to go downstairs and see your Nurses and Mary to do some damage control."

Lauren shrugged, "Exactly."

"Be careful in your conversations with them, Lauren. None of this is of their doing."

Lauren nodded, "I know. This is all on me."

Faith nodded, "So, are we having that winter wedding?"

Lauren smiled, "We'll see where we land after I come clean to Bo. It may be her who cancels."

Faith chuckled, "Would you find relief in that?"

"What? No. Of course not."

Faith considered Lauren's response for a moment before she replied, "Ysabeau's responses are never easily predictable, but she'll see reason in time if she doesn't react positively at first. She may choose to put some of these issues of her past behind her before the two of you marry, but you will see her at the altar in time."

Lauren nodded, "I'll leave it up to her just as I have from the start. I'm in no hurry as long as I know that we're on solid ground."

"I believe you've already laid that foundation. You've survived the unthinkable as a couple… multiple times."

"The number of times the world has tried to rip us apart… you don't think it's trying to tell us something?"

"What something would that be, Child?"

Lauren shrugged, "That we're not meant to be?"

"I thought you weren't the religious sort? What entity in this world could rip the two of you apart? Isn't the choice of together or apart completely in the hands of you and your partner?"

Faith stood, carrying her cup and saucer to the kitchen while Lauren sat for a long moment. She stared down at the single cookie that remained on the extra plate, her eyes moving the paw print pattern on the dish before her eyes found Bo's picture once again. She sighed, standing to join Faith in the kitchen.

The pair enjoyed some light conversation, talking about the weather and when Faith would venture back to Anchorage until they'd finished cleaning up. Then, they walked down to the clinic together.

Lauren made a bee line for the Nurses' station where Shannon was now seated – a clear indicator that Bo was here. Faith headed over to Rudy's bedside to sit with Mary, carrying Lauren's permission to tell the woman that the Doctor had seen the error in her ways. Lauren would see Mary after she saw Bo, but first, she needed to put a stop to the gossip-spreading habit that her Nurses had brought to Alaska.

It was time for the three Nurses to realize that their disregard for the close proximity of non-family and friends to their conversations were putting the relationships of those they loved at risk for damage. She would own her part, but she wanted them to own theirs as well. She also wanted to make it clear that she would be ending discussions about anything relating to she and Bo until they had proven their ability to keep the confidence of others. While she trusted Carolyn with practically everything, she didn't want to put her in a position to keep secrets from Shannon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The conversation with Lauren's staff went well, the trio promising to do as much damage control as they could to prevent Bo from hearing about Lauren's little meltdown from anyone but her. They were going to make sure that everyone knew the wedding was on – details to follow from Bo's Mom in the near future.

For now, Lauren sat vigil by Bo's bedside, hoping that she would wake up. Her fever was down to 102.9, so Lauren was optimistic. Of course, the tradeoff was that the virus had progressed, and Bo was now covered in the small weeping bumps.

She was tired, but she was desperate to speak with her fiancé. To apologize and beg her forgiveness for her moment of weakness… for jumping to conclusions… for not seeing the truth beneath her fevered rant. Her heart ached for the damage she'd done without Bo's knowledge. Would she be able to forgive her?

She lowered her head to the blanket, her hand on Bo's and allowed her mind to drift to the first time she'd laid eyes on the beautiful brunette…

Flashback… Eleven Months Ago, Pop's General Store, Point Siku

"I'd say you're not too smart if you don't take your hands off of that old man."

"Dude, Tommy let him go. Dude, she's got a shot gun to your head."

The woman moved slowly to the side of the young offender, the barrel traveling to his ear, "I certainly hope the old man here is wrong and that you're smarter than you look."

In a flash, she pulled a knife from her waist, throwing it across the room, pinning the blonde man's jacket sleeve to the wall. She kept her eye on the man as she raised the butt of her rifle, pressing the large man's head to the wooden counter. Finally, Jon's Dad spoke,

"Boys, you don't know this woman, but we do. She is as native as native gets and I guarantee you that she's already reviewed the law and determined that she has every right to blow your friend's head off right now."

Big Jon added, "And she not only wouldn't hesitate, but would leave your bodies here bleeding while she finished her business and got on her way. Right now, you're holding up her schedule and she doesn't take too kindly to people interfering with her schedule. She's got traps to check."

She leaned down, pulling another knife from her waist and putting the tip to his chin to lift his head off the counter, "You hear that? I've got traps to check." She gave him a wink, "So, are you going to show the fine owners of this establishment some respect seeing as you're in their home or am I going to use the Alaska Stand Your Ground law to put you four gentlemen in a frozen Alaskan permafrost grave? Huh, boys?"

"Hu-hu… how many of those things do you have?" The young man asked, fear filling his eyes.

Lauren took a chance to look behind her, surprised to see that Big Jim and Jon both had shotguns trained on the other young men in the group. She suddenly felt like she was at a shootout at the O.K. Corrale. Maybe she should read up on knife and gunshot wounds… and traps? Was he talking about traps with teeth like she'd seen in movies when she was young? They were so cruel. How could this beautiful woman possibly kill helpless animals pinned in a trap. She sighed, collecting herself as she thought,

'Careful, Lauren. This is their way of life. He said she was native as native gets, so she must have been raised this way. Subsistence living, right? Isn't that what the article called it? But… natives call it something else. Oh well. Whatever it is, you can't judge these people. You have no idea why they live the way they do. Wait, watch and learn. If there's a better way, you can explain it when you invent it. She really is beautiful. She doesn't really look like a typical native Alaskan. Of course, there are many villages and the lineage of native Alaskans is very complex.'

Still, Lauren couldn't take her eyes off of the mysterious woman. She didn't like guns… hated them, as a matter of fact, but yet here she was, in a territory where they seemed to be as common as the toilet paper that had humiliated her less than an hour ago. This woman, however, was standing up for the owners of this store. Her heroism was not in question, but there was a darkness in her eyes that both excited and terrified the doctor.

"Thata boy. Good choice." The woman said, watching the four men retreat into a small group, "Now, are you the ditch divers?"

"Huh?" The blonde guy asked.

"The truck! Are you the idiots I watched skid off the road and flip your truck in the gulley on the side of the main road into town?"

"Uh. Yea." The blonde replied, now looking appropriately embarrassed.

The woman nodded, "You almost killed my dogs."

Big Jon moved quickly around the counter, "Now, Bo. I'm sure they weren't intentionally trying to kill your team. They're from the lower 48, Bo. You know how they are. They had no business being on the road, 4x4 or not. Anyone would have taken a dive. Just wrong place, wrong time. Now, what do you say you go back there with Little Jon and settle up for the furs. Your supplies are on a skid in the back. He'll help you load those too."

She eyed the group of men, "These idiots going to behave?"

"We'll make sure of it." Big Jon assured as he heard his Dad cock his pistol. He grinned at the boys, "Just so you boys know, that man over my shoulder can put a shot through the skull of a bear with that rifle with one hand at his waist while taking out a rabbit with the pistol in the other hand at the same time. Seen him do it myself. I wouldn't try anything." He pulled a toothpick from behind his ear and put it in the corner of his mouth, "Big Jim, you make that call to the sheriff?"

"You're calling the sheriff?" One of the young men asked.

The blonde man stepped up to the counter, "Now, I don't think there's any need for a sheriff, right, Big Jon? I mean… we got… your lady friend's message loud and clear… it's Bo… right?"

He turned to the trapper, offering a charismatic smile, but instead, she pulled her knife from her waistband,

"Don't you dare speak my name."

"Bo, really. It's okay." He nodded to the back, "Big Jim and Little Jon have them in their sights. I saw it from the mirror in the front of the store. They drew right after you. Big Jim called our boys…"

The doorbell rang and the sheriff and his deputy came in, handguns drawn. They quickly looked around, the tall sheriff coming to stand between Bo and the group of men,

"Lower the weapons, Bo. We've got it."

Hesitating for a moment, the dark-haired woman lowered her weapons, but kept a tight grip on them as she spoke through a clenched jaw, "Behind bars, Dyson. They belong behind bars."

"And that's where I'll be taking them, Bo. Now let me handle the law while you get back to making your trade and sale." He looked down eyeing one of the pelts in her bundle before giving her a nod.

She nodded back, taking the few steps to gather her bundle of furs, her eyes remaining set on the four men. Once she'd collected her things, she turned and walked back to Little Jon who was lowering his weapon at Dyson's non-verbal command. The sheriff then directed his attention to the intruders,

"Come on, boys. My deputy and I are going to take you down to the station. Looks like you've overstayed your welcome here." Dyson gave a nod to Big Jon who watched them walk out the door. He then looked over his shoulder at his Dad before looking around the shop for any damage.

Bo made her way to the back counter, her eyes landing on Lauren who was partially ducked down behind a rack of sweatshirts. Pausing for a moment, she looked down at the pile in her hands, then back up at Lauren before she placed the bundle on the counter. Looking at Little Jon, she spoke as she shuffled through the stacks of furs,

"Does she know sweatshirts don't stop bullets?"

Jon gave a chuckle, his eyes shifting to Lauren who flushed red as she stood, fumbling with her hands. The young man turned his attention back to the trapper, watching as she pulled out a massive gray, brown and black fur. She laid it out before Jon,

"Holy shit, Bo! You got a wolf? Damn!"

She didn't react, but calmly explained, "That one was kill or be killed. Luckily, I'm still alive."

"Gotta report that." Big Jim grumbled from the corner, his eyes never leaving his paper.

Likewise, Bo's eyes stayed firmly fixed on the young man, "It's already done. Report it to Dyson if you see fit."

Jon watched the corner of Bo's mouth twitch, a sure sign that his great-grandfather was getting under her skin… again. Nothing unusual, but he worried that one day, Bo wouldn't be able to hold her temper and someone would get seriously hurt.

"How much?" Bo asked.

"A lot! I've gotta weigh him, but I think we can agree that this guy was huge."

"Kind of like that bear you've got strapped to your Tin Dog out there? Mighty impressive." Bo nodded, her emotions still even, but Jon could see a smile in her eyes.

"Oh that? That was kill or be killed. The Doc and I are still alive." He laughed at his clever use of Bo's own words. He could have sworn he heard her chuckle, but he wasn't sure. Same old stern gaze, no turn up at the corners of her mouth.

He always wondered what she would look like if she smiled. When he was younger, he thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Since then, the ten-year-old boy's crush had been replaced with admiration and respect for how she lived and how she had survived. By now, he'd heard many stories from his family and the townspeople. He was sure a lot of what he heard was absolute trash, but some of the less ridiculous stories… well, he could imagine Bo doing such heroic feats. She was strong, brave and determined… everything he hoped he would grow up to be.

Now, as he stood here watching her sort out her other furs across the counter, he could see her getting antsy... agitated. Knowing how she hated to be kept waiting, he refocused on the task at hand,

"I can tell you that Dad will have to pay a bundle for this one, Bo. The Marten is awesome too. Let's go put them on the scale."

But Bo shook her head, her eyes fixed on Jon, "That the new doctor that was hiding in the clothing rack?"

Jon nodded, "Bo, this is Doctor Lauren Lewis."

"It's nice to meet…" Lauren began, extending her hand, but the trapper did not turn to acknowledge the doctor. Instead, she maintained eye contact with Jon,

"These two furs should pay any medical treatment I need for the year she's here. Agreed?"

Lauren moved to interject, but Jon's eyes went wide as he quickly shook his head. Lauren pulled her hands back, silencing herself as Jon jumped in to reply,

"I'm not so sure Doctor Lewis would know…"

Bo shook her head, "You do. Your word is good. Furs, plus the cost of the clothes your Pops makes for her. Start with the coat and hat. Those sweatshirts won't work up near Talkeetna. Hell, they don't work here in Point Siku. Have your grandfather make the clothes and I'll pay the labor. Next pelts I bring will be for gloves and boots. Should square the medical bills for me and my team. Agreed?"

"Her team?" Lauren asked, but again slammed her mouth shut, shoving her hands in her pockets when Bo's jaw clenched and Jon again shook his head at her not to ask,

"Agreed. Consider it done, Bo." Jon replied, "You still showing me how to set the traps this weekend?"

Bo looked down the counter to where Big Jim was shaking his head. She kept her eyes down as she gathered her bundles,

"Let's go weigh these. You tell your Dad to give me a shout if he's okay with you learning traps from me." She looked up at Big Jim, "Wouldn't want you learning something from an outlier like me without your Dad's say so, Jon. Not my place to say how you're raised."

She threw the bundles over her shoulder as Jon protested, his eyes traveling from his great-grandfather back to Bo as she moved towards the back room,

"Why do you do that? Why do you let my great grandfather push you around? It's not Big Jim's decision! You've been here for almost ten years now and you've always done right by me and mine. It was proven! I've known you all my life. Hell, you saved my life and everyone knows it!"

She spun on Jon, slamming him against the wall by his throat, "I did NOT save your life! You survived that ice all on your own!"

Bo froze when she heard the rifle cock. She dropped the boy, putting her hands up next to her ears as she heard the gruff sound of Big Jon's voice,

"Hands off my boy, Bo. You know I've always kept my door open for you despite Big Jim's thoughts of you, but we part ways if you hurt my son."

Lauren could see the trapper's face twist into a cross between a scowl and a frown. She was conflicted, but why, the doctor could only guess.

"I wouldn't hurt Little Jon, but he needs to mind his mouth. He's not helping things by getting involved with what's between me and Big Jim. He needs to mind his own."

Lowering the rifle, the man nodded, "I'll talk to him about that. Now, you best do your business and head on out, Bo. I thank you kindly for helping us out with those chee… those boys."

- End Flashback -

Lauren sat up, stretching her arms overhead. She arched her stiff back and then rolled her head in a circle to loosen her equally stiff neck. She looked at her watch, her eyes going wide when she realized she been asleep for five hours.

She looked towards Bo and the monitors. Her temperature was back up to 103 and she had even more sores, but everything else looked good. She took hold of her hand again, before focusing back on her face… her beautiful face.

She noticed beads of sweat on her brow, so took the washcloth from the bin of now tepid water and carefully blotted her face clean, sure not to pop any blistered skin. Bo hated having a dirty face. It was one of her biggest pet peeves. She also hated getting cuts and bruises on her face. Lauren thought it funny that a woman who wasn't the least bit modest or vain could get so upset over a small smudge or scratch on her chin,

"Not the face!" She remembered Bo saying when one of the pups got a little too close to her face and scratched her with those sharp puppy claws.

"You're awake." Came a voice from over her shoulder.

She turned to see Dr. Amelia Mallie walking past her to the opposite side of Bo's bed. She checked her vitals and recorded what she saw on her tablet.

"So, one of the nurses told me that you are my patient's fiancé?"

Lauren nodded, "Yes."

"I have not obtained consent from her Mother to talk to you about…"

"Seriously, Amelia?" Lauren said, her head cocked to the side.

The Doctor looked up at Lauren, "Um, my name is Doctor Mallie, please."

"Consent from her Mother?" Lauren laughed.

"According to HIPPA Laws, I cannot provide patient information. Doctor Lewis and I will not compromise patient records…"

"You have my consent."

Mary stepped up from behind the doctor and walked to Lauren, placing a hand on her shoulder,

"This is the woman who will make all of the decisions regarding my daughter's care." She paused for a moment, "And – if I'm not mistaken, she'll also make all of the decisions with regard to your employment here as well, yes?"

The young doctor switched her tablet to the crook of her elbow and placed her right hand in her pocket, "Um… you're the… you are the… you're Doctor Lauren? I mean, Doctor Lauren Lewis? The Doctor Lauren Lewis?"

"Yes. Who did you think I was?"

Amelia stuttered, "Well, I-I was… I mean… there are a lot of… I mean… Lewis is a very common name and I just thought that maybe you were… you know… a…"

Lauren leaned her head forward, awaiting a finished answer but when one didn't come, she finished for the other doctor,

"…another Doctor Lewis?"

Amelia lifted her hand from her pocket and tugged at the collar of her neatly pressed Oxford shirt, "I just… I mean, I thought you would be old…er. I mean… well, yes."

Lauren drew her lips back and shook her head, "Well, no. I am Doctor Lauren Lewis."

"I'm so sorry."

Lauren shrugged, "Amelia, I chose your name from a pile of applications that Doctor Archer gave me. He told me that he put your file on top of that pile because he was very impressed by you – not your records – you."

"Excuse me?"

Lauren smiled, "We all know you were first in your class at John's Hopkins, we all know that you finished a year ahead of schedule, we all know that you made every honor society and Dean's list you were ever eligible for since you were two. Amelia, I was you… or, I should say, I was your records. But the knowledge in your head does not make you a great doctor. Following the rules without regard for the relationships people share with your patients does not make you a great doctor. The diplomas and certifications and hours of endless work you did to get to where you are today does not make you a great doctor."

"Do you want to tell her what makes a great doctor?" Mary asked Lauren who looked up at the smirk on the older woman's face and played along.

"Yes, Mary. I believe I will tell her what makes a great doctor."

"Great. Because we would certainly hate to see you have to let another doctor go because they couldn't adapt to our way of life in this community."

Lauren held her laugh, "No, that would be difficult. We'd be shorthanded, we'd have more patients than beds, the virus would likely spread… it could get ugly."

"Very ugly, yes." Mary nodded.

Lauren smiled at Amelia, "Doctor Archer saw you in a Children's Hospital, dressed like Elsa from Frozen. You were handing out marshmallows, toothpicks and small pieces of black licorice to each child on the ward for them to build their very own Olaf's. You didn't go into their rooms to give them a treatment. You didn't go into their rooms to check their monitors. You didn't go in to prep them for a surgery. You just went in to give them a little fun. You didn't ask for money from the hospital to pay for the materials. You saw a need and you just did what it took. Why?"

Amelia was staring down at the foot of Bo's bed, smiling. She looked up at Lauren,

"There was a young girl named Kayla. I would have to say she was the reason."

"Sit. Explain." Lauren replied, waving to the foot of Bo's bed.

"It's against policy to sit on a patients'…"

She saw Lauren frown and took the offered seat,

"Sitting."

"Thank you." Lauren replied, "Now tell me about Kayla."

Amelia shook her head, "Kayla was born with little to no immune system. She had met the criteria for a human trial that would slowly build her immune system. Her parent gave consent and she began the trial. Every day, she would be wheeled – in her plastic bubble – past the children's orthopedic ward. She would ask us to stop so that she could watch them play for just a minute."

Lauren could see Amelia squeeze her eyes shut and swallow hard. The blonde knew she was on the verge of tears, but to her credit, she held them at bay and continued,

"One minute became two, two became three and before we knew it, we were picking her up fifteen minutes before her treatment so she could watch them play. The kids in the ward would write her notes and hang them on the windows. She would dictate replies to the letters to the nurses who would pin them to the appropriate note. The kids in the ward came and went, but many of them kept in touch with her after leaving the hospital."

Lauren smiled, "You gave her a social life."

Amelia nodded, "That's what her parents told me, but still – it wasn't enough. I wanted Kayla to be able to actually go into that ward under her own power and play with those kids."

"But you couldn't." Mary replied.

Amelia nodded once again, "Exactly."

"So what happened to Kayla?" Mary asked.

"The trial ran its course and when it was over, her immune system had, indeed, been improved but she was still at great risk for infectious diseases."

"That's unfortunate." Lauren replied.

Amelia nodded, "About three weeks later, she was released from the hospital. Her life returned to its normal routine, everything being sterilized before it was passed into her primary bubble at home, routine injections at the hospital allowed her out of the house in her personal bubble only now, she would stop by the orthopedic ward and play."

Mary smiled, "It's good that she had at least that in her life."

Amelia shook her head, "It wasn't enough… not for Kayla. One night, her parents heard a noise coming from the living room. The Father went to check but couldn't find anything unusual. He went back to sleep. In the morning, Kayla's mother went in to get her started and the door to the bubble was open. There was a note on her computer - 'I'd rather have one day being a normal kid than a lifetime living in a cell' – was all it said."

Lauren could see that this case – this patient – had been a life-changer for her, "And?"

Amelia shrugged, "They found her at the playground that morning surrounded by kids who were all playing. She was sitting at a picnic table, her head down and face smudged with dirt. She had a small cut on her knee from where she had fallen off a jungle gym. She was covered in dirt from head to toe and… she was smiling from ear to ear. Her Mom sat down beside her and asked what she was doing. She told her she was too tired to play anymore, so she was going to watch them play for as long as she could."

A tear betrayed the stoic young doctor's tough outer shell as she finished, "When she fell asleep, her Father picked her up, put her in the car and drove her to the hospital. We managed to keep her alive for a few days, but one of the kids must have had the flu. Seven days after her play date, she died. She made me promise… that when little kids are sick, to make sure they have fun too… because even sick kids deserve play dates."

Amelia stood, "If you'll excuse me. I have patients."

Lauren gripped her wrist, pulling her back, "Amelia, that is why Stephen thought you were the best. You and those kids… you did more than treat their physical bodies. You treated their mind and sometimes, the mind is the extra boost doctors need to help our patients heal. I agree with your patient Kayla, but she had one thing wrong…"

The blonde looked at Bo, giving her hand a squeeze, before adding, "Adults deserve play dates too."

Releasing Amelia's wrist, Lauren looked up at her once more, "In this town, keep it real. These people have no time for textbook doctors. If you don't know the answer, tell them you don't, but let them know you'll fight like hell to find one. The doctors and nurses on this staff – we're a team. No one is smarter than anyone else here, we're just more qualified at some things than others."

She nodded towards the nurses, "If you and I are in the clinic together and someone's heart stops, call me over. If someone comes in here with a fever and a rash, I'm handing them off to you. If I'm not here and a cardiac patient comes in, we can video chat and I'll talk you through it, but if my nurses are here, they can likely tell you what to do. They'll tell you when it's time to call me. Don't talk down to those women. They don't like it, they don't deserve it and they've been part of my surgical team since the first time I cracked open a chest on my own."

Lauren turned back to Amelia, "We good?"

Amelia nodded, "Yes, Doctor Lewis."

Lauren shook her head, "My name is Lauren. Don't ever call me Doctor Lewis unless we're in front of a patient."

Amelia smiled and nodded towards Bo. Lauren laughed, "A conscious patient."

"Who's not conscious?"

A groggy Bo spoke and all eyes turned to her. Amelia was immediately at her bedside, pulling her stethoscope from around her neck,

"Hey, sleepy head." Lauren smiled.

"You're right. I am sleepy, but who can sleep when you're barking orders like a boss."

Bo's hand flew up, gripping Amelia by the neck, "Don't you touch me!"

But Lauren had already gripped Bo's wrist and squeezed - hard, "Bo, let her go. Bo!"

"Ysabeau!" Mary shouted.

Bo released the doctor who stepped back, rubbing her neck, her eyes wide and filled with fear. Lauren turned to Amelia,

"You okay?"

"I… I think so."

Lauren sighed, "Amelia, this is Bo. Bo, this is Amelia. Doctor Mallie – the new doctor I hired?"

Bo laid back in the bed, her scowl still firmly in place.

"Bo!"

"What?"

Lauren shook her head at the brunette who sighed and looked up at the young doctor, "I'm sorry. I get a little… jumpy… when people touch me."

"Apparently." Amelia said still rubbing her neck. She looked at Lauren, "This is your fiancé?"

"Yes and my fiancé has been in some… life-threatening situations which have made her a bit jumpy. As a matter of fact, most people don't like to be touched without warning. Please remember to tell patients what you plan to do before you do it just as you would with a pediatric patient."

"Wait. She's a baby doctor?" Bo asked.

Lauren smiled, "She is a Virologist whose specialty is infectious diseases."

"So she's a scientist?" Bo asked.

Lauren shook her head, "No, she's a doctor just like me. I do hearts, she does the nasty critters that get into our organs, tissues, blood and body fluids."

Bo smiled, "She's a bear hunter, but she's looking for little tiny bears."

Lauren laughed, "I've never heard it put that way, but yes, I guess you could say that."

Bo looked up at Amelia, "So how do you plan to kill the bear I got in me?"

Amelia relaxed a bit, but kept her distance, "Well, since we started you on an antiviral called acyclovir, your fever has dropped out of the danger zone, you're coherent again and you're conscious so I'd say we've found the right… uh… weapon. I've also started you on I.V. antibiotics because the cut on your head was beginning to look like an infection was brewing."

"Cut? Wait… I unconscious? Why was I unconscious?"

"You were found on the floor of your apartment. It appeared as though you had hit your head on the radiator. That said, we're not sure if you were unconscious because of the head injury or because of the high fever. We treated you for both and… well, now you're awake so…"

"I'm good?"

"Yes."

Bo sat up, extending her arm to Lauren, "Great. Let's get out of here."

Lauren smiled, "Not so fast, Supergirl."

Bo laid back with a huff, "Worth a try. How long this time?"

Amelia gave Lauren a confused glance. The blonde smiled, "Bo is our resident risk-taker. She's a frequent-flyer of sorts and she doesn't do convalescence well."

"Yes I do." Bo argued quickly.

"No, you really don't."

"Okay. Well, tell me what that word means, and I'll tell you if I do." Bo replied.

Lauren laughed, "I can't tell you that."

"What? Why not?"

"I was bored and I read ahead on the word-a-day calendar. It's coming up on December sixteenth, so I can't tell you what it means."

"You read ahead to December! I'll never catch up!"

Lauren smiled, "Yes you will. You'll take the calendar with you on training runs so I won't have access to it. You'll be ahead of me again in no time."

"Excuse me. Word-a-day calendar?" Amelia asked.

The blonde grinned at Bo before she replied, "It's Bo's tradition. When she is out on the trails, she takes the calendar with her and tries to memorize every word before the big race."

"What big race?"

Bo looked at Lauren, shaking her head, "You really hired her to work in Alaska and she doesn't know that the big race is?"

Lauren laughed, turning back to Amelia, "The Iditarod. It's…"

"Omagosh! It's the biggest, baddest sled dog race in the entire world!"

Bo and Lauren shared a glance, Bo then looking up at Mary who smiled and said, "Another junky."

Amelia looked at Mary, "I don't know what you mean by that and I don't care." She looked at Lauren, "Just keepin' it real, as you asked." She turned back to Mary, "I'm originally from Minnesota and my grandfather was Canadian, so he taught me how to ride a sled when I was just a kid. He ran in the Iditarod and so did his father before him. Isn't that the coolest? I would love to get on a sled again! It's part of the reason I agreed to take this job. I guess I thought maybe I could have a piece of my childhood again."

Bo smirked, "Well, do this place a favor and don't go jumping on a sled without someone with you who knows what they're doing out here. In the last year alone, we've had enough sledding accidents to last a lifetime. Right, Lauren?"

The blonde slapped her fiancé who pouted and shouted back, "Hey! I'm convalescencing here!"

Lauren laughed, "Improper form of the word."

"Convalescensed?"

"Nope."

"Come on, Lauren! You can't leave me hanging like this. You know it will drive me crazy!"

"You've already been crazy Dennis! Talking up a storm and making not a word of sense when you had that fever."

Everyone turned to see Shannon approaching. Bo smiled, "I couldn't possibly sound any crazier than you when you're drunk."

Shannon laughed, "True. It's good to see you awake, Bo. You gave us quite the scare."

Bo looked up at Lauren, "You were scared?"

Lauren nodded, "Your fever reached 106.5, Bo. You were in bad shape. We had to put you on ice and open the windows in your apartment to get your temperature down."

Bo laughed, "You trying to turn me into an icicle?"

Shannon shrugged, "Kinda? We got you into a hypothermic state until we could administer the acyclovir and then slowly warm your body. Strangest idea ever, but it worked."

Mary looked at her daughter, "You're very lucky to be alive, Ysabeau. You have a great team here."

Bo turned to Lauren who gave a casual nod to Amelia, hoping Bo would understand. The brunette got the message loud and clear,

"So, you save my damn life and I half choke you to death, huh? I'm so sorry."

Amelia was still looking down at Bo's chart.

"Doc?" Bo asked, "You see something there that's going to make me worry?"

Amelia looked up, her eyes wide as she stared down at Bo, "You're… oh my… you're her!"

The other women looked at each other before Bo turned back to Amelia, "I'm who? I swear I'm not the Father."

Lauren and Shannon laughed while Amelia kept staring at Bo.

"Okay, little Doc. You're going to have to speak." Bo laughed.

"You won. You won the Iditarod last year. You won again. My great-grandfather said the trail was no place for a woman. He said a woman could never handle the Iditarod. My grandfather told him I could handle anything a man could handle. He and my Dad built my first sled. I was only three years old. My great grandfather was furious that they were going to put a little girl behind a team of dogs. He said women were meant to stay in the kitchen."

Bo laughed, "Then your great grandfather never met Mary Dennis."

Mary smiled, reach out to squeeze Bo's extended hand, "Bo was on a sled as soon as she could walk. I'm happy your grandfather and father didn't listen to their elders because they were right. A woman's place is on a sled."

Bo smiled, "So, are you any good?"

Amelia shrugged, "I haven't been on a sled in almost ten years, but I suppose it's like riding a bike."

"I wish people would stop saying that!" Bo replied.

Lauren laughed, "In the spring, you are going to learn how to ride a bike."

Bo smiled, "Mom, does Rudy know how to ride a bike?"

Mary nodded, "And a skateboard, surfboard and boogie board."

"Okay, I don't know what any of those are, but I can't have my little sister knowing how to ride a bike if I can't ride a bike."

"I can teach you, Sister!"

Bo looked down to the foot of her bed to see her little sister standing there, holding Kelly's hand. The young nurse smiled, "Someone wanted to see you, Bo."

"Thanks, Kelly." Bo replied as Rudy began to climb onto the bed, but she stopped, looking up at her doctor,

"Doctor Amelia, is it okay if I lay with Sister? I can make her better if I do. We have Sister powers."

Amelia looked at Lauren who gave her a nod, "Of course, Rudy. Just be very careful. Do you remember how much your scabs hurt a few days ago? Well, Bo's are like that now."

Rudy hesitated, looking up at the doctor again, "Are they on her legs?"

Amelia nodded.

"And her belly?"

Amelia nodded again, "She's pretty much got them everywhere, Rudy. Remember how we talked about adults getting them much worse than children?"

"Did I do that to her?" Rudy asked.

Amelia smiled, moving to take a knee in front of Rudy, "No, Sweetie. Remember we talked about the virus?"

"Oh! Wait!"

They all watched as Rudy ran off towards her room, Kelly following. Amelia looked at Mary, "What is she…"

"She's going to get the picture she…"

"Here! Here! Can I show Sister what made her sick?" Rudy asked her doctor.

Amelia smiled down at Rudy who was now holding up the drawing they had made together of the virus that causes Chicken Pox,

"Yes, you can show your sister." Amelia smiled.

Rudy moved to the side of Bo's bed where Amelia leaned down and whispered, "Do you want me to help you get up on the bed?"

"Yes, please. But not on her. I don't want to hurt sister."

Bo looked at Lauren while Amelia got Rudy settled beside her, "What is she talking about? I feel fine."

Lauren took a cotton swab and lifted Bo's hand by the fingers she had been holding. She pointed with the cotton swab to one of the weeping spots on her arm,

"Oh. My. Gross!"

Lauren touched the spot, "Ow-a! What the…"

"Language." Mary warned.

"That hurt!" Bo said, staring down at where Lauren was now swabbing around the papulae with an alcohol swab to eliminate any contaminants from the open sore.

"That will dry up and you'll have a scab like Rudy's." Lauren explained.

Bo looked at her sister, now seeing the small scabs all over her body, "Wait. I have all of those…"

"You have more, Sister! Wanna see? Kelly has a mirror. You look funny! You've got big white bumpy bumps everywhere!"

Bo looked up at Lauren, "My face?"

"Bo, they'll heal." Lauren assured.

"Not the face!" Bo replied, "Kelly, I want a mirror!"

"No, Kelly. She doesn't want a mirror. She wants to pay attention to her little sister." Lauren said, her jaw clenched as she nodded towards Rudy.

Bo sighed, "Show me what you've got, kiddo."

"What we've got, Sister. We shared just like Momma taught us! Sharing is caring!"

"Right." Bo replied, whispering to her Mom, "You'll have to explain that doesn't apply in this situation."

Mary shook her head, laughing at her older daughter as Rudy waved the picture,

"Bo! Bo! Listen to me!"

"Okay, Roo! Teach me."

"Okay, so this is what's inside of us giving us the weird bumps!" She handed Bo the picture which Bo turned and turned and turned. Rudy laughed, as she turned it right side up,

"This way, silly. But it really doesn't matter because this guy is round and he rolls over and over and over again making babies everywhere. The babies are born mean and they make the bumps and more babies and they do the same thing and we just get more and more bumps until Doctor Amelia gives us the bicycle drug and then we're all fine. See?" She said, showing Bo her scabby arms.

"Fine. Right." Bo replied, scrunching up her face at the sign of the scabs, as she looked up at Amelia, "Bicycle drug?"

Amelia smiled, "Acyclovir."

Rudy smiled, "It comes from a bicycle! See? The name is in the word bicycle. It's like you figure out words on your calendars. It's easy!"

Bo smiled, trying to hide her laugh, as did all of the other women, "So how do you feel, Kiddo? No more sick belly?"

"No more sick belly! Sorry I threw up in your sled basket."

Bo cringed, "No worries, Roo. I'm sure LJ cleaned it up."

Mary shook her head, "Nope. Kyle threw it out and installed one of the new ones you made. She said it fit perfectly, just as you'd hoped."

"But…"

"She re-installed the mount for the lamp as well. That little invention of yours just might have this one's life." Mary said, nodding towards Rudy, "The trail plow too. Very nice."

Bo grinned, "I suppose Kyle wants to sell both in the store?"

"She's already prepping the prototypes to send to your manufacturer."

Bo shook her head, "Always turning my ideas into money, that one."

Mary shrugged, "Well, she's good at it and you're good at the inventions. You make a good team."

Lauren's eyes dropped as she shook her head. Mary reached down and gave her free hand a squeeze. The blonde looked up at the older woman and sighed before Mary gave her a nod,

"Well, what do you say we leave these two alone to talk."

"Awww, Mommy! I just got here!" Rudy whined.

Amelia smiled, "And you need to stay away from sick people so that you don't increase your viral load again."

"My what?"

"I'll explain when you're back in bed." Amelia smiled.

Rudy turned to Bo, "Doctor Amelia is even a harder teacher than Mr. Ryder! But she says I'm really smart!"

Bo smiled, "Yes you are, Roo. You listen to Doctor Amelia. She can teach you a lot of things about those nasty creatures that make us sick. And guess what?"

"What?"

"Sledding is in her blood too."

Rudy looked up at Amelia, "Really?"

Amelia nodded, "Yup."

"Cool!" Rudy turned back to Bo, "I love you Sister. I'm glad you're awake."

"Me too, Roo. Do what they tell you, okay?"

"Okay. You do what they tell you too, okay?"

"Okay." Bo smiled.

"I mean it, Sister. You're even stubborner than I am."

"I will, Roo. Promise." Bo smiled.

"Keep your promises." Rudy said, holding up her pinky finger to her sister.

Bo hooked her pinky finger to Rudy's, "Always."

Amelia lifted Rudy off the bed, the little girl asking her to leave the drawing with Bo so she had something to remember her by. When they were all gone, Bo turned to Lauren,

"So, what happened while I was out?"

Lauren sighed, "Bo, there's something I have to tell you. You're probably going to be upset with me, but… well, you were… and I was terrified that you were going to die and… then you said those things and… and I just reacted and… I was wrong and… Mary said things to me and Kyle said things to me that made me want to strangle her and then… well, Faith brought a patient in and so she came up to see me because she heard that I was in a bad way and… we talked and she helped me to see a lot of things that I didn't see before and… I'm so sorry I ever doubted you and… I took it all back so everything is like it was before you became unconscious, but I just have to tell you."

Bo shook her head, "It sounds like you just told me there's nothing new."

"I wish that were true, but when I got emotional, I said something in front of Shannon and… well, you know how she talks and… I think Kenzi was there… maybe not… I really don't remember anymore but Shannon probably told her so she's probably ready to lose her mind and… well, let's just say I wouldn't turn my back on her right now because she'd probably stick a knife in it and… well…"

"Geez, Lauren. What the hell did you say?"

Lauren looked at Bo, "God, I love you."

"You said I love you?" Bo said, confused.

"No. I mean… I was saying that now. I mean… now that I'm past all of that stuff I was thinking and… no, that's not what I said in front of Shannon… and possibly Kenzi… and the big guys she had move you into the ice tub."

"Big guys? Lauren, you're not making any sense."

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"Lauren, what could you possibly have said that would get me so upset?"

"The wedding is off." The blonde blurted out, but immediately followed with, "But it's on again."

Bo's eyes traveled down to the blanket covering her body, her hand releasing Lauren's as she repeated the words over and over again in her head.

"Ysabeau. It's nice to see you're finally awake."

Lauren looked up to see Faith standing by Bo's bedside. She gave a small shake of her head and nodded towards the door to her apartment. Lauren gave a nod in return before standing,

"I'll leave you two alone. I love you, Bo. With my whole heart and soul. You are my everything. I'm so sorry my words have hurt you, but I hope that you know that they were said in haste in an emotional moment. I never meant them. I was hurt and well… I hope that you will forgive me. We said no secrets, so I wanted you to know the words were said. Full disclosure."

Faith watched Bo and, seeing no response to Lauren's words, she sat by her beside, taking the brunette's hand,

"Usually, I would want to have this chat as a couple, but seeing as we're in Lauren's professional setting, you and I will talk, okay, Bo?"

"Yes." Bo replied, her jaw set, eyes unwavering as they remained on the blanket covering her legs.

"I'll see you soon, Lauren." Faith smiled, "It's time for you to get some rest. It's been almost a week and you've had less than a days' rest. Go now. I'll wake you when the Nurses tell me they need you."

Lauren turned and walked away, stopping for a moment to chance one more look at Bo. The brunette had looked up when she'd done the math on Lauren's sleep. The doctors' eyes were red with tears. Bo hadn't noticed before, but there were dark circles under her eyes and she looked as if she had lost weight. It was Boston Lauren all over again.

The blonde released their gaze and headed for the other side of the clinic where she would head up to her apartment and try to get some sleep. Bo, on the other hand, had slept enough. She was wired and her skin burned. Sleeping was not going to be an option.

"So, Ysabeau, I would first like you to hear something."

She reached under the fold of the blanket and pulled out a phone, "I lifted it off of your fiancé while she worried over what you might be thinking about what she said."

"A pick pocket? Well, Doc, you never cease to amaze me." Bo smiled.

"I have many skills." Faith chuckled, "Now, show me how to work this thing."

Bo took the phone and entered Lauren's code. When the home screen appeared, she looked at Faith, "Now what?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean I don't know? What do you want to show me?"

"She made a recording of you while your fever was high. You were saying things that didn't make sense to her and she thought they might be of use to your Mother or to me in helping you to unravel your past since the names were not from your present… not that she was aware."

Bo frowned, "So Shannon was right? I was talking crazy?"

Faith tossed her head back and forth, "You know I'm not a fan of that word, but no, you weren't making a lot of sense… not to the average person who is not aware of your history. Lauren misinterpreted some of the things you said and she jumped to conclusions. That's why she felt she had to postpone the wedding. I need you to hear your words. So…" she pointed to the phone, "How would she have recorded your words?"

Bo scanned the apps, "Do you remember which one she pushed?"

"It was red."

Looking at the red apps on the blonde's phone, Bo went through them, "Pinterest is just stuff people make, YouTube is movies people make, that one is just news, that one is our movies and tv shows, that one is her doctor files, that one is where she sells old stuff and that one… well, it says voice memos, so…"

Bo hit the app, then hit play, "Patient appears to have difficulty breathing…"

"That's a patient record." Faith said, "Let's not get her into trouble for breeching confidentiality."

"Agreed." Bo replied, "Wait. These files have dates and times on them. That was yesterday, right?"

Faith frowned, shaking her head, "Ysabeau, you've been out for three days."

Bo's face went pale, "Three days?"

"You were very sick, Child."

"Wow. I had no idea I was… wow."

Faith nodded, "Let's try this one."

"It's so late at night."

"It was very late at night. Shannon and Lauren came to you in a blizzard."

Bo looked up, noticing the windows were iced over, "How bad?"

"Would I be here if I could get back to my greenhouses?"

Bo shook her head, "I don't suppose you know anything about my dogs?"

Faith shrugged, "I know they're fine and well cared for by your family and friend Kyle. They're staying at the Kennel with the dogs. Your friend Tamsin is there too."

"Tamsin's here?"

Bo nodded, "She's working on your Mom's case. I know nothing more about that, Ysabeau, so please don't ask. You'll have to talk to Lauren about it, though I am sure she is still waiting for new test results from the lab in Seattle. The doctor there agrees with Lauren that something is not right about the situation. Tamsin is investigating the doctor in Hawaii."

"Good. Good. That's good news."

"Good. Then let's focus on something we can deal with right now, shall we?"

"You mean the fact that I'm apparently not getting married?"

Faith shook her head, "You really never do listen, do you. Lauren said it was all a misunderstanding. You've heard what Lauren did. Now, let's have a listen to your role in all of this, shall we?"

Bo laid back against the pillow, heaving a great sigh as her doctor hit play and held the phone by her ear. The brunette looked at Faith,

"I sound like a lunatic."

"That's the fever. Listen to your words, Ysabeau. We need to make sense of the words."

Bo now wondered what she could possibly have said to make Lauren change her mind about their coming nuptials. She sighed and focused in on the words she could not remember saying…

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Two hours later – Lauren's apartment

"Shhhh… Rudy, you mind me now. Leave Lauren to sleep."

The youngster looked back at her Mother and tried her hardest to whisper, "I'm very quiet, Momma. I just want to see her sleep."

"Roo, Lauren does not need you to watch her sleep." Mary scolded, but she couldn't help but smile at her daughter. She loved her sister's partner dearly and she truly hoped that the pair could find their way through their past to a future that would make them both happy. She knew that Rudy would be devastated if the pair separated and Mary worried that Bo might return to a more isolated life if that were to happen.

"But I just want to make sure she's okay, Momma. She looked really upset. You saw her. My sister isn't here to check on her so it's my job to help her."

Mary smiled. Her daughter had such a kind heart. She was a smaller version of her Ysabeau when she was that age. She could only hope that the Great Spirits would guide her life on a path that allowed her to maintain that innocence. The hard path her elder child had been forced to walk – through no fault of her own – had caused her so much pain – pain that she now feared would never subside.

"Okay, but do not disturb her. Lauren hasn't slept for days."

Rudy smiled and nodded, running the short distance to Lauren's bedside. However, when she arrived, she found the room too dark to see her favorite doctor. She looked around and saw a lamp in the corner of the room by a chair. She smiled, remembering when she had stayed overnight here with Bo. That chair was where she sat on Lauren's lap as she read her a bedtime story before putting her into the big bed to sleep.

Rudy smiled, running over to the chair. She hesitated before pulling on the lamp's string. She worried the light would wake Lauren and then her Mom would ground her for the rest of her life. No sledding, no friends, no fishing lessons with Sister…

She looked around for something that might help. Finally, she spied Lauren's closet. One door was open. Rudy ran her fingers down the sleeve of one of the neatly pressed shirts. She loved how Lauren put them in order of the colors of the rainbow, each one with hangar that matched the color of the shirt. Rudy pointed to each shirt, naming the colors,

"Red, orange, yellow, green, blue…" She gasped with pleasure, "It's the rainbow!"

She reached up to grab the blue shirt, "This will do."

She tugged on the sleeve in an effort to pull it from the hangar, but the item didn't come free. She tried again and again until finally – with one last mighty tug – the shirt came free, but the triangular piece of plastic was launched off the rod into the air. Rudy watched in horror as it headed straight for the bed, bouncing off the wall and landing on the comforter that was covering the sleeping doctor.

The youngster stood, shirt against her mouth, her eyes wide and set on Lauren praying to any spirit that would listen,

"Stay asleep. Stay asleep. Please stay asleep."

Finally, she released the breath she was holding when the blonde didn't wake.

"Whew. That was close." She whispered, running back to the chair. She climbed up on top and leaned out over the lamp, "Too far away."

She jumped down and pushed the chair with all her might towards the small end table. The lamp wobbled when chair met table. Again, Rudy held her breath hoping the lamp didn't tip. Again, she got lucky.

"Okay." She whispered, again climbing atop the chair and reach up to the lamp shade. Still, she couldn't reach, so she tipped the lamp towards her and laid it across the arm of the chair before draping the shirt overtop. She jumped down off of the chair, catching the lamp as it rolled towards the depressed seat cushion.

"Whoa." Her tongue hung from the corner of her mouth as she carefully tipped the lamp back up to its standing position, then pulled on the light string. She grinned widely when a dim light came on, illuminating the room, "Yes!" She said, double fist pumping the air before running around the bed to check on her doctor.

She leaned in and lifted a long strand of blonde hair off of Lauren's face, carefully placing it on her shoulder.

She whispered, "You asleep?"

There was no response, so she ran around to the other side of the bed and carefully slid under the covers. She slowly moved over towards the doctor, making sure the mattress didn't bounce. She snuggled up against the doctors' back, freezing when the blonde rolled over and threw her arm around her, pulling her close.

She relaxed when she realized Lauren didn't wake up. Smiling, she settled her head against the blonde's chest and released a big breath before whispering,

"Don't worry, Lauren. I'm here. You don't have to be sad. I won't let you be alone."

Cuddling a little closer, she closed her eyes and focused on the sound of her favorite doctor's heartbeat until she fell fast asleep with a contented smile on her face.

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Mary Dennis set to the task of cleaning up the rest of Lauren's apartment. Once all was finished, she would sit down and read a book or do some of the knitting she'd left here the last time Bo was laid up in the clinic. She was sure it would still be in the closet. She was hoping that Rudy would fall asleep, but she was very excited about being in Lauren's apartment.

Whenever they would come here, she was immediately drawn to the pictures on the furniture and the wall. The look on the child's face when she came in and saw the empty wall broke Mary's heart, but she quickly pointed to the table where Lauren had printed out new copies earlier.

She smiled, recalling the conversation with her daughter,

"Momma, she's got all new frames for the pictures!" She moved around the table, checking each one, "There's new ones! Look! Here's me and Lauren! And here's me driving my sled! Remember this one, Momma? Huh? Look, Momma!"

Mary smiled down at her daughter, her hand caressing her daughter's messy hair. She had hospital bed head and try as she might, Mary could barely get the child to sit still through a good brushing now that she was permitted to be up and about. If she was confident enough in her health that she could get Rudy home, she would take her there to recover so she would be out of everyone's way. Of course, she was fairly certain that leaving Bo and Lauren would not sit well with her youngest child.

"Look, Momma! This one is me and Elise and Janie!"

She looked up at her Mom, "She must love us a whole lot to hang us on her wall, huh?"

Mary smiled down at her child, "She loves you all very much, Rudy. You can always count on that."

"I love her very much too. She was very sad, Momma. Did she and Bo fight?"

"What makes you say that, Child?"

Rudy frowned, "I swear I wasn't trying to listen. My ears are just really, really good, Momma. Honest!"

Mary sighed, waving off the gossip she was sure her child was speaking of, "Lauren has had a difficult week, Rudy. She's very tired and I think that sleep is the only thing that will help her now."

"But I don't want her and Bo to fight."

Mary smiled, "They never really fight, you know. They just love each other dearly and sometimes they worry about each other. They don't know what to do with that worry and so they sometimes say things they don't really mean."

"So they get upset?"

Mary nodded, "They do. But you know Bo and Lauren, Roo. They'll work things out. Don't you worry."

"But what if they don't?" Rudy asked.

Mary shrugged, "Well, Bo is your sister and you live together. Nothing would change between you and Bo."

"But what about Lauren? I love living with Lauren."

Mary smiled, "You could still do sleepovers with Lauren and you could visit her whenever she's not working."

"But I like being her assistant." Rudy frowned.

"And you can still do that – with her permission." Mary smiled, tweaking her daughter's nose.

Rudy turned towards the bedroom, "I'll pray to the spirits for them."

"I think they would appreciate that, Roo."

Her daughter had proceeded to invade Lauren's bedroom after that, insisting on checking on her. Mary smiled at the child's concern for her sister's fiancé.

Turning off the faucet, she checked to be sure she hadn't missed any glass on the counters or floors when she'd cleaned and swept. Satisfied that things were back to normal, she headed into the living area. She knew that Faith had taken Carolyn and Kelly up to the apartment while Lauren was asleep. They had given the space a thorough cleaning from top to bottom to be sure all of the glass and broken items that couldn't be salvaged were cleared out. Anything of sentimental value, they had boxed and sent with Kurt over to Molly's for repair or replacement.

They had also had Kurt move the TV from the kitchen in the clinic to the apartment. No one ever watched it anyway. Stephen and Betsy would make good use of it when they came in next week. They were pretty sure the couple would not be too crazy about the mounds of snow they would be flying into. Of course, they could show up earlier or later. The couple always kept everyone guessing.

She looked at the table with newly printed pictures scattered across it before her eyes moved to the stack of frames the doctor had picked from the box of frames on the chair.

"I suppose I should leave her to that project." Mary smiled at the picture of Bo and Rudy laying on the ground while puppies ran on top of them, "You little ladies aren't that small anymore, are you? You're good pups, you are."

She moved to the sofa, deciding to read one of Lauren's travel books. Maybe she would start to take Rudy on vacations. They'd never had the opportunity to do so before. It was a great idea Lauren had mentioned to take the child to Disneyland. Hopefully, she would be able to go as well. A quick thought rushed through her mind of her potentially life-threatening condition, but she pushed it out of her mind as quickly as it entered.

"Hmmm… Boston. Let's see what the big attraction is about this city, Doctor Lewis."

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