SNOWSWEPT

by CuddleFae

Dr. Lauren Lewis has been assigned to oversee the opening of a new hospital. Overwhelmed by all there is to know and learn in an unfamiliar land, she crosses paths with a mysterious woman with a dark past - a past that has caused her to live by one rule. Trust no one. Thrown into a desperate struggle, can they overcome the barriers between them in their fight to survive?

25. Chapter 25: Tough Decisions

A/N: Please note, there was very little lag time between the posting of Chapter 24 and this posting of Chapter 25. Many spoilers if you miss Chapter 24, so double check!

Steamy M-rated conclusion to this chapter.

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CHAPTER 25: Tough Decisions

The doctor moved immediately to her office area, knowing she was now late for her call. She could only hope her new friend was running behind as well. She pushed her bag beneath her desk since the workspace had now been moved to a somewhat open space. They'd run out of beds due to the rapid influx of patients and needed all available space. There were three children now sharing the room that had been her office.

Still, with a new group of doctors, nurses and techs coming in, it was time they started considering ways to expand and improve the use of the space. Walls for offices would be a good start. She needed a wall to hang her secret passion – her dart board. Back in Boston, it hung on the inside of her closet door. When she was struggling to come up with a way to save a patient and no known surgical techniques seemed fitting for the situation, she would lock her office door, close the blinds, and shoot darts until she came up with a new technique. It worked like a charm. For some reason, she thought better while playing darts.

Just before Evony transferred her, Lauren had been invited to an axe throwing range by a colleague. Unfortunately, she had missed her chance. Kenzi was always looking for extra money in the winter. An axe throwing barn would be a great addition. She grinned, sending off a quick text to the young woman before sliding her bag further beneath her desk so it was away from her feet. She took a seat and looked down to see a file from Dr. Mallie on her desk. The note on top read,

'Lauren, my notes are inside as well as my opinion on treatment options. It's all best guess… if I'm right about the diagnosis. Have a good shift. Amelia.'

She opened the file and began browsing the notes, then moved to review the full spectrum of test results. She shook her head, knowing that Amelia was likely correct in her diagnosis. It was up to Lauren to figure out how this was happening.

The phone rang, but Lauren kept reading as she answered, "Talkeetna Clinic, this is Doctor Lewis."

"Doctor Lewis! Hello, how are you?"

"Doctor Grace, it's nice to hear from you again. I arrived late to the clinic, so feared I may have missed your call."

"Well first, let's drop the formalities, shall we? We've spoken five times now. We're practically besties as my twelve-year-old daughter would say."

Lauren chuckled, "Yes, please call me Lauren."

"Hello Lauren. My name is William, but please, call me Will."

"Nice to hear from you, Will. So, have you had a chance to review the records your office sent us?"

"I have and I must say, they are quite troubling."

Lauren nodded, "I agree. Would you like to share your thoughts first?"

"Of course. Thank you. I found it to be a straight up case of Arsenic poisoning – something I've found to be quite troubling. The idea that someone would continually administer low-dose poison – especially that one – to the mother of a young child is unthinkable. What's even more unthinkable is the diagnosis the doctor in Hawaii provided. I've already sent a message to the medical board for investigation."

"Thank you, I've sent a message off as well and had Stephen send one too."

"Well, with the three of us drawing attention to the matter, his career should come to a swift and imprisoned conclusion."

Lauren chuckled, "You think he'll do jail time?"

"I made some calls to some friends on the island – friends who took on some of his other patients. Many of them seemed to suffer from mysterious symptoms as well. What's even more troubling is the diagnosis they were given prior to seeking alternative medical advice."

"Let me guess – all diagnosed with heart conditions?"

"Indeed." Will replied.

"Jail time would be fitting, then."

"Many patients died taking his advice. They got to other doctors too late to secure appropriate treatment. Lauren, I'm not so sure we can reverse what's going on with Mary unless we can eliminate the poison from her environment. Do you have any idea how she's being exposed?"

"Yes, well that wasn't my first concern. I have a young infectious disease expert on my staff who came highly recommended by Stephen Archer. She's got a tremendous amount of experience for someone her age. Her specialty is rare diseases and conditions including exotic poisons. I was just reviewing her memo and she noted several abnormalities on the test results."

"So you disagree that it's Arsenic?"

Lauren shook her head, "Actually, I agreed with you until I read her notes. She noted in red ink on the lab results several conflicting markers. They're very subtle, but the elements in the blood that she's noted would not be present in the case of Arsenic nor through normal exposure to the usual agents in our human environment."

The blonde began snapping a few pictures of Amelia's notes and emailed them to Will, "I'm sending you some pictures of her notes. If you open your email, you should have them in a moment… or two… or four. Our internet is pretty slow up here."

"Opening my email now… just one second…"

Lauren waited, listening to Will as he spoke to a staff member, then indicated he had accessed the photos. She listened intently as he made observations about Amelia's work. She nodded as he replied and when he came to agree with the younger doctor's findings, they shared a moment of silence. Eventually, he asked,

"How is this happening, Lauren? You do live with her, yes?"

"Yes, but I have no idea. I've been over it time and again in my mind. If she's exposed, why aren't the rest of us sick? I mean, other than the childhood disease mini-epidemic we have going right now."

He chuckled, "The great Doctor Lauren Lewis, managing cases of pox. How's that working out for you?"

Lauren groaned, "I'm losing what's left of my mind."

"Well, I'll say it again then. We could use a cardiothoracic surgeon of your caliber here. The offer is on the table and will be available until you retire. Just say the word."

Lauren smiled, "I wouldn't say no if you had a case that no one else could crack."

"So I should work on those surgical privileges?" Will asked, excitedly.

"Again, I must emphasize that my priority would be here, but if you absolutely needed me and I was free to spend a few days in Seattle, I would love the challenge."

"Consider it done then. I look forward to working with you again. So, what's our next step with Mary?"

Lauren paused for a long moment, "We have to know the source to prevent continued exposure but for the life of me, I cannot think of how she could be exposed without the rest of the household being exposed as well – her youngest daughter, especially."

"You mentioned this man called Big Jim. Do you think he has anything to do with this?" Will asked.

"I'm sure of it." Lauren stated, her mind still reviewing things around the homestead – again.

"So maybe a trip to that prison is in order? Maybe he'll surrender the information?"

He could hear Lauren's sigh through the phone, "He died months ago."

"Well, that's unfortunate."

Lauren nodded, but then a thought occurred to her, "The autopsy."

"What?"

"I requested a copy of his autopsy, but never received it. Will, I have at least one call to make. Can I get back to you tomorrow?"

"Of course. Care to tell me your thoughts?"

"Not yet. I may be wrong, but it's worth a shot. I'll call you as soon as I finish running my line of thinking."

"Okay then. I'll await your call."

"Thank you. Take care."

"You too. Stay safe, Lauren. I hear the storm is mighty bad up there. Looks like winter is coming early this year."

"I suppose. Of course, I didn't arrive until December of last year, so I'm not quite certain what a normal winter is just yet."

"You'll figure it out. In the meanwhile, like I said, be smart and stay safe."

"You too, Will."

Hanging up the phone, the blonde took a moment to line up her next steps. Once finished, she picked up the phone again. It rang several times until she heard the voice on the other end,

"Lewis! What's up?"

"Hey Tamsin. Are you by any chance in town?"

"I actually just sat down to have a warm something-or-other that Kenzi's new bartender made me."

"Interesting."

"Yup. Considering I've never had warm alcohol before."

"Okay then. Good luck with that." Lauren cringed.

"So, you're obviously not making a social call at this time of night. Everything okay?"

Lauren nodded, "Everything is fine – I mean, mostly. Listen, I never got a copy of Big Jim's autopsy report. Is there any way you could make that happen?"

"You didn't get it?"

"Nope."

"Well, that's strange. I'm texting my friend Lily at the prison right now. Give me a second."

"No problem. Did you eat dinner yet?"

"I'm waiting on my stew and Kyle. She's late. Did you eat?"

"I had the stew too. I was going to suggest it if you hadn't eaten yet. She added those baby carrots you like."

"Listen to you, Lewis. You're talking recipes now?"

Lauren sighed, thinking of her Grandmother's pumpkin pie, "Yea, how 'bout that."

"You okay?"

Lauren looked up to see Faith approaching her desk, "I'm fine."

"Good. Because I have to tell you the autopsy was never performed."

"What? Why?"

"I have no idea. Lily said there's no record of an autopsy being performed."

"But I was assured."

"Hold on – she's saying that it had something to do with native versus federal laws… tribal rituals… irreverence to the body… blah, blah, blah. In short, Selene's tribe intervened and wouldn't allow the body to be cut up post-mortem."

"Tamsin, Mary is being poisoned. This has to be tied to Big Jim."

"He's dead, Lauren."

"Yes, but that man could hold a grudge like no other. Don't you think he would have made plans for his revenge to be carried out in the event of his death? Besides, it looks like this started quite some time ago. The poisoning is in small doses and very slow, but it's been wreaking havoc on her organs for – well, I'd say at least a year or two."

"What are you saying, Lewis?"

"When Bo was running the Iditarod last year, I spent some time with Selene. Over the course of the race, she taught me a lot about the plants, herbs and trees they use for medicines in the native villages across the state. My education provided me with tremendous knowledge of biochemistry. The things she showed me I never would have imagined on my own."

"Lewis, not a doctor. Get to making a point I can understand?"

"Sorry. Think this through with me, Tamsin. Today, my infectious disease doctor got a look at Mary's test results. She has extensive background in exotic poisons. She noticed things that neither me nor Doctor William Grace from Seattle noticed. Long story short, Mary has multiple toxins in her blood. The combination is unlike anything any of us have seen. She could go on for years like this and die a very long, very painful, utterly horrible death as one organ after another begins to shut down."

"Shit. That's bad."

"It gets worse."

"Worse than death by a thousand cuts?"

"We don't know how to treat it and we don't know how she's being dosed. In order for the levels to be where they are in her blood, she must be continually exposed."

"Well, you live with her, so…"

"Please don't say that. I am well aware of what I should be able to see right before my eyes, but I am telling you that everything in that house is shared. If she's being dosed, then the rest of us should be as well. How is it that she's getting poisoned but that Bo, Rudy and I are not? Especially Rudy considering the poisoning began before she came here."

"So you called because you need me to figure out how this is happening."

"You're the detective. I can help with the biochemistry, but I have no idea how this is being administered."

"Well, your young doctor said exotic poisons, right?"

"No, I said she has exotic poison expertise. The toxins we're seeing in her blood are native to our country. According to Amelia, all are derived from plant sources. Selene or someone in her camp had to have something to do with this. If not, then it's someone who works in homeopathic medicine or a homeopathic lab."

"Village would make more sense. They have probable cause. Damn, this case is like the shitstorm that never stops." She paused for a long while, offering a sigh before she shared her train of thought with Lauren, "Well, it sounds like I have to make another trip to the village."

"Tamsin, you can't go alone. They'll just remain silent – as is their right. You need someone on your side."

"Lauren? I believe I can be of assistance."

"Is that Mary?" Tamsin asked.

"Yes, give me a second." Lauren replied, looking up at Mary, "How?"

"I'm sorry to eavesdrop on your conversation…"

"I hardly think eavesdropping is what you would call listening to a conversation about your own medical condition. How much did you hear?" Lauren asked.

Mary sighed, "I'm being poisoned. You think it's one of my people… well, one of my former people."

Lauren stood, placing a hand on Mary's shoulder, "Is it okay if I put Tamsin on speaker?"

"Of course." Mary smiled, turning when she felt Faith's hand in her own. She smiled at her friend, "I'd like Faith to listen as well."

"What about me?"

They all turned to see Bo wrapping a robe around herself.

"Bo, you shouldn't be out of bed." Lauren said, concerned.

"My fever broke and I'm feeling better. I've been told I can get up and walk." Bo replied.

Lauren only nodded, turning back to her phone, "Tamsin, I have Mary, Faith and Bo here with me."

"Wow. The whole gang."

"Yes, well it will save me from having to repeat myself. Mary thinks she can help."

Mary leaned in towards the phone, "Tamsin, I would like to go with you. What I mean is, I would like to use you for transportation, but it would not be appropriate for you to enter the Meeting House of the Elders. There, I would go alone."

"Mom I can go…"

Mary turned quickly, "Ysabeau, while I would love for us to return home together, you are ill and in your present condition, you could infect a great number of people. I would appreciate it if you would listen and allow those who can help to do their part."

"But…"

"Ysabeau. Think of children like Rudy who have never left the village." Mary cautioned, her eyes not the only pair set on the brunette.

Lauren tried to explain, softening her voice, "Bo, their immune systems are barely equipped to handle the everyday viruses you've been exposed to as a member of this community. Exposing them to this virus – well, the secondary infections could kill them."

Bo looked around the group, lowering her head under the scrutiny of the disapproving glare of three of the four women she loved and respected the most in this world,

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about my Mom going back there alone. The Elders could…"

Mary placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder, effectively cutting her off, "Ysabeau, I'll be okay. I know how to handle the Elders. You forget, I was to join them just before I left."

"But Mom, you left them… deserted them. We haven't talked about it, but they weren't happy. They weren't happy at all."

Mary nodded, "I was not the first to leave the village without notice. I know how my perceived betrayal will appear to them and I am sure they received word from Selene. Big Jim would have had her use her influence." She offered Bo a soft smile, "My eyes are open, Ysabeau. I know what I'm doing. I also know that if I do nothing, Lauren would have to go to Point Siku and see the elders there. You know a few are still defending Selene and to them, my husband has become somewhat of a martyr. Your fiancé would get nothing from them, and her visit may re-ignite Big Jim's legacy all over again. I'd rather take my chances with our own people on the North Slope."

Bo's silence told Mary the matter was resolved – for now. Her daughter was stubborn, and she was well aware that she would likely find a new argument for going before they were to leave.

Mary turned back to the phone,

"Tamsin, we'll need Kurt. Please tell him that we'll be traveling to my home village on the North Slope. We would like to leave as early as tomorrow if his team can afford to sacrifice a helicopter and a pilot for a few days. We'll need Lauren as well. If the Elders agree to help, she will need to meet with the Healer to learn how to treat my condition."

"Mary, I'm going to need testimony…"

"Tamsin, right now this is about my life. I will not abandon another daughter… not if I can help it. I did not come to Alaska to give her to Ysabeau to raise. I came here so the three of us could finally be together again. As for Selene and any others who may be the cause of my illness, we will deal with them later. Agreed?"

"I can at least start Dyson and Hale on the investigation." Tamsin suggested, but Mary was shaking her head,

"If you do, it will give them time to cover their tracks. If this all began with someone in my village and there's still a connection back here to Point Siku, they'll reveal themselves to you through their movements."

"And conversations. I take it they're still using landlines up North?"

Mary replied, "It's likely."

Bo spoke up, "Their internet is slow - good at best. Most are still being charged for their data plans on cell phones, so it's cheaper to have landlines. Many still use cell phones despite the cost and often crappy reception."

"So the Sheriff's office can start tapping their lines. No one would know and this would be a great set up for getting them to admit something." Tamsin suggested.

Mary looked at Bo who just shrugged, deciding no one wanted her opinion anyway.

"Ysabeau?"

Bo sighed, "Remember those villages run on generators. They have their own phone and power lines. You'll have to physically go there to set up the taps at the main box for the village unless there's a digital way to tap into those landlines. I'm pretty sure they're still all analog, though."

"I'll explain that to the men. It may delay our trip up there, but they'll figure it out."

Bo explained her thoughts further, her voice hesitant as she somehow thought her participation in this conversation was somewhat unwelcome, "Kurt may be able to hook up the taps since he'll be there. Since he's native, he won't draw as much suspicious as Dyson or Hale."

"Good point. Thanks, Bo." Tamsin replied.

The brunette just stepped back, her eyes lowering once more as Lauren stepped up to speak, concluding the conversation,

"Okay, so we have a plan. The rest we can discuss on the flight up. We're going to have to head back to the homestead to pick up some cold weather gear. I'll need my portable lab kit and a few other things as well."

"Okay. I've got a case to finish up here. I'll tell Kurt we'll meet him at the hotel at about six a.m. tomorrow if everything works out with transportation and setting up the wire taps."

"You can keep us posted by text. Just let me know." Lauren replied.

"Great. I'll call Dyson and Kurt now and let you know where we stand." Tamsin replied, hanging up on her end, "Ladies, I don't believe I have to remind you but I'll say it anyway. Do not let anyone overhear your conversations about any of this. Talk only in person and don't tell anyone outside of this circle. We don't know if there are still people along the Talkeetna-Anchorage line who are involved. We don't need to tip anyone off. They may take more aggressive action against Mary if they think they're caught."

Lauren looked at the group, making sure no one had anything else to say before she replied,

"We've go it. Thanks, Tamsin."

"Later."

Lauren hung up the phone and gave a nod to Mary who turned to Bo,

"Ysabeau, I'd like to spend as much time with you and Rudy as I can before I leave, but I have to run a few errands. Will you sit with her until I return?"

Bo nodded, "Of course."

"Thank you, child. And thank you for your support, insight and cooperation."

Bo's eyes welled with tears, "Mom, please be careful. I was up there last October and… Mom… Elijah Tarook is still alive and sitting on the Council of Elders."

Mary took a sharp breath, her eyes meeting Lauren and Faith's before she turned back to her daughter, "I've dealt with Elijah before, I'll deal with him again."

Bo hesitated, but she needed to know, "Mom, what happened between you two? He was so angry."

"He didn't tell you?" Mary asked.

Bo shook her head, "Only that I was not welcome in the meeting house. I heard mumbles around the village, but I was only there to make a delivery to old Mrs. Tinuit." She closed her eyes, allowing a memory to return, "Doctor Gray and I were trying to process a memory, about him from when I was young, but it's still just out of reach. I just remember that you would scold me for talking to him."

"Althea is alive?" Mary said, her eyes wide, "By the Spirits, she must be what – ninety-seven?"

"Ninety-nine." Bo clarified with a smile, "She places an order by mail every year and every year I deliver and try to refuse her overpayment. I tell her I just use it as a training run, but she knows it's much further."

"You take your sled all the way to the North Slope?" Lauren asked, her voice raised.

Bo smiled, "Only halfway, we take the plane the rest of the way. I need the dogs and sled to get around while I'm up there."

Lauren nodded, releasing a sigh of relief before she realized she was projecting her fears onto Bo again.

"Sorry." Lauren said quietly.

Bo continued, "Anyway, that's why it's so important that I get back to my fish wheel and traps. I'm late with her delivery and her cache must be almost empty."

Mary nodded, "Well, we can certainly make the delivery from the helicopter. Do you have enough meat, fish and skins for us to take now?"

Bo nodded, "You can give her the stock that I started for us."

"How far behind are you?" Mary asked.

Bo shook her head, "Maybe three weeks? It will be more if this weather doesn't break."

"I understand. You should be okay to get back to work next week, right Lauren?"

The blonde nodded, "As long as she doesn't do too much too soon. You have to listen to your body, Bo."

The brunette nodded, "I understand."

Mary excused herself, "Well, I'm going to go upstairs and visit with my daughter. Are you coming, Ysabeau?"

"I'll be there in a bit, Mom." Bo replied, as Mary walked away. The brunette looked nervously at Lauren who turned to Faith,

"I hate to ask…"

"Lauren, I will cover your shift. No worries. That young Doctor Kane said he was going to come in to do some paperwork after he ate down at the hotel, so I'm sure I won't be alone. Besides, your young Amelia feels we've contained this disease with your prompt call to action. Fevers are breaking and everyone seems to be responding to treatment. Those who have milder cases are remaining sheltered in their respective homes to prevent the spread. You've done well, Lauren."

The blonde smiled, "Thank you, Faith. I had quite a team behind me – you included. Thank you so much for helping us to manage the panic and stress of the patients and their families. You are an invaluable asset to our community. I really wish you would stay in Talkeetna."

Faith smiled, "I promise to be a frequent visitor, Lauren. The train is a nice ride. I haven't left my home much in years. I'm glad that I came, but I really must get back to my greenhouse."

Bo smiled, "You could move it here."

Faith laughed, "Oh my, can you imagine? That would be a massive undertaking and I'm not sure my babies would respond as well to the climate here as they do further south."

"You know I have the knowledge and manpower to move you here. You also know that my own greenhouse – small as it may be – has done quite well north of your own. There's this thing called solar power here, too. Anchorage doesn't own the sun." Bo smiled.

Faith shrugged, "Regardless, it's been my pleasure to serve with you all. This is quite a team you've built. I'm impressed. So impressed, you may bring me out of retirement when that hospital of yours opens. Working with knowledgeable young minds would be a hoot."

Lauren smiled, "You know the job offer will always stand. As for my team, you really must thank Stephen. He's been an incredible recruiter to the cause."

"Well, regardless, I'm happy for you." Faith smiled, "Now, I'm going to go check on some charts."

"Are you sure you don't want to nap until I leave?" Lauren asked.

Faith smiled, "Where do you think I was before you got here?"

"Good for you." Lauren smiled.

"One day, you'll be as old as I and you'll realize that sleep doesn't come in volume anymore. You learn to nap throughout the day. Any sleep is good sleep. It's a lesson I hope you learn soon, Child."

Lauren smiled as the older woman walked towards the nurses' station, Bo calling out,

"And don't think I didn't notice you changing the topic about moving you here!"

Faith waved over her shoulder leaving Lauren standing alone with Bo. The brunette stood quietly, her smile fading as her eyes moved slowly to the floor. Lauren took a step towards her,

"Bo?"

The blonde reached out to take Bo's hand, but the brunette pulled away. She began to speak almost immediately,

"I've had a few hours to reflect on my behavior since being admitted to the clinic. Actually, I reflected back a lot further than that. I mean, not when I was… unconscious… I don't really know what my behavior was like then, but I take it I was pretty much an idiot…"

"Bo…"

"Please, Lauren. Just let me get this out." She huffed out a breath, refocusing on what she wanted to say, "I think you were right to reconsider marrying me. I think I'm… I'm damaged, Lauren."

"Bo…"

Her eyes remained set on the floor as she spoke, "No, Lauren. Please, let me finish. I planned a whole speech. I just need to get it all out."

"Okay." Lauren replied, stepping back.

"I have to learn. I have no idea how to be… appropriate… I mean, in social situations, mostly. I definitely don't know how to be part of a couple. I say what I mean – I always have – never worrying about how my words may hurt others. As Faith put it, I have no filter and in social norms, filters are what help us to apply compassion to our words. I'm harsh… too harsh. I have to learn that even though what I have to say may be hard for others to hear, I can soften the blow they may feel if I think before I speak."

Lifting her head, she revealed tearful eyes to the blonde, "I mean… I love you… so much. So damn much. But I have to learn how to talk to you more carefully – more purposefully – more gently. I have to learn to do that with everyone so that my behavior doesn't impact your life because of your association with me. I have to do that for the whole family – but especially for Rudy. She was raised with my Mom and… well, people. She is so damn… kind… innocent. She's careful with the heart and soul of every being on this planet. I'm that way… with animals… but not with humans. Humans have never been kind to me – well, until now. I belong more animals than I do to my own species and I need to fix that. Rudy…"

Bo shook her head, wiping her face as her tears fell harder,

"She's starting to hear things about me at school. Some of the parents won't let their kids play with her because of me and that's not okay, Lauren. You're a big girl and I'm sure you could handle it, but I have to do this for Rudy – she doesn't deserve to be treated like an outsider because of my past."

She lowered her eyes once more, "For us, learning to think before I speak – putting myself in your shoes before I choose my words – will hopefully prevent my love for you from becoming this obsession that leads me to try to control you."

"Bo, it's okay…"

"No, Lauren." She looked up, tears still rolling down her cheeks, "It's not and you know it. Even now, it's taking every fiber of my being not to throw you over my shoulder, hop on a sled and take you back to our homestead. If I could I would lock you in the barn to keep you from going to the North Slope. But because I can't – because it's not appropriate for me to do that… I somehow feel anger towards you. I know that's the wrong thing for me to feel. Faith calls it a defense mechanism called displacement."

Lauren nodded, knowing that Faith was right, but the knowledge didn't stop her heart from breaking over the struggle Bo was feeling.

"I'm not good for you… not right now. You're not good for me… not right now. We both need to figure out how to be a couple. You have to figure out where you went wrong with Nadia and forgive yourself. I have to figure out how to forgive this community and accept society as part of my life, then learn to live with them. We need… a break."

"So, we're cancelling the wedding?" Lauren asked, her heart beating hard in her chest. Suddenly, the confusion and need to run she'd felt earlier was now gone, replaced with a tremendous panic over the thought of losing Bo. She wanted to reach out and pull her towards her. She wanted to hold onto her and never let her go.

Bo shook her head, "Postponing. I want to emphasize that. I'm in love with you and can't imagine my life without you. I'm not ready to give up on us. I'm just asking that you not give up on me because…" She lifted her eyes to Lauren, the blonde tearing up at the sight of pleading red, swollen eyes, "I still have every intention of marrying you, Lauren Lewis."

Bo mustered the smallest smile, but still the tears fell, "I just want to back things up a bit. No, that's wrong. I don't want to back things up, I… I need this, Lauren. I need to back things up or I'm afraid that we won't last a year together. You'll resent me for being an angry, backwoods, anti-social animal and I'll resent you for being everything I'm not – everything I never had a chance to be because my parents were... well, let's not beat that dead horse."

Bo looked up only briefly, her eyes swiftly moving back down, unable to maintain eye contact with the woman she loved with every fiber of her being,

"I want both of us to focus on our careers and the people in our lives. We have a family that we've been neglecting. Whether separately or together, we need to spend time with them. And I don't mean the kind of time where they need our professional skills. I mean the kind of time where we're with them just because we enjoy their company and they enjoy ours."

Bo smiled, "Doctor Gray says that time with loved ones is like sunshine to our garden. I want to find a way to budget my time – like I used to. It seems that my schedule was always great until I added people to my life but…"

She shrugged, a broad grin spreading across her face,

"… adding people is the best thing that's ever happened to me." The smile vanished, her eyes suddenly losing the light that was in them just a split second earlier, "I just don't know how to balance people with my life. I mean, I used to wake at sunrise, hop on my sled, empty and reset my traps and drive to one of the nearby trading posts. All of that would take four to six hours. After that, I would take the money I made to buy supplies for whatever construction job I had going and then spend another four to six hours there. Then I would go to the river and check my wheel before cleaning and flash freezing my catch. After I got that stored or smoked it was time to play with the dogs, mend the sled and equipment before bunking down for the night in whatever cave or cover the dogs could sniff out in the dark."

She shrugged, "I don't know how to prioritize people in my life. Of course, if I'm being honest, motivating myself to be around people at all is still difficult, but I love them all… so much. It's why I try to stay in public more." She shook her head, "Anyway, I want to get back on a schedule for work and add in dates with my friends and family… and you."

Bo shook her head, "You see? That made it sound like you're my last priority, but that's not true. You're my top priority along with Rudy and my Mom. I guess – until now – my whole life has been about doing what I had to do to survive. I never did anything just for fun."

Looking up at Lauren, her eyes soft, "The only real fun I've ever known has been playing with my dogs. Then you came along and… well, honestly - I don't think we've really had much fun. Sure, we went to Byer's Lake and the helicopter tour and a picnics with by sled but you've been here almost a year and… well…"

Lauren watched as Bo shook her lowered head, her hand moving to her cheeks and coming away wet,

"Bo?"

The brunette began again, but her eyes remained down, "You've been more places with Kurt to treat sick patients than you've been with me to see your new home. I want you to know and love this land as I do, yet I've done nothing to introduce you to it. You should have been all over Alaska by now, but instead, most of our time together has been spent in the hospital, under fire or at your work. I want to show you this world through my eyes so that you come to know it as I always have. This place is like one gigantic playground and until I took Rudy for a sled ride before she got sick, I'd forgotten that."

"I'm sure I'll love playing on your playground with you." Lauren smiled.

"I'd also like to learn to ride a bike. I'd like you to teach me."

Lauren grinned, "I'd love to."

"I'd like to take you to your mountain. I'd like to show it to you as I've seen it. Maybe build a cabin up there."

"Is that allowed?" Lauren asked.

Bo shrugged, "I own the land, so I don't see why not."

"You own… you own the mountain across from the homestead?" Lauren asked, shocked.

Again, Bo could only shrug, her head still lowered, "I own fourteen acres south and fourteen acres north of the homestead. I own two thousand acres across the river – a thousand on either side of the mountain including the mountain… give or take another five hundred or so east and west."

"Bo, how did you ever afford…"

Lauren shrugged, "All I did was make money since I was ten years old, Lauren. I never had anyone or anything to spend it on. I never needed to buy much food or clothing – the land always gave me everything I needed. You know I don't care for banks, so I had to put the money somewhere. I bought the mountain first. I mean… who wants a mountain, right? Then I started buying land around the mountain – it was cheap back then. Over time I bought an acre or so a week. No one wanted the land on the other side of the river when the town is on this side. You know how hard it is to cross. The current is strong and bridges don't exactly stay put."

She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and turning sideways to lean against the wall,

"Dyson was actually the one who told me the homestead was for sale." Bo chuckled, "When I first saw it, I laughed. I mean, the previous house was basically a pile of rotted lumber and the other three structures were pretty much the same except for largest barn which I renovated. Of course, when I heard the price for the amount of land I made the decision to buy it. I wouldn't have to cross the river, it was my favorite trapping and fishing area, it was a straight shot by sled from those lands to town and all the way to Point Siku. It just… fit."

Lauren nodded, "I still can't believe you own a mountain."

Bo smiled, "Complete with snowcaps. Aren't you the least bit curious what's up there?"

"More than you know." Lauren grinned, "But… well, you would be okay with that? With me going up there? You wouldn't be worried that I would get hypothermia, fall or worse?"

Bo smiled, "Of course I would, but I know you want to do it."

"Oh?" Lauren asked.

Bo laughed, "Last month when you told me to get my truck keys from your backpack… I saw the brochure."

Lauren's eyes went wide and her response was quick, "I was just curious, Bo. I swear. It was in the rack at the General Store and I was waiting to pick up Rudy from a play date and…"

"You were afraid to tell me you wanted to climb Denali because of how I spoke about the idiot tourists who go up there and try to get themselves killed."

"Well, you have been a bit… protective." Lauren replied, "And you've made your thoughts on the mountain pretty clear."

Bo nodded, "Carolyn told me a bit about the things you liked to do back in Boston. Rock climbing, mountain biking and darts?"

Lauren's eyes went wide, "She knew about the darts?"

Bo shrugged, "I suppose. My point is, you're a natural adventurer and I've been trying to keep you in this protective bubble because I was stereotyping you into the category of… well… cheechako… an outsider."

Lauren nodded, "Thank you – for admitting that."

Bo nodded, "Carolyn told me you were supposed to go axe throwing. We can definitely do that. Leave me out of the sky diving, though."

Lauren laughed, "That was a long time ago. I don't think I would ever go again."

"Good. Because I'm pretty sure that will never be on my to-do list." Bo smiled, "I don't mind being the pilot, but jumping out of perfectly good aircraft – no matter what type – seems a waste of fuel and great scenery… not to mention a pretty big risk of life and limb."

It was Lauren's turn to laugh, "Says the woman who almost died several times in a year, used her bare hands to take down not one but two bears, took on an entire team of bad guys on a mountain top, ran and won a race behind a team of runaway dogs through arguably the most barren and hostile environment on the planet. We can also add in being a climbing guide on Denali and…"

"Okay, okay. I get the picture." Bo smiled before she paused, taking a deep breath, "So, you're okay with this?"

"Honestly, I was thinking the same thing today." Lauren replied, receiving a surprised look from Bo, "You're right. I've got things to figure out as well. I've been pointing an awful lot of fingers at you lately, but in truth, I'm having trouble with my own balancing act. There is a lot of soul searching I need to do. I think I've been using you to try to fix what's been missing inside of me. The truth is, we have to be whole on our own before we can be whole together."

Bo nodded, "Are you okay with continuing to see each other? It sounds like you might have wanted to take a different step back."

Lauren hesitated, but remembered their promise to be honest, "Yes, I was going to suggest we take a different type of break."

"As in a break up?"

Lauren shook her head, "No, I was going to go back to Boston to finish up paperwork and legal responsibilities earlier than planned. It would have given us both a chance to get some separation and work on our respective issues."

Bo's eyes welled with tears again, but she took a breath, quickly reasoning through Lauren's comments, "I guess it doesn't really make a difference if you did it now or in February when you were scheduled to go."

Lauren nodded, shoving her hands into her lab coat pocket – a gesture Bo knew meant the doctor was anxious, so she added,

"I will support whatever you decide, Lauren. If you go now, you'll be back for the holidays. I mean, you'll miss Thanksgiving but…"

"I can certainly fly back for that." Lauren suggested.

Bo nodded, "Let's play it by ear. You'll decide when you decide and I'll accept your decision. I'm in no position to ask, expect or demand anything of you."

"Bo, please don't think…"

"You love me, Lauren. I know you do." Bo stepped forward, her fingers gripping the ends of a lock of blonde hair, "I feel it like I feel the sun on my face when it first comes up in spring."

She dropped the strands of hair, "And if it were about eight hours ago, I would have said screw the obvious audience behind us and taken you in my arms to plant a heart-stopping kiss on that beautiful mouth of yours. But this is me now. I'm working on learning restraint in social situations. It's something Doctor Gray calls social cues, social norms and social boundaries."

Lauren nodded, "I do love you, Bo. It's the only thing I am sure of right now."

Bo laughed, "Well, I hope that's not true. You're the smartest person I know, and someone has to keep these patients going."

Lauren offered a tight smile, but her expression was more serious, "Bo, can I just explain… I want you to know what's been happening."

"Of course you can. I'm sorry you feel like you have to ask." Bo replied, honestly.

"I've received offers of surgical privileges at hospitals in both Anchorage and Seattle."

Bo tried to hide the spontaneous fear that rushed through her at the news, but she was unsuccessful. Lauren smiled,

"Now Bo, that doesn't mean what you think it means. I won't be traveling or moving to those places. My home is here, Bo. With you… and Rudy and your Mom. I love our life together even though we are having problems connecting right now."

"So what does it mean? I mean, what does 'privileges' mean?" Bo asked, her face reflecting worry Lauren had only ever seen in patients' families until now.

Lauren reached for Bo but saw her retract. Trust had definitely become a factor between them, so she wasn't exactly surprised. Instead, she offered a small smile as she calmly tried to explain,

"If there is a critical coronary case in the hospitals, they will call me for a consultation. If a surgery is required that no one on their staff can perform, I will fly there, handle the surgery and after a day or two of post-op observation, I'll hand the patient off to a full-time staffer and come back home."

"But what happens if someone needs you here and you're gone? What if my Mom needs you?"

"Bo, I've already told Seattle and Anchorage that my life – both personal and professional – would always take precedent here. Plus, the more I go there, the more the doctors there will learn the techniques I use and the less they'll need me. I would not only get to do the surgeries I love the most, but I would also get to teach my techniques that are less invasive, pose less risk of infection and have proven benefits to patient morbidity and mortality rates."

Lauren saw Bo's shoulders relax, but she wanted to be sure she was being clear,

"But Bo, I want to be sure you understand that the woman you fell in love with - the doctor and surgeon – always puts her patients first. If I'm called and it's something they can't handle, I will want to go unless there is an emergency here that no other doctor can handle. We're hiring the best we can find, so I'm hoping I'll be free to help in Seattle and Anchorage."

Bo nodded, "I respect that, Lauren. Of course. I just have to work on accepting that. I've become so needy with you and that's just another thing I need to figure out – tempering my love for you with my need to be with you all the time."

A scowl spread across her brow, "Now that I've seen myself through this… new lens, as Dr. Gray calls it, I'm starting to wonder who I am and where the old Bo went. As much as no one liked her, she's the one you fell in love with, so I can understand why you're not all that fond of clingy Bo. I'm not particularly fond of her at all." Bo chuckled, "Who am I kidding? Honestly, I hate her with a mad, wild passion."

"Tell me how you really feel." Lauren quipped.

"I uh… I think I just did. Did you think I was lying? That I like who I've become?" Bo asked, her anger flaring.

"No, Bo. Please. It was… a joke. I mean… well, I was joking. It was my attempt at… sarcasm." Lauren shook her head, "Only I find me funny."

Bo nodded, swiping her hand through the air, "Right. See? I think that was supposed to be one of those social cues I was supposed to understand. Just went… whew… right past me. I'm sorry I snapped. See? Definitely a social misfit. You make a joke and I get angry. Who else but me gets angry at a joke?"

Bo laughed, awkwardly, leaving the pair standing in uncomfortable silence until Lauren began,

"All of that aside, I hope you will consider that you don't know me as Lauren the cardiothoracic surgeon, Bo. You've seen a few minor cardiac repairs that required two or three hours of work. The usual surgeries I get called for – transplants and open-heart surgeries – well, just one surgery can take eight hours or longer. In addition to a single surgery, there is my pre-event study time, team prep time, patient and family meetings and basic surgical prep. I usually perform surgeries three days a week and sometimes surgeries get bumped due to emergencies forcing me to stay late or go in on a previously scheduled day off. I also do some time in the practice lab so that I can keep up with skills I don't use as often."

"Wow. That's… I didn't realize. So it takes you a full day to fix someone's heart?" Bo asked.

Lauren shrugged, "And then some. Before and after the surgeries, I have patient rounds to do for the surgeries I had completed one or two days before as well as patient interviews with those I will do a day or two later."

"So, going back to this heart surgery stuff will take a lot more of your time." Bo replied, her head low.

Lauren nodded, "In addition, I'm the founder, owner and co-president of the company here, so that will take up a good amount of time for the next couple of years. After that… well, I'm not sure. Stephen has only committed to two years since… I mean, he is retired, after all."

Bo shuffled nervously, "So what you're saying is… you won't be around much."

Lauren lowered her head, "Remember - It cost me my marriage once before, Bo. You only know me as a doctor at a small clinic. When our hospital here opens and patients are being flown in from around the state and possibly further, I'll be quite busy. It's why I rely so heavily on Carolyn. She has always helped me to retain some sense of balance in my professional life. She is the one who forced me to allow time for a personal life."

"And because of me, she quit." Bo replied, lowering her head once again.

Lauren took Bo's hand, grateful it was permitted this time. She led her to a more private nook, "I've dedicated my life to healing hearts, Bo."

Bo smiled for the first time, though Lauren could see it was forced, "How ironic."

"I didn't say I healed my own and I couldn't heal Nadia's. She was always able to find a sort of balance between being a heart surgeon and being a wife. Of course, she didn't excel as a surgeon and I definitely didn't excel as a wife."

Bo shrugged, "You're still a hundred times better as a person, friend and fiancé… or girlfriend than she ever was."

"Fiancé." Lauren said quietly.

"What?"

"You said you still intended to get married. Doesn't that mean I'm still your fiancé?"

Bo shrugged, "I didn't know if you wanted to use that label."

"You know how much I hate labels, but I've always prided myself on that one where you're concerned. I suppose that's why I want to be a little more like Nadia – professionally. The problem is, she only had to be a surgeon. I have to be… excellent. I don't want to sacrifice my standing in my field anymore than you would want to sacrifice your standing in the world of dog sledding… I mean, that's if you still want to drive a sled."

Bo sighed, "I want to… I mean, I want to want to. I just feel… tired."

"Me too… tired of working in this clinic of runny noses, childhood diseases and broken bones. I'm not happy with my job, Bo and if I have to continue being a doctor just to pay bills, I'd rather not be a doctor. The problem is, I love being a doctor. I'm good at being a doctor. I'm even better at being a surgeon. The thought of someone dying because I could, but wouldn't save them is… well, I couldn't live with myself. At the same time, I've paid my dues and I feel like I deserve at least a taste of the happiness I think I could have with you… if you were willing to allow me the time and space I need to do my job to the best of my ability. I need you to be okay with my taking time to be a surgeon and I don't know if you're willing to do that right now."

"Lauren, I know…"

"Please, Bo. Let me finish." The blonde said, taking both of Bo's hands, careful not to disturb any of the sores on her skin, "This is why I wanted to go to Boston. I need some time to make some changes in my life. I don't want to dive back into my work so much that you and I don't have a life together… a real life. I want a real life." She shook her head, "I will always want to be in an operating room and, being the doctor that I am, other doctors will always ask me to come to the rescue until someone bigger and brighter comes along. If I can bring on a team of young surgeons - those like the ones Stephen is currently selecting from the best schools around the world, I can build a team of… well, mini-me's so that they can take on the mantel… sooner rather than later, hopefully."

Lauren's eyes welled with tears, leading Bo to raise a hand to her cheek and thumb the tears away. The brunette asked,

"Lauren, what's wrong?"

"I love surgery, but since coming here, I've found parts of myself that I didn't know existed. I want to have time to explore who I am… here, in Alaska and with you. I want to know who I am with a family around me. I think I've never explored the possibility of an extended family because it was too painful. My parents didn't allow for me to consider that dream and my brother took off more than a decade ago. For all I know, I could have nieces and nephews that I've never met. It's strange that I've never even thought of that until now even as I watched you find a family you never knew you had."

She shook out her thoughts, "I know I'm all over the place, but there are so many parts of me that are waking up and I don't want 'surgeon' to be the only thing I am. Lately, I've been remembering how important family was to me. My Grandmother and my Nanny were everything to me growing up because they allowed me to know what it meant to be family. They showed me what love was – that it's a give and take that requires kindness, sharing and time together. For so long my mind was filled with the negative memories of my parents. But after months of watching you reunite with your family, I only remember what it felt like to have family that showed me love."

The blonde smiled, "And since remembering that, it's fueled my desire to have the love of family in my life again. Bo, I finally want labels… I want to be wife, daughter, big sister, friend, and – if we ever decide – mother as well. I want to be a climber, a biker, a musher, a kennel owner and maybe even a pilot or business owner. I just need to figure out where my heart is, Bo. With you, yes, of course but I want to know what else my heart is seeking. My parents set me on this path. Luckily, I grew to love it, but do I really love medicine like I did when I was younger or is it just something I keep doing because I'm afraid it's the only thing I can do… or feel obligated to do."

"Obligated?" Bo asked.

"When no one else can figure out how to fix a heart, I'm the doctor my colleagues send their patients to, Bo. What am I supposed to say? No? Sorry, figure it out yourself? Sorry, I'm busy fucking my wife so your patient will have to die today?"

Bo's eyes went wide, "Wow. I didn't realize I was such a burden…"

"Bo, I didn't mean that how it sounded. I'm not saying you would expect me to put sex…"

"No, of course not." Bo replied, shaking her head. She dropped Lauren's hands, turning to look around the clinic,

"You know, I've been laying in that bed surrounded by a curtain that kept me so focused on myself that even when I've watched you save people firsthand… I mean… what you do…" She looked quickly at Lauren, motioning for her to move closer, before she nodded towards a patient bed. The doctor stood just behind her as she spoke,

"There's Mrs. Carthridge reading to her three-year-old daughter, Sunny. I've heard her voice, but it didn't register until now. Sunny has the pox down her throat. I remember hearing that her airway was blocked…" she turned back to Lauren, "… she almost died, right?"

Lauren nodded as she watched Bo turn back to the clinic, "That's John Lightfoot. He had a heart attack on Tuesday. You jumpstarted his heart with that machine and then stuck long tubes into him. I saw the shadows on that scanner thing."

The doctor spoke quietly from behind, "I did a cardiac catheterization on him, opening his artery and using a stent to keep it open… for at least a while. He'll need bypass surgery before long."

Bo nodded, "Shannon watched him like a hawk for days. Now she's gone. Your best nurse is gone because of me."

"This clinic wasn't for her, Bo. It's not just because of you. She chose cardiac surgical nurse as her specialty, not family practice. I knew she didn't come here for this. She wants the hospital setting. She's been getting more and more frustrated with each passing day. This is boring for her and she can't stand listening to patients complain when she knows how much worse off other patients are. I can't blame her, really. She's literally seen people at death's door, so has zero patience of people whining over the pain and eventual itch caused by Chicken Pox."

"Like me."

"Bo…"

"No, Lauren. She was right. I was acting like a spoiled, stubborn child. The way I behaved was… well, it was beyond inappropriate and you need her. This clinic needs her. John Lightfoot has five kids and a wife. If he had died, who would have provided for them? He works on my construction team. I'm his boss and I never even went over and said hello to him. Rudy was right – I haven't been paying attention to my construction business. Worse yet, I haven't been paying attention to the people who earn the money that gets deposited into my bank account. They work, I get paid. I'm no better than Evony. I've become what I despise."

She turned and looked at Lauren, "I never knew how awesome your responsibility was to others. I never thought of the obligation you must feel. I would never want to get in the way of you having to choose between who lives and who dies – especially not because of me."

Lauren nodded, "Thank you for recognizing that, Bo. It means a great deal to me to hear you say that. I'm going to have to figure out a way to have everything I want in my life so that I can be happy and still have the time to do what my patients need me to do to keep them alive and well."

Bo nodded, "Go, Lauren. If it's what you need to do, you have my blessing. Go help my Mom and then go to Boston. Get everything finished, take some time to think about what you want out of your life – professionally and personally. I'll do the same while you're away."

Lauren smiled, "Bo, I really believe that if we take this time, we'll both be able to get our respective lives together. I hope that then when we come back together, we'll be better and stronger than we were before."

They stood in silence for a long moment, tear-filled eyes holding a strange mix of fear and hope for what the future might bring. Finally, Bo gave Lauren's hands a squeeze before releasing them,

"You be careful on the North Slope, Lauren. They're not always kind to outsiders and when they get wind of your connection to me or my Mom, things may get tense. Very tense."

"Bo, what happened with your Mom and that Elder you mentioned?"

Bo shrugged, "From what I was told, she reported him to the Council of Athabascan Tribal Governments. For my Mom to have done that, she had to have community support as well as support from at least one third of our Council of Elders. He still has his seat, so she didn't win the case – whatever it was."

"Could that have been because she left?" Lauren asked.

Bo shook her head, "No. I was very young when all of this happened. I've been seeing flashes of her grabbing me and pulling me away from him. Other parents didn't want their kids talking to him either. I'm not sure what happened. I just know I got a lot of mixed messages as a kid."

Lauren nodded, "Well, whatever it is, I'm confident in your Mom's ability to handle this, Bo. Besides, Tamsin will be there too."

Bo shook her head, "Tamsin has no experience up there and no legal standing. Remember, Lauren – the tribes and the federal government have an uneasy agreement. They prefer to retain their independence as a people and as a nation. The last time Tamsin went poking around for information, she was kicked out of the meeting house. It's not like it is here, Lauren. You need to be careful. You need to be invited to go places, so please – just be..."

"Careful."

Bo nodded, "I know. I'm being overprotective again. I'm just worried. I wish I was going. I know you are probably glad I'm not, but I have a bad feeling about this, Lauren. I just have a really bad feeling."

The blonde nodded, "Well, sometimes Boston street smarts are applicable to other parts of the world. Now, do I actually have your blessing or not?"

Bo closed her eyes, reminding herself of the promise she'd made to give Lauren space to make her own decisions,

"Yes, of course. I just want you to be aware of your surroundings."

Lauren nodded, "I will. I promise. Now, after I finish up here, I have to go back to the homestead to get some gear. Is it okay if I spend the night there?"

Bo sighed, "Of course it is, Lauren. It's still your home. I guess… I guess if we're taking a step back, we should… I mean, I don't want to assume you want to share a bed with me."

Lauren smiled, "Would you like to come?"

Bo nodded, "What are the chances you would allow both Rudy and I to go back there? I mean – to stay while the two of you are away."

"Oh, Bo. I'm not sure…"

"Look, both of our fevers broke. There's no chance of us infecting each other or anyone else. We can play with the dogs, fish, color, read, watch a Disney movie or two on your iPad and I can start prepping gear for training runs. Rudy is begging me to teach her about sledding, but there's only so much I can teach her without any equipment."

"No long sled rides?"

Bo shook her head, "Only if one of us got sick and had to go back to the clinic."

"And what if that's you?"

"I'll call Kurt."

Lauren smiled, "Good answer, but he'll be with us, remember?"

"Then I'll call Allan or Alice or Court. I'm sure any of your team of pilots would respond to fly out to get us. I mean, that's why they're there, right? And I suppose I could call Carolyn if I was really desperate"

Lauren sighed, "Okay. If it's okay with Mary, it's okay with me, but I want one last temperature check on both of you. We have plenty of sacks of oatmeal at home and I'll give you a good supply of calamine lotion because both of you are going to start to itch uncontrollably."

"I can hardly wait." Bo replied sarcastically before turning to head back to her bed, "When do we head out?"

Lauren looked around the corner, "I have to do rounds, get coverage for while I'm on the North Slope and in Boston. After that, I have to make flight arrangements to Boston and then get you two discharged. Maybe two hours?"

Bo nodded, "Great. I'm going to go take a nap."

"Are you okay?"

Bo smiled, "Yea. I'm just not used to being upright. I've got to start taking more walks."

"Just take it slow, please. In another two weeks, you should be back on the sled. No big trips until your scabs are almost all gone."

"Yes, Doctor." Bo snarked.

"Bo, I wanted to tell you – Carolyn and Shannon have started the process of buying a house. I don't know how far along they are, but they have settlement in three weeks or so. If you wanted to put that offer out there, now would be the time."

"Wait – what?" Bo asked, shocked, "Where?"

"Down at Trapper Creek."

"But that's so far away." Bo remarked, "Are they going to work at the hospital in Anchorage?"

"I've offered them jobs until the Talkeetna hospital opens."

"Doing what?"

"Prepping the structure for becoming a hospital. Hiring the staff and holding meetings about procedures, getting licenses squared away, ordering equipment and overseeing the installation since your staff has no experience with it, ordering supplies, choosing the furnishings and hardware that your guys have been nagging me about… that sort of thing."

"You're okay with them designing your hospital?" Bo asked.

Lauren laughed, "You think I actually have an interior design gene? You do realize that you are the one who built the homestead and has done every upgrade since, right?"

"Right." Bo replied, offering a slight smile.

"Anyway, apparently the property they're buying needs a whole lot of work." Lauren added, "Kurt says there's basically two walls that are worth saving and that's about it."

"Where?"

"I told you, Bo. It's in Trapper Creek? What's wrong?"

"Where in Trapper Creek?"

Lauren shrugged, "I don't know. I just saw a picture of a small, run-down cottage with a small barn. It's beautiful land. There's a large mountain in the background and a beautiful crystal clear lake out front. It's stream-fed by the mountain."

"Phone." Bo said, holding out her hand.

"Bo…"

"No, I know they're mad at me, but… please. They're being taken advantage of, I'm sure of it. Some grubby realtor sees outsiders who want to move here and they're probably charging them three times market value or more. Besides, they have no idea how to build a home down in Trapper Creek."

Bo shook her head, turning away as she paced back and forth, "This is from that trip they did to Huntingdon. They took snow machines from Talkeetna into the foothills of the Alaska Range then traveled by chopper to Mat-Su."

"I thought they went to a place called Matanuska-Susitna."

Bo nodded, "Yes, Mat-Su for short. It's a ten to fifteen-minute ride to Trapper Creek from there. They probably went for something to eat when they finished their tour and ran into the realtor in a local tavern."

"As a matter of fact, Carolyn said they met her on the helicopter tour."

"Even worse. Penelope was telling me you have lawyers you call ambulance chasers?"

Lauren nodded, "Yes. They're lawyers who literally stake out firehouses and follow the ambulances in hopes of turning injured victims into clients. Why?"

Bo shook her head, "Because we have a few realtors who do the same thing only they follow tour buses, boats or helicopters trying to sell of land that no native would ever buy. They convince people a vacation home here would be great. The unsuspecting outsider pays for the land since it's much cheaper than buying waterfront in the lower forty-eight, pay for renovations to make the property livable and return after winter to find it buried under the snow from the mountain behind it."

"But the mountain looks so far away in the picture."

"Pictures can be altered. Did they actually see the land?"

Lauren nodded, "Yes. Carolyn absolutely fell in love with it."

Bo shook her head, "I'm sure. Unfortunately, they saw the property at the end of summer. That small stream that feeds the lake is glacier water. When the melt starts, the water will flood that valley and the house is likely filled with water. That's why it was destroyed and the realtor can't sell it. Phone, please."

"Okay." Lauren said, trusting that Bo knew what she was doing. The brunette wobbled a bit, so Lauren ran to get her a stool to sit on. She hadn't been out of bed for a long time, so the doctor knew it was just that she was weak.

"Hello?"

"You bought a house? Without talking to me?" Bo asked, her voice raised.

"I didn't know I needed your permission. You suddenly have a problem with me becoming a resident of Alaska? Gee, and I thought we were friends. Although, with friends like you, I'm not sure I need enemies."

"Wow, really mature, Shannon."

"Yea, well I'm learning from you, Bo."

Bo took a deep breath as she saw Lauren's disapproving eyes come into view, "I'm sorry. That came out all wrong. I'm just… look – I'm sorry about earlier. I'm sorry about my whole fucking personality, okay? I'm sure you're tired of excuses, but I've been completely removed from society for most of my life. I'm learning - and more importantly, I'm trying, okay? I'm seeing a therapist – have been since just after the Iditarod. I'm taking steps to be better, Shannon and if that's not good enough for you, then I'm sorry but taking it out on Lauren after all she's done for the three of you both personally and professionally is just flat out wrong."

There was silence on the other end of the line, so Bo continued,

"Despite what's happening with us, there are two things you should know. First, I talked to Lauren today and we're going to be changing the dynamic of our relationship for right now. We intend to marry, but we're postponing and taking a step back to try to sort out both ourselves and our professional lives. We'll still be sharing our family and friends, so don't get weird about it – our relationship is ours to handle, so let us handle the social stuff. You guys just keep doing what you're doing. I understand you don't want to talk to me right now, so if that's the case, let Lauren know you don't want me around when you guys do stuff together and I'll make myself scarce."

Lauren gave her a nod to which Bo mouthed, 'thank you'.

"Second, I own most of the land on both sides of the river in Talkeetna up and over the mountain. What I don't own is owned by the town. I won't get into the details, but it's land that goes way beyond what you can see from our back porch. Before I got sick, Lauren and I had been talking about using the land for our family and friends to have a place to stay when they came out."

"Well, we'll have a house down…"

"No, Shannon. I'm talking about building you a house up here – near your friends – your family. You can build far enough up or down river so that you don't even have to see us or our homestead. You can also build across the river if you'd like, though we'd have to build you a ferry or build you a boat to come across to get to work every day."

"So you would just give up a piece of land for us? What's the catch?"

Bo shook her head, "This isn't Boston and I'm not some realtor angling to make money off of an unsuspecting outsider like your realtor probably is. You are family and family shares what they have. If you want a deed to the land, I'll sign it – two or three acres right off the river. My company will build the house to your specs and you can pay for the materials as we buy them or a little at a time. No mortgage interest – just the honor system. We've all got computers and Lauren can make one of those fancy spreadsheets she does for her bills."

The blonde smiled, amazed at the offer Bo was making to her friends. She was such a generous spirit and the sincerity with which she presented the gesture filled Lauren's heart.

"What about Kelly?" Shannon asked.

"When Kelly decides what she's doing with her life, she'll get the same offer. Why?"

"There's a separate building on the property we're supposed to buy. She was going to live there."

Bo was a bit surprised, "You actually want Kelly to share the space with you and Carolyn? I mean… I'm not judging, I just thought that…"

"Oh, no. I definitely do not want that. Lynnie is the bleeding heart there. She doesn't want her to be alone."

Bo laughed, "So even if you guys go to Trapper Creek, you want me to build something for Kelly?"

"I would be forever in your debt." Shannon replied with the sound of relief in her voice.

"I'll take your friendship in exchange." Bo hesitated, but decided to speak honestly, "You've become very important to me, Shannon. Losing your friendship is… well, I don't want to lose you."

"Wow. The great Bo Dennis, speaking from the heart."

Bo sighed, "Mock me if you want. I'm speaking honestly. You're like a sister to me."

Shannon was surprised, "I didn't know, Bo. I'm sorry to joke. I just didn't know you felt that way."

"Well, I don't exactly where my heart on my sleeve. Quite the opposite, in fact though I'm working on it for the sake of my friends and family. As for you, well, you've always listened and given me sound advice. You've never let me down even though I've been unbearable at times. I'm sorry, Shannon, for how I treated you. I'm asking for you to be patient with me – more patient than you've already been. I'm not used to friendships let alone the… feelings… they've brought."

There was silence for a long moment and Bo waited, staring up at Lauren until Shannon finally said, "I'll talk to Carolyn. We could pick our piece of land?"

Bo smiled, "Yes, though I'm guessing Lauren wouldn't want you too far away."

"But what if things don't work out for the two of you? Will she stay in Talkeetna?" Shannon asked.

Lauren placed a finger over Bo's lips, leaning towards the phone, "To be clear, things will work out between the two of us. We're just taking a step back, sorting out some personal things while we continue to… date."

Bo chuckled as Lauren gave her a wink and a smile before she continued, "Don't you worry about Bo and I, my friend. We'll find our way in our time. We didn't meet under normal circumstances, so why should we have a normal relationship, right? It may take twenty years, but we'll work it out."

"So, you'll be… around?"

Lauren knew Shannon was referring to their previous discussion but knew better than to let on to Bo that they were privy to their friend's plans,

"Tamsin, Mary and I are heading up to the North Slope to see what we can learn about this poison that's in Mary's blood."

"Poison?" Shannon asked, shocked.

"Sorry, I forgot you haven't been here. Yes, a combination of plant-based toxins that we believe originated from a native village. Mary believes she can get answers there. I'm going to speak with their village Healer and Tamsin is going just in case there is trouble. Kurt is flying us up there. We'll be a few days. When we get back, I'm going to head to Boston for a few weeks to tie up loose ends."

"Kurt just left on an emergency run. Allison was apparently just admitted to the clinic. She's got Chicken Pox, so they're apparently short a pilot. Who's running the clinic while you're gone, Doc?"

"Faith Gray. She'll have things under control until we get back."

"Do you need us to…"

"No, I don't need you to do charity hours – not if you don't intend to come back to work."

There was a long stretch of silence, but Bo and Lauren could tell there were other ears listening to their conversation. Bo held back her laughter when Kelly's voice rose above a whisper. They could hear the slaps from the other two as the youngest member was scolded.

"We'll be back to work tomorrow." Shannon stated plainly.

"Thank you." Lauren replied, "At your new salary and with the added responsibilities for opening Talkeetna General as we discussed. Deal?"

"Deal." Shannon replied, "That's from all of us."

Lauren smiled, "Thank you. I'll have Patrick draw up your new contracts while I'm in Boston. Watch the fax machine. If Stephen happens by, please let him know we've come to a tentative agreement and that I trust him to handle the financials."

"Will do, Boss." Kelly yelled into the phone, her voice projecting the usual level of excitement she had witnessed from the young nurse every time she got a promotion or raise. Of course, it also reminded Lauren that Kelly would now be assisting her cardiothoracic staff in surgeries. She had a lot of work to do with the young nurse to get her ready and now was as good a time as ever to start to snap her into shape,

"Don't call me Boss."

"Yes, Doctor Lewis." Kelly replied, clearing her throat.

"I'll be flying you to Boston so that you can begin working in the cardiac wing at your old hospital for a few weeks. I'll want to supervise your work until you return to do surgeries here. Carolyn, you've got her for about five days tops, then you'll lose her from the schedule for at least three weeks."

"Yes, Doctor Lewis." Kelly replied in a serious voice, but Lauren had to smile when she heard a rapid clap of the young nurses' hands while Carolyn laughed, and Shannon told her to get a grip.

Finally, Lauren handed the call off to Bo once again, shaking her head. Bo hit the mute button,

"Are you sure you can trust her with a scalpel?"

Lauren shook her head, "She'll be fine. She's just a little rough around the edges… and immature."

"And hormonal." Bo added, turning back to the call.

"Well, think about my offer for the house, Shannon. Rudy and I will be moving back to the homestead tonight. We'll be there until we're well enough to come in and visit."

"Call us if you need anything. We'll be happy to come out." Carolyn offered.

"Thank you. Feel free to stop by any time since none of you have to worry about getting this virus. You can tour the property and stake out a piece of land." Bo paused, "I mean that literally. Bring four stakes with you from the lumber yard and tie pink ribbons to the top… pink tape ribbons, not the weird ones Kelly wears in her hair."

Shannon could barely speak as she laughed through her reply, "Take care. Be safe out there, Lauren."

"I will." Lauren smiled as the call ended.

Bo smiled, "Well, that went well."

Lauren grinned, "I love you, Bo Dennis."

"Oh?" Bo asked.

"Your generosity with our friends knows no bounds and you didn't snap back when she got snarky."

Bo shrugged, "Like I said, I'm working hard on holding my tongue. You do realize I won't let them build at the base of your mountain like Carolyn wanted to do in Trapper Creek, right?"

"Is my mountain at risk for avalanches?" Lauren asked, now curious.

Bo smiled, "It's a mountain, Lauren. Snow gets wet when it melts and then it slides since mountains aren't flat. It's the definition of an avalanche. Luckily for us, most of the snow goes down the south side of the mountain and follows the small creek into the river."

"Of course. So that's why the current on our river is so powerful." Lauren replied, nodding her head as the image of the yearly cycle was etched into her mind, "And why you wouldn't let me go up there?"

Bo nodded, "There are always avalanches on that mountain and the weather is extremely unpredictable at higher altitudes. Similar to Denali, its weather doesn't tend to follow with what's happening on the ground. If you see clouds over the mountain top, there's likely weather up there." She rubbed her forehead, "Now, I really need to go lay down. I'm a bit woozy."

Lauren shook her head, "You've been in bed for too long. You need to eat and get your strength back. Are you sure you don't want to stay here until you and Rudy are strong enough to take the sled home?"

Bo shook her head, "LJ and Kyle are taking care of the dogs and the kennel. They're trying to keep the road to the homestead plowed so they can run the dogs back and forth to the house. It's just too deep on any of the other trails we've cut for decent training runs, so when the dogs are here, they just play in the outdoor kennel. They offered to truck everything back to the house when I go home so that I'm not completely disconnected from my team."

Lauren nodded, "That sounds great, but Bo, can I ask – do you actually want to run in the Iditarod this year?"

Bo smiled, "The fact that you're asking that question is just another reminder of how badly I've strayed from my path this year. Doctor Gray asked me the very same question yesterday."

"And?" Lauren asked.

"I thought long and hard about it. The more I thought, the more I realized I haven't been journaling. I haven't been mapping new trails for training. I haven't been tracking the weather on my own, which is why I didn't see this storm coming. I have no idea what the Range looks like right now and by this time of year, I've usually been there and back twice. There's some very good hunting and trapping off-trail out there – actually down by Trapper Creek which is why I know the Mat-Su area so well."

She shook her head, "Anyway, I miss it, Lauren. I miss Harper. I miss my whole team. I miss the feel of running a sled. I miss who I am when I'm driving a sled. I think that's a big part of my problem. When I'm on my sled, I solve my problems. Right now, I'm just adding them to the weight of the sled."

Lauren smiled, "You are much, much wiser than you give yourself credit for, Miss Dennis."

She sighed, "Thanks. But I'm really tired… and a little bit nauseous."

Lauren nodded, "Well, let me help you back to the apartment."

"I'll make it on my own. You've got things to do before we can leave, so get to it, Doctor."

The blonde watched as Bo rose from the stool, seemingly steady on her feet for now, "Bo, I do love you… so much."

Bo leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on the blonde's forehead, "I love you too, Lauren."

Just as Bo turned to walk away, Lauren carefully gripped the back of her head and pulled her into a kiss, deepening it for a moment as her hand found its way to the brunette's low back, drawing her body closer,

She released her mouth, whispering, "I'm going to miss you… so much."

Bo smiled, placing a hand over Lauren's heart, "I'll be right here."

Lauren mirrored the gesture, "And I'll be right here."

Bo smiled, "You know, somehow I feel like I'm going to learn to carry you with me even when we're apart. You'll call me while you're gone?"

Lauren nodded, "And you'll call me?"

Bo laughed, "Yes and I'll leave you a single message if you don't answer… and maybe an additional text with a special message. No chains of thirty-seven panic messages. I realize you may not always want to talk to me and that's okay."

"Thank you for understanding. I'll extend the same space to you if you don't answer, though I will hope it means you're out on a training run… after Dr. Mallie clears you." Lauren replied.

"Ugh. Isn't there another doctor?"

"Sure, but she's the best." Lauren replied, "And together or not, I will always want the best for you, Bo Dennis."

Bo offered a tight smile, "Me too… for you. Lauren, if we don't end up together, I'll still want to hang out with you sometimes."

Lauren smiled, "I'd like that. I wouldn't want anyone else to show me Alaska."

Bo nodded, "I'll teach you everything I know."

"As long as I teach you to ride a bike." Lauren nodded.

Bo sighed, "See ya."

"See ya." Lauren replied, watching as Bo walked away.

When the brunette was safely up the apartment steps and through the door, the blonde took a deep breath, exhaling long and slow, resigning herself to her new reality. She wasn't sure how she should see this. She was either one step closer to being single or one step further away from becoming a wife to the only woman she felt she could ever marry and truly be happy. Regardless, what she knew right now was that she wouldn't be happy single or married until she figured out what she wanted.

Still, she was happy they agreed on how they would take a break. She was starting to realize that even when they were not in a good place in their relationship, they were still somehow on the same page. Right now, she had work to do so that she could leave.

First, she would need to call Stephen and Patrick to let them know of her plans. She hoped that Patrick would fly back with her so she wouldn't have to fly alone. She really wanted to talk to him about her options as well. He was her most trusted friend who was not in the medical world and she valued his perspective. After talking to the two men in her life, she would call Doctor Grace to give him an update on their plans to learn more about Mary's poisoning.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Homestead, Four Hours later…

"Can we go fishing?" Rudy asked as she ran into the house and dropped her bag on the floor.

Bo shook her head, "First off, pick up your bag and take it to your room. Second, it's way past your bedtime and third, you need to say goodbye to your Mom and Lauren. They may be gone by the time you get up tomorrow."

"Why are you being so mean?" Rudy asked, lowering her head.

Bo sighed, "I'm sorry, Roo. I'm just going to miss Mom and Lauren."

"But they said they might not be leaving for a few days until Kurt gets back." Rudy reminded.

Bo nodded, "But Kurt is trying to come back early which usually means he gets back for Lauren."

"Why does he want to take Lauren away from us? I don't understand. No one tells me anything." She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

Bo smiled, "He's not taking Lauren away from us. Lauren is choosing to leave."

"But why, Sister? Why is Lauren going away for so long?" Rudy asked, leaning into Bo.

"She's got things she has to take care of back at her home in Boston." Bo replied, putting Rudy's bag in her hand and walking her back to her room.

"But her home is here now. She said she was staying. She promised." Rudy whined, unzipping her bag.

Bo nodded, "And she is, sweetie, but you have to remember that Lauren is a very important doctor back in Boston. She had a lot of contracts that she has to finish up."

"And contracts are promises too?"

Bo smiled, "They are, Roo – promises she made before she promised us to stay. She has to fix things at her job, sell her car, finish the sale of her condo, sell the rest of her furniture, pack and ship some things that Penelope wasn't sure what to do with and then say a proper goodbye to all of her coworkers and friends that she left behind."

"Wow. I don't know what half of that means, but it sounds like she'll be super busy."

Nodding, the brunette added, "She'll probably want to spend some time at her beach house too. It's a beautiful place, so I wouldn't blame her for that – especially since it's about to get very cold here." Bo's eyes fluttered shut as the image of the white sand and calm waters came into view, "It must be beautiful this time of year."

The brunette sighed, remembering the party she witnessed at the beach house. She shook off the image of Lauren in another woman's arms and turned her focus back to her little sister,

"It takes a lot to move to a new house in a new state and the stuff with her job… well, it's complicated."

"Because of that Evony woman?"

"Yes, because of that Evony woman. How do you know about her?" Bo asked.

"I heard people talking. I hate her."

"We don't hate, Rudy. We may get upset with people or we may dislike something about people, but we don't hate."

"Okay, then I don't like her a whole lot."

Bo smiled, "Well, I feel bad for her."

"You do? Why? She sounds really mean."

Bo shrugged, "I think she's lonely. She doesn't have what we have."

"She doesn't have sleds and a house?"

"No, silly. She's got plenty of things like that – although hers are much more expensive."

"Like what?"

Bo cocked her head, considering Evony's possessions, "Expensive cars, lots of houses, people to do things for her, she owns a lot of businesses and she owns two islands."

"She doesn't own my island, does she?" Rudy asked, horrified at the possibility.

Bo laughed, "No, sweetie. She doesn't own Hawaii."

"Well, it sounds like she just owns a bunch of stuff that just sits there and doesn't do anything fun. It seems kinda stupid."

"That's not a nice word either." Bo replied.

"Well, she's not a nice person from what people have said. Why is she so mean?" Rudy asked.

"I think it's because she doesn't have people – not people that she loves and who love her back. She just has people that she makes business deals with... so she can make money. And I suppose she has people who are with her because she pays them to be. That's pretty much all she has."

"I guess that's sort of sad. I mean, if you have to pay people to be your friend, they're not really friends, are they?"

"No, I guess not." Bo replied, helping her sister up onto the bed.

"So she has a lot of money?"

"Yes, she does, but not much else." Bo replied, "Well, she did have a lot of money, but she doesn't anymore."

"So she lost all of her stuff, too? All of her people she paid to be with her?"

Bo nodded, "I suppose."

"Well, that just goes to show you then." Rudy said, flipping her palms up.

"Show you what?" Bo asked.

"Teacher says that money can't buy happiness. It sounds like when she lost her money, she lost all the stuff she thought made her happy. Now she's not happy and she wasn't happy before either. So, my teacher is right. Money can't buy happiness. Am I right?"

"You sure are," came a voice from the doorway. The sisters looked up to see Lauren standing in the doorway.

"Lauren!" Rudy smiled, running to the doorway and wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist. The little one looked up at her favorite doctor, not unlocking her vice-like grip, "How do you know it's true?"

Lauren smiled, walking Rudy back to the bed where she climbed up to sit between the two women,

"I know because I have a lot of money and I had a lot of things, but I wasn't truly happy until I had my friends and family here in Alaska. You see, all of the things that I love most about my life didn't cost a penny."

"They didn't? Then how did you get them?" Rudy asked.

Lauren shrugged, "I gave my love and received love in return."

"You mean like with Sister?"

Lauren smiled, "Exactly. I gave your sister my love and she loved me back. Now, I love spending time with her."

Rudy lowered her head, "I did something bad."

Bo and Lauren looked at each other, then back to Rudy as Bo asked, "What did you do, Rudy?"

"I listened in on your talk."

"What talk?" Bo asked.

"The other night when you were by the river. You were angry at Lauren because she wouldn't take a day off with you."

Bo sighed, "I was being selfish, Rudy. It was wrong of me."

Rudy looked up at Lauren, "Is that why you're leaving? Is that why we're not getting married anymore? Do you not love my Sister just because she missed you and wanted to spend a little time with you? Or is it because you don't want to be sisters with me?"

Bo and Lauren wrapped their arms around Rudy when her eyes began to well up with tears, her bottom lip quivering. Lauren looked into Bo's eyes, a pained expression on her face as she whispered,

"Maybe I shouldn't go."

Bo shook her head, standing up and kneeling by her little sister's bedside, "Roo, look at me."

"My heart hurts."

Bo frowned, "My heart hurts too, Rudy. So does Lauren's. We're all going to miss each other and being apart is really hard – especially when you have as much love as we do."

"So, we won't see Lauren again?"

Bo smiled, "Of course we will, Rudy. Her travel arrangements got a little mixed up today, but it will work out. Lauren is going with Mom to the North Slope and then – depending on the arrangements Patrick makes, they will either fly out of Talkeetna or Fairfield. If they can't get those flights, they will come back here and leave from Anchorage. If they leave from here, she might be able to stop back before she goes, but no guarantees, okay?"

Rudy nodded, "But you'll be back?" She asked, looking up at Lauren.

The blonde smiled, "Of course I'll be back, Rudy. I'm just going to be gone for a few weeks."

"Weeks! But that's like lots and lots of days!"

Lauren could see the little girls' bottom lip quiver, so she wrapped her in a big hug and pulled her onto her lap, rocking her gently,

"It's okay, Rudy. It's okay for us to miss each other. Missing each other reminds us that we have something very special."

Lauren looked up at Bo, carefully taking her hand, but kept her eyes on Rudy, "When we miss each other, it reminds us not to take each other for granted. I'll be back, my little Roo and we'll have plenty of days, weeks and years together."

Bo's eyes filled with tears. She leaned in and gave the blonde a gentle kiss on her lips before mouthing the words, "I love you."

Lauren smiled, her eyes set on Bo's as she continued to speak to Rudy, "I love your sister, Roo. I've never loved anyone as much as I love her. I could never be happy without her. More importantly, I could never be happy without you."

"Really? You love me more than my sister?"

"Uh… duh. Of course I do!"

"Hey!" Bo protested, but Lauren and Rudy just giggled.

"Okay, close your eyes." Lauren said to Rudy.

"Why?"

"Just close them. I have a surprise."

"Oh goody!" Rudy said, clapping as she closed her eyes, squeezing them tight.

Lauren pulled the gift from behind her back and held it up in front of the little girl, "Okay, open your eyes!"

Rudy's eyes went wide, "A new bedtime story book! Look, Sister! It's Dr. Seuss! Lauren got me Dr. Seuss! Thank you, Lauren!"

The doctor nodded and smiled as the little girl took the gift immediately tugging on the ribbon, freeing the pages of her new book,

"What's the name of the book, Roo?" Bo asked.

"Oh, the Places You'll Go, by Dr. Seuss!" She read slowly before looking up at Lauren, "Is it about going to Boston? Am I going with you? I can pack really fast!"

Bo frowned, "Rudy, you're still contagious, so you have to stay here with me."

"I hate being sick!" Rudy spat.

"There's that word again." Bo replied.

Rudy heaved a big sigh, "I'm sorry. Being sick sucks."

Bo and Lauren had to work hard to contain their laughter, but Bo managed to speak, "Not much better."

"Can we just read already?" Rudy sighed, "I'll find a better word for my angry feelings later."

Lauren smiled, getting a nod from Bo, "Okay. Under the covers you go then."

"Yes!" Rudy said, scrambling beneath her bed linens as her older sister moved to leave the room so the two could share some alone time, but Rudy stopped her, "Bo can you stay and read with us tonight? I like when we're all together."

"Of course, kiddo." She replied, moving to the opposite side of her little sister.

Lauren laid back, putting her feet up, "To answer your question – no, this book is not about Boston."

"Then what's it about?" Rudy asked.

"It's about each and every one of us and all of the potential there is for us out there in the world."

Rudy smiled, "I have… po-ten-cy?"

"Po-ten-shal." Lauren repeated.

"Po-ten-shal!" Rudy replied.

"That's right!" Lauren smiled.

Rudy turned to Bo, "What does po-ten-shal mean? Is it in your calendar?"

Bo smiled, "Well, you know how right now, you're a little nervous when you drive the sled on a trail, but you do okay on a flat road?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, as you gain experience, you'll be less and less nervous, you'll be faster and faster, and you'll be able to drive a sled anywhere you need to go."

"You said I could maybe win the Iditarod one day!"

Bo smiled, "Yup. Because that's your potential! It's what you're capable of achieving."

"Oooh! Potential!" Rudy said, now catching on. She turned to Lauren, "Did you hear that, Lauren? I have potential! Open! Open! Let's read about my potential!"

Lauren opened the cover and slid the book over to Rudy to hold,

"Are you going to read to us?" Bo asked.

"Nah. I want you to read, Lauren. Do the funny voices!"

"Hey, aren't we being a little demanding there, kiddo?" Bo cautioned.

Rudy lowered her eyes and then looked to Lauren, "Sorry. My teacher told me I can be a little bossy sometimes."

Lauren smiled, "Me too, but we can work on that, right?"

Rudy nodded, "Right."

"Okay. Here we go!" Lauren said, looking at Bo and Rudy whose eyes were now focused on the book. She smiled at the similarities between the sisters. Despite being raised apart, their features and personalities made their sisterhood apparent. Sliding closer so she could see the page, Lauren began,

"Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!"

Rudy snuggled into Lauren, "It's really exciting already."

Lauren chuckled, as Rudy turned the page and began pointing at the pictures. The blonde looked up at Bo whose eyes were brimming with tears. She mouthed, 'you okay?'

Bo nodded, looking down at Rudy, then back up at Lauren. She leaned in and whispered, "I'm going to miss this."

Lauren's eyes began to water as she whispered her reply, "Me too."

"Lauren! Come on!"

"Oops! Sorry." She smiled, turning back to the book, wasting no time getting back to her duties as chief bedtime book reader,

"You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself any direction you choose…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thirty Minutes Later…

"All ready to go, Mom?" Bo asked as she entered the living room.

"As I'll ever be." Mary replied.

"Are you nervous?"

"To go home? No. To meet with the Elders? A little. I may not know any of them and they may not know me. More importantly, if I don't know any of them, they may have been left with stories of me – stories that are likely not flattering considering who my husband was."

"Did Dad do bad things up home?"

Mary shrugged, "I wouldn't know, honestly. If people didn't like him, they never would have said anything to me."

"Even the Elders?" Bo asked.

"Especially the Elders. He was not Athabascan, Ysabeau. He was considered an outsider just as I was to his Tribe."

"So he was Navajo?" Bo asked.

Mary shook her head, "I never knew, though my Father did tell me that he was of a native Alaskan tribe otherwise my Father would have filed a protest stopping the wedding." Mary scowled, "It was always a mystery to me. He was not of our tribe, yet both the Elders and my Father allowed the marriage. I'm even more curious about that fact now that I know the kind of man he was. As an outsider, if he broke our laws, they would have spoken directly to him without me present."

"You believe your marriage to him was some sort of deal?" Bo asked.

Mary shrugged, "Arranged marriages did happen in my day."

"Well, thank you for not arranging a marriage for me. If you had, my husband would probably be dead by my knife or axe by now."

Mary smiled, "If your Father had his way, you would have been married off too old Wolf Alderson. He apparently made a very lucrative offer for your hand, but your Father was holding out for a better deal. Of course, he was also still interested in keeping me happy to keep appearances up with the Elders and my family, I suppose. Once they were gone…"

The elder Dennis woman trailed off, her thoughts traveling to days long past. Bo could see the horror in her Mother's eyes. She could only imagine all she had endured at the hands of Big Jim for she was certain Mary Dennis would never share the truths of her life with him aloud.

Finally, Bo broke the silence, "So that's it. I finally know. And that's why he and everyone else called me a half-breed. Although it's ironic that he told them my Father was some mystery man when all along it was him tainted my blood."

"There is nothing wrong with your blood. You are a full-blooded native despite not being fully of our tribe. You were raised by a strong Athabascan and the spirits accepted you as a strong Athabascan warrior woman shortly after your birth. It is your soul and the spirits who possess that soul that make you who you are, Ysabeau. You are Athabascan through and through."

"Yes, Ma'am." Bo replied, her eyes lowered.

Mary nodded, "Where is Lauren?"

"One book wasn't enough. Lauren stayed with your little girl. Rudy's not happy that Lauren is leaving and she's a bit upset that you aren't taking her to your 'native home'." Bo said using air quotes.

Mary nodded with a smile, "Ah, yes. She's wanted to visit the North Slope since you told her the story of our incident at the lake. What a time that was."

Bo chuckled, "You say incident, I say accident."

"Tomato, To-MA-to, Ysabeau. It's all about perception. I'm alive, we went on living and we were both stronger – and smarter – for having survived." She pulled out her knitting, "As for your little sister, I will speak with her again. I believe her issue is more that we have never been apart for more than a sleepover with Elise and Janie."

Mary pulled out her knitting and settled into the sofa to begin. Bo stoked the fire and then took a seat at the opposite end just as Mary asked,

"Are you sure you and Rudy will be okay here? I left two pots of Molly's stew in the ice box. Just be sure to keep it cold. That should hold you over until I'm home. There is fresh baked bread too. One loaf is on the counter and two loaves are in the ice box. One piece each with your stew and that should last as well. Hopefully we get answers quickly and are only gone a day or two."

Bo laughed, "We'll be fine, Mom. Really. I'm feeling better and it's not my first time being alone without you."

"Of course. It's just that you haven't had to take care of a child full time and she can be a handful when…"

"Mom, we'll be fine. Honest. If not, there are these things called smartphones that can call practically anywhere." Bo chuckled, "And I'll see what I can do about limiting your little girls' intake of the homemade bread."

Mary smiled, "I guess it's just me. Until the first sleepover, she hadn't been out of my sight – or Johnson's sight – since she was born. Her first sleepover with Elise and Janie was only about eight hours of separation. I'm afraid this is… difficult."

Bo looked towards the windows, watching the dogs play in the snowy backyard. It was a nice distraction until Mary's voice pulled her back,

"I'm sorry, Ysabeau. That was very insensitive of me to say, considering."

"You mean considering you had no problem walking away from me when I was just a little older than her?"

Mary nodded, "I know you will probably never see it, but it was agonizing to leave you alone… much like it is to leave her today. The memory of what I did to you will never leave me, so it only reinforces not wanting to do it to Rudy."

Bo nodded, "I suppose I should be grateful that you had a trial run with me on how to be a good Mom. You got to make all of your mistakes with me so that Rudy could have a better life."

Looking up at the mountain, Bo added, "She's everything I'm not and everything I might have been had you stayed with me. Who knows – maybe she'll teach me appropriate social behaviors?"

Bo turned to see Mary drop her hands and shake her head. She stared at the fire for a few moments. When Bo finally took a step towards her to break the silence, Mary leaned over next to the sofa and picked up one of her knitting bags. She removed a folder and held it out for Bo to take,

"I'm going to ask that you sign these. They are not the same papers that remain in the courthouse awaiting Lauren's signature. These papers are my Last Will and Testament."

"I will not sign those!" Bo snapped.

"Ysabeau, this is not me giving up. It's me being prepared. I need a witness… two, actually. I'll need Lauren to sign as well. Page thirty-eight is where the two of you must sign. I'll have Lauren sign in the morning before I go if I don't see her tonight."

"Mom…"

"Ysabeau, if not now, some day I will pass on. It's only prudent for every adult to have a will. You and Lauren should each have one as well. You own a home, she owns a business. If you don't get it done, it will leave a mess in your wake after you pass."

Bo scowled as she considered her Mother's words, "Lauren probably already has one since she has Patrick. I've just… well, until recently, I assumed I would die alone in the woods and the land would reclaim my physical body and belongings." She chuckled, uncomfortable with the topic, "I mean, I make all of my gear from the land, so it's only fitting the land get it back when I'm done with it."

Mary didn't respond, but instead returned to her knitting. Bo took that as a sign to open the folder. Once she did, her Mom began to explain the contents,

"The various documents award sole custody of your sister to you in the event of my death so that she does not become a ward of the state. I'll need you to sign them and Lauren to witness your signature. I will be sure that Lauren has no legal obligation to your sister unless she chooses to sign the adoption papers at the courthouse. All of the other signatures are already there. Molly is the Executor of the Will. It will take the burden from you in your time of grief so that you can focus on yourself and your sister. If anything should happen to me, hand that folder to Molly and she will turn them in to the courthouse. Judge Payne. He has all of the other necessary documents, information and arrangements."

"Um… who is this Judge Payne, Mom? I've been hauled into court enough by Big Jim and friends to know all of the judges here."

Mary smiled, "He had left long ago – after he ruled against Jim in a case. Big Jim is gone, so the town council brought him back and assigned him Chief Justice so that he can oversee the other judges – ensure they never become corrupt again. He is working on expunging your court record."

"What?"

"He's been reviewing your files at the request of Sheriff Thornwood. The Judge mentioned that so far it appears that every case was bogus. His words, not mine."

Bo stood silent, unable to believe that someone finally believed her side of the story – not that there was ever any doubt to anyone who reviewed the evidence of her multiple 'offenses'.

"That's uh… well…"

"Nice of him?" Mary suggested.

Bo nodded, "Yes, of course. But why would he… how would I know him?"

Mary smiled, "He lived on the North Slope. Do you remember your native lessons at the meeting house?"

Bo's eyes went wide, "He taught us drumming, right?"

Mary smiled, "He did and told you tales of the Athabascan Spirits."

"I remember him. I'm surprised to hear he's still alive."

"Well, to hear him tell it, his disdain for your Father kept him alive. He also wanted to see his grandchildren."

"Path and Slate are his grandsons?"

Mary nodded, "Two very bright boys who are slated to graduate from University in the Spring."

Bo smiled, "You know they work for me in summers and during their breaks, right? They've been working for me since they were about sixteen."

"Yes and lucky for you, they have no intention of leaving your employ. They told their grandfather that they intend to become your Architectural Engineering team this summer – with a big fat raise, of course."

Laughing, the brunette replied, "I guess I know who I'll be selling my company to when the time comes."

"You would sell your construction company?" Mary asked, surprised, "You're so good with your hands."

Bo smiled, "Honestly, I used to love building homes and small stores in town. Now everyone wants me to build bigger and better. I enjoy my small woodworking projects, Mom… prefer them, actually. I think I would rather build furniture and things for the insides of the home. I mean… look at all this, Mom. Aside from some help on the roof and mounting the solar panels, this was all me. I'm so proud of this home. I thought I'd be living here alone… planned to live here alone. But now, we have a family here… we're building a family here and I hope to build a neighborhood of tastefully placed homes along the river, each with a nice piece of land."

"You've never lost your ability to dream, Ysabeau. I'm so very proud of the woman you've become despite your parents."

"Despite my Father. You and your lessons have always lived inside of me, Mom. I'm sorry I was so angry when you came home."

"You had every right to be, Ysabeau."

"Maybe. Still, I don't want to waste any more time on the past. It's time for me to grow and move forward. The years are going to keep coming no matter what I do, so I'd better do it happy and with people that make the effort worth my while."

"I hope that you and Lauren can work things out, child."

Bo nodded, "Me too. For now, this is the right thing to do. We've only known each other for a year and we've both gone through so many changes. Taking this time now will prevent problems in our relationship down the road. I can't keep dragging her through my shit. I've got to put my past firmly behind me and become the woman I would have become had I been able to live in society as a kid."

Mary's eyes lowered as the guilt hit her once again, "Well, you can learn your social cues from Rudy while you teach her about sledding."

Bo tilted her head from side to side, "That's not a bad idea. Doctor Gray has been encouraging me to be an observer in social situations. Learn about the intricacies of things like body language, spacing and the spoken word."

"Intricacies? Such big words." Mary laughed.

"It's my word of the week."

Mary grinned, "That calendar of yours. Why am I not surprised."

"Before I was me, I was a total geek."

"My little bookworm." Mary smiled, pushing a stray strand of hair behind her eldest daughter's ear, "Such a beautiful woman."

Bo shrugged, "I'm my Mother's daughter."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

One Week Later… Homestead Kitchen

"She's down… finally." Lauren said, walking into the kitchen where Bo was cleaning up after dinner.

"Mom?"

Lauren shrugged, "She fell asleep in the bed with Rudy. I'm going to leave her there rather than wake her up. She's been having trouble sleeping all week."

Bo nodded, "She's antsy."

"Well, Kurt sent me a text while we were reading. He'll finally be home tomorrow. He needs a day or so to get some things in order around here and he wants to spend at least one night with Kelly."

"But…"

"Bo, I can't blame him. I mean, when I get back, would you really expect me to go right to the clinic and work for a few days before seeing all of you?"

Bo shrugged, "Well, my perspective has changed on that. If someone was dying at the clinic, yes – I would expect you to go to work."

Lauren shook her head, "Well, that's why Stephen hired Doctor Dala Mujambi this week. She's a young, talented cardiothoracic surgeon who will hopefully learn to love Alaska as I have. Plus, she's welcoming the slower pace of the clinic mixed in – eventually – with just two surgical days at the hospital. She's got two kids about Rudy's age."

"More playmates for my sister. That's a definitive plus." Bo smiled before asking, "So you're hoping she's one of those mini-me's you hoped for – that she'll put down roots here?"

"Yes. I suppose that's a lot of hoping, huh?"

"Hope is a good thing."

"I can't believe that just came out of your mouth." Lauren laughed.

"Why?"

"Well, you haven't exactly been the hopeful type."

"People change." Bo replied.

"They certainly do."

Bo shrugged, wiping her hands with the towel and turning to face Lauren,

"In my session with Doctor Gray yesterday, we talked about positive mental attitude and hope. It was a great conversation. You should hear what she has to say."

Lauren chuckled, "We had that conversation during my session today. I feel like we're having couples' therapy in an individual setting."

"She's ripping us off." Bo laughed, "Charging us twice for the same session that we could have done during our joint sessions."

Lauren nodded, "I'm glad we have one more of those tomorrow before I have to go."

"Oh? Is there something you need to say?"

"Nothing particular, just… well, it's a good way to go our separate ways." Lauren replied.

Bo reached up and lifted the charm hanging from the necklace on Lauren's chest, "Thank you for continuing to wear this."

Lauren smiled, "Of course."

Bo dropped the charm, heaving a heavy sigh, "So did anything change for you in the last week?"

"Are you asking if I'm still going to Boston?"

Bo shook her head, "No, of course not. I know you're still going. I guess… I mean… are you still coming back? To me, I mean?"

Lauren smiled, "Bo, if anything has changed in that respect this week, it's that my love for you has only grown stronger. You've been so… light. It's been a good week. I'm glad we had this unexpected time together."

"Do you miss the clinic?"

Lauren shrugged, "Actually, I don't. I mean – I thought I would. When Kurt told us he wouldn't be able to get back, I thought I was going to go crazy from boredom but going down to the fish wheel with Rudy while you and your Mom went to empty and reset traps was a lot of fun. I'm also happy that I got to see the whole process of how we get the salmon ready for the cache. It made me feel… I don't know… like I was making a real contribution to our survival for the winter."

Bo smiled, "That's what subsistence living is all about. Each member of the family pulling their weight. With any luck, we'll have enough to last us the winter and we won't have to deal with trapping and fishing beyond what I need to do to bring in money for sledding and construction equipment. The kennel store should sell enough to pay the restocking bills, especially with Iditarod season approaching."

Lauren nodded, "It's quite a balancing act."

Bo shrugged, "I don't see it that way. It's just my daily chores."

"Done one day at a time." Lauren smiled.

"Yup."

"I suppose that's the best way to live, right?"

"I've always thought so." Bo replied.

"So what changed? What made you start thinking so much about the future?" Lauren asked.

"I think that when I found love for you and my family, I found fear of loss. I've never known that before… I mean, I suppose I've always been in denial that Harper would ever die. I think that's why I snapped at you when she got sick last year. It's why I left her behind with you. I had all of these emotions that I'd never experienced, and I didn't know how to handle any of it."

Lauren nodded, "But you've come so far, Bo. I hope you realize that."

"I do and I can honestly say now that I'm proud of what I've accomplished." She smiled, "When Molly visited earlier in the week, we had a really good talk."

"I wasn't privy to the details, but she told me as much."

Bo nodded, "She told me how proud she was of all that I've handled in my life. I don't know what it is about her, but when she's around… when she compliments me, it really matters. I feel proud that she's proud. Does that make sense?"

Lauren shrugged, "I think she was a mother-figure to you before your Mom came back. I don't think that will ever change. I look up to her as well. She's quite a woman."

"It's funny that she's my niece-in-law. In a traditional Aunt-Niece relationship, I'm supposed to be the one giving advice."

"Well, I think we all know there's nothing traditional about your family, Bo."

The brunette smiled, "You're quite a woman, Lauren Lewis. Every challenge we've given you this week, you've met without hesitation."

"Well, I did have a little trouble with baiting a hook."

Bo laughed, "But you figured it out and now you're a pro. You hauled in some huge fish this week."

Laughing, the blonde replied, "Yes, but I prefer the fish wheel to a single rod."

"Yes, but we don't take more from the river than we need." Bo replied.

"Your Mom explained that as one of the main rules of subsistence living. The fish wheel is for the contracts you fill and the winter cache. Otherwise, we use a rod or net for a single fish for dinner and we use every part of the fish."

"The oil is precious." Bo replied.

Lauren nodded, "I've prescribed it to my patients."

"Of course, I prefer to toss it all into the dinner pot."

Lauren's eyes went wide, "Do you want to give me a going away party?"

"A going away party, huh?"

"You know I love your Mom and Rudy, but is there any way we could spend one night alone before I go?"

Bo's heart beat fast in her chest, "I mean… sure. I can talk to Mom in the morning. Exactly what did you have in mind?"

"Your famous salmon cooked in a pit? I mean, I know there's snow, so if you have to make it some other way…"

"Lauren, snow or not, I pit cook year-round. The hole is there, and the snow will provide good insulation. Have you not heard of igloos?"

"Do they really live in those?"

"I take it by 'they' you mean my people?" Bo snarked.

"I'm sorry. Yes."

Bo laughed, "Yes, Inuit people began building igloos long ago. They're much more efficient than this house."

"Really?"

"You're the scientist, Doctor. Did you skip that chapter in your books about Alaska?"

"Actually, they weren't mentioned." Lauren replied, "Have you lived in one?"

Bo shrugged, "Frequently. Actually, just before you met me, I lived on the Alaska Range for about six weeks just running that part of the course over and over to be sure I knew what to expect with the predicted softer snow. Out there, you're completely exposed unless you can find trees or a cave. We were caught in a bad blizzard, so I created a burrow for the dogs and covered them with straw while I built shelter big enough for myself and a few of the dogs to rotate in and out."

"They were okay in that?" Lauren asked, surprised.

Bo nodded, "They were essentially in a half-igloo. As you know, they're not too fond of warm temperatures. So, I built an igloo as big as I could, but it was… blinding out there. In the end, I could rotate four of the dogs in with me. I had a small fire in the camp stove and was plenty warm."

"You had a fire inside of an igloo?" Lauren asked, "Doesn't it melt?"

Bo laughed, "It's freezing outside and – unlike a solid piece of ice – igloos have gaps where the bricks are stacked. It allows the cold air to move in and hot air out, making a consistent temperature for whoever is inside. I had four little heaters around me, so it was quite cozy. I stayed there for days."

The brunette could see the blonde's big brain working a mile a minute, "But the smoke – how does it not poison you?"

"There's a chimney of sorts. A hole in the top that allows the bad air out."

"What an amazing invention."

Bo smiled, "Yea, my ancestors were pretty smart people. I mean, just look at the fish wheel, techniques we use for smoking salmon, trapping… yup, they were smart cookies."

Lauren smiled, "I love seeing you like this."

"Like what?" Bo asked.

"Happy. Light. Relaxed."

Bo sighed, "And I like after-hours Lauren."

The blonde laughed at the nickname Bo had taken to using this week.

"I'm glad we had this time without work, Lauren. I know it's not always going to be this way, but it's been nice. No kennel, no sledding, just walks in the woods with my Mom, cleaning our catch and putting the orders on ice in the barn."

"It's therapeutic work."

Bo shrugged, "It's fresh air work. I like that it's something that will directly serve the people."

"You're more like me than you'd care to admit, Bo Dennis."

"On the contrary. I'd love to admit being anything like you. You're brilliant, caring, confident and beautiful." Bo said flatly.

Lauren nodded, "So, do we have a date for tomorrow night?"

Bo nodded, "I'll talk to my Mom about sticking to Rudy's house for the night."

"You don't think they'll be upset?"

"I don't. I mean, with Mom going away, I think Rudy will want to spend the night with her and I'm sure Mom will feel the same."

Bo hesitated, but then asked, "So, this… date. Is it… just dinner?"

"It can be whatever we want it to be, Bo." Lauren replied.

"Oh."

Lauren smiled, "Are you asking if we can share a bed tomorrow night?"

Bo shrugged, "I'd like to know your thoughts on the subject."

"I would love to share a bed with you, Bo. As I've said many times this week, I love you. That hasn't changed. We haven't slept together in weeks." She leaned forward, her forehead meeting Bo's, "I miss you."

Bo closed her eyes, the scent of the blonde's hair filling her senses, "I miss you."

"My first flight is out of Talkeetna airport next week. If we don't finish up early enough up north, I won't be back before I leave. Maybe you could come to the airport to see me off? You won't be contagious anymore by then."

"Three more days. Just three more days." Bo said, her eyes closed thinking of how much she was going to cherish having her freedom back.

"Rudy only has two." Lauren chuckled.

"I know, but I can't exactly let her take the sled into town on her own." Bo chuckled.

"True." Lauren said, breaking into a yawn.

"Someone's tired. You worked hard today."

"It was fun work."

Bo smiled, "I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's sort of necessary every year."

"Well, now that I know what I'm doing, I can start helping earlier and maybe we'll get finished with your orders sooner."

Bo frowned, "I don't want you to get ahead of yourself… I mean, so that I don't get my hopes up too high. I'm just… trying to stay realistic, Lauren… and stick to our plan. We really don't know what will happen while we're apart. I just…"

"I understand, Bo and you're right." Lauren said, taking a step back from the brunette, "Maybe sharing a bed isn't a good idea. I mean, we've been having such a great time just sharing time with Rudy and your Mom… with each other. Even without sharing a bed I still enjoyed sitting by the river talking, the short sled runs, watching you carve wood. But still, we weren't really living our reality recently, were we?"

"No, we weren't. I mean, when you come back, we may feel differently. If not, we still have to add everything else into the mix. There's the clinic, the coming hospital and your new duties, my training schedule and getting back to work at the Kennel and my wanting to be more involved in my construction business again. Of course, I'll also be away on training runs and you'll be working longer hours as you start taking on surgical privileges so we'll be apart quite a bit. But I must admit, it was nice having three extra pairs of hands this year."

Lauren smiled, "I think your trapping and fishing business is going to become the family business."

"Oh really?"

Lauren nodded, "Yup. Your Mom said she had a blast."

Bo smiled, "Yea, she said it was really good to be back out in the wild. She said she finally feels like a native again."

"I'm happy for her. Now, hopefully I can find a cure."

"I have faith in you and your team." Bo smiled, "You're tired. Are you ready to head to bed?"

Lauren nodded, "Soon. Why don't you take the bed tonight? I'll take one of the rooms in the barn. It's really quite comfortable out there. I don't mind it at all."

Bo hesitated, but decided there wouldn't be a better time, "I can do either as well. But… before we figure out sleeping arrangements, my Mom had me sign emergency custody papers for Rudy today."

The blonde's head popped up, "You signed?"

"These aren't the papers waiting for you at the courthouse. It's part of a package associated with her Last Will and Testament. I didn't both looking at the rest - just the custody agreement. If you sign the others, they will replace the ones I signed today. She assured me you have no custody responsibilities unless you sign the other papers."

Lauren nodded.

"You're mad?"

"No, Bo. I understand. If anything were to happen to her, she wants to know that Rudy is cared for by family."

"She's afraid that something could happen to her while she's up north."

"From the poison? I've assured her she still had time." The doctor reminded.

Bo shook her head, "This group of Elders… she finally told me what happened."

"Oh." Lauren said, hesitating before she added, "Do you want to share so that I have an idea of what I'm walking into?"

Bo nodded, "He was in charge of the tribal funds…"

"He embezzled the money." Lauren concluded without skipping a beat.

"Worse. He gambled it all away. He told the rest of the Council that he had invested the money so that they would have something to fall back on. Mom found out that he gambled it at a casino in Vegas and told the Council. They began an investigation, but just like his dear friend Big Jim…"

"He was a friend of your Fathers?"

Bo nodded, "Yup and apparently almost as corrupt. She doesn't believe anyone died at his hand, but he definitely likes to get his greed on."

Lauren nodded, "Good to know."

"Lauren, these people are dangerous. Please be careful."

The blonde nodded, "In other words, don't go snooping around too much?"

"Exactly."

The pair were quiet for a long moment, before Bo reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. Setting it on the counter, she unlocked her screen while Lauren watched, curious as to what the brunette was doing.

"Bo? Who are you calling?"

Bo smiled, "Our dear friend Shannon has been giving me what she calls 'human lessons'. She wants me to learn how to do the things that most people know how to do."

Lauren looked to the phone when she heard the music begin. She smiled when Bo gripped her hand and moved it up onto her shoulder before taking her other hand, lacing their fingers and holding it between them. Finally, Bo's free hand wrapped around Lauren's waist and pulled her close,

"She taught you how to dance?" Lauren asked with a chuckle.

Bo smiled, "She said I'm no Ginger, but I'll get better with practice."

Lauren laughed.

"Of course, she wouldn't tell me what a Ginger is." Bo asked, leading Lauren to laugh until she realized that it was a serious question. Straightening her face, she replied,

"Well, for one, it's a slang term for a redhead – some don't like it, so be careful if you use it. But Ginger is also a famous dancer from the old days. Ginger Rogers is associated with another famous dancer Fred Astaire."

"Oh. I don't know them."

Lauren smiled, "You can watch old videos of them online while I'm gone."

"I'll do that. Maybe I'll pick up some tips to improve my dancing."

"Rudy can watch with you. She'll love it." Lauren smiled, "I'm amazed how much she loves old musicals and movies."

"And Star Trek."

"At least someone in this household is willing to watch it with me." Lauren smiled.

"Are you sure it's okay that she put some of your Con collectibles in her room? It seemed like they were valuable." Bo asked, concerned.

Lauren shrugged, "I didn't give her any that I think may grow in value. Even if they do, I think we have plenty of money, Bo."

The brunette nodded, "You do. Remember… no assumptions moving forward."

Lauren nodded, "Sorry."

Bo smiled, "It's okay. Anyway, I'm always amazed at how my little sister is game for trying anything. She's a courageous little kid."

Lauren smiled, "She's adventurous and curious too."

"I want to be as brave as she is." Bo said just as the song on her playlist changed.

She placed a soft kiss on Lauren's cheek, taking the blonde fully into her arms. She blew out a breath and took Rudy's lead, finding a little bravery to take a little more of Shannon's advice. She found the voice she hadn't used since she was a child and quietly began to sing softly in her girlfriend's ear,

'Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you. Like a river flows, surely to the sea, Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can't help falling in love with you…'

Lauren's eyes filled with tears; her mind weary at the thought of leaving this woman. They'd had an amazing week together. Bo was so attentive to the family. There were no fears, no heavy discussions and no negativity. It was like she had the old Bo back. It made her wonder if they needed the time apart, but at the same time, Lauren knew they needed to stay the course as Bo had insisted.

A month or so apart was nothing in the grand scheme of a lifetime together. But if they wanted that lifetime together, they needed to do the work now to avoid problems later. After all, they were both on vacation, so naturally there were no arguments. How could there be? There were no conflicting schedules no time constraints and no stress.

Still, this moment was amazing and the sound of Bo's voice in her ear sent chills down her spine. Her core was on fire and she wanted so much to take this woman to bed. Still, stay the course.

"Lauren?"

"Yes, Bo?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Bo. So very much. Thank you for this week. It's been amazing."

Bo pulled back as the music stopped, reaching over and hitting stop on the phone, "This is the life I've always imagined for us. But I want you to have the life you've imagined too, Lauren."

"I moved here because I chose this lifestyle, Bo… with you and our family. If I'm craving crowds and east coast life, I'll go to P-Town for a vacation. You and the family can come or not. I was thinking it might be nice to go there once a year. Invite everyone who wants to come. Maybe Memorial Day after the Iditarod is over, and your press tour is done."

Bo nodded, "You know, I was thinking… if I were to give up some of my jobs and you were to stick with the things you're committed to right now, we would satisfy our professional desires and still make enough money to live without having to dip into the Evony Fleurette Marquis retirement fund. It would lighten up one schedule so that we'd almost double our chances of having time together."

Lauren smiled, "Bo, you know I'll support whatever you decide, but I don't want you to feel like you're the one who has to sacrifice."

"Lauren, what have I sacrificed? It has all been about me. We need to do what you want to do for a change. If I sell my trapping and fishing contracts, I would just have the kennel, construction company and the Iditarod training. What do you think?"

"If you're asking about the financial consequences, I'll make more than enough money for all of us with my job at the hospital. I mean, considering we have practically no expenses because we find our own food and you built us a home that does not require utilities other than our internet, I don't see any negatives to it."

Bo smiled, "I promised you running water."

"Okay, so I would love to have that, but if I don't have it, I'll survive. I'm getting used to this life, Bo."

The brunette nodded, "It's something to consider – and, you should also know that… well, I'm seriously considering selling the construction company to the twins when they graduate from college this year."

Lauren's eyes went wide, "I had no idea you were thinking about selling that soon. I mean, when you mentioned it, I thought that you were talking years down the road."

Bo shrugged, "I was, but this week has been… I don't know – enlightening, maybe? I mean, Rudy isn't going to be a kid forever and if I'm spending all of my time working, I'm going to miss the best parts of her life. I really want to give her every chance to get into sledding. She loves it. I know she had a blast with you fishing and it's crazy how much she's obsessed with that fish wheel, but I don't want it to become work for her. I want it to be something she enjoys doing ten years from now as much as she enjoys it today."

"It's not fun for you?"

"It was this week." Bo smiled, "But usually, it's a job unless I'm doing it for people who really need my help. Some people just use me because they don't feel like doing it for themselves. They can find another contractor. I'll always make the trip to Mrs. Tinuit and I just agreed to take care of filling Doctor Gray's cache, but the rest could go to someone else. It would save me a lot of time and work."

"Bo Dennis, suddenly afraid of hard work?" Lauren teased.

"Well, remember that I only had to feed myself for a long time. I was never one to hunker down for winter. We just kept running or sleeping in shelter after shelter. I could hunt, fish and gather through winter because my Mom taught me how to survive no matter the time of year."

She. Smiled, "Now, I have this house and four people to feed, not to mention visitors. I actually have a cache I'll need to fill because I don't see any of you venturing out with me every night to hunt, fish and gather. I think selling my trade contracts is the right thing to do for the life I want to live."

"How will Tosh feel about that?"

Bo shrugged, "We've talked several times this week about the professional and personal changes I want to make. I explained that it was putting a strain on my relationships and hurting my training. He supports anything I need to do. Honestly, I think he's hoping that Michael will take it on."

"Really?"

Bo nodded, "The kid is lost. He has no goals. We thought he'd get involved with sledding or the kennel, but he's just not interested. He loves being outside. He loves snowshoeing, he loves climbing, he loves being on his own outside."

"Well, those are things he loves to do. What is he actually interested in?" Lauren asked.

Bo shrugged, "I thought he would go to college. He's a super smart kid and he loves math. Honestly, I had hoped that he would go into engineering and take over my company one day, but that doesn't look like it will happen. For a while there, after taking your emergency medicine course so he could ride on the emergency team, he was interested in medicine. But the chopper seems to be as far as it's going to go. He did talk about doing mountain or avalanche rescue but that seems to have gone by the wayside too. Tosh said that all he seems to be doing now is making money at the store to work on his bush plane or tour boat."

"Is he still giving wildlife tours?"

Bo nodded, "Well, it's slowing down now that tourist season is slowing. He really loves flying – even more than I do and that's saying something. Of course, those two things combined would make him perfect for my trapping business. He loves to fish too. We'll see what he decides. He has no business experience, but he's got the math thing going for him. I just don't see him doing the tours full time. You know how shy he is around people."

Lauren smiled, "Yea, he'll have to work on that for customer service issues if he wants to build his boat and flight tour businesses."

"I suggested that he try to join your flight crew. He said he likes the first aid stuff, but he doesn't want to have to take the emergency flight training. He feels like he already knows how to fly everything that's in the sky so doesn't understand why he has to learn all over again."

Lauren shrugged, "Because the F.A.A. says so?"

Bo chuckled, "Well, I think once he has a near miss in the air, he'll understand why he needs formal training."

Lauren nodded, "Well, hopefully it doesn't take almost crashing to convince him. Regardless, like you said, he's a smart kid. He'll find his way."

Bo offered a tight smile in return, leaving the pair in an awkward silence. When Lauren yawned again, Bo chuckled,

"While I appreciate the extra time you've given me since your last yawn, that one was a clear indicator that it's time for you to go to bed. Your eyelids are at half-mast."

Lauren smiled, "I am quite tired. All of that exercise and fresh air will definitely help me sleep tonight."

Bo released the blonde, "Good. That's… good."

"So, date night tomorrow night – do you want me to catch the salmon tomorrow?"

Bo shook her head, "I'll take care of date night. You just take care of your departure checklist. I know you have to check in with Carolyn at the clinic and talk to Doctor Grace. You also have to pack – again. Don't forget to grab your sledding gear. That's how you'll get around up there. I've told LJ to give Kurt Mom's sled, my backup sled and my backup team. I want them to get accustomed to that climate so if I have to use any of them, they'll be prepared for the Alaska Range."

"I can't take my team?"

"They're your dogs, so that's up to you, but I don't recommend it. They're young dogs, so their coats aren't as thick as their older friends at the kennel. Plus, all of my dogs have been up there at one time or another… except the ones that haven't made the developmental team yet."

Lauren nodded, "Good to know."

"My Mom will do most of the driving since she'll know where you're going and where the hidden dangers are. Remember, it's all permafrost up there. No trees. Just snow and ice. I don't know how the ice will be this time of year, so watch for…"

"Dark spots and polar bears." Lauren nodded.

Bo smiled, "And how do you spot a polar bear?"

"Watch for the three black dots in the shape of a triangle." Lauren said, her eyes down.

"Mom will show you where Poppy is."

"Poppy?"

"When I was young, she had to fire off a few rounds to scare away a bear who was coming up behind me. I said the gun went pop, pop. Ever since, the shotgun that I keep in the sled is called Poppy."

"You have a gun in the sled? I've never seen a gun."

"Beneath the basket on the underside of the sled between the rails is a hidden compartment that looks like a center board. I don't use center boards for support in my sleds – they're not necessary because of the design Kyle and I created. That leaves a space to store the gun so that no one can get their hands on it when I'm not near the sled."

"Oh." Lauren replied.

Bo sighed, "I know you dislike guns, Lauren but up here, they're a reality. You're not accurate or strong enough with an axe yet. Your first instinct the other day was still to run when we saw a bear. It's why we spent time teaching you how to fire a pistol and a shotgun."

"But I didn't run." Lauren argued.

"Because I stopped you." Bo countered.

Lauren nodded, "But I did pull out my bear mace and had it ready."

Bo smiled, "Yes, you did and that was great. We just have to keep working on making that your first instinct."

"I don't want to use a shotgun." Lauren confessed.

"I understand that, sweetie. I do. But my Mom insisted you learn how to fire a weapon because she and I both know there are times when it's your only choice. It's live or die and I, for one, would prefer you choose life."

"Rudy hit every target. I hit three of five. I've never failed a test in my life." Lauren said, her eyes down.

Bo laughed, "Bears are much, much bigger than the targets my Mom set up. I'm pretty sure you would have hit a bear."

Lauren laughed, "I suppose."

"Listen, let's not worry about that now. It's unlikely you will encounter a bear, so rest your mind and rest your body. I'll see you in the morning for breakfast. You take the loft tonight. I think I'm going to sleep on the couch. You can have the barn tomorrow night if you don't like the couch."

Lauren nodded, "Unless we leave tomorrow night."

Bo placed a gentle kiss on the blonde's forehead, "Unless you leave tomorrow night."

"Goodnight, Bo."

"Goodnight, Lauren."

Bo stood, watching as Lauren exited the kitchen. She listened as she took the stairway up to the loft – to the bed they once shared. She took a deep breath, exhaling her frustration. She knew they were doing the right thing. She just hated that they were doing it before she'd even left.

She doused the lamp and headed into the living room, spreading the coals to be sure the fire was sufficiently extinguished. She grabbed two of the blankets from the sofa, considering her options, then decided the small bed in the guest room was much softer than the couch. So, she changed course and headed towards the smaller bed knowing it was very cold last night and the guest room had pellet heater she could fire up. In the small space with the door closed, she would be toasty.

She pulled off her mukluks and replaced them with the fur slippers her Mom had just made for 'her three girls'. It was great to see her Mom settling back into life as a native. Her skills were unmatched, and Bo was learning new methods for handling animal skins and plants while she taught her Mom about wood and wood crafting.

She moved to the bathroom to do a little personal care, noting the empty space where Lauren's toothbrush once was. Early this week, Bo had put a second bathroom up in the loft and a third one in Rudy's House. It was getting a bit difficult to have four people sharing one bathroom that didn't have plumbing. It was an easy install and Lauren actually liked the composting toilet better than the bucket method that was in this bathroom. Plus, there was no bucket to dump – just a bag of sawdust and a downspout for gray water.

Bo moved back to the guest bedroom and shoveled an extra scoop of pellets into the stove before crawling into the cool sheets. She shivered violently. She closed her eyes, hoping for sleep to claim her, but her mind raced with images of Lauren. Her first glance at the blonde in Point Siku at the General Store, her first meeting at the clinic, finding her in the snowdrift when she attempted her first sled run and their first night together in the small apartment over the old clinic. Lauren's body temperature had plummeted after her near-death experience and she was seeking warmth. Bo had not suspected the doctor would be the least bit attracted to her let alone take her body as she did that night. The experience of the bold, sexual side of Doctor Lauren Lewis would be etched in her memory until the end of time.

Hearing a noise, Bo reached beneath her pillow, pushing her hand forward until she felt the spring-loaded panel in the wall. She reached in and gripped the handle of the large hunting knife, staying perfectly still as she listened for anything that could identify the sound. The door to the room opened, bringing forth the cool breeze from the unheated outer room and a familiar scent. She released the handle of the knife and rolled onto her back. There stood Lauren, her face and body lit up by the lantern she carried in her hand. She closed the door behind her, sliding the lock across that Bo had installed so that Rudy could not walk in on guests.

When she turned back to face Bo, she slowly opened the tie on her robe revealing just a touch of skin. Bo's breath hitched as her eyes scanned the long, lean, muscular legs, the small patch of hair, the soft, firm skin of her rippled abdomen, the shallow cleavage that Bo loved to lick, the strong chest, the kissable neck, and the strong jaw that held the most wonderful mouth she'd ever had the pleasure of tasting. She locked eyes with the blonde, the familiar curtain of yellow hair hanging to one side as she spoke,

"I'll go back upstairs. Just say the word."

Bo still hadn't found her breath, her eyes traveled back down Lauren's form, her core aching with need as the blonde spoke again,

"I'll take that as an invitation to stay."

Lauren placed the lamp on the table by the single bed, "Is this a bad idea?"

"I don't know, Lauren. I only know it's what I was thinking about right up until you walked in."

Lauren smiled, "It's all I could think about while I was laying alone in our bed, hugging your pillow."

She moved to the side of the bed,

"I know it will be a bit crowded, but I didn't come here to sleep on one side of the bed or the other. I came here to share your body, so whether on top of you or beneath you, I intend to spend the night feeling every inch of your body against my own."

Bo's breathing was erratic as she watched the blonde slowly remove one sleeve of her robe and then the other before tossing it on the chair. She leaned over Bo, slowly pulling the blankets and sheet down until the brunette's body was completely revealed to her.

"I'm glad that you haven't started wearing clothes to bed because you are a sight for sore eyes. You're just beautiful, Bo. So very beautiful." She said as her eyes scanned Bo's full form, slowly… very, very slowly,

"I can't predict our future, but I can hope for our future. Tonight, all we have is now and right now, I can't be without you. If that makes this wrong, then I'm turning over a new leaf and not feeling a need to be perfect… or right, for that matter. Is it okay with you if we do something wrong tonight?"

"Yes." Bo managed as Lauren lifted one of the brunette's legs, gently placing the heel on the three-foot shelf attached to the wall next to the bed. Since no one used the room, there was just a wind-up alarm clock - plenty of room for Bo's foot.

"This may be wrong, but it feels so right." Lauren said, watching Bo swallow hard when she took hold of the strong musher's leg, gently bending it at the knee and placing it out to the side. She moved to the bottom of the bed, her eyes locked on Bo's center,

"I must say, after weeks apart, I had hoped you would be wetter by now. I suppose I'll have to improve my performance."

Bo swallowed hard, her core throbbing with need as the blonde lifted a foot onto the end of the bed, revealing her center. She slid her fingers along the skin of her slim, muscular thigh before revealing them to Bo,

"Do you see how wet I am for you, Ysabeau? I didn't even touch myself. I'm so wet it's dripping down my thighs. The things I was thinking when I was upstairs in our bed…"

"God, Lauren."

"God? I'm your Goddess, Ysabeau. You are mine, do you hear me? No one touches you. No one but me. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes."

"This body only craves yours, Bo. Only you know how to do this to me. I think of your touch and my body loses control. I was laying in that empty bed upstairs thinking of your hands on me. Your fingers inside of me. Your mouth lavishing my clit. I came so hard and so fast, Ysabeau. No one has ever done to my body what you can do. Will you fulfill my fantasy, Ysabeau? Will you take care of my needs?"

Bo reached out her hand, offering it to Lauren. The blonde took her hand and ran it through her core. Bo groaned as she felt the slick fingers interlock with her own. Lauren stepped onto the bed, straddling either side of Bo's body, now revealing just how soaked with need she was.

Bo's couldn't tear her eyes from the blonde's glistening center as her hands slid up and down the long, toned legs of her lover. She gripped them behind the knees and pulled her down, moaning into the flesh when her lips met the plump, fleshy lips of her doctor's core.

Lauren's head fell back, "Gawd, Bo. You know exactly what to do with that tongue to make me feel so damn good. Don't stop. Don't ever stop."

The blonde fell forward, planting both hands on the wall as she looked down to find Bo's eyes locked on hers. She moved a hand to the brunette's cheek,

"So good. So damn good. Fuck, Bo. Get inside me. Please. I miss you. I need you."

The brunette wasted no time, thrusting two, then three fingers into the blonde, causing her to arch back, her hand flying out to grip the wall at her side. Bo watched the euphoria strike the blonde, her hips beginning the sensual dance Bo knew so well but had missed so desperately. Lauren rode Bo's mouth and fingers with wild abandon both hands once again hitting the wall over Bo's head. This was when the beauty that was Lauren Lewis amplified Bo's love for her. Tonight the blonde would add yet another memory that would be locked in her mind for life.

The blonde's tongue moved over her top lip, the long beautiful neck revealing itself as she threw her head back. Bo ran her free hand up the center of the blonde's torso into the space between her breasts, watching as the perfectly shaped mounds of flesh moved freely to the rhythm of her hips,

"Oh, Ysabeau. My beautiful, beautiful Ysabeau. Make me cum. Please make me cum for you."

Bo increased the speed of her thrusts, moving deeper into the blonde as she took her hardened nub into her mouth, sucking and licking until the blonde fell over the edge – not once, but twice. Bo could see the blonde was spent and slowly withdrew her fingers, as she lapped up the delicious remnants her lover had offered.

Lauren moved slowly, sliding down the brunette's body. Bo had expected the blonde to lay atop her so that she could hold her, but she did no such thing. Instead, she took Bo's mouth with her own, moaning into a deep, delicious kiss. She pulled back, running her thumb over the brunette's lips before inserting two fingers into her mouth. Bo teased the digits, licking and sucking them as Lauren spoke,

"I love how it tastes to kiss you after you make love to me with your mouth. It's so… intimate."

Finally, Bo found her voice, "I love when you offer yourself to me like that. I love the bold, sensual, unapologetic, sexy, Doctor Lewis. The one who belongs only to me. The one who only I get to see."

"You are the only one who has ever seen this version of me, Bo. You're the only one that I've ever felt I could truly be myself with. The only one I can truly take or ask for what I want with sexually… and not feel embarrassed or ashamed about it."

"Anything you want, Lauren. I will always want to satisfy you in any way I can." Bo reached up, caressing the blonde's breasts, "Even if we aren't together when you get back, I would never reject this."

Lauren chuckled, "Bo Dennis, are you suggesting a friends with benefits relationship?"

Bo shrugged, "If that's all I could get, yes."

"Hmmm… it sounds like how our relationship started." Lauren smiled.

"Was it really that bad?" Bo asked.

"I was wonderful."

Bo scowled, "Did we screw up by getting into the commitment thing too soon? I would totally own that mistake if you think we did."

"Oh, Bo. Did you really think we weren't headed in that direction anyway?"

Bo shrugged, "I guess we ruined any chance of figuring out what would have happened if we had waited."

"True, I suppose." Lauren replied, looking down to see Bo once again obsessing over her breasts, "I don't know why you get such a kick out of my breasts."

Bo sighed, "I know you have a bit of a hang up over the size of these little ladies, but I love how they fit perfectly in my hands."

Lauren sucked in a breath as Bo thumbed her hardened nipples, but lowered her chest to her, allowing the brunette to take her fill,

"Bo… you feel so good."

The blonde opened her hips, lowering her center to Bo's, grinding into her, "I feel like I'll never get enough of you tonight."

Bo released the nipple from her mouth, "I'm okay with that. We can just take this right through date night until you have to leave. You can sleep on the plane."

"Mmmm… that sounds perfect. Nonstop lovemaking until dawn, day after tomorrow."

"Nonstop. I'm glad you agree. I'll let my Mom know that we'll be unavailable until our departure."

"Bo, we can't spend the day locked in this room. Rudy will hear us. For that matter, your Mom will hear us."

Bo released the breast from her mouth once again, grinning up at her lover,

"We'll be using one of the loft rooms in the barn. No one will hear us out there. I put extra insulation in the walls of each room because there's no heat in the barn. With all of the body heat we generate, we should only need one bucket of pellets. We can take the composting toilet from upstairs for any bodily needs and we can take the canned peaches, cheese and crackers for food. There's bottled water under the bed in each room for guests, so we're all set."

Lauren laughed until Bo stopped moving, her face filled with disappointment, "You're serious?"

"I was."

"You were?"

Bo shrugged, "I am. I refuse to feel guilty over wanting sex with you… over wanting to make love with you. So, are you in?"

Lauren grinned, "I am – for both sex and making love."

Bo laughed, wrestling Lauren to the slim nook of space between her and the wall, "I'm going to love you until you can't walk straight, Lauren Lewis."

Lauren giggled, "And I'm going to let you, my beautiful Ysabeau."

Bo chuckled as she bit down on the flesh of Lauren's breast, earning a moan and a buck of the hips. She gripped the blonde's firm buttocks and maneuvered her own hips until their centers meld together,

"Hold tight, lover. I'm going to ride you 'til you scream." Lauren smirked, her mouth open as she made good on her promise. She quickened her pace, her eyes locked on her lover as her breaths grew shallow to match her pace. Hips dualed for control, Bo pulling the blonde's core closer, her grip tightening on Lauren's flesh. The brunette moaned,

"Lauren… you feel so fucking good."

The blonde suddenly pulled herself away, leaping from the bed.

Bo's eyes went wide, "Hey… what the…"

Quickly, the blonde dove between the brunette's legs, her mouth doing as it pleased while fingers thrust firmly into her lover,

"Fuck! Harder! Harder! Gawd I love when you get rough with me." Bo said, struggling to keep her voice down.

The blonde did as requested, moaning at the taste of the familiar sweet nectar she had desperately missed. Likewise, Bo couldn't peel her eyes from the vision of her lover pleasuring her core,

"Just one more vision of beauty for me to hold in my mind." Bo said, her breath straining under the stress of her pending orgasm, "Don't stop… please don't stop."

Lauren watched in awe of the beauty that was Bo when her eyes fluttering closed – a powerful climax ripping through her body. The blonde savored every sweet moment of her lover's ecstasy, giving all she could offer until the brunette's hips relaxed and her breathing returned to normal.

She crawled back up the brunette's body, her hips grinding into Bo's center once again, "You said nonstop, right?"

Bo grinned, "I did. Now get up here so I can give you what you want. I can't have you feeling all needy."

"Hmmm… what I want?" Lauren asked.

"Yes. Whatever it is..." Bo said, licking her lips as Lauren's center was brought back to her mouth, "…it is so sexy."

Bo pressed her lips into the blonde's center, awaiting the sweet sounds of Lauren's pleasure, but the blonde only responded with her body. It made Bo wonder if there was something the doctor wasn't completely comfortable sharing. Her mind raced with memories of their past year together. Was there a hint of something she's left unsaid? Was there a moment where Lauren had maybe not been as open as Bo had thought her to be?

Distracted by her thoughts, she didn't realize another orgasm was rocking the blonde's body until a flood of her pleasure filled her mouth. She drank her fill and then rolled the blond onto her back, pinning her arms to the bed. She straddled her abdomen and began to move on her hip,

"What is it that you are afraid to ask me for?"

The brunette searched the blonde's eyes, noting that her gaze drifted from her eyes to her hips. She wanted to ask again, but she waited, her mind searching for some hint of a memory.

"I love watching your hips move, Ysabeau. I've never seen a woman with a full eight-pack and when I give you a good workout like this, your skin glistens and… trust me, it just looks incredibly sexy… because I find strong very, very sexy."

Bo smiled, raising her arms up over her head to lift her hair off her neck.

"Damn woman." Lauren laughed, "Put those pecs and ceps away. I'm going to go blind with lust."

Bo laughed as Lauren's fingers glided over the flesh that covered her rippled physique. The blonde bit down on her bottom lip when Bo's pace began to quicken,

"I love when you use my body for your pleasure." Lauren said, placing a hand on the patch of dark hair, her thrumb finding its way to the hardened nub of flesh below until the brunette suddenly stopped her movement. She lifted Lauren's eyes to meet her own,

"The toys." Bo said, earning a shudder from her lover, "It's the toys. The bag of toys I found that you brought with you from Boston. You want to try the toys."

Lauren lowered her eyes, but the brunette would not allow it. Again, she lifted the blonde's chin gently until she saw a look of discomfort in the blonde's eyes. She rolled into the slim nook against the wall, propping her head up on her hand so that she wouldn't be tempted to grind into her lover until they had this little chat,

"Lauren, I said anything. Whatever you want, just ask. Please. Don't be afraid. I want you to have a lifetime of gratifying sex with me. I want the same from you. We promised honesty. We promised we would trust each other with that honesty."

The blonde hesitated, but finally spoke, "I don't want you to feel like your hands, your mouth, your tongue, your body… that they're not enough for me. They are, Bo. I don't need a toy to feel pleasure with you."

"But you want to use them, am I right?"

Lauren nodded, her eyes down.

"Are you ashamed of that?"

"I… well… in the past… I mean… I wanted to but my… well… someone wasn't interested in…"

"No. Stop." Bo said, pushing up on one hand as she shook her head and wagged a finger, "Don't you even say her name. If that bitch made you feel ashamed of wanting to use a toy in the bedroom, I may have to take a flight to Boston so I can track her down and beat the shit out of her."

Lauren chuckled, "I thought you weren't going to be so protective anymore?"

"Protective? Oh, this isn't about you, sweetie. This is about her fucking with our sex life!"

"Oh? And how is that?"

"My lover, my beautiful, sexy, bold, Lauren Lewis knows no shame. Not with me. Not in the bedroom. She doesn't hold back. She isn't afraid to ask for her deepest, darkest fifty-shades-of-gray-type fantasies."

"Fifty shades… you read that?" Lauren asked.

Bo shrugged, "Yes… and watched the movies."

"Wow. I never thought…"

"What? That I would venture into the somewhat naughty world of intimacy? Well, when the books came out, you might have been right. I was a little… conservative… in the sex department. But, it was winter, it was cold and I couldn't find shelter for the dogs who had been out for too long. Anyway, I kind of knew a guy at the theater in Nome." Bo explained… sort of.

"So, what are you afraid of, Lauren? That I wouldn't be willing to try your little – bag of tricks?" Bo asked, a devious smile on her face as she lowered her mouth to the blonde's breast, "Because if it's what you want, I'm willing to try anything once. Did you want to handcuff me to the bed? Did you want me to dress up and play nurse? Come on, Sweetie. Tell me what's in your little bag."

Lauren closed her eyes, biting her lip as Bo's fingers traveled down her side and over her hip leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake until they finally settled between her legs. The brunette teased as she spoke,

"Do any of your toys need double or triple 'A' batteries? Would I use them on all the right places so this body can feel things it's been craving since you deposited the first item you purchased in the bag?"

Lauren swallowed hard, "The first… item… was a gift… my… b-birthday… aaahhh."

The brunette slowly maneuvered herself down to the doctor's core, her mouth finding the blonde ready for her,

"And who gave you that one?"

Lauren's eyes fluttered shut, her bottom teeth pressing into her bottom lip before she muttered out and answer,

"F-friend… Gret-chen."

Bo smiled, replacing her mouth with her fingers, "And did this Gretchen want to use the toy on you?"

"Mmmm… Bo…" Lauren moaned, her legs spreading wider as the brunette entered her.

"Tell me about Gretchen and I'll give you more." Bo said, her mouth finding the blonde's swollen clit.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"She wanted…"

"She wanted you?"

"Yes." Lauren said, her hips bucking in desperation, but Bo withdrew her fingers.

"And did you give Gretchen what she wanted?"

"N-no. Didn't…"

"She didn't do it for you? She wasn't your fantasy toy girl?"

Lauren shook her head, "Bo please…"

"Am I your fantasy toy girl? Tell me, Lauren. If you tell me I'll give you what you need. Do you dream of using your bag of toys on me?"

"Gawd yes! Yes! Yes, I do! All the time!" Lauren shouted as Bo thrust into her core, finally giving the blonde the satisfaction, she sought.

"I'm going to help you make your dreams come true, Lauren Lewis."

With those words, the blonde came hard, falling over the edge before quickly flipping Bo over and taking her mouth in a rough kiss, her hands everywhere. This was the side of the blonde that Bo had not seen since their first night together. This was the frenzied lover that had initially made Bo retreat but then pulled her out of her shell and took her to places the brunette never knew could exist in a bedroom between two women. This Lauren, Bo would never get enough. The blonde was insatiable as they brought each other to climax multiple times before they lay spent in a tangled web of sheets slick with sweat.

Again, Bo lay beside the blonde a hand propping up her head while her fingers traced the curve of the muscle in her forearm,

"So, tell me more about why you've been so shy about something you've clearly desired for so long. I mean, you've got a bag of toys that you've never used, Lauren."

The blonde shrugged, "Well, when you suggest it and get shot down multiple times, you learn that toys are just for gag gifts."

Bo shook her head, "Actually, I saw an infomercial on TV when I stayed in a motel in a small town after the 2015 Iditarod. I splurged because it was the first time I'd finished in the top five racers. Anyway, it was three am, there was nothing on and there was this woman talking about sex toys. I don't pretend to know anything about the market on those things, but she sure did sell a lot of them."

Lauren shrugged again, "Well, obviously I love women… being with women, the shape of women, the way a woman's mind works, the way a woman feels."

"Yup. I'm pretty clear on all that." Bo chuckled.

"But just because I'm not interested in being with a man doesn't mean I don't enjoy the sensation of being… well…"

"Filled?"

Bo could see Lauren lower her eyes and it bothered her, "Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Lower your eyes like you're ashamed of that? I mean, when we first met, you didn't seem to have an issue with riding my whole hand and it was… well, not only a first for me, but it was amazing. I'd never experienced anything so blatantly open and well, it was erotic. I felt things I'd never felt before that night. But it seems like the more we committed to each other, the more you started to hide your true desires. It's strange because not even fifteen minutes ago, you were lost in some seriously rough and tumble sexual exploits which, I may add, I thoroughly enjoyed."

"Well, the chemical release of pheromones in combination with the stimulation of the Limbic System or pleasure center of the brain causes the rapid release of dopamine and endorphins in extremely large quantities making flooding the synapses with so many pleasurable memories that any inhibitions are buried beneath… and I'm boring you."

"No. Science. It's… nifty." Bo smiled, "I love hearing you get all sciency. It actually turns me on."

Lauren nodded, but stopped to ask, "So are you saying that sex with me hasn't been good because I haven't been as exciting as I was that first night?"

Bo shook her head, smiling, "What I'm saying is that those inhibitions of your seem to be acting like a brick wall and I'm concerned that you aren't satisfied. Of course, I do love let-loose Lauren as well. I just want you to be fully satisfied, Lauren and I don't think I'm doing that for you because you're not sharing all of your desires."

Bo shifted on top of the blonde, "As for the need to be filled, you know that I enjoy that as well. There's nothing wrong with it at all. Some women like it, some women don't. What feels good is deeply personal for every human on the planet. Unfortunately, there are some things I won't know unless you tell me. Now that I know, is there a particular toy in your bag of goodies that would do that for you? Or for both of us?"

Lauren nodded, "Yes, but well… some women… some sex-loving women… don't like toys that."

"Toys like what?" Bo asked, "Help me out here, Lauren."

"Ones that resemble… man things."

Bo laughed out loud, "Do you mean dicks?"

"Yea. See? You're laughing at me." Lauren pouted.

Bo turned the blonde's face so that she was looking at her, "No, Lauren. I'm laughing at the fact that my very smart, very important medical doctor lover is having difficulty with the word penis."

"I've never liked that word and I hate it even more when I actually have to use it."

Bo laughed harder, "Okay, so do these companies not make toys that resemble something other than… dongs?"

"Oh, believe me – I don't own anything resembling a… dangle."

"Okay, so what's the problem then?"

"Well, some of the things I've enjoyed are similar to… that."

"Wait – so you have used them?"

Lauren lowered her eyes, "Only one. Once. I was curious so I used it on myself. It was a bit awkward but it was enjoyable… for what it was."

"So what's the problem? Let's get it."

Lauren shrugged, "I guess I'm embarrassed."

Bo stood from the bed, pulling on the blonde's robe.

"Bo, where are you going?"

"I've gotta pee. Sorry. Be right back." Bo slid out of bed, "Damn it's cold! Stoke up that pellet stove while I'm gone, okay?"

Lauren nodded, straightening out the covers as the brunette opened the door, peeking out before she left the room, then closing the door behind her. She looked back to make sure Lauren didn't follow and then raced up the stairway. She opened drawer after drawer, then went into the closet. Finally, deciding that Lauren wouldn't want Rudy to find the bag, she looked under the bed and into the net that hung over their office counter. She jumped up, climbing the beam, traversing it until she was over the net. She pushed and pulled her mushing gear until she spied the zippered canvas bag in the back corner.

"Wow. You really were embarrassed." Bo smiled.

Bo climbed around the beams until she reached the corner, grabbed the bag and hopped down,

"Owa! Dennis, you are really out of shape. Take the time that Lauren is away to get your ass in gear. Once these little sores are scabbed, we're good to go. Two more days. Lauren will appreciate the muscle when she gets back and you know how much you love it when she appreciates your body… over and over again."

She walked to the window where the solar-power motion-sensor light would turn on when she waved at the window and unzipped the bag. She decided she'd better get some idea of what she was in for.

She pulled out eight packs of batteries of varying sizes, "Hmmm… that should about cover our needs for one night." Bo chuckled.

She pulled out a small metallic item about the size of her thumb and placed it on the desktop, then a smaller item that had funny little plastic feathery things on the end, then a long strip of beaded things with a battery pack attached, then a long thick phallic-looking thing that had two rounded ends, then a thick, long…

"Whoa. That… hmmm…" She pulled out the rest of the items and learned one thing, "I'm gonna need Lauren to show me how all of this stuff works. Definitely curious though." She said, examining a flexible ring about the size of a fifty-cent piece. She shook her head and pushed everything back into the bag, zipping it close.

Bo hurried back down the stairs, careful to check for any late-night insomniacs before rushing across the floor and back into the guest room. There, a nervous Lauren had the covers pulled from the side over part of her body,

"Cold?" Bo asked.

"My heater left me here naked and all alone." Lauren said.

"Sorry. I didn't really go to the bathroom." She said, pulling the bag from behind her and closing the door. She slid the lock across again and walked to the bed, "I had a look and… well, some things were in the movie but most of these things… well, you're going to have to show me how to use them."

Lauren blushed, "Um… are you sure, Bo?"

The brunette shrugged, "I'm actually very curious and… I want this for you, Lauren. Let's call it a going away present. But, you'll have to teach me."

"You want me to teach you?" Lauren asked, propping herself up on her elbows, "Bo, I told you, I've got no experience with this stuff either. It's just a collection of gifts and occasional stops at a store in P-Town where the shop owner doesn't let me leave without something to spice up my bedroom."

Bo smiled, "Well, we're about to sprinkle cinnamon and spice all over the guest room." Bo said, pulling out a flavored gel.

Lauren laughed, "We'd better check for expiration dates."

Bo leaned over, placing a hand on the other side of Lauren. The blonde naturally reached up and caressed the breast above her as she listened intently to Bo's words,

"Lauren, we love each other and love making love, but sometimes we also both just like to fuck. I think these items are for those times. Right?"

Lauren smiled, "Yes."

Bo tossed the toys onto the bed, reaching in and grabbing the large unwrapped phallus "So tell me, Doctor Lewis, what's your pleasure?"

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