Title: Outcast

Summary: Love is like riding a broomstick. Some people are addicted to it and others just can't seem to get the hang of it.

Disclaimer: I own the plot, which makes me very happy. Why should I want to own Ron and Hermione when I can do stupid stuff with them like this too?

Please read the following:

Okay a lot of reviewers have asked me what exactly Hermione had done to break up Harry and Ginny. Truth is, up to last night I had no idea. I hoped people would just accept the fact that she had and focus on the story but alas. I've been emailing with quidditch7 and together we've come up with what I think is a plausible explanation. If it's not, blame her. No just kidding. I do hope this will not damage the story in any way because I try to write it the best I can.

The taste of firewhiskey still lingered in her mouth. She stared at the wall as if in a daze. Why had she been remembering this? Or rather, why had her crazy mind come up with something this stupid? Like she'd ever get drunk! Why would she? Back then things had been okay hadn't they? She'd been friends with Harry and Ron and Ginny and lots of people got along with her. Why on earth would she do something as stupid as getting drunk? It could have gotten her expelled!

Still...it gave her the uncomfortable feeling that there was something she'd forgotten. Something she was supposed to know because it was important. Shaking her head she tried to focus on her homework but soon she drifted off again. It was always like that lately. Ever since Ron had been nice to her she couldn't help dreaming about him more and more. Little things could make her think of him. History? She'd remember Ron sleeping in class, looking so cute and relaxed. Polyjuice potion? She'd remember how the three of them spent ages in the bathroom trying to make it, having fun. But she always remembered things she knew that had happened. Why was this time different? Why had she drifted off and come up with something like this?

Unconsciously she had grabbed her wand tighter until her knuckles had turned all white. If there had been any hope whatsoever in her heart that Ron would change now she had been severely mistaken. It seemed like he was trying to make up for the time he had been sweet by being more cruel than ever. Alongside the normal insults he threw at her he now had chosen to call her a slut as well. How could she be a slut if she'd never even kissed someone?

Harry.

She shook her head, trying to get rid of the image that had just displayed in front of her eyes. Why was Harry the one who came to mind as soon as she thought about a kiss? She had always wanted to kiss Ron, hadn't she? Why was Harry...

The firewhiskey.

What if...

No, that was too ridiculous to be even considered. She'd never do that! She'd never get drunk in the first place and if she had she'd never have...

FLASHBACK

Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did it have to be such a public display?

Her heart ached. Ron. Her Ron. The one she had been secretly admiring for his courage and his humour ever since the end of fourth year, when he had 'saved' her from some magical creature she surely could have gotten rid of on her own. But he had jumped in front of her, pointed his wand at the ugly creature and made it go away and she had looked at him, seeing him as her hero for the first time. After that day she could never look at him the same way again. Suddenly she realised his hair wasn't that red anymore, and his body had filled out in all the right places, even if it was a cliché thing to say. He'd grown up, become a man, a very handsome man at that. Hermione Granger was in love.

Of course she'd never said a word about it. Too scared to lose his friendship and too convinced that he'd never look at her in the same way as she looked at him. No, there was no way Ron Weasley would ever consider her to be more than just a friend, a smart witch, a bookworm. They'd fight about homework, about his behaviour, and they'd joke around in the snow or at Hogsmeade, but they were friends. Just friends.

So why did this hurt so much? Why now? She knew he had been with girls, doing things she secretly wanted him to do to her. She had been crying in her bed, after casting a silencing spell so nobody would hear her break down. But she'd never seen it. Not until today. Not until right now, when she saw those perfect lips touching someone else's, another girl wrapped in his arms like she so desperately wanted to be. A groan, coming from his mouth, elicited by another girl. She felt her heart breaking into little pieces, so small that no matter how much you tried you could never make a solid heart of it again.

How she managed to do it she didn't know. She kept walking, deliberately slowly, like she couldn't care less. It was part of her perfect façade, the play she put on everyday to hide her true feelings. She even managed a little smile in Ron's direction, as if she wanted so say 'look at them. Young love. So beautiful'. But it wasn't young love. She could have handled young love. She could have handled him having a girlfriend because she would have known he had been happy and there wasn't anything she wanted more than him to be happy. But this wasn't a girlfriend he was making out with. It was some girl. It was always some girl. Why couldn't it be Hermione for once?

Because she was too damn ugly. The simple hurting truth. She was ugly. Her friends had never considered her to be beautiful, not even Ginny, who refrained from saying it by complimenting her smarts.

In her room she had been staring at the mirror like she had done so many times. Her eyes were suspiciously watery, but through the tears she had seen a bottle of firewhiskey sticking out of Lavenders drawer. She had never drunk a drop of it, but now seemed like a good time to start. To hell with her homework. She needed comfort and chocolate sure as hell wouldn't do. This wasn't some teeny-weeny little pain she could cure with chocolate frogs and a blanket. This was the big stuff. And firewhiskey seemed like exactly the thing to help her.

The first swig made her cough uncontrollably. What was this stuff made of? Ditchwater mixed with pure alcohol or something? Yuck...how could anyone drink this? She felt like putting the bottle away, but the consequence it would have (staying sober and mourning all day long) seemed worse than the taste of the firewhiskey. The second sip still burnt in her throat but it didn't feel half as bad as she would have thought. It made her feel numb, and numb was nice.

Halfway through the bottle she started musing about ways to make Ron notice her. Ways to make him notice that she wasn't that little eleven-year-old-bushy-haired-know-it-all-bookwurm Granger anymore. She wanted him to see that she had grown up too, that there were qualities he must have missed. She had grown up, yes sir! She had even developed breasts though most of the times she kept hem hidden under her robe instead of flaunting them like many other girls did. Her hair wasn't really all that bushy anymore, but since she kept it in a ponytail, which after all was the most practical thing to do when working with potions and animals, nobody had noticed. But she wanted him to notice. She wanted him to see that she could be all he wanted if he just let her. She could be fun, outgoing, daring even. But how could she make him see that?!

The answer came so quickly it surprised her. Kiss Harry, something in her head said. Kiss Harry so Ron will see you are worth kissing, worth spending time on. Kiss Harry so Ron will notice how grown up you are. Kiss Harry and then Ron will be jealous. He will be angry with Harry, and he will swoop you into his arms and kiss you like there is no tomorrow.

She sighed, closing her eyes for one moment and allowing herself to think of that perfect moment when his lips would touch hers for the first time. When Ron would wrap his arms around her, holding her like she was a secret valuable treasure that nobody else should ever touch. She could practically feel him holding her already, and it felt oh so good. Her whole body tingled, places where his hands had been felt warm and butterflies floated happily in her belly.

Of course, if she hadn't been drunk, Hermione never would have thought of such a ridiculous action. She knew about Harry and Ginny, but somehow, the firewhiskey had washed away all memories. She just knew there was Ron, there was Harry, and there was her. And she wanted Ron. So she'd have to kiss Harry. In her head it made perfect sense. The wonders of firewhiskey...

A little while later she was on her way down to Harry, who was playing Wizards Chess in the Great Hall with Ron. She had gotten rid of her robe and was now only clad in a very revealing top and hiphugging jeans. She felt sexy. Sexy and daring. She was going to kiss Harry and everything would finally be perfect.

She didn't waste any time on words, excuses, or even a simple hello. She attacked Harry's mouth like a hunter attacked his prey. Her lips were firmly pressed to his, her hands cradling his head so he couldn't back out of the kiss, and she forced her tongue into his mouth.

Any minute now Ron would wrap his arms around her and kiss her. Any minute now. She secretly smiled into the kiss she was still giving Harry. Why did it take so long though? Why wasn't he furious? Why wasn't he screaming and attacking Harry, ordering her to let go of the girl he finally discovered he loved?

When she did hear screaming it wasn't coming from Ron though. It was a female's voice, screaming all sorts of insults and threats. Ron, who had been staring at the scene, practically in shock, suddenly moved as well. He pulled Hermione off of Harry, exactly like she had dreamed he would do, but instead of taking her into his arms and kissing her like she'd never been kissed before he practically threw her away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Granger?"

She sound of his voice wasn't at all like she had expected. He should have sounded nice. Sweet even. And there was no way he would call her "Granger" when he was about to kiss her, was there?

"And what the hell were you doing Harry? Making out with that bossy ugly witch?"

Ginny was obviously at a loss for words, Hermione thought, because she'd always come up with the best insults ever, and now she couldn't come up with anything better than bossy, ugly...hey! What did I do?

"You've gone too far this time...stay the hell away from Harry!"

Ron's eyes were beautiful like this, she noticed. Fiery, full of passion. Why couldn't he be kissing her? Had something gone wrong?

If she had been any less drunk she would have realised that she had just managed to destroy everything. She had hurted her best friend Ginny, had destroyed her relationship by the look of it, and Ron was furious with her instead of Harry. Unfortunately, the firewhiskey had been a little stronger than she expected, and instead of realising what damage she had done and trying to fix it, she just watched the scene looking dumbfounded, not having a clue as to what was happening.

"We're over Harry"

Ginny marched off, but not before glaring maliciously at Hermione and slapping her. Ron did the same as he hurried off to comfort his sister. Harry just looked at her. Hurt. Angry. Surprised, because things had happened he had never foreseen. Shocked, because he had just broken up with Ginny. He loved Ginny. A lot. Why had they broken up?

Hermione turned around, running off towards her bedroom because suddenly she felt like this had to be all a bad dream. If only she could manage to get to her bed and fall asleep the moment she would wake up everything would be alright again.

And it was. Because the next morning, when she woke up with her head pounding, she didn't remember a thing.

Review please!

A/N: Okay this was the best I could do. I hope it was good enough. I've even managed to write the longest chapter ever which means I'm really happy! Hope you are too! Please don't forget to review honestly!