A/N: Hey there! This is the second post of the day, so if you haven't read Chapter 32 yet, be sure to read that one first! Enjoy! Cuddles
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Chapter 33: Always
The Homestead
Bo pulled into the driveway with Lauren sound asleep on her lap. She had really hoped to show her the idea that had come to her, but she also didn't want her to be angry if she woke up and found that Bo had taken her somewhere without her consent. Still… this was a good surprise, right?
Bo sighed, looking down at the blonde. In a soft voice, she whispered, "You look so peaceful. If you start yelling at me, I'll just remember the way you look right now…" she smiled, "… you're the one who told me that sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness than permission, right?"
She turned off the truck, "Of course, you were the one asking forgiveness at the time, so maybe it doesn't apply for me. Sometimes you have a different set of rules for Bo than Lauren. For example, you were mad at me for being late and can't see a way to support me two weeks before the biggest race of my year, but I spent the last twenty-four hours supporting you in one of many huge surgeries that I will apparently have to deal with in our life together."
The decision was made, "So yup, I think I'll start getting a head start on those favors you're going to owe me for all the times you will bail on me in the middle of something."
Bo considered their situation for a moment before she asked the sleeping blonde, "Do you ever intend to retire? I mean, Stephen retired and now he's back in the game full time. I wonder how Betsy feels about coming out of retirement."
In that moment, she decided that when she took the trip to Anchorage to see Doctor Gray, she should really plan to have lunch or something with Betsy. Maybe she would be able to help her to understand what life with Lauren was going to be like once the hospital opened.
Bo slowly pulled on the seat button, holding it until it retracted all the way back from the dashboard. She gathered the blonde into her arms and stepped out of the truck, kicking the door shut behind her. She walked to the back porch and laid Lauren down on the outdoor sofa and quickly walked to the fence. Gripping the edge of the small boat, she carried it to the water's edge, then went back for the paddles.
She checked her pockets to be sure everything she had picked up from the General Store was still on her and then went back to the shed for more supplies. Once everything was loaded, she went to the porch for Lauren. She picked her up and laid her carefully on the hay and blanket bed she had made in the bottom of the boat and set to the task of crossing the river. She hoped the sound of the river would keep her relaxed and asleep.
The moon was almost full tonight – another two days and it would reach its peak. Another twelve days after that and she would be at the starting line. For two weeks, she would be living off-grid – she would be in her element. She had never felt better going into an Iditarod than she did this year. She felt like everything had come together perfectly in her training while living away from The Homestead. Running the Quest had given her the right mindset for the race ahead. She looked down at Lauren,
"Almost everything. I wonder if you're mad enough at me to crush all of my hopes and dreams tonight."
She sighed, her paddles ceasing their movement, allowing the boat to drift with the current before she shook off her worries and forged ahead to the other side. It took another five minutes or so. The current was strong tonight. While the snow had continued to fall, the temperatures were rising during the day, so she was sure the big melt was beginning. Another month and it would be the start of Alaskan spring.
She carefully came into the shallows, stepping out of the boat and dragging it onto shore. She would let Lauren sleep while she got everything else set up, starting with a big fire to keep her warm and ward off any unwanted critters. If this thing turned into a disaster of epic proportions, Bo would still have time to get Lauren home for dinner. As of now, Mary knew not to expect them unless things went sideways with Bo's surprise.
Earlier today, the conversation with her Mom about her plan had gone surprisingly well. She had thought her Mom would be upset, but she was actually very supportive and understanding. While the kids had played with the dogs, they had talked about Mary's health and Bo's issues with being indoors. They had laughed about Bo when she was a child…
Flashback…
Mary smiled and nodded, "You never wanted to be inside, especially once you were able to drive your own sled to school."
"I don't remember ever being alone on a sled as a kid except the one time…"
"Let's not rehash that memory, child. You lived, you learned." Mary said, patting her daughter's hand.
"Is that why I was never alone again?"
Mary smiled, "I had to go into town for work, so we would go together and come home together. You always told me 'I can do it, Mama. I can do it all by myself', so sometimes you would get up and leave early. You thought you were alone, but I was never far behind. You weren't one to look behind you when you drove your sled, so you never knew I was there, but you did do some solo runs before you were of the best age to be solo."
"I didn't think I was alone on a sled until I was a teenager."
Nodding, Mary agreed, "It's the trauma you suffered, Child. It buried all of the good memories beneath the bad. Your Doctor Gray believes many will return as you continue on your journey."
Bo nodded, "I stayed away too long, Mom."
"You did what you had to do to find your path, Ysabeau."
She shook her head, "I think… for many of those months I was away… I was following the path of least resistance. Living off grid is easy for me. There's no conflict. The hardest part of my day is deciding whether to have rabbit or fish."
Mary nodded, "It's ironic. Most people would think that the way you live is the greater hardship."
"When I left, there was so much noise in my head. I just welcomed the silence while I was away."
"As they say… baby steps, Ysabeau. Be patient with yourself. You grew accustomed to people once before, it will happen again. However, you must remember that setting boundaries is something we all must learn to do. It's okay to say 'no' to those you love sometimes. Stop allowing people to make decisions for you, to dictate where you must be and when, or to ask for favors when you already have things to do."
"I don't like to disappoint people." Bo replied.
Mary smiled, "You always were a people pleaser. Just remember that relationships are about give AND take. When people are only taking from you, it's time to change your company."
Bo cocked her head, "Are you suggesting there are people in my life that I need to…"
"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm simply saying, set boundaries and don't be afraid to be sure people know what your priorities are in life."
"Rudy."
Mary nodded, "And that makes me very happy, but your sister is my responsibility as long as I still draw breath."
"Yea, well if you don't take care of yourself and take your medicine, that won't be long."
"I'm back on track and feeling better after just a few days. Look at me sitting on the porch with you. Two days ago, I was lucky to be out of that bed. Coming outside was impossible. I'm back on track, Child. Let's focus on your priorities."
"You getting better is another priority." Bo countered.
"And Lauren? Where does she fall on your priority list?"
Bo was quiet, unsure of how to respond.
Mary smiled, "You won't like this, but all of those years of fighting with your father have left you with a thick suit of armor."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Bo asked in a defensive tone.
"You have never told me – or most of the family – how you feel about Lauren. You never show affection to Lauren in front of us. You tend to keep your distance. Why?"
Bo shrugged, "It's personal."
"You intend to marry this woman, yet you hide your love for her?"
"I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable." Bo replied.
"Or is it that you don't want to feel uncomfortable?" Mary challenged.
"I've just… people don't always believe that two women should… you know."
"Love each other if it's what they feel?"
Bo shook her head, "Mom, you and I were raised in a village that believed love was sent by the Spirits and – as such – came in many forms. The world outside of that village can be cruel… hateful even. I don't want to deal with the hatred and discomfort of others."
"So, you avoid showing the love to this woman who doesn't seem to care what the outside world believes? Have you ever considered that she senses your discomfort and may believe you are embarrassed to be with her?"
"Lauren knows I love her!" Bo countered.
"Behind closed doors, yes. And otherwise? She is a celebrated surgeon around the world. You are a celebrated Musher around the world. Do you fear putting your love out there into the world?"
Bo shrugged, "I guess I'd never thought about it."
Mary nodded, "Maybe you should. Maybe then, being indoors would not be so… suffocating."
Bo sat with Mary's words for a moment. When she didn't understand what her Mom was trying to say, she knew there was a lesson in the words. This one, she couldn't quite figure out. She wanted to ask, but Mary Dennis was not one to spell things out. She loved the cryptic talk. She loved making Bo figure things out for herself. That much of her childhood she remembered well. Her first sled was built from old sled slats and parts, nuts, bolts, line clips and a large spool of woven twine. Her Mom put it all in a pile in the barn and told her to build a sled she could drive to school on Monday. Bo laughed at the memory.
"Something funny, Child?"
Bo grinned, looking out across the river, "I was just thinking about the first sled I built as a kid. You dropped a bunch of random pieces from old sleds in a pile and told me to build a sled I could drive to school on Monday.
"And you did."
"Mom, the handle fell off about a mile from school." Bo laughed.
Mary smiled, "And we hitched your dogs to my team, I sat on the bench and you drove the rest of the way into town with your busted sled in tow."
"The sled didn't get me there, let alone back home."
Mary shrugged, "You were what – nine years old? Ysabeau, your little sister and her friend learned to build a sled with Kyle because she showed them how – step by step – from a sled kit. You took a pile of sled parts and put them together into a sturdy sled that lasted ten miles. You built that sled with absolutely no help from anyone. Your brother tried to help you, but you told him to go away – you wanted to do it by yourself."
"If I had let him help, it probably would have held together."
"Probably, but what would you have learned?" Mary asked.
"How to build a sled."
"How to build a sled your brother's way. But my way, you learned how to handle a broken sled, how to keep your dogs safe when the sled is broken, what to do when you're being dragged by a team of dogs and just enough fear over what might have happened if I hadn't been five minutes behind you."
Bo smiled, "I was terrified. I was all alone with no one and nothing around. I had always relied on the dogs knowing the way, but if I lifted the brake, they were going to drag me there. I didn't know what to do."
Mary nodded, "But before that, you kept asking me to let you go on your own. You insisted you knew how to handle anything that might happen."
"I was a stubborn, cocky kid, eh?"
"A little bit." Mary chuckled, "That day would have prevented weaker, less determined children from ever getting on a sled again. But not my Ysabeau. As soon as you got home from school, you pulled your broken sled into the barn and got to work figuring out what went wrong. You fixed it. All by yourself."
Bo smiled, "I do remember that. I was so proud driving into town on my own sled the next day."
Mary nodded, "That's when you really got into sled building. Do you remember the Judge helping you to sell your sleds to other kids?"
Bo laughed, "I wanted to sell them for a dollar. My first lesson in business."
"You cost me over a hundred dollars in materials on that first sale, but you promised to pay me back with interest."
"I learned about interest?" Bo smiled.
Mary grinned, "The Judge was good to you, Bo. He looked out for you. He was going to take you in if I ever left, but he got run out of town long before then. I turned to your teacher…"
Bo nodded, "I understand now."
"Understand what, Child?"
"What you said earlier about suffocating." Bo explained, "I was such a free-spirited kid who wasn't afraid of anything. I was outgoing, I didn't care what the other kids said or thought about me. I was a kid on a mission to do whatever I felt like doing at any given time. I was curious and wanted to know everything about… well, everything."
"And?" Mary asked, prompting her daughter to continue.
"Somewhere along the road, I turned inward – I lost myself… my true self. I mean, I think all of the businesses I own reflect my childhood curiosity, but they also represent my current level of chaos. I have a million things to do with my time but none of those things reflect who I really am. They reflect things that other people told me I was good at. It was clients who decided I had a knack for building houses. It was Kyle who pulled me into building sleds and now I'm building these high-tech things for customers and – they're all about winning races. I miss the tradition."
"You miss wood." Mary said matter-of-factly.
Bo almost choked, "Mom."
Mary stared at her daughter before she realized what she had said, "Not the sexual kind, Ysabeau."
Bo coughed, "Mom!"
"What? I wasn't born yesterday and I did have four children."
Bo shook her head, "You surprise me sometimes."
"Always keep 'em guessing." Mary smirked.
"What did they do to you when they moved you back east?"
Mary laughed, "I did get an education on the ways of the Lower Forty-Eight. Why do you think I chose Hawaii before I came back here?" She patted Bo's hand, "So what else have you learned about yourself?"
"This claustrophobic feeling I have is more than just the roof over my head. It's about feeling forced onto a path I have no true desire to walk. I've always been free to be myself. When I was younger, I never cared what people thought. I was very much the 'live the life I choose' type of kid. I think the suffocation is from choking back my truth, from feeling caged by what others believe I should be doing and feeling limited by a routine or schedule."
"Yet, a schedule is something you tend to keep. Wake up, feed the dogs, check your equipment, feed yourself, take the team out, come home, rub down the dogs, feed the dogs, check your equipment, repair your equipment, feed yourself and then deal with phone calls to the people running the other businesses before settling in with your loved ones. Let's be honest, Ysabeau… anything between what you need to do for the dogs and seeing Lauren is really optional during race season."
Bo looked at Mary, "I love seeing you and Rudy."
Mary nodded, "You do, but you don't have to do that every day – at least not on demand. Your little sister needs to learn to entertain herself and she needs to learn the ways of the wild. I'll be well enough to teach her soon. Until then…"
"Mom, until then, I'll start the lessons. Seriously – Lauren loves Rudy just as much as I do. There's no reason to shut her out."
"I'm just suggesting taking some space for the two of you to bond as a couple – particularly in your first year of marriage."
Bo nodded, but there was something else on her mind… something her mom said earlier in their chat was connecting, "Mom, do you think my sexuality is one of the things I'm choking back? That it's suffocating me not to be more open about my relationship with Lauren?"
"I didn't say that." Mary replied.
"You never would, but I'm right. I know I am." Bo said, "No more holding back."
"Within reason. I have no desire to speak to my child about the birds and the bees just yet and when the time comes, I'm leaving it to Lauren."
"Lauren?"
Mary grinned, "Apparently, she explained a fish version of the birds and the bees when Rudy was identifying fish from a book over at Carolyn and Shannon's the other day."
"Well, she is a doctor."
"Apparently Shannon was "too chicken" to explain – Rudy's words, not mine."
"She's a nurse!"
Mary shrugged, "Apparently that isn't a qualifier."
Bo smiled, her gaze set on the land across the river, "Well, I think I have a solution to all of my issues. I'm not sure that it will work for Lauren, but I'm going to ask her and see what she thinks."
"I'm all ears."
Bo turned towards her Mom, "Okay. Well, you know how we talked about how I built this house?"
Mary nodded, "You found the only swath of solid land on acres and acres of swamp land to gain access to that river. You waited for mother nature to make more of the land viable and then started building the house one log at a time."
"I stayed in the house when it was almost finished and by the time I put the roof on, I didn't even feel like I was inside."
"Accommodation."
"What?" Bo asked.
"Something your Doctor Gray taught me. We become accustomed to things if they happen slowly enough. It's called accommodation."
Bo nodded, "Exactly. So, I think I have to do that again."
"Build a house?" Mary asked.
Bo smiled, "Tell me what you think of this…"
End of Flashback
"Bo?" Lauren called, sitting up in the boat in a panic.
The brunette rushed to her side, helping her out of the boat, "Hey, sleepy head. I thought you were going to sleep until tomorrow."
Lauren walked beside Bo to the firepit, but looked all around as she followed, "Where are we?"
Bo nodded, pointing across the river, "The Homestead is right there."
"Why in the world are we over here?"
"It's called privacy. Things have gotten pretty crowded on that side of the river – don't you think?"
Lauren smiled, scanning the bank, "I hadn't thought of it that way, but now that you mention it, from this side, you can see the other houses."
"Apparently they're called Cottages according to township zoning laws." Bo clarified, "I still own the land until the zoning subdivisions go through on the land."
"Are you sure you want to do that?" Lauren asked.
"What do you mean?"
Lauren shrugged, "Bo, you bought this land to have privacy away from the rest of the world. If you subdivide the land and sell it to each of the owners – family and friends or not – you open the properties up to a potential sale to people who may not respect your boundaries down the road. Anyone could move into any house should someone sell. Remember, like us, they will all age and possibly be relocated to assisted living or nursing homes. The properties will be sold or become state properties. They may or may not have children who will take over the land and what you've built here. What about Rudy and Elise? What if they don't want strangers as neighbors? Remember, they're going to grow up on this land. I'm sure you've seen this in your line of work."
Bo looked up, staring across the water, "I hadn't thought of that."
Lauren nodded, "You lead with your heart, not your business knowledge when it comes to your family and friends."
"You know, I had a chat with my mom about boundaries earlier today."
"Oh?"
"I made salmon." Bo replied, as she began to dig up the pit.
Lauren shook her head, "So that's it? We're not going to discuss it?"
Lifting the pot from the hole, she grabbed a bowl and filled it for the blonde, before nodding to the dining area, "I built a shelter and two single cots earlier today."
Lauren took the bowl and the hot tinfoil bundle Bo offered, "Built?"
Bo shrugged, "I was done all of my chores, the kids were playing in the yard while Mom and Molly watched. There was nothing for me to do, but I wanted to stay close by in case the kids had to go back to the hospital. I was just a shout away and… well, I had this idea, so… yea. I built the cots. The tinfoil is bread. It's been cooking most of the day at a shallower level, so it should be done."
"You baked bread?"
Bo shrugged, "You love fresh bread."
"I do, but this must have taken forever."
Bo shook her head, "Part of my daily routine."
Lauren nodded, "So this is how you live out on your own?"
"Living off grid doesn't have to mean you don't eat well." Bo said, digging up another pot.
"What's that one?"
Bo shrugged, "Venison stew."
"You made two dinners?"
"I'm used to cooking for nineteen." Bo smiled.
"Wow. You have a whole kitchen here."
Bo nodded, "Well, when you leave food cooking all day, you have to make sure animals can't get at it. Otherwise, you would be watching me fish right now."
"This bread is amazing!" Lauren said, "And the stew is divine."
"Glad you approve." Bo said, coming to sit next to Lauren on the other cot. She unwrapped the bread and took a bite, "Not bad at all. Next time, I'll make you my cinnamon bread."
"Mmmm. I love cinnamon bread." Lauren replied.
Bo laughed, "I love that you love my cooking."
The blonde held up a finger, "Your outdoor cooking, though I will applaud your attempt at an omelet on the stove last summer."
"In my defense, my mom had put the frozen broccoli in a different bag, so there were no directions for how to cook it."
"Seriously? You wouldn't know to thaw the broccoli before putting it in the eggs?"
Bo shrugged, "What can I say? I usually cook with fresh ingredients – not frozen."
"That is not true! We've got a cache of frozen food that says otherwise."
"Okay, so I just wasn't thinking."
"Thank you." Lauren laughed, "If there was a competition for outdoor cooking, you would win hands down without a doubt."
Bo grinned, "Thank you."
The pair sat in silence, eating their stew and taking in the scene of life across the river. The large windows of The Homestead gave full view of Mary and Rudy sitting in the living room by the fire reading a book. Tosh was home and out on the riverbank fishing. Shannon and Carolyn were probably still out to dinner.
"So, you split Shannon and Carolyn's shifts up?"
Lauren shook her head, "Carolyn did that. Do you think they'll be okay there by themselves?"
"Mom has been teaching them, so I'm sure they'll be okay. If they're not, we'll hear them if they shout. That's the thing about raised voices out here. You can hear a conversation from fifty yards away."
Lauren nodded, placing her bowl on the ground beside her with the tinfoil and fork inside, "So, are you ready to tell me why we're really here?"
Bo lowered her head. She picked at one of the calluses on her hands until Lauren took the hand in her own. She turned on her headlamp and examined the damaged skin,
"I'll shave that off for you if you come by the clinic." She checked the others, "I'll shave them all off for you. Bo, we talked about this. You can't…"
"I know, I know. I can't let them get this big. They'll tear and then they'll get infected. I've torn callouses before, Lauren."
"Yes, and the last time you couldn't use your hand for a week. You're two weeks away from the Iditarod. These need care now… and if you have any ideas of getting me naked at some point and time, these hands will not touch my skin until they're taken care of."
"I'll stop by the clinic the next time you're there." Bo said, before realizing what Lauren was saying, "Wait – I thought you would be at the hospital from now on."
Lauren sighed, "I just realized today that I had jumped back onto the same old merry-go-round with Thea's surgery. It's not a life I want, Bo. Not for me and not for us. So, after we hung up earlier, I called Patrick and asked if we could talk later, then I called Stephen. We pushed the staff meeting we were supposed to have tomorrow to Wednesday so that we could have individual meetings with the doctors we've hired. We're going to do some rearranging starting with me working at the clinic."
"What?" Bo asked, shocked.
Lauren shrugged, "I was there with Amelia today, Bo. She was complaining about the Family Practice doctors and how they weren't following the shift schedule with everyone else. She's still living in the 'I'm better than you because I'm a surgeon' world and I can't have that at the clinic. Our patients go there first because they trust the people that are there. She's not a good fit. I need to be there for now."
Bo nodded, "I can speak as a former patient there that, well… she sure rubbed me the wrong way."
"I know and I should have listened to you… and Shannon… and especially Carolyn. I've been making excuses for her attitude because she's an exceptional Epidemiologist, but she belongs in a hospital setting where she can supervise like-minded physicians from her own department."
"So does that mean you're demoting the doctor who was going to be chief of that department at the hospital?"
Lauren shook her head, "No. We're going to make the clinic a Family Practice and Trauma Center if you'll allow us to use the old barn."
"The old barn?"
Lauren nodded, "You don't use the loft in there…"
"The whole thing has kind of become storage now that we've built the Kennel, Vet Hospital and the Pro Shop, so we can give you whatever you need, but it's not the most sterile environment. I'd have to have the guys do some work on the foundation and make sure the loft is safe."
"The clinic is built on pylons and the second-floor apartment is the same height as the loft of the barn. Can you build a hallway that would connect the top floors of each building so that we can build the trauma center in the loft of the barn behind the clinic? If it's on the top floor, we could move patients right through the clinic to the trauma center."
Bo considered the proposal, "I'll have my engineers take a look. You know, I was thinking yesterday – without us, Tomas and Leah would have to stay at the hospital with their parents. What if there was some sort of childcare center beneath the trauma center where kids of patients could stay if their family needs care?"
"Wow. That's a great idea, Bo – especially if the parents are the ones who are admitted to the hospital. It would also bring more jobs to the community. I would have to talk to Judge Payne about it, but I can't imagine he would disagree to take care of the kids within the community rather than ship them into a foster care system – particularly if it's… long term."
Bo nodded, "So who would run the Trauma Center?"
Lauren smiled, "Little known fact, but Doctor Lauren Lewis is also a Board Certified Trauma Surgeon."
"You don't say?" Bo smiled, shaking her head, "I really shouldn't be surprised and yet, I am."
"Cardiology is all Evony ever wanted me for. She made me her poster child and that was the end of my trauma career until I came here."
"So, you weren't just guessing when patients were wheeled in with a leg hanging off." Bo concluded.
"Nope. Although having an Ortho doc next to me would be the best-case scenario. Now we'll have that to go along with the emergency services that Kurt is running."
"Wow. You're really creating a major medical hub in our little town."
"Is that bad?"
Bo shook her head, "I'm sure there are many people who want things to stay exactly as they are, but the clinic and hospital are in the town center, so progress is expected. Just don't go putting up parking lots."
Lauren nodded, "Promise."
"So, what will happen to Amelia? She gets demoted? Somehow I don't think she'll stick around if that's the case."
Lauren shook her head, "She's still the co-Chief of Epidemiology at the hospital with Parth Vikrum."
"I know that name." Bo replied.
"He consulted on the epidemic last winter before Stephen brought Amelia in. He'll be good for her. He's got twenty-five years of experience and has an intensive research background at both the NIH and CDC. He was one of Evony's doctors who 'retired' to get out of his contract. His family went back to India, so that he could continue to practice medicine. Patrick tracked him down at my request and he was happy to return to a position in the states."
"Really?"
Lauren nodded, "His wife is American and his kids were all born here. His wife's mom actually lives in Washington State just outside of Seattle, so she can actually see more of her now. Most of their time has been spent with his family over the years, so in his words – it was her turn."
"Sounds like a great guy."
"He is and he's got such a great bedside manner. He believes that humor and family play a huge role in recovery, so I think he'll bring something to Amelia's world that she didn't previously have. Let's face it – I'm not exactly the best teacher for bedside manner. I really need to be more… friendly and less…"
"Sciency?"
"Exactly." Lauren smiled, "It's funny that the expectations others have always had for me are the smallest worries in my own mind. My blind spots as a physician have always been the social-emotional things. Connecting with a patient, acknowledging their fears and taking the time to listen. I do it with my younger patients, but I seem to be lacking in those areas with adults."
"I can confirm that. You've had absolutely no sympathy for me when I was under your care."
Lauren laughed, "That's because you were being reckless and impulsive every time I had to care for you."
"I was reckless when I got the chicken pox?"
"Sadly, that was one time where I was being a jerk."
"Seriously? You heard me say you shouldn't marry me. I'd say you had every right to treat me the way you did. And then, of course, I used your Head Nurse as a personal punching bag of sorts."
Lauren offered a tight grin, her eyes closed, "You did do that."
"So, who will be the Cardio Chief at the hospital?"
"Kate Myers – half of the couple I told you about that we met in that bar. They came back to the ship with us?"
"Right. They're getting married in April?"
Lauren nodded, "I was decompressing with Shannon after Thea's first surgery and she told me they were now considering having the wedding here."
"April weather is still a little questionable." Bo said.
"Shannon told her that, but there's apparently a lodge that they stayed in for one night after they landed that has an amazing view of the mountain range of Denali. They want to have it there. They can get married inside or outside. They've already called and discussed it with management who is willing to fly in fresh fruits and vegetables from California."
"Wow. It sounds like they're really committing to a life here."
Lauren nodded, "Kate and Anna… that's her fiancé… have always been thrill seekers, so they feel like they've finally found a place that can really challenge them. They are both experienced ice climbers – oh, but I should warn you – Shannon already mentioned to them that they should talk to you before they go for a climb with any tour company… for safety."
Bo nodded, "As long as they don't ask me to be their guide, that's fine."
"Really?"
"You know how I feel about taking tourists up to Denali, Lauren."
"Bo, they're not tourists, they're residents. They're not about to set out on some random adventure for kicks. They are certified climbers and medical doctors. Combine the two and you have a couple who would never do anything to risk their lives without taking every precaution."
"Okay. We'll see."
"Thank you."
"So, what does Anna do?" Bo asked.
"She will be Head of Psychiatry."
"Move over Doctor Gray. You've got competition!" Bo laughed.
"Well, she does want to actually retire."
"She's told me." Bo replied, "But that's one person I will see until the day one of us leaves this planet. She's important to me, Lauren… as a person and mentor for life. She's like the grandmother I never knew I needed."
"I think she feels the same way. She loves how excited you get about the greenhouse."
Bo nodded, "She will need help in the coming weeks. I really want to get down to Anchorage to see her soon."
"You will, Bo."
Bo looked out across the river, "So, Lauren Lewis without daily heart surgeries. What will that be like?"
"Busy. Your favorite time of year is coming."
"Idiot tourist season?"
Lauren laughed, "Bo, be nice."
"I know. Not all of them are idiots. Just the ones that suddenly think they can hike the biggest friggin' mountain in the country or fish while standing in rivers during the snow melt and not drown… among others."
Lauren added, "The ones that run from bears, the ones that try to hitch themselves to a dogsled team when the temperatures are still near zero at night, the ones that try to walk across lakes that are no longer frozen…"
"The ones who try to come here and live off-grid after watching a TV show. Gosh, I could go on forever." Bo laughed.
"Well, instead of doing that, why don't you tell me why we're here and I'll tell you more about the job changes at the hospital after we get everything ironed out next weekend?"
Bo sighed, reminding herself of the speech she had rehearsed over and over again all day in her head,
"I had a great talk with my mom… as I mentioned… and she helped me realize that I've been suffocating myself. I mean, I think I figured out that the claustrophobia that I feel is not from being indoors, but from hiding away my truth. She made me realize that I never show affection to you in front of others, that I have never once told my family that I love you or said it to you in front of them…"
Bo paused, her eyes down as she remained silent for a long moment. Lauren knew by now that sometimes she just had to wait for the brunette to find her words. When she finally did, she was shocked at everything that came flooding out,
"I was a super curious, really outgoing kid. When I was left alone, I withdrew from the world – probably to protect myself. Well, I don't need to protect myself anymore… I don't need to defend who I am, what I like or who I love. I'm just me, Bo Dennis – a kind, caring lover of nature, family, close friends and Lauren Lewis. I am an Athabascan Warrior whose spirit animal is the Bald Eagle – intelligent, bold, beautiful, quick and a vicious opponent when it has to be. I have the control issues and anger of my father, but I'm learning to change those traits. Everything good in me came from my mom and the lessons taught to me by my dogs, the animals of Alaska and the need to survive."
She stood, holding out her hand to Lauren, "Walk with me?"
The blonde nodded, taking Bo's hand and they walked, "I don't like crowds and I generally don't like most people. While I appreciate the social skills lessons you have taught me, I refuse to try to change myself to fit into someone else's standards of how I should look, talk or behave in social settings. That said, if you want me to be your date for this Gala next weekend as Shannon suggested you may, you should choose someone else if you believe plain old Bo will embarrass you or cost you contracts or funding."
Lauren interrupted, "If you do not want to go to the Gala, you do not have to. I was going to leave it up to you. I think Shannon will be pleasantly surprised by the people who are attending. Betsy handled the invitations, and I gave her explicit instructions about who we are seeking as donors to our special brand of health care."
She stopped, pulling Bo towards her, "And to be sure you understand, you could never embarrass me, Bo. I am proud to be your partner in life and will always stand by you, even if I don't agree with you sometimes."
Bo nodded as they continued to walk, "That means so much to me."
Lauren spoke with certainty, "The world is going to have to take us as we are from now on. I will not allow work to dictate my life."
Bo smiled, "It's funny you should mention that because I plan to make a work change as well."
"You do?"
"As you know, Path and Slate intend to buy the construction company, but Dawn Lightfoot said she wouldn't let me give it to them. She insists they must work to buy it at its full value, so I must have the business appraised."
"Bo, they'll never be able to afford it!"
"Don't worry, Lauren. The Alaska State Bank of Bo will handle a loan if it comes to it. I wish I could have put their name on the hospital project. The income from that project alone could have paid for the business."
"How about the townhouse project?"
"Good idea. I'll get Penelope working on a way that I can satisfy Mom Lightfoot and help the guys out with the purchase."
"So, you're going to sell your construction company and just have the Kennel and Pro Shop?"
Bo shook her head, "As of today, LJ has now assumed all of my trapping contracts. He's going to buy all of my equipment and pay me one-third of each contract for a year because Big John insisted on him having to earn my business."
"I see a common theme appearing with Alaskan parents."
Bo scowled, "Boston parents don't make their kids earn their keep?"
"You do remember my story, right?"
"Well, you did walk away from it all." Bo smiled.
"I did and somehow I still managed to have enough money to survive without them."
"Until recently, you owned a beach house, two condos, a boat, four cars and who knows what else."
"Don't forget my surfboard, motorcycle and three bikes." Lauren smiled.
"Never." Bo laughed, "I'd say you did more than survive."
"Nadia insisted on all of those things – not the beach house, surfboard, motorcycle…"
"I get it."
"Evony had me working all the time. I never had time to stay anywhere but the condo. The Beach House was my refuge every other weekend when I wasn't on call. Of course, even when I was on call, Evony's helicopter would show up to Medi-Vac me to some important surgery no other doctor could handle."
Bo shook her head, "Well, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do anymore."
Lauren smiled, "That's right. I'm the boss. I'm going to teach every surgeon my procedures and spend more time in the lab researching and developing new techniques for my doctors to use. I'm going to start a tech department that will develop real world tools for surgeons that allow us to do less invasive procedures. I'll get to observe surgeries from other specialties and talk to doctors about the really tough cases and what could have made them more successful. I'll be more of a consultant than a doctor, but it's an exciting role. I'm actually excited about being a doctor again and I'm not even going to be doing many surgeries."
The brunette smiled, "And I'm excited for you."
"So, what are you excited about now that you won't have the trapping business or construction business?"
"I'm going to raise dogs and work at the Kennel in that capacity. I'm going to work as a consultant at the Pro Shop and hand that off to Kyle. Apparently, Sam and Scott – our resident teen workhorses – have been learning to build sleds and they love it. Kyle said that it has freed her up to work with the design team and deal with the business side of things. We're working on trying to change customer expectations. They need to respect Kyle for what she brings to the party. They need to understand that Bo Dennis will not always be available at their beckoned call starting with this guy…"
Lauren shook her head, "I heard Kyle talking about him when I was standing by the truck waiting for you."
Bo nodded, "Sorry I was late."
"I shouldn't have been mad, Bo. I was just tired. Afterall, your weekend got turned upside down by my emergency surgery."
Bo nodded, "You'll do Thea's transplant, right?"
"When the time comes, yes. I'll be there. I think those are the cases I'll take on depending on how well-practiced I am. Otherwise, I'll stick to the emergent care situations. Kate and Stephen will consult with me if they need me on a case and I will certainly be there in a teaching capacity. When we talked on the ship, Kate was talking a mile a minute about all of my procedures that she had watched on video. I want to be a mentor to her while she takes the lead on the surgeries. I can coach her from the observatory just as easily as if I was standing with her in the room."
"Won't that make her nervous?"
"Why would it?"
Bo shrugged, "Something Shannon said to me at our first lesson. She was embarrassed to drive the sled with me on the bench because I was so good at it."
Lauren smiled, "You'll find that medical professionals have two weaknesses – saying 'I don't know' and making any mistakes. Our job requires perfection or people may die. It's like an air traffic control worker – take your eyes off the screen for a moment and two planes collide killing hundreds of people. The silver lining for us – if you can call it that – is that we only kill one."
"Some silver lining."
"Tell me about it." Lauren said, rolling her eyes, "So what will you do with all of your free time?"
"Oh – that's the best part. I made calls today to six people who had asked Molly about getting my furniture for in their stores. I'm going to make furniture!"
Lauren's eyes went wide, "You mean… the furniture that you have at The Homestead?"
"And custom pieces like I did at The Homestead – fireplace mantels, inside ceiling beams, fencing, porch furniture, small sheds and greenhouses – that sort of thing. Penelope is working on a logo and business cards. I was going to set up shop in the barn, but since that's going to be additional…"
"Bo, I can figure something else out for the trauma center. We have a whole hospital…"
"No, Lauren. Really, it's okay. There's a piece of land for sale right across from Mark and Molly's place. They wanted to expand the General Store since my furniture display was taking up a lot of space. If I move my stuff out and make a showroom on that piece of land, people can see my work through the glass, call the number in the window and I can meet them at Kenzi's or in the showroom depending on the client and the time of the meeting."
"That's an interesting business model."
Bo nodded, "Well, if I set up my meetings right, I can meet with Pro Shop clients and set up the dog runs around that schedule. Dogs in the mornings, clients in the afternoon, work on items when you have to go in for emergency surgeries. If you work, I work. When you're free, I'm free – most of the time… hopefully."
"Bo, I don't expect you to run your life around my schedule…" Lauren stopped short when she looked up to see a rocky cove with candles lining either side of the mountain side, "… what is this?"
Bo grinned, "I thought you could use a little romance in your life."
Lauren's hands covered her mouth as tears welled in her eyes, "It's beautiful. The moon is at the perfect spot in the sky so that the light is glancing off the snow and the candles and… are those red roses? Where in the world did you find…"
Bo shook her head, pulling one from her inside jacket pocket and presenting it to Lauren, "They're not roses. They're made from sled line with red ribbon woven in and mounted on floral wire."
Lauren took the offering, "It's beautiful, Bo. From a distance, they look real."
"I have to tell you that Rudy, Elise, Tomas and Leah helped me to make them. Mom taught me and Molly helped too. Apparently, my calloused hands are useless with anything delicate… Molly's words that earned her a slap from my mom. I think I made about ten in two hours. The girls probably made twice that each. Leah made a giraffe. Tomas kept telling her she was doing it wrong."
"I thought you couldn't sit inside?"
Bo smiled, "I didn't. We sat out on the back porch with the steel firepit going."
"You finally used that thing, eh?"
"We did and it was actually pretty cool. Plus, the welds held up, so hooray for me."
"Another item to sell at Bo's Hearth and Home?"
"Did you just name my store?"
Lauren shrugged, "I don't know. Did I? It just came to me."
"Sounds good to me. I'll have to send that off to Penelope."
Lauren eyed Bo suspiciously, "So, we're sharing an accountant now or are you stealing her?"
Bo smiled, "Just borrowing her until I get my business set up."
"Your Hearth and Home?" Lauren grinned, "Wow. That really is the perfect name for the perfect furniture, isn't it? I get dibs on the first piece of furniture you sell. A bench for the hospital lobby maybe?"
Bo shrugged, "A bench, huh? Well, about that…"
She took Lauren's hand and led her to a bench beneath the mountain. Lauren looked down, her fingers tracing the words Bo had burned into the wooden backrest, as she whispered them aloud,
"I have found the other half of my heart and soul in you. Bo and Lauren, February 15, 2021."
Lauren turned back to Bo to see her kneeling, a diamond ring in a lavender box extended towards the blonde,
"This ring belonged to my grandmother. After telling my Mom and Rudy that I intended to propose, they both agreed that it belongs on your hand. It is the single most important link to their blood and our family that we have to offer to you. We want you to have no doubt that you are family. Lauren Lewis, will you make me the happiest woman in the world? Will you allow me the privilege of walking beside you on your life's journey wherever it may lead? Will you trust me with your heart for all the days that I may hold it gently in my hands? Will you marry me and give me the honor of calling you, my wife?"
Tears streamed down Lauren's face as Bo stood to face her, "Yes, Bo. I will marry you."
Bo placed the ring on Lauren's finger and smiled, "Perfect fit."
Tenderly, Bo placed a hand on Lauren's jaw, taking a moment to look into her big brown beautiful eyes before placing a delicate kiss on her lips… then another… and another.
Lauren pulled back, looking at the ring, "It's beautiful, Bo. I wish I could have known her."
Bo nodded, "Me too. She would have loved you."
She took Lauren's hand, "Now, if you don't mind, can you turn and face The Homestead?"
"Why?" Lauren said, turning as Bo pointed,
"We have an audience."
Lauren burst out laughing as the entire group across the water applauded. They could hear Tamsin and Kyle whistling while Kenzi yelled,
"Geez, Doc! I can't believe you're actually going to marry that dweeb!"
Lauren just laughed harder until Rudy called out, "I'm gonna have another Sister!"
LJ lifted her up and put her on his shoulders while Rudy threw her arms over her head and shouted,
"She said yes! Sister is getting married!"
Bo turned to Lauren, "I'm really sorry about this, but… well, that's our engagement party, so we really need to get back over there to celebrate. They planned it before they knew you would have such a long surgery to perform on very little sleep."
Lauren laughed, shaking her head, "It's okay, Bo. As long as you promise I get you to myself tonight."
"But the cold…"
"You just let me handle that this time, okay? I had an idea and I've got a surprise of my own for you."
"But…"
"If we're going to be married, you're going to have to let me have a chance at a romantic gesture once in a while."
Bo nodded her defeat, "Agreed. Now, can you help me blow out these candles and pack up the food?"
"Is that why you made two huge pots?"
Bo nodded, "Molly made two as well and my mom was supposed to handle the desserts – yet another reason I had to keep you out of the house. Rudy and Elise handled the decorations, so who knows what the house is going to look like."
"So, Tamsin, Kyle and my Nurses were not going out to dinner?"
Bo shook her head, "Apparently your new cardio doctor, Kate Myers is at the hospital with Dala, so all of your friends could be here. Carolyn scheduled two cardio nurses you hired yourself – I think it's Brian and Tanisha?"
"Yes! They're a couple from New York who were part of the Harvard Medical research team. They're off-gridders who have lived the last six years in – get this – a renovated school bus. Imagine that! A house on wheels. I really can't wait to see it."
"They drove it here?" Bo asked.
Lauren nodded, "They quit their jobs in August and spent the fall traveling across the states. Their goal was to stop in every state they had yet to visit. I'll be interested to see if they achieved their goal."
"Wow. Now that's an adventure." Bo smiled, carefully loading the kettles into the boat atop Lauren's bed.
"That bed was super comfortable, by the way. Who knew sleeping in a little row boat could be so comfy." Lauren smiled.
Bo smiled, "I'm glad you got some sleep. This gang is pretty fired up."
Just as Bo said the words, music started blaring. Bo and Lauren looked at each other and laughed before Lauren said, "There goes the neighborhood."
"Apparently we're going to have to establish a curfew on the river for future reference."
"Agreed." Lauren replied, "Although I don't think we'll be rocking all night parties before a workday in most circumstances."
"Speaking of which, are you working tomorrow?"
Lauren shook her head, "Not anymore. At least, not unless something goes wrong with Thea."
Bo nodded, holding the boat steady as Lauren got in before shoving off and stepping in herself, "I may have a call at ten tomorrow morning, but other than that, I should be free as well."
"Sleeping in sounds like a great plan."
"Agreed." Bo said, "So let's keep Rudy up as late as possible tonight."
"Agreed." Lauren smiled as Bo rowed them back across the river.
"I have one more thing to ask you." Bo smiled.
Lauren nodded, "Ask away."
"You know how I gradually built The Homestead to suit my needs?"
"Yes."
"Did you like the spot where we just were?"
"Like it for what?"
Bo shrugged, "A new home built specifically for the needs of me and my wife-to-be?"
Lauren grinned, "That sounds wonderful," she then hesitated, "But Bo, what about Rudy and your Mom?"
"I've already talked to my mom, and she agrees that we need our own space. I agreed that as the matriarch of the family, all family dinners should continue to be held in the original home."
"If you're sure, then it sounds perfect." Lauren grinned looking back at the spot beneath her mountain.
Bo nodded, "I'm sure. Rudy knows that she'll be welcome as long as she plans with one of us ahead of time. She is not permitted to cross the river alone unless it's an emergency and she's too young to drive her sled around to the bridge."
Lauren nodded, looking down at the ring on her hand. Bo's heart swelled with joy. This was a good day. This was a very good day.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The Homestead, Four Hours Later
Bo and Lauren stood before the group who had come to celebrate their engagement. Taking Lauren's hand in her own. She lifted it to her lips and kissed it softly before kissing the blonde's cheek. Then, she turned to the group and spoke,
"You all know I'm not big on talking, but I want to thank you all for sharing this special occasion with us. The Bo and Lauren journey has been a rocky one at times, but all of you have been so supportive… more than that, you've put your lives on the line for us… for me. I was born on this land, but before all of you came together to support me against Big Jim, I felt like an outsider. You have helped me to build a new life…"
She leaned over and kissed Lauren's cheek, "One that I will be lucky enough to share with this incredible woman who I love more than words could ever say."
She turned back to her family and friends, "We'll be making some changes in our lives. Changes that will allow us to nurture our relationship. We hope that you will continue to support us through those changes. We've both lived such chaotic lives up until now and we have both decided to adjust our schedules to allow time for us."
Lauren stepped in, "Stephen and I are changing things up with our staffing. I was thrown into someone else's dream to have me as a poster child for cardiothoracic medicine, but my original field was trauma surgeon. It was a natural segue from my life in military hospitals. I love research, I love developing new techniques, but trauma surgery has always presented the challenges that allow me to thrive as a professional, so the clinic will be converted to handle family medicine and trauma cases. I will be spending most of my time there unless the doctors at the hospital request my assistance."
Bo nodded, "I have sold my trapping contracts to LJ who will also be working to earn partnerships in the Kennel and Pro Shop if he chooses. Kyle will be running the Pro Shop with two young apprentices helping her with sled building until Rudy and Elise are old enough to work there – if they choose. My construction business is being sold as a work-to-buy deal to Path and Slate Lightfoot. All of those changes are so that I can pursue my true passion… carpentry. Specifically, I will be opening a showroom across from the General Store to display my furniture and homewares."
She smiled at Lauren, "My fiancé has named the showroom Hearth and Home. Penelope has agreed to help me with the business plan."
"So, people can't just walk in and buy from you?" Tosh asked.
Bo shook her head, "I'll keep pieces for sale in any store that wants them, but everything else will be custom builds. The showroom is just that – a small space to showcase my work. It's a plan in progress. I just know that – for me – it's important to limit my time around large groups of people. Maybe someday that will change, but for now, I've got to revert to the version of me that allows me to get through my day without anxiety attacks."
"You guys are going to live off-grid?" Tamsin asked.
Bo shook her head, "We're building a new home – location to be determined, but we're thinking right across the river from here since it's just a short walk down to the crossing. During the spring melt, we can set up a ferry system with a boat or row over. As I said, we're still working out those details."
Kyle spoke, "I have to ask – Lauren, you're okay with this?"
Lauren smiled, "I am going to keep one of the townhomes near the hospital so that I have a place to stay if I need to work at the hospital or monitor a patient. I'll still be doing transplants and surgeries on occasion. I've got to keep my skills up."
Rudy raised her hand. Lauren smiled, "Yes, Rudy?"
"Will you still come and have lunch with me on the playground sometimes?"
Lauren looked up at the group, "Roo, that was our secret."
"Oops. Sorry." Rudy said, covering her mouth, and whispering, "But will you?"
"Yes." Lauren whispered back, winking at Mary before turning to a giggling Elise.
Bo leaned over, "I take it you're having lunches with Elise too?"
Lauren nodded, "I started with Elise when she came to town. Once we had Rudy, I didn't want her to be upset I wasn't doing it with her too. They are in the same schoolyard."
"Good move, Doctor Lewis."
Bo turned back to the group, "Does anyone else have any questions for us?"
LJ waved, "I don't have a question. I just want you both to know that I'm really happy for you and I think it's great that you are both pursuing your dreams after all these years of doing what others wanted you to do for them. It makes me grateful to know that all of you have supported me in following mine. I'm lucky to be doing that so young – especially knowing how life prevented both of you from doing so many things you wanted to do when you were my age. I say, don't waste any more time. Do what makes you happy and don't worry about what anyone else expects or thinks of you."
Bo's eyes teared up, "Wow. You're all grown up. Thank you for that, LJ."
Tosh waved, "I'm here for whatever you two need. I'm one hundred percent behind you following your dreams. Life is too short to spend it doing anything but what you truly love."
Lauren put an arm around Bo's waist and pulled her close as the brunette replied, "Thank you, big brother. That means a lot."
One by one, the group gave their blessing to the plan, Kyle asking Bo some questions about the status of their partnership, LJ asking Kyle if he could take on more responsibility in the shop. Bo was surprised by LJ's request since running the dogs would take up so much of his time, but she decided she would talk to him later.
Bo turned to see Shannon talking to Lauren while Carolyn watched. She chose to walk over and be sure that Shannon wasn't upsetting Lauren because she was upset by the news. As it turns out, Shannon was trying to be supportive while admitting she was saddened by the news. She loved working with Lauren, but she had met Kate and said they seemed to be a good fit after their first interaction.
Lauren finally turned to Carolyn and said she would still be counting on her to work with her each week on the schedule for both locations. They needed to have a strong overall team every day, every shift no matter who was actually there.
As family and friends departed The Homestead one by one, Bo and Lauren said their goodbyes. Dyson was an awkward interaction as he actually asked Bo if she was sure about marrying the blonde. Thankfully, Hale intercepted the conversation and redirected Bo to Kenzi while he handled his partner.
Finally, it was just Bo, Lauren, Mary and Rudy. They all plopped down on the couch, Rudy on Lauren's lap,
"Gosh! Having company is really hard work! I wanted everyone to leave hours ago so that we could talk about you getting to be my new Sister, but I held it in… that was the hardest part. I just wanted to yell, 'everyone leave our house so that I can talk to my new Sister'."
Lauren laughed, "We'll have plenty of time together, Roo."
"It's never enough time. I wish humans didn't have to sleep so we could do everything we wanted to do."
Lauren nodded, "I agree. So, you're happy that Bo and I are getting married?"
"Duh! I've been waiting for-EVER!" She said with a roll of the eyes for good measure, "When's the wedding?"
"We haven't decided yet. Do you have a suggestion?"
Rudy smiled, "I think March so that there's still snow on the ground. It's pretty and you can do the winter wedding theme – everything in all white. Hey! Why don't you do the wedding where Sister asked you to marry her?"
Lauren looked at Bo who smiled, "That's a good idea, Roo."
"I'm super smart." Rudy replied with a yawn.
Mary smiled, "I think it's bedtime, Roo. School tomorrow."
"Awww, Mom…"
"Rudy, if you…"
"I'm going. Goodnight Sisters!"
Rudy kissed Lauren's cheek and then Bo's before going back to Mary and kissing her as well. She ran to Lauren and dove into her lap, giving her a hug,
"I'm so happy we're going to be real sisters!"
She jumped off the couch and hurried off to her side of the house, "Sister's getting married, Sister's getting married, Sister's getting married…"
Mary smiled, "Brace yourself, girls. That one is going to be planning every aspect of your wedding day… that is apparently just weeks away."
Bo and Lauren looked at each other, then back to Mary before Lauren said, "We're on board with all of that."
"What?" Mary laughed before she saw the look on Bo and Lauren's faces, "You're serious."
Lauren nodded, "It will be so meaningful for her and Elise to do the planning." She looked at Bo, taking her hand, "Honestly, it will be fun to see what they come up with. Promise you will let them do as they please and not interfere? We can spread the word about who our wedding planners are so people will understand."
Mary smiled, "That is very kind of you, girls," she lifted a hand to Lauren's cheek, "I am so grateful for how you have welcomed my daughters into your heart. Rudy loves you so much…" she smiled, lowering her eyes, "… like a Sister, you might say."
They all laughed before Mary continued, "I won't meddle or help unless I am asked and if that is the case, I will answer as my usual cryptic self."
"Much appreciated." Lauren said in reply, taking Bo's hand, "I think I speak for both of us when I say that the wedding isn't as important to us as the vows we will speak."
Bo nodded, "Those we will plan for ourselves," she squeezed Lauren's hand, "I haven't talked to you about this yet, but would you be okay with Judge Payne performing the legal ceremony and my mom performing the traditional Athabascan blessing?"
Lauren smiled, "Of course."
"Isn't Patrick qualified to perform a wedding? I mean, he is a lawyer." Bo asked.
Lauren chuckled, "Actually, he's not but Betsy is."
"Really?"
The blonde nodded, "She was certified by the powers of the internet to perform a wedding for a woman in her cycling group."
Mary asked, "How is Betsy doing – I mean, living here when she wanted to travel? Leaving all of her friends back east must be difficult for her."
Lauren shrugged, "She actually loves to fly. Kelly told me that Kurt has been giving her flying lessons. She's trying to get her license and then she's going to make Stephen buy her a plane."
Bo laughed, "I hope I still have her sense of adventure when I'm her age."
"Me too." Lauren replied.
"So where is this wedding happening?" Mary asked.
"Possibly right across the river where Bo proposed and put our bench." Lauren smiled.
"Your bench?" Mary asked.
Bo nodded, "When you are well enough to walk over to the other side, you'll see it."
"I'll look forward to it. Now, what about the guest list?"
Bo shrugged, "Family and friends is it for me. One of us can write down the names for Rudy and Elise."
She looked at Lauren who was staring at the fire, "Lauren?"
The blonde turned to Bo, "I'll have to ask Stephen about this, Bo. The expectations for me are a bit… different. All of my staff who work so tirelessly for me… well, weddings are often considered a chance for the doctor who is getting married to give back to them."
Bo shrugged, "So we'll throw a hospital party this summer."
"Like I said, I'll have to talk to Stephen."
Bo nodded, but Lauren could see the disappointment on her face. Of course, Lauren couldn't say that she didn't feel the same way. She had promised herself that work was no longer going to run her life. Was this an exception to that rule? It was the single most important day of her life…
"Personal life." Lauren said aloud, not aware she had given voice to the words.
Bo and Mary looked at each other before Mary placed a hand on Lauren's, "Child?"
Lauren shook out her head and looked up at her future Mother-in-Law, "I… uh… oh… I said that out loud."
"Yup, you did." Bo said, rubbing Lauren's back, "Wanna share with the other kids in the class, Doctor?"
Lauren nodded, "I was just thinking about the promise I made to myself… that I wasn't going to allow my work life to dictate my personal life. Since I've come back home, I had to do a hospital inspection when I landed and just after we had planned to spend the weekend together, I end up with a major surgery that tied me up through most of the weekend until today. It was one of the things I discussed with Stephen earlier. He's on board with what I'm trying to do personally – I think largely because his own professional life is the reason he has so many regrets about his wife's death."
She shook her head, "I don't want that to be me," she turned to Bo, "I don't want our marriage to suffer because of my job before we're even married."
"Lauren, it's okay. I understand your passion for your work. I know how important it is to you."
Shaking her head, the doctor replied, "I'm tired, Bo. I'm tired of being the poster child for surgical perfection. I'm tired of being boring old Lauren."
"Lauren, you're not boring."
The blonde stood, walking to the door as Bo shared a look of concern with her mom. The brunette helped her mother to a stand and the pair walked over to the large picture windows and stared out across the river to the mountain, now basking in the blue glow of the moonlight on the snow. They listened as Lauren spoke,
"In Boston, I would run every day, go to a rock-climbing gym, surf on the beach, go mountain biking and road biking. I would go to the gym and lift, go out in my boat or my on waverunner and, I used to have a friend who owned a tall ship that I would sail once in a while."
Heaving a heavy sigh, she pointed out the window, "I mean, look at it out there. I've been here for over a year and I've never once been up on that mountain. I admire it from the ground and dream of what's on the peak."
She turned to see Bo's eyes wide and shook her head, "I know you would worry about me climbing up there, but Bo, it's what I do. I was an adventurer before I came here, and I lost that part of myself over fear of bears and wolves and whatever else was out there waiting to eat me alive."
Both Mary and Bo laughed, "Sorry, Lauren. It's just that… they kill you first. They don't actually eat you while you're still alive. They don't want to fight with their food any more than you do. They want to relax and savor ever bite."
"Well, that makes me feel so much better." Lauren said, sarcastically, "What I'm saying is that my job has prevented me from doing anything but sledding. You know I love it, but it's the same trail over and over again. I want to explore like we did by plane that day. It's the only adventure I've had since I got here. A year, Bo. A year of nothing but work, the hotel, a trip to a park, one flight to Denali, and this Homestead and it's land. I feel like a… prisoner."
Lauren lowered her eyes. She couldn't bare the look that was surely on Bo's face, "It's not because of you… it's my job. I need to be free to explore and get out of that hospital or I swear I'll go crazy. I can't watch another child die. I can't lose another patient. I can't… I can't!"
She dropped to the floor, Bo sliding in and catching her as she sobbed uncontrollably in her arms. The brunette looked up at her mom and gave her a nod. Mary pulled out her phone and slowly walked to the kitchen where she could speak privately,
"Stephen? This is Mary. I'm not sure how far away from The Homestead you are, but we have a situation… it's Lauren. She's had a bit of a breakthrough, I suppose. We need someone she can talk to… as soon as possible."
"We'll come right back, Mary. We'll be about twenty minutes."
"Stephen, as much as I'm sure you adore her, I believe someone who doesn't know her as well? I mean, unless you're truly ready to hear what she just told us."
Stephen asked for the details and Mary – hesitant at first – decided Lauren's mentor and partner in the business was exactly who needed to know how she was feeling. When Mary was finished explaining, Betsy's voice came through the phone,
"We're on our way, Mary. Stephen is bringing reinforcements as well. He's been where Lauren is now. The job they do… it takes its toll. This is not the first – nor the last time that Lauren will feel this way in her career. As amazing as she is, the odds are always stacked against her in that operating room since the majority of her patients are older. You somehow make peace with that as a surgeon, but children… particularly Thea Gauthier… it's just different."
Mary nodded, "No parent wants to outlive their children and I'm sure no doctor wants to outlive a child patient – especially one you've grown close to as you've battled the odds with them."
"I'm afraid Thea's case has taken its toll on Lauren. They've spent many years together."
"I'm going to go sit with the girls. I'll see you soon, my friend." Mary said, hitting the end button.
She moved to the counter and reached for the cabinet overheard. Pulling out three canisters, she put two pinches of each finely ground plant into a steeper, then put the kettle on to brew the tea. She stared out the window at the cold, snowswept landscape. It hadn't escaped Mary that just a few minutes ago they were laughing and excited about Rudy and Elise planning a wedding. Now… this.
She picked up her phone again and called Molly,
"Mary? What's wrong?"
"Family meeting. Now. Call me when you have everyone that was at this home tonight on speaker. It's time for change."
"Understood."
Lauren would be furious with Mary if she knew what she was about to do… Bo as well, but someone had to do something for this couple. Their sense of duty and honor combined with their generosity would break them, so Mary was going to give them a break instead. It was time this family gave back just a bit of what Bo and Lauren had given to them. As the Matriarch, it was time she put her foot down… Athabascan Warrior style.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The Homestead, Two Hours later
"Mom? What was in that tea?" Bo asked.
"What?"
"You didn't make it for you or me, so I know there was something in the tea."
Mary shrugged, "Something to protect her mind. She needed to sleep. She's been awake off and on for more than a day, Ysabeau. You heard her – I was not going to stand by and allow that woman to continue to grieve for the life she has lost. I'm going to help you to help her to get it back."
There was a knock on the door. Bo shook her head, "Now what?"
Stephen stood, putting his hands up in front of Bo, "I've got it."
Bo sighed, watching Stephen head for the door, but Betsy took his place, in front of the brunette, motioning to the sofa,
"Please, Bo. Sit and let me explain."
Bo was too tired to argue, so she sat and listened to Betsy explain what she had told Mary on the drive back. The brunette nodded. She lifted Lauren's head and laid it carefully in her lap before stroking her hair softly.
"It's never going to end for us. When will we ever get some peace?"
"You'll have your peace, Bo. Both of you."
Bo looked up to see a woman she did not recognize followed by another woman she did not recognize. She went to stand, but the woman held up her hand,
"Stay. Please. We'll sit. It's good that she's sleeping. It's the body's natural defense mechanism."
Bo shook her head, "Well, I'm afraid her body had a little help defending itself. Right Mom?"
Mary smiled, "I used a blend of teas to help her sleep."
"Teas?" One woman asked.
"Yes. These lands have provided healing potions to its people for generations upon generations."
The woman smiled, "You must be Mary – Lauren's mentor in homeopathic remedies."
Mary cocked her head, "You know of me, Child?"
"Yes. Apologies. I am Doctor Anna Ricci and this is Doctor Kate Myers…"
Bo looked upon both women, "Anna and Kate from Delaware? You're engaged, getting married in April?"
Kate smiled, "Yes, Bo. Shannon had recommended we speak with you about having our wedding here. I'm sorry that we're not meeting under more pleasant circumstances."
"Me too." Bo replied, "So, you're the shrink… I mean… sorry. Lauren has told me that's not a polite term to use. I just… habit."
Anna nodded, "It's okay, Bo. I've heard worse."
"Yea, but I'm the fiancé of the owner of the hospital, the Chief of… well, whatever position it is now."
"Owner of the Lewis-Archer medical conglomerate, globally respected surgeon and Co-Chief of Staff with Doctor Archer."
Bo nodded, "The staff can't know about this, Anna. They can't."
"I'm sure Lauren has spoken to you before about doctor-patient privilege."
"Right. The laws." Bo nodded.
"Yup. The laws. Sometimes they serve the right purpose."
"Mom, how much longer is she going to sleep?" Bo asked.
Mary shrugged, "The teas have worn off by now. This is her true level of fatigue."
Bo shook her head, "She's usually such a light sleeper. How are we talking and she's not waking up if she's just asleep?"
Kate spoke, "The last forty-eight hours have been very intense for Lauren. I read the charts and discussed Thea's case with Stephen. It's a tough case and Lauren has been personally involved for years. The truth is, Nadia took over the case in Lauren's absence. Nadia recommended a treatment that Evony refused because of their inability to pay. Eventually, Nadia stood up to Evony and started the treatment, but it was too little too late."
Bo looked up at Kate, "Thea is sick because of Evony and Nadia?"
Kate shook her head, "Nadia did the right thing. She was refused, but she eventually told Evony to fuck off." She looked up at the room, "Sorry. I have a bit of a potty mouth. Anyway, doctors cannot go against their bosses and order procedures that are refused. They risk their jobs and possibly never working again – not to mention their license for breach of contract. In addition, the costs of unapproved procedures would be passed on to the patient. It is my understanding that the Gauthier's…"
"Were already in debt up to their eyeballs because of medical bills." Bo concluded.
Anna stepped in, "That's why so many doctors have followed Lauren and Stephen all the way to Alaska. We believe in what we do, we are passionate about saving and enriching lives and more importantly – we are desperately seeking a solution to the problems in healthcare. We think they have the formula, so we're all here to give it a try."
She took a breath, then continued, "Lauren has been pulled in many different directions of late. When we met, she didn't have to tell us who she was. The minute we had a name, Kate knew exactly who she was. I knew from hearing Kate talk about her."
Kate smiled, "I'm not ashamed to say I have idolized your fiancé's work since I was a Resident and met her for the first time at a convention. Then, a few years ago, I met her again."
Anna finished, "So, when we met her in the bar and hung out with her and the crew of the Gracie Marie, we asked if she remembered us. Of course, she meets so many doctors… well, she used to when she went to those things… they're no one's favorite, but when Lauren Lewis is there, everyone is just a little bit more excited if you work in Cardiology."
"You were there?" Bo asked, surprised that a Psychiatrist would attend one of Lauren's lectures.
She nodded, "I went so Kate would have someone to talk to and I was presenting a seminar on broken heart syndrome."
"Lauren told me about that. I never realized that dying from a broken heart was a real thing." Bo replied.
Anna nodded, "Most people don't. She was fascinated by my lecture, so we spoke for about fifteen minutes after my presentation. Of course, I wasn't as familiar with her as Kate, but I had heard enough from her number one fan."
Kate laughed, then continued, "Anyway, I was sitting in the lobby waiting for her presentation when she walked in with a full security escort surrounding her. I mean, what doctor needs security! It was crazy. But after the seminar we understood."
Anna continued, "You see, Lauren ran out of time for audience questions, so she offered to stay if there were questions that were still unanswered. Everyone applauded and about two thirds of the audience left peacefully. The rest rushed the stage. It was terrifying."
Kate shook her head, "I couldn't believe those people were actually doctors in my profession."
Anna nodded, "It was like fans at a rock concert fawning at the foot of the singer on stage. Kate kept telling me to do something, so I finally stepped outside and called her security team in."
The expression on Kate's face as she recalled the details of the event made Bo cringe,
"I just kept thinking of those paparazzi with movie stars only instead of having a dozen microphones and flashbulbs in her face, these doctors were sticking case files of patients in her face. At one point, someone actually threw one at her." Kate hiccupped, her eyes welling with tears, "I'm sorry. I just…"
Anna continued, "Lauren's security team helped her back up on stage away from the crowd and stood at the stairways so that she would have space. She looked down at the doctors who were still shouting questions at her and calmly took the microphone in hand. Then, graceful as ever despite how rude the audience had been, she held the mic to her lips and spoke ever so eloquently…"
Flashback…
"Believe me when I say I understand how desperate you all are to save your patients, but unfortunately, I have a private panel I must attend at this time. I'll tell you what I will do. If you have a copy – not an original – of your patients' case file that you would like my input on, I will be happy to read it at the end of the conference day as long as it is properly redacted to meet patient privacy laws. I'll do my best to get through all of them today but understand with the number of doctors standing before me, I may need an extra day… two tops."
From the back of the auditorium, Kate and Anna watched as case files were stacked at Lauren's feet, while others sat down and began redacting the records before adding them to the pile.
"How is it that these people do not know of something called email?" Kate asked.
Anna shook her head, "How does she do it, Kate? I wouldn't get through three of those case files tonight if I had her conference schedule. As a rule, I won't do more than two seminars in a weekend. She's booked for five!"
Kate nodded, "Now do you understand why I was so adamant about not working for that bitch Evony Fleurette Marquis? She owns her doctors. Look at what happened to Paul. He'll never practice medicine again."
Anna shrugged, "I know, but he's happy about it now. He worked long enough to pay off his loans and get out financially unscathed. Now he's got his school counselor's certification and he's advising college kids to stay the hell away from her. Eventually, her well of doctors is going to dry up. Word is out and if those idiots down there at the stage could stop for a minute to see things from the cheap seats back here, they'd see that woman is headed for a breakdown. No one can keep this pace – not even The Eternal Healer."
"How do you even live up to that nickname?" Kate asked, shaking her head.
Anna spoke softly, "You don't. You die by it."
They watched the scene play out for a while longer, some doctors still monopolizing Lauren's time as the crowd thinned, but security eventually intervened. When she believed she was alone, the doctor's shoulders visibly slumped. She placed her hands on her hips and slowly walked to the stack of files. She stood, staring at them before she knelt down and began to gather them. Her security team rushed to help her, but she assured them she was fine. Something told Anna that they knew she wasn't.
"Anna, maybe you should try to talk to her." Kate said.
"It's none of my business, Kate."
"But if we were, say… in a social situation, you could…"
"Kate, it's none of my business. If she calls on me professionally, I'll do what I can to try to get her to slow down, but I have a feeling this behavior is more about Evony's demands than Lauren."
"But Anna…"
"Kate! Do you think I don't see what's happening? If she doesn't ease up, she'll turn out just like any of those famous people who broke under the scrutiny of the public eye. Unfortunately, you know I can't just walk up to a person and say 'hey, I'm a shrink and I think you need help'! Please don't make me feel any worse than I already do."
Kate nodded, "You're right. I'm sorry. I just feel so bad for her."
"Me too." Anna said, taking Kate's hand and giving it a squeeze.
They stood, watching as security cleared the room. Since they were seated and talking privately, security allowed them to remain. The three men walked back to the stage where Lauren was lifting the stack of case files.
"The girl's got pipes." Kate acknowledged.
"Why don't you offer to help her, Kate? You could be an extra set of eyes on the case files."
"Geezus, Anna – I'm not even in her league." Kate replied.
They watched as Lauren made her way down from the stage and then up the aisle. Her gaze drifted up to Kate and Anna seated at the back. The pair could see her visibly straighten at the sight of them, a tight smile being forced across her mouth before she spoke,
"Hello. Were you waiting to talk to me?"
The two women sat – starstruck as a more genuine smile stretched across the doctor's face,
"It's okay. Is there something you need?"
Kate stood, "Hi. My name is Doctor Kate Myers, Cardiology at Lawrence Memorial. This is my fiancé Anna, Chief of Psychiatry there."
"Oh. I believe we have a panel scheduled together tomorrow on Broken Heart Syndrome?"
Anna stood and extended her hand, "Yes."
"Your research is fascinating. I hope I can fill in the gaps." Lauren replied, shaking her hand.
"The confirmation paper you wrote on my work was a fantastic companion piece. I truly appreciated it since my colleagues thought I was out of my mind to make more of a colloquial phrase than they believe it merits."
"They should meet one of my current patients then. Only fifty-six years old, in perfect health with no prior irregularities."
"Heart Attack?"
Lauren shook her head, "No obstructed vessels, no prior cardiac tissue death, no abnormal rhythm disturbances and yet he went into cardiac arrest, not heart attack."
"Death of a loved one?" Anna assumed.
Lauren nodded, taking a seat sideways in the row in front of the couple, "His wife of forty-eight years. They eloped at age eighteen before he enlisted in the military. He said that once he received his honorable discharge from service, they never spent another day apart. She was the love of his life – his soulmate."
Kate gave Anna's hand a squeeze leading her to turn and give her a smile before turning back to Lauren,
"Every case that comes across my desk I add to the paper in the hospital library. One day, I'll republish with updated documentation of proof."
Kate asked, "If you don't mind my asking, how on this earth do you handle professionals behaving as if they're seeking autographs from a rock star?"
Lauren looked at Anna who quickly assured, "That is her question, not mine. Please don't run. I promise not to analyze you."
The blonde smiled and shrugged, "Well, I certainly can't say I don't need my head examined for agreeing to read all of these case files, but I am in this profession for the science and saving lives. Anything I can do to help a fellow physician, I'll do."
Kate nodded her agreement, but Anna shook her head, "Well, you're a better woman than me. I couldn't get through three of those case files tonight, let alone respond and continue reading. I might have had to kick that guy in the teeth who threw that patient file at your head."
Anna leaned forward, "You do have a little cut right at your hairline above your temple."
Lauren pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped the blood away, then pulled out some hand sanitizer, wiped her hands and then wiped the cut to be sure it was clean before she spoke,
"They're doctors who are desperate to save their patients and they think I have some secret weapon. All I really have is knowledge that I apply in creative ways when traditional methods don't or won't work. I believe anyone can do what I do – you just have to think outside the box. Of course, working in a militarized zone where supplies you usually use to repair bodies may or may not show up helped me to learn how to think way beyond the confines of the box."
Kate nodded, "We follow protocols to prevent lawsuits that cost the hospital profits instead of doing things that would save the patients' life."
"Exactly," Lauren replied, "If we do something that most doctors don't do, they have to defend us in court and that costs money."
"When in actuality, we're all paying six figure malpractice insurance rates each year for that very reason! Why shouldn't the insurance companies have to pay out to save a life?"
"Exactly!" Lauren nodded, "Of course, the lawyers play a role too. It's ridiculous that they use doctors against each other in a court of law – particularly when that doctor is just there to testify to the very protocols that – when implemented – killed the patient in the first place. If the protocol doesn't fit a particular situation, something else should be done. Instead, we just say, 'oops… didn't work… bummer… but don't worry, at least we won't get sued!'. It's unconscionable."
Kate asked, "The patient you just discussed – I mean, using a pen cylinder as a temporary aorta until you could get them to the field hospital… that was amazing."
Lauren shrugged, "I believe that sometimes we rush to a permanent fix rather than save the life first, then pause long enough to come up with the best fix. When I first returned from Afghanistan, doctors would look down their noses at me or literally yell at me if I was breaking protocol. I was even reminded by one doctor that I wasn't some hack in a military zone anymore – we are professionals here."
Lauren shook her head, laughing but Kate wanted to know more, "So what happened?"
"What happened was Doctor Stephen Archer. He had been observing the surgery from the observation room. His booming voice came over the intercom dismissing the doctor. That's where I met my preferred surgical nurse, Shannon McCarthy." Lauren laughed, her eyes sparkling, "She was maybe two years into her career and Stephen had her step in to be my assistant for the surgery. I had to remind her to breathe three times during the surgery. She was literally turning green."
Kate and Anna laughed, both having been young doctors just starting out. It was Anna who spoke,
"Well, I think we can all relate to that."
Lauren nodded, "When I found out Stephen Archer was going to be my Attending during my Residency, I totally peed myself… just a little. But still, unlike other doctors, he encouraged my unique methods and… well, look where I am now. I still wish I could go back to 'Dr. Protocol' and give him a big old fuck you!"
Again, the two doctors laughed, Kate saying, "I had no idea you were this funny."
Lauren smiled, "You think I'm funny?"
Anna nodded, "You're hysterical."
Lauren lowered her eyes, "Well there's something I don't hear every day… or any day. Gosh, I haven't laughed this hard in years."
"Excuse me, Doctor Lewis? Would you like me to take the case files to your room?"
Lauren looked up to see one of her security guards standing over her, "Thank you, Peter. That would be a great help. Just leave a handful in my bag so that I can get started on those if I have some downtime."
He began shuffling files while another guard approached, "Doctor Lewis? That other appointment?"
Lauren laughed, "Actually, this is the most stimulating conversation I've had all day, Jeffrey. I think I'm safe here for now."
"Well, if it's okay with you, can we go raid the buffet?"
"Absolutely." Lauren replied, "Enjoy. I'll take that back way to Seminar Room five."
"Are you sure?"
Lauren nodded, "I'll find my way. Promise. If I don't, you have my GPS locator."
Anna turned to Kate at that statement, mouthing G-P-S locator?
Kate shook her head as the three men exited the auditorium, leaving the three women on their own.
"Doctor Lewis, if we could ask, would you like to have lunch with us… elsewhere, away from the crowd?" Kate asked.
"Actually, I really should get to these files, but I appreciate the offer."
Anna stood as Lauren did, "We could order room service and go through the files together. Kate is a tremendous cardio doc and I could at least organize the files by their conditions and pull any that aren't properly redacted. It would give you plausible deniability."
Lauren paused before giving a nod, "That is actually the best offer I've had all year. I know a back way to the freight elevator that will get us to my room without running into the hoard out there."
"We're right behind you." Kate and Anna replied.
- End Flashback –
"So that was it?" Bo asked.
Anna shook her head, "We worked for an hour together, helping her to get the files sorted. She and Kate discussed and replied to three cases during that time. They worked really well together. Lauren even offered her a job, but when Kate explained that she wouldn't work for Evony, that was it."
"That was it?" Bo asked.
Kate nodded, "I told her why I wouldn't work for Evony."
Anna added, "She also asked me if I agreed and I told her about my former psychiatrist friend Paul who left her employ. Lauren knew him and while she was very diplomatic about his situation, she told me that I hadn't answered her question, so I did."
"Using Lauren as the example." Kate added.
"Oh boy." Bo replied.
Anna nodded, "I expressed my concern over her rundown appearance and asked her if Evony expected her to play public relations rep through the case file work she had taken on."
Kate shrugged, "She got very defensive and despite our efforts, eventually excused herself to attend her next panel. She barely finished her lunch. She was completely absorbed by the case files. I'd never seen anything like it."
Anna explained, "If I could, I would create a new tier above Type A Personality. I felt she was bordering on OCD behaviors and when I asked to use her bathroom, it was confirmed. Everything was lined up with precision and when I opened a cabinet to find a clean hand towel, so I didn't have to use hers, I found an entire cabinet of soap – not hotel soap – personal soap. She was staying for a weekend, not a month. I'd never seen so much soap."
"Her hands were very red and dry, but as surgeons who have to scrub, we are very careful to properly care for our skin to prevent such an appearance. It makes us more prone to infection to have breaks in the skin from dryness." Kate explained.
Anna nodded to Lauren's hands, "I noticed they look healthy, but her nails are bitten."
Bo looked down, "I hadn't noticed."
"Is that normal for her?"
Bo shook her head, "No. She keeps them trimmed and filed, but they're never bitten down like they are now."
Anna smiled, "It's okay, Bo. It's not something you would know to look for and remember – we're aware that the two of you were separated until just a few days ago. My guess is that Lauren's need to return home was a bit of FOMO."
"Excuse me? FOMO?" Mary asked.
Kate explained, "Fear of missing out."
"When she returned home, the pace of life in the east hit her quite unexpectedly and she was faced with all of the memories and trauma of what she had gone through with Evony. I can't imagine that all of the doctors she interacted with didn't bring it up – it would be their natural connection to Lauren – a shared point of misery, if you will. But for Lauren, having to have that conversation over and over again, it would eventually force the feelings associated with those years to the surface."
Anna shook her head, "Knowing the Lauren I met at the conference in her room as well as the one I worked with on the panel at the seminar, she is strong enough to push those emotions down, but as I'm sure you can imagine, that is not healthy."
Bo nodded, "I know a little something about pushing emotions down."
Anna nodded, "From what she told us onboard the ship, she was dealing with some pretty powerful emotions with regard to you."
"Me?"
Anna nodded, "She missed you, Bo. Terribly. But her career still had her conflicted. That's how she ended up on the ship. She couldn't deal with everything that was happening, so she ran rather than staying and figuring things out. Luckily, all of that alone time on the ship allowed her to find her truth in a slow and methodical way that gave her comfort. The routine of a tall ship also helped. She's lived on a schedule her entire life. Here, she has none, but she also has none of her normal hobbies to fill that time, so she feels unproductive."
Bo nodded, "No daily runs, no surfing, no wave runner, no rock climbing…"
"Sorry, Bo. You've lost me."
She looked up at Anna, "Lauren's hobbies. She ran down the entire list during her little… breakdown?"
"You shouldn't feel uncomfortable using that word, Bo. It's exactly what it says it is. She's breaking down the things that are bothering her and allowing the emotions to pour through. It's the social stigma that makes you believe a breakdown is bad."
"Oh. So… this is good?"
Anna shrugged, "I'd rather have her hooked up to an EEG so that I can see her brain waves, but for now I'm going to stick with the need for sleep… or, she's awake and listening to every word we say and processing my theories and your concerns."
"So, what do we do?" Bo asked.
"We wait and let her come to us in her own time. Trust her, Bo. She'll work through this."
"You're sure?"
Anna nodded, "Are you prepared to stand by Lauren as she follows her dreams – wherever they may lead – even if she gives up medicine?"
"Lauren would never…" Bo began until she saw Anna cock her head and give her a warning glance, "… I will make no assumptions based on Lauren's former occupation, reputation or qualifications and support her in her life's journey to her dream."
Betsy chuckled from the corner, "Wow. Sounds like you have some of your wedding vows down pat, Bo."
"Really?" Bo asked.
"Really." Betsy replied.
"Can you write down what I said?"
They all laughed, Anna reminding her, "You have to remember your promises, Bo. Never speak so blindly that you don't remember what you're saying."
Bo smiled, "I promised to not let things I know about Lauren dictate what I expect of Lauren moving forward." Her shoulders dropped as she shook her head, "I don't need any fancy words or promises. I just want Lauren to do what makes her happy - always have and always will."
Anna smiled, "You know what you want for her in your heart. Your love for her is the real deal, Bo. Congratulations."
Bo nodded, "We were engaged tonight."
Kate clapped her hands together, "That's wonderful! Congratulations!"
They all watched as Lauren began to roll into Bo, her hand snaking behind her back before she mumbled,
"Bo? You're still inside?" she opened one eye.
Bo nodded, "I am."
"I can't believe you slept here with me all night." She opened her other eye, seeing Bo sitting up, "Bo, did you sleep at all? You need your sleep for your training. You can't sleep sitting up. Lay down, Bo. I'll move over."
Bo stilled Lauren's movements, "We have company."
"Company? What are you talking about?"
"Lauren, do you remember what happened before you drank my mom's tea?"
She smiled, "You asked me to marry you, our family threw an engagement party for us, and we told your Mom we would let two ten-year-old's plan our entire wedding – all of it, except the guest list which I'll have to talk to Stephen about because…" she paused, shaking her head, "…I lost my shit, didn't I, Bo?"
"You could say that." Bo smiled, "It's okay."
Lauren looked up at the brunette, "I scared you, didn't I? And your mom. Where's your mom? Is she okay?"
Mary came to lean on the arm of the couch, "I'm here and I'm fine, Child. How do you feel?"
"Like I slept for an entire day." Lauren smiled.
Bo smiled, "Just a few hours."
"I really kinda lost it, huh?" Lauren asked Mary.
"You have experienced so much change and so much loss, Child. I believe your friends here would say it's expected."
"My friends?"
Stephen spoke from the back side of the sofa, "Hey kiddo."
"Stephen?"
He nodded, "Mary called me. Betsy and I were on our way home. She and Bo were very concerned."
"You didn't need to drive all the way back here. Honestly. I'll be fine. I just need to…"
Mary shook her head, "We had a family meeting, Lauren. Everyone has agreed to… how did you put it, Stephen?"
Betsy laughed, "He told them to lay off and stop placing demands on you."
Lauren sat up and, as Bo expected, she was angry, "You had no right…"
"They had every right, Lauren."
The blonde turned around so quickly, she almost fell off of the couch, but Bo caught her. She spun her legs to the floor and came face to face with Anna and Kate,
"You called Anna? What? Do you think I'm losing my mind?" Her eyes filled with tears as she keyed on Bo, "You let them do this?"
Stephen shook his head from behind Bo, "In her defense, this was my doing. I called Anna and you know that where Anna goes, Kate follows and vice-versa… just like you and Bo will in your future."
Kate spoke, "The night we met… for the second time… on the tall ship…"
"I told you…" Lauren began, but Kate waved her off and continued,
"We talked to you about how we had met for the first time. We talked about our chat in the back of the auditorium at the seminar in Philadelphia. We talked about your security team at the time – they were Jeffrey, Peter and Aaron."
"How did you…" Lauren began, but again, Kate continued,
"We went back through my old journals and looked up their names. I write about every big event in my life. Anna got me started doing it years ago when I lost my first heart attack patient. It helped to journal."
Lauren looked at Bo who smiled, pushing a strand of hair from her face, "See, Lauren? And you thought I was just obsessed with writing."
Kate spoke again, "After our chat, we did go back to your hotel room, Lauren. You don't remember, but the three of us sat at a table in your suite and tackled as many files as we could. Anna sorted them by condition, pulling case files that weren't redacted while you and I studied the cases."
Kate pulled a picture up on her phone and handed it to Lauren, "You held the phone for this selfie because you had the longest arms. That's the three of us and the case files are right in front of us. If you go to the next picture, you'll see Thea's case."
Lauren's eyes went wide, "Oh my…"
"Keep flipping and you'll see that the doctor was Philip Pratt. He had been killed in a car accident in Boston and his Resident was put in charge of the case. He had no idea what to do."
Lauren slowly shook her head, "Patient heart deteriorating rapidly; transplant list; Doctor Lauren Lewis."
Kate nodded, "Those were the notes left by Pratt before his death. That was why his Resident, Doctor Lucas Harris, went to that seminar in Philly. You called and agreed to take the case if he had her transferred to your hospital. He did so first thing on Monday and her new heart came two years later. You did the impossible – kept her heart viable for two years when every other doctor had seen no option other than transplant."
Stephen stood, hands in pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels, "Pratt was one of the best. If he didn't see a solution, you worked some kind of miracle, Lauren."
Kate smiled, "You didn't get the nickname The Eternal Healer for no reason, Lauren."
"I left that nickname in Boston, thank you." The doctor snapped.
"I just want you to realize that what's happening with Thea right now is not your fault. You gave her a real shot at life when no one else did. But that's not my biggest point." She looked to Anna,
"Kate doesn't like to talk about this. It has stuck with her all of these years." She leaned forward, "Lauren, do you remember anything about that conference in Philly?"
The blonde shook her head, "Evony had me flying all over the country three weekends out of the month unless it was winter. I barely remember the places I went let alone what I talked about or who I met."
Anna nodded, "Well, let me tell you what we saw when we first met you. Kate had known of you for years. She was her own personal Lauren Lewis fan club."
"Anna!"
Anna laughed, "What? It's true."
"You don't have to tell her! She's my colleague… and my boss!"
Lauren laughed along with the rest of the room while Kate pouted, "Great! All of you have a good laugh at my expense! Assholes!"
Anna smiled, "Oh, stop. We love you. I love you and you love me. You're going to marry me in two months."
"Yea, well we'll just see about that now, won't we." Kate smiled, looking at Bo, "Would you ever make fun of Lauren like that in front of everyone?"
"Absolutely not." Bo said, puffing out her chest, but Lauren slapped her,
"Liar! You have yet to stop making me the butt of the novice Musher jokes."
Bo laughed as Lauren slapped her again, "Owa! Okay, okay! I'll stop!" She looked up and gave Anna a devilish grin, "Someday."
Anna laughed, earning her another slap from Kate.
"Okay, so seriously… we sat in the back at the conference talking about how you'd come in with a full security team just to make it through the crowd. We didn't understand why a doctor would need security until after your lecture ended. People were upset because you ran out of time to answer all of their questions, so you invited the crowd to stay and ask them if they had them. About two-thirds of the crowd left, but a big group remained. You hopped down off the stage, I imagine thinking they would form an orderly line like professionals, but it was a mob scene."
Anna shook her head, "It was like a movie star leaving a venue surrounded by paparazzi. Kate was really upset by how you were being treated and when someone threw a file at your face, she lost it. She told me to do something, so I stepped outside and called your security in from their posts at the door. They got you up on stage and then had the crowd sit down."
Kate shook her head, "It was horrible… like you were some machine that they were demanding answers from – they were insane."
Anna continued, "We were both so moved by how eloquently you addressed the mob after that. They didn't deserve your kindness or professionalism, but still… you gave it. You had a plan with your security people to excuse yourself anytime you were uncomfortable, and you took the out. You offered to read case files if they were properly redacted and not originals for obvious legal reasons."
Kate's eyes watered at the memory, but she spoke, "You walked up the aisle after everyone had left. They let us stay because we were in the back and not bothering you, but you stopped. Your eyes were sunken and dark… the bags beneath them told us you were beyond tired, and we knew it was Evony pushing you beyond the limits of any normal surgeon. We'd seen her suck the talent out of people before and you were just her latest victim."
"While we were working on the files and eating lunch, you offered Kate a job, but she refused because she wouldn't work for Evony. You got angry when we pressed the rumors about how she treated your staff… we guessed it was because of the contract she had forced you to sign. Our friend Paul was a psychiatrist who took a job at your hospital. He couldn't handle Evony and the contract didn't allow him to practice medicine anywhere else if he left her service. He couldn't find an attorney to take on his case because everyone was afraid of her legal team and what it would cost them."
Lauren shook her head as Anna continued, "He's a happily married man with a family and a job as a college counselor for medical students. He worked behind the scenes to try to talk his students out of working for her. He did, after all, have a copy of his contract – redacted, of course."
"Medical College of Massachusetts." Lauren concluded.
Anna nodded.
"Evony suspected, but she couldn't find the connection to why students were refusing her. She actually blamed Carolyn, Shannon and Kelly at one point."
Anna nodded, "Lauren, I think you are suffering from PTSD… from Evony and whatever else may lie in your past that I'm not aware of at this point. I've worked with two other doctors who worked under her and the symptoms are very similar. Long hours, short vacation stints that are very spontaneous – more of a need to run away than just take a break. Sudden emotional outbursts that key on regrets. Embarrassment over small perceived failures. Sleep disturbance. Confusion over career goals and others."
Lauren nodded, "So your suggestion?"
"My preference would be a six-month sabbatical. Understanding your position and reputation, I would settle for regular sessions – held privately under the guise of professional meetings rather than in my office. I would make house calls… coincidentally drop in on your lunch, meet in your office to discuss my cases, go shopping together – anything that makes you feel comfortable."
Lauren smiled, "I would prefer that I be able to tell people that I'm seeing you for support. It would be yet another way to erase the stigma around mental health."
"You would do that?" Anna asked, surprised.
"Set an example for my staff and patients? Sure, why not?" Lauren replied.
"Wow. I've just never… I mean…"
Lauren smiled, "Remember, Ladies – Stephen and I are building a healthcare system that actually provides for the needs of patients first. That includes mental health."
Kate shook her head, "Lauren, I just want to assure you that if you take the six-month sabbatical, I will give my very best to the job."
Lauren nodded, looking back at Stephen, who turned his attention to Kate, "Well, Chief of Cardiology, you are going to have to clear your schedule for tomorrow because we will need to do video interviews with new candidates…"
Lauren cut Stephen off, "The reason that Stephen and I pushed the staff meeting to Wednesday is because we needed time to plan for some major staffing changes – changes we were going to work on tomorrow."
She paused, placing her elbows on her thighs and leaning forward,
"I had already decided to leave the hospital setting. My first job and first love was trauma surgery. Evony pulled me to Cardiology when I was very young and decided to make me her poster child for the hospital."
Anna nodded, "Right. Because the real money is in cardiology and pharmacology."
"Exactly and we all know that Evony was all about her bottom line. That's how our idea for Lewis-Archer came to be."
"Lauren, what was your plan then?" Kate asked.
They all sat and listened to Lauren talk about her plan prior to this evening. They all sat and listened and then listened some more when Bo talked about the things that Lauren missed about her routine in Boston. Stephen, Betsy and Mary all chimed in about their concerns until finally, Anna had a big picture.
"So, we talk tomorrow?" Anna asked of Lauren.
"Sounds like a plan." Lauren agreed.
Kate looked at Stephen, "We can still work on hiring, yes?"
He nodded his agreement, "Now the real question is who takes Lauren's position at the hospital. Lauren, I believe I have changed my previous position on the matter."
Lauren agreed, "Stephen is going to step in as Co-Chief for a period of six-months, just to be sure the new Chief understands and adheres to our goals and the goals of the doctors on our board with regards to healthcare, budget and not becoming stagnant or static in our 'protocols'.
Lauren lowered her eyes, a scowl forming on her brow before she looked up at Kate, "We talked… I was in the seat in front of you and you agreed with my point of view about doctors being forced to follow protocols rather than using stop-gap measures to determine the best course of action."
Kate nodded with a smile, "It was when I truly knew that you were the person I wanted to learn from. It took remembering you in the middle of that mob to keep me from agreeing to work with you. I wanted it so bad, but I didn't want to become you… what Evony had made you."
"Kate!" Anna scolded, but the Cardiologist was already offering an apology.
Lauren shook it off, "You were right, Kate. I'm so grateful that you refused me and I'm sure I felt that way when you left. I never would have spoken out against her at that time. I was young and felt I needed her to be successful. If someone tells you something long enough, you start to believe it, right?"
Anna nodded, "Unfortunately, that's very true. Especially if you don't have anyone else telling you otherwise."
Lauren nodded, "If Patrick hadn't left his father's company, he never would have reviewed all of the contracts. We would both still be stuck in that void getting sucked into their world of the bottom line. We were pawns – without us, they would have been penniless, but we felt powerless to act. We just didn't know that all along, we held all of the power."
Bo interjected, "I'm no doctor, but I do run several businesses. Can all of this wait until tomorrow? I mean, if your focus is patients first, shouldn't this patient be getting some sleep?"
Anna nodded, "You're absolutely correct, Bo. We all need to adjust our behaviors so that we don't obsess over details that can wait. The hospital doesn't open until the end of April…"
Stephen corrected, "We're pushing that opening to May 10th because Bo has the Iditarod in two weeks, followed by their wedding in March. Then, you two are getting married – and we assume taking a honeymoon – in April, so to accommodate all of those events, we decided to push back the opening. We're keeping the gala as scheduled since everything is ordered."
The pair looked at each other before Kate spoke, "Well, as for our wedding, we're unsure of the venue now, so we can push the start date…"
"No! Absolutely not! You are getting married on time. We will figure out the venue." Lauren insisted, "Do not start doing what I did all of my life. Put each other and your marriage first. We will find enough staffing; you will get time off each week, and we will share patient loads whether I'm at the hospital or not. While patients are first, doctors must come second. I will not allow you to avoid vacations which is why there is a use it or lose your job clause in your contract."
Kate nodded, "I've got to tell you, Lauren. A lot of people thought that clause was financial… for you and Stephen."
Lauren shook her head, "Well, we would be happy for you to set that rumor straight. That clause is for your mental health. You have my permission to use my need for counseling as the reason… on second thought, I will speak to my sabbatical – I will share my story. I think it's time that the dirty laundry be aired."
Anna nodded, "I will be right beside you."
Kate nodded, "We all will."
Mary stepped in, "So, we'll call it a night then? Let these two have some time together."
Anna and Kate stood, "We're sorry if we caught you off guard or you felt we were out of line for coming. We don't know you very well yet, Lauren but we are very much in your corner."
Stephen looked at Lauren who nodded her agreement, before he spoke, "Anna, we would like you to take some time and talk to your partner about you taking the Chief of Staff position."
"Me? But I'm just…"
Lauren interrupted, "The perfect doctor for the job. Who better to look out for what's best for patients, doctors and their families than a psychiatrist? It's not the norm in hospitals across the country, but maybe that's what has been missing."
Anna nodded, "We'll talk and let you know."
Stephen turned to Kate, "Decide how many cardiologists it will take to replace Lauren. If you have docs you think are a good fit and willing to live in Alaska, give them a call… tonight."
Kate nodded, "See you later everyone."
Bo stopped them, "Um… I just looked outside. It's…"
"Shit. It's snowing again?" Kate slumped.
"Uh, you have chosen to live in Alaska." Bo said, with a chuckle.
Anna explained, "No, you misunderstand. She loves the snow and has yet to get out for a hike, climb or a ski."
"Well, why don't you all spend the night? All but two of the barn rooms are ready for guests, right Mom?"
Mary nodded, "They'll be chilly at first, so light the stoves first thing when you get over there."
Bo held out a hand, "Be sure to open the flue first."
"Are you sure?" Anna asked.
Mary nodded, "Absolutely. It wouldn't be safe to go back now. Bo will clear a trail with her team in the morning or you can go in with Carolyn and Shannon by sled if you prefer."
"Carolyn has us scheduled to be off tomorrow."
"Oh? Who has Thea?"
"She's moving back to the clinic tomorrow. They're coming to install the rest of the equipment in patient rooms, so we've got to get her off the floor. There will be plenty of staff to monitor her at the clinic and three cardiologists familiar with her case will be five minutes away." Stephen replied, "It will also be easier for her family to stay at the hotel."
"But if Kate is here…"
Kate shook her head, "Callie Frye came into town two days ago."
"The Cardiologist from John's Hopkins?" Lauren asked.
Kate nodded, "She's giving us a one-year contract and will make her decision about coming on for a long-term commitment after that."
"Right. I remember." She looked to Stephen, "You interviewed her with Shawn Harris at the convention last month."
Stephen nodded, "She's a great pick, Lauren. I just don't know if she'll be willing to settle here. She's a sun and fun kind of gal – a real adventurer."
Kate laughed, "Only doc I know to throw caution to the wind like she does. A real 'you only live once' philosophy."
"Right." Lauren nodded, "Base jumping, sky diving…"
"She was an Olympian in Skeleton," Anna chimed in, "Barreling headfirst down an ice ramp at those speeds… you've gotta have a death wish."
Lauren chuckled, "Is that your professional opinion, Doctor Ricci?"
Kate couldn't help but laugh, "Oh believe me, my dear fiancé has already expressed an interest in getting into that woman's head to see what makes her tick."
"Don't you dare." Lauren laughed.
"I wouldn't, Lauren." Anna smirked, "But I may have to invite her to lunch this week – you know, to tell her all about the things I don't know about Alaska yet."
Again, Kate laughed, "She's already set it up with Kenzi for Wednesday. The plan is for Kenzi to butt into the conversation and explain the hotspots while Anna quizzes her on which adventures she would choose."
Anna twisted her mouth, "It's all very innocent. I'm just curious."
Kate turned to Lauren, "We have a bet that she'll ask Bo to guide her up Denali."
A pang of jealousy hit the blonde doctor, though it passed rather quickly when she remembered Bo's aversion to serving as a guide to outsiders. She decided she'd heard enough about Doctor Callie Frye,
"So where is she staying?" Lauren asked.
Kate replied, "She's all settled in one of the townhouses. I hope you don't mind. I gave her first choice. Patrick handled the sale paperwork with Penelope."
"She bought?"
Kate nodded, "She figured the prices would go up in a year once everything was settled and the hospital was up and running."
"Adventurer and gambler." Anna laughed.
Lauren shrugged off the comments, feeling somewhat unsettled by this newcomer. She wanted to bring this conversation to an end,
"Well, it sounds like you all have everything well in hand."
Anna smiled, "You've hired good people who really believe in what you're going here, Lauren. If you decide to take that sabbatical, we'll do our best to make you damn proud… and only call you if we absolutely have to."
Lauren nodded, "Thank you. Thank you all."
Anna turned to Bo, "You have to make sure she doesn't go into guilt mode. Asking for help is okay. Letting employees do their job is okay. Stepping back isn't abandoning us. Stepping back is trusting us to follow her lead. She's our inspiration…" she lowered her eyes, "… something Evony never was to those of us who had worked in one of her hospitals."
She lifted her eyes to Bo's again, "Lauren is going to want to go to the hospital or the clinic. Don't let her – that's just boredom. Take her out. Do something fun."
Lauren shook her head, "Bo has to train. She's got…"
She was interrupted by Kate's laughter, "The Iditarod in two weeks. We know. Everyone knows. Her face is everywhere." She turned, to Bo, "So how about taking her on a training run? Is there any harm in that?"
Bo looked at Lauren, "I never thought to ask. I just assumed…"
"…I wouldn't want to go out on a sled? It's one of my favorite things to do." Lauren asked.
Bo nodded, "Okay. Training run tomorrow. You're the Musher, I'm on the bench behind you."
Lauren's eyes went wide, "You would let me drive your sled?"
Bo nodded, "The dogs get their training, you get yours and I get a much-needed rest since I haven't slept for two days."
"Yes!" Lauren grinned, her arms raised over her head.
Stephen turned to Mary, "Now that smile is just what we all need to see more of."
"Agreed." Mary replied, "You'll find your way over to the barn?"
"We've got it." Stephen said, taking Betsy's hand.
"Thank you for coming." Mary said to Kate and Anna as they left the living room and walked through the kitchen to garage, "Remember that smile on Lauren's face and remember that you two put that smile there for the first time since… well, probably since you last laughed with her."
Anna nodded, "Thank you for having Stephen call us. We're here if you need anything and by the way, please tell Bo it was an honor to meet her."
Mary smiled, "I will."
She watched them walk through the side exit before closing the kitchen door. She sighed, moving to the cabinet to make her teas before heading back through the living area to see Bo and Lauren laying on the couch together, their eyes set on the fire as they spoke in soft tones to one another. She smiled, her heart swelling with the knowledge that their love was helping them to find their way through this difficult time,
"Goodnight, my girls."
"Goodnight, Mom." Bo said.
"Goodnight, Mary." Lauren added.
Mary smiled down at the doctor, "I believe you've earned the right to call me Mom, yes?"
Lauren's eyes welled with tears, "Thank you… for tonight."
Mary nodded, "I'm sorry if you feel I overstepped."
The blonde shook her head, "You were just looking out for me… like any mother would. You were right to call them… Mom."
"Thank you for listening to them, Daughter."
Lauren nodded, watching her walk away. She smiled as she turned back to the fire, propping her chin up on her crossed forearms,
"I love that woman."
Bo smiled, "Every day I remember more and more why I loved her so much that I searched for her for a decade. She's quite special."
Lauren agreed, "In many ways… just like her daughter."
The blonde turned to Bo who smiled, "Let's find our happiness, Lauren… whatever that is… let's find it together."
Lauren nodded, "That sabbatical sounds perfect, but I can't say that I'm not concerned about what the donors would do if I vanished for that amount of time."
Bo shrugged, "I think that's the wrong concern. The real concern is whether or not they agree with the philosophy they've put their money behind. If they do, it's a no brainer to support their top surgeon whether she's a patient or the owner of the hospital."
The blonde smiled, "Good point. I guess we'll see."
Bo nodded, "I suppose you will, but I think that if you get all of those top doctors you've recruited to the gala and they make a good showing, it should put the investors' minds at ease. I don't know medicine, Lauren, but I do know business and I've built several despite having a town who believed I was a dangerous murderer. Face to face meetings are crucial."
"That's good advice. Thank you, Bo."
The brunette smiled, "You're welcome. Now, are you ready to get some sleep?"
Lauren nodded, "Will you wait while I go upstairs, get cleaned up and change into something more comfortable?"
Bo smiled, "Of course, Lauren. I'm here for you – whatever you need."
"Together?" Lauren asked.
Bo nodded, fingering the ring on the blonde's hand, "Always."
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