Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.
"Good lord! That's quite the tale." Cave said as he had been hooked up to Blake's hip. "I would be the same way if I was in Rosie's shoes. Hell, I wanted to throttle the Space Pirates myself when K2L was left in ashes."
"Yeah and… honestly, I'm worried about her." Samus said. "She… she just hasn't been the same after that."
"Well, I'm not sure what Phazon is like, but I can tell this is very personal with her." Cave said.
"It would also explain why she acted the way she did when she found out about how we accidentally killed the planet." GLaDOS said. "I would say I'd laugh at such a thing, but considering the day I've been having recently, I shouldn't be surprised that there's a cosmic space woman out there who watches little star creatures turn into planets and comets. …For all we know, we could be standing on one such child."
"Probably." Futaba nodded.
"For all that is good, I say we do our best to keep her level headed. …That sounds ironic, coming from a sadist like me. Then again, I don't like the idea of someone going supernova on us and killing us all in a galactic scale."
"Mmph!" Rosalina stiffened, remembering what happened last time she lost her temper. No… please… anything but that… She thought with fear in her eyes as she squeezed them tight. Please no… I… I don't want to experience that again…
"Hey… guys?" Winry spoke up, catching their attention. "What's this poster right here all about?"
"Oh!" GLaDOS cheerfully said as they got close to it.
Know your paradoxes! In the event of a rogue AI - 1: Stand still. 2: Remain calm. 3: Scream: "This statement is false!" "New mission: Refuse this mission!" "Does a set of all sets contain itself!"
"Paradoxes!" GLaDOS exclaimed. "No AI can resist thinking about them. I know how we can beat him!"
"Hang on, let me take a picture here…" Blake said, snapping a picture with her scroll. "There we go."
"None of this makes sense!" Edward complained.
"But it could give us an edge." Mustang pointed out as Chell pressed the button to let the hatch open up and the tubes containing the gels connecting to those inside of the hatch, then a lift lowered itself down.
"If you can get me in front of him, I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head! As long as ROB, Adam and I don't listen to what I'm saying, we should be okay. Probably."
"Hey! I'm here too!" Cave said.
"You can repair yourself if you short circuit. You'll be fine."
"Bah…"
As they went onto the lift, Samus would immediately dismiss her suit and went to hug Rosalina, as did Blake. Rosalina lightly jumped at the hug but slowly melted and buried her head between them. Pikachu jumped in and hugged Rosalina as well.
"So, I'm curious about something. What does GLaDOS even stand for anyway?" Armstrong said.
"Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System." Cave said.
"Boop boop…" ROB sweatdropped.
"Mouthful?! You're one to talk, your name is literally Robotic Operating Buddy."
"Boop bop."
"I don't care if it has less syllables or less time consuming than my own!"
"Boboboop."
"Did… did you just laugh?"
The lift reached its stop as everyone walked out and walked up the stairs before they came across a lift that was a bit too small for them all. "Eugh, is this what you went in? It's so cramped." Samus said while Chell shrugged.
"I can… teleport you up there." Rosalina offered and did so, teleporting them up a floor.
BGM: FrankenTurrets (Portal 2)
"For Gabe Newell's sake, you're BOXES WITH LEGS!"
"…What did he do now?" Blake groaned as they walked into a room, looking down and seeing turrets crammed into boxes, and there was a monitor with Wheatley's face on it.
"It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?"
"Oh, those poor things…" Rosalina quietly said as Chell couldn't even believe what she was seeing.
"That's just cruel…" Samus said.
"Get us down there, I'll hit him with a paradox." GLaDOS said as Chell fired a portal to sneak their way around.
"Warmer. Warrrrrmer. Boiling hot. Boiling- okay, colder. Ice cold. Deep space freezing. Very very very very cold. LOOK, JUST GET ON THE BUTTON! Oh, that's funny, is it? Because we've been at this for hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing!"
"…Has it been hours since we've been down there?" Winry asked in surprise.
"Apparently so." Futaba sweatdropped.
"You've got one hour! Solve it!"
The others hopped off the catwalk and walked into the room. "Alright, we solve this puzzle and I'll give him a paradox." GLaDOS said with a sadistic gleefulness as Armstrong picked up a FrankenTurret and put it down on the switch, and then Wheatley came back on the screen.
"Ha ha! Yes! I knew you'd solve it!"
"Yo!" Edward called out.
"Oh. Hello."
"Heheh, paradox time! This. Sentence. Is. FALSE! Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it…"
"Um… TRUE, I'll go true. Huh, that was easy."
"…Huh?" Blake blinked a few times.
"Wait, what?' Samus tilted her head.
"I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating."
"It's a paradox! THERE IS NO ANSWER!" GLaDOS yelled in disbelief.
"Look, this whole planet is going to blow up if we don't get GLaDOS back in her body!" Blake exclaimed.
"Aaaah… false. I'll go with false."
"Explosion imminent. Evacuate the planet immediately."
"Hold on! I thought I fixed that." Wheatley moved away.
"Warning! Reactor core is at critical temper-" Static.
"There! Fixed." Wheatley came back on screen. "Hey, it is GREAT to see you guys again! It turns out I'm a little short on test subjects right now. So this works out perfect! …Aaaand off we go!"
"Well, that didn't work out." Winry said.
"Hold on a moment!" Futaba smirked. "New Mission: Refuse the mission!"
"Hmm… what if I don't refuse the mission?" Wheatley pointed out. "I can easily choose to accept it."
"…What. Okay… Does a set of all sets contain itself!"
"Um… yes. Wait, no." Wheatley thought about it. "Actually, yes. It feels very similar to a chipmunk chucking wood."
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Futaba yelled.
"Welp… might as well do this the hard way." Samus said. "Come on, let's go." Chell would tug Samus on the shoulder. "Hmm? What is it?"
Chell pointed to Adam, ROB and Cave who had definitely short circuited on the paradoxes, including the FrankenTurrets. "Oh…"
"Well… crap, we gotta reboot them." Edward groaned.
"I got it." Samus said as she smacked them on their heads.
"Boop!"
"YOWCH! Ooof! I'm okay! I think my motherboard fried a bit." Adam rubbed his head.
"I LIVE! Again." Cave chuckled.
"…How did that not affect me?" GLaDOS wondered as they walked through the doors and onto the catwalks, where another screen pulled down in front of them.
"You have no idea what it's like in this body." Wheatley said. "I have to test! All the time… or I get this… this itch! It must be hardwired into the system or something. Oh… but when I do test? Hoho! Man alive! Nothing feels better… it's just… why, I've gotta test, I've gotta test!" He said as they went into an elevator.
"Uh oh…"
"So… you're gonna test. I'm gonna watch… and everything will be JUST. FINE."
"Warning: Core overheating. Planet wide meltdown imminent."
"SHUT UP!"
"…We're in trouble, aren't we?" Alphonse asked.
"Very!" GLaDOS agreed as they came to the first test that Wheatley created.
"Designed this test myself. It's a little bit difficult. Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous… eventually. Not at the moment. Still working on it, still working on it…"
Edward pressed the button in front of him, where a cube would come out and land right on a switch, activating the door. "That was it?!"
"Oooooohhhh! Yes… ooooh, well done…" Wheatley said.
"…He sounds like he just… oh gods." Blake's ears lowered in disgust.
I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know… Rosalina thought as she teleported them to the other side.
"Ohohohoho, that's tremendous. Oh, that felt really good! Oh! Here's an idea, since making tests is difficult, why don't you just keep solving THIS test. Same one. And I can just… watch you solve it. Yes, that sounds much easier."
Futaba stared at Wheatley. "…Has anyone ever told you the definition of insanity?"
"Why yes, of course! It's the state of being seriously mentally ill. It's madness!"
"No. It's doing the same freaking thing over and over again. You're gonna go insane watching us do the same test over and over again and expect a different result. So why don't you just make us a new one already?"
"Whaaaaat? No, that's crazy talk. Just humor me. You're gonna love it."
End BGM
One same result later…
"…Aaaand, nothing. Huh, you might be on to something. I did not feel satisfied that time."
"Told ya!" Futaba smirked before she came to a realization, her eyes widening and her smirk disappearing. Wait… why do I feel like I just screwed us over? Whoops…
"Alright, let's see here… new tests, new tests…" Everyone walked over to the lift. "Oh! Here we go!"
"So uh… I think I might have screwed us over." Futaba grimaced.
"Don't feel too bad. It might get him to think for a bit. If he even has a brain. The paradox didn't work, so this might be what we have to do for a bit. It probably shouldn't be too hard to find him as long as we don't die."
"Yeah, hopefully." Cave said as Rosalina teleported them up as they walked into the next chamber.
"It's alright! Everything's good. I just invented some new tests." Wheatley said.
"This is one of my tests!" GLaDOS said, staring at the Excursion Funnel in front of them.
"Not entirely, not entirely. Look at the word 'test' on the wall. That's brand new."
"Riiiiiight…" Blake rolled her eyes as Chell knew exactly what to do, firing portals at the ceiling and walls to work their way through the chamber, all with a confident smirk on her face as she picked up the FrankenTurret and let it go through the funnel as it hit the switch, then they headed through.
"Ya know, with the way you're teleporting, I could find a way to make the lifts bigger… or I could just remove them entirely all for Aerial Faith Plates, but what can ya do." Wheatley said as Rosalina teleported them up.
"Okay, so, just a heads up, since he's using my tests against all of us, I'm afraid I can't help you solve them." GLaDOS said.
"Why not?" Mustang asked.
"I'd rather not talk about it."
"Suit yourself!" Cave said as they walked through the doors to see a very… convoluted test.
BGM: Excursion Funnel (Portal 2)
"Yeah, made this test myself. Out of some smaller tests that I found… lying around. Jammed 'em all together. Buttons. Got funnels. Bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's absolute dynamite."
"This… is one… gigantic clusterfuck." Samus said bluntly. "And that's putting it nicely."
Just wait… Futaba thought and then had an idea. "Hey Wheatley! I'm just curious. Which way are we supposed to go?"
"Oh, it's simple, really." Wheatley happily chimed in. "You see that button over there? All you have to do is-" Suddenly, loud static noises were heard. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
"Heheh." Futaba smirked devilishly.
"And THAT is why I can't help you." GLaDOS said.
"Hah… hah… never mind… Solve it yourself, you're on your own."
"Sucker!" Futaba grinned.
"Nice one! I would've done it myself." Edward said, high fiving Futaba as Rosalina took one look at the test before rolling her eyes and simply levitated everyone off the ground and made their way to the end of the chamber where she manipulated the gravity on a cosmic test cube she made and hit the switch.
"I… I would say you're cheating but you're thinking outside the box so… heh… that feels goooood." Wheatley chuckled.
"Well, all we did was press that lever." Rosalina said.
"Huh? No, you just pressed the but-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
Rosalina let out a small chuckle. "Oh, that felt good." She said with a small smile.
"Aww, I wanted to try that out buuuuut you did need some sort of catharsis. Feel better?"
"Honestly? Worth it." Rosalina responded as they teleported up.
"Ya know, the good news is, he's going to run out of tests. I never stockpiled them." GLaDOS said proudly as they walked into the next chamber.
"Wait wait wait, don't start without me!" Wheatley came up on a screen. "You're not going to believe this. I found a sealed off wing. Hundreds. HUNDREDS! …Of perfectly good test chambers just sitting there! Filled with skeletons… shook them out, good as new."
Chell slowly turned to GLaDOS with a glare and her hands on her hips while GLaDOS sweatdropped. "Skeletons. Riiiiight… I guess I did stockpile some tests. Just as mementos, though."
"Booooop…" ROB said.
"You stockpiled that many skeletons? Caroline, I didn't think you'd be THIS insane!" Cave said.
"I wasn't the one who forced me into a robot without my consent!"
"Still sour about that?"
"Are we just ignore the fact the test chamber is going to collide into this one?" Blake spoke up.
"This is gonna get interesting!" Samus exclaimed as Rosalina put up a force field as the chamber slammed into theirs, grinding its way forward and destroying everything in sight until it came to a gentle abrupt stop.
"…Um, Ed? You can stop protecting me." Winry said.
"Right right…" Ed pulled away.
"Not sure why you were protecting me, I can handle myself." Riza said.
"Well, uh… ya know, don't want any debris hitting ya." Mustang cleared his throat. "Of course, we have a force field…"
"Aaaand there we go. Be honest, you can't even tell, can you? Seamless!"
"There are cracks on the floor!" Futaba pointed out.
"Pika Ka Chu!" Pikachu agreed.
"Naaaaw, that was there before you got here. It's decoration." Wheatley said as they tested their way through the chamber and soon got the FrankenTurret onto the button. "Oooooh! Yeah… that's the stuff… wait… mmm… disappointing."
End BGM
"Uh oh…" GLaDOS said as they walked toward the lift.
"What is it?" Blake asked.
"It's sooner than expected… mmm, we should be fine. Keep humoring him while ROB and I find a way out. We might need Adam's help."
"Hold on." Adam flew up and landed on ROB's head. "Okay, here we go… connecting to your body… and there we go."
"Perfect. …Oh my Newell, what is this? You were put into a machine against your will… AND YOU WERE DEAD?!"
"Hey hey, those are my memories, thank you very much!"
"Hey, mind if I join the party too?" Cave asked.
"No."
"Saw that coming."
"I'll tell you later." Samus told Chell, who simply nodded as they teleported up to the next chamber.
BGM: TEST (Portal 2)
"Okay, so that last test was seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you, so let's try her way." Wheatley said. "Four eyes! Fake cat girl! Cosmic Dunce! Mechanical dunce! Boring robot! Rat! Shorty, shorty's brother, egghead, fire starter, Itchy trigger finger! Fake muscles! Bimbo! Tiny forgettable robot and of course… mute with dead parents who's a little on the fat side!"
"…Wow. He wasn't even trying." Blake deadpanned.
"Mechanical dunce?" Samus tilted her head.
"Cosmic dunce? You have to try harder." Rosalina admitted.
"Bimbo? Seriously?" Olivier raised an eyebrow.
"…Ya know, I would be angry here, but the way "shorty" was said, it's like it was half assed. Come on, say it with gusto!" Ed said. "…Wait, what am I saying? Why am I encouraging him!"
"I'm not that forgettable." Adam said.
"Hey! My niece is a well toned young lady, thank you very much!"
"…What?" Wheatley tilted his head. "Who said that?"
"I did! I'm on the cat girl's hip!" Cave said.
"Wait a se-… CAVE JOHNSON?!" Wheatley yelled. "I thought you were dead!"
"Well, you thought wrong, pal! And we're gonna get you off of that high pedestal of yours!"
"Also, you big fat moron! Chell is not fat. LOOK AT HER!"
"I! AM NOT! A MORON!" Wheatley yelled. "Just… just do the test." He said, and as they figured things out with the Excursion Funnel, including reversing it by pressing the button, they worked their way through the door. "Rrrrrgh! It's not enough! If I'm such a moron, why can't you solve a simple test!"
"…Is he okay?" Winry asked.
"I… might have taken it a bit too far." GLaDOS admitted as they teleported up a floor.
End BGM
BGM: Machiavellian Bach (Portal 2)
"Wait… what the…?" Blake wondered.
"Oh great, he's playing classical music…" GLaDOS groaned as they walked into the chamber as they heard the sound of pages turning.
"Hmm? What? Oh sorry sorry, hope that didn't disturb you just then. It was the sound of books… pages being turned." He said as Chell and Samus took this chamber by launching off of an Aerial Faith Plate as they shot their portals and manipulated the funnels around. "So that's what I was doing. I was just reading… ah… books, so I'm not a moron. Anyway, just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli. Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?"
Rosalina smiled. "Actually, I have. It's a really good book but… it's not really a page turner."
"Whaaaat? Are you kidding? It was easy to read!"
"True, but it got boring. Now if you really want a page turner, might I suggest The Starving Games or the Harry Magikoopa series? Those are real good page turners. I've read them thousands of times."
"Ooooh! You gotta hook me up with those. Those sound really good! They sound very riveting!"
"It is. Really suspenseful and dramatic, you might have a few favorite characters you might like. They even turned them into movies!" Rosalina smiled. "Though, I don't see the whole fuss about it, they never get certain scenes right."
"Oh my gosh, THANK YOU! I NEVER understand movie adaptations! What's the point of making a movie adaptation out of a book if you're not gonna include a favorite moment? It should include all of it! Why, just the other day-"
Rosalina turned to them. "That should distract him." She smiled.
"Ya know, I never liked movie adaptations either. They always cut out or change scenes. Not my cup of tea." Blake admitted as Chell put the FrankenTurret on the switch, then she whistled to cue them as Rosalina teleported the others away.
"And to top it all off-… Wait a minute, WHAT?! WHAT WAS THAT?! That was nothing! That was nothing!"
End BGM
"The body he's squatting in, MY body, has a built in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it and it can get a bit… unbearable. Unless if you have the mental capacity to push past it. It didn't matter to me, I was in it for the science. Him, though…"
"That doesn't sound good." Samus said.
"Right. If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble." GLaDOS said as Rosalina teleported them to the next chamber.
"Don't mind me! Just moving the test chamber a little closer to me. Had a thought: Maybe proximity to the test solving might give us stronger results." Wheatley guessed as the whole place started rumbling with the alarms blaring.
"It won't."
"What was that?"
"Nothing! Nothing…"
"Oh, sorry, I could've sworn you said something."
"He's taking us right to him! This is PERFECT!" GLaDOS whispered.
Rosalina turned her head, seeing the switch behind a wall. "Oh, that's easy."
"…Too easy." Samus said as she walked over toward the ledge and peeked down to see Turrets in the wall. "Aha… just as I thought. Death. Mustang, Riza, you wanna take these out? I'll cover you."
"You sure that's a good idea?" Riza asked.
"I got some energy tanks. I'll get by." Samus reassured as the two nodded as they hopped down.
"Target acquired." One Turret said as Mustang and Riza proceeded to take them out while Samus took a few bullets, where she'd notice her energy having gone down a bit.
"Just as I thought." Samus said as Rosalina hopped down and placed a cosmic cube on the switch, opening the door for them.
"Are you… are you absolutely sure you're solving these correctly? I mean, yes, you solved it, but I'm wondering if there are a number of ways to solve them and you're picking all the worst ways." Wheatley guessed as they were teleported out of the chamber courtesy of Rosalina. "No no, that was the solution in your own way. Rrrgh! What am I missing!"
"I think he's getting desperate." Winry said.
"Yeah… agreed." Futaba said as Rosalina then teleported them up a floor.
"Surely, it must be getting exhausting teleporting us all the time." GLaDOS said.
"Mmm, it uses a tiny fraction of my power. I don't mind." Rosalina smiled as the whole planet rumbled. "Mmph!"
"Well, that's not good!" Cave said as they walked into the next chamber.
"Had a brainwave. I'm going to tape you solving these, and then watch ten at once- get a concentrated burst of science. Oh, on a related note: I'm going to need you to solve these ten times as fast. Anyway, just give me a wave before you solve this one, alright? Don't want to spoil the ending for when I watch it later."
Oh, I'll give you a wave, alright… Chell thought.
"Wheatley, let me ask you something. How in the HELL do you watch ten recordings at once? Clearly, you need to think bigger. TWENTY recordings is where it's at!" Cave said.
"Twenty recordi- are you mad?!"
"Nope, just scientifically insane!"
"Oh, THERE'S a shock!" GLaDOS snarkily said.
"How exactly do you run a facility when you watch ten recordings at once? Seriously, I've done twenty at one point! …It did NOT do my head any favors, but it was informative that I needed to stop before I go mad. I almost went thirty at one point!"
"Cave, I am seriously concerned for your mental health. How are you even alive? How did you even STAY alive even after you plugged GLaDOS in?"
"Like I said, I'm scientifically insane! I even have a PhD for that!"
"That's a thing?" Futaba wondered.
"Listen, Wheatley. You gotta think bigger! You gotta expand on the wonders of the universe!"
"That's what I'm doing! I'm looking at every corner of the universe and I'm seeing this one planet covered entirely in this blue goo! I think it's called Phazon… it spread rapidly pretty fast!"
"Wait, come again?" Blake asked.
"Yeah! Apparently this planet, I think it was called Remnant, it got itself covered pretty good. The good news is, most of the residents were evacuated. The bad news is, you don't have a planet to go back to."
In the Observatory…
"Did I hear that right?!" Ruby exclaimed.
"Oh no…" Weiss whispered.
Palutena closed her eyes. "I was afraid of that…"
Back with them…
"Not to worry. We can just beat the hell out of Dark Samus and the Phazon issue will be gone!" Samus said.
"Well, here's hoping you do because I don't like the idea of being corrupted!"
"Yeah, and by the way! We already completed this test!" Ed called out as Chell landed on the ground with the platforms slowly raising.
"WHAT?! HOW DID YOU SOLVE IT?!"
"It's called distractions! Look it up!" Cave laughed.
"I… I told you to… tell me… aaaargh! Why are you making this so HARD for me?!" Wheatley grumbled as they walked out as Blake got several texts from her friends.
We're watching you from Palutena's all seeing eye… thing. We heard it all. - Weiss
I… seriously hope we can kill Dark Samus once this is over. - Yang
Do we even HAVE a home at this point? - Ruby
Guys, I think we just have a new motivation to destroy them. Besides, you heard Samus. We'll destroy that bitch for good and everything will be fine. Blake responded back.
I sure hope so! - Ruby
Blake… I hope you and Samus are right… - Weiss
"We can do this… I know we can." Rosalina said, determination in her voice but with a minor tone of anger, then the whole facility shook again.
"Ahem, so… remember when I told you that he was specifically designed to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain any of the crucial functions required to keep this planet from exploding."
"Somehow, I'm not sure how I didn't make this planet blow up from my wild hairs… but I did kill it, so there's that." Cave mumbled as they teleported up… and then a more violent explosion occurred.
"Oh, this poor planet…" Rosalina groaned and when they got to the next chamber, she glared at the monitor. "You fool, this place is self destructing!"
"Was. WAS self destructing. Already fixed it." Another tremor. "Programmed in one last tremor, for old time's sake." Another one. "Two. One or more two tremors in there. Just for fun."
"Warning: Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent."
"I let him keep his job. I'm not a monster. Ignore what he's saying, though. Keep testing!" Wheatley said as Rosalina took one look at the lasers and proceeded to manipulate them to where they opened the door for them. "Agh, of course you'd manipulate the lasers your way." He mumbled as they walked through the door, only to see empty space. "Sorry about the lift, it's uh… out of service… because it melted."
"MELTED?! You're crazy!" Edward yelled as they were forced to hitch a ride on the Excursion Funnel.
"Might as well give you the tour… to the left, you'll see some lights of some kind. Don't know what they do, but very sciencey anyway. And on to your right…" A massive wall came crumbling and started moving toward them. "Something huge hurtling toward yo- OH NO! RUN! THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!"
CRASH!
It almost crushed them hadn't Rosalina intervened. "Are you alright down there? Here, let me turn off the beam…" They started to fall. "WAIT WAIT WAIT! NOOOO! Ooooh, not helpful! Don't know why I thought that would help." He mumbled, unaware of Rosalina catching everyone as they gently landed on a catwalk.
"After seeing what he's done to my facility, after I take over again… is it alright if I kill him?"
"Torment him the way you tormented me!" Cave chimed in.
"Nah, it's not good enough."
They hopped down into a room and walked through a door into another chamber. "Agh! You're all alive! Great! I was worried you were all dead… besides, I couldn't find another test subject anyway. I did consider those at that Observatory that's docked near the plane-"
"Don't. Even. Think about it." Rosalina said in a low voice, giving him a piercing glare.
"Yipe! You okay? You look veeeeery Mama Bear right now… that death glare you're giving me is very… disturbing. I, uh… I'll just go ahead and give you an exit since there's no exit point." He said as he made an exit for them "Oh! That reminds me, I've made a room where there's a BIG surprise for all of you, I think you'll love it."
"…Death trap." Samus said.
"I was about to say the same thing." Blake said with Chell nodding.
"Boop boop!" ROB agreed with Adam nodding as Rosalina simply teleported toward the door as they walked through as Armstrong forced the doors open.
"I think I struck a nerve… you didn't bother to solve that. I apologize! I'm sure this surprise will cheer you up! In fact, you're gonna love it… to death. Heheh, yeah, love it until it kills you. Until you're dead. Although, I don't know if you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but-"
"Yes, we get it." GLaDOS said. "I don't think he's being subtle anymore. If he is, then wow… that's sad." She added as Rosalina teleported them up a floor as they walked through the chamber but something came crashing down and destroyed half of the hallway, but also spilled Conversion Gel.
"Whoops! Sorry, my bad… butterfingers!"
"I think he's trying to kill us, or WILL kill us."
"Eh, we survived worse." Samus waved it off as Chell nodded.
One test later…
"Oh, good for you. You solved this test. Carry on!"
"He sounds too… happy." Blake said as they went to the lift.
"Agreed. Too inexplicably happy all of a sudden, even though he should be going out of his mind going through test withdrawal. AND he's got a surprise for all of us and to make amends for Rosie, I guess. What did he FIND back there?"
"Neurotoxin." Olivier said.
"No way, he wouldn't be THAT stupid with handling of Neurotoxin… would he?"
"I wouldn't put it past him." Futaba said as they teleported up a floor.
"I bet you're DYING to know what your surprise is… heh, well, only two more chambers! Heheh…"
"We're running out of time. ROB, Adam, help me find a way out."
"We're trying!"
"Boop boop…" ROB admitted as they walked toward the empty room and saw a simple test with an Aerial Faith Plate.
"Oh, this looks easy." Edward said as he walked forward.
"ED, WAIT!" Futaba yelled.
"Huh?" Edward turned his head as he stepped on it… and started to launch toward the right instead of going forward. "WAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Surpriiiiiise! We're doing it now!"
"Welp, might as well join him… just to save him!" Samus said as she and Chell jumped onto the plate as did everyone else, though Rosalina decided to fly her way around to catch up.
"Okay, credit where it's due: For a little idiot built specifically to come up with stupid, unworkable plans, that was a pretty well laid trap." GLaDOS admitted as Samus used her Grapple Beam to pull Ed close to them while Rosalina flew close by the beam.
"You've probably figured it out by now, but I don't need you all anymore! I found two little robots back here, built specifically for testin'!"
"Oh no, he found Atlas and P-Body… and the cooperative testing initiative. It's… something I came up to phase out human testing after I finally destroyed Chell. It's not anything personal, it's just… ya know, you're the last human and if I killed you, there would've been nothing left. Fair's fair."
A panel suddenly launched them out of the beam and sent them flying. "Oh!" Rosalina exclaimed as she flew after them.
"Welp… this is the part where he kills us." GLaDOS said as they all landed.
BGM: The Part Where He Kills You (Portal 2)
"Hello! This is the part where I kill you!"
At the Observatory…
"Oh my! They're at the part where he kills them!" Palutena exclaimed.
"WHAT?! They're at the part where he kills them?! That's a rookie mistake!" Sarge exclaimed. "That's it, I say some of us go in there and-"
"Achievement unlocked! They're at the part where he kills them!" Ibuki chimed in as they all stared at her. "…What?"
Back at Aperture…
The group all stared at the steel plates decked out in spikes aimed at all of them. "Had a bit of a brain wave. There I was, smashing some steel plates together, and I thought 'Yes, it's deadly. But what's missing, what's missing?' And I thought lots of sharp bits welded onto the flat bits and so I thought-"
Pause BGM
Rosalina whistled, catching their attention as she was floating above them. "What?! How did I miss you?! Augh! Whatever, after I crush your friends, you can kindly teleport there so I can crush you too!"
"How about… no?" Rosalina snapped her fingers with a smirk, teleporting them to the catwalk behind them right as the steel plates crashed onto the pillar.
Resume BGM (Now start at 1:15)
"ACK NO NO NO! Come back! Please, come back!" Chell would wave them over as they started running through the catwalks. "Okay, if you come back, I promise not to kill you! Aw. Just thinking back to the old days when we were friends. Good old friends. Not enemies, and I'd say something like 'come back' and you'd be all 'no problem!' and you'd come back. What happened to those days?"
"Chell!" Samus cued, finding some platforms as she and Chell would fire portals together as they would leap down and use the momentum to go through the catwalks and landing gracefully.
"Can't help but notice you're not coming back. Which is disappointing. Oh! I've got an idea!" Wheatley exclaimed as they ran through the catwalk and saw a FrankenTurret in front of it, only for part of the wall to smash through and destroy said FrankenTurret, not even close to hitting them. "YES! YES! IN YOUR FACE! GOT YO-… ah, nope." He mumbled as Chell fired two portals as they got out on the other side. "Fine. Let the games… begin."
As they continued to escape, they would notice a wall closing in on them. "Hold on, hold on, hold on… almost there… continue escaping!" He said as the wall crashed through the catwalk and nearly made them fall but Rosalina caught them as the wall came to a grinding halt as Samus fired a few portals inside.
"This feels like a trap but we got no other option. Go!" Rosalina said as they went inside and then she flew in as the catwalk fell into the abyss.
End BGM
"HA! DEATH TRAP!" Wheatley yelled as defective turrets came down and surrounded them all.
"We're back!"
"Hi there!"
"Well, hello strangers!"
"This time…"
"Pffft! Ha!" Blake laughed.
"…Are they killing you? They're killing you, aren't they? …Silently killing you. Probably. If I had to guess. Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes. That would explain the extremely… quiet killing. That I'm hearing."
Samus opened up the door as they would leap over and land on the catwalk, which was loud enough to make noise. "HA! Were those your bullet-riddled bodies flying out of the room? It was-… aww, those were the crap turrets, weren't they? Yeah… Well! No matter! Because I'm still holding ALL the cards, and guess what? They're all Full Houses! I've never played cards, meaning to learn…"
"How moronic can one core be?" Samus deadpanned.
"I don't wanna know." Cave said.
"Anyway, new Turrets! Not defective. Ace of fours. The best ha-" Futaba, Samus, Blake and Riza quickly destroyed them, as Chell would fire a portal into the funnel as all of them would hop into it. "Aaaah… I see, clever… veeeery clever… and FOOLISH!" The walls opened up in front of them to reveal grinders. "No way out! At my mercy and I don't have any! You're at my nothing… spinny blade wall! Machiavellian!"
With a roll of the eyes, Rosalina conjured up a small comet and threw it at the blade wall, destroying it easily. "Wait, did you just…?!" GLaDOS said in surprise.
"Whoa!" Cave said as Chell jawdropped at it.
"…Holy mackeral…" Wheatley said in disbelief as they hopped off, Samus high fiving Rosalina without even looking. "…Well, good! Good! Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect." An Excursion Funnel came out of nowhere and hijacked Rosalina.
"Whoa!"
"…Did he just kidnap her?" Futaba asked.
"Kidnapping a woman who can teleport. Pffft, that's hilarious." Samus snarked.
"Holmes vs Moriarty!" Wheatley said to Rosalina as she looked down and saw a mashing spike plate ready to kill her. Of course, Rosalina didn't look surprised. She just looked bored. This was the best he can do? "Aristotle vs MASHY SPIKE PLATE!"
Rosalina simply moved out of the way, faking a yawn. "Stay. STILL. Please!" Wheatley said, doing his best to try and squish Rosalina like a bug but she casually floated away. "STOP MOVING!"
"Is this honestly the best you can do?" Rosalina asked, with Wheatley unaware of everyone sneaking past her.
"Well, it would be if you HELD STILL!" Wheatley kept slamming it into her but Rosalina simply moved out of the way.
"Too slow. Missed me. Ooooh, barely had me there. You know, there's a saying that Daisy had taught me. You, sir, can kiss my-"
At the Observatory…
"YEAH! YOU TELL 'EM! YOU GO GIRL!" Daisy cheered. "Oh! It feels great to finally rub off on her!"
"Uh… Daisy? She said butt and not the… alternative." Peach told her.
"…STILL COUNTS!"
Back with them…
"If I had lips, I probably would! Which I don't! STAND STILL! …Or float still or whatever!"
Goodness, even I knew that was a figure of speech. Rosalina giggled. "Honestly, you're boring me."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was boring you… TO DEATH!" Wheatley mashed her again but Rosalina had teleported away onto the catwalk, where the wall would fall and cave onto the mashing spike plate to destroy it. "Ack!"
Rosalina smiled, playfully sticking her tongue out at him as she walked off with a happy smile on her face. "Worth it."
"Where'd you go?! Come back, come back! I refuse to admit that the lady of the cosmos has superior intellect over mine!"
"With age comes wisdom." Rosalina casually said.
"Damn!" Edward, GLaDOS and Cave said at once.
"Shots fired." Futaba grinned as they continued to walk as a pipe fell onto the catwalk and spilled repulusion gel everywhere.
"Did something break back there? …Oh! Did it kill the cosmic woman? Did it kill her? Oh, that would've been amazing if it did! …Hello?" Rosalina let out a giggle as Chell was silently giggling with her. "I feel like she's mocking me! Rrrgh, I will not be mocked!"
"Oh give it a rest already." Blake rolled her eyes as they would see some turrets up ahead and some Repulsion Gel, where Chell had the idea to manipulate the gel onto the turrets, making them bounce around wildly as they would quickly sneak past.
"Weeeeee!"
"Bouncy!"
"OH NO BOTTOMLESS PIT!"
"I think I'm joining you down there!"
"Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him."
"I think all those chambers are destroyed." Samus said.
"It's the thought that counts. Plus, we can rebuild!"
"At this point, I think a cleansing of the planet is more necessary. Put it out of its misery." Blake said and glanced at Rosalina. "Um… sorry."
"No no, you're right." Rosalina said somberly.
"At this point… you might be right. I wonder if we can salvage the core before it's irreparable."
"Yeah, ROB and I looked into that… it's imminent." Adam said.
"I was afraid of that…" GLaDOS mumbled as Rosalina teleported them between rooms as they walked ahead and onto a catwalk, then noticing a conveyor belt. They would hop down on it… where it would activate and lead them to a masher.
"Aha!" Wheatley exclaimed. "Let me just get rid of this catwalk here…" He said as he crushed the catwalk that would have them keep going, while the others safely got off the catwalk. However… Samus would take one look at the conveyor belt, the gears in her head starting to turn. "Now then, if I may speak with you for a moment."
"Oh no, take your time." Samus said, seeming to ignore him as Chell looked at her curiously as the rest of PBRR and Adam would look at her before knowing exactly what she was going to do, even Futaba realized this and got a bit excited.
"I'll be honest: The death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For all of us. I think you'll agree."
"What do you mean "all of us"?" Olivier demanded.
"Well, you're failing to die, you're hard to kill… soooo… it's a failure for you."
"I… that… kinda makes sense? I dunno!" Winry rubbed her head.
"It does! Anyhow, you're getting really close to my lair. …"Lair", heh, weird, isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper lair, if you will."
"Yeah, we get it." Samus said as she hopped on the conveyor belt and started running.
"Ha! You're not gonna make it! That masher'll crush you before you can even blink!" With a smirk, Samus activated the Speed Booster. "Oh what? You activated your thrusters? That can only get you so fa-" Samus stopped running, ducked for a second before Shine Sparking her way toward the wall. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!" He yelled as she slammed into the wall, which in turn, she went through it and destroyed the conveyor belt in the process, making it stop completely.
Holy. Shit. Chell thought.
"What the… I… uh… what… BUT… HOW?!" Wheatley said. "Rrrgh! FINE! May the best man or sphere win!" He said as the screen disappeared shortly after.
"…What just happened?" GLaDOS asked.
"Speed boosting! I totally should've thought of that for one of our tests!" Cave mumbled. "Dammit! That could've been a good one! Add that with the Repulsion Gel and we'd be sitting on a gold mine!"
"I forgot she had that…" Mustang sheepishly admitted as they walked over to Samus.
"You okay back there?" Rosalina asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine! My shoulder took most of the blow. Luckily it's protected." Samus chuckled as they walked off.
"I have… a lot more respect for you. In fact, I feel a bit… terrified. WHY do I feel terrified?" GLaDOS wondered.
"Oh, the stories we can tell you." Adam said with a chuckle, then suddenly as they walked into the chamber, the walls caved in as they saw the empty space around them.
BGM: OMG, What Has He Done? (Portal 2)
"Oh my god… what has he done to this place?" GLaDOS wondered in shock.
"How much time do we have left before the planet blows up?" Winry asked.
"Just enough." Samus responded as Rosalina lifted them up to the Excusion Funnel as she joined them by the side, where they would head off to Wheatley's lair.
"Okay, I know what Chell is probably thinking. I'm not stupid. She doesn't trust me to the point where if we put myself back in the body, I'll probably betray her and everyone else. On any other given day, I would… but this isn't one of those days. Despite me killing everyone after the idiot put me into that machine, they did try to put Cores into my body to try and calm me down, of course, that didn't work. I've heard so many voices that… now that those Cores are out of me, I can hear a different voice. My own voice. Seriously, I think there's something wrong with me!"
"Of course there's something wrong with you. You killed everyone, made my niece mute, you have a thing for neurotoxin AND you turned me into a friggin' Personality Core! …Of course, by that, you saved me but still!"
"I know! But aside from that, we gotta take that little bugger down before he takes us all down with him by blowing this planet up!"
"How are we gonna take him down?" Alphonse asked.
"Simple. Have an intellectual one on one with Rosalina and her vast intellect will fry his circuits." Futaba said.
"That's one possibility." Rosalina chuckled as they went inside, and then saw some corrupted cores lying around.
"Aha! Perfect! Corrupted cores!" GLaDOS exclaimed. "You guys find a way to stun him, ROB, Adam and I will provide the Cores, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer."
"And how will we do that? You're inside ROB's body. Even if you do that, there's a good chance ROB's AI will get in your body." Cave pointed out.
"It's a risk I'm willing to take. We don't have much time!" GLaDOS said as they got up to the lift with the Core Transfer unit.
End BGM
"Put me in there. I got it!" Cave said.
"Boop." ROB said as he moved forward, lowering his arm rotors and plugged himself in.
"ROB… are you sure?" Samus asked with concern.
"Boop boop bop." ROB turned his head. "Boop boop boop!"
Samus nodded. "Just be careful, okay? We'll come get you when this is over."
"Boop." ROB nodded as they went up and then they climbed out while the hatch closed, leaving ROB and GLaDOS behind.
"Well, well, well!" A voice said as they turned to see Wheatley in front of them.
BGM: Bombs For Throwing At You (Portal 2)
Intelligence Sold Separately - Wheatley
"Welcome… TO MY LAIR! Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel, this planet has at least twenty minutes before it all blows up. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you, as I have mentioned earlier."
"Twenty minutes?" Blake raised an eyebrow.
"We can do this in nineteen and thirty seconds." Samus confidently said.
"So let's call that fifteen minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting the fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary. Also! I took the liberty of watching the tapes of Chell killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Multi-part plan is this: One: No portal surfaces. Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately. Three: Bomb proof shields, plus anything you attack me with will just be negated. Leading directly to number four: Bombs. For throwing at you. Number Five: Claws to make you hold still! You know what, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance to turn off the Neurotox-" Samus immediately slid under him and shot him up from underneath with the Plasma Cannon. "AUGH!"
"You talk too much."
"Alright, is that how you want to go? THEN LET'S GO!" Wheatley yelled as he started firing bombs at them where they proceeded to dodge them as Samus rushed ahead toward Wheatley and fired shots at him, where he would block and then had the bomb panels slap her but she swiftly melee countered to stun it as she climbed up and blasted Wheatley with Super Missiles, also adding in some Fire Dust to it. "OW! OOOF! OUCH! YOW! GET OFF!" Wheatley yelled, knocking Samus away.
The bomb panels would then lunge at Armstrong, but he grabbed a hold of them as he pried them apart. "Sis, now!" Armstrong said as Olivier jumped over and skewered him with her rapier as Edward would then slash at him with his arm blade.
"Rrrgh! You're annoying me!" He yelled as he fired bombs again, but they would dodge as Wheatley would take a look at Futaba who had taken cover from a bomb. "Ah, the egghead!" A claw grabbed a hold of her as he brought her close to him. "Ya know, you may look smart, but do you have what it takes to be smart? You may have helped me hack but that doesn't mean anything!"
"Buddy… you have to realize that some people are smarter than you. Rosalina, me…"
"You? Ha! As if you'd-"
"I hacked an entire planet's internet just to see how it ticks! And you know what? It requires a lot more intelligence than what you have in that brain of yours. In fact, I'm smarter than you realize. PERSONA!"
End BGM
BGM: Blooming Villain (Persona 5 Strikers)
"GRAGH!" Wheatley yelped as he was knocked back as Futaba entered her persona and then smirked.
"Try THIS on for size!" Futaba said, quickly typing on the keyboard as she boosted everyone's strength and defense, then she pressed a button as a launcher came out and fired a bomb at the stunned Wheatley.
"ARGH!" He grunted as he was stunned right after.
"Good! Here's the first core!" GLaDOS called out as Rosalina would fly over to snag a hold of it.
"Space! Space… I love space. Space! Space! Wanna go to space! Spaaaace!"
"You love space, don't you? It's pretty cool." Rosalina smiled as she planted the Space Core onto Wheatley's body.
"Warning: Central core corrupt at 50%. Neurotoxin levels dissipating. Fifteen minutes until total planet meltdown."
"Uuuugh…" Wheatley groaned. "Wait, what? What did you just put in me? Is that a core? Don't do that!" He growled as he launched bombs at the group but Alphonse would grab one.
"Mmph! Happy birthday!" He tossed it to Wheatley.
"Whoa!" Wheatley blocked it. "Ha! Missed!" He laughed as a claw was thrown at him. "OOOF!" He grunted as he looked up to see Rosalina telekinetically picked them and threw them at him. "Ack! Hey! Ooof!" Wheatley would block these easily while Blake got into position and fired a Wave Beam from her Gambol Shroud. "AUGH! What the- how did you hit me with that?! I was protected with these wall-like panels!"
"Wave Beam: Also known as "What the fuck is a wall"?" Blake smirked.
"Ooooh, I gotta write that down! …Wait, shoot, I don't have arms. Someone write that down for me!" Cave requested as Pikachu got into position and then Volt Tackled into Wheatley and then Samus fired a portal into the ground and at a higher wall, as Chell would jump down and used her momentum to kick Wheatley in the face.
"YAGH!" Wheatley cried as Samus charged up a beam and then unleashed a Charge Beam onto Wheatley to stun him. "Rrrgh!"
"Hey!" Adam would call out. "Special delivery!"
Winry ran her away over and snagged the next Core. "Well, howdy little lady! I'm an Adventure Sphere, name's Rick. How's about you and I go out some time?"
"You're not my type."
"No? Well, where's your sense of adventure!" He said as he was hooked up onto Wheatley's body.
"Warning: Core corruption at 75 percent. Reactor Explosion Timer destroyed."
"See? We had enough time to-"
"Reactor Explosion Uncertainty Emergency Preemption Protocol initiated. This planet will self destruct in eight minutes."
Samus sweatdropped. "Never mind!"
End BGM
"ENOUGH!" Wheatley yelled. "All of you are beneath me! You are not going to put another core onto my body and that is that! AND ANOTHER THING… uh… wait, hold on, what's that faint sound I'm hearing?"
Chell turned her head, raising an eyebrow to the source of the sound. "Oh good, you hear it too?" Cave said.
"It almost sounds like…" Blake turned to Samus. "Samus."
"On it!" Samus said as they quickly dove for cover.
BGM: Warthog Song (Red vs Blue)
"I mean, it really sounds like-" Wheatley turned to the sound, where he saw a Warthog coming in with Sarge at the wheel, Ghor in the passenger seat and Weiss… was hanging on for dear life at the gunner seat while Rundas was in the air, ice skating near them. "-A VEHICLE?!" Wheatley yelled as the Warthog slammed into him. "OOOOF!" He grunted, which was enough to stun him as the Warthog screeched to a halt.
End BGM
"You, my little friend, just got Sarged!" Sarge said.
"I am never… doing that again…" Weiss groaned.
"Weiss?" Blake asked in surprise. "We were handling ourselves just fine!"
"That's what I was saying but Sarge was wanting to provide backup!"
"You were at the part where he killed you. Rookie mistake!" Sarge said as he started shooting at Wheatley as Ghor and Rundas would do the same, Riza jumping in and shooting at him and Mustang snapped his fingers, which was enough to stun him.
"I'm not just what happened, but here's the last Core!" GLaDOS said as another core was received.
"I got this one." Weiss said as she used the gel that was spilled on the ground as she jumped up from the Repulsion Gel and grabbed the core.
"Fact: This galaxy is vastly expanding. There is no end to it. Fact: Aperture Labs was founded by the Galactic Federation."
"Yeah yeah, tell us something we don't know." Weiss said, Rosalina giving her a boost as she planted it on Wheatley.
"Warning: Core corrupting at 100 percent." A panel rose up, revealing ROB and GLaDOS.
"Uuuugh!" Wheatley groaned.
"Manual Core Replacement required."
"Oooh… I see." Wheatley chuckled.
"Substitute Core. Are you ready to start?"
"Yes, come on!"
"Corrupted Core, are you ready to start?"
"What do you think!"
"Interpreting vague answer as YES."
"No no no no! Didn't pick up on my sarcasm…"
"Stalemate detected. Fire detected in the Stalemate Resolution Annex. Extinguishing." Sprinklers would start shooting down water on everyting, extinguishing the fires around them.
"Ah, that would've been good to know EARLIER." Wheatley grumbled.
"Stalemate Resolution Associate. Please press the Stalemate Resolution button."
Samus turned to Chell. "All yours, girlfriend." She said as Chell nodded as she fired some portals.
"No! Do not press that button, I forbid it!" Wheatley exclaimed before chuckling to himself, and then when Chell hopped down and pressed the button…
BOOM!
"CHELL!" Samus yelled as claws all grabbed a hold of everyone else as Chell was launched back and rolled on the ground before lying on her stomach.
"PART SIX! BOOBY TRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!" Wheatley said proudly, but Chell would slowly get up, glaring at Wheatley with gritted teeth. "What?! Are you still alive?! You are joking! You have got to be kidding me! Well… I'm still in control, everyone's still my hostage AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE!"
The ceiling caved in, as Chell would look up and look at the moon that was orbiting the planet. "You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you! While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price… because we're all going to BLOODY DIE! Yeah, take one look at that moon because it will be the LAST thing you will ever see!"
Chell reached for her Portal Gun and aimed directly at the moon, closing one eye. "Chell…?" Samus wondered before she realized what she was going to do. "CHELL, NO!" She yelled as Chell fire the Portal Gun toward the moon.
BGM: Your Precious Moon (Portal 2) (Start at 1:06)
Ding!
Suddenly, the portal underneath Wheatley opened up, the vaccuum started to suck him up. "WHAT THE?!" Wheatley yelled as he was started to get sucked in. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He yelled as Chell quickly shot her way forward and grabbed a hold of Wheatley, sucking them both on the moon. "Ack! Space!"
Chell would look up and see the planet she was on, and then saw the Observatory a good distance away. "Let go! We're in space!"
"Space…? Space!" The Space Core was sucked out and slammed into Chell and Wheatley, nearly having the former let go. "SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"
"Augh! Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in, I can still fix this!"
"I already fixed it!" A claw appeared from behind the portal and slowly started to move toward them. "And you are NOT coming back."
"Oh no… change of plans! Hold on to me! Tighter!" The claw would slap Wheatley out of Chell's hands, sending him into the dark depths of space. "AAAAH! GRAB ME GRAB ME GRAB ME GRAB MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
End BGM
At the same time, Samus had grabbed Chell with her Grapple Beam as Rosalina would hold Samus in place as she would pull her in while Weiss would close the portal with her ice, Chell falling on Samus, the latter falling on her butt as she dismissed her suit. "It's okay, I got ya… I wasn't going to lose you again." Samus said softly as Chell moved her head out of Samus's breasts before hugging her tightly, with the latter hugging her back.
"Mmm… mmph!" GLaDOS got herself back onto her body. "Testing, testing, one two three. Perfect! ROB, we are back online!"
"Boop boop!" ROB said cheerfully as the two women got up.
"Now then, let me just turn the self detonation o-"
"Warning: Core is irreparably damaged. This planet will self-destruct in 6 minutes."
"…Oh."
Suddenly, an explosion happened that caused the place to start imploding from the inside. "That little idiot…" GLaDOS mumbled as a ring portal opened up as they would see Hoopa peeking in with Luigi.
"Come on, this way!" Luigi said.
"Hurry!" Hoopa exclaimed.
"I got GLaDOS!" Palutena said, wrapping a heavenly light on her as she was taken away, as one by one, they started to leave as Samus would start to leave but then turned her head to see Chell trapped underneath some debris that had fell on top of her.
"Chell!" Samus went over and pushed the debris off of her and then helped her up, but as they turned around, massive debris fell on the ring portal and destroyed it.
Oh no… Chell thought.
Samus turned to the Warthog that was still sitting there. "Plan B. Come on!" She said as the two hopped in, Samus taking hold of the wheel and Chell in the passenger.
"You know, alternatively, I could just warp you guys back." Palutena said.
"And not escape in epic fashion? No way, we're doing this my way." Samus smirked. "Hang on to something, Chell… it's about to get bumpy!"
BGM: Warthog Run (Halo 3)
With starting the ignition, the Warthog roared to life as Samus backed up before punching the accelerator as the Warthog drove off toward the wall that had crumbled in front of them, giving them clear passage to drive though. Fires had surrounded them as Samus kept driving, then she made a hard left and drifted before driving off as an explosion happened behind them as the facility was crumbling behind them.
Samus would immediately drive off some stairs and landed on the four wheels as tubes were exposed out of the crumbling walls, spitting out Turrets, defective turrets and cubes all around, some of them littering the ground but Samus would push through and run them off as she drove off a ramp and into the abyss, but an Excursion Funnel would catch them as the lair behind them exploded and started to tip over, crashing into the ground and making larger explosions.
"This feels like we're in an action movie where all the budget went to explosions… normally when I'm escaping, there's usually not this much explosive action!" She said as Chell looked at her weird. "What?"
The Excursion Funnel deactivated and sent them down into the abyss, but they would land on some platforms as the Warthog bounced but Samus was able to keep them on all four wheels as they kept going, where they would see some Propulsion Gel on the ground as it made the Warthog speed up the moment they drove over it as it launched off a platform as they barely reached an upper floor, the back wheels almost not making it on the ground.
Samus then floored it as she made a hard right as the platforms behind them started to fall into the abyss, with more turrets shooting out of some tubes as Samus ran them over. "Excuse me, coming through!" Samus said as she drove over a ramp and over a pit, an explosion happening underneath them as they landed perfectly.
Chell would immediately see something up ahead, quickly getting her Portal Gun at the ready and leaning out, firing portals as a cube launched out. "What the…?" Samus wondered as Chell grabbed it as the cube had hearts painted on it. "Why did you grab a cube for a souvenir?" She asked as Chell placed it on her lap with a smile. "…Ooookay, suit yourself."
Debris fell on the ground in front of them, blocking their way forward as Samus made a hard right while drifting and took off with a small tower falling behind them and exploding. "Geez, is everything highly explosive in this planet?" Samus wondered. "I mean, I get it, the planet is exploding but come on!"
She would then drive off another ramp toward the platform, but the platform in front of them would disintegrate and had them free fall on a different platform. However, said platform had Repulsion Gel splattered on it as the Warthog bounced up and landed on the platform effortly. Both women both breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, here's hoping we never do that again." Chell agreed with her as the Warthog drove off.
In front of them they would see a catwalk up ahead. "Oh sure…" Samus rolled her eyes. "Chell, take the wheel, I'm gonna try something!" She said as she climbed out and hopped over to the gunner side as Chell slid over, putting the Companion Cube on the passenger seat and continued driving, though Chell wondered why six pedals were necessary. Samus attached her Arm Cannon to the turret and sprayed the railings with the Plasma Beam and Fire Dust to melt the railings as Chell would drive through it and then drove off, where a light bridge was waiting for them as explosions happened behind them, the heat was enough to singe a few hairs off of Samus's ponytail.
The light bridge deactivated as they drove on it where they would start to fall into a moat, but an Aerial Faith Plate was lying in wait as it propelled them into the air and launched them outside. Chell would let out a gasp the moment the tires touched the ground. "You haven't been outside in a while, haven't you?" Samus asked once she climbed back in, pushing the Companion Cube to the side. Chell would nod. "Yeah, nothing but science going too far, but come on, we're at the final stretch… we just gotta-"
Samus's eyes widened, noticing her ship and the Strike Team's ship were gone. "What?! Where'd they go?!"
"Sorry, I extracted them right as you were all about to leave. My bad!" Palutena said.
"Well, shit, how are we gonna get out of here now?" Samus asked.
Allow me! Rosalina telekinetically said as a Launch Star appeared in front of them while the ground behind them started to disintegrate. Chell looked at the Launch Star with a tilt of the head. Samus put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Drive into that. We'll be fine." Samus said as Chell nodded and gave it all she could. …However, a tower nearby started to crumble and then collapsed right on top of the Launch Star and shattered it upon impact. "Crap!" She exclaimed as Chell would see that it made a makeshift ramp, which gave her the idea to launch over it with an explosion happening behind them… and then another Launch Star appeared in front while they were still airborne, the Launch Star activating and launching the Warthog toward the Observatory.
"Here they come!" Blake called out.
"Oh, but they're a little off balance! They're gonna land on the roof!" Sarge said.
"They'll make it!" Futaba said as the Warthog landed on the Observatory, but had flipped and landed on its roof, sliding toward the core of the Observatory but Rosalina telekinetically stopped them as Chell and Rosalina climbed out as they would stare at the planet in the distance.
"There it goes." Samus said.
"Oh, it's not so bad." Caboose said as he walked up. "The planet is still looking good. It still has a foundation, so I'm pretty sure you can rebuild and-" The planet lit up and exploded in a fiery explosion, sending cosmic energy toward them but Rosalina conjured up a force field to protect everyone. Once the fireball dissipated, all that was left was space dust.
End BGM
"Ah… nope, the foundations are all gone. So sorry about that. ...Tucker did it."
"HOW?!" Tucker yelled. "I was right here the whole time!"
"There you have it…" GLaDOS said as her body was hooked up on the Observatory. "Aperture Science is no more."
"It's… probably for the best." Cave said and then looked at everyone. "Well, howdy y'all! Cave Johnson, nice to meet ya!"
"…I'll be damned." Dante said. "He sounds just like the guy who wants to publically frame Spider-Man."
"And he sounds like the guy I've met in Oregon. Helped him take care of this one eyed triangle guy… forgot his name though." Sora shrugged.
Chell would look off at the cosmic space dust that was once her prison, but also her home. A tear ran down her cheek as Samus put her hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's going to be okay." She said as she and Chell hugged one another while Ruby dug out the Companion Cube.
"What even is this…?" Ruby wondered.
"That… is a Companion Cube." GLaDOS said as Adam would scan it.
"…Why is there a dead body in here?"
"An unfortunate accident."
"The body's charred too!"
"Again, an unfortunate accident. Would you like to be in an unfortunate accident too?"
"Uh… no."
"Good." GLaDOS would turn her body and see a completely enamored Penny and SAPR. "…Can I help you?"
"Hey guys?" Hilda spoke up and caught their attention. "Something happened to Apollo!"
"What?" Yang walked over. "What do you mean something happened to him?"
"Well… he was in my arms and we were watching that planet blow up, and, well, he might have absorbed some of that cosmic radiation, because…" Hilda showed off Apollo, who had evolved into a Cosmoem. "I think he just evolved."
"Mmm… what's with all this racket?" A voice said as Umber woke up from his nap, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and letting out a yawn.
"Morning, sleepy head!" Xena greeted with a giggle.
Meanwhile, with Dark Samus…
"This is all too easy…" Dark Samus chuckled.
"Metroid Prime! Come in, Metroid Prime!"
"I read you loud and clear."
"We just put in the Phazon Bombs for all the other worlds. Mobius, Hyrule, all the regions in the Pokemon World, Onett, Midgar, Popstar, Gensokyo, Spiral Mountain, Fodland, Nohr, Hoshido, Altea, Skyworld…. Every single world is ready to be corrupted. We're waiting for your order."
"At long last, my vision will soon be realized." Dark Samus said with a dark chuckle. "On my command!" She said, raising her arm up and then swung her arm down. "…Execute."
I don't think I've ever done a Warthog Run before... think I did pretty well.
Ibuki: On the one hand, we have more friends... on the other hand, there goes all the worlds. Ugh... we're gonna take 'em down.
Yup. Oh! That reminds me, speaking of which, FireFlamer came up with a great question in the last Gaiden regarding fanart with the OCs. Honestly? I'd love to see fanart of them. I've got a Deviantart (Kingdomheartsfan341), so i'd love to see people's different takes on the characters. But why stop at the OCs? I'd love to see the different scenarios played out throughout the series as fan art, and even forms like Fierce Deity Weiss, Shin Yang, Phazon/Zinogre Ruby, the cybernetics on Marnie, the many Pokemon forms that Gloria goes into... i'm all for it!
I'd do this myself but i'm not very patient when it comes to drawing stuff (Nor do I have a steady hand, admittedly...), so hey, feel free to tag me on Deviantart. I'd love to see what y'all made.