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A Horse Report And A Police Race
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Homer is sitting on the couch in front of the TV, a racing ticket grasped in his hand. He is avidly watching for his horse, 'Marriage Made In Heaven', on the course. Marge enters the room.
Marge (tiredly): "Homer?"
Homer (his attention focussed on the TV): "Bah"
Marge: "I'm very upset"
Homer: "Ug"
Marge (dejectedly): "Homer, I think our marriage is failing - "
Homer (turning towards Marge, obviously distraught): "WHAT?"
Marge: "It's true, there's just - "
Homer (scrutinising his ticket): "Wait – did you say marriage or 'Marriage Made In Heaven'?"
Marge (angrily): "Marriage!"
Homer (in relief): "Phew!"
He turns his attention back to the TV.
Suddenly, after a brief static-filled pause, an urgent police report is announced.
oooooooooo
Chief Wiggum (seriously): "I'm afraid there's been a jewellery theft in the area. A fifth-floor window was broken into, and several valuable watches stolen. So we ask you all to be on the look-out for a twenty-five foot tall man, who may or may not be - "
A twenty-five foot tall man suddenly walks past, his arms adorned with six Rolex watches.
Chief Wiggum (eyes widening): "Well I'll be damned!"
Lou and Eddie (looking up from their notebooks): "Chief?"
Chief Wiggum (pointing to the billboard that the tall man is walking past): "Would you look at that - Tom Jones will be playing at Moe's tomorrow night! What are the chances of that!"
Lou (shrugging): "It's not unusual."
ooooooooooo
The channel switches back to the horse race, which has just finished.
Commentator: "And Marriage Made In Heaven is the winner…."
Homer: "Woohoo!"
Commentator: "….is what I'd be saying if all eight other horses didn't finish ahead of him. But they did."
The camera pans to the figure of a disinterested-looking horse lazily strolling towards the finish line.
Homer: "D'oh!"
Commentator: "And this is the last race of the season, so no more bets can be placed until next year…."
Marge (approvingly): "Thank goodness!"
Commentator: "….is what I'd be saying if this were the end of the season. But it isn't."
Homer: "Woohoo!"
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