Lily (+ essentially James although, as we find out, their conversation is interrupted by some rather hungry Marauders)

'James, you're late again.'

'Well only that Scrimgeour is preventing me from spending as much time with my new husband as possible!'

'I know it's important, but honestly James the man hardly granted you a honeymoon, and now he's working you twelve hours a day. You look dead on your feet.'

'Can't you be more than fine some day?'

'Ooh, not much really. I finished my article on the candidates running for the Minister this year.'

'Oh yes, just thrilling!'

'Mmm, I love you too…'

'You look exhausted, did you miss lunch again today?'

'Then let me fix something up… I've got treacle tart for pudding.'

'Mmm, I love you too…'

'James I actually needed to tell you something.'

'Well I- Oh for the love of… Sirius, do you have a radar for cookery smells?'

'Hmm… I surmised as much.'

'Chicken pie. And no, it's not for you.'

'No, not even a doggy-bag, horrendous though that pun is, and overused too.'

'Sirius, may I ask what warranted your apparating straight into my living room uninvited?'

'Funnily enough, I find that extraordinarily difficult to believe.'

'Sirius, did you actually have a purpose? Because I'd actually like to spend some time with my husband.'

'James. My husband. The man standing in the doorway laughing at you. Sirius I know we've only been married two months, but even you must remember who he is.'

'Temporary amnesia? From wha- Oh Remus! How lovely to see you!'

'Oh so you're the culprit! Honestly, I don't know what to do with you boys sometimes…'

'I'm really well thank you Re. You look much better from last week.'

'Yes Sirius, he gets a hug because he asked me how I was. And didn't apparate straight onto my sofa.'

'No you cannot redeem yourself.'

'Ew! Change back immediately! I will not have dog drool all over my carpet!'

'Maybe I am houseproud… that's nothing to be ashamed of.'

'Sirius, do not push your luck. I am this close to hexing your mouth shut.'

'No, don't worry James. In fact why don't you all sit down and I'll get you a drink.'

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'Here you go…'

'You're more than welcome Re darling.'

'Yes Sirius, you just get water. Why? Is it not wet enough for you?'

'Well I don't have any firewhiskey. You'll have to raid James' not-so-secret stash in the bathroom.'

'Don't worry darling, I don't mind.'

'Mmm, I love you too…'

'LOOK Sirius! I don't mind you coming and slobbering all over my furniture and begging a meal once in a while, but pleeeeease get over the fact that we are married and legally entitled to kiss one another in public!'

'It is not gross! I- Oh Peter! My what a gathering… How are you?'

'Ooh, just about to burst a blood vessel but otherwise well thanks. Can I get you a drink?'

'Drink, Peter. I'm not feeding you all again tonight.'

'Because I fed Sirius yesterday and the day before and, ooh the day before that. Then you had supper and lunch the day before that and Remus was here for the preceeding three days because of his transformation.'

'No I don't mind in slightest Re, don't worry yourself. At least you eat human-sized portions…'

'Sirius, the amount of food you shovel at one meal could feed the entire population of a small country for a month.'

'Look, I just don't have the money, the time or the patience to have you all here all the time. Much as I love you all, I have to admit I love James more and would like just a little bit of time with him.'

'Thank you Remus.'

'Sirius, what problem? There are four perfectly good pubs less than a mile from here, not to mention the restaurants and bars. I'm quite sure you could find somewhere able to serve you a meal or six.'

'Well I thank you for the compliment, but my cooking is neither superior nor quick… Oh my god the treacle!'

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'You see?'

'Well judging by the large amount of smoke now issuing from the kitchen, I wouldn't say I really managed to save it.'

'Okay, this is going to take me a while to redo, so maybe you three had better run along.'

'No, Sirius you may not stay the night.'

'Because you have a perfectly good house of your own to live in.'

'Remus would you please escort him back to his house in order to refresh his memory as to where it is?'

'Okay, well bye then.'

'Why would you think that?'

'Well I'm not trying to get rid of you, I'd just like a little space and time with James.'

'Oh he just knows when to keep his nose out of situations I'm in control of.'

'Yes Peter, I am in control of it!'

'Please boys, would you please just go? Pretty please?'

'James, don't you dare think about trying to talk about work with them now.'

'No, not the weather either.'

'Definitely not Quidditch.'

Would you please just ask them to go?'

'So you sounds as if you mean it…'

'I am not sodding hormonal Sirius!'

'Peter, I do believe you are learning bad habits from this lot, and I think you ought to know that I don't approve in the slightest. And yes, I am still in control of this situation.'

'Sirius, if the words 'Can I stay for dinner' come out of your mouth one more time, I can guarantee the next ones will be 'Ow my crotch'.'

'No please don't sit on the sofa!'

'Because that makes it seem like you're staying.'

'No. You're not.'

'Peter it's not funny.'

'No, it's not! Please Peter I- okay, I draw the line at rats. Don't make me get the poison out!'

'No Sirius, don't do that! Oh please change back!'

'James this is not funny.'

'Not the carpet!'

'Oh Re, it looks futile…'

'All I want is some time with my husband- is that so much to ask!'

'Thank you Sirius. But I'm warning you, if I find so much as a single flea…'

'Peter. Don't do that again, besides our next door neighbours have a very unfriendly cat…'

'No Sirius you would not.'

'Look I'm not having another animagi discussion with you all!'

'Because I want a nice, quiet, peaceful, calm evening with James!'

'Why tonight! I'll tell you why tonight.'

'James. I'm pregnant.'

'…'

'Aaah… peace at last.'

'Mmm, I love you too…'

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Hey all, sorry this has taken a while to come up… Am currently trying to think of light fluffy ones rather than my usual angsty themed fics! I am, admittedly, finding it a lot more difficult than I anticipated, but I think listening to happy songs definitely helps!

Hopefully I should get a new one up within the week. Any thoughts on this one warmly appreciated :)

-flo xx