Hey guys. Here is the next chapter.
Liv glanced over once again to check on Amanda.
She was wrapped up in the blanket sleeping peacefully, and Liv sighed gratefully. After the events from earlier she new she needed the rest. She loved Amanda very much, but with her only depending on Liv this left the older woman exhausted.
She had taken off a month to stay with her but had to return to work. not being able to leave Amanda alone because of never knowing when she would regress had made that task a bit more difficult than she had anticipated. Her squad needed her, but so did Amanda.
the case was like any other. A rapist terrorizing New York City, but this time he had a type, blonde haired, blue eyed women.
She had attempted to put Amanda on desk duty to protect her, but the blonde refused saying that she was just as capable as anyone to work this case. Now looking at her detective turned terrified victim, she was wishing she'd pushed harder and demanded that she be on desk duty until he was caught. The only thing she could do now was be there for Amanda and help her heal, which is exactly what she intended to do. She looked up from her last bit of paperwork when she heard movement coming from the sofa.
Amanda was waking up, and when she saw Olivia she smiled and relaxed back into the couch.
"Hey, love," she said softly. "Did you have a good nap?" Liv asked and the blonde nodded but otherwise didn't speak. This was another common occurrence. After a nightmare or flashback, Amanda would regress and sometimes not speak for days.
Liv never minded though. Amanda would sign or point to what she wanted, but she missed her detective/little girls voice and hated she became so scared that she was unable to speak. "That's good baby, I'm glad." she said, speaking softly as to not scare her.
"I'm almost done here, and then we can go home," she said and Amanda smiled. She loved getting to live with Olivia. She knew the older woman would never hurt her. There was no place she felt safer than with Olivia. "Cuddle?" Amanda signed and the older detective smiled. "Of course, baby," she said. "Come sit with me while I finish this last report."
Once she was sitting in Olivia's lap she looked up at her. "fin," the blonde signed and Liv looked back at her. "What about Fin, honey," she asked.
"See Fin," the blonde signed and Olivia knew by the way she was signing to her that mentally she was about 4 right now. She stared at her in shock. Amanda never wanted to leave her side, so the fact she was wanting to see fin was a big step for her.
"Sure sweetie, we can see Fin," she said and Amanda smiled, rocking back and forth slightly. "Do you want me to call him in here?" she asked. "yeah," Amanda signed and Liv just nodded. she knew this would mean a lot to him. He had wanted to reconnect with her after she was found, but with her fear of being separated from Olivia, coupled with her extreme fear of men, that had just not been possible yet. She pulled out her phone and sent him a message asking hm to come to her office.
He appeared a short time later in the doorway and glanced at them with a strange look. Seeing his partner in their boss's lap was surprising to him but he didn't say anything. She was calm and that was what mattered.
"What's up," he asked and Liv just smiled. "Someone wants to see you," she said pointing at Amanda and Fin just stared. "Is she... Is she sure?" He asked. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her any more than she already was. "Baby, do you want Fin to sit with you over on the sofa?" she asked. She had to be sure before giving him permission. Amanda needed the freedom to make her own choices, something that she had not been given in the year she was missing. She looked between the two of them, thinking about Olivia's words before nodding and going to sit on the end of the couch.
He carefully approached her and knelt down to her level.
"Hey, baby girl," he said with a smile and the blonde smiled back. "I've missed you," he said and Amanda nodded. "Me too," she signed. "Scared," she signed and he nodded sadly, glancing over at Liv who just looked back at him. "Hug?" Amanda said and both Fin and Liv exchanged looks of surprise. "are you sure?" Liv asked and Amanda nodded. "He not hurt me," she said pointing to Fin and the older woman shook her head as Fin gave her a strange look. Olivia knew what he was asking , but she wasn't going to tell him until Amanda - was ready. "No, sweetheart," she whispered softly. "Fin will never hurt you." "I'm gonna sit with you now," he said and he slowly stood up from the floor, making sure she could see he wasn't a threat before carefully sitting next to her.
Then she did something that surprised them both. She slowly moved closer to Fin before hesitantly lying her head on his sholder, and he carefully wrapped one arm around her letting her cuddle into his side. Olivia looked at them with a smile before speaking in a low voice so Amanda wouldn't here, "how's the case coming?" Fin sighed as he looked at her. "Its coming," he said. "We ran the DNa from Amanda's rape kit but so far no hits have surfaced.
Olivia frowned. They needed a break.
AMANDA was terrified he would come back for her, and she'd never see Olivia again. The older woman did her best to reassure her, but she knew the blonde wouldn't truely start to heal until the monster was caught.
"Did anything show up on the camera's from when she was taken?" "No," Fin said.
"He did a hell of a job avoiding the camera's."
"Well," Liv said. "We may just have to wait for him to strike again," and Fin nodded. They just didn't have any leads. All they could do was wait.
A little while later, after Fin had sat on the floor and built blocks with Amanda Liv had finally completed her reports.
"We go home now?" Amanda signed and Olivia looked at her. "Sure sweetheart," she said, walking over to them and Amanda moved from Fin's side into her arms and liv kissed her head softly before smiling at him, silently thanking him for being patient with the woman in her arms. He walked over and took Amanda's small hand in his, smiling at the two. "I'm so glad you let me see you, Amanda," he said. "Me too," she smiled. "Me miss you," she signed and Fin glanced at Olivia over Amanda's head. Olivia just shook her head. "Not now," she mouthed and he nodded.
"I see you soon?" Amanda asked as she made eye contact with her friend and Fin nodded. "Sure, baby girl." he responded.
Amanda beamed before quickly hugging him and returning to Liv's side.
"See you tomorrow, Fin," Liv said with a smile. "Bye you two," he responded as he watchg them walk to the elavator.
A little while after returning home Amanda had returned to her adult self, but still wasn't speaking. Liv knew they needed to discuss what the blonde had gone through though. She let out a tired sigh. She didn't want to do this, but she had no choice.
"Hey sweetheart," she said, coming into the living room where Amanda was sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the couch. "We need to talk." "About what?" Amanda signed, looking terrified and the older woman did her best to calm her. "Its ok, baby," she whispered. "I know you don't want to, but we need to talk about what happened while you were with the bad man."
Amanda pulled her knees to her chest before rapidly shaking her head and signing no over and over. "I know you don't want to, baby," Liv said but it will help us catch him.
She moved closer and took one of her shaking hands in her own. "Just remember I'm not leaving you, I'm right here," she said, and Amanda just nodded before beginning to sign.
"He hurt me," she said and Liv squeezed her hand for support.
"How, sweetie," she asked, realizing she didn't really want to know but needing to at the same time.
"I had to be a good girl, and If i wasn't he would punish me," she signed as she began to cry.
"Oh honey," Olivia cooed. "You are a good girl, you're such a good girl," she said, and Amanda resisted the urge she had to throw herself into Olivia's arms. She knew she had to tell this though.
"He made me call him master, and If I didn't do exactly what he said he would whip me," she said as she shakily lifted her shirt and Liv gasped as she saw her young detective's back. She could see where he had whipped her with a belt repeatedly, and the thought and sight of that almost made her sick even though she saw it every time she helped Amanda change.
"What else, baby," she whispered.
"He did what daddy would do to me when i was little," she signed and Liv new that by the time this conversation was over that the blonde would either be back to a toddler or a baby.
"What did they do," she asked, having an idea but wanting Amanda to tell her.
"They raped me, Livy, over and over," she signed and began crying harder. "I tried, I really did," she said, moving closer to the only person she trusted in that moment.
"Tried what, baby," Olivia asked as she lifted Amanda into her arms. "To be a good girl," she signed and Liv just held her. "Oh, baby, you are, you are," she said, kissing her head softly.
"I not aloud to wear clothes, he said I his property," she signed and Liv knew she was once again regressing.
"He put me in the closet like mommy and daddy did." "Me no like the dark," she said with a shiver and the older detective wanted to stop this but she needed a bit more information first.
"Baby," she said, "Did you ever try to escape?" she asked and the blonde began whimpering and moving closer to her as a memory hit her full force.
Flashback
Amanda was chained to the wall as tears ran down her face. She had been a very bad girl, and knew she was going to be punished. It had already been 3 days since she'd eaten last, and she knew it would be longer now. She had tried to escape, and her master was furious. With her lack of nutrients she hadn't gotten very far, and he had easily caught up to her before raping her and returning her to the basement. She screamed as the door opened. "Shut up," he yelled, slapping her across the face. "I told you what would happen if you tried to escape, and she began violently trying to get out of her Chains.
He just smerked and walked towards her. He was going to teach her to behave.
He removed his belt and she began to tremble, knowing what was coming next.
"Please, I be good," she sobbed and he just grinned sadistically. "Oh, I know you will," he said. "I'll make sure of that," he said as he brought the belt down on her back, and she let out a scream.
"Liv,"she shrieked, and he slapped her once again. "I told you to shut up," he growled. "Liv isn't coming for you," he said and she cried louder, desperately trying to break free. She just wanted this to be over and for Olivia to hold her.
As the memory of him beating her continued to play out in her mind, all she could do was scream. "No, no, please," she pleated. "I be good, daddy please no closet," she continued pleating and he just once again grinned. Olivia knew the blonde was having memories of her father's abuse as well as memories from her time with the man that had taken her over a year ago. She needed to bring Amanda back to her before she became so scared that she couldn't touch her. If the blonde was caught in a flashback for too long, the result was her becoming catatonic and Olivia would just have to leave her to come out of it on her own. She swallowed the tears that threatened to fall and slowly approached the scared young woman. "This is what happens when you try to escape," her master said as he slammed the door, and she just continued to cry, memories of master's, mommy's and daddy's abuse all running together in her mind.
"Hey, baby," Liv said as she crouched down in front of Amanda who had curled herself into a ball in the corner of the room.
"We don't have to talk about it anymore," she whispered. "You're safe, I promise."
"Just open your eyes, sweetheart," she said softly. She knew with the constant screaming that Amanda had fully regressed to a baby. Luckily she was prepared and had bought some items at the store just for this.
Finally after a few minutes Amanda opened her eyes. She looked around the room frantically before her gaze landed on Olivia and she began to calm immediately.
"Hey there, baby, are you backwith me?" she asked and the blonde just blinked up at her with an adoring exspression. Liv slid closer before lifting her into her arms, and she sighed contentedly as she sucked on a pacifier. Liv carried her to the bedroom to get her changed. This was baby Amanda and Liv knew exactly what to do. She had learned that Amanda's biological mom was just as abusive as her father, so when she would speak to them she would usually regress, and This was the result. Once in the room she changed her into a diaper and pajamas before returning to the living room and sitting down in the rocking chair with her in her arms.
"I love you, baby," she cooed softly, and Amanda just looked at her. "Ma," she said before laying her head on Olivia's chest and the detective just held her, knowing what Amanda needed. She had more questions for her, but for now little Amanda needed her mama.
So I covered a lot in this chapter and I will continue to do so in future chapters. We see a little bit of what Amanda went through when she tried to escape and I will go into that more in depth in the next few chapters. We also see her slowly bonding with Finn, which I will also continue to build on. He will find out about her regression very soon. Thanks for reading.