Horatio's Point of View

I'm not sure how all of this got started. It all seemed to go by so fast. I got the job at the crime lab, Speed had actually became my first friend. He was a little hesitant at first seeing as he was taught everything he knows by Megan Donner. I glance around the small funeral home and I see her walk in. She makes a quick apperance, giving Calleigh a hug and a quick nod to Eric and then leaving. I sigh and look at the ground. My best friend was just killed. For real this time. And the grief I am showing isn't fake this time, its real. And i'm not sure how to handle it.

I see the preacher walk in and he gives Calleigh's hand a quick squeeze before making his way to his usual spot to give his speech. I quickly take a seat next to Eric and Maxine and I can't help but feel alone. I know its wrong of me. To feel alone at a friends funeral but I do. I never had luck in the love department. I clear my throat a little and let the events of a couple days ago drift back into my head.

I watch from the love seat as Calleigh and Olivia sleep on the couch. I honestly don't know what Speed did to deserve such a special woman. Calleigh was and will always be a dedicated, sounthern, gun loving person. But if there's one thing Calleigh is better at then knowing the difference between a .22 and .45 is how to be a mother. Calleigh would risk her life for her children. Sacrifice anything and everything she could to protect them. And I know apart of her blames herself for what happend to Sandra and Tim. But I can't help but feel responsible for it all. There my CSI's I'm supposed to protect them. Keep them safe. Its like their my children and I have to do anything and everything to protect them. Go above and beyond duty to keep them safe. And I failed. I failed the moment Sandra got kidnapped. By rights it was before that. But I guess I can't blame myself for what happend to Tim before I knew the guy. But I still do.

I drove as fast as I could to get to that wharehouse. Like Speed did I myself would get these gut feelings. And my gut feeling that something bad was going to happen only magnified when Calleigh had broken the painful silence in the hummer when she had said "Somethings wrong". I always thought Speed and Calleigh had this sort of ESP thing going on. When they had first started dating they always finished each others sentences, Delko had made fun of them but I just thought it was cute.

I let Calleigh run into the wharehouse, she needed to handle this one. I walked over to Tim's hummer and I opened the drivers side door to see Sandra. I tilt my head a little and smile. I know choosing favorites is wrong but with Sandra I see so much potiental. She was a lot more like her father. Olivia was always more like Calleigh. Sandra smiles back at me as I look down at her, "Did I do ok?" she asks.

I smile and nod, "You did great." I say simply.

"Can I come out of the hummer now. I want to see my daddy and mommy." she said simply. I look at her with her big brown eyes and I can't help but smile more.

I hear some noise come from up ahead. I see Eric run into the wharehouse along with a few patrol officers and I open my mouth, "You know what." I say softly. "Why don't we...why don't we hang out here for a little bit." Sandra gives me one of those famous Speedle expressions. "Ok?" She sighed heavily but nods none the less. She scoots over into the passanger seat and then kindly tells me to get in the drivers seat. And I was more then happy to ablige.

I sat with Sandra for a few minutes before the activity going on around me caught my attention. Off in the distance I could Eric yelling, "Miami Dade PD put your hands behind your head." I look over at Sandra who is staring intently at the glove compartment. "You know what sweetie. I...I will be right back ok?" Sandra nods a little, not taking her eyes from that spot. I give her a small smile and I walk into the wharehouse. I see Calleigh crouched down by Tim. I peer over her shoulder and I see that he has a knife in his stomach. I sigh to myself and look down at the ground. Before shifting my weight uncomfortably and looked back over at them. "I love you." I hear Tim say. His voice sounds so weak...so helpless. And I know what's coming next. As I turn to leave the wharehouse I hear a simple, "Can I close my eyes now?" I close my eyes tightly and make my way back to the hummer. I know Calleigh will want to tell Sandra herself. But something by the look in Sandra's eyes as I walk towards her she already knows.

The next couple of days where tough on us all. Especially for Calleigh and the girls. Sandra hasn't stopped crying. The poor thing blames herself. And Calleigh is trying to stay so strong for all of them. This time is different then before though. This time Tim is really gone. And both of the girls are older and can take care of themselves. Calleigh nor I have slept much at all and I'm not sure how to help her. I'm Lt. Horatio Caine and for once in my life I'm not sure how to help someone.

I take my seat next to Eric. I see he's trying so hard not to lose it. But I know he will. Sometime today. Whether its here or at home he'll lose it. Just like I will. Tim was a big part of our lives. And its such a tragedy to see him be taken out by his teenaged demons. The preacher begins his speech. He talked about Tim's life, his job at the crime lab and how he left behind 2 girls and a wife. Tim's mother got up and made a speech about her 'baby' I believe she called him. I smile a little to myself as she told a story about Tim when he was a toddler and ran outside in nothing but his diaper. As I tilt my head up I realize that I'm not the only one laughing. As the preacher asks for a moment of silence I bow my head and honor not only my collegue, not only my best friend, but my son.

TBC...Eric's epilogue will be next...ugh now i have to go to the doctor...andi hate the doctor!