"What did they say?" Olivia asked and Alex sighed. "She has to testify," she said and Amanda lost it.
"No, no, no," she screamed as she threw herself at Olivia sobbing and shrieking hysterically.
Olivia swallowed the tears threatening to fall before attempting to calm her.
"Hey sweetie, I need you to calm down," she started.
"I need you," the younger detective wailed, wrapping her arms and legs around her boss's waste, trying to get as close as possible.
"Baby I'm here, I've got you," she whispered rocking her gently as her friend continued to sob and scream for her.
Suddenly Amanda jerked herself out of Olivia's grasp and the brunette immediately went on alert. She knew the blonde was about to have a meltdown but wasn't quick enough to stop it as her detective began hitting her head repeatedly against the wall on the far side of the room.
Olivia crossed the room quicker than Alex had ever seen and began attempting to calm Amanda down and keep her from hurting herself any further as she was now rocking back and forth while her fist came up to hit the side of her head.
"Hey, sweetie," Liv said without touching her. "Let's just relax." "I'm here," she whispered.
"Here, sweetheart, have this," she said holding out one of Amanda's stim toys and the blonde stopped hitting herself before excepting the toy but her rocking didn't slow.
"You have to testify," the blonde began repeating and Alex gave her a look.
"I know, baby," the brunette said. "It's going to be ok though," she continued and finally Amanda looked at her.
"Do you need some deep pressure?" She asked and Amanda nodded as she continued to cry.
Finally the crying stopped, and the detective looked down to see that Amanda had cried herself to sleep, still clinging tightly to her.
"They... they... they can't do this," she said, looking at Alex in disbelief.
"Liv, I hate to tell you but they can," the attorney responded.
"How are we even going to prepare her?" She asked and Alex just sighed.
"I don't know, Liv," she said.
"I'll make them understand though, I swear," she continued.
"She's autistic?" Alex asked after a few minutes and Olivia nodded.
"That was some meltdown," the attorney said and Liv shrugged in response.
"They've gotten worse than that." "Sometimes they are so bad after a particular case that she goes nonverbal," the brunette said and the ADA just looked at the two with a thoughtful expression.
"I'm going to go, but I'll check on you guys tomorrow," she said.
"Ok," Liv whispered as Alex quietly let herself out.
She looked down at her friend, wondering what to do next.
A little while later Amanda's eyes fluttered open and she shifted in Olivia's arms.
"Hey, sweetheart," the brunette said quietly but Amanda just looked at her as a lone tear ran down her face.
"Oh, baby," she cooed. "You're ok, I'm here," she continued.
"Don't make me see him," she cried beginning to chew on her fingers and the brunette sighed.
"Here, baby," she said handing the blonde a chewy that she sometimes used and the blonde replaced her fingers with the toy.
"Better now?" The brunette asked after a bit and Amanda nodded, completely calm once again.
2 Days later
It was the morning of the trial and the brunette was exhausted.
Amanda's nightmares had gotten more horrific and she would only sleep if Olivia was holding her.
Alex had prepared her the best she could, but she didn't know if it was enough.
She just hoped if something did happen the judge would be understanding.
The attorney let herself in with the key the brunette had provided her and went in search of the two women.
She stopped at the bedroom door, where she could here crying along with Olivia's soothing responses.
She knocked quietly on the door. "Liv?" She asked. "It's Alex, can I come in?"
"Yes," Olivia answered and Alex carefully opened the door. What she saw broke her heart.
Olivia was sitting on the bed with Amanda cuddled into her chest as tears flowed freely downher face as she asked repeatedly why she had to see the bad man.
"Would you like me to try?" The attorney mouthed and the brunette sighed before nodding.
"Hey, sweetie," Alex said kneeling down in front of them. "can you look at me?" She asked kindly and surprisingly the blonde complied. "You have to testify," she explained gently.
"I know you don't want to, and believe me, neither do we but you don't have a choice," she continued. "I'll be right there with you though, I promise," she said and Amanda looked at her. "Liv too?" She signed and the attorney took a deep breath before responding.
"No, baby," she said quietly. "She has to sit in the gallery."
Amanda's breatheing picked up speed as she looked between the 2 of them.
"No, please, I have to stay with Liv," she began shrieking hysterically.
"Shhh baby," she cooed before holding her close. "I'll stay with you as long as I can."
Amanda cuddled close as Olivia stood up with the blonde in her arms.
"I'll drive and you can sit in the back with her," Alex said and Olivia nodded greatfully.
When they arrived at the courthouse reporters were everywhere and asking questions.
Amanda couldn't speak though. She was too overwhelmed.
"NY PD, move," she snapped flashing her badge and the crowd parted but still continued to snap pictures.
When they finally got inside the courthouse Olivia sat down on a bench with Amanda inher lap.
"Are you ok, honey?" She asked and the blonde just nodded with a scaredexpression on her face.
"He won't be able to get to me?" She signed and Liv shook her head.
"No, baby," she whispered rocking her slightly.
"I won't let that happen," Alex said coming up to the two.
A little while later, Amanda's name was called.
Amanda's breatheing immediately picked up speed and she began hyperventilating.
"Hey hey," her boss said, immediately jumping into action. "You're ok, just breathe," she spoke softly placing a hand on Amanda's heaving chest before sharing a look with Alex.
"What's the hold up?" An officer said standing in the doorway. He had come to escort Alex and Amanda inside the courtroom. "Back off," Olivia snapped continuing to try to calm Amanda down but it wasn't working.
"Sweetheart, I need you to breathe for me, come on," she spoke softly as she took deep breaths hoping her detective would copy her actions.
"Call a bus," she mouthed to Alex who just gave them a worried glance before doing so.
"Baby, we are gonna go to the hospital," the brunette said, afraid her friend would pass out if she didn't get her breatheing under control.
Suddenly there was complete Chaos as the EMT's entered the courthouse.
"What seems to be the problem?" One EMT asked kindly and Alex began explaining to her what was going on.
"She's set to testify against her abductor but she's having a panic attack," she said motioning to the blonde in Olivia's arms.
"Detective Benson, we will need to sedate her," they explained moving closer to the two.
"No, no, no," Amanda screamed and Olivia held her a bit closer.
"Sweetheart, you're ok," she cooed softly as she kissed Amanda's head. "This medicine will help you feel better," she whispered. "Hold me, please," the blonde sobbed and her boss just nodded.
"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered as she saw one of the EmT's filling a syringe and approaching the two women once again.
"No, no, I don't want it," Amanda shrieked and Olivia tilted her chin to meet her eyes. "Baby, shh, it's ok," she said attempting to keep her calm. "You'll feel better, I promise," she continued and Amanda laid her head on Olivia's chest in response.
She nodded to the EMT who carefully injected the light sedative into the blonde's arm and Immediately she relaxed in her boss's embrace.