I want to go home. For a while, this island was fun. We go hunting and exploring, and there are no grown-ups to boss us around. But now I'm starting to get scared. The island… it's doing something to us. Jack's obsessed with hunting now. He's like… I don't know… a wolf or something!

Back before the island, when we were the choir, and not the hunters, Jack was a good leader. He knew what he was doing, and he'd listen to what others had to say. He recognized when he'd lost a fight. Now he fights with Ralph all the time. It's like he's going crazy. I know Ralph's noticed, and I bet that smart kid, Piggy, has noticed, too. Whenever something goes wrong, Jack's solution is to go hunting.

The littleuns are all talking about some kind of Beast. Jack thinks we can kill it. We went looking for it today, Jack and Ralph and the other choir members hunters and me. We didn't find anything. I don't know if I believe in ghosts or Beasts, or whatever – I'm not a littleun – but I can't help but think of something Simon said.

"Maybe the beast is us."

I'm not sure what he meant. I mean, I'm a boy, not a beast. And I haven't seen any beasts around, either, though apparently Sam 'n Eric did this morning (that's why we went looking for it). But it gives you the creeps, doesn't it? I think I'm starting to agree with him, especially after what happened today.

We went hunting on the way back from trying to track down the Beast. We didn't get a pig, but we almost did. So Ralph was bragging about how he stuck the pig in the snout with his spear. And then I started lunging at him like I was the pig, all in fun. Jack and the other boys caught on and they started faking stabs at me, chanting "Kill the pig! Slit her throat! Spill her blood!" The whole hunting chant. We were all having a good time, but then someone hit me for real. Hard. And then, oh God, they kept pummeling me and I was shouting at them "Stop! Stop!" but they were just leering down at me with these eyes and why didn't Ralph do anything! He's the leader. He was supposed to do something. For a moment there, I felt like I was the pig; that they really were going to kill me.

The hunting act, it's not an act anymore. They're going to kill someone the next time. It's not just us choir members hunters, either. I think Ralph's losing it, too. Before, he could always control everyone. I respected him. But now the meetings we have are so tense, like no one wants to listen to him anymore. He's so stuck on the fire and on us being rescued. I want to go back, definitely, but we've already messed it up before. What's to say there'll even be another one?

And even if we do go back, I don't know if we'll be able to really go back. Not like that makes any sense, but it's just a feeling I have. What if Jack really does kill a littleun? I mean, he was joking. Of course he was. …Wasn't he? I can't tell anymore.

He's messing up Ralph, too. Like today, when Ralph didn't do anything. Then, after that, he and Jack went up the mountain to look for the Beast. Roger went with them. They're up there right now. I hope there really isn't a Beast…

A few weeks ago, Ralph wouldn't have done that: gone up there in the middle of the night without thinking it through. But all Jack had to do was ask "Are you coming?" and Ralph went right along with him. You don't need to prove you're not afraid, I thought. We're all afraid now. But he went anyway, like some kind of idiot.

…Maybe Jack's the Beast. Ha ha.