AN: I want to send out a huge virtual hug to everyone who's reviewed, particularly for the last chapter. The last chapter was rather hard to write and I wasn't sure if it had come out right. I'm glad you liked it, and again, I really appreciated the comments. It helped me finish this chapter more quickly than I'd anticipated. Toodles, AT

XXX

The next morning had been awkward, to say the very least. For a change, Dean woke up before Sam, not having slept well at all. This time he'd felt Isabel stir next to him and ten minutes later she'd gone into the bathroom and quietly shut the door. He listened out carefully for her. The shower ran for about half an hour, the tap came next, the toilet flushed, and then there was silence for another fifteen minutes, only broken by the very soft sounds of sniffles. She was crying.

He pretended to be asleep as she came out, but he watched her as she silently got herself a glass of water and pulled up a plastic chair to the window, sitting on it as she looked out onto the sunlit motel parking lot. She must have sat there for about an hour, just staring blankly out the window before Dean finally got up. He coughed faintly to let her know he was awake. Her head moved the slightest towards the sound before she returned to her apparently riveting window-watching.

"I'm sorry" She said softly, staring straight ahead.

He frowned and pulled up a chair, sitting next to her "About what?"

"I didn't take my sleeping pill last night" She said guiltily, still avoiding his gaze.

He sighed loudly. Under very different circumstances, this would be the precise moment when he would normally go off at her in one of his usual tirades. Not today.

"Why not?" He asked instead.

"It made me sleepy" She said.

Oh, but how she tested him "Isabel, it's a sleeping pill" He said plainly.

A faint smile broke on her face "I meant, all the time. It made me sleepy all the time, all day"

"It doesn't matter. I want to talk about what actually happened, not why" He said. She hadn't turned to him yet and he sensed her reluctance "Isabel, talk to me. You promised."

After a few seconds of stoic silence she finally turned to him slowly, her expression resilient. She was cried out and all she was left with now were the facts. Facts which she was now in a better frame of mind to face. The sun was shining brightly through the window and redness from all her crying made her eyes look unusually blue, as if they were sympathizing with her somber mood.

"I think deep down, I always knew what happened" She started, her voice steady "I mean, the doctors told me, I saw the scars, and I hadn't really blocked out all of it. I remember a lot of it, actually. I remember the mine, I remember the girls, the chains, the cold…" She took a deep breath and looked away from Dean again "It just didn't feel real and, as long as it didn't feel real, I could pretend it wasn't. At least for now"

"Go on" He said grabbing her hand. It was cold and small against his large warm one.

"I think all the pills do is just sweep things under the rug, you know? They numb me. I didn't think I'd be able to move on until I dealt with it head on, instead of just dragging it out or…delaying the inevitable. It's not my style to stave, anyway. Does that make sense? I just didn't think it would be so…" She turned to him again, as if begging him to understand so she wouldn't have to continue with her convoluted explanation "Last night was scary"

"You scared the crap out of me, Bel" He said honestly.

"I scared the crap out of me!" She looked out the window, spotting the biker from the previous night. He was waking back from the diner to his bike, glancing a couple of times towards the window. She wondered if he could see her or feel her watching him "I remember him"

Dean snorted as he followed her gaze "Tried coming to your rescue" He tried to be more bitter, but recognized that had he been in the biker's position he would have acted the same.

She chuckled "From you?" She squinted as she watched him, her eyes now sparkling with interest as she took in his rugged features and muscular build "He's cute, don't you think?"

He frowned in confusion "Not really, but then again, he's not my type"

"Can I go talk to him?" She asked, completely out of the blue.

Dean stared at her stunned "Uh, I don't…I don't know if that's a good idea, Bel"

"Can I tell you something really important?" She turned to him with a sad smile "When I was nine, my mom sat down with me and told me I would never have a brother or sister. That day I decided that when I grew up and got married, I would have lots of kids. I'm talking lots. Like, five, maybe six. A huge house full of noise and chaos" She leaned forward towards him and whispered, as if her point would be better made if told as a secret "That's not going to happen if I'm afraid of men. I don't want to be afraid. I know it's irrational, and I don't want it to get in the way of what I want in life" She nodded towards the biker casually "I just want to go out and talk to him. Explain what happened. Please?"

He hesitated, but putting his own feelings of protectiveness and doubts aside, he decided she made a valid point. He was willing to do whatever it took for her to get better. Whatever she thought she needed. If she thought she needed to go and chat up some Harley- riding leather-clad John Doe, then he was just going to suck it up and take it like a man.

"I'll be watching you from here. Don't go anywhere with him" He said seriously.

Her smile brightened "I won't"

"Take your jacket, it's cold"

She stood and grabbed her jacket, zipping it up merrily as she bent down and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you Dean"

She walked out of the room and he watched her closely as she moved towards the biker, her steps confident and sprightly as she approached the man. She kept her distance as the man recognized her and got off his bike. She held out her hand and the man shook it, glancing towards their room again before turning to her and smiling. She put her hands back in her pockets and shifted from foot to foot as she talked to him.

"What time is it?" Dean turned to find Sam out of bed and getting dressed before turning back to face the window.

"Almost nine" He mumbled, still watching his cousin and the biker as they now seemed to be conversing casually.

Sam looked around for Isabel "Where is she?"

Dean motioned towards the window in front of him "Out there"

Sam rushed to the window "What is she doing?" He asked alarmed and rushed to the door "You let her go out?"

"Hey, hey, hey" Dean said swiftly standing up and grabbing his brother by the arm as he dragged him back to the window "Relax, she's just talking to him. Don't worry, I'm watching them"

"Wait a minute" Sam frowned as he recognized the man and turned to Dean questioningly "Isn't that the biker from last night? Why is she talking to that guy?"

"Because she asked me if she could, and I said yes" Dean explained taking his seat by the window.

Sam glared at his brother "I don't like it"

"Well, guess what Sam? I don't like it either" Dean said "But they're just talking. She needs this"

"She needs this? After what happened last night, she needs to go talk to some random guy" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the biker "who looks like he probably has a criminal record?"

"Yes Sam" Dean said tiredly "She does"

"She talked to you about it, didn't she?" Sam asked curiously as he took Isabel's empty seat next to Dean "She remembers what happened?"

Dean nodded sadly "Yeah"

They watched in silence as Isabel finally made a move to go and shook the biker's hand. The guy jumped in his bike with a grin and put his helmet over his long brown hair. She waved at him and started back towards the room, a small satisfied smile on her face. She walked into the room to find both her cousins watching her intently, making her slightly uneasy. She turned to Sam, who looked like he was about to have a stroke. She closed the door slowly and braced herself.

"Isabel, what the hell were you doing?" He asked her quietly, but his tone noticeably laced with anger.

"Skiing across the Swiss Alps Sam! Geez, I was just talking to…Robert" She nodded back towards the way she came in.

"Robert?" Sam asked, trying to hang on to his quickly fading calm "After what happened last night?"

"Yeah, I wanted to explain to him what happened" She said defensively.

Isabel could understand his disapproval and she had actually been expecting it since the minute she'd woken up. But she'd been expecting it from Dean, not from Sam, her gentler, more compassionate cousin. She was unprepared for an outburst from him, and she was also not in the mood.

"To him?" He asked in disbelief "Explain to me what happened!"

"I didn't take my sleeping pill" She said reluctantly.

"You forgot your sleeping pill?" Sam raised his eyebrows and scoffed, as if he wasn't sure if she was joking with him.

"No" She said slowly, having hoped that Dean had told him but clearly, he hadn't "I just…didn't take it"

"Why the hell not Isabel?" He yelled at her "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I swear to God Sam, it was never my intention for you to find out" She said, and immediately knew that it had come out wrong.

Sam glared at her "This is not the kind of thing you can keep from us" He said severely.

"Sam, will you relax for a minute?" Dean interrupted.

"No Dean, you are not responsible for her" Sam said to his brother, who was in no way helping him make a big deal out of this, like he normally would "So you be quiet!"

"Why are you so angry?" She asked, not understanding why he was so upset when Dean wasn't.

"Because you don't know what you put us through last night"

"You think I was at a freaking tea party in Wonderland last night?" She asked "You don't think I remember Sam? I do, OK? This isn't easy for me either"

Sam took a deep breath and a moment of silence a he ran a palm over his face "OK. I'm sorry…let's start again. How are you feeling today, Isabel?"

"I'm better" She eyed him warily and unzipped her jacket "Now that I know what I'm dealing with, I can. The worst is over"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Will you please stop asking me that? Both of you" She asked in exasperation "Why do I need to talk about it with you? I've talked about it enough! I appreciate the support and you've both been a great help, don't get me wrong, but I'm the one who went through it, and I'm the only one who can deal with it"

"It will still help to talk it through though" Sam insisted.

"Like you can talk" She spat back snidely "Don't you think you're being a slight bit hypocritical Sam? You wanna talk? Fine! Tell you what; I'll talk to you about it after we all have a nice long chat about Jessica. What do you say?"

And here it was, Sam thought. She could really be predictable sometimes, and so unbelievably cruel when she wanted to be. This was the moment when Isabel used someone's weak spot to her advantage, and viciously pounced on it to turn the argument around. She was ruthlessly good at it and she always knew just what to say to cause the greatest possible sting. If her comment hadn't hurt so much, he would have laughed at her.

Dean would always fall straight into it, their tempers so alike and explosive that the outcome was as predictable as a volatile chemical reaction. But Sam was more controlled than that. He knew her well by now and he was not going to let her get the better of him. Not like this. He kept his expression impassive and looked at her calmly.

"You're lashing out" He said evenly, almost teasing "I hope you weren't counting on me to lose my temper over that, were you?"

She was taken aback for a moment, but only a moment, before a faint smile crossed her face and she looked down at the ground, conceding defeat. She should have known better. This particular ploy had never worked on Sam. Oh, well, she tried.

"I'm sorry Sam" She said earnestly, looking up at him "It was a pretty horrible thing to say and I didn't mean it"

"I know you didn't really mean it Bel" Sam said "But it still hurt"

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked with a supporting hand on his arm.

"Not really" He said shaking his head.

"And why not?" She asked.

"I just don't" And that's where he stopped as the penny finally dropped.

He looked down at her, a slight smug smirk on her face. Damn she was good! He had fallen for that so easily, helping her admirably make her point. Hell, he had just made her point for her. Even Dean was shaking his head sadly at him. He let out a resigned breath and looked at her jadedly.

"Everyone has skeletons in their closet Sam. Everyone" She explained "It's not about hiding them or pretending they're not there, it's about acknowledging their existence, because whether you like it or not, they're a part of who you are"

"So this is just another skeleton in your closet, Bel?"

"We all deal with things our own way" She said "I've got my way. It's worked for me in the past. Look at everything I've been through, and yet here I am, ready to move on! I know what works for me, and I know what doesn't. I'm not keeping things from you, but some things have to belong only to me. Will you please trust me?"

He watched her for a minute as he tried to gauge her sincerity. He nodded. She made sense, in a long-winded complicated way.

"Are you doing better Isabel?" He asked one last time "Be honest, are you?"

"I am. I'm doing so much better, and I know that a big part of that is because of you and Dean. I hope you realize how much you've helped me by just being here" She said with a smile "Now, can we go get some breakfast, I'm really hungry!"

"That's because you tossed your cookies last night" Dean said frankly standing up and grabbing his wallet "I've never seen so much come out of someone so little"

"I think it goes without saying that I should be in charge of your medication again" Sam said as they stepped out of the room.

"Then why say it? " Isabel asked tartly but gave Sam a small apologetic smile to let him know she was just teasing.

It was decided over breakfast that they would leave town after immediately, and Isabel knew, as she was left out of that particular decision making conversation, that it had to do with the biker and her public scene-making crazy parade she'd put on the night before.

"We should head southeast" Sam said unfolding the road map "Towards Tennessee"

Isabel smiled in excitement. She didn't know why she wanted to go to Graceland. She wasn't an Elvis fan and never had been. She had thought when she'd woken up that morning, that her cousins would take her back to Illinois after the events of last night, finally having had had it with her. But they hadn't even brought it up and she didn't want to in case they took it as sign she wanted to. She wasn't ready. After remembering what had happened to her in Belleville in a flood of vivid images, she didn't think that going home would help. She needed time away. She needed her family. Or what was left of it, anyway.

"Are you gonna eat the rest of that?" Dean asked her, already reaching for her plate of unfinished blueberry pancakes.

"Go for it" She said absently.

"Here you go" Sam said placing pills she didn't even realized he'd been holding in front of the now empty space on the table before her.

He was watching her closely and she fought the urge to argue as his expression left no room for argument anyway. She swallowed them obediently and opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue to prove to him that she had in fact ingested them. They returned to the room after breakfast and packed their things, loading up the trunk of the Impala as Dean threw Sam the keys.

"You drive" He said, opening the back door. Isabel moved forward to step in, thinking he was opening the door for her but he stepped in instead "You go in the front. I wanna sleep"

She didn't argue. It was the first time Dean had ridden in the back, and voluntarily. She figured he must have been really tired and a renewed feeling of guilt rushed over her, knowing she was the reason why.

Ten minutes after driving off, Dean started snoring. She looked over the seat and laughed. He was actually lying across the seat. That couldn't possibly be comfortable, could it? She settled back and looked at Sam for a second.

Sam felt his cousin watching him "What?"

She smiled wickedly "It's your birthday tomorrow"

"Yeah" He said, not in the least excited about it "And?"

"You realize we have to go out and celebrate" She said as if it were a universally approved fact, like the earth's rotation around the sun, or the changing of the seasons.

"Do we now?" Still disinterested.

"Yes, we must" She said "You're never turning 23 again. Ever"

"Yeah, that's usually how time works"

"I'm serious Sam" She said "Birthdays are a big deal… and also and excellent excuse to party, which you need to do more of"

"I'm not much of a party animal" Sam confessed.

"I've noticed" She said bitterly "But I am, and so is Dean so I don't care what you say, we're going out"

"Are you going to consider my opinion?" He asked.

"Of course Sammy, I'm sorry" She said "And your cry-baby whiny opinion would be…?"

"Right now, it's that you're becoming increasingly bitchy"

"I've missed eight of your birthdays Sam" She said sadly "I don't want to miss anymore"

He looked at her and smiled "Do we have to go out though?"

"We're only going to be young once Sam. We need to let our hair down and take a break from all this drama. I feel like I'm living in a soap opera. I need to go out" she finished quietly.

He turned to her again, picking up on her mood change "You sure you're OK, Bel? Do you want to go home?"

She turned sharply to him "No" She shook her head "That's the last thing I want to do. Why? Do you want to take me back?"

"No, of course not! I just thought that…" He started "maybe being somewhere familiar"

"That's exactly it, Sam" She said "It's familiar and therefore a constant reminder"

"You can't be on the road forever. You're going to have to go back sometime"

"Maybe, but not yet" She looked out the window "It's too soon. You know, my life has fallen apart before. I know how to put it back together and I'm going to do it again. It'll be easier this time, I have you and Dean"

Sam smiled gently, though she could not see it and turned his eyes back to the road "Yeah"

"I'm not going to let what happened stop me from getting what I want out of life" She said determined "I will move on"

She looked at her cousin intently, knowing he was intelligent enough to realize she was indirectly talking about him too. She knew he was still hung up on Jessica, and had not moved on completely from her death. And she would bet that he didn't even want to move on. He returned her look and she was satisfied that he'd gotten the message. Whether he agreed with her or not, was another matter.