I gasp against Naraku's hands around my throat. My nails dig into his hands, his blood seeping between my fingers. I reach for his face, but he's just out of reach. The pressure in my head builds until I can barely string together a single thought. Water fills my mouth, trailing down my throat, into my lungs as he pushes me under a small pool in the back of his cave. I thrash, trying to grab onto anything I could use as a weapon, but there's nothing. I open my eyes to see his beady red gaze boring into me, a cruel sneer on his face. My vision blurs further as pixies dance across my vision, the edges turning black. Something warm forces its way between my hands, fur. My eyebrows lower as I fight for air, something wet lapping at my face, nuzzling at my neck.
My eyes fly open immediately meeting large, golden eyes framed by grey and brown fur.
"Eri?" My voice is shaky, fear coating the two syllables. The slim wolf nods once and resumes her previous actions, gently nuzzling and licking my face and neck. Slowly, my fists release their grip on her fur and I'm able to stroke her soft fur, eyes closing as I catch my breath. "I'm sorry," I whisper into her ear. "I'm sorry." Tears sting the backs of my eyes, nearly choking me again. Eri pulls back to look into my eyes once more, concern and love shining through her honey-colored orbs, before she rests her head on my shoulder, pushing her body against my torso. It feels so much like a hug that I find myself bursting into tears. She nuzzles further into the crook of my neck, not making a sound as I wrap my arms too tightly around her, crying into her fur. A low rumbling vibrates through her chest against mine, slowly easing the tension built up in my chest. My breathing comes easier, the throbbing in my head lessening, and tears subsiding. She tilts her head, as though asking if I'm okay, and I find myself nodding, a small smile tugging at my lips. "Better. Thank you." Eri seems to smile back at me as she sits up a bit, though still laying on top of me. "What time is it?" I wonder aloud, looking around for the alarm clock. I squint across the room at the blinking red numbers reading ten twenty-three. "That late, huh? We should probably find something to eat, what do you say?" Eri nods, leaping from the bed, and waits at the door. I wander into the kitchen to find an empty bowl not so subtly left next to the box of oats and a note on the counter.
Morning sleeping beauty, I roll my eyes at the greeting, unable to stop the smirk tugging at my lips. I know you said you could handle breakfast, but I'd feel better knowing you had at least one meal we KNOW your system can handle for now. There are some blueberries in the top right corner of the fridge if you want to mix it up a little and your tea is next to the kettle. Help yourself to any and all snacks you find laying around and don't forget to have lunch. I hope Eri took good care of you this morning, I smile, rubbing the wolf's head affectionately, the others are outside. They won't have to eat until tonight, so don't worry about that. They ARE allowed inside if you want them, and they have their orders. My cell phone number is attached to the fridge, if you need anything just use the landline. See you tonight, gorgeous.
I shake my head, still smirking as I start the kettle and get the blueberries out of the fridge. While it's heating up, I open the front door and step outside, only shivering once before letting the sun's rays warm my face. Minako and Dai come running over, each taking turns licking my hands before I start petting each of them. It's not so cold I can't just leave the door open, I figure, I'll keep the fire going in the living room when it gets chillier and keep a blanket nearby, they can come and go as they please. I hear the water whistle and flinch, quickly shaking my head again before going back inside to finish making breakfast. I take my tea over to the coffee table in front of the sofa first, letting it finish steeping, and finish making my oatmeal, sprinkling a handful of blueberries over the top. After a moment's hesitation, knowing I probably shouldn't, I sprinkle just a little bit of cinnamon sugar over the top, smiling to myself. Minako and Eri look at me, heads tilted and eyebrows raised, almost like they know what I did. I smile a little, raising a finger to my lips.
"I won't tell if you don't," I suggest. They both shake their heads as they follow me back to the sofa. Eri curls up at my feet while Minako takes the spot on the sofa next to me. The look in her eyes seems to say, I won't tell if you don't, and I laugh outright, taking a large bite of the hot oats. The cinnamon melts on my mouth while the blueberry bites back just the slightest bit, melding perfectly together. My eyes close in content as I blindly reach for the remote. I turn on the tv, pretending to channel surf for a minute, stopping on the cartoon channel again. An episode and a half in, I find myself scraping the bottom of the bowl, breakfast completely gone, and still hungry. Smiling a bit to myself, I walk back into the kitchen and fill the bowl with water while I put a piece of bread in the toaster. I manage to finish clean my dishes, putting them on the drying rack, just as the toast pops back up. I jump at the sudden sound, shake my head, and quickly butter the warm bread, carrying it back to my seat where the girls are still waiting. I'm able to eat a little over half of the piece of toast before my stomach feels a little too full and I split it into threes, giving one piece to Eri and Minako, taking the last piece outside. I make kissy noises into the air, trying to call Dai, but still not quite trusting Kouga's barriers to hide my voice. Within seconds, he comes running over, clearly on alert, but his posture softens at seeing his treat. He trots over quickly, sniffs at the piece of bread, and gingerly takes it, eating it whole.
"Chew before you swallow, you could choke," I warn him. He looks at me skeptically before trotting off again in the opposite direction. Minako brushes against my side, looking out after him. "You guys working in shifts?" She nods once, gently nudging me back inside once she notices my shivering. "I'm going to throw on warmer clothes," I tell the two wolves. This time, Minako follows me back to the bedroom where I rummage through the duffel bag on the floor, pulling out a pair of dark grey sweatpants, tapered around the ankle, a navy tank top, white long sleeve, and a muted blue zip-up hoodie. "Layers are key," I mutter to myself while getting changed. Digging around a little more, I find a pair of cozy socks my toes are all too thankful for. I move into the bathroom, brushing my teeth while Minako waits outside the door. I try not to grimace at my reflection, still not used to the gauntness of my face, the shadows under my eyes, the bruises and scabs. Too many memories play out against my will as I close my eyes, trying to shut them out. I drop to the floor, clutching my head as tears fight their way to my face again. Minako opens the door within seconds and seats herself on my lap, letting me grip her fur and cry as Eri had earlier that morning. She, too, nuzzles into my neck, lapping up my tears with her large tongue, emitting the same low frequency rumbling in her chest in an attempt to calm me down.
When I'm settled back down, she pulls me out of the bathroom, not letting me look in the mirror again, and sits me on the couch where Dai is already waiting. Minako disappears while Dai settles himself next to me on the couch, laying his head in my lap. He shakes his head until I start rubbing his ears, making him melt just as he had the day before. Minako returns with a hair tie in her mouth, waiting for me to take it from her before laying down on my other side, nudging the remote control closer to me. I smile, gratefully, down at the two wolves as I turn the volume up on the television. After being surrounded only by silence or Naraku for the last six years, it's a blessing to have normal sounds around me again. I'm still adjusting, but anything is better than the never-ending silence of that cave, just waiting for him to resume his torment. I pause my petting just long enough to put my hair up into a messy bun, immediately returning to my affections once it's off of my neck and out of my face, another pleasure I would never take for granted again. We stay there for several hours, long after my legs have fallen asleep under their weight. Minako leaps from the couch, running into the kitchen where she begins whining.
"What's wrong?" I ask her, trying to see the problem. She paces between the pantry, the stove, and the fridge, stopping at each point to stare at me before resuming her pacing. "Kouga said you guys would be good until dinner, are you hungry?" My eyes widen in realisation and I check the time on the television. Lunchtime. I smile at the wolf, nudging Dai's head gently off my lap, much to his confusion. I stand up, stretching quickly, and grin as several pops sound throughout the room. Minako whines again, nodding her head at the fridge. "I'm coming, I get it." I rub her head as I walk by, opening the fridge to inspect its contents. "Thank you for reminding me. Kouga would have lost it if I forgot." Minako breathes out a chuckle as she lays down on the floor just out of the kitchen. "How do you think an omelette sounds?" She makes some kind of positive-sounding whistle so I grab two eggs from the carton. Staring at them in my hand, I glance over to find Minako still staring at me. She raises an eyebrow, looking at the two eggs. "Yeah, you're right. That's a bit ambitious," I admit, putting one of them back in the carton. "Now, where are the…" I rummage through several cabinets and drawers until I find a pot and pan. "There we go."
I start the water boiling first and slowly raise the temperature under the pan, coating it in PAM to keep anything from sticking. The timing works out just right so I can put a bag of rice in the pot and pour a thin layer of the eggs into the pan. Once cooked, I roll it and add another thin layer, rolling that layer into the last. Finally emptying the bowl of scrambled egg, I place it under the faucet in the sink and run water over it so the egg doesn't dry to the sides and place my omelette on a plate. The rice finishes cooking then so I quickly drain the water from the pot and dump the rice onto the plate as well. A little more searching rewards me with a decently sized knife and I carefully cut the omelette into fifths. Smiling at my first home-cooked meal in years, I grab a pair of chopsticks from another drawer and a glass of water and make my way back over to the couch. Dai and Minako look on in surprised admiration.
"Not too bad for being so out of practice, huh?" They quickly settle back down on either side of me, faces pointed at the tv. "Let's just hope it tastes as good as it looks," I murmur, silently praying to whatever deity will listen. Hesitantly, I take a bite and sigh in relief. "Oh thank god," I whisper, taking another bite. I hadn't realised I was hungry, my stomach still not used to having food readily available again, but now that it's in front of me I felt ravenous. I quickly finish off the omelette but end up leaving some of the rice on the plate, unable to take another bite. My eyelids start to droop, exhaustion from overeating taking over, and I feel myself doze off, curled up between two sleeping wolves. I wake with a start and glance at the clock to find it had barely been an hour. Not terribly interested in the show currently on the tv, but also not wanting to go through each channel, I walk over to the bookshelves lining the wall around the fireplace. He's a bigger reader than I would have thought, I realise, browsing the extensive variety of books.
Novels, old textbooks, scientific journals, history books, he has a little of everything. I graze my finger across a row of exclusively leather-bound tomes, more than pleased at the lack of dust coating them. He reads them often, or at the very least takes good care of them. I close my eyes, drawing my finger across the shelves at random, touching each book on that shelf before moving to the next, until I feel compelled to stop. I open my eyes to find my finger resting on a particularly worn paperback. Smirking a bit, I gently pull it from the shelf, smiling a bit wider at the author. A collection of short stories by Jun'ichirō Tanizaki, Why am I not surprised. I shake my head even as I make my way to the kitchen, book in hand. I refill the kettle and start heating up water for another cup of tea as I skim the table of contents. It's been ages since I've read anything of his. He had seemed too creepy when I was younger, so dark and ominous. After everything that's happened, I wonder if I'll be able to understand them in a different light.
Tea ready, I carefully walk back over to the couch and turn to his short story The Tattooer. In it, a young woman is attacked by a cruel man who drugs her, tattooing a giant spider against her will while she is unconscious, claiming it will bring out who she is meant to be. I nearly chuckle at the similarities. When I was younger, I thought he had turned her into a monster, that the story was just about the cruelty of humans and how evil creates evil. Now, however, I can see that the woman truly was transformed. She had been naive, suppressing her darker interests to please those around her, not able to be who she really was. After the experience, however, she has no problem using her beauty and new-found abilities to make the men around her crumple at her feet, draining the tattooer of his very essence and leaving him a shell of the man he had been. She came out of it stronger than she had been before, she would never be taken advantage of again, If she can do it…. I bite my lip, the tiniest bit of hope growing in my chest, and quickly cross the room to grab another book. And then another. And then another. The wolves start growing restless around me, Eri and Dai pacing by the front door while Minako has taken post in the walkway. Were if not for their relaxed postures, I would have been concerned, but shortly after, the headlights from Kouga's jeep peek through the trees, still a bit away.
I smirk at the anxious wolves, knowing they're excited their alpha is home, and try to finish the chapter quickly. They each howl as he parks in the small driveway, turning in circles in anticipation as he cuts the engine. I hear him quietly ask them how I've been and smile a little, shaking my head. He's so used to taking care of everyone else it seems, I can't help but wonder if the favour is ever returned. He walks in and I can feel his surprise at finding me on the couch, not watching tv, but surrounded by a small pile of books. I bite my lip in an attempt to contain my smile and finish my last sentence, repeating the page number as I close it so I don't forget my place, and place it on top of the stack. Turning around, I find Kouga's lips twitching as he contains his own smile, clearly trying not to make a big deal of the situation. Reading his aura, he's clearly happy I found something to be interested in, and something else too…
"I'll put them all back," I promise, nodding my head at the books. "You have a bigger collection than I thought you would." He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, several bags in the other.
"Didn't think I was illiterate, did ya?" I tilt my head, averting my eyes, and make a skeptical expression. "Okay, ouch," he laughs as he drops the bags on the counter. "Just a couple more, be right back." I notice him scanning the book titles from across the room, his aura flaring bright yellow for a second. So he's pleased with the books I picked, I realise. For some reason, I'm glad he liked the books I wanted to read. I didn't think he had bought them because he disliked them, but that at least one of those in the pile might be a favourite made me want to smile. I jump off of the sofa and wander over to the counter, unloading the bags. He walks back in, shaking his head slightly. "You don't have to do that, I got it."
"I want to help," I assure him, shrugging. After a second, he nods his head and we finish putting away the assortment of groceries, quickly filling the fridge and cabinets. "Are you feeding a small army?" I ask, teasingly. He snorts, rolling his eyes as he crams another box of rice into the cupboard.
"I don't like going into town if I don't have to," he admits before looking sheepish. "Too loud." I hadn't even thought of his sensitive hearing. My eyes widen, instantly darting to the pointed appendages. He must die in big cities. I wince at the thought, remembering how overwhelming it could get for me after adjusting to the feudal era's silence, and I didn't have enhanced hearing. "Good day?" His tone is light, casual, but the concern is easy enough to read in his aura.
"Yeah, it was." Ignoring the two minor freakouts from this morning anyway. "How about you? Anything interesting happen?"
"Nah, couple tour groups but for the most part I was stuck inside with the two idiots." I laugh a bit imagining Ginta, Hakkaku, and Kouga running any kind of business together. "They say hi by the way," he adds, softly. I smile a bit, missing them dearly.
"Tell them I say hi back?" He nods his head, a small smile on his own face.
"You got it," he promises. "Did you have dinner yet?" I glance, not so subtly, at the clock on the stove and try not to gawk at how late it had gotten. "I'll take that as a no." His voice is stern, more than a little disappointed, and he shoots a look at the three wolves in the doorway. They all droop their heads in apology and I find my eyebrows lowering.
"It's not their fault," I interject. "I'm more than capable of reading a clock, I just got carried away. It's been a while since I've read anything." I notice his wince and almost feel bad for bringing it up. "I had a big lunch and breakfast though," I offer as compensation. His ears twitch ever so slightly in interest and his eyes glance over from me to the freshly washed dishes. "Big bowl of oatmeal with blueberries and half a piece of toast, then an omelette and almost a whole bag of rice," I explain before he can ask. "I've also been drinking plenty of tea and water." I stand up a little straighter at the proud expression on his face.
"I suppose, given all that, I can forgive you forgetting dinner," he relents, leaning against the counter. "But I'm making something now you gotta eat at least some of." I nod my head and sit on the other side of the counter, giving him full use of the kitchen. "Think you could stomach some of my stuff, master chef?" He asks, grabbing the pan I had used earlier. I feel my cheeks heat up at the praise and manage a chuckle.
"Your cooking's not so bad," I assure him. He gets all the ingredients for a pretty basic ramen with chicken broth, not so subtly eyeing the collection of books stacked on the table.
"Read anything good today?" I smirk a little, recalling his joy at seeing them on the table.
"Yeah, a few actually." He waits several seconds before giving me a slightly exasperated look at the lack of details.
"Any worth mentioning?" I chuckle again, nodding my head.
"Yeah, I never would have pegged you for a Bukowski guy." He snorts out a laugh, but the flash of his aura tells me I'd picked correctly. "He's a little… pessimistic, don't you think?"
"Hey, the guy's a realist, not pessimist," he defends. "Besides, I promised him I'd buy at least one of his books, didn't expect to like them."
"Wait, you promised him?" I ask, more than a little incredulously. It sounded like he was saying…
"Yeah, I met the guy back in the sixties." I feel my eyes widen and jaw drop at his casual confession, as though meeting famous poets was a daily occurrence. "He was in pretty bad shape over this girl, I forget her name, but I'm pretty sure he basically lived in the bar I met him in." He chuckles as he stirs the ramen into the pot, turning to start cutting vegetables. "He definitely called it like he saw it, which I appreciated, and then he told me he was a writer. I figured he was just like all the other writers out there, lotta dreams but no real outcome, so I told him I'd buy one of his books. Imagine my surprise when I walk into a bookstore twenty years later and there's a whole row of his stuff." He smiles, shaking his head, a faraway look in his eyes. It really hit me then how much more he's experienced in this world that used to be just mine. I remember having to explain so many things to InuYasha and the others, not being able to say anything to Kouga or his pack, or anyone else we met, and now he's been in my world longer than I have.
"So, if you like that darker, brutal kind of writing, why is Joyce on those shelves? Specifically Portrait?" He laughs outright then and I find myself smiling along with him. "I'm serious! That whole book is about a whiny boy trying to find beauty in everything and getting all moody when girls don't like him back."
"You don't think there's beauty in everything?" He asks, tone somewhere between serious and teasing.
"Well, not everything. Most things, yeah, but not enough to obsess over it to that degree." He laughs again, dumping the veggies into the pot.
"And here I thought you would have been all over that sorta thing," he muses, stirring the pot.
"What do you mean?"
"I dunno, you were always so positive back then, even when things were total shit. Saw the good in everybody, even me." He turns to face me, his expression skeptical. "And that's saying something, you had to be looking deep in there." I roll my eyes at him.
"You weren't that bad." He arches an eyebrow at me, forcing me to laugh. "I'm serious! Once you stopped eating people, you really turned everything around. That was on your own, I didn't do that."
"No," he admits, pouring two bowls. "But you did inspire it. Never woulda happened if it weren't for you." He smiles down at me gently, almost reminding me of the looks he gave me 500 years ago. "Eat up, it's late." I do as he says and sit with him on the couch while he flips through channels. I make it through about half of the bowl before exhaustion makes it too difficult to function. Kouga chuckles as he takes my bowl and spoon, placing them on the coffee table, and helping me back towards the bedroom. "It's expected, you haven't moved this much in a while, and I like to think you're significantly less stressed which is a lot for your brain to catch up with." Not fully understanding how that came into play, but too tired to ask, I simply nod my head and allow him to help me into bed. When he turns to leave, my eyebrows lower on their own accord.
"You aren't staying?" I hate the fear that creeps into my voice at the idea of sleeping by myself, even as I know how selfish it is to ask him to stay in a chair all night. He stops at the door, a gentle smile on his face.
"I'll be in in just a few minutes, I just gotta clean up out here. I'll be right back," he promises. I nod my head, eyes already closing, and attempt to tell him to leave the books for me to get tomorrow, Kami only knows if it was understandable. I hear him chuckle and his footsteps down the hallway. A brief flash of fear tears through my chest at the nightmares that are surely waiting on the other side of consciousness, but remember Kouga could likely hear me in the woods, being in the other room would be no issue. My last thought before succumbing to exhaustion echoes in the darkness, He'll protect me.