I take a deep breath, straightening the pillows and blankets on the couch for the umpteenth time that evening. This is ridiculous, I shake my head and walk back towards Kouga's bedroom, Minako and Eri hot on my tail. I grimace at the sweats and tank top I'm wearing, exposing my still too noticeable collar bones and too thin arms, and dig around the duffle bag that holds my clothes. Kouga had said I was more than welcome to use the dresser and closet but I just don't feel right taking over everything he owns, not after everything he's already done for me. Pulling out a chunkier tan cardigan and a green, long-sleeved shirt, I make it to the bottom of the bag, staring at several pairs of jeans. I hadn't had the courage to try them on since my first day. It's been over a month since then, I remind myself. You've filled out a bit since then, it'll be different this time. Taking a deep breath, I gingerly take out a pair of straight leg, dark wash jeans with a few strategic tears and stare at them for several moments. Minako whines beside me as she and Eri nuzzle either side of my face. I smile at each of them before turning my attention back to the denim in my hands.
"It'll be different," I whisper to myself. Swallowing passed the lump in my throat, I grab the clothes and lay them out on the bed before stripping off the sweats and tank top. "It'll be different." Even as I reassure myself, I don't look at my body for too long, knowing it's still not where I used to be. I put the shirt and sweater on first and a pair of clean socks, and stare at the size label on the inside of the jeans. They read Size 0. I haven't been a 0 since I was eleven. Eri nudges my hand, a reassuring look in her eyes. I release the breath I'd been holding and close my eyes, pulling the denim over my legs. I don't open them until after I button and zip the front, waiting for a moment to see if they would stay in place. I give a little hop, more than surprised when they don't slide off my hips. Hesitantly, I open my eyes and slowly look down. Tears sting my eyes almost immediately.
I run into the bathroom, standing on the step stool to look in the mirror there. I had been careful to avoid it since my first meltdown when Kouga had gone to work. He had noticed, of course, and taped a large piece of paper over it so I wouldn't be bothered by any accidental glances. Tonight, however, I carefully peel off the tape, waiting until the paper is completely gone before looking in the mirror for the first time in over a month. I'm not back to my normal size, or what I think I should be given that I had finished maturing in the last six years, and I still look a little on the thinner side, but for the first time since coming back, I'm not distracted by bones that should be hidden by a plumper layer of flesh or clothes that hang entirely too loosely from my frame to be a style choice. For the first time, I look normal. I cover my mouth as tears spill from my eyes, my knees caving under the emotional pressure, and I drop to the floor. Eri is by my side in an instant, licking away my tears and pressing herself into me for a hug. She pulls back, just as startled as I am, when I start to laugh.
"Eri," I whisper around the tears. "I look normal." She seems to smile as she hugs me again, nuzzling into my neck. Smelling my tears, no doubt, Dai comes rushing in, clearly confused at the lack of a threat. "I'm okay, Dai," I assure him. He seems to notice my change of clothes then and understanding dawns behind his wise golden eyes. He smiles before going back outside to wait. Minako walks in with a box of tissues in her mouth. I smile gratefully, taking them from her with a quick scratch between her ears. "Okay, time to get cleaned up." I smile, standing up again, nearly startling at my own reflection after weeks of not seeing it but rather than be repulsed, I'm able to smile at the girl looking back at me, really feeling hope that I can get back to normal again. He's not winning again.
I can't help the shudder than wracks my body at the thought of him, but I can admire the determination in my own eyes, reminding me of days long ago when I ran with a hanyou, a demon slayer, a monk, and my precious little kitsune. Feeling the tears returning, I close my eyes and shake my head. Later, I promise myself as I wipe away the remaining tears and blow my nose before splashing cold water on my face. I grab a hair tie from the counter, one of Kouga's, and pull back half of my hair, allowing my new bangs and a few other pieces to fall in the front. I hear Kouga's car coming up the driveway and smile down at Eri, who had remained by my side even after the others ran to meet him at the door. "Showtime." I smile down at her, chuckling as I watch her take off down the hall to join the others outside.
I hear them all talking outside and feel my heart race in anticipation. Taking slow steps, I make my way to the front door and can just make out their silhouettes through the curtains before the car lights all turn off. I take another deep breath and step outside, wrapping my arms around myself to ward off the chill in the air. After a second, three heads turn in my direction. Kouga gives me his usual once-over and stops at the sight of denim where, before, only sweats or leggings had been. His face lights up, pride shining through his eyes as he meets my excited gaze, a smile pulling at his own lips before,
"Sis!" Ginta and Hakkaku race up the porch, both of them throwing their arms around me at once. I don't stop the laughter from bubbling out of me at their tight embrace, instead pulling them closer even as tears sting my eyes again.
"We missed you so much!" Hakkaku practically yells over my head.
"We're so glad you're here," Ginta whispers next to my ear, nuzzling into my side much like the wolves had been doing for weeks now.
"I missed you guys too," I admit, pulling away a bit to really look at them. "You got taller," I realise in shock. The boys scratch their heads, taking noticeably deeper breaths than necessary. I now knew they were taking in my scent, something I had gotten used to since living with Kouga. They're probably checking that I'm healthy and doing okay, I smile at the thought.
"Alright you three, take it inside," Kouga interrupts, his amused expression betraying his stern voice. "Some of those present aren't born with a higher tolerance to cold." Realising I had been shivering, they quickly usher me inside. Bags in each of their hands. I take one from Kouga, leaning into his one-armed hug once he's through the doorway. He leans down until his lips are right next to my ear, sending a small shiver down my spine. "The jeans look great," he whispers. I blush as he pulls away and winks at me before rolling my eyes and shoving him into the kitchen, even as a smile pulls at my lips at the compliment.
"Sis, sit by me!" Hakkaku yells from the kitchen.
"No way, sis is sittin' by me!" Ginta argues, setting the table. I laugh as Kouga rolls his eyes, shooting each of them a look.
"Idiots," he mutters, taking an assortment of boxes out of his bag and mine. "She likes the seat by the window, to my right." I look up in surprise as I hadn't even known I had a preferred seat, but hearing him tell them, I realise he's right. When we aren't sitting on the couch, I do tend to gravitate towards that seat. Even from my very first night, I had sat there. "You two can fight over who sits on her other side and who goes across from her." He points a knife at the two of them before they have the chance to move. "You break anything this time and you'll do more than just pay for a replacement," he warns. I feel my eyebrows lower in thought. How many things have they broken in here, I can't help by wonder. With the boys arguing, I help Kouga finish unboxing our takeout in the kitchen. "Sorry bout them," he apologises, "they're a little excited." I look over to find Hakkaku demanding another round of rock, paper, scissors while Ginta crosses his arms over his chest, looking incredibly smug, and smile.
"They're perfect." Kouga snorts and shrugs his shoulders.
"They're animals," he counters, taking two plates to the table. Before I can grab the other two, he shakes his head and steps behind me. "Hey!" His two seconds in command silence immediately upon hearing their alpha's yell. "Get your own plates, Kagome ain't your waitress." I look up at him in shock but, before I can yell at him, Ginta and Hakkaku cross the room and grab their plates.
"I wouldn't have minded," I assure them, sitting down in the seat Kouga pulls out for me.
"It's not your job, sis," Ginta states, smirking at Hakkaku as he sits down to my right.
"We're more than capable of handling a couple of plates," Hakkaku promises with a glare at his best friend. "Besides, we should be serving you!" I look at him in confusion.
"Yeah, we haven't seen you in five hundred years!" Ginta yells, taking a bite of his slightly cooked meat. I try not to look at the other two plates. "We'll have to throw a proper party at some point to celebrate." I chuckle at their excitement and assure them that's not necessary.
"So, how have you guys acclimated to my time? You're adjusted alright?" I ask, wanting more than anything to know what they had been up to in all that time, but not trying to bombard them with questions.
"It was really weird at first but I think it helped that we were around for it to gradually change," Ginta admits.
"Yeah, if we had come through the well like you did, I think we'd be in a lot more trouble," Hakkaku laughs. "I remember the first time we got phones in the house, Kouga just about ripped it out of the wall first time it rang!" The three of us laugh as Kouga narrows his eyes at the other wolf demon.
"Oh my god, or the first time we got a computer?" My eyes widen at the idea of them using such modern technology. Of course, I knew he was able to now, but I hadn't seen it or thought of their first encounters with things I had taken for granted. "We went through three before we realised turning it off and back on again fixed just about every problem."
"How did you guys afford three new computers?" I ask, remembering how much they had cost back then, Surely they only cost more now.
"We've been able to keep a decent savings over the years," Kouga explains, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "There are a couple of banks set up by demons that take into account our longer lifespan. No switching banks or setting up new accounts every other generation to keep up appearances." That makes sense.
"Oh, did you tell her about you almost preventing World War II?" My head whips around to stare at Kouga in shock.
"I'm sorry, you what?" I'm unable to keep the disbelief from my voice. Kouga just rolls his eyes and takes a drink of his soda.
"I ran into this scrawny German kid, little younger than you, with a bad attitude, and I mean nasty kid. Coulda put InuYasha to shame I bet. Almost took him out right then, but wasn't trying to get thrown out of another country." My eyes widen at the idea of him being thrown out of any country. "So, I let him live. How was I supposed to know he'd end up being who he was?"
"One could say Kouga actually helped cause that war," Ginta teases as Kouga groans, resting his head in his hand. The night continues on in a similar manner, everyone taking turns sharing stories about the last five hundred years, each trying to outdo the other, even after the yelling started. I can't remember the last time I had laughed this much. When we start cleaning up, I hear someone whisper about the anniversary meetup.
"When is that?" The boys all look at me in confusion as I walk into the kitchen, dishes in hand. "The anniversary," I elaborate. Kouga gives Hakkaku a look before turning much softer eyes on me.
"Tomorrow night," he sighs. In two days it would have been seven years with him if I hadn't managed to find Kouga. I feel a shiver race down my spine and close my eyes against the onslaught of memories. "I don't have to go." I open my eyes, looking at him in disbelief.
"Of course you do, everyone will be waiting." He sighs again, positively glaring at Ginta and Hakkaku.
"Yeah, well, maybe that's for the best."
"If you're worried about me being alone, I have the wolves and there are still a few books I need to read, and I think a movie I had wanted to see coming on at eleven." I cross my arms over my chest and lean against the counter, not sure why he seems so against going. He scratches the back of his neck, looking around the room.
"That's not the only thing I'm concerned about," he admits. My eyebrows lower as I try to figure out what exactly could be the problem when Ginta not so subtly sniffs the air around him and my eyes widen in realisation.
"They would… smell me." Kouga nods his head.
"Still haven't quite figured out how I'm supposed to tell 'em." There's silence for several minutes as everyone becomes lost in their own thoughts.
"Tell them what you told Ginta and Hakkaku at work," I speak so suddenly that all three demons jump before looking at me in confusion. "If you're worried about someone listening in, keep up the dog story. Naraku doesn't have an animal's sense of smell, he won't be able to tell you've been around me, for all he would know you actually did take in an abused dog." I can tell by their expressions that Ginta and Hakkaku at least think it's a decent idea. Kouga doesn't look completely sold on it though.
"I'm a bit more concerned about some people trying to haul ass up here, people that wouldn't normally be making house calls." Biting my lip, I realise he must be talking about InuYasha.
"He might if he thought you were bluffing. We all know you weren't exactly quiet about your distaste for dogs back then, it wouldn't be too difficult to believe he'd have a hard time believing you intentionally took one in. I assume the others visit at least once in a while?" Kouga shrugs, seemingly considering my idea.
"Not the Ice Pop, but you two weren't exactly close. Your fox comes by every now and again, usually whenever he's in town." My heart swells at the idea of Shippou still being around and keeping a relationship with those we all knew. "Could work." He glances behind him at the clock on the stove and pushes off the counter towards the other two demons. "Alright, time for you two to skedaddle. We still have work tomorrow and I'm not accepting you being tired from being here too late as an excuse." Ginta and Hakkaku give me another hug, each, before they head out.
"It was really great to see you again, sis." Hakkaku cradles the back of my head as he takes in a deeper breath, inhaling my scent. "Hope we get to see ya again soon."
"Thanks for having us, sis," Ginta whispers as he squeezes my shoulder. I wave at them from the doorway and watch as their car disappears down the mountain. When I turn back around, I find Kouga washing the dishes looking deep in thought.
"Let me help," I offer, crossing the room.
"I got it, go sit down." I roll my eyes and grab a dishtowel.
"I've been sitting for hours, I can handle drying a few dishes." I smile up at him as he rolls his eyes. After a few minutes, the tension in the room is too much. "I'm not saying I'm ready for everyone to come waltzing in tomorrow," I explain, noticing the muscles in his shoulders tense up. "But they're going to find out eventually. I can't imagine it'd be easy to wash my scent off after a month of living together." He breathes out a laugh, the hint of a smirk playing at his lips. Better than nothing. "Maybe emphasise how skittish your newly adopted pup is and promise to call when she's ready? Something about her... needing time to adjust?" Kouga remains silent for several more minutes and I start to worry I had ruined the friendship we had been rebuilding.
"You sure you'll be alright until I get back?" I smile a bit at the concern in his voice.
"If you're that worried, you can tell them you can't leave the new dog alone for too long or she destroys everything." This time I'm rewarded with a full out laugh. I jump a little at the suddenness of it but smile as he shakes his head.
"That a threat?" He asks, the teasing edge returning to his voice.
"It can be if it needs to be." He shakes his head again with a smile on his face.
"Definitely no need." He chuckles before looking pensive again. "I won't be out late," he promises. "Just long enough to go through the normal motions. Keep any watchers unsuspecting." I nod my head, placing the last dish in its cabinet.
"I'm not worried about it. If I can't sleep, I have plenty of other things to occupy me until you get back." I smile up at him, only flinching slightly when he wraps me in a gentle hug, hunching down to rest his chin on the top of my head. I grab his shirt in both hands, inhaling the smell of his cologne and the woodsy scent that's always underneath it.
"Come on." He backs away but leaves a hand resting on my lower back as he guides me out of the kitchen. "It's late, let's get you ready for bed." I nod my head, letting him lead me to the bedroom, and watch as he gets his change of clothes and takes them to the bathroom to change. My heart twinges a bit in guilt. I change quickly, working on a way to get him to switch places with me.