Hidan and Dimitri had come back inside from throwing the baseball.
"Hidan, I watched you throw the whole time you were down there with him….you suck ass! Not only are you a sucky ball thrower, but the fact that you INSIST on chanting religious chants before you throw it back to the kid? God! You are such an idiot!" Kakuzu argued with Hidan.
"Shut up Kakuzu! You can't talk like that in front of an 11 year old, really!" Hidan yelled. Kakuzu gave him the 'whatever' eye roll and walked off. "Hey, Dimitri seriously, do you like to play cards?" Hidan asked. Once again, he had found the perfect way to entertain the boy.
Deidara regained composure and decided to do what was best. "Well, Helena, it all starts with…oh!" Itachi slapped Deidara in the head.
"You moron! You can't tell a seven year old girl where babies come from! What are you fucking crazy?" Deidara gasped and covered the seven year old's ears.
"Itachi! You stupid ass you can't say fuck in front of her, yeah!" Deidara snapped at him.
"I don't see why not, you're going to tell her how to fuck!" Itachi argued.
"No, I'm not, yeah! I'm not going to tell her anything graphic, yeah. Itachi, go get me some ribbon!' Deidara demanded now that he had braided on side of her hair. All those times Deidara and Dana spent playing with each other's hair had finally paid off. Itachi glared and went off to get some ribbon.
"Are you going to tell me Deidara? Where do they come from?" Helena asked calmly. Deidara took a deep breath.
" Babies come from mommies, yeah." Deidara decided to start simply. Meanwhile, out at the card game.
"I like playing cards with Kisame, he's cool!" Dimitri said. Kisame truly felt that he was going to tear up because the kid thought he was cool. Chef Sasori was almost finished with his macaroni; he was slicing up the hotdogs into non-chokable pieces to stir in the macaroni when it happened….
"Oh shit! You stupid fucking piece of shit knife! Damn it! What the…oh hell!" Sasori had let the knife slip and had sliced the top of his finger…Dimitri had never heard those words before….he would have some questions of his own now. Which returns us to that other question…
"Thanks Itachi." Deidara took the ribbon from Itachi and tied it in Helena's hair. He began to work on the other side of her hair.
"I know that babies come from mommies, I came from my mommy's tummy and so did my brother, but how do babies get in there?" Itachi started to freak out, but Deidara was surprisingly calm.
"It's really quite simple, yeah. To have a baby you need a mommy and a daddy."
"Why does there have to be a mommy and a daddy?" Innocent Helena asked. Itachi was going to escape this conversation at this point but Deidara reached out and grabbed his arm yanking him back.
"Because mommies have something special and daddies have something special and you need both to have a baby, yeah." Deidara explained to her.
"Oh, okay….like what?" she asked. Itachi put his face in his hands. Back in the living room where the card game was going on….
"Hey Sasori, are you upset of something?" Dimitri asked.
"No, no…I'm….fine….just had an accident. I'm sorry you had to hear that Dimitri." The boy looked a little confused.
"Hear what? Did you say something bad?"
"Man, 'the leader and his wife must have a really non-dysfunctional home." Zetsu whispered to Tobi.
"Um….just forget about it Dimitri, here you want some macaroni and hotdogs?" Sasori asked pulling a plate down from the cabinet. Thank goodness that incident was diverted.
"You know I don't understand why you're telling her this anyway! Isn't that her mother or father's job to have that talk with her? Itachi argued.
"Because Itachi, if I'm honest with her now, she'll come back to me when she's 16 and brokenhearted and I'll have to have the 'some boys are heartbreakers' talk with her, yeah." Itachi didn't say anything, but he kind of looked like he was getting ready to cry, must have been a bad reaction to his newly increased rage pill dosage.