She swallowed and found her voice "Uncle John?"

"Hello Isabel" John Winchester said, emerging fully from the shadows.

She watched him in silence for a moment, as if to reassure herself that the uncle truly was standing in the same room as her. A lamp was turned on, and Isabel didn't have to look Missouri's way to know the psychic was responsible for the soft light now illuminating the room. Yep, she thought to herself, it was John Winchester alright! Looking older, rougher, and jaded, but immediately familiar and recognizable.

"This is not a good time for my meds to start wearing off" She said vacantly, still glued to her spot.

"I know this is a shock for you" He started casually.

"A shock? For me?" She asked incredulously, and just like that her shock at seeing her uncle was replaced by impulsiveness "Never mind what this is for me. It's going to be a bigger shock for Sam and Dean. My God John, where have you been?"

She reached for her handbag and fished for her phone, quickly scrolling down to Dean's contact number, but John swiftly stepped forward and snatched it away from her. Too surprised at the sudden movement she just stared at him questioningly.

"They can't know I'm here" He said gently to her, but she noticed he didn't give her back the phone.

"Your sons have been all over the country looking for you! They are worried sick!" She hissed in frustration. She couldn't believe this "You don't get to make demands here, John"

"Isabel, it's more complicated than you think" He said sternly "More complicated than they even realize"

She looked at him in silence for a moment, her head swimming with questions and a million and one emotions. She took a deep breath and decided to start again.

"What are you doing here, John?" She asked her uncle with forced calm.

"I got a message from Dean earlier today, saying he and Sam were here in Lawrence. He also mentioned you were with them" He said glancing briefly towards Missouri before looking at Isabel solemnly "I came to talk to you"

Her eyes widened in surprise "Talk to me?"

"Isabel, please sit down" He said gently, though his voice was deep and grave. It was the same tone her parents had used when they sat her down and told her that Fluffy had gone to doggy heaven. He moved away from her to sit on one of Missouri's armchairs.

She sat on the couch opposite him, while Missouri sat next to her and the whole scene reminded her of earlier that day. Oh, how she wished Sam and Dean were here with her now! John and Missouri kept looking from each other then back to her and it was making her uneasy. Like they knew something she didn't, which she figured was probably the case.

"What's going on?" She asked finally, with a hint of apprehension, looking from her uncle to the psychic.

"I heard about what happened" John started "I'm sorry"

"Sorry about what exactly, John?" She asked bitterly, knowing damn well he hadn't come to her after eight years to apologize and exchange pleasantries. It pissed her off that he thought she would go along with it too. What was she supposed to say? That's OK John, it wasn't your fault? Like hell she was! "Help me out here. You could be sorry about so many things! If you're going to start apologizing to me, I'm afraid you'll have to be a little more specific"

He looked at her tiredly, but resigned. As much as he didn't need this lip from her, she was hurting, and he knew that. He also knew that a big part of her bitterness was his fault and he kind of deserved it. Problem was, he though worriedly, he wasn't sure how to go about this. 'Approach with care' his brain advised emphatically.

"Missouri told me what happened in Illinois last month" John said tentatively as he studied his niece "How are you doing sweetheart?"

"You don't get to call me sweetheart either" She said coldly "Ever"

He nodded in consent "How are you Isabel?"

"I'm peachy" She said sarcastically as she inwardly begged he emotions to stand back "Did she tell you about anything else that happened to me in the last eight years? I hope she told you about the two delightful years I spent in foster care, 'cause let me tell you John, nothing but good times there!"

"You have every reason to be upset" He continued patiently, though she wasn't making this any easier for him.

"Do I really? Upset? That's a rather modest choice of word for what I'm feeling right now" She snapped tartly before taking a second to regain her composure "You know what, John? I don't want to talk about it"

He sighed loudly and decided to let it go. He couldn't blame her for not wanting to talk about it, least of all with him. Knowing how angry she'd been at all three Winchesters, for a moment he wondered how his sons had managed to win her over and get her to trust them again, before shaking the thought from his head. It was too late for him to make amends with her, and in any case, that's not what he'd come here to do.

"Listen, Isabel, about what happened eight years ago…" He started again.

She shook her head "No John. I don't want to talk about that either. It's over, it happened"

"You need to hear it Isabel" He continues sternly.

"Nothing you or I say right now can change things" She said heatedly "Nothing will change the fact that you turned your back on me when I needed you"

"Do you want to know why I really couldn't let you come live with us?"

She took a deep breath and gathered herself for the explanation. She'd wanted to have this conversation ever since the child welfare officer told her that her uncle, John Winchester, had declined their request to secure her guardianship. He had broken her heart and taken her only remaining family from her at a time when she was already grieving for her parents, and now here she was, about to find out why. Suddenly, she lost all her courage and she had the overwhelming desire to run out the door and not come back.

"Because you didn't want your life for me" She offered weakly instead, quoting Sam "It wasn't safe?"

"Not just that Isabel" He sighed, shaking his head sadly "When your parents died and I was asked if I could take you in, I really did consider it seriously. I wanted to" He looked at Missouri "I came to see Missouri about it, but she told me I shouldn't"

"She told you" Isabel repeated in disbelief as she looked accusingly at Missouri before returning to John "And you listened to her? I'm your family!"

"Listen, child" Missouri started calmly placing a comforting hand on her arm.

But it wasn't what Isabel needed at that moment. She shrugged it away instantly, looking at the woman next to her, refusing to believe that she had been the reason for her heartache. A complete stranger!

"Don't call me child!" She yelled angrily "You've been in my mind and you know what I've been through. Don't call me child"

"Isabel" The psychic pleaded again.

"And how dare you interfere! Why would you say that to John? What would you know?" Her eyes were watering now, at the unfairness of it all. She hadn't felt this betrayed in so long. Out of spite, she wouldn't let those tears fall "It wasn't your place" She finished faintly.

"I saw something Isabel" Missouri continued gently "The demon"

"You mean…the thing that killed Aunt Mary?" Isabel asked, her interest piqued at the mention of the demon her uncle and cousins had been searching for and hunting, for over two decades. She felt hatred for it, hatred for a demon that hadn't come anywhere near her but had still managed to turn her life upside down.

"Missouri warned me that if I took you in…it would come after you" John said watching Isabel closely to gage her reaction "I couldn't do it Isabel. I couldn't take you in knowing that it would put you in that kind of danger"

"You didn't tell them, did you?" Isabel asked referring to Sam and Dean, her emotions simmering instead of boiling as she gradually found out more and more "You never told them why"

He shook his head "I didn't think they'd understand. I knew they'd fight me on it" He smiled briefly "especially Dean"

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked desperately. Things could have been so different if she'd know why.

"Because this way, I knew you'd end up hating me and... I needed that"

"You needed me to hate you?" She asked with a cringe, as if the words were bitter in her mouth "Well, congratulations John, on your remarkable success"

"I needed for you to be away from all of this, from my boys…" He explained as he leaned forward "…from Sam"

"Sam?" She asked confused as her patience gave out. What did Sam have to do with this? "For Christ's sake John, I don't speak cryptic so do me a favor and just spit everything out before I really lose it"

"I didn't know what the connection between the demon and my family was. I still don't. But now I know the connection is with Sam. I didn't know until his girlfriend died"

"Jessica" She whispered in realization. John knew about Jessica!

"After I found out, I knew I'd made the right decision by not taking you in" He said softly, begging her to understand his motives "But I'd never expected them to look for you. I never thought they would take you in. That you would join them"

Her heart started pounding again and a feeling of dread settled over her as she imagined where John was going with his little speech. She wanted to put this conversation on pause, but knew that whatever was coming was inevitable. She hated knowing she was about to hear something she didn't want to.

"I'm getting a feeling of where this is going" Isabel said slowly "Just… tell me why you're really here"

John and Missouri exchanged a significant look, before he turned to her again with a look of foreboding on his face, and she knew her intuition had been right.

"Isabel, I need you to let my boys go on without you" John said in a measured tone.

"What?" She whispered shakily, although she knew exactly what he was saying.

"You're in danger, honey" Missouri said, placing a hand on her thigh for reassurance "Being around them is not safe for you. Especially not now"

"Are you saying this thing is going to come after me if I stay with Sam and Dean?" She asked horrified. This was getting worse by the minute.

"Yes" Missouri said sadly "That's what I'm saying"

Isabel turned to John, pleadingly. Pleading for what, she didn't know. Maybe for her uncle to burst out in laughter and tell her this was just a joke. A horrible, horrible prank. But she knew her uncle. He was no prankster.

"But I can't leave them now" She said, swallowing as her voice broke "Not after everything that's happened in the last month"

"That's exactly why you need to leave them" John said, pleading to her "Isabel, my boys love you. I never anticipated how close you'd three become. They'll do anything to keep you safe, and if something were to happen to you…you're a weakness"

"I'm a what? " She asked wounded.

"You know why I left my boys Isabel?" He asked her. She shook her head "because they are my weakness. I'm hunting this demon, and I'm getting closer. I love my boys more than anything in this world and that is my weakness. I can't focus clearly with them around me and the demon knows that. Do you understand?"

She nodded "You're not really worried about what might happen to me, but rather what might happen to them if I'm around" She offered cynically.

"I'm asking you Isabel" He said grabbing her hand "No, I'm begging you…please let them go. I don't want to see any of you get hurt. I don't want them to lose you too. The best solution here is for you to stay away from them, for their safety and for yours. Please"

"They'll never let me go home alone" She said, shocked with herself that she was seriously considering this.

"How would you like to stay with me?" Missouri asked "Here in Kansas"

Isabel looked at Missouri as she took everything that had been said in. She found it hard to be angry at John after what he'd said. Even thought the events of eight years ago would not be erased with one conversation, she pushed the past to the back of her mind and focused on the here and now. She believed Missouri and John. They wouldn't tell her she was in danger if she wasn't. And for John to come out of 'hiding' to talk to her, of all people, meant that it had to be serious, and now she was a bit scared.

She'd loved reconnecting and bonding with her cousins. Even though she'd been through a horrific experience she wouldn't mind forgetting about, it was hard not torecognize that it had at least reunited her with her estranged family. She hadn't even realized how much she'd missed them, and how much she still loved them. And now she saw where her uncle was coming from, and exactly how he felt. He hadn't wanted to leave his sons either, but had to make a difficult choice, just like she did now. She didn't want to put Sam and Dean's life in danger anymore than she wanted them to grieve for her if John and Missouri were right about the future.

"They won't like it" Isabel said at last.

"No, they won't" John said, agreeing with her "I can't make you do this Isabel and I know it's a hard decision, but please, put your hatred of me aside, and think of them"

"You think I would put their lives in danger just to spite you? You give yourself a lot of credit" She said as sarcasm got the better of her again. She closed her eyes with a sigh and told herself to act like an adult "and I don't hate you, OK?"

When she opened her eyes he was smiling at her, he raised his hand and caressed her cheek affectionately, holding her chin with his thumb and index finger.

"You look just like your mother" He said tenderly.

"And Mary" She said.

"And Mary" He nodded "I'm sorry about what happened, Isabel. All of it"

"It's in the past" she shrugged. He lowered his hand and watched as she struggled to get her emotions in control "So, what do you suggest I tell them?"

XXXX

AN: This isn't going to go down well with the boys, is it? Please R&R. Have a good weekend everyone! Toodles, AT