Here is the next chapter.I'm really thinking of doing a prequel, sequel or just one-shots and making this a series of sorts once I finish this story.
"Olivia, I got your message," Dr. Phillips said as the brunette answered her phone that next morning. "What's going on?" She asked.
She's acting this way because she feels the same way she did when I found her," she said and Susan rubbed her chin thoughtfully and leaned back in her chair, righting something in Amanda's file.
"Ok," she said. "I thought it may be a possibility but I wasn't sure."
"Mentally how is she?" Susan asked and the brunette let out a sigh. "She's the way she was when I found her." "She will not let me out of her sight," she said and Susan sighed.
"I was afraid of that," she said. "So I guess there's no chance of you going to work?" "I honestly don't know," she said.
"I mean I could try to get Alex to-" "Hey, sweetheart," she cooed and Susan smiled at the brunette's gentle voice as it floated through the phone, knowing it put her patient at ease.
"I could try to see if Alex could stay with her," she started but Susan nearly dropped the phone at the scream she heard from her patient.
"Liv." "Liv no leave Amanda," she wailed and attempted to chew the sleeve of the brunette's old hoodie, but then her autism took over and she began having a meltdown.
"Shit, hold on, I'm putting you on speaker." "She's hurting herself," she said. "Meltdown?" Susan asked.
"Yes and it's a bad one." "She's trying to-" "Amanda, no hitting," Olivia said as she placed a pillow behind her head and winced as another shriek filled the room.
"Sweetheart, I'm not leaving you," she said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong," she whispered.
"Scared, only want you," she cried wrapping her arms around her boss.
"What are you scared of, Amanda?" Susan inquired gently.
"Don't wanna be taken again," she sobbed and Olivia just frowned before glancing at the calendar.
"The 2 year mark of her abduction is coming up," she realized and Susan nodded in understanding. .
"That's what has caused this," she said. "What do I do?" Olivia asked helplessly and Susan sighed through the phone.
"Just be there for her." "You're the only one who can get through to her right now," she said and the brunette just stayed silent.
"Ok, Susan," she said, hugging Amanda gently and smiling when Amanda got her toy and curled up in her lap under a blanket. "Just relax, sweetie," she whispered as the blonde suddenly regressed and her little side took over completely as she began chewing on the toy once more, blinking at Olivia every now and then.
"Susan?" "She regressed," Olivia said and she nodded even though Olivia couldn't see her.
"I thought that may happen." "This is something you're familiar with," she said. "Yeah." "I'll keep you updated on things and I'll bring her to see you tomorrow," she said.
"Yes, Olivia please do, no matter what state she's in," Susan said. "I'll see you at 10." She said before they disconnected.
"You doing ok, sweetheart?" Olivia said gently when she heard a small whine. Looking down she saw the toy had slipped from the blonde's mouth, which is what caused her to be upset momentarily.
"Here, baby," she said and she clumsily returned the chew to her mouth, content once more as her biting and chewing resumed and the brunette did her best to fight back tears at the tole this last week had taken on her friend.
"Oh, Amanda, I'm so sorry," she whispered softly, knowing with the date of her abduction approaching she would more than likely be all over the place with her emotions, but Olivia was prepared to handle whatever happened.
"You're such a good girl, yes you are," Olivia cooed gently the next morning as she walked towards Amanda's therapist's office, the blonde in her arms and she babbled happily at her and the brunette had to do her best not to cry. She knew this was Amanda's way of coping but she missed her detective. Seeing this behavior off and on for the last 9 years though, she had eventually learned to just go with it.
"I see she's still regressed," Susan said as the brunette sat down on her couch, Amanda in her lap, chew in her mouth and she nodded.
"Yeah." "She's happy though so..." she started but then stopped and Susan gave them a look.
"Amanda, baby, do you know who this is?" Her boss asked gently and the blonde stared for a few moments before letting out a shriek, chew falling from her mouth.
"Baby, do you know who that is?" Liv tried again and this time she slid from Olivia's lap and crawled around the desk until she was in front of her therapist's chair.
"Hey, sweetie," Susan spoke soothingly to her and Amanda just smiled that innocent smile and finally Olivia allowed herself to cry.
"It's ok, Olivia," she said softly. "Amanda will come out of this," Susan assured, but Olivia couldn't be sure, not this time.
1 month later
Olivia looked up from her paperwork at the giggles that filled her office and smiled sadly. It had been a month, and Amanda was still regressed.
Currently Fin was on the floor with her and she shrieked in delight every time the older man made a face at her. "What are you two doing over there?" Olivia asked.
"Do I need to put you in time out?" She said and smiled when Amanda burst into giggles once more, even though Olivia and Fin knew she didn't totally understand what the brunette had said and he let out a chuckle.
"I need to get back to work," he said finally but was stopped by a cry and looking down he saw Amanda, gripping his pant leg, tears running down her face.
"Hey, baby girl, I have to get back to work now," he whispered but she just cried harder and Olivia rose from her desk, walked over and knelt down next to them.
"Hey, my love, come here, come to Liv," she whispered holding out her arms.
"Fin has to get back to work now, but we will see him later," she cooed and carefully lifted Amanda into her lap before placing the chew in her mouth, making her calm immediately and the brunette wondered if she would be doing anymore work today herself.
Arriving home that evening Olivia entered the apartment and placed the blonde on the couch before kneeling down in front of her. "Amanda, sweetheart, I want you to listen to me," she whispered. "I know you're scared, and you feel safe how you are right now, but I miss you."
"I miss my strong, smart, courageous, stubborn, passionate and hardheaded detective. "Sweetheart, please come back to me," she said and sighed sadly as a loan tear made its way down her cheek.
"It's ok, baby, come here," she said and sighed at the weight of her detective in her arms, needing to hold her as much as Amanda needed to be held.
"Come in Olivia," Susan said 2 days later as she guided the brunette into her office. "How's she doing?" She asked, motioning to the blonde in the brunette's lap sucking happily on a pacifier and Olivia sighed. "No change," she whispered as tears welled up in her chocolate eyes.
"I don't know what to do, Susan," she said, breaking into sobs and at this Amanda gently reached up and softly touched Olivia's cheeks, clumsily wiping away her protectors tears, making Olivia shed more tears in response to her sweet gesture.
"I'm ok, my love," she whispered and composed herself but Amanda just looked at her. "I know you miss her, Olivia," Susan said softly.
"It's totally understandable," she continued and the brunette leaned back into the couch, bringing the blonde to lean against her chest.
"She's still with you though," she said after a few minutes. "Mentally she may not be the person you remember, but she's right there," she said soothingly and Olivia just held the blonde closer, knowing she was right, but missing her detective.
"I don't know if she will ever come out of this," Olivia said quietly and Susan sighed, her heart breaking for the two. "I can't tell you that, Olivia," she said softly.
"She feels safe." "I know." "I just wished she felt safe as an adult, in the mental sense," the brunette whispered and Susan gave her an understanding look.
"Right now, she feels safe." "This was a time before everything happened and she trusts you to take care of her now," she explained and Olivia nodded, glancing down and seeing Amanda still with the pacifier in her mouth and one hand gripping her jacket.
"She did this when I found her," Olivia said and Susan thought that over for a moment before responding. "I believe she will come out of this soon," she said.
"She's doing something she did when she was found which is huge," she continued and Olivia smiled slightly as the blonde suddenly began babbling at her.
"Thank you, Susan," she said and the therapist just nodded and smiled. "Come on, my love, let's go home," she said.
"Amanda, sweetheart, I have to drive now," Olivia whispered and sighed at the shriek she received. Once they had arrived at the car her blonde charge had become very upset when the brunette had tried to put her in her seat, not wanting to leave the safety of her arms. "Hey, shh, I'll hold you as soon as we get home," she assured, buckling her in and her heart nearly broke as Amanda reached for her as sobs continued to burst forth. "No go, no go, no go," she repeated and the brunette knelt down next to the open door and began speaking softly.
"Honey, I'm not leaving you." "Remember when we came here and I had to sit in that seat up there?" She asked, not really sure she understood but she could tell she was listening so she continued.
"Well I have to do that again until we either get home or to the station," she said and Amanda gave a little sniffle but she finally let go of her and she sighed in relief, closing the door and climbing into the driver's seat. "Baby, I'm right here," Olivia said and Amanda began to slowly relax once she saw that Olivia was in fact, in the car with her.
Pulling into the station parking lot Olivia was surprised to see Alex's and Kim's cars. Walking to the back door she opened it and lifted Amanda from the car and when the blonde saw her she immediately brightened up, smiling happily. "I know, I know, you don't like being in the car," she cooed, grinning as her detective clumsily gripped her jacket with one small hand, the regression making it a bit more difficult and she whined when her fingers wouldn't completely grasp the material in her fist.
"Shhh, you're fine," Olivia said, pressing a kiss to her head as she strode with purpose towards the building but Amanda needed something to hold on to and let out a shriek when her fingers once again refused to grip her boss's jacket.
Taking a seat on a bench Olivia shifted Amanda to look at her. "Honey, what's wrong?" She whispered, frowning when after another attempt to grip her jacket the blonde began crying hysterically.
"Hey hey, here, sweetie," she said as she carefully guided Amanda's hand back to the part of her jacket she wanted to hold before helping her to hold it. "There you go," she whispered watching in amazement as her detective calmed immediately, the grip tightening now that she was holding the jacket.
"We have to go in here for a few minutes, but then we can go home," she said and the blonde cuddled closer in response.
"Alex, Kim, what are you guys doing here?" Olivia asked as she saw them waiting for her in her office. "We wanted to check on Amanda," Kim said, kneeling down and stroking her sister's hair. "She's still regressed," Olivia said and Kim did her best to fight back tears. "What can we do, Liv?" Alex whispered and Olivia just shrugged.
"We have to hope she will come out of this," she answered quietly, smiling when Amanda began letting go and gripping her jacket, giggling happily each time her fingers gripped the soft material.
"Ok, you, it's time for a nap," Olivia said after a few minutes and Amanda crawled into her lap, beginning to chew on her blanket and Olivia knew it was the fabric but she gently intervened. "No, sweetheart, have this," she said handing her her chew and she sighed in content.
"Better?" She said but her only response was her detective chewing more firmly on the toy, happy little sounds escaping her mouth from time to time.
1 week later
"Amanda grace, no mam," Olivia said gently but sturnly as she saw the blonde throw her bottle across the room, the tantrum taking an unexpected turn. "You stay right here," she said, placing her on the couch before picking up the bottle and walking into the kitchen.
Walking back into the living room she sat down on the sofa and she could see she wanted to be held.
Pulling her into her lap, she thought about how to best handle this. Taking a deep breath she began speaking gently.
"Sweetheart, I know you don't want me to leave you, but I have to go to work," she said and Amanda's lip began trembling. "You can't throw things though," she said firmly.
"That's a no no and we don'tdo that:" "Do you understand?" She asked, smiling when Amanda nodded. "That's my good girl," she said lovingly, beginning to rock her slowly in hopes it would get her to sleep.
"Get some sleep, sweetheart, I'm right here," she whispered and once she was asleep Olivia couldn't stop the tears that came pouring out, wondering how she was supposed to work and be away from Amanda at the same time and knowing the next few days wouldn't be easy, on either of them but especially not on Amanda.