A/N: Whee! I had fun with this chapter. One of the better tasks I had to work through. I hope you enjoy it, too. Oh, and if you don't know who the two people are toward the end, then for shame; go read HBP again ;)

Chapter Five

If I Only Had a Slayer

I, with all my Potions genius, managed to concoct something that eased Weasley's pain, if only a little. Unfortunately, my experiments yielded nothing in the way of slowing down the infection. What's more, the usual antidote for Dragon Pox not only didn't slow down the infection, but I believe it may have sped the process up.

Bollocks.

Weasley was now mainly surviving on Pain Potions, Dreamless Sleep Potions, and Calming Draughts. He had lost a severe amount of weight in the short amount of time that we had spent on the road. It was time to risk using the broom, and I did so with an extreme amount of caution. I had heard tell of an inn and pub in Transylvania, which we would be flying directly over in about a half an hour's time. I had my reservations about stopping at this particular pub, known as the Stoker's Den, but Weasley was tired and increasingly ill, and I was getting desperate, and make no mistake; admitting desperation is not something that Severus Snape does lightly. However, more than my pride was at stake here, and I knew that the Floo service was connected to Stoker's Den. Traveling by foot and broom was beginning to no longer be an option, and Flooing to St. Mungo's was a risk that I was willing to take.

Half an hour later, we landed outside Stoker's Den. I used a spell to shrink the broom and my potions kit and place them in a pocket of my robes. I then checked Weasley to make sure he was still alright, and then we made our way inside.

As I mentioned beforehand, Stoker's Den was in Transylvania, and, as such, had an unpleasant reputation for housing vampires. Which explains my trepidation. We stepped through the door and into a very dark and dank lobby. As I made my way to the front desk, most of the Stoker's Den's clientele were watching Weasley and I, eyes narrowed. To my horror, I realized that most of them had their eyes on Charlie Weasley, and I saw one of the more emaciated looking residents, with pale skin and dark brown hair, actually lick his lips.

Revolting creatures. I had half a mind to stop this rubbish right now and declare Weasley an all you can eat buffet, if you enjoy the taste of someone with Dragon Pox. However, that would most likely get us thrown out of the pub if there were any non-blood sucking clientele, for they would not want to risk getting infected.

Once Weasley and I got to the check-in counter, a pale woman with long, straight dark hair approached us. I was immediately reminded of Bellatrix Lestrange, which did nothing to relieve my growing unease.

"Vat vill it be?" she asked, in a thick, Romanian accent.

"Just a room, if you please," I answered, helping Weasley to keep himself upright.

The woman looked Weasley up and down. "Vould you like a drink first? It's on the house. Your friend... he looks like he could use one."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. Did this woman take me for daft? "No, thank you," I said, as politely as I could. Which, for me, was a great feat. "As I said, just a room would be fine. We need to rest. We will continue on our way tomorrow morning."

The woman regarded myself and Weasley again, before coming closer. I restrained myself from taking a few steps backward.

"Your friend," she said, throatily. "He reeks of death. Ve can help him."

I immediately felt all eyes turn toward myself and Weasley. I decided that there probably were no non-blood suckers at this inn, that we were the only ones, and that I had now placed myself and Weasley in even more danger. If I understood correctly, they meant to make Weasley one of them.

Over my dead-

Never mind.

I shook my head, and again said, still managing to be polite, "No, thank you."

I paid the woman and received my key. Weasley and I made it to the room without further incident. I laid Weasley in the bed and locked the door at once, and also added a Colloportus. The door made a satisfying squelching sound as it was sealed tight.

Vampires. What the bloody hell was I thinking? And to think that some of those moronic students actually thought I was one of them! As if I didn't hear the rumors. Please. It amazes me how students think that teachers are ignorant to these sorts of things.

I returned the Cleansweep and my potions kit to their original sizes and proceeded to dump my entire stock of garlic powder about every inch of the room. I also resigned to break the lone wooden chair that came with the room and make as many stakes as possible. Lumos solem would come in handy as well. If stakes and garlic were not enough to keep our would be predators out of the room, perhaps a good dose of sunlight would give them a hint that their... advances... were not welcome.

"They wanted to help me."

The noise startled me and I reflexively raised my wand before I realized that it was Weasley. He was still in the same position on the bed from before, but he was now awake and staring at me intently. His voice was hoarse from lack of use, and he sounded exhausted.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked.

He managed to raise his hand and point back toward the door. "Those people. They offered to help."

I scowled. "Believe me, Mr. Weasley, you do not want their help. Besides, I am helping you."

I thought for a moment, and then put a silencing charm on the door as well, before I smashed the chair to bits. Weasley stared at me.

"What are you doing?" he croaked.

I didn't answer. Instead, I took the pieces of wood, took a knife out of my kit, and sat down on the floor by the door, and proceeded to whittle stakes.

"You're going to tell me what your problem is, Snape," he said, trying to sit up.

Alarmed, I got up again and pushed him back down upon the mattress. Being so weak, the slightest touch sent him laying down again.

"My problem is that you seem to be doing everything in your power to make yourself worse. Now, tomorrow morning, we are Flooing to St. Mungo's. You will get the assistance you need. We have to stay here for the night, something that may prove to be difficult. I need your cooperation, considering that I have done nothing but ensure your survival over the last few days. I am risking my own arse here, and you would do well to not forget it."

Weasley scowled at me for a moment. "What's wrong with this inn?" He glanced over to the wood pile, and to the knife that was still in my hand. Comprehension dawned on him. "You're making stakes." He thought for a moment. "Let me guess... Transylvania?"

"You are very astute," I sneered and returned to my post by the door. "Now sleep."

Weasley remained quiet for a moment, before adding, tiredly, "Just as long as you don't go saving my life or anything."

I rolled my eyes. "Trust me, Mr. Weasley. I have no intention of initiating some sort of life-debt between us. I've already been subjected to one, and that was quite enough for one lifetime."

Weasley coughed. "You owed a life-debt to someone?" he choked out.

"Go to sleep."

"Who was it?"

Apparently, Weasley was having trouble understanding that he needed rest. Furthermore, he was asking a lot of irritating questions and reminding me of that infuriating Granger girl. I got up again, stalked over to my kit, and pulled out a potion.

"Perhaps you need another dose of Dreamless Sleep, Mr. Weasley?" I asked, menacingly.

Weasley did his own bit of scowling. I was almost impressed.

"Sleep. Now. Or I will assist you."

I once again returned to my position on the floor. Weasley shifted restlessly for only a few moments before becoming silent again. I observed him to make sure all was well. His chest was rising and failing, which meant he was breathing. I then returned to the task of carving so many stakes that they could arm every Auror in the Ministry. Once my artillery was complete, I placed a few inside my robes, and then the others in random places about the room, so that no matter where the beasts cornered us, there would be one in reach. I then sat back down on the floor, with my back against the door, and stood guard over my red-headed charge.

---------------

Surprisingly, we made it through the night without being attacked by rampaging blood-suckers.

Almost.

At about three in the morning, by my internal clock, I heard footsteps in the hall, followed by the creaking of floor boards. I stiffened, grabbing my wand in one hand and one of the stakes in another. I listened intently, but heard nothing. I began to wonder if I had dozed off and imagined the whole thing, but then came a scraping sound on our door. I quickly jumped to my feet, pointing my wand at the door and raising the stake high into the air. I removed the silencing charm on the door and shouted:

"Unless you'd like to see sunrise come a bit early, I suggest you move on!"

The scratching stopped momentarily, followed by a very long silence. I was about to let out the breath I'd been holding when-

CRASH!

Someone was trying to break through my Colloportus and into the room!

A string of curses flew from my lips, many of them not any that I had used since I was a student, and all of them having nothing to do with magic. And, believe it or not, this, not the incessant banging on the door, is what woke Weasley up.

"What are you swearing at?" he demanded, raising himself up.

"Lay back down!" I ordered. "I cannot have you working yourself up. You are in no condition to-"

CRASH!

"Someone's trying to break in!" Weasley exclaimed, his voice breaking.

"Thank you for that deduction, now shut up!"

There came another resounding crash, and this one shook the door. I was about to start armoring it with a number of very strong barrier spells when I heard more footsteps coming down the hall.

You have got to be joking.

"I believe there are more coming. I may need your assistance. No, no, stay in bed!" I snapped, setting the stake down and reaching into another pocket. I located Weasley's wand and threw it to him. "You can throw spells just as easily from over there."

There was one more crash, followed by a voice yelling, "Sanguini!"

No, not yelling. Reprimanding.

Perhaps not all the vampires wanted to do us harm. It seemed that one of them was coming to our rescue.

I was marveling at our good fortune when instead of a crashing sound there came a knock.

Ah. So, the other was telling their fellow off for trying to force entry. Now they were trying to be polite. How considerate of them.

"Desist your attempts to enter or you will regret it, I assure you," I shouted at the door. "You are not invited."

"Now look what you've done," the voice from earlier said. The next statement seemed to be directed at us: "My many apologies, friend."

"We are most definitely not friends," I snarled at the door. "Who are you?"

"Not a vampire, I assure you."

"Then why was your companion trying to break down my door?"

"Yes. Terribly sorry about that. That was, er, Sanguini. Don't worry, he's gone now. He really is a nice fellow, he just gets a little carried away sometimes. Forgets he's supposed to be living off animals."

"Who are you?" I asked again.

"Eldred Worple," the voiced answered.

"And why, Mr. Worple, are you traveling with a vampire? Furthermore, how are we supposed to believe that you are not one, when it is in a vampire's very nature to hunt, attack, and drink a human's blood, and the attempt to sire another of their kind?"

"Ah, yes. Well, perfectly good explanation for that, old chap. I say, are you sure you can't let me in so we can discuss this more comfortably?"

I narrowed my eyes. "No."

Worple sighed. "I was afraid you were going to say that."

"I am still awaiting an explanation," I said.

"Right! I'm an author, you see. Mainly do autobiographies, but I wanted to do something a bit adventuresome this time around, especially after the fiasco with that Gilderoy Lockhart fellow. You know, he stole that story for Voyages with Vampires from someone else?"

"I am... slightly aware of that, yes," I answered. Thinking of Lockhart still made my blood boil. I was sorely tempted to award a hundred points to Gryffindor after Ronald Weasley's wand backfired and wiped Lockhart's memory clean away. Of course, that would have meant awarding points to Gryffindor. Needless to say, it didn't happen.

"Well, I decided to have my own go at it! I am currently working on Blood Brothers: My Life Amongst the Vampires. I am using Sanguini as my main inspiration."

"Congratulations," I said, sarcastically.

"Anyway, I am terribly sorry for the mishap. Sanguini will be hearing it from me when I return to the room, not to worry."

"And how am I to be sure that there will be no more incidents?" I demanded.

"Not to worry, not to worry," Worple said again. "I'm well liked here, you know. I've told them not to bother you. As I said, Sanguini just gets-"

"A little carried away. Yes, you mentioned that. My friend is ill and needs to rest. Thank you for... clarifying things and providing assistance. Good night."

I replaced the silencing charm, added a few wards just for good measure, and made sure the Colloportus was still in place. There were only two more hours until sunrise. Hopefully, the incident with Worple and Sanguini would be the last.

A/N: Also, a note to my reviewers, please try to remember that this is all in good fun, and I didn't put my heart and soul into it or whatever. It was done for fun for a challenge. If you want to read something I sweat blood for, go read my baby "The History of Those We Thought We Knew". And review it, too ;)