Just as Kim had predicted, Amanda's mental state still hadn't changed, even after 2 weeks. Sighing sadly she glanced at Beth who was watching Olivia with her daughter. "What is it, mama? I can tell something's bothering you." Kim questioned gently, placing a comforting hand on her moms shoulder.
"I just... I just hate seeing her like that. I did this to her, and we both know it. It's a miracle Olivia hasn't thrown me out of here yet." Beth suddenly ranted, a humorless chuckle escaping her mouth and Kim glanced at her sister who was in Olivia's arms, calmly, and rather gently gripping Olivia's thick locks with one hand while the other held a teething ring in her mouth which she was biting and chewing on.
"Oh, no. You did not do this to her, mama." Kim disagreed adamantly and her mother just rolled her eyes, clearly not impressed. "Your father took her to see the man who kept her from Olivia for a year, and because of that, she's now the mental age of a baby." "Very true, but you didn't cause this, trust me." Kim said as Olivia approached them.
"Kim's right. This is not on you. You did the right thing, Beth." The brunette said softly, gently rubbing Amanda's back, letting her know she was still paying attention to her as she continued her conversation. "I may not have been directly responsible for this, but I am responsible for her childhood from hell." She said as she felt eyes on her and turning around to face the brunette, she saw blue eyes steadily holding her gaze.
"Hi there, baby. Do you know who I am?" Beth asked in just above a whisper, gently reaching out and Amanda surprisingly let go of Olivia and gripped her mother's hand.
"M-ma, ma. Ma, ma." The blonde babbled before letting out a whine, glancing between her mom and Olivia. "Oh, sweetie. I know you're confused, but we are right here, me, your mom and Kim." Olivia assured, beginning to rock slowly. "You react to us how ever you need to, baby. I won't be upset." Her mother assured the confused little one and Kim gently hugged her mom, knowing she needed the support right now.
"I'm coming. I'm coming." Olivia said a few hours later when the persistent nocking on her door continued, making Amanda giggle. "Was I being silly?" She cooed as she opened the door and saw a worried Alex on the other side. "Sorry, Liv, but I had to come check on her. Beth actually called." The attorney explained as she followed the brunette into the apartment, smiling as she saw her friend take a seat on the floor next to Amanda who was playing with blocks. "She feels so guilty, Liv. If I had any doubt about her changing for the better, I don't now." Alex said, shocked as a small hand placed hers on the blocks.
"Well, hi there, sweetie." The attorney said, pressing a kiss to Amanda's head before picking up a block and adding it to the structure the blonde was building. "I know. It wasn't her fault though. She didn't know where he was taking her." Olivia responded when Alex looked back to her, continuing their conversation.
"Yeah, I know. I told her that, but If I'm being honest I think this is about more than him taking her to the prison." Alex explained, voicing her thoughts on the subject and the brunette nodded. "I agree. I think she's truly beginning to see the consequences of her actions." Olivia said, glancing at her detective and just hoping she came back to her soon.
"Shhh, baby. It's ok. Liv's got you." Olivia spoke soothingly, gently rocking her detective in her arms as the blonde continued screaming.
She was truly worried, and had even considered calling Susan. Amanda had woken up screaming 30 minutes ago and had not calmed down since. Olivia was currently walking through the apartment, Amanda in her arms, as she attempted to calm her with words and touches.
"Mama, hurt." Amanda wailed and Olivia's heart broke. "Oh, sweetie. You're ok, I promise.
I'm here and you're safe." The brunette hushed, walking into her own bedroom and taking a seat on the bed, keeping Amanda in her lap.
"Honey, can you listen to me?" "Yes." Amanda choked out, clinging to the brunette's body, small sobs occasionally emitting from her trembling lips. "I know your mom hurt you, but she's not like that anymore. Do you remember earlier today?" The brunette questioned gently and Amanda nodded, staring in shock at her boss.
"What is it, honey?" Talk to me." Olivia encouraged.
"She was nice." The blonde said in just above a whisper, before going silent once more.
"I know, baby. She's trying to make up for what she did when you were younger." The brunette explained, smiling when Amanda wrapped herself around her, burying her face in her neck.
"She was nice. She was nice." The blonde repeated several times, a hand beginning to flap gently at her side.
"Yeah, baby. She was." The brunette confirmed. "Liv." Amanda whined, gripping the brunette's shirt, suddenly feeling frightened by everything going on, with her mom being nice and realizing, for the first time, where her dad took her.
"Daddy took me to see him." She said before suddenly bursting into hysterical sobs. "Took me to see him. Took me to see him." She said, attempting to hit.
"Did he touch you, sweetie?" Her boss asked, terrified of the answer. "Daddy let him. The guard didn't help, said it was ok." She wailed, wrapping her arms and legs around her boss's body.
"I'm here. It's ok, sweetheart.
"Shhh." She hushed, beginning to rub the blonde's trembling back and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, her worry increasing with how desperately her detective was clinging to her.
"He touched me. He touched me, Livy." She wailed once more, her sobs and wails becoming almost screams and the brunette did her best to remain in control of her own emotions, knowing Amanda needed her strength, compassion, love and most of all safety right now.
"Oh, honey, you need to relax. I promise I'm not leaving but you need to calm down, baby. Getting worked up like this isn't good for you.
Come on, sweetie. I promise I'll hold you the rest of the night if that's what you need, but you need to calm down for me." Olivia whispered, knowing they would be going to see Susan as soon as possible.
"P-please d-don't l-leave, Livy." Her detective cried hysterically, shifting closer even though that was impossible.
"Oh, baby, I'm not going anywhere. You're completely safe." She assured once again, pulling the covers over them, and Amanda snuggled deeper into her arms, only wanting one thing, Olivia to hold her and the brunette would do that whenever she needed her to.
"Baby, is there anything I can do?" She questioned after a few minutes and the blonde nodded into her neck but made no move to remove herself from her safe place.
"Mama." She whispered and Olivia tightened her arms around her, rocking slowly. "You want your mama?"
"Uh-huh. Only want you to touch me though." She said and her boss pressed a kiss to her hair.
"Ok, baby. I'm gonna need you to let me get my phone though." She explained, sighing when she felt Amanda's grip on her shirt tighten.
"Come on, honey, just for a second." She whispered, some how managing to get her phone and call Beth with Amanda still somewhat clinging to her.
30 minutes later, Olivia heard the apartment door open and close, signaling Beth had arrived and she nocked quietly on the door frame before entering the bedroom. "Olivia, I borrowed Kim's key and got here as soon as I could." She said, glancing worriedly at her daughter's boss. "She's realizing what happened, and where he took her." She explained and Beth's face flashed with anger.
"That son of a bitch. I mean, trust me, I know I was no mother of the year and I tried to take her from you, but how the hell could he do that?" She snapped and Olivia just sighed.
"Oh, it gets worse. He let him hug and touch her." The brunette revealed. "Oh, my baby." Beth gasped, walking towards the bed and attempting to comfort her but was stopped by Olivia.
"Um, Beth, she... She wants you, but I'm the only one she wants holding her right now." The brunette explained and the elder blonde nodded in understanding, taking a seat on the floor beside the side of the bed they were on.
"That's totally alright, Olivia. I'll just sit ere." She assured, but Olivia shook her head.
"Come sit on the other side. In no way will she let me put her down, so there's space up here." She said and Beth nodded before taking a seat next to them.
"Hey, baby. Your moms here." Liv whispered and Amanda looked at her before returning her head to Olivia's neck, sighing contentedly. "Hey, sweetie. I'm here." She whispered.
"Mama." She mumbled into Olivia's neck and both women smiled. "Yes, honey. I'm here." She confirmed, smiling as Olivia's gentle rocking lulled her daughter into a peaceful and hopefully dreamless sleep.
Once Amanda had fallen asleep, her mom looked at Olivia. "What do we do, Olivia?"
"I'm taking her to see Susan as soon as possible." "I texted her, actually." Beth said, showing the brunette the text exchange.
"She offered to meet me here but I wasn't sure if you needed that or not. She's actually got me seeing someone she knows." She revealed and Liv looked shocked, but not surprised.
"That's great, Beth." She said, knowing this news would thrill her detective immensely.
"Rough night?" Amanda's therapist questioned when she looked at the three of them the next day. "You could say that." The brunette muttered and Susan glanced at her, nodding sympathetically. "Hello, Amanda. How are you today?" She asked in as gentle of a tone as she could manage and the blonde shrugged before hiding her face in Olivia's shoulder and her mom gently rubbed her back, providing what little comfort she could. She knew she had made colossal mistakes, but she was just so grateful for this second chance.
Actually seeing her daughter with the brunette as well as her reaction to Jim taking her to the prison had flipped a switch in her and she was bound and determined to do what was right for her daughter.
"So, she's been having a hard time?" Susan asked as the four of them sat in her office and Olivia nodded, explaining the events from the previous night. "I see." She responded after listening and writing things in Amanda's chart. "Amanda, Olivia said you asked for your mom?" She asked her patient who was once again in the brunette's lap, feeling very clingy at the moment.
"You asked for your mom." "Uh-huh, only wanted Liv though." She answered quietly, making her therapist shoot a questioning look at her, silently wondering what she meant by that. "I was the only one she wanted holding her." The brunette explained and Susan nodded, this time turning her attention to Beth.
"And how did you feel about this?" She asked and the elder blonde took a deep breath. "It hurt, but honestly, I'm just glad to have this second chance. It's the least I deserve after everything I've done. I don't know when, but watching her with Olivia made me understand what she truly needs.
Then when Jim took her to the prison it really hit home." She started, glancing at Amanda who had begun shaking in Olivia's arms, her eyes wide with fear.
"Amanda, hey." Liv whispered, nodding to Beth and Susan to continue their conversation as she began calming Amanda down.
"Li-liv. P-please don't leave. I don't want to see him." She sobbed, her sobbing suddenly turning into screaming and Olivia looked at Beth and Susan.
"This is the way it started last night." She explained hurriedly before beginning to comfort and sooth.
"Shhh, baby. You won't have to ever see him again. Your mom was just telling Susan about it, I promise.
Come on, sweetheart, you need to relax, shhh." She hushed, continuing to rock her detective in her arms, Amanda now having curled into a small ball in her lap.
"Amanda, I need you to take a deep breath for me. Can you do that?" Susan spoke, attempting to help her patient and she nodded but her hysterical crying made that difficult and she began hyperventilating.
"Liv." She mouthed, a hand gripping the brunette's shirt as the other clutched her chest. "Hey honey. I need you to breathe." She instructed, placing a hand on Amanda's chest, frowning in concern when she felt how fast her heart was beating.
"Ca... can't breathe." She choked out, more tears falling from her blue eyes and Olivia did the only thing she could. Reaching down, she lifted both hers and Amanda's shirts slightly before sitting behind her detective, making sure they were skin on skin and sighed in relief when it immediately began having an effect.
"There you go, sweetie. Good girl, just relax." She whispered, looking at Beth and Susan to see there reactions.
"Wow." Beth said in utter amazement, a sad smile taking over her features and both Olivia and Susan knew why. "Amanda, are you alright?" Susan inquired gently and her patient nodded, turning around in Olivia's arms and hugging her.
"You won't ever have to see him again." She repeated quietly, looking right into Olivia's eyes and the brunette gently brushed her cheek with the back of her hand.
"That's right, honey." She confirmed.
"So, I'm gonna increase her appointments, just for a short time until she gets over this, which I have no doubt she will do and then we will return to once a week. I also suggest she take a few days off from work." Susan explained, andAmanda's wide, fearful eyes met Olivia's.
"Liv." She mouthed desperately, looking at her therapist who immediately saw the problem. "She... She-she can't." Amanda whispered, breathing picking up once again as she clutched the older woman's shirt, tears beginning to stream down her face.
"She can't. She can't." Amanda continued repeating, continuing to hyperventilate and Olivia immediately jumped into action, turning to Susan and mouthing, "She's saying I can't take off work, but I'll do whatever I need to." She said and Susan nodded, already knowing she would.
"Hey, honey. Let's calm down. I need you to take a deep breath for me." She instructed, rocking slightly and running her fingers through sweat soaked blonde locks.
"Y-you can't." She said, a whine escaping her trembling lips and Olivia's hold on her tightened.
"Yes she can, Amanda. She's gonna stay with you." Beth assured her daughter, hating to see her like this and glancing at Olivia who smiled, already planning on staying with her. "Your mom's right, honey. I'm not leaving you and I'm gonna stay with you." She whispered, and Amanda finally began to calm, secure in the notion that her boss wasn't leaving her.