Author's note:

First off I'd like to thank each and every one of you who reviewed. I've never had a response like this and it really is very much appreciated.
I'm still very unsure of this story and whether or not it is going to work so please bear with me on this and if at any point you think it's not working please let me know.

Thanks again.

Ashleigh x x x

--
Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,
This idle hour just wont pass.
I've never missed you this much, never thought I would,
Didn't think you'd feel so far away.

--

His words hit her like a tonne of bricks, knocking her out of the state she was in into a completely different one. Her initial feeling was somewhat indescribable, almost as though she'd been told she only had a week to live. Her mind raced for a plausible response but by the time she could come up with something she had changed to yet another feeling. This time she was happy; eager to see her long lost companion. Luka's eyes were piercing through her although he couldn't read what was going on. She had remained still, stunned for the better part of two minutes…even though it seemed like much longer. He watched her space out and for a while it looked like she was gone.

She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that wouldn't go away; a feeling at reminded her of who she was and where she was. A feeling that had her longing to run and never stop. What did he mean that Carter was back? Back at County? In Chicago? …and for how long? Her head was spinning; desperate for answers and maybe; just maybe a part of her was wanting to see him.

She slowly pieced herself back together; aware that Luka was now watching her intently.

"Are you ok?" He asked her.

She sighed as she found herself frantically looking around her.

"I uhh…I'm gonna go take a walk…I dunno; maybe down to the river…I uhh; you should get back. Umm…I'll, uhh, catch you around?" She stuttered; much like she always did when she was nervous.

Luka smiled at her and nodded his head.
"Yeah; ok"

She smiled back at him and walked off, out of the ambulance bay and round the corner.

---

It was the most serene place of the hospital, the only place anyone could go to get away from the madness, the storm. It was where he had gone as a med student, and even as a doctor, when everything went wrong or got too big for him to deal with. It was the only place to think without the fear of being criticized. She had done the same.

The routine cup of coffee was made all the more powerful when it was drunk on the rooftop. The Chicago skyline offered itself as the perfect canvas to lay all your burdens on.

Together they had shared many significant moments up there. He proposed up here and she practically laughed in his face. In many ways it had become tainted.

John Carter stood at the edge, his cup of coffee rested on the wall as he leaned over and watched the city pass him by. It was quiet, with only the distant traffic noise as his company. The dark rooftop posed a stark contrast to the lively, vibrant city that lay before him; everything about it had become alien to him.

His ears were filled with old familiar noises: sirens, the el and that old familiar noise of the heavy door opening and then slamming shut – reminding him that he was no longer alone.

"So the rumours are true" a quiet voice spoke from behind him. He took his attention away from the city and focused on the voice…a voice he had tried to forget.

"I had to come see for myself…"
The voice was soft, just like he had remembered it. In the instant she spoke every detail about her flooded back. He could see her so clearly as though she was right infront if him. A face he had long since seen was now in the front of his mind.

He could feel her eyes on him, he could picture them burning into his back; begging him to turn around. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, to acknowledge her being there. If he was to do that he'd have to see the one thing he knew he couldn't bare.

Instead she moved, edging her way closer to the wall he was stood at. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the wall as she turned to look at him.

"Hey" She smiled, offering him a cup of coffee.

He had to look at her now.

He took a deep breath and turned his head so he was facing her. She was beautiful, just how he had always remembered her. His eyes darted up and down her face, familiarising himself with the changes she had made. Her hair was different, she had gotten bangs and she was wearing her make-up a little differently. Her big brown eyes would never change; they always captivated him. He found himself staring at them and at her as she stared back. Both, in their own unique way were familiarising themselves with their long gone friend.

"Hey back" He finally spoke before allowing the silence of the rooftop to envelope them again.

"It's warm out, huh?" She sighed; drifting the conversation away from where it was bound to be heading.

He smiled, nodding his head before replying.

"I guess. It's a far cry from the Sudan though" He joked; rearing the conversation in. She laughed a little; forcing her attention onto the wall, the city – anywhere but him.

"I can only imagine"

She turned to face him and him to her. They watched one another, smiling at the faces they had almost forgotten.

They remained like this until it became uncomfortable – which didn't take long. Her eyes were full of questions as were his; he was all to eager to hear about her new life.

She was leaning onto the ledge in a way that almost hid her bump. It was more that likely this was intentional.

The silence was beginning to get unbearable. He was reaching inside himself to ask her about the baby; about Luka and her new life but part of him; a massive part of him; couldn't speak those words.

She sighed, readying herself to speak.
"So I hear the centres opening soon. That's great!"

"yeah…" He replied, running his hand through the back of his messy hair.

"…the official launch is tomorrow" He smiled.

She smiled back at him; genuinely happy,

"umm…" he cleared his throat. "…you're more than welcome to come…you…and Luka" He spoke that last part with caution.

She was startled; she hadn't expected their relationship to have been brought up so soon. She hadn't even expected him to have known already. She felt awkward, and almost subconsciously she found herself beginning to stand up right again; putting her pregnant belly on show.

He looked down at her; all of her and he felt a part of him ache. He felt as though one of his heart strings had been pulled on so hard it broke…and he didn't know why.

She was his; she hadn't been his for a long time and she'd never be his again. For a moment he felt bad, wondering if this was how she felt when she seen Kem.

Had she felt betrayed? A part of him did. He had moved on first. Leaving her behind and he didn't think to look back. If he had done he would have seen that she was still hurting; still feeling betrayed.

"Thanks John" she said softly.

"Have you seen him yet?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

He shook his head; looking sad.

"He'll be happy to see you" She said, again smiling at him.

He smiled back.

"I was planning on heading down to see everyone anyway…how's he doing?"

"he's good!" She replied quickly.

"He's uhh…he's chief attending now…" She continued.

"Yeah, Pratt told me in Darfur. He filled me in on a lot actually." He said; drifting his eyes down to her bump.

She watched him look at her; feeling his eyes on her stomach. She cleared her throat; feeling as though she needed to say something, anything; maybe even deal him the courtesy of hearing it from her as well.

Did she even owe him that? Technically she didn't. He never told her about his baby, she found out with a sonogram picture waved in front of her face; on the first day she's seem him since he disappeared back to Africa. Maybe she was being childish and bitter, clinging onto something that was so in the past. Maybe it was time to let that go; time to let him go…

Suddenly her thought train was cut short when she found feel her pager going off in her pocket. She blushed a little as she reached into her pocket to pick it up.

"The ER?" He asked; having watched her.

She sighed. "Yeah…I was uh due off my break ten minutes ago" She laughed a little.

He smiled at her before diverting his eyes to the floor – realising that their conversation was going to be cut short long before he had gotten to saying what he really wanted to say.

"I better go…" She said quietly; looking at him.

He lifted his head and nodded. "Yeah…"

She smiled at him as she lifted her hand and awkwardly waved at him before walking off.

"hey Abby!" He shouted.

She turned back round to look at him.

"About tomorrow…I'd really like it if you were there" He smiled.

She blushed a little; smiling to herself and very grateful that there was practically no lighting up on the roof.

"I uhh…I'm not so…uhh" she started to stutter. "What time?"

He smiled; for a moment he thought she'd turn him down. "Twelve o clock. You remember where it is?"
"Yes" She nodded her head. "…but I uhh…I can't make any promises"

"I understand" He smiled before watching her walk off again. He turned back round to watch the city and just as he heard the heavy door opening she shouted out to him.

"Carter!" He turned around.

"It's great to see you" She smiled at him looking into his eyes for a short moment before darting through the door leaving him, once again, alone up on the roof with his thoughts.

-----

Thanks yet again.