Eden
There has to be an Eden somewhere. A perfect place, just for me. There has to be some remote spot, where I can just be by myself, forever. No family looking over my shoulder, no relatives whispering behind my back, no kids crowding around me or adults shunning me. My Eden is just me, and some space to live. Maybe Shishou. He could come and visit. And maybe Tohru. But no one else.
The closest I ever got to Eden was the time Shishou and I spent training in the mountains. That was just about perfect. Just the two of us, working hard every day, catching our own food, living apart from everyone else. Shishou is the only adult I've ever known who didn't look disgusted when he saw me. He treated me like a son. He helped teach me what I needed to know, in order to get what I wanted. Sure, maybe I still haven't beaten Yuki, but damned if I'm not going to one day, with Shishou's help. Those few months were paradise.
I remember one day on the mountain when we were swimming in the river. The current was fast, but I thought I could handle it. I'd done so much training, I thought I was strong enough that nothing could beat me—no rat, no cow, no river either. Before Shishou could stop me, I'd jumped in and been washed away. He ran next to the river for a good half a mile before I was finally close enough to the shore that he could pull me out. I got one of those long talks that day. To tell the truth, I still kind of expected him to yell at me. But he just sat next to me with a towel that night, drying my hair, and saying how he hoped I'd learned my lesson.
"True wisdom is knowing what you don't know," he said. As in, I should've known how much I could take before I tried to take it.
I stayed up on the mountain when Shishou left. I wasn't strong enough yet. And I didn't want to go back home. I'm really grateful that Shishou let me stay. He never treats me like a little kid who doesn't know any better. He just lets me figure that out for myself. It must have been another week or two that I just stayed there alone. Kicking trees all day wasn't as satisfying though, without anyone there to help teach me. I didn't learn half as much without Shishou around.
But now that I'm back here, it doesn't help much to know that I once had an Eden. Things've been better, since I started living with Shigure. I don't have to hide all the time, always by myself. I mean, I like my alone time, but it sucks to have nothing else. Maybe Eden isn't as much about the place. Maybe it's just that feeling you get, when you know everything's the way it should be.