With Tears I Mourn: Chapter Eight - Making the Commitment
Disclaimer: The characters from Stargate SG-1 belong to the franchise for Stargate SG-1 ™. I do not claim possession of any copyrighted characters. Any and all other characters belong to me and may not be used without my permission.
Rating: PG
Characters: Jack and Sam
Chapter eight. I freely admit that this has been the hardest chapter to write. Perhaps because Jack and Sam were so strictly military-minded and therefore it's hard to imagine either of them making such a move. But then I think of an episode in the 7th season, Grace, where Jack (albeit a vision Jack) stated, "I'm a pretty safe bet." Something had to happen between them, even if it's only for a day or a week or a month. So that's what I'm going for.
Sorry if it's not physical enough for you, but this is only a PG fanfic. winks Please R&R.
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"Sam?"
Her head turned from the kitchen counter where she was in the process of slopping a variety of canned goods into various pots and pans. The expression on his face sent trepidation zinging through her form. A certain reckless determination shone in his eyes, and she forced herself not to step backward when Jack deliberately invaded her personal space.
"We need to talk."
His breath stirred the short strands of her blonde hair and she uneasily cleared her throat. "I thought we just did, Jack." One hand slowly moved upward and plucked the half-cleaned plate from her hands, replacing it in the frothy white suds in the rusted sink. "We're both tiptoeing around the issue, here, and I think you know why."
He took a step backward, a hand animatedly running through his silvering hair. "Sam, we've talked about everything, all the reasons why a relationship won't work." Her eyes flickered to the floor and she uneasily shifted back and forth. "Yes, I'll say it if you won't. I want to at least give it a try. Sam, we both know why a relationship would be a bad idea. It's against regulations, all the rules we've accepted as gospel. But this rule has been broken before. We wouldn't be the first time."
She refused to look up at him, so his fingers gently nudged under her chin, bringing her brilliant blue eyes level with his own. "Look at me and tell me you don't want this." A muscle tightened in her jaw. "When Martouf died, we never discussed the issue we both underwent with that Tok'ra lie detector. The days moved into weeks and finally it felt like the time had passed. But if a simple piece of machinery, however high-tech, can reveal our feelings for each other, then why can't we say them just as freely?"
Her brow crinkled, teeth absently gnawing on her lower lip. His brown eyes bored into her soul as intensely as the sun. In her heart of hearts, she knew this was a repressed emotion. Something she had carried since the very moment she entered the SGC and looked into Colonel Jack O'Neill's mischievous eyes. She had willed it away, time and again, until it became habit to simply deny the truth. This place was bringing all of her innermost longings to the forefront of her mind, manifesting themselves in her emotions.
"I don't want to deny it any more." The words escaped in a low whisper.
His hands rose to caress her cheeks, fingering a strand of her blonde hair. Her sensitive eyes meshed with his, unable to glance away, had she even desired it. He pleaded, "Then don't. We don't have to bring it back to the SGC with us, but here, we can lose ourselves in the moment. Just for a moment."
Hesitantly, he lowered his head, leaning his forehead against hers, eyes slowly closing at the sensation of her warm skin against his own. One hand lowered and found its way around her lower back, drawing her fully against him. She didn't fight him, her breathing steady as her chest rose and fell against his sturdy torso. As if he feared her reaction, his lips whispered across her high cheekbones, barely caressing her flesh. She exhaled a soft sigh, and with the brief sound of acquiescence, his lips captured hers in a full kiss.
Her arms slowly wound their way around his neck, drawing him nearer, urging their connection to continue. Delicate fingers brushed through his soft hair as he kissed her again. Finally, they drew back, Jack's eyes dazed and hers smiling up at him.
"Wow." He murmured.
A full-fledged grin lit her features, and eyes sparkling, she responded, "Yeah, wow." She leaned her cheek into his palm, her countenance expressing a joyful peace that he hadn't seen in weeks. "I won't regret it if you won't, Jack." His eyes narrowed mischievously, the indentations in his cheeks lengthening as he displayed the quirky smile she loved so much. "I always knew kissing you would raise my blood pressure, Sam. I just never imagined we'd get to test it."
She playfully pushed at his chest with her palms, not hard enough to dislodge her from his embrace. "Who knew that it would take a tragedy to bring us together, Jack. What just happened, that was real. The part of me that loved and still loves Martouf is so separate from what I feel for you. Jolinar loves and misses him. But I look at you, and I see hope for my future."
Sam wrapped her arms around his waist, deliberately holding his gaze for a long moment. "Let's make this week one to remember. Even if we go back to the SGC and pretend nothing happened, as if it were a distant vision. We'll know the truth." His features smoothed into a rare semblance of composure. "Once we start this, Sam, I won't want to go back. Our relationship will be for the long haul, whether we admit it freely to the hierarchy or not."
Her lips pursed contemplatively, before reveling in the freedom to lightly kiss him.
"Good!"