A short, pudgy alien strut home with a handful of books in his hands. Because of the size of the books, the mint-skinned alien failed to see much of his path despite his massive head and twice the usual number of eyes of the other species around him. Frieza Planet 92 was a melting pot of the universe ever since Lord Frieza took it over and started profiting from it by planting academies, stores, and factories on it that all served to further his empire.
Because of his short and stubby feet and limited vision, little Guldo failed to see a couple of steps evening out the kindergarten's platform to the bustling city street and thus he planted right on his face. The minty marshmallow peeled his face off the plastic street and looked around as wetness sprouted from both pairs of eyes on his face.
A quartet of older kids were convulsing with their fingers pointed at Guldo and his misfortune. Pouting and blowing out his cheeks like a pufferfish, the fledgling psychic alien bloated his body out even more than it was already plump. As air entered his chest and didn't quite leave and little Guldo focused on stopping his breath, the entire world around him submerged inside a cosmic, purple nebula shroud with only Guldo himself remaining the same.
Twisted and struggling to run intermediate distances with his breath shut, Guldo ran up to the kids with an "Atlas of the Universe" tome in hand and smacked its sharp and hefty corner into the crotch region of every kid having a ball at his expense before rushing behind them and digging his sweaty hand inside of their trousers only to pull out their underwear. With a telekinetic push beneath him, Guldo shoved himself up as he lacked the athletic ability to jump and move around well, especially while holding his breath, and the capricious prankster slipped the backsides of the underwear over the heads of the guffawing brats.
The plump alien almost rolled back to his initial location and burst as he could hold his breath no longer, panting heavily in the first moments of the time resuming. He wished that he could have just as sweet of a time laughing at the bastards that laughed at him, but he had pushed his abilities he had just discovered a few years ago too far. If he was to punish everyone making fun of him with disproportional severity–the best kind, he'd have to temper his body and become stronger.
Guldo burst out the door of the intergalactic grade school building, looking around for some fun after-school activities, but any kid around froze in place and looked away whenever either of Guldo's four eyes turned to them. The obese alien waited around for a few upperclassmen to leave the building too. If kids his age won't play with him anymore and bullies will run to the other wing of the school just at the whiff of Guldo's favorite lime yogurt, Guldo can still play galactic football with the school's club.
"Hey, guys, what's up for today, right to the field, huh?" Guldo pumped his fists in excitement, pulling his one suspender up as it struggled to sit tight on his round body.
"Uh… Yeah, listen, Guldo, the guys and I had a talk…" a tall, humanoid alien with helm-shaped tiger-colored hair scratched the back of his head, staring down at the marshmallow fluff that sized up to his abdomen at best. "We don't really want other people to see us play galactic football with an underclassman. They'll get the wrong idea. If you want to play–join the club."
"B-But I can't join a school club yet, I'm just in the second grade!" Guldo waved his hands, breaking into a sweat from an action merely this intense. "It's… It's because I always win, isn't it?"
"Stop joking around, you fluff-ball!" an intense-looking hot-head that was just a purple skeleton with muscle tissue growing somewhere underneath his outer layer shook his fist out in front of Guldo, frightening the little chubby and prompting him to stumble back. "You're a goddamn cheater and getting cheated by your bullshit routine is just wasting our goddamn time!"
"B-But… I don't cheat, I'm just… Really fast…" Guldo sniffed. "And sometimes the ball just rolls my way, I'm just naturally lucky that way, really!"
"You're really lucky we can't pin anything on you…" a spiky-headed crustacean alien shook his head. His expression betrayed a long and closed shut face. "Still, with a pathetic body like that, you're not playing fair, even if we can't prove it. I mean, you get winded just by talking sometimes. Your athletic condition is worse than that of girls in your class. Have you ever even seen a vegetable?"
"Sh-Shut up!" Guldo yelled out as his lower lip twitched. "I know what you guys are doing! You're just being sour losers, that's it! You can't handle that a second-grader can outplay your weak-sauce galactic football team all by himself, is that it?"
"Guldo… Look, man, don't even think about applying to the school club. Now or later. You're not cut out for sports with that attitude. If we were playing for keeps these last couple of days, if the coach was present in our training, he'd have checked the tapes and found out about your gig, whatever it is. That's how the big-boy world works, you're in grade school but you're still acting as petty as a kindergartner," the captain of the five-grader squad heading to the field for their practice leaned down so he could look Guldo two eyes to four.
"You're just jealous that all the hot chicks will like me if they see me outplay you with my eyes closed!" Guldo proclaimed with veins popping out on his forehead despite him not having stopped time yet. "It's you losers who shouldn't be wasting time with football, 'cause no matter how much you train a second-grader will always outplay all of you!"
Guldo extended his hand to the handheld pod that one upperclassman held and pointed his open palm to the sky. The pod lit up with a sparkly, purple glow before shooting off into the atmosphere like a shooting star with enough kick to it that it sent all the upperclassmen aliens rolling about from the ring of blunt force spreading out from the pod that was taking off.
"There! If you want to play galactic football now, you'll have to play it actually all over the galaxy!" Guldo made a mean-spirited gesture by pulling the lower eyelid of his right, smaller eye and sticking out his tongue before turning back and patting his bottom before the upperclassmen that were getting furious, as evidenced by their unilaterally switching skin colors. Despite their native colors, they were all turning to a shade of red.
"Get that little, fat asshole!" the scary, skeleton-alien guy declared after jumping back to his feet. Guldo extended his arms toward the upperclassmen and ran up to them, jumping up to headbutt them in the groins before running away while they struggled to comprehend the pain that they were in while paralyzed in uncomfortable positions.
Guldo hauled as fast as he could. Just running a few meters left him so out of breath that he'd have actually failed to hold the breath he breathed in, which was a necessity for him to stop time. Those bratty jocks got what they deserved. They could have been the top galactic football club in the entire universe with Guldo on their team, but they made fun of him, just like everybody else.
"You mock, you get socked!" Guldo muttered to himself as he pressed his back to the corner of the snack vendor floating in mid-air. He heard girly chuckling on the other side, so he stuck his head out.
"Your boyfriend's so lame!" one of the female aliens with horns over her head and what appeared to be hay falling from the top of her head over her shoulders pointed her finger at a blond, humanoid schoolgirl with thick and plump lips and eyes that lacked any pupils, just a cerulean iris ring.
"I bet Arma ran off to play football again with his friends, instead of treating me to ice cream! That's it! I'm so through with that insensitive prick!" the blonde thrashed with her frail arms all around, frightening the merchant seated inside the hovering vendor pod.
Guldo smirked while rubbing his hands. He had regained his breath after taking a few moments to rest behind the vendor pod. The mint-skinned chubby breathed in and stopped his breath, enveloping everything around him in a violet nebula shroud with gleaming cracks of gold splitting the frozen universe like fissures all around him. The plump alien rushed out from his cover and rolled over the counter and inside of the vendor pod, leaving it with a tray of every kind of ice cream there was.
"Hey, ladies, I got you your ice cream! You're right, your boyfriends are so lame, so you should all just go out with me!" Guldo beamed a smile while huffing heavily in a struggle to lift the tray with ice cream over his head. The alien schoolgirls all looked at him perplexed, wondering where this little shrimp came from. The vendor whited out in shock after seeing a whole tray of his ice cream outside of his pod, despite finding himself in a vendor pod selling snacks and desserts, ice cream included, the man found himself so stumped by this massive sale he just couldn't remember that he had to wipe his forehead with a hanky to deal with it.
"Um… Thanks, I guess…" the blonde schoolgirl took a cone from the stack of cones and treated herself to as many scoops as she wanted. Encouraged by the boldness of their pack leader, the rest did the same, patting the pudgy little brat on the head, just teasing him with their gratitude.
"See? See? I'm cool. Will you all date me now?" Guldo threw the tray to the side and shook his tiny fists in front of his round belly.
The pack of vicious, underage sugar babies howled in the hilarity that they found in Guldo's suggestion. Once a tall and long-necked, blue-skinned, bald alien schoolgirl dealt with the crack-up and the strain it put on her enough to talk, she spoke up first.
"Why would any of us go out with a little twerp like you? Do you even have a part-time job to provide for a girlfriend?" the long-necked schoolgirl wondered.
"Who cares? Look at him, he's butt-ugly! You could roll over a whole planet of ice cream and no self-respecting grade-schooler would let themselves be seen around a smelly fatso like you…" the blonde rolled her eyes at her friend's response before twisting her face into a cruel reflection of mockery personified as she bent her upper body over to gaze into Guldo's eyes on the same level as the sniffling grade-schooler.
"A bunch of lousy cougars, the lot of you!" Guldo yelled out, raising his open palm and sending a telekinetic pulse at the group of girls that lifted their skirts up all at once. With a mad dash past them, the little fluff-ball made sure to peek under them to his heart's desire.
Guldo closed all four of his eyes as he darted across the bustling street and ran onto a monument comprising Lord Frieza's head positioned atop of an obelisk modeled after his floating chair with his tail wrapped around it which served as a circling platform to lead curious visitors and those just sightseeing around the monument to examine the full splendor of their regal and eloquent space tyrant overlord. It also made for a fine decoration in a square nearby a grade-school for kids to look in utter awe at.
"What's the point of having psychic powers if nobody will like me, anyway?" Guldo shook his leaking with tears noggin. "Stupid fifth-graders, what do they know? They don't have psychic powers, so why can't I use mine to win? Lousy bullies, I'm stronger than all of them when the time's stopped and they're frozen in place! Girls… Who needs 'em? I can look up as many skirts as I want!"
Nobody even looked at Guldo standing up and walking to the door during the recess. Everyone just kept on talking. Guldo couldn't stop gritting his teeth. All that ruckus and all that attention surrounding some good-looking jerk with a new communicator. Who cares? Can that communicator move things by itself? Can it stop time? Guldo didn't think so… And who said that communicator was his? It was just one breath away from being Guldo's.
Just one breath away and all that noise and all that engrossment made Guldo especially grumpy. The mint-skinned chubby breathed in and didn't breathe out, turning to the circle of dweebs surrounding the dweebest dweeb of them all who thought he was all that with his fancy communicator. Despite running short on breath, Guldo kicked each one of them in the groin from behind before nabbing the communicator. Nobody saw him take it–that meant that he didn't steal it.
A myriad of pain-ridden grunts filled the classroom as the teacher jumped off of her chair with a pale expression, realizing that her moment of serenity shortened. She needed to tend to all the bruised and injured kids that just popped up out of the blue. No other class produced anything like this, this was the only class with weird stuff like this going on. She really needed to know better than to relax and lower her guard during recess.
"My communicator!" the fish-faced schoolboy cried out. "Where did it go? I had it just now! Everyone saw it, didn't you?"
"What's that in Guldo's hands? Isn't it a brand-new communicator?" a flat-faced, orange-skinned, nose-less classmate of Guldo's with brown, curly hair pointed to Guldo and the novel gadget that he clutched in his hands.
"It's mine!" Guldo stuck out his tongue and flipped his classmate the bird. He'll make sure to throw a dozen boogers into her juice during lunch for squealing. "I have it, nobody saw me steal it, that means it's mine!"
"Guldo, did you take Starra's communicator?" teacher put her hands on her hips. She'd like for Guldo to confess, wouldn't she? She'd be the hero who found out the mystery of class 5E. All she'll get is a rat in her morning coffee tomorrow and Guldo will dye her apple red too.
"I said I didn't take it, that means you're not getting it back!" Guldo shoved it under his trousers, rubbing it against his bottom to where the original owner wouldn't even want it back if they had any dignity left.
"Hey guys!" an upperclassman from one grade higher stuck their tentacle-ridden head with pods at the tip of each tentacle that jingled like a bell every time they moved their head. While he was a member of a stupid and useless race and had no psychic powers, unlike Guldo, his stupid, jingling tentacle-hair pulled all attention off of the desperate for attention thief. "Arma's leaving school early today. His audition for the Ginyu Special Squadron starts early tomorrow, so he needs to take off from the Star Port today. We're all seeing him off, what do you guys think?"
"Wow, the Ginyu Force, seriously!?" the orange-skinned classmate of Guldo's beamed a serious case of starry eyes upon hearing this news.
"No wonder, Arma's crazy strong. Didn't he do like 4217 push-ups yesterday? He said he could keep going too, but what's the point of counting even higher? At some point, that's just too many push-ups and you're just showing off, right?" one of the pain-ridden male classmates stood up and sat down to their seats, placing just the tip of their bottom so that the pulsing with torment crotch region didn't explode in blazing impulses again.
"I don't know… The Squadron is amazing, who knows how many push-ups they can do?" another classmate scratched his head.
"Yeah, and Bonyu is a brilliant scientist–she can count all the push-ups in the world so there's no use in stopping at all. You could just keep doing push-ups and she'd never lose count!" a female classmate slapped her own cheeks and shook her head, shrieking in gleeful awe of someone from their school actually scoring an audition with the Ginyu Special Squadron.
"Enough about that, look at the awesome communicator I have!" Guldo yelled out, raising the gadget he just stumbled into over his head after pulling it out from the warm safekeeping inside of his underwear, but nobody seemed to care anymore. Arma and his audition was the talk of the town. The lousy bastards even had the nerve to leave the classroom where Guldo was showing off his newest communicator. "Fine, who needs you anyway? I'll join the Ginyu Special Squadron myself, then you'll all be sorry. A worthless numb-nuts like Arma can't ever make it. He'll never make it, ever!"
"I don't know, Guldo," a cream-skinned alien with a horse-shaped face but not a hair of fur on it shrugged. His species had inherently lousy eyesight, which prompted him to wear the most plastic and ugly glasses. His were thick, thicker even than those of his other peers. "I mean… Arma can do… Like a lot of push-ups. How many push-ups can you do? I don't know… But I'd bet on not as many as Arma."
Guldo splattered his slobber, spraying it off of his tongue in disgust. "Arma. Who cares about him? For your information, he's jealous of my skills in galactic football, always has been. It's only cosmic justice if I ruin his audition by doing a way better job than him!" the mint-skinned cue ball rubbed his hands with a devilish grin on his face.
With the flow of time itself under his command, he could master the art of as many push-ups as he wanted. With telekinetic powers under his belt, Guldo could push himself off the ground until Arma dies of old age. The spot on the Ginyu Special Squadron was as good as his and seeing how impressed all those worthless losers were by the Force–Guldo might even let the captain know of his secret. Once he knows, there's no way he'd look over Guldo's psychic brilliance!