Derek POV

I can't believe it. My mom is dead. Ugh. I mean I shouldn't miss her or anything. It's been so long. Me and her don't have the best history together. And another thing is why is Casey being so nice to me? She probably just feels bad for me just because my mom is dead. I don't want pity. I want Casey. We get into the car together and the drive there seems so long. She can obviously tell something is wrong because she starts to talk again. Babbling. That is exactly what I need. Her talking endlessly trying to help.

"So, Derek. Um Like I said I know it might be a little weird between us, but you know if you need me I'm there." Oh great mushy talk. "I'm not saying you have to blubber all over me or anything, but just if you need to talk about anything, you can talk to me."

"Ok, Case."

"OK, so do you want to talk about anything? With me?"

"Not really, Case."

"Fine." She says and she looks like she's pouting just because I don't want to talk about my past with my mother and how not-so-good it was. She doesn't speak for a few seconds.

"C'mon, Derek. Just talk to me. No one else is here. Why don't you want to talk to me? Is it because I broke up with you. Well, I didn't because we weren't exactly together. You know my mom and George weren't going to be very fore it. But, I mean, just give me some time to think. I was drunk, which obviously isn't me. So, who knows?"

"So, what you're saying is that to be with me you need to not be yourself? WOW Casey, thanks. Well, now that I know that little piece of info I'm sure to quote un- quote open up to you!"

"No, Derek, I just need to think. Please, don't get mad. I'm just trying to help." Now she looks like she's pleading with me.

"You know what? Maybe there is another reason why I don't want to be all open. Maybe just maybe me and mother don't have the best past. Did you ever think of it? Maybe she used to beat me and maybe then she left us! Huh? You never thought of that did you. Maybe I have scars on me, broken bones, even from her! Maybe my father doesn't even know because I always told him it was from hockey! So, Casey, maybe you get it now!" She looks shocked. Not only because of my past, but because I just nearly screamed at her, while she's trying to drive. I feel a little bad about how loud I screamed at her. It isn't really her fault.

"Derek, I had no idea. I-I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. " She looks straight ahead and doesn't look like she's going to say anything.

"Look, Case, I didn't mean to yell at you. Its, if you don't know our past, it's a little hard to get it. But, I shouldn't have yelled. But, if you want to know, I do miss her. She might have hit me and hurt me, but she's my mom, so I do miss her. I shouldn't. I hate myself for feeling this way." Damn, Derek, don't cry. You can't let her see it.

"It's ok, Derek. She's your mother. That's why you feel that way. No matter what she used to do, she's still your mother. I get it and of course I want to know. I don't just want to know because I feel bad for you. I man, I do. I can't imagine what I would do if my father or mother died. But, I like you. Derek, you know it, I love you." Now she looks like she's going to cry. Ugh.

"Case, I know. And I love you too. I hope you know that." I tell her.

"Our parents." She says.

"I know. But I want to be with you. Just think about it, please, Casey."

"I told you I would and I will. So um, Derek, not to get into stuff you probably don't want to talk about, but um, ugh this is going to sound insensitive or something."

"Don't worry, Case, just say it" I tell her.

"Well, is your mother dead or are they keeping her alive so that you can say goodbye?"

"She died."

"Oh, well then I'm sorry. That sounds so stupid, but I am."

"It doesn't sound stupid and thanks." Silence.

"Um, one more question. Did your mom ever do anything like really bad to you? Not saying that hitting isn't bad, but like did she ever molest you or hurt you? I don't want to ask awful questions, I just want to know what exactly is going on."

"No, it's fine. She never did that, no."

"Oh, OK." More silence. "Hey, Der?"

"Yeah, Case?" I say, but not sounding impatient even though she is asking a lot of questions. It doesn't mater though , because I know she is just trying to help. Oh my goodness, I am becoming a softy towards Casey.

"You know how I said that if you need me, I'm here. Well, I mean I know you are a tough guy and all and that you probably don't want anyone to see you cry." You got that right. "But, I don't care. I know you have to cry. Your mom is dead. You said it yourself. You miss her. Don't try to be strong is it's just me. Please. How strong do you really feel holding it all in?"

"I don't know, Case." This sounds so mushy, so why am I buying into it.

"OK, well, yeah, just wanted to let you know." She stops the car. "OK, we're here. You ready?"

"No" And I never will be.

"Well, I don't think anyone will ever be ready to see this, but you don't have to either. I mean, I think you want to see her, but don't. They need someone to identify and make sure it's her, but you don't have to."

"Yes, I do. It's my mother."

"Ok, well can you at least let me come?"

"Casey, it might be something you don't want to see."

"I want to go with you."

"OK, thanks"

"NO problem." And we walk into the hospital together, holding hands.