(A/N: Heya! Shinigami Goumon here! Thankies for all the reviews! And without further adieu, LET THE BASHING COMMENCE!)

Shinigami Goumon searched the audience for her next vict-koff-contestant!

Her eyes came to rest on a girl with long black hair, pulled into a ponytail, currently bashing the crap out of a verrrrrrrrrrrrrry sexy red head with bokuto.

"Oh No-No-Nannette!" Shinigami smirked viciously, "No one abuses bishounen in MY omnipotent presence…no one except ME that is…ke ke ke ke ke!"

Touda and Koyori ducked down behind a mixing board, quaking in fear.

"Our next fatality is, all the way from Kamiya Dojo…KAMIYA KAORU! COME ONNNN DOWN, YA RACCOON FACED SLUT!"

"What did you say?" Kaoru snarled, stomping down the stairs, bokuto gripped in one hand, Kenshin gripped in the other, being dragged along by the ponytail.

"Drop the bishounen, bitch!"

A pair of mechanical hands dropped down from the ceiling and punched Kaoru in the face, sending her flying into a wall some twenty odd feet away.

Kenshin was then tenderly scooped up by said hands, retunred to his seat and given a neck massage (I mean, COME ON! HOW can you NOT love a guy who goes 'Oro?'?)

"Oh…oh…gods…ouch." Kaoru moaned, staggering back to the stool.

"Huh? Oh. Still alive, huh Dog Face?"

"What th' HELLS was THAT FOR?" Kaoru shrieked, attempting to staunch the blood gushing from her nose.

"For assaulting a bishounen who obviously has to be made of marshmallows!"

"Marsh…mallows…?" Kaoru asked, thoroughly confused as blood poured between her fingers.

"Because anyone that squishy and sweet and glompable can NOT be human! Therefore, he's made of marshmallows!"

"…ooooooookayee." Kaoru said skeptically.

"But enough of about sweet, squishy, glompable, obviously-made-of-marshmallows Kenshin! On to your MEGA BASHING!"

"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!"

"Kaoru…she's been a crack-cocaine dealer for the past five years!"

"Whuh-what are you talking about?" Kaoru asked nervously, eyes flitting through the audience at all the Officer Jenny's who began palming their batons,"N-no I'm not."

"Hey Kaoru? D'ya still have that great blow that killed Beluchi?"

"Sure do, but it'll cost y-EEP!" Kaoru squeaked, clamping both hands over her mouth as the Officer Jenny's began to rise to their feet.

"Now, now Officers. You'll get your chance."

Grumbling slightly, the police squadron sat back down.

Kaoru's face was white with panic…and bloodloss.

She attempted to make a break for it, but a metal manacle clamped around her thighs, pinning her to the stool.

"Nice try, Kamiya. Better men than you have tried to escape the stool's almighty grasp and all have failed. Heh heh heh!"

Karu's nosebleed finally stopped, but her face remained pale with fear.

"Now then…Kaoru…She works for a drug lord named Flippy the Shark!"

"Where do you come up with this shi-!" Kaoru cried only to be cut off by the Disembodied voice.

"Hey Kaoru? Couldja ask Flippy ta cut me a deal on some ice?"

"RRRRR!" Kaoru growled, "I DON'T KNOW ANYONE NAMED FLIPPY!"

"Howabout some African Black?"

"SHUT UP YOU ANONYMOUS VOICE FROM NO WHERE!" Kaoru roared.

"Some Heroin perhaps?"

"Whyyyy wont you shut uuuuuuuuuup?" Kaoru moaned, rocking back and forthfrom the confines of the stool.

"Kaoru…she believes that buttering ones zori is good for the soul!"

"WHAT?" Kaoru cried, looking truly repulsed, "NO I DO-!"

"Oops! Wait! Sorry! That was a typo!"

"Finally admitting your wrong, eh?" Kaoru Smirked.

"You have no soul!"

Kaoru's eyes went wide with anger.

"I DO SO HAVE A SOUL, YOU SICK FUCK!" Kaoru screamed.

"This comin' from a soulless crackwhore!"

"I AM NOT SOULLESS!" Kaoru shrieked.

"Tell Flippy I said hi!"

"ARE YOU STILL ON THAT?" Kaoru roared.

"Now you know…Kaoru."

"By the way…Officer Jenny Squad? Have at her!"

The shackle around Kaoru's thighs was released and the Jenny's charged.

"YEEEEEEEEEE!" Kaoru shrieked, taking off in the opposite direction.

From her booth, Shinigami watched with vindictive pleasure as the mob of Officer Jenny's captured Kaoru and began bashing in her skull.

"Heh…heh heh heh…that'll teach her." Goumon snickered, "The only one doing the bashing on this show…is me!"

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Waaaaah…Lady Goumon is so scary." Koyori whimpered.

"Shh! She'll hear you!" Touda hissed.

Shinigami had already spotted her next victim and had brought her microphone back to her lips.

"The next participator for our sizzlin' hot Hot Seat issss…DUO MAXWELL! COME ON DOWN!"

The cocky Gundam pilot strutted down the stairs confidently, braid swishing behind him.

"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!"

"Duo…he once stole one Relena's favorite dresses-"

"THAT WAS YOU?" Relena shrieked, shooting out of her seat..

"-put it on and danced around to Aerosmith's, "Dude Looks Like A Lady"!"

"IT WAS ON A DARE!" Duo shouted, "QUATRE DOUBLE DOG DARED ME TO! I Couldn't BACK DOWN! MY HONOR WAS AT STAKE!"

"So you sacrificed your manhoodon a dare, eh?"

"That's right!" Duo nodded, looking proud of himself…for a second before it dawned on his that he'd been insulted, "Hey! WAIT- NO!"

"Good ta know...dumbass."

"Duo…he once opened mouth kissed Wufei!"

"I did NOT!" Duo shouted furiously, defending what little masculine pride he had left.

"Oh, but I have PROOF!"

"Shyeah RIGHT!" Duo snorted, calling her bluff, "Bring it on out, ya Disembodied Deciever!"

"As you wish, pretty boy."

A pair of double doors opened and who should walk in but Chang Wufei himself, looking very irked.

"Sorry Maxwell." Wufei grunted, "But somehow, someway, that omnipotent bitch managed to appropriate Nataku. She said she would only return him on the condition that I did THIS!"

He thrust a hand in his shirt and came out with a large fistful of photographs, which he began to rain down on the audience.

Duo caught one.

"AWP!" he squeaked.

It was picture of him, stupid drunk, forcing a kiss an a unbelievably pissed off Wufei.

"You were saying?"

Duo opened and closed his mouth like a fish a few times before leaping off the stool and attempting to snatch up all the photos.

"Now you know…Duo."

"Haaa...such joy...such rapture!" Shinigami sighed blissfully.

She had managed to snag twenty copies of that pic before the show.

"Hee hee! These babies are gonna go for a TON on e-Bay!" Goumon giggled.

She slid one photo into a frame.

"And of COURSE one-for-ME!" she squealed, "LONG LIVE YAOI!"

Her assistants sighed mounrfully.

"What did we ever do to deserve being pinned with such a nutjob?" Touda sobbed.

"No, Mom!" Koyori thought hysterically, "I don't need college! I'm gonna follow my dream...and be a star!"

The two stared at their boss, currently waving a banner that read, "YAOI FOREVER!"

"Boo hoo hoo hoo!" they bawled internally.

(A/N: Who's up next? R&R to find out!)