(A/N: Heya all! I live! I was having writers block but with the help of faithful reviewers like you, I've finally finished! So without further adieu, let the bashing commence!)

Shinigami Goumon sat in her control booth, eyeing the audience with rapidly growing paranoia.

"They're out to break us up, I swear it." she muttered quickly, eyes flashing insanely, "It's a conspiracy, dammit! They're ALL involved somehow!"

"They ahre noot." Jin said grinning, "Here, wanna Twix?" (he's slipped about four ground up Midol into them)

Today, she sat not in her famous spinny chair, but floating in midair in Jin's lap like a child; legs dangling over his calves and feet coming nowhere near touching the ground.

Empty Lays bags, chocolate wrappers, Tubs of Ice Cream, pretzels bags and plastic muffin containers littered the floor…as well as twenty two emptied boxes of Midol.

The Midol finally taking effect, Shinigami finally set to work locating her next offering to the stool.

It didn't take her long.

Itachi, thoroughly pissed at Kisame for revealing the identity of Agent M on live television, chased the shark man on stage.

"Well…that settles that." Goumon smirked.

"Will, WILL! A Two fer!" Jin grinned hugely.

Shinigami then quickly pressed a blue button with a pair of handcuffs embossed on it.

A pair of manacles shot out of the floor and pinned Itachi in place.

Goumon then pressed a magenta button.

The mechanical hands from Ch.5 returned, grabbed Kisame roughly around the middle and slammed him down on the stool.

The manacle then shot out and clamped around Sharky's thighs.

"Alright then! Obviously, our next two contestants arrrrrrrrre…HOSHIGAKI KISAME AND UCHIHA ITACHI!"

"Release me at once, wench." Itachi spat, Magekyo Sharingan flashing maliciously.

"Yeh sure ya dun' wanna bahsh 'im first?" Jin asked.

"Sweets, don't you fret! Haven't you ever heard the saying, "Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun"? " Shinigami smirked, "Here! Sweets for my Sweets!"

"WOO HOO! CANDEH!" Jin cried, chomping down on a handful of Watermelon Jolly Ranchers

(A/N: I am making a stand-right here and now! Watermelon…is the ONLY good flavor of Jolly Rancher! Don't you DARE SAY SOUR APPLE! If you say Sour Apple, I'll hafta stab you in the jaw. Just walk into the KYS: FFA!lobby, say hi, I'll be the one stabbing jaws)

"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!"

"Kisame…he likes to shove live goldfish down his pants and sing, '"I! AM! IRON MAN! COULDN'T-GETTA-WOMAN-SO-I-USED-MY-HAND! I! LOVE! LSD! LITTLE-PURPLE-PEOPLE-CHASIN'-AFTER-ME!"'!"

"I do NOT, you impertinent BITCH!" Kisame shouted.

"What a pathetic loser!"

"I am NOT a LOSER!" Kisame said huffily, "I've had LOTS of women!"

"Oh yeah? Name five!"

"Easy!" Kisame said indignantly, "There's uh…um…err…ummm…"

Itachi hid his face in his hands and couldn't look at the fish man.

"Whoooo are these alleged women again?"

"Shut up." Kisame said, turning purple as he blushed with shame.

"Itachi…-"

Itachi's head snapped up from it's hidden position in his hands.

"-…he's a hermaphrodite!"

Itachi's Magekyo Sharingan flashed crimson with rage.

"I...am...not, you miserable fool." He spat.

"Oh really? Izzat a fact?"

Shinigami nonchalantly pressed a tie-dye colored button.

A vat of some strange liquid rained down upon the elder Uchiha, and almost instantaneously dissolved his clothes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Sasuke screamed upon seeing his brother's breasts, "I'M BLIND! I'M BLIND! MY RETINAS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Kisame's eyes went wide as he gaped at his superior's honkers.

"So THAT'S why you parade around in those oversized robes!"

Itachi alternated wrapping her/his arms around his/her boobs and covering up her/his Johnson.

"AND wear you hair ridiculously long!"

"J-just be QUIET!" Itachi cried, red with embarrassment.

"Why? This is just too great an opportunity to pass up!"

"Shut UP!" Itachi cried, eyes glowing.

"I mean, I was aiming off target and hit a bullseye!"

"GODDAMNIT WILL YOU BE QUIET!" Itachi bellowed.

"Nope!"

"RRRRRRRRRGGH!" Itachi cried in frustration.

"Kisame…-"

"AWP!" Kisame squeaked.

"-…he has the hots for Itachi!"

Blushing furiously, Kisame screeched-

"I DO NOT YOU WHORE!"

"AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" Itachi cired.

"Besides the obvious?"

"And what was that last remark supposed to mean, Itachi-sama?" Kisame asked suspiciously.

"Nothing!" Itachi snapped, "I merely wanted to know what about me you found so unappealing!"

"How about your Master of Ceremonies?"

"Who asked you?" Itachi snarled.

"Itachi…-"

"Damn it." Itachi grumbled.

"-…he…I mean she…I mean…oh whatever-IT thinks Kiasme is a sexy beast!"

"I do not!" Itachi cried.

"Then why the Third Degree?"

"No reason." Itachi shrugged, "I merely take great pride in my appearance."

"Ohhhh, so you're a Narcy?"

(A/N: "Narcy" is 'Gal Speak' for a Narcissist)

"Yes exact-I mean NO!" Itachi shrieked.

"Thought so!"

"GRRRRRRR!" Itachi growled (get some clothes on you freak)

"Kisame…-"

"What now?" the shark man sighed.

"-…he adores parading about in stilettos and ball gowns!"

"I do NOT!" Kisame cried, eyeing the still nude Uchiha, "That's her-I mean HIS bag!"

"How DARE YOU!" Itachi cried, bitch slapping the shark-man.

The elder Uchiha then managed to wrench free of the manacles and stormed off stage, boobs jiggling and tallywacker swingin'.

"Now you know…Kisame and Itachi!"

Shinigami Goumon and Jin snickered as Kisame and Sasukenow were attempting to gore their own eyes out at the sight of Itachi.

"Heh. Will! Thah was fun!" Jin grinned cheerily.

"Sure was!" Shinigami nodded in agreement, "And I already have a candidate for bashing thanks this fanmail we received from the Makai."

"'ey…where're Laith 'n Bashee?" Jin asked, finally noting the lack of chaos in the small control booth.

"I sent them out to get supplies." Goumon smiled.

-At the grocery store-

"Banshee…no where on Lady Goumon's list does it say Hiei plushie." Laith said, smoothly extracting it from the catgirl's arms.

"WAH!" Banshee cried, " But you got that MURAKI PLUH-MMMMFMFMFMFMF!"

Laith stuffed the plush in her mouth.

"You made your point." He said coolly, "Lets just hurry this along and get outta here."

-Back At The Studio-

"Our next target issss…HONDA TOHRU! COME ONNNN DOWN!"

It a moment for the slightly dim girl to register that her name had been called and she quickly tripped down the stairs, stumbling slightly.

She took her seat, looking around excitedly.

"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!"

"Tohru…she hated her mother with every fiber of her being!"

"Wh-what?" Tohru stammered, twitching slightly, "I'm afraid you're mistaken. I loved my mom very much."

"Ain't it horrible?"

"Eh-excuse me?" Tohru asked, twitching again, a bit more this time, "I said I didn't hate my mom!"

"Hating her own mother! Oh the SHAME! I ALMOST Feel an ounce of sympathy for the poor woman!"

"I didn't hate my mom!" Tohru cried indignantly, "I don't know why you refuse to believe me, but I'm telling the truth!"

Shinigami growled and bit her thumb.

She WASN'T cracking!

Damnit it was pissing her off!

"Very well then Honda." Goumon snarled, "I'll just hafta pull out the BIG guns!"

"Tohru…she secretly hates the Sohma family and wishes they all would find holes to crawl into and die!"

Tohru's hands clenched into fists, her face flushed red, and she began to shake with rage.

"Honda-san…" Akito said coolly from her seat (That's RIGHT! She's a GIRL! EFFIN' LITTLE TRANNY WHORE!), "…how I have dreamed of this day!"

Tohru whirled around and faced the head of the Sohma family, eyes flashing.

"Now YOU LISTEN HERE, BITCH!" Tohru roared, FINALLY losing it, "I HAVE ALWAYS CARED FOR, AND LOVED, YOUR FAMILY! SO IF YOU DON'T SIT YOUR SKINNY ASS DOWN IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS I'M GONNA SNAP YOU IN TWO LIKE USED TOOTHPICK!"

Yuki and Kyo's jaws simultaneously dropped at the sound of such vulgar language erupting from the normally sweet Tohru's mouth.

Shigure, Ayame and Uotani Arisa cheered loudly.

Hanajima Saki looked mildly amused.

"Ya know what? Screw you, you invisible voice from nowhere!" Tohru snarled, stomping offstage, "I have a family to save from the hands of that cross dressing sado-bitch!"

"Now you know…Tohru!"

The big screen slid out of the ceiling again as once more the lights dimmed.

"And now, to our field correspondent, HeartofDragon! HoD?"

-blp-

The red haired youkai with the mismatched eyes grinned out at the from the jumbo screen.

"Okay, KYS fans!" HeartofDragon cried, "Today we are gonna roast as many as possible within the short time I have!"

"That means they all have to be in one place right?" HeartofDragon winked, "So today, we're gonna drop in to a certain letter shaped tower, and harass...err…I mean, oh forget it! Bash the crap out of a group of wannabe teen heroes!"

Shinigami Gouon chuckled as did Jin.

It'd been awhile since they'd seen HoD THIS excited!

HeartofDragon hurried off as fast as she could towards the stupidly shaped and inefficient tower.

Having Sparky ("My name is LOKI DAMMIT!") go first to peek in the window to make sure they were there, and getting zapped by their defenses, they popped into the building before they could motivate an actual attack.

"Boss?" Spark-I mean Loki asked weakly, smoke pouring off the poor youkai.

"Yeah Sparky?" HeartofDragon replied, grinning like a fool.

"Don't make me do that again...please?" Loki begged.

-To Himself-

"Whyyyyy can't she get my name right? Whyyyyyyyyy?"

-Back On Topic-

"Weeellllllll..." she pondered as the team leader started getting anxious.(sp?)

"Who ARE you and what are you DOING here!" Robin shouted hurriedly and on full alert.

HeartofDragon glanced at him and smiled.

"Ohh chill kiddo!" she grinned, "We're just correspondents from the show Know Your Stars: FREE FOR ALL! and today, you are our vi...contestants!" she cried cheerfully

"We don't WANT to be on your show!" Robin snarled, "Get OUT of OUR TOWER!"

HeartofDragon adopted an expression of feigned hurt.

"No need to be RUDE, Bird Boy!" she said huffily, a large vindictive grin replacing the overly exaggerated look of pain, "But you REALLY don't have a choice in the matter!"

She whipped out her little warpy ball of reality warpyness and activated it, surrounding the team in a black shadow.

"What…is this?" said the quiet and arrogant Raven, "Is it supposed to frighten us? Sorry…but I'm not afraid of the dark."

In the shadows, Loki and Heartof Dragon grinned wickedly…as did Shinigami and Jin back at the studio.

"So?" HeartofDragon snickered, "Its not s'posda to scare you! But it will keep you here til we're done!"

She turned to the audience and viewers at home.

"All right ladies and gentlemen, humans and demons,not to ention my Boss Lady…'cuz I'm not exactly sure WHAT she is…'sides psycho!" HeartofDragon cried ("Aw! She remembered!" Goumon squealed.) "We don't have much time so lets start the fun!"

She cleared her throat and began her bashing.

"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!"

"Robin…he absolutely hates bats and everything associated with them!" HeartofDragon grinned.

"WHAT?" Robin thundered, "I do NOT! I was raised by BATMAN, fer chrissakes! He's like a FATHER to me!"

"Ohhhh sure! I'm supposed to believe you, bat hater?" she said, rolling her eyes.

The light switched to a big African American cyborg.

"Cyborg…his panels are actually plastic and Christmas lights!" HeartofDragon cried happily.

"No they're not!" Cyborg cried indignantly, "I should KNOW! I BUILT most of it!"

"Surrrrrre-with duct tape!" she sneered.

The light spun again, coing to rest this time a little, fuzzy, green boy.

"Beast Boy…he's afraid of all things cute and furry!" HeartofDragon cried in shock, hands plastered to her cheeks.

"I am NOT!" Beast Boy snarled, "I turn INTO cute furry animals!"

"And lick your balls?" she asked innocently.

"Ye-wait! No I dont!" Beast Boy cried.

"Hey! You said it, not me…Garfield." HeartofDragon snickered.

"Rrrr!" Beast growled in frustration at being called by his real name.

The light switched again, and it was Raven's turn in the spotlight.

"What are you going do to me?" the gothic teen asked dully, a bored look on her face.

"Raven…her room turns pink when she flips a switch and fills with fluffy unicorns." HeartofDragon snickered.

"What?" Raven growled, "First of all, I hate pink, and second of all, I hate fluffy unicorns!"

"Thats not what Mr. Fluffykins says!" HeartofDragon giggled.

She pulled a clearly well loved stuffed unicorn from her back.

"AAAAAAAUGH! Give'm back!" Raven wailed, tears streaming down her cheeks, "GIVE'M BACK! GIVE'MBACK! GIVE'MBAA-AAACK! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

HeartofDragon tossed the plush to the sobbing girl, who promptly began to suck her thumb and rub the tattered thing against her nose.

"Well! That was pathetic!" she smiled.

The light spun around, coming to a stop on a redheaded girl.

"Starfire!...ummm, awwww she's just too cute!" HeartofDragon said running out of steam as a loud gong went off, "And were outta time any way, so until next time!"

(A/N: Who's up next? R&R!)