(A/N: Yo! Shinigami Goumon here! Now with out further adieu, here's the next chapter!)

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Inoue Orihime sat at her desk, flipping through a magazine.

She lowered it slowly, sniffing the air.

Without warning, she hurled herself out the window.

Ichigo sat below, chewing on a mozzarella stick.

Orihime crashed into him, effectively knocking him unconscious.

Orihime snatched the stick out his hand, dusted herself off and walked away, scarfing it down as she went.

"Behold The Power Of Cheese."

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Genkai sat on a rock looking into the camera.

The familiar voice of everyone's favorite Reikai Tantei, not her own, erupted from her mouth.

"Alrighty then! Listen up!" said the voice, "First, I emptied th' Old Bag's checkin' account and bought m'self an I-pod Mini."

Genkai…Yusuke…or whomever was controlling her…began ticking off her fingers.

"And a new set a threads. Damn youkai keep destroyin' mine…a new set a wheels…stupid Ma- always complainin'…and a new set a titties for Keiko. HOOO MAMA!"

"Don't let Identity Theft happen to you."

"Sign up with City Bank today."

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Hard bodies pressed together.

Mouths locked in a fight for dominance.

Finger groping wildly.

Loud hungry moans.

Bishie bodies tangled up in one another.

Yaoi!

It's What's For Dinner!

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Shinigami Goumon and Jin Kaze Tsukai watch with morbid amusement as Laith chased Banshee around the control booth with a butcher's hook.

"While entertaining, we have to get a move on." Shinigami said, turning around in her chair.

"Sweets? Wouldja?" Goumon asked, giving her youkai hubby a wink.

"A course." Jin grinned.

A small typhoon filled the booth, sending fanmail flying every which way.

Shinigami snatched one out of midair and the winds stopped.

"Hmm…from Higure 'Duskmon' Kimura…of Singapore." Goumon read aloud as Banshee shot past, a giant stone foot in her arms, as she chased down Laith, hell bent on revenge.

"'oo's 'ee wan'?" Jin asked, reading over her shoulder.

"Oooo. This is a good one." Shinigami smirked reading the request.

"Yer raht." Jin grinned.

"Let's humor him." Goumon snickered.

"Our next sacrificial lamb issss…MAZAKI ANZU! COME ONNNN DOWN!"

Hearing her name, the overly hyped teen strolled down the stairs and took her seat on the stool.

"Know your stars! Know your stars! Know your stars!"

"What the?. Who's out there?" Anzu snapped in fear (She had fallen asleep at the start of the show…idiot.)

"Anzu... she likes bunnies…"

"Yup!" Anzu nodded with a happy smile on her face, "I love bunnies! They're soft and fluffy an-!"

"…FOR DINNER!"

Anzu's jaw dropped.

"Th-THAT'S HORRIBLE!" Anzu screeched.

"I know it is! How could you DO THAT TO THEM?"

"I DID-!" Anzu was cut off.

"They TRUSTED YOU!"

"I NEH-!" Anzu began.

"And you lured them into a false sense of security and ATE THEM!"

"NO I DIDN'T YOU STUPID VOICE!" Anzu screamed.

"If you ate Momiji…I'm afraid I'll hafta kill you."

"Who the HELL is MoMIJI?" Anzu shrieked.

A blonde boy shot up from the audience bouncily.

"I AMMM!" he sang, "And I am just fine!"

"Oh good…so it was your twin BROTHER she ate."

"WOULD YOU STOP IT?" Anzu shouted.

"Whut-everrr, Zodiac Eater."

(A/N: The year of the Rabbit is MY Zodiac.)

"RRRRRRGH!" Anzu growled.

"Anzu... she is cheating on Yugi with Yami Bakura!"

"Oh, yeah right." Anzu said, rolling her eyes, "I just love having it from a 5000 year old, homicidal, king of thieves!"

"Really? I always knew you loved older men."

"EWW!" Anzu screamed, flailing her hands to show her disgust, "Why do you keep insulting me? Is there something wrong with you?"

"Yes... your face."

"What?" Anzu snapped.

"Anzu... she's the ugliest slut in the world!"

"I'M NOT A SLUT!" Anzu shouted, "AND I'M NOT UGLY!"

"Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that...ugly."

"Stop MOCKING ME!" Anzu bellowed.

"No!"

"Anzu...She has a sick obsession with betrayal and murder."

"What! I do not!" Anzu snarled huffily, crossing her arms across her chest, "My main thing is friendship."

"Whadda sado-bitch."

"I am NOT!" Anzu cried, fist now clenched at her sides.

"So how many people are on your hit list again?"

"Two hundred and twenty teh-HEEP!" Anzu clamped her hands over mouth.

"HA! I KNEW IT!"

"…I…don't know you." Yami Yugi said slowly.

"Maybe she isn't as bad as I originally thought." Yami Bakura smirked.

"WAIT! WAIT!" Anzu cried in panic, "IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF HIT LIST! REALLY!"

"Surrrrrrrrrrre it isn't."

"Anzu…she stuffs her shirt with peanut butter!"

She shot out of her chair like a rocket.

"I do not!" Anzu yelled, "I hate peanut butter! It's disgusting! Why would I put it down my shirt!"

"How should I know…Cashew Mc'Nutterson?"

"Oooo, I hate you." Anzu growled.

"Anzu…is wildly in love with a opossum named Cletus!"

"I AM NOT IN LOVE AN OPOSSUM!" Anzu roared, "MAN, YOU ARE CRAZY! WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY!"

"Anzu…I'm your mother!"

(A/N: GAG!)

"NO YOU AREN'T!" Anzu screamed, stamping her feet childishly, "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! YOU COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"Here's an idea. Why don't YOU come up HERE, dollface?"

"There is NO WAY I'm going up there to see YOU!" Anzu shouted.

"Why don't you come up here and see your mother?"

"I WILL NOT 'CUZ YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!" Anzu shrieked, "NOW LEAVE! ME! ALONE!"

Anzu sat back down in the chair in frustration.

"Anzu…she keeps her undergarments in the freezer!"

"I DO NOT!" Anzu yelled.

"Here's a question: Why the freezer? Dya like having frostbite on yer ass or somethin'?"

"I DON'T PUT MY UNDERGARMENTS IN THE FREEZER!" Anzu shouted, positively frothing now.

In the audience, Mutou Yugi, Honda Hiroto and Jounouchi Katsuya sat in the ninth row, dumbfounded.

"Guys, I think Anzu has gone off th' deep end!" Jounouchi exclaimed.

"Whaddya mean? We're not at the pool…are we?" Honda exclaimed, looking pathetically horrified.

The others shook their heads.

"I can't see who Anzu is talking to guys. Do you?" Yugi asked.

"Naw." Honda said, "But I'll bet it's th' same voice who's been rippin' on everyone else."

"Y' might be right." Jounouchi nodded. (might be?)

"Now you know…Anzu!"

"No they don't!" Anzu screeched, "They no nothing about me! You're not my mother! I do not stuff peanut butter in my shirt… I DON'T PUT MY UNDERGARMENTS IN THE FREEZER, I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH AN OPOSSUM NAMED CLETUS-!"

"Sure thing, Rodent Lover!"

Anzu screamed, tearing out large handfulls of her hair, and stormed off the stage.

HeartofDragon had seemed truly distracted to that morning, so Shinigami Goumon knew something was up as she lowered the screen to unveil the field report.

"HoD! are you ready?" Shinigami asked.

"Yeah, whatever." HeartofDragon said huffily, clearly in a bad mood.

"Aww…is it your time of the month too?" Goumon asked sympathetically.

"And what of it?" HeartofDragon snapped.

"This oughta make things interesting!" Shinigami thought cheerfully as the grumpy HoD began.

"'kay." HeartofDragon huffed, "In this episode we have tha shmucks from Shinzo!"

She quickly scooted up to the bunch of humans and Eteran and weird robot lookin' thingys.

"Huh? Who're you?" Binka asked, looking up at the two toned eyed woman who had mysteriously appeared outta nowhere

"I am HeartofDragon!" she declared as cheerfully as she could muster, "Field correspondent for Know Your Stars: FREE FOR ALL! which you are now on!"

She then pulled out her ball and activated it.

"Hey! What's goin' on?" Kutal cried, "What is all this?"

"Its just somethin' to keep you here-I mean to transmit the signal of our camera!" Loki drawled, rolling his eyes at his boss who continued.

"We will start with th' little girl there!" HeartofDragon declared.

"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!" she cried unenthusiastically.

"Binka…she absolutely hates Yakumo with every fiber of her being, and wants to push her off a cliff!" HeartofDragon yelled dramatically.

"I do not!" She cried, indignantly, vlose to tears, "I love Yakumo!"

"Uh-huh. Sure you do..." HeartofDragon sneered.

Binka began to bawl and Yakumo patted her shoulder.

The light spun to Kutal, who was now nervous,

"Kutal…he still eats humans when Binka and Yakumo aren't looking!" HeatofDragon shouted accusingly.

"I-why I neh-I do not!" Kutal sputtered, "I never ONCE ate a human!"

"Then what's this recipe for Yakumo stew and Binka dressing?" HeartofDragon asked tauntingly.

A sheet of paper appeared in her hand and she waved it in front of his face.

"KUTAL! How COULD you!" Mushra yelled fiercely at the overstuffed cat man

"I was just hungry when I wrote that! That's all!" Kutaull snapped defensively.

"Yeah, sure…ya sick freak." HeartofDragon said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Loki snickered as she was bashing the Eteran.

"Hey Sparky! Got any input?" HeartofDragon asked with a small grin.

Loki's face collapsed into a glare.

"Uh, no." He snapped, looking like he wanted rip her head off, "For CHRIST'S SAKE, woman! My name ISN'T Sparky, DAMNIT! Could you at LEAST get it right ONCE? Is that SO MUCH to ask? Just once! Ya know something? I don't think you even know my name!"

"Hey! I know your name, damn it!" she snapped as he began to tremble.

He just realized what he had done.

Messing with her and SG in this time of month was like poking an Africanized Bee's nest-reeeeeeeeeally stupid!

"Damnit all, Loki!" HeartofDragon snarled, eyes flashing dangerously, "I know your fucking name! It's just that the first time we met, you electrocuted me! I called you Spark Plug, you thought it was funny, so I called you Sparky ever SINCE!"

"I forgot about that..." Loki mumbled.

"Its why you got the FUCKING job in the FIRST PLACE you JERK!" HeartofDragon snapped, "I REALLY oughta make youPAY for that!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Loki begged, "I didn't mean it! Don't kill me!"

She was about to pull one of her levers when the water Eteran spoke up.

"Hey, you bitch!" Saago shouted, "First you bash my friends then your gonna kill yours? What kinda of monster are you? You heartless wench! Why doncha just let us out of here!"

-twinge-

"…okaaaaay….I'll let you out." HeartofDragon said slowly, a vindictive grin appearing on her face "SO YOU CAN TRY TO RUN!"

She was pissed now.

More pissed than ten thousand hornets who were doused with water.

The Eteran would regret his words as she transformed to her true form, a twelve-and-a-half foot, blood-red dragon.

She stood on her own two feet with gold bangles, chains and horns, and was all together frightening.

"Okay, THAT was a mistake." Saago mumbled, wetting himself as HeartofDragon yanked down the release lever

"You BETTER start running!" she growled deeply, laughing evilly as Loki quaked behind his camera.

Back in the studio, Shinigami Goumon knew that there was only one way to keep her buddy HoD from killing the Eteran.

Quite calmly, she flipped open her infamous cell phone and dialed up a certain inu-youkai of the western lands whom we all know and love.

"Yo, Se-kun? SG here." Shinigami said casually over the phone, observing with amusement as HeartofDragon chased down Mushra, breathing fire all the while, "Ya, everything's cool on my end. But it seems like things would be so much better if you were here."

There was a pause and a wide smirk filled Goumon's face.

"Yeah, she started too." Shinigami laughed, "So you'd better get here, like now, or your wife is gonna kill someone, and really, do ya really wanna hafta deal with another law suit?"

Goumon and the person on the other end of the line hung up at the same time.

She twirled in her chair; she was loving it!

Back on scene HoD currently had Saago, Kutal and Mushra cornered, in a dump of all places.

Her own rage activated power, made theirs shut down, leaving them…well…pretty much as powerful as a paper bag.

"Any last requests, douchebags?" HeartofDragon grinned maliciously.

'Yeah…could you not kill us?" Mushra whimpered as they looked up into the burning eyes of rage.

"You'd LIKE that, WOULDN'T YOU Mushra, you child raping MASOCHIST!" HeartofDragon roared, "I know for a FACT you take pictures of little girls in the shower and BURN YOURSELF!"

"How'd you know that...?" he asked meekly, the others looking at him in disgust, as a voice spoke up behind the towering dragoness.

"…dear, you shouldn't kill them." The voice said mildly, "…after all, they are the heroes."

HeartofDragon whirled around.

"Sesshykins?" HeartofDragon asked sweetly, almost instantly turning back to normal and glomping onto him.

"Sehehehehsheeeeeeee!" she bawled, "WAAAAAHAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA! Th-they called me the wuh-word I don't like!"

"…really? " Sesshoumaru said coolly as he gave a an arctic glare at the blue man in the middle.

"I'm sowwy Sesshy." HeartofDragon blubbered, "I couldn't help it! I'm just having a weewwy bad day!"

"Let's go." Sesshouaru sighed, "There are Oreos and fudge waiting for you at home."

"Okies..." she said as they left

"WHAT! NO APOLOGY? SHE TRIED TO KILL US!" the Shinzo cast cried.

From out of nowhere, Rosie O'Donnell plummeted from the sky, crashing on top of them.

Her jowls jiggled as she began to speak.

"'m hungry." She muttered as she eyeballed Kutal.

"There's your apology." Shinigami snorted, "Never mess with someone at that time of month, BOYO. Especially someone on my payroll who happens to be a friend."

They moaned and fainted from lack of air as the youkai lord carried his wife home to recover.

Loki shuddered behind his camera.

"Man…glad that's over." He muttered, "'m never gonna get mad at her for calling me Sparky again. Th' last thing I need is that fat lard Rosie on me. Ulg!"

Loki shuddered again as the camera –blp-d off.

(A/N: Who's up next? I'm not sure! R&R!)

(P.S.: To anyone out there who has the complete lyrics to Invader Zim's "The Doom Song"? I'm looking for them…and would love you for-eh-ver if you sent them to me!)