(A/N: Heya! I'm back! Sorry this took s'long. Writer's block is a bitch! But now I'm back. So please enjoy!)
Shinigami Goumon sat huffily in her spinny chair, arms crossed huffily, a picket sign duct tapped to its back.
It read:
"DOWN WITH GREEN JELLO!"
Laith and Banshee were, for once in their lives, not fighting.
And for good reason.
The audience was beginning to riot.
"Lady Goumon?" Laith asked tentatively, "The show?"
"The show will wait!" Shinigami snarled, "I will not rest until Green Jello vanishes from the face of this earth!"
"But Shinigami-chama!" Banshee whined.
"NO BUTS!" Goumon snarled, "THE GREEN JIGGLING MASS OF EVIL MUST DIE!"
Laith and Banshee looked on as their employer ripped the picket sign off the back of her chair, screaming, "DOWN WITH GREEN! UP WITH RED! RED IS THE COLOR OF BLOOD! AND THEREFORE, SO MUCH BETTER!"
She stormed out of the booth.
Banshee looked at Laith, cat ear twitching, tail swishing back in forth out of agitation.
"Whaddle we do?" she asked worriedly.
Laith sighed, kitsune tail resting calmly, ear giving a light twitch.
"We'll just have to do the roast ourselves today." He sighed, sitting down in the spinny chair.
"…is that legal?" Banshee asked.
Laith shot her a glare.
"Now let's see…" he murmured, picking up a notepad on the control panel, "It says, 'Ameri/Italime To Bash- Winks Club, W.I.T.C.H., etc.'."
"Lets do this thing!" Banshee hooted, abruptly changing her tune.
Laith blinked at her.
"Why the mood shift?" he asked.
"I HATE W.I.T.C.H.!" Banshee cried.
"Ah. I get it now." Laith smirked, flipping on the mike.
"Hello there, all you people in T.V.land. Shinigami Goumon is currently on strike against the evil that is…um…green jello…so Banshee ("HI!") and myself, the name's Laith, will be taking over for the duration."
Banshee took the mike.
"Our first victim issssss…BLOOM! COME ONNN DOWN!"
The fairy with the bloated head and hips fluttered down from the audience and took a seat on the stool of doom.
"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!" Laith sneered.
"Bloom…she's an illegal immigrant!" Laith thundered.
"Wuh-WHAT? N-no'm not!" Bloom cried, looking shiftily from right to left.
"Don't deny it!" Banshee cried accusingly, "Everyone KNOWS you immigrated from Italy ILLEGALLY you hairy legged freak!"
"Buh-but I came here legallyandMYLEGSAREN'THAIRY!" Bloom cried indignantly, "That the FRENCH! I HATE the French!"
"Of course they're not." Laith sneered sarcastically, running his finger through his tail casually, his large ears twitching slightly.
"They AREN'T!" Bloom screeched.
"So now she has hairy legs and she's a Frensh hater?" Banshee tsk-ed, "Bay-ad Bigot Girl! Some o' my best friends are French!"
"And I care cuz WHY?" Bloom cried, "My legs aren't hairy! Don't you dare compare me to the French!"
"Viva Le France!" Laith sneered.
"Grrr!" Bloom growled.
"Bloom…she's secretly Paris Hilton in disguise." Banshee snickered, tail swishing, ears twitching happily.
"Puh-Paris Hil…I AM NOT!" Bloom cried, totally outraged.
"Tut tut, Paris." Laith chided, "No need to hide it anymore."
"IAMNOTPARISHILTON!" Bloom shrieked ripping out chunks of her hair.
"There's nothing to be ashamed of." Banshee grinned, "Well…besides the sex tape…and '"The Simple Life"'…and your effed up eye…"
"Your denial of your bulimia…" Laith ticked off, "…your denial of your anorexia…your obvious animal abuse…"
"ANIMALABUSE?" Bloom bellowed, "I'D NEVER HURT AN ANIMAL!"
"Oh, and DON'Tyou call what you dress that poor Chihuahua up in abusvive?" Banshee shot back.
"And Now You Know…Bloom!" the pair sang together.
"NO THEY DON'T!" The fairy shrieked.
"We don't care." Laith drawled, pushinga smilely facebutton.
"Bye-bye!" Banshee grinned, waving furiously as Bloom was rocketed through the ceiling.
As her screams faded into the distance, the duo selected their next victim.
"Our next contestant issss…CORNELIA HALE! COME ONNN DOWN!"
The blonde girl strode gracefully down the stairs.
At the sight of her, Banshee hissed, tail fluffing up and ears flattening against her head.
"Eeeeeasy girl." Laith said, patting her head.
"Mrrrowrrrr-rrr." She growled, eyes completely focused on Cornelia, tail switching violently back and forth.
"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!" Laith began.
"Cornelia…she wishes that Elyon would hurry and die so she could live in peace." Laith smirked wickedly, watching Cornelia's eyes widen in horror.
"Eh-Elyon! Don't listen to this creep!" Cornelia sputtered.
"Cornelia! I TRUSTED YOU!" Elyon spat angrily.
"Hey, it's not YOUR fault you're STUPID!" Banshee hissed, eyes glowing green.
"HEY!" They shouted together.
"Cornelia…her real name is Corn Puffs!" Laith declared, and evil grin on his face.
"No it isn't!" Cornelia yelled, shaking a fist, "My name is Cornelia! Say it with me! COR-NEEL-YA!"
"I'd rather NOT thank you..." Banshee growled, "…Corny McPuffypants!"
"MY NAME IS NOT CORN PUFFS!" Cornelia shrieked.
"Don't think we're done here, Cornelia!" Elyon shouted from the audience.
"Now You Know…Cornelia!" Laith smirked, "Banshee? Would you like to go say hi to our…'lovely' contestant?"
With a loud hiss, Banshee darted out off the booth and after Cornelia, claws outstretched.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Cornelia screamed leaping off the stool and dashing around the stage in an attempt to escape Banshee's ire, "CALEB! HELP ME!"
"Why?" he asked, "This is funny!"
"You JERK!" Cornelia cried dashing out of the studio, Banshee hot on her heels, "I hate you!"
The familiar big screen slid out of the ceiling and Laith declared:
"And here's our Field Correspondent, HeartofDragon! HoD?"
The red-headed youkai with the mismatched eyes blipped on screen.
HeartofDragon seemed back to normal after what had been dubbed, "The Shinzo Scare."
Her husband, Sesshoumaru, seemed to be able to work wonders, but truth in fact, he merely stuffed donuts full of Midol before the show and convinced her that she was really hungry.
He was currently praying they didn't wear off before she finished the segment as he watched her through the view screen.
"Gods help those poor souls if those blasted pills wear off..." he muttered.
"HELLO FANS!" HeartofDragon said cheerfully, "Today we roast our -koff- favorite preppys!"
She rushed up to the trio, talking about shoes, of all things.
"Howdy doody there girls!" HeartofDragon grinned.
"WAAH!" Alex squealed in surprise, her eyes noticeably vacant (and head noticeably empty) "Who're you?"
"I cooould be HeartofDragon!" she smirked, "And I cooould be the field correspondent for Know Your Stars: FREE FOR ALL!"
"Wow! A T.V. show? OOOO! Just let me fix my make up!" Clover cried.
She whipped out a huge make up case and desperately started applying it to her face.
"Waaaait a minute." The not-so-stupid-but-still-pretty-damn-dumb Sam said slowly (so as not to hurt herself) "I've never heard of that show. What is it?"
She caught, just then, a sight of the camera man, Loki, snickering madly at what his boss could do to them.
"That would be because...its viewed by DEMONS!" HeartofDragon crowed.
At that point she whipped out her trade mark ball and activated it, trapping the girls inside.
"Hey! Let us out of here! What are you doing?" Clover whined
"Not til I'm done!" HeartofDragon smiled evilly.
To make sure they would sit and take it, she pulled down a black and white lever and hands shot out and secured the girls to the stools with industrial strength super glue.
"ACK! Let us go!" Alex cried with her friend, trying to free herself from the stool.
"Tch! I said, not til I'm done!" HeartofDragon tsk-ed, wagging a finger at them, "Okay now...lets get to it!"
"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!" HeartofDragon began.
The light spun to Sam.
"Sam…she really isn't smart!" she laughed.
"Thats not true!" Alex protested, "Sammy's really smart!"
"YOU BE QUIET!"
She pulled another lever and Alex's mouth was promptly duct-taped shut.
The tape was then ripped off quickly sending a yelp from Alex.
Back in the studio, Sesshoumaru was shaking his head as what he feared was starting to happen already.
They were wearing off.
"Back to my bashing." HeartofDragon declared, "Sam…she really isn't smart! Truthfully, she gets all of her smarty-pants-ness from a itty-bitty gnome that lives in her head and feeds her the answers!"
"There's no gnome in my head!" Sam cried indignantly.
"Sure…you say that now..." She pulled down a neon lever and all of a sudden, a verrry creepy garden gnome popped out of Sam's ear.
"AAAAHHHH!" Sam screamed, clawing at the thing, which popped back inside her head.
"Who doesn't have a gnome in their head again?" HeartofDragon grinned.
The light spun around to the still reeling Alex.
"Alex…she hates all things cute and furry! That includes squirrels and turtles!" HeartofDragon sneered.
"Not true!" Alex huffed, "I love cute furry animals! AND I have a stuffed turtle named Oli! "
"Then whats this?" HeartofDragon asked not-so-innocently, whipping out a turtle plushie covered in squirrel blood with a knife plunged through it's eye.
"Alex!" Clover gasped, "I didn't know you could be so cruel!"
"HEY! You try and be sweet and up beat all the time and see if you dont have rage issues!" Alex yelled as HeartofDragon continued to grin.
The light then whipped to Clover, the uber preppy blond that HeartofDragon despised.
"Clover…she's not a natural blond!"
"WHAT!" Clover bellowed, "I AM TOO!"
"Actually, she's completely bald!" HeartofDragon grinned, "She wears a wig!"
"I do not!" Clover screamed, "I am not bald! OOO-That's IT! Girls? Let's get her-Super Spy Style!"
The girls cut themselves free of the stools and went into spy mode.
"You're goin' down, crazy lady!" Alex screeched at the demoness, who only yawned.
"Hey Sparky, get a look at them!" HeartofDragon sneered.
"HAHA! Thinkin' they can do somethin'!" Loki chuckled, shaking his head.
"Which lever...which lever..." HeartofDragon said thoughtfully, scanning each one with her eyes.
"How bout the greenish blue one?" Loki said helpfully.
"OOO! Thanks Sparky!" HeartofDragon grinned.
Loki rolled his eyes.
He knew when to choose his battles.
She pulled the lever and a huge barrel of rotting, putrid fish poured on top of them from nowhere.
"EEEEWWWW!"
"Ohh GROSS!"
"Totally NASTY!"
"Hehehe, let shed a little light on the sitchy-ation, shall we?" HeartofDragon suggested wickedly.
She pressed the button again and they were back in the mall, with a huge crowd gathered around.
"Well well, if it isn't the losers!" a familiar, nasally voice snickered, "What's that smell? Oh…never mind. It's just you! EHAHAHAHAHAHEEEE!"
"Hey…only I get to rip on'em right now..." she smiled sadistically as the light fell on the black haired snob.
"MANDY! SHES ACTUALLY REALLY UGLY AND ANCIENT! SHE STEALSTHE YOUTHFROM CHILDREN TO MAKE HERSELF LOOK GOOD. SHE WEARS CLOTHES SHE FIND IN DISCOUNT STORES AND PASSES THEM OFF AS ORIGINALS BECAUSE SHE IS ACTUALLY BROKE! WHEN SHE WANT SOMETHING SHE STEALS FROM BLIND ORPHANS! TRUTH IN FACT, SHE'S A COLD, HEARTLESS, CRUEL, UGLY, BITCH THAT NO ONE LOVES!"
HeartofDragon was enjoying ranting about Mandy and letting off steam as the Midol wore off, and as Sesshoumaru rushed in and carried her away before she could get violent.
"Awwww!" HeartofDragon pouted, "But honey! I wan'ed t' get violent!"
"I know dear... but if you killed them you might get in trouble... and I really don't feel like bringing any of them back..." Sesshoumaru reasoned.
"M'kay honey..." she said collapsing in his arms and sucking her thumb.
She was asleep so fast, Sesshomaru had to finish.
"Ummm okay." He said slowly, "Well, now you know, Alex, Clover and Sam…I suppose. Back to you Shinigami."
"SHE'S ON STRIKE!" Laith and Banshee cried in frustration.
(A/N: Well there you have it! Will Shinigami come off strike? Will Laith and Banshhe have to roast again? Or will something wholly unexpected happen. But then again...this is KYS, so is it really all that unexpected? R&R!)