A/N: Please take your seats, we are ready to start another journey. This is what I like to call a 'what if' story centering around Sam. I asked what if Sam did go looking for Dean and Castiel after they ended up in Purgatory. I hope you enjoy the read and the AU I have created. I want to thank VegasGranny for her insight and help with the story. She rocks. I do like reviews/comments. NC

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of SPN and this is my own creation. Any errors are my own.

Chapter 1

An eerie silence filled the room as the hunter stood in the doorway in shock and utter disbelief as he let his eyes slowly pan around it, trying to take it all in. There was black blood splattered on the walls, floor, ceiling, furniture, and glass windows. Where his brother and the angel had been standing only moments ago, with the head of the Leviathan, was now suddenly empty. As soon as Dick Roman exploded, throwing its black blood everywhere, they disappeared, all three of them. Dean and Castiel vanished along with Roman, to where, he had no idea.

And now Kevin had been taken by Crowley and he was alone, truly alone. He had never felt like this before, not even when he had left his Dad and brother to go away to college and he was on his own. At least then he knew they were out there hunting. Sam let his eyes go back to the last place Dean had been standing and concentrated on it as if it would tell him what had happened to them.

The only thing Sam knew for sure was that Dean was not dead. If he had died when Roman had been destroyed, he knew he would feel it deep down in his soul. So, that meant Castiel was alive too but what happened to them? Sam was brought out of his trance when an explosion echoed through the building making the structure shake. He knew he needed to get out of there before the entire thing came down on his head.

Knowing there was nothing left for him in this place, he turned and hurried from the room, not looking back. He made his way through the building, dodging falling debris and raging fires until he found the exit doors. Sam stumbled from the building gasping for fresh air as he coughed and spit mucus. His eyes were watering with tears and smoke irritation. Sam wiped his eyes and blinked rapidly trying to clear them. He moved away from the building and used a tree to hold himself up as he sucked in mouths of fresh air.

Once Sam was breathing better, he straightened and took time to look around as his numbed mind tried to work. His first course of action was to get away from this place and fast. Things were still exploding inside the huge building, and he didn't want to be here when fire department and cops showed up. His eyes landed on the Impala that was abandoned on the sidewalk at the front of the building and on unsteady legs made his way toward it. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was okay and looked around for Meg, wondering where she went, but couldn't deal with that right now.

Knowing he couldn't waste any more time, Sam dropped into the driver's seat and was happy to see the keys dangling from the ignition. He turned the key and hoped she would crank and let the breath he was holding out when it started with a grumbling roar. It sputtered before settling into an angry rumble. He put her into reverse and backed off the sidewalk until he could turn her around to head away from the fiery inferno.

When Sam thought he was a safe distance from Roman Enterprises, he started looking for a motel to get a room so he could formulate a plan for his next move. He was exhausted and grief stricken and knew he needed to rest and regroup. Once he saw a suitable motel, Sam exited the highway and followed the signs to it. He pulled up to the office and killed the engine before getting out and going inside to get a room for a couple of nights.

After moving the car behind the office building, Sam parked in front of his room and grabbed his bag and went inside. He stopped short after opening the door and stepping into the room. Without thinking about it, he had gotten a room with two beds like always when Dean was there. He sighed and hung his head of a moment before moving on into the room. He dropped his bag on a bed and dug out his bathroom bag before heading into the bathroom for a hot shower.

Sam discarded his smelly clothes and turned on the water, adjusting it before stepping under the hot spray. He sucked in a sharp breath as the steaming water washed over him. He stood under the spray letting it hit him in the face as the water mingled with the tears, he could not stop from falling. He braced his hands against the wall letting the events of the past few hours play again in his mind. The raw emotions washed over him, and he sobbed uncontrollably for his loss. He slapped his hand into the wall and gasped in misery, as he shook uncontrollably, letting out his pent-up emotions. Sam knew he needed to grieve so he could move pass it and do what needed to be done.

After giving himself a little time to mourn, he wiped the water from his face and pushed away from the wall knowing he needed to finish his shower. He poured shampoo into the palm of his hand to wash his hair and rinse before soaping his body. He rinsed away the suds, shut the water off, and then reached for a towel to dry his wet body. He ran the towel over his head to towel dry his hair before stepping form the tub. Sam put on briefs, light sweats, and a T-shirt, and gathered his dirty clothes to take to the other room.

He closed the drapes and adjusted the temperature for the room before pulling the covers back on the bed and crawling under them. He moved around and punched his pillow trying to get comfortable as he shut his mind down to sleep. Even after the hot shower, Sam felt a cold deep down in his bones that wouldn't go away. He closed his eyes and threw an arm over them to block the dim light coming in through the curtains. The sounds around him were foreign and kept him on edge, not able to let go, and really rest.

It took longer than he expected for him to fall asleep but when he did, it was not a peaceful one. His dreams were filled with Leviathan and death and loss. Sam moaned in his sleep as he tossed in the bed, becoming entangled in the covers. He weakly fought them for a moment until giving up and sinking deeper into sleep.

spn

Strange noises woke Sam from his sleep, and he struggled to remember what had happened and where he was. He could see light coming in around the curtain and realized the noises were from outside of other people leaving the motel and knew it was the next day. After untangling his legs from the sheets, Sam sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes to finish waking up. He had sweated heavily during the night even though the room had been cool.

He got up and shuffled to the bathroom to use it and decide on something to eat when his stomach growled loudly. The motel had a free breakfast and figured it was worth checking out so he wouldn't have to go any further or deal with any people. Sam slipped on a shirt over his T-shirt and stuffed his feet into his boots before grabbing the room key and stepping out into the bright daylight. He shielded his eyes and made his way across the parking lot to the office where the breakfast was served.

Sam stepped into the lobby and headed to a small adjacent room that had tables lining one wall with coffee, hot tea, and milk to drink and an assortment of breakfast items to choose from. He took a bagel and put it in a toaster to heat while he fixed a large cup of coffee to his liking. When the bagel popped up, Sam put it on a plate and smeared cream cheese on it. He snagged a banana and apple and headed back to his room to eat.

After shifting things in his hands so he could get the door open, Sam stepped inside and went to sit at a small table by the window to eat. He sipped on the coffee before taking a bite of bagel and chewing slowly. Sam felt like he was moving in slow motion and his mind seemed to be filled with fog and didn't want to clear. He couldn't focus on any one thing and after he finished his meager breakfast went to lay back down on the bed.

He flipped on the television for the noise and turned the volume down as he lay there staring at the ceiling. What had happened at the main location for Roman Enterprises; that was not how things were supposed go down. Tears leaked from his eyes as he pressed his face into his pillow to stifle his cries. Sam curled into a ball and pulled the covers over his body, trying to keep the outside world at bay for a while longer. It wasn't long before he drifted to sleep, twitching and jerking as the nightmares invaded his mind once again.

spn

Loud talking outside his room woke Sam midafternoon. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and lay there listening to the slamming of car doors, yelling, cars starting and leaving, and the faint sound of televisions coming from other rooms. He rolled over to reach the phone in his room and called the desk to see if there was a restaurant close by that delivered. He got the number and called in a takeout order since he didn't want to interact with people yet.

Knowing his food would be there shortly, Sam got up and went to the bathroom, using the commode first before splashing icy water on his face. He dried his face, keeping his eyes downcast so he wouldn't have to see his reflection. Sam figured he looked as bad as he felt and didn't need to confirm it.

Sam went into the main room and dug money out of his jeans pocket to pay for his food. It wasn't long before there was a knock at his door. He opened it and stumbled back with surprise as Meg strolled into the room.

"What the hell," Sam cried out. "How did you find me?"

"I am a demon Sam," Meg said matter of fact. "I have my ways."

"What happened to you?" he asked seeing the condition of her clothes that were torn, bloody, and dirty.

"Seems Crowley's not too happy with me teaming up with you guys," Meg stated moving into the room and sitting at the table. "He sent a couple of his goons to drag me back to Hell, but I had other plans in mind."

Before Sam could reply another knock sounded at the door. He turned to the door and opened it to get his food. He paid the driver and took the bags to the table to sit so he could eat.

"Where's Dean and Clarence?" she asked realizing they weren't there.

"I don't know," Sam mumbled looking down at the floor.

"Care to explain? I mean aren't you guy joined at the hip or something?"

"When they took out Dick Roman, I don't know; he sort of exploded and they were gone, all of them."

"You mean they exploded too?"

"No, I don't think so. They disappeared, vanished. Dean's not dead, I can feel it. I just don't know where him and Cas are."

"Okay, then, guess we need a plan."

"Do you want me to order you something?" Sam asked. "I didn't know what happened to you or if you were even alive."

"No that's okay, but I am going to get a nice hot shower," she decided getting up and strolling to the bathroom. "Do you mind?" she asked pulling a T-shirt from his bag, not waiting for an answer as she disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Sam huffed loudly before he pulled the containers out to start eating. He watched out the window as he forked food into his mouth, checking out the people coming and going. The food didn't have any taste, but he knew he needed the nutrients in order to function. He planned on leaving the motel the following day knowing he needed to pull it together and find Dean and Castiel. With Meg here, he didn't feel quit as alone, but would she help him or hinder him?

After he finished eating, Sam tossed his trash and pulled out his laptop and connected to the motel's Wi-Fi. He sat at the table staring at the screen as his mind started working overtime trying to come up with a plan. He wiped a hand down his face as he squinted his eyes for a moment and rubbed his fingers over his eyelids. He needed some resources so he could figure out where Dean and Castiel had been zapped to. Sam started flipping through his memories searching for anything that could help him.

"What are you doing?" Meg asked stepping from the bathroom wearing Sam's T-shirt. It hung off one shoulder and past her knees making her look like an orphan or a very sexy woman.

"Trying to think of something that will help me find my brother and Cas." Sam only glanced up once and looked away as a memory stirred deep in his mind of another time and another demon. He quickly slammed those thoughts into a box and locked it.

An idea began to form in his head, and he quickly typed into the search engine to find out how far he was from Lansing, Michigan. He mapped out the quickest route and memorized it before trying to find anything on the internet about what happened to Leviathan if they died. He broadened his search trying to find anything that would be helpful. Sam took notes and copied other references to check. He had to stop when his vision got so blurry, he couldn't see the words on the screen.

Meg had taken one of the beds and turned on the television looking for something to watch while Sam did his thing. She remained quiet but watched him closely and knew when he had found something. This wasn't exactly how things were supposed to work out, but she knew she would be safer with him than on her own. Besides, she liked the angel and thought it would be in her best interest to find Dean and Castiel.

He froze for a minute as a conversation came back to him. Dean and he had followed Samuel Campbell, their grandfather, when they captured the Alpha vampire to see what he did with him. They had spoken with the Alpha vampire and learned of Crowley's plan to open Purgatory and use the power of the souls there for his own gain. The Leviathan came from Purgatory, so the logic reasoning would be they would return there if killed.

"I know where Dean and Cas are," Sam spoke loud enough for Meg to hear.

"I knew that brain of yours would figure it out. Dean doesn't keep you around just for your good looks."

Sam frowned at her comment, not used to a demon making jokes.

"Well, tell me, don't leave me in suspense. Where did they go?"

"Purgatory."

"Awe hell," Meg growled in disbelief. But I'm thinking you found something else too?"

"I know a place that may have information to help me. So, how about you? Are you hanging around or leaving?"

"I figure you're as good a bet as any. I might as well stay with you."

"As long as you don't get in my way. I'm leaving early in the morning for Michigan."

"That's fine with me. Think we can stop along the way so I can get some new clothes?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Sam used the bathroom and got ready for bed deciding to leave as soon as he grabbed a free breakfast again in the morning. He had a long drive tomorrow and hoped his idea panned out. It wasn't much, but it was a start, and then he had one other place to checkout before finding a place to lay low and do his research.

"Good night, Sam," Meg told him as she turned off the television and got under the covers.

"Night," Sam mumbled rolling away from her hoping sleep would come quickly. He had to find them, he just had to. Going on alone wasn't an option for him, he needed his brother.