(A/N: I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! And with out any further adieu, here's the long awaited chapter 18! READ ON!)

Laith and Banshee quaked in fear, reading, re-reading and re-re-reading what was written in the letter just to see if the contents had somehow miraculously changed.

But no.

There they were, plain as day, clear as crystal.

Two specific names that both demons were very familiar with: Sesshoumaru Taiyoukai and Jin Kaze Tsukai; the husbands of the hostesses.

"I'm gonna double check my health coverage." Laith mumbled, knowing that once this bashing was concluded, he was in for a serious beating, if not slow torturous death.

"I-Banshee-of sound…errr…body, do hereby bequeath…" Banshee mumbled to herself as she scribbled away on a piece of paper.

Laith, after looking over his insurance papers for the umpteenth time, tapped Banshee on the shoulder with a shuddering sigh.

"We cannot prolong the inevitable." Laith murmured.

"We can TRY!" Banshee cried, eyes brimming with tears.

"Let's just get this over with." Laith muttered, "The longer we wait, the more painful it will be."

Banshee looked ready to burst into tears as Laith lifted the mike.

"Alright Ladies and Gentlemen, Humans and Demons. Do we have a special bashing in store for you." Laith said listlessly.

"Th-that's right!" Banshee stammered, "Our first victim today isss…JIN KAZE TSUKAI! COME ON DOWN!"

There were murmurs of surprise as the red haired imp happily soared down from the rafters, did a back flip in midair before rocketing down to the stool-o-doom, hovering criss-cross just above it, trademark grin on his face.

"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!" Laith began.

"Jin...he enjoys giving handjobs to destitue weasels!" Banshee yelled.

Jin roared with laughter. You'd of thought he'd of never heard anything so funny.

"Jin...he's in love with a cactus!" Laith said tersely.

"Naw!" Jin grinned, "Ah'm in luv wit Shini!"

Laith and Banshee looked at each other. Did nothing effect this guy?

"Jin…he's actually an overgrown leprechaun!" Banshee cried.

"WHA'!" Jin cried, his normally perky face almost instantlycontorting in fury, "AHM NO LEPRECHAUN! AH 'ATE THOSE GREEN SPORTIN' PANSEHS!"

"Now Jin…that's no way to speak about your mother." Laith said tauntingly.

"YOU'LL BE LEAVIN' MEH MA OUT O' THIS!" Jin bellowed, "AHM NOT A LEPRECHAUN!"

"I'm shocked, Jin!" Banshee smirked, thinking upon it as merely another bashing that needed to be dealt with, "Talking that way about your dear old Dad!"

"ME DA WAS NO LEPRECHAUN EITHER YEH DEAF ARSE!" Jin roared, causing an F-5 tornado to form in the studio, "AH 'ATE THOSE P'TATO EATIN' BASTARDS!"

"Hey Jin…leprechauns say what?" Laith sneered, catching Banshee's attitude.

"Wha'?" Jin blinked, looking confused.

"Exactly…Leprechaun Lad." Banshee giggled.

"AHM NO LEPRECHAUN!" Jin screamed, "NOT! NOT! NOT! NOT! NOT!"

"Jin…he lives in fear of the Muffin Man." Laith announced.

"Whuh?...nah tha's jus' silleh." Jin smiled brightly, calming down almost instantly, and bringing the hurricane gales filling the studio to a screeching halt.

"Jin…he's cheating on Shinigami!" Banshee yelled, picking up the pace again.

Jin's face paled.

"Wha' did you say?" he growled, blue eyes narrowing in anger.

"It's true. Sadly, he's cheating on Shinigami-sama with…a peach cobbler she left out on the kitchen counter!" Laith said dramatically, figuring, if he had to die, he may as well do it in style.

"THA'S A LIE!" Jin roared, the violent winds returning and sending several audience members flying from their seats, "AH DARE YEH T' SAY IH AGIN!"

"How COULD YOU, Jin?" Banshee cried dramatically, "And with a month old cobbler too! You didn't even go out and get a fresh one!"

"'OW C'N YEH CHEAT ON SOMEONE WIT' A PAYSTRAY?" Jin bellowed, "'N B'SIDES! AH'D NE'ER CHEAT! NE'ER! NE'ER! NE'ER!"

"Jin…he's about to have his ass beat by his angry wife!" Laith smirked as Shinigami stormed into the studio and grabbed the Wind Master by a pointed ear.

"What the HELL?" Shinigami cried, glaring viciously down at him through golden-brown eyes almost concealed by copper bangs, "YOU are supposed to be PROTESTING with ME!"

"N-now hunneh…" Jin said pacifyingly, "R'member yer breathin'. R'member wha' th' doct'r said."

"FUCK what that quack said!" Shinigami shrieked, tightening her grip, finger armor digging into his overlarge ear, "HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF IN THE EAR! YOU! OUTSIDE! PICKETING! NOW!"

With that, the hostess stomped away, dragging her now squealing husband along for the ride.

"Now You Know…Jin!" Banshee and Laith sang together.

"Alright…onto even more worrisome prospects." Laith sighed his tail switching back and forth in agitation.

"Jin was bad. Sesshoumaru will be...well...I dunno." Banshee shrugged, "I'm a little surprised, actually. I was terrified that Lady Shinigami was gonna kill us!"

"She's too distracted by that damn protest rally of hers." Laith said dismissively, "Now she's on The Evil Plot of Cheerleaders to Take over the World by Subliminal Messaging in Cheers, Men Who Refuse to Shave Their Backs but Insist on Going Shirtless in Public, Styrofoam, The Honda Element and the Scion xB."

"Huh?" Banshee mumble numbly, looking very, very confused, "Why the Honda Element and the Scion xB?"

"Because they look like cracker boxes." Laith said blandly.

"Ohhh…" Banshee said slowly.

-Outside KYS Studios-

"You've rounded up the renegade!" HeartofDragon shrieked upon seeing Jin.

"Well of COURSE!" Shinigami cried, still not relinquishing her grip.

"Hunneh? Could yeh leh meh go nah?" Jin asked offhandedly.

"DOWN WITH CRACKER BOX CARS!" UchinaTsuki screamed, waving a sign over her head.

"ONE SHOULD NOT GET SALTINE CRAVINGS JUST BY LOOKING UPON AN AUTOMOBILE!" Kinoshita Kristanite yelled, pumping her fist.

"IT'S A CONSPIRIACY I TELLSYA!" Kawazuki Manami cried, wavinger her sign so wildly it smacked a random passerby in the head.

"DOWN WITH STYROFOAM!" HeartofDragon screamed atop her soapbox, "IT NEITHER SNAPS, CRACKLES, NOR POPS!"

"IT IS THE DIET COKE OF PACKING PRODUCTS!" Shinigami bellowed into a bullhorn, "BUBBLE WRAP IS THE WAY OF THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE!"

"MEN WHO REFUSE TO SHAVE AND/OR WAX THEIR BACKS HAVE NO RIGHT TO GO TOPLESS IN PUBLIC!" Konomura Kiyoshi screeched, swinging his handmade sign over his head.

"THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE OUR EYES BLEED!" Duskmon Kimura roared in agreement.

"CHEERLEADERS NEED TO VANISH OFF THE FACE OF THIS EARTH!" TeenAnimeLover yelled brandishing her own sign that proclaimed "DOWN WITH THE BRAINDEAD, SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING BARBIE DOLLS!".

"THEM AND THEIR MIND CONTROLLING CHEERS!" Ashen Rose and BADDtotheproverbialbone'DL shrieked in concurrence.

"CHEERLEADERS ARE SELECTED AT BIRTH, GIVEN LOBOTOMIES AND HAVE MICROCHIPS IMPLANTED!" Shinigami and HeartofDragon bellowed, leaving Jin feeling slightly put out.

-Back In KYS Studios-

"Our next victim isss…SESSHOUMARU TAIYOUKAI! COME ON DOWN!" Banshee cried.

The silver haired husband of HeartofDragon glided gracefully to the stool and seated himself with poise.

"Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars! Know Your Stars!" Laith said calmly.

"Sesshoumaru…his real name is Mr. Robotron McSexbot!" Banshee said laughingly.

Sesshoumaru said nothing, but his eyes did narrow a little when he heard his little brother and, by the sound of it, Jaken and Rin, laughing at his expense somewhere in the audience.

"My name…is Sesshoumaru, you miserable fool." Sesshoumaru said in a dangerously soft voice.

"That's not what the Muffin Man said." Laith said smirkingly.

"…Muffin Man?" Sesshoumaru asked disinterestedly.

"Sesshoumaru…he's being stalked by the Muffin Man-!" Banshee began giggling.

"-whom Jin the Wind Master lives in absolute fear of." Laith finished.

"…whom is this Muffin Man of which you speak?" Sesshoumaru asked, quirking an eyebrow slightly, "…and why would Jin fear him?"

"Sesshoumaru…" Banshee pressed on, ignoring the lord of the Western Lands, "…he has a sick obsession with his uncle's feet."

That did it. Sesshoumaru's normally calm, composed face contorted in to an expression of just barely contained rage.

"Say that again." Sesshoumaru hissed.

"Those corns, those bunions…those pus oozing sores, the fungus infected toenails…" Laith said in a seductive tone.

"Bet you're getting hard huh?" Banshee snickered as Sesshoumaru's eyes glowed red.

"You. Will. Die. Now." Sesshoumaru snarled, beginning to transform into his truest form.

"I don't think so." Laith said calmly, pressing a button with the kanji for bean on it.

A hail storm of sealing sutras rained down on the demon lord halting the transformation and pinning him to the stool.

"Now then…" Banshee snickered, "Sesshoumaru…he wuvs his widdle bwudda to iddy biddy pieces!"

"I dare you to say that again." Sesshoumaru growled as the sounds of Inuyasha gagging could be heard emanating from the audience.

"In fact…he would do absolute anything, including giving homeless ducks blowjobs, if it made Inuyasha happy." Laith smirked.

Sesshoumaru was far past his breaking point as a loud crash was heard as Inuyasha fainted and fell down the bleachers.

"Why, back when they were children, Sesshoumaru would even climb into the bath with widdle Inny!" Banshee coeed in a sickeningly sweet tone, "Even when Inny chan was perfectly capable of washing himself he STLL inisted on licking his baby brother clean!"

"Isn't that sweet boys and girls?" Laith smirked as Yaoi fangirls everwhere began screaming/fainting with joy and Inuyasha went into a horror induced coma.

"Now You Know….Sesshoumaru!" the pair sang, punching the Eject button together, sending the demon lord outside the studio to join his wife in her protest rally.

"And Now we go to our temporary Field Correspondent, Loki!" Banshee cried as the big screen slid down from the ceiling.

"Loki, who do you have for us today?" Laith asked calmly.

"Hey all you KYS fans!" Loki smirked out at the audience, "Do I have a treat for you! Today, I'm slamming the one, the only, Jelly Jiggler!"

The blue man-thing, sitting in a chair that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere, waved casually from behind Loki who whirls around and wastes no time getting right to it.

"Jelly Jiggler, I am your father!" Loki said, holding a Darth Vader Mask, complete with voice changer, over his face.

"Oh my god- WHAT ARE YOU ON?" Jelly Jiggler screamed, leaping from the random chair, "IT'S NOT TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE!"

Immediately. Jelly Jiggler started spazzing out, wriggling and shaking like an effed up Jell-O mold.

Loki, smirking in a way that was all too reminiscent of his employers Shinigami Goumon and HeartofDragon, pulled out a blow gun and shot three loaded darts into Jelly Jiggler's thigh.

He didn't pass out, instead, he walked back to the chair robotically and took a seat.

A huge grin on her face, Loki cleared his throat preparing to begin…only to start gagging, falling to all fours and hacking up a hairball (ICKY!) That squared away, he was ready to begin.

"Know your stars! Know Your Stars!Know Your Stars!" Loki said smilingly, "Jelly Jiggler…he has a deep seated fear of office supplies."

"STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPLERRRRRRRRRRS!" Jelly Jiggler screamed, going into what was sure to be a long winded rant, "PAPERCLIPS! THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME! PUSHPINS! TAPE! PENCILS! PENS! BRADS! HOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE PUNCHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS! YES! I DO fear them! FEAR THE AWESOME POWER OF OFFICE SUPPLIES!…especially paper clips…"

Loki looked out at the audience wryly.

"If it weren't for the fact that I get paid, I would have shot myself by now." He said, shaking his head.

"Jelly Jiggler…" Loki said again, a small smirk appearing on his lips as an idea formed in his head, "His REAL name is…GEORGE W. BUSH!"

"Lies! LIES I say! LIES!" Jelly Jiggler cried, going completely spastic.

"God…this guy must King Spazmo of Tard-shire." Loki snickered as Jelly Jiggler smashed himself into a wall, making Loki and the members of the audience burst into hysterical laugh at his misery and woe.

"Jelly Jiggler…he's allergic to bellybutton lint." Loki snickered digging some out of his own bellybutton (EWWWWWW!) to demonstrate.

Jelly Jiggler, or George W. Bush to be accurate, began sneezing repeatedly.

"FLAN WILL ACHOO CONQUER THE ACHOO ACHOO ACHOOO UNIVERSE!" Jelly Jiggler declared.

"Oooof course it will, Georgey Porgey." Loki smirked, "Ahem…Now You Know…George W. Bush."

(A/N: Whose Up next? Will Shinigami And HoD come off strike? R&R!)