Alright, #7 coming up. Come to think of it… this chapter is going to be pretty interesting to write… from what I recall at this moment, most of the humor in this part had to do with Asuka's strong personality clashing with Shinji's weak one… This means… I get to make more stuff up… is that good or bad…? Can't tell yet. Oh well… better stop stalling and get to work… Oh yeah, one more thing, this damn thing keeps messing up my punctuation. I don't know how it'll look after I post but, if I'm missing a whole lot of question marks or something, it's not my fault
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"You've got to be kidding!" Asuka yelled, still not over the initial shock of Misato's announcement. "Live together for five days? We're of the opposite sex!"
"Misato… WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Shinji wasn't taking it much better.
"What are you so upset about?" Misato asked, puzzled at their outburst. "This is an operational necessity! You two must be in perfect harmony! Training all day together isn't enough! We need to synchronize your biological rhythms as well. So you're going to sleep together, eat together, and train together -- that's all. What's the big deal?"
"Sleep together?" Asuka yelled.
"There are two beds." Misato said.
"TRAIN?" Shinji shouted.
"Yes, train. Stop being so lazy, Shinji! You have to do some training every now and then."
"What the hell! Is this supposed to be punishment for losing earlier? Cause if it is, I'm so not losing again!" he complained.
"That's the spirit!" Misato said and thought 'Alright! This is payback, Shinji!'
"B - but -- what if Ikari gets horny in the middle of the night!" Asuka panicked.
"Damn it Misato! Why am I being locked up for five days with such a huge pervert!"
"Me! You're the pervert!"
"What are you talking about! I've yet to do a single perverted thing since I got here! You, on the other hand, have been going on non-stop!"
"Why you…"
"See, you're getting along fine already! I'm sure you have everything here that you'll need, but if there's something I missed, call me over the intercom. Wakeup call is at 6:30 AM. G'night!" Misato said and was about to leave.
"Wait a minute…" Shinji muttered.
"Huh? What is it?" Misato asked.
"I get it now… This is payback, isn't it! Damn you! I'll make you suffer for this one!"
"Ahh!" She screamed and ran out as the door closed behind her, keeping him caged in. 'Oh crap…' Misato thought as she slumped against the wall. 'I just locked Asuka in a room with him… Technically that's not murder… right!'
"Reality has become a nightmare!" Asuka despaired, unaware of the danger Misato thought her to be in. "beating the angel can't be worth it… Arggggh! If only I could be cooped up with Mr. Kaji! But Shinji!"
"You do know that if the angel wins, we all die and everything and everyone you know will be completely obliterated, right?'
"Of course I know that you idiot!"
"Oh, okay, just checking." He said and fell onto the bed opposite her.
"Hmph! I'm going to take a shower." She said and stood up. She walked to the bathroom door and turned back to tell him "Let me remind you… No peeking."
"See! You are a pervert!"
"Why do you keep saying that!"
"Heh heh heh… I was hoping you'd ask…" he chuckled.
'Why did I do that…?' Asuka admonished herself.
"In this world," Shinji began. "There are many humans in life. There are just as many viewpoints on that life. Why, you might ask? It's because everyone taints the reality of existence by comparing everything to themselves."
"So what does that mean?"
"You didn't get it? Maybe Ritsuko lied…"
"Well! Are you going to tell me or what!"
"Sigh… Fine, I'll simplify it for you. You see everyone the way you do because of your inherit traits. Henceforth, you yourself are a pervert."
"Why you! I am not a pervert!"
"If you say so…"
"Hmph!" she huffed and walked into the bathroom.
'This is gonna suck…' Shinji started thinking and sighed heavily. 'What kind of moron decided this was a good idea? Then again… at least it's better that this is with Soryu. If this was with Ayanami… I doubt I'd survive long enough to actually fight... Come to think of it… why in the hell did she get so violent! One minute she's quiet and calm and all of a sudden, she's throwing things at me! What did I say to get her like that? Whatever it was, I'd better avoid saying it to Soryu, there's no telling how bad she'd get… I wonder if she's just repressed after being stuck with the commander so long…'
"Shinji." She called out from the bathroom door. "Sorry to keep you waiting! I'm all freshened up! ♥" 'I'll prove he really is a pervert!'
He looked towards her and saw her in what appeared to be only a towel. "You're done? My turn." he walked past her and headed into the bathroom.
"Umm… So, how do I look?" she asked, surprised that he had basically ignored her.
"Like a girl in a towel."
"Is… is that it?"
"A perverted girl in a towel."
"Oh, I see… it seems you have no interest in women…"
"No, that's not it… I wonder though, does a guy have to be a pervert in order to be considered straight?"
"Uh…"
"And I know you're not naked so stop acting like it."
"What! There's no way you can tell!"
"So… you're telling me you routinely walk around nearly naked in front of guys you barely know?"
"No way!"
"Then…?"
"Argh! Just shut up and go away!" she finally shouted.
"Fine… but no peeking!"
"Why you…"
'Heh…' Shinji thought once he was in. 'This might be fun after all…'
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"Now, what you're looking at is the choreography to the dance you're going to practice. Got that?" Misato told the two the day after. She was met by a pair of blank stares. "You're going to memorize this by heart." She continued, unfazed.
"A dance?" Asuka asked.
"Dressed like an idiot…?" Shinji said.
"Quit complaining!" Misato shouted. "Appearance is vital in order to create the mood for this kind of thing!"
"Mood… So you're saying, Misato, that you're willing to risk your life in order to create mood…?"
"The enemy shares one mind with two bodies, so it's vital you two learn to move in unison. Memorizing an attack pattern based on music is the quickest way to master perfect harmony. We've only got four days, remember?" she said.
"I chose the music and did the choreography, by the way." Kaji said as he walked in.
"Mr. Kaji! ♥" Asuka squealed.
"I can do this by myself." She told him.
"Now, now…" he said.
"Let's practice the first part then, listen carefully… and begin!"
And so the dance of death commenced. Asuka moved with all of the grace and poise of a born dancer. Shinji with all of the grace and poise of… a drunk bear…
"Uh… umm…" Kaji muttered, trying to find something, anything positive to say about the situation.
"Well?" Misato asked him. "Looks like this will take more time than I thought."
"This is almost frighteningly bad…" he said as Shinji fell again.
"Three straight hours of practice to start…" Shinji complained.
"What are you whining about! It's only difficult because you're a klutz! It would have been perfect if I were by myself."
"Yes… what a great idea… you really are a genius…"
"What the heck are you saying now!"
"It can't be that hard to synchronize with yourself, can it…?"
"Why you arrogant…!" she began to yell before being silenced as his gaze hardened and looked past her.
"Oh… Commander." She muttered as she realized who it was.
"How's it going?" he asked, mainly directing his question at Asuka.
"We'll definitely win four days from now!" she answered him.
"I see. I'll be looking forward to it." He told her and walked away.
"Commander!" Shinji called out to him.
"What is it?" he asked him coldly.
"After this one there's what, ten left?"
"Yes…" he answered.
"I hope you can get your affairs in order by then." He told him, his tone far colder than even the commander's.
"….." was all that he said as he watched his son walk away.
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"I can't believe Misato insisted we listen to this music even at night." Asuka complained as she grabbed a soda out of their mini-fridge and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I'm so sick of it. Aren't you, Shinji?" She noticed that he was staring up at the ceiling, apparently deep in thought so she decided to ask, "What's with you and your father?"
"Huh? What was that?" he said and sat up, pulling a pair of earplugs out.
"Your father," she repeated. "What's up with you two?"
"Father…? Oh, the commander… its nothing… how about you? How do you get along with yours?"
"I don't have a father." She stated.
"I see… so, were you grown or something?" he asked her.
"Yeah… something like that…" she answered him while Shinji thought 'The hell? I meant like a plant…'
"Ever heard of a sperm bank? My father was one of the sperm that my mother withdrew from the bank. I was conceived in a test tube."
"Oh..."
"My mother chose a very exclusive sperm bank. The donor passed a strict qualification test on academic background and character. Of course, the women who buy the sperm have to be similarly qualified as well." She went on.
'This is a very… strange conversation…' Shinji told himself.
"And my father was the best of them -- from a genius scientist. So I was born through the combination of an elite sperm and an elite egg. Which means… I was a chosen being, a special person."
"So that's why you told me… But how did such a dysfunctional person result from an elite sperm and egg…?"
"What was that!"
"You truly believe yourself to be superior to everyone else?"
"Of course! I was chosen from among many to be an Eva pilot… and I fight and defeat the angels… and if anyone acknowledges those accomplishments… then I'd be happy."
"I see… what about after?"
"Huh?"
"When there are no longer any angels to fight and no reason to pilot your Eva, what then? If that seems to be the only way to validate your existence, what will you do when even that is gone?"
"….."
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"Mommy…" Asuka whimpered.
'Huh…? Oh, she's talking in her sleep…'
"Mommy… why did you have to die…?" he heard her sniffling slightly.
'I see… She's still just a normal girl… despite her arrogance… That's good… she won't be completely useless to me…'
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On the day before the battle, training was as long and intense as was physically possible. Asuka followed the dance routine perfectly while Shinji… was… uh…
"Okay, stop!" Misato shouted. "Shinji, you haven't changed at all, have you?"
"Uh… umm…"
"Yes. It seems as though you have actually gotten worse, Ikari." Rei told him. She had been watching since the day before but the reason for which had yet to be explained to them.
"Ugh… probably… Asuka!"
"Yes…"
"How many times do I have to tell you not to leave Shinji behind! Try to synchronize with him."
"I can't do that -- you're asking me to lower my abilities to Shinji's level! Shouldn't he be getting in sync with me? Besides… why has the first -- Ayanami… been watching us since yesterday? It distracts me… how am I supposed to concentrate?" She complained.
"Sigh… Rei." Misato said.
"Yes."
"Could you try for a sec instead of Asuka?"
"Yes." She replied as she walked over to stand by Shinji.
"You understand what to do, right?" Shinji asked her.
"Yes…" she replied.
As the music began to play, the dance commenced.
"My god…" Kaji muttered. "I never thought I'd ever see anything as bad as Shinji's dancing, but… this is worse…"
"They both move like they're drunk but… look! They're moving exactly the same!" Misato told him.
"You're right… they even fell at the same time…"
"If Unit-00 weren't being repaired… we'd pair Rei with Shinji without a second thought." She said to no one in particular.
"Fine." Asuka said. "Why not just send her in my Unit-02?"
"Asuka?" Misato asked.
"Excuse me!" she shouted and ran out.
"Asuka!" Misato yelled after her but she was already gone.
"What the!" Shinji said as he saw her leave.
"Oh, god -- we don't have time for this!" Misato panicked. "So much for the jealousy gambit!"
"Shinji…" Kaji called out to him. "What are you doing? Go after Asuka."
"What…? B-but…"
"This is your job, too."
"… No way…" he said.
"Ikari, go." Rei ordered.
"Why should I?" he demanded.
"She is the only one you can fight with and I do not wish to be obliterated."
"No way." He said again. She walked up to him, placed a hand on his arm… and tossed him out the door.
"Now." She commanded.
"Ugh… fine…" he muttered as he got up off the floor.
"That was a strange sight…" Kaji told Misato.
"You'll get used to it." She told him.
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Out in the center of the Geo-front lay a huge garden. It was here where Shinji found Asuka staring into the water.
"Soryu…" he called out to her.
"What do you want? Why did you follow me?"
"Uh…" he said and thought 'Crap! What the hell am I supposed to say in this situation!'
"Why am I the one getting yelled at? I'm doing it perfectly. You're the bumbling klutz. You're the slowpoke. Why take it out on me!"
"Pathetic…" he said.
"What!"
"I said pathetic. You still don't understand do you!"
"Understand what!"
"We're not training to out-dance the enemy! This whole thing is about synchronization! The reason you think you're doing well is because you can already dance. This isn't about that. It's about matching the exact movements of your partner in order to secure victory."
"I don't need your advice!" She shouted at him. "I'm going to become the greatest and there's nothing I need from someone like you!"
"Stop being an idiot!" he shouted at her, sounding angry now. Asuka, never having heard that tone of voice directed at her, complied.
"You're going to become the greatest? The greatest what… exactly? Because no matter what you decide to become the best at, I assure you it won't happen. Not the way you are now, anyway. When around Kaji, or Misato, or even the commander, you aren't even yourself. You lie to yourself and hide what you truly are. It is only those who can truly discover themselves that are capable of being crowned the greatest. You, on the other hand, have a long way to go…"
"Oh shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" She yelled. "You have no right to say this to me! Who do you think you are! You have no idea how much I've suffered! If I don't become the best, everything I've gone through will have been meaningless!"
"Ha ha ha…" Shinji laughed quietly then, spoke to her in the same cold tone he used with the commander when he promised to kill him. "No idea how much you've suffered? Do you have any idea what suffering is?"
"Of course I know! I've been experiencing it all my life!"
"You have no idea what it is!" He was undeniably angry now. "Oh poor you, you watched your mother die…! Is that the best you can come up with! I've seen my mother die, saw my bastard of a father abandon me! Suffered abuse, neglect and torment almost non-stop until I came here and was then ordered to fight to the death against those like myself! If you can ever somehow match this, then you are welcome to say you've suffered! Until then don't talk about things that are far above your league! There is no need to return if this is your decision. I'll fight alone if I have to. It's better than with dead-weight hanging around." He walked away and left her to her thoughts.
'Heh… not bad, kid…' Kaji said from his hiding place behind a pillar.
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"Asuka… She didn't come back after all." Misato said. She was sitting with Ritsuko and Kaji in the lounge. "The battle is tomorrow, but they're still not in harmony with each other. What a disaster. Maybe we should just go with Shinji and Rei. Sure is risky though."
"Shall we do a run-up for Rei and Unit-00?" Ritsuko asked her.
"No." Kaji said. "It's still too early for that. One more night. Sometimes that's all it takes."
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'So, she's not coming back…?' Shinji thought to himself. 'I wonder were she went. Oh well… If her mind is so fragile as to be crushed by my words I guess she's of no use then… fighting's gonna be a pain, though… Maybe I went a little too far…? Then again, if I can piss her off enough to want to prove me wrong on everything, then I guess it was worth it…' His musing was cut to a halt as Asuka walked into the room.
"Soryu…?" he asked her, sitting up on his bed.
"Hmph…" she said and turned to look at him. "You think you can just say things to me?"
'Oh crap… Don't tell me I ended up doing to her what I did to Ayanami!'
"There!" she shouted and jumped up to smash the speaker hanging from the roof. Upon smashing into the ground, it was revealed to be a hidden camera.
'So she found it?' Shinji thought.
"What are you trying to do!" Shinji said frantically, expertly playing his part.
"Isn't it obvious? Training."
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"Huh?" Misato shouted in the surveillance room as her screen went dark. "What's with this? It suddenly lost visual. I'm going to check on them."
"Now wait." Kaji said. "Let's leave them alone… It would just be awkward if you went up there and…"
"What! You act like you know what the hell they're up to!" She shouted.
"Don't make such a scary face!" Kaji told her and grabbed her. "We can enjoy ourselves here… We're all alone you know."
"N…" Misato tried to protest. As Kaji slowly lowered his face to hers, she countered with a swift slap to the face.
"That hurt." He told her.
"It was supposed to!" she said and walked away towards the now-useless monitor. "What makes you think I've forgiven you?"
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"So… training is it?" Shinji asked Asuka as he stood up to face her.
"Of course! There's no way I'm letting you show me up again! If I run, I'll never become the best!"
"I see…"
"Yes! All you are…" she said, poking him in the chest with her finger. "Is another obstacle in my way to become the best!"
"Good job!" he congratulated her.
"What…?"
"You did figure it out! Now I'm impressed. It's exactly as you say. If you can prove me wrong, then you will be the best. Come on, let's get to work."
"Uh… right…"
"Okay, we'll do something a little different. No dancing, we don't have the time for it."
"What then?"
"Try this, at the count of three, I'm going to raise either one of my arms, you do the same. There's a fifty-fifty chance you'll lift the same one, right? So, statistically speaking, out of a hundred times, we'll lift the same arm fifty times. We'll keep going until we choose the same arm five-hundred times in a row."
"How is this going to help?"
"This should be impossible, right? But, if we actually do synchronize, we can just instinctually raise one arm and, since we'll be thinking the same, it'll be the same one as the other person, get it?"
"Yeah… somehow, that makes sense…"
Four hours later, Shinji raised his left arm, as did Asuka.
"Alright. That makes five-hundred." He said. "Now to the next part."
"There's more!" Asuka complained. "My arms are starting to go numb!"
"Stop complaining. This one will be a little harder." He held up his hand. "We have ten fingers each, from the right pinky, number them one through ten in your mind, alright? Now, close both fists and hold them both up towards me. There won't be anymore counting from now on. We should be at least partially in sync by now, so it won't be impossible."
"Why couldn't we have done this from the start!"
"You had to figure out the purpose behind the training yourself. Otherwise, it wouldn't work."
"Ugh… fine, what are we doing this time…?"
"Like I said, since we have ten fingers each, there's a ten-percent chance of guessing right. Not only that, but there won't be a cue as to when to lift a finger. Just imagine in your mind when you think I would do it, then throw out the same one. This time, we'll keep going until we hit ten-thousand in a row."
"Ten-thousand!"
"Yes. Now, we don't have much time so let's start."
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"Targets have passed the Goura absolute defense line!" the report arrived. "Currently on a mountain course towards Tokyo-3! Targets have entered point zero!"
"Damn! Three hours earlier than the Magi expected…" Misato said. "What about the Eva's?"
"We're prepared for launch." Maya said, "but the pilots are still…"
"Damn!" Misato shouted as she ran down the corridor. "What the hell are they doing? Shinji! Asuka! Time for battle, are you -- GACK!" She shouted as she saw them both sleeping on the ground.
"Why are you still sleeping!" She shouted as she picked them up off the floor. "Didn't you hear the alarm! C'mon, change into your plug suits."
"Sleeeepy…" Asuka complained as she was dragged behind Misato.
"Please! You have got to get up!" She begged.
"Passage clear. All green. Eva Units-01 and -02 ready for launch."
"Arggh!" Misato shouted back on the bridge. "This is doomed. There wasn't time for any last-minute practice!
"It's okay Misato, don't worry. Our unison is already perfect." Asuka reassured her.
"What!" Misato asked. At her words, both Shinji and Asuka raised their right hands towards the monitor at the same time. They both closed their fists and proceeded to throw out twenty random combinations of the five digits in a space of about ten seconds.
"What…?" Misato said, not understanding what they had just done.
"Just trust us, Misato." Shinji said as the two units were launched.
"Purge external power source!" was shouted as the two reached the surface. The catapult tossed them up into the air, several hundred meters above their opponents.
"Start the music!" Misato commanded as the battle begun. The two Evas, having reached the end of their upward trek, angled downward towards both halves of the angels leading with their right knees into their mask.
"Wow! Perfect harmony!" Misato commented.
"This looks good!" Ritsuko added.
As two rifles appeared, both grabbed them, and turned facing forward, opening fire at the same time. Taking long range fire, the angels responded in kind, firing twin lasers from their faces at their enemy.
The two who were fired upon somersaulted backwards, avoiding the beam by simultaneously stepping on a switch to raise a hidden shield. Taking a rifle each from behind the barricade, they dodged towards the sides and fired again.
The angels, however, anticipating this course of action, leapt forwards and sliced through the shield.
"Cover fire! Full barrage!" Misato shouted as the two Evas staggered backward.
As the smoke from the missile onslaught began to clear Asuka yelled out "Shinji!"
"Got it!" he answered her.
They ran towards their enemy and once again took to the sky. Somersaulting forward to gain momentum, they extended their bodies while inverted, twisted around to redirect that momentum, and angled forward with their right heel aimed towards their foes. As the distance between the four combatants dissipated, the feet of both Evas connected solidly with their opponents. The red hit the core, the purple in the face. As they jumped backwards with their final dregs of power, Shinji was heard shouting "Damn it! I missed!"
The enemies were launched backward by the powerful strikes and, while damaged, were already regenerating.
"Hurry!" Misato shouted. "Get to the umbilical cables!"
As the two ran towards them, the angels saw their enemies' objective and obliterated it with a well placed laser blast.
"Both units have gone completely silent!" the command center was shocked into paralysis as the situation was announced.
"Can we sent out Unit-00!" Misato demanded.
"No!" Ritsuko answered. "It is currently under repair and is completely immobile!"
"My god…"
"What!" Misato shouted as Unit-01 stood again. "What's going on!" She demanded. Her answer, however, soon became clear.
As the great purple behemoth stood, it roared out in defiance against its enemies.
"It's gone berserk!" Ritsuko shouted.
"Shinji!" Misato shouted into the intercom.
"I… will not… be defeated… again…" they heard his voice. What shocked them, was the low, almost feral growl in which the words were delivered. The beast roared again as communications were cut.
It charged forward in a mad rush and struck one of the halves, sending it flying backward into a building.
The second rushed forward and stuck in the same way it shredded the barrier earlier. The purple leviathan raised a single arm to block the attack, the blades cut deep into its arm, but not through. Its pulled its arm back, dislodging the angel and, reaching forward, the angel's mask-like face was grabbed from both sides. Placing a massive foot on the angels chest,it unleashed a mighty roar, tore the face from its enemy's body.
The first, having recovered, sliced into both sides of the Eva's neck. As blood spurted from the would-be fatal wounds, the now blood-soaked titan smashed its head into the enemy behind it, bending the armor dangerously close to the entry plug.
As the two angels fell back to asses the situation, the dreadnaught which was Unit-01 walked forward, despite its various wounds which bled off gallons of pseudo-blood.
The two angels fired with their lasers at the one before them. The beams sliced though the oncoming enemy in the shoulder and stomach, but it would not be stopped.
It went from a slow walk into a full-on charge and, with both arms extended, buried its hands into the angels' torso, a blood-red core gripped in each.
The two struggled wildly to free themselves but, at a strange-sounding roar from Unit-01, they were calmed.
They stared into the demonic visage before them for several long seconds and, in unison, bowed their heads as their cores were crushed.
If it could be seen, the purple Evangelion seemed to nearly revel in the flames which engulfed it. Almost as if this blaze would cleanse its soul of the sins it had committed.
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"This situation was not foreseen." Kiel said.
"Yes… Unit-01 was not to go berserk for this encounter…" another answered.
"Ikari! You are to monitor the pilot more closely from now on." A third informed the commander of NERV.
"It seems that he is a greater threat than we at first suspected if he can do that at will."
"There is no need for concern." Gendo told the committee. "I have already placed a spy to keep a close eye on him."
"A spy?"
"Yes."
"This is acceptable. Do not forget that we shall hold you responsible if anything causes a problem with the scenario."
"I understand."
To be continued…
How was that? I know this part is supposed to be mostly meaningless comedy but, I thought this ending would work better with what I'm going to do later on. As for the hand-training thing… I don't know… I made it up on the spot so I wouldn't have to write about dancing anymore… umm… yeah… Oh and uh… it seems as though I'm going to have to switch over to the anime after this chapter because uh… my supply of the manga has kind of run out. No one out there would have any idea where I could find it online, do they? I was going to switch over eventually but I didn't want it to be this soon… Come to think of it, everything I can remember reading that was about this battle always had them win… It reminds me of in how in anime or video games when a character gains some crazy new power and completely destroys the opponent but in the next episode, however, it doesn't work anymore… how strange… Uh… if I missed anything or whatever then… just let me know. Review if you want… to live.
Later!