Chapter 1
To start with, I need to give readers two quick warnings.
Warning 1: This story is about Harry's first year, and yet it has an M rating. This is not because I have eleven-year-olds doing sexual stuff, that's not it at all. Harry just indirectly causes of-age wizards and witches, mostly witches, to get freaky. That's it, pinky-swear!
Warning 2: At this point, I have no plans to make a second year fic and only a very rough outline of what that second year could bring. This story is still worth reading for the humour however, at least I think so. This was never intended to last all seven years, but I still feel it is worth sharing. Just be warned there is no conclusion at the end.
The-Boy-Who-Lazed
One could say that Harry Potter had an unusual upbringing, and they'd be right. But the lessons he'd learned were not what one might suspect at first. You see, Harry had quickly figured out he wouldn't be loved at number four Privet Drive, so he'd stopped working for that. He'd also figured that whatever jobs he did for his relatives, it would never be good enough. He did study at school though; that was an investment for the future, he wasn't going to be a manual labour kind of guy, not him.
Years before he'd ever heard the term net gain he learned the concept and how it applied to him. He would not gain anything by working harder for the Dursleys, so why bother? In fact, he only worked the bare minimum that would still pass muster. The one redeeming quality he gained because of his attitude is that Harry learned about efficiency. He wasn't going to be lazy with the work he couldn't skip, that would be stupid, that would incur penalties.
This culminated in a care-free attitude with an approach to manual labour that was just shy of non-existent. His problem solving skills however, were great. In fact, the amount of motivation he could dredge up for figuring out how to do the most with the least amount of work was staggering. Give him something to do and he'd first ask himself, what is in it for me? Quickly followed by, how do I do this right? Why did he want to do it right? Because failing something means you have to do it again and that was not something Harry was willing to do.
Being a carefree person, Harry did not easily lose control of his emotions. Nobody even picked on him because he usually didn't even bother to respond. As such, he was floored to receive a letter to a magical school. He'd never done magic as far as he knew.
'What is in it for me?' Harry thought as soon as the shock had worn off, and he'd decided that yes, he'd treat this as the real deal. Even if not true, it was a nice fantasy to indulge in.
Harry quickly thought up scenarios in which magic could help him with his chores. Then, he thought outside of his box, so to speak. The things he came up with were nothing short of glorious. 'That's some gains, but what are the costs? There's a lot of learning to be done I suppose. Being a wizard can't be easy. But hey, how hard can it really be? Those efforts will also be for me for once, not for others.'
The net gain already seemed worth it and besides that, he'd also be freer from the Dursleys. 'Easy choice then. I suppose I should send a letter back.' That was easier said than done, as there was no return address on the letter. He just addressed it to Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall, nicked a few stamps and sent it out in the mail. He didn't know if that was enough, but the effort was worth the potential gain.
-X-X-
A week later, Minerva McGonagall showed up, apparently the letter had arrived. Her arrival was quite a shock to the Dursleys, who'd not gotten the memo from Harry. This started a shouting match between Vernon and McGonagall, with Harry watching on amusedly. Petunia eventually managed to intervene and dragged Vernon off. When they got back, Harry had to leave to go to Hogwarts.
"Mr. Potter, that was an incredibly rude reception, why didn't you tell them before that I'd be coming?" McGee asked him outside with a sour expression that was supposedly strict, not that Harry cared.
"Sorry ma'am, but this was the only way I could have a chance at going. They make it a priority to quash any fun in my life, if they'd known how badly I wanted this, there's no way I'd have been allowed to go. Forcing you in that conversation made them reconsider their priorities. Besides, I was half of a mind this was one elaborate prank. I mean, magic, really?"
"A prank?! Have they not told you about your parents?" Minerva asked aghast.
"Drunk driving accident, right? Not like it matters, they're dead anyway." Harry countered, not bothered in the least. He'd long since accepted his lot in life.
"No! Your parents were no drunks. They were killed by an evil dark lord. You're famous because you lived that night."
"An evil dark lord? That's such a cliché!" Harry laughed. "What do you mean famous?"
"Your name is known throughout the world, that scar is famous." McGee said, pointing at his forehead. "People are expecting great things from you, which might not be fair really."
"Ha! I'll show them! I'm amazing at blowing all expectations. They'll soon learn never to overestimate me again." Harry said with enormous conviction for an eleven year old.
McGee looked at him with an incredulous expression. "What has Albus done?" She muttered. Before grabbing him and squeezing him through the universe.
"What in hell's name was that?" Harry asked McGee after throwing up his meager breakfast.
"That was apparition, Mr. Potter, but you might know it as teleportation. We're in London now."
"You're telling me we travelled so many miles in a second? That's amazing!" Harry said. "Just for that, becoming a wizard might be worth it."
McGee shook her head, evidently not believing something about his reaction. She waved her wand and made a hat appear out of nowhere. "Put this on Mr. Potter, we don't want you recognized."
Harry complied and was led into a dingy pub called the Leaky Cauldron. Once he'd gotten over his joy seeing Diagon Alley for the first time he asked McGee to explain the classes to him.
"So you're telling me that astronomy has few practical uses outside of rituals that are forbidden by ministerial decree?!" Harry asked after they'd left Gringotts. Harry had really liked the efficient little creatures, the goblins didn't brook nonsense either.
The money he was told he had inherited put a lot into perspective. If he didn't have to work for the rest of his life, then he wouldn't work for the rest of his life. But he'd also learned that schooling was mandatory if he wanted to keep doing magic.
She rather reluctantly nodded. He'd been asking questions like that to determine the net gain of learning each individual class. He thought he had a good grip on the classes. Now it was time to put things into perspective.
"And how should I be scoring to pass this school?"
"It takes a minimum of three OWL's," McGee admitted.
"So that's Charms, DADA, Transfiguration, with Potions and maybe Runes and Arithmancy as backup. The rest don't matter, got it."
"That's not what I meant, Mr. Potter, but I'm sure that won't change your mind."
She'd gotten his measure fairly quickly, Harry decided. "May I ask why you have decided on those?"
"I don't care about stars, history, or animals and I don't like gardening. I know muggles and can already tell that Divination is going to be a load of crock." McGee actually nodded at that.
"That leaves the courses I just named. Now I only need three, but the rest also take my interest. I'm quite motivated to learn all the useful practical stuff and learning how to create a new spell is also interesting. Potions sound like cooking and I've always liked cooking, that might become my favorite subject I think. Besides that I'll figure out some side projects early on. There has to be ways to make that apparition easier for example. I'll google it."
"Google it? What does that mean Mr. Potter?"
"It's muggle slang for 'look it up,' ma'am." He decided to translate.
"That is actually well thought out, Mr. Potter, and I'm sure all magicals will thank you for that." She said approvingly. "But you might want to reserve judgement on Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. Now, let's get you your books."
Inside Flourish and Blotts, Harry argued against getting books for the useless stuff and for getting a head start on his future courses. McGee only budged on the extra books, saying that all books are mandatory. "Whatever." Harry grunted in response. "You already know I'm going to do nothing for those courses right?" He asked her, one eyebrow raised.
"Yes, Mr. Potter. I'm quite aware. But there are rules." McGee sighed.
"Rules eh, thanks for reminding me. Can you please tell me all the rules of Hogwarts? Or get me a copy or whatever. That way I can do the least with the least amount of trouble." Harry smirked.
McGee just sighed again, and pointed him towards another shelf. Harry got a compendium on Hogwarts and a book on the rules of the wizarding world itself.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, aside from getting a wand. Ollivander got excited, matching him to a Pine wand with Phoenix core, telling him that it was very suited for non-verbal work and creative magic.
Hearing about non-verbal magic appealed to Harry who was very eager to not say stupid sounding spells aloud. McGee had already given him 'Wingardium Leviosa' as an example of a typical spell. Imagine saying stuff like that day in day out, no thank you. Then and there, Harry decided he would learn that immediately, to the amusement of McGee and Ollivander. Maybe McGee did not have him pegged yet after all. Ah, he'd show them all.
"Well, it was an eventful day. See you at Hogwarts then, Mr. Potter." McGee told him when they got back at Privet Drive with all his new stuff.
"Thank you, professor. I'll look forward to it." Harry answered before she popped away.
Getting back to his room with his enchanted trunk in one hand, no way was he going to pass up those feather light and expansion enchantments, he dropped his stuff and went to find his aunt.
"Aunt, we've got some rules to set." He'd found out long ago that his aunt brooked no nonsense; Petunia looked at him and nodded.
-X-X-
The negotiations had proven fruitful and Harry was glad. Tomorrow, they'd drop him off in London in front of the Leaky Cauldron and he'd be back next summer. He'd also gotten his aunt to help him find makeup to hide his scar for twenty quid. Harry had money to burn now, though luckily, his relatives didn't know that.
This way, they'd be rid of him now instead of only when his school started. Harry reckoned that Vernon would be ecstatic hearing that. Just as he was glad to be leaving.
In the Leaky, Harry hired a room for the rest of August, being careful to conceal his scar first. The owner, Tom, apparently didn't find it strange to have an eleven year old staying there alone. Asking Tom if he wouldn't mind a few questions, he fired away.
Harry already knew that using magic outside of school was illegal according to McGee, but who would know? Tom told him that as long as he was with other magic users, they wouldn't.
Then he asked about non-verbal magic, which Tom didn't know much about; this did not stop him from telling Harry all he did know though.
No way did phonetic sounds represent the arithmantic structure of spells, Harry couldn't believe that. If you could use math to spell then languages would be way more erratic and bad sounding. Besides, it was possible to drop the verbal incantations, proving it to be nothing more than a crutch. Tom even told him the incantations often correspond with Latin, if that wasn't a hint to the truth then Harry wasn't lazy. Then again, Harry had already noted that magic users had a different opinion of what was considered lazy.
Thanking Tom, he went to his room to practice, and lo and behold, nobody came to arrest him.
True to form, Harry worked efficiently, learning only the things he was interested in. Not bothering with all the useless information that came with spells, he just studied the theory, the execution and the uses.
The standard book of spells seemed most relevant and useful to start with. It didn't take him long to master Lumos, first with incantation and then without. There was no wand waving required so this was a good first test. Moving on up Harry learned Diffindo, the severing charm and Reparo, the mending charm. These had to go together because of logic and the wand movements were fairly easy too, just a switch and a flick respectively.
These were somewhat harder to master soundlessly but Harry persevered. Then he started to minimize the movements, something Tom called point-casting. Harry wouldn't have minded practicing a thousand times if afterwards no words nor movements were needed, but by making progress in increments he did it in a lot less, he only needed three days of four hours of casting to do them wordlessly and without movement.
Harry of course noted what worked and what didn't. So when he got to trying Wingardium Leviosa, the levitation spell, he imagined what he wanted and got results more quickly. By envisioning an invisible laser-like tether between wand and object he got what he wanted in three hours, which was quite an accomplishment considering there were double the movements and incantation length. That was even more proof for his theory that they were crutches.
Or Ollivander was right about his wand being good for wordless magic, Harry didn't care, as long as he could skip the boring words he couldn't be bothered with the why's of the thing.
Reading the textbook for Potions, Harry frowned. 'This is a recipe book, I need books on theory. I'm not going to memorize what direction to stir, how many times and when, if I can just learn the logic behind it.' Harry thought to himself, before promptly going out to buy said books.
The store manager's story baffled him. Was the magical world stupid? The man told him that only in fifth year were students expected to study up on theory, before that it was just following recipes blindly. His course book didn't even expound on the dangers that were surely inherent in a course that had so much in common with chemistry. No sir, not this kid. Harry was going to study potioneering before studying the potions themselves.
Looking through the books on potion making, Harry did manage to find a book that was suited for lower years theory. He couldn't for the life of him understand why that was not on the required book list to start with. Harry didn't stop there though, he bought the lot; space enough in his enchanted trunk. He also found a huge book called 1001 Spells and Charms that he took with him, it was bound to have some good ones in it.
Looking through thick books gave him his second project. He would invent his Google spell, a searching spell. Hunting down a book in the library would never be the same.
His studies continued for the rest of his days leading up to the first of September. Four hours a day for study and magic and the rest was for relaxation and good food. His magical prowess improved by a lot. By the time he was ready to go, he'd gotten 12 spells down silent and without movements, and an additional four that were half-way there.
-X-X-
He got Tom to call him a cab to the station and arrived with ten minutes to spare. McGee had told him how to get on the platform so that was easy, if a bit strange. Harry took one of the last carriages on the train and started to review his spell work. He estimated that he was a little ahead of the curve for now because he'd already gotten down the working of spells, or at least he felt he had a feel for them. Learning the rest should prove easier if they were of the same difficulty.
Just as the whistle signalled the train to start moving, three girls opened his compartment door and asked if they could sit with him. They were obviously first years just like him and Harry was happy to meet new people.
"Sure, it'll make the drive go by faster," he told them.
The girls had troubles lifting their trunks into the overhead compartments so Harry offered to help. The redhead of the group laughed. "Are you one of those strong boys my aunt said I should watch out for?"
"Nope, just look at these skinny arms." Harry laughed. "But I do know the levitation charm."
"Alright then," she said dubiously.
Harry pointed his wand and the trunk lifted into the air, just like that. Once it settled he did the other two, before noticing their awestruck faces. "What was that?! Shouldn't you say a spell or wave your wand to do that?"
"You can but you don't have to, it's just a crutch." Harry answered the girl.
"Whoa," the mousy blond one said. "Right?" The third with sleek black hair agreed.
"Wanna learn? I'm Harry by the way."
"Definitely. I'm Susan Bones, this is Hannah Abbott and Su Li."
"Right then, first you need to know the incantation and wand movements. It's Wingardium Leviosa, with a swish and flick like so, though it might be better to start with an easier one. Try this one, it's just Lumos with no wand movements, your wand should light up and then….."
Hours passed and Harry taught the girls two charms and the theory behind silent casting and point casting, highly simplified of course. Harry didn't believe in complicated explanations. There was no reason for him to help the girls like this other than that he wanted to see if they could do it too. Tom seemed to think most people couldn't after all.
Besides, Harry wasn't all that used to having friends and these girls he liked. Might as well help them out if he wanted to be friendly with them.
-X-X-
"How do you think we'll be sorted?" Asked Hannah Abbott to the three fellow first years in the boat.
"I don't know and I don't care." Harry declared lazily.
"How can you be so care-free? It might be bad, you might end up in a house you don't belong in." Susan asked him.
"Su, care to answer this one?" Harry asked the mostly silent black haired wonder.
"We don't know what it is so we can't prepare, no sense thinking about it." Su Li concluded. Harry liked her, she was smart and quiet, unassuming even. It would be very easy to be friends with all three he had decided on the train.
The discussion amongst the rest of the first years went along the same lines so their little group ignored them in favor of asking Harry what he was planning.
"Planning? I'm just going to study what I want to know, what is most helpful and not a single thing more. Unless it's needed to pass, of course." Thinking about it, Harry tacked on, "I can't be bothered to learn the stars or history if nothing about it is useful in the future. Also, I've got two projects in mind for later."
The girls all silently absorbed that lesson. They had come to admire Harry on the train and didn't want to dismiss his plans out of hand.
"Don't you want many OWL's and NEWT's then, just the necessary bits?" Su asked him. "Exactly, try asking a teacher or upper year student what is needed for different careers. I can tell you now, it's not going to be Astronomy or History if you want to be anything other than a teacher in those courses. Never mind that Divination's horseshit."
"And spending less time on subjects that don't matter means you get better scores in the ones that do!" Hannah figured it out.
"Maybe I'm being a bad influence on you girls." Harry backtracked. "You should first figure out the facts. See if those courses really are useless before you take my word for it."
"We should find out, all four of us together." Susan decided, not seeing Harry's expression. He wasn't planning to do extra work for nothing. 'Although, this should help us to become friends even more.' His frown quickly turned into a smile, something that didn't go unnoticed by Su Li.
Before she could say anything, the doors of the great hall opened. McGee arrived and addressed the first years. "It's time for the sorting, when your name is called, walk up to that stool and put the hat on your head. First up, Hannah Abbott!"
Hannah looked frightened but nevertheless walked up to the stool and put the hat on. Ten seconds later the hat opened its rim and shouted, "Better be, Hufflepuff!"
The progression continued. Susan joined Hannah in Hufflepuff and a bushy haired girl went to Ravenclaw soon followed by Su Li. Then it was his turn.
"Harry Potter!" The whole hall looked at him, trying to spot his famous scar, but that thing was buried under a layer of makeup so thick that the girls had asked him about it before, saying he looked pale. He just wasn't really good with makeup yet.
Walking up to the stool he heard the whispers from every side. "No way, he doesn't have the scar." Just before the hat sunk over his eyes he saw the headmaster look at him strangely.
'Ah, Mr. Potter I see. You're not what they're expecting are you?' The hat thought inside his head. 'Yes that's right, this is all in your head and so am I. Don't worry, I'll keep your secrets. My, my, you're not brave or cunning at all! Instead of charging in or using cunning you just do nothing at all. Hard work and brains only when it suits you, I see. No knowledge for knowledge's sake for you, huh? I see you've made friends, and you're even going to work for them. That decides it. Yes, make no mistake about it.' "Better be, Hufflepuff!"
The last was screamed loud through a pervading silence, startling some. The most startling however, was clearly his sorting. Nobody, it seemed, had expected The Harry Potter to be sorted into Hufflepuff of all places.
Luckily his new friends noticed the awkwardness and started clapping for him. His new house was the loudest of course. Harry joined Susan and Hannah at the table and looked out at the hall. Most were looking at him still. "Just ignore them, Potter." Hannah said. "Why didn't you tell us your full name, Harry? And where's your scar?" Susan asked, making nearby people listen in.
"I wanted to see if I could make friends without my scar butting in; I think I did." He smiled at his friends. "Besides, why would I want to walk around with an ugly scar like that, it's only a reminder of an evil dark lord killing my parents." That last remark got the people listening in to back off.
"Yes, you can be my friend, Harry." Hannah decided with a giggle. Susan nodded at that. "But how did you glamour that scar away, isn't that difficult magic?"
"It's not magic, it's muggle makeup, face-paint if you will." Harry explained.
One boy at the Gryffindor table heard and said loudly, "You use makeup, Potter, that's for girls isn't it, you a girl then?"
Harry wasn't bothered, at all. "Yes, I use makeup, got a problem with that?" There was no challenge in the question at all, just curiosity. The boy, seeing the better half of the hall looking at him, gulped and hastily shook his head before sitting down.
"You handled that very well, cousin, very admirable." An older girl with pink hair said from a few places down the table. "Thank you. Cousin, didn't know I had another one of those?" Harry said.
"Further removed down the Black line, don't worry, most wizards and witches are cousins one way or another. Name's Tonks by the way." Harry shook her hand which broke the ice between him and his house.
The food was good and the company better, Harry figured he could get used to this. Before they went to find their house's common room Harry learned that the boys sorted with him were named Ernest MacMillan, Zacharias Smith, Wayne Hopkins and Justin Finch-Fletchley. The girls of his year were Susan, Hannah, Sophie Roper, Lilith Moon, and Megan Jones.
The common room was opened by knocking the door in a rhythm, quite simple really, not at all like the Ravenclaw method of answering riddles. Harry would have hated that in short order. They were escorted to their dorms and after a short introduction talk by Madam Sprout, their head of house, Harry promptly went to sleep, it had been a long day.
-X-X-
The next day, Harry went down to breakfast with the rest of the first years, they had all waited to go together just as Puffs should. Breakfast was once again great, just simpler than the welcoming feast. Harry enjoyed it very much. A simple thing, eating in peace, but not for him at Privet Drive.
When Madam Sprout came by with their rosters, she told Harry that McGee had talked to her about his course plans, and that she would have a talk with him later. The rest of the first years were understandably curious so Harry told them what that was all about.
"So, basically you're not going to expend any effort at all for Herbology, Astronomy and History. You know Sprout teaches Herbology right?" Justin asked him.
"Exactly, and yes I know that, now." Harry told them. Justin just looked at him like he was crazy.
"Good luck with that talk, mate, rather you than me, I say." Zacharias laughed next to Justin.
"Don't worry, she'll have to deal with it. Nothing in the rules says I need to pass those."
"What rules?" Megan asked. Harry smiled at her. "They don't hand out the school rules to anyone, quite strange that. They're in a book I have, you can copy them later if you want."
"Alright. Hey, we should probably leave for classes now. Luckily we were handed those maps yesterday."
"First class is Herbology, great." Harry said, looking at his timetable, making the rest laugh. "You made your bed, now you have to lie in it." Ernest told him sanctimoniously, Harry just rolled his eyes.
Professor Sprout actually started with the basics, unlike potions. So they learned to pot ordinary plants and air the ground. Sprout eyed him like a hawk, thinking about his stance on what he called gardening. That's why she was surprised to see him finish his task in a brisk, efficient manner. He looked bored doing it, sat back, and opened his book to do some reading.
"What the hell was that Mr. Potter? You're a natural!" She said, making the rest of the class look up in surprise, only a few had begun the task at all. "Why do you say you don't want to expend effort here if you're so good at this?"
"I've done this way too much. I might be good at it but that comes at the expense of hundreds of hours of dreadfully boring work. Frankly, I absolutely loathe it. That's why I'll never enjoy working with plants, so you can forget about me being a good student here."
The whole class of Puffs and Claws awaited with baited breath to see the result of that last statement. Harry saw Su Li and her partner with the bushy hair looking at him too.
Pomona Sprout took a while to ponder the situation, this was a textbook difficult student, she couldn't even blame him, considering, far less put pressure on him to force him to put in the effort. There was another way though, even if it was a gamble.
"There's only one thing I can do in this situation. Mr. Potter, you are required to attend these lessons, so you'll be here either way. Would you consent to help the students out as my teaching aide during half the classes? The rest of the time you can spend however you want, you just need to be here five minutes before the class starts. In exchange you won't have to hand in homework. That does mean you won't get grades during the year. So you'll only get a grade at the end of year exams."
Harry though about it in his usual way, this time however, he did it out loud.
"So you won't require homework, which I wouldn't hand in anyway. I get to spend half the class doing what I want to in exchange for the extra five minutes if I help the students. Not only would that mean more contact with students and less reading, I'd also be helping people and you, meaning everyone is happy. Don't care about the grades, nor the exam, so that's irrelevant. Guess it's a good thing to do. Alright, you've got a deal Professor."
Now the whole class was gaping up at him, including Sprout.
"So where do you want me now, Professor, shall I go around and help the students?"
Sprout just nodded, her mouth still open. Harry laughed, breaking the spell on the class.
Harry immediately moved to Su Li and her partner, who was introduced to him as Hermione Granger. Both girls were very theoretical and could use his experience with manual labour. Not that he did it for them, no, that was not the point. He just told them what was what and gave them the confidence to do what was needed.
The class passed and so did the story of what happened. It was quite incredible how quickly the school was updated, not that Harry noticed. All it took was the students meeting other students between classes, the Ravenclaws were apparently scandalized by his behaviour.
History was next, a class shared with Gryffindor where Harry just read up on Potions for his next class. Halfway during the class, other students started imitating him, the ghost failed to notice.
Potions was an odd affair. After failing to answer a number of very specific questions and not at all acting any differently, Harry fired back his own questions.
"Professor, might I ask why we don't learn theory before starting to brew? Would you put a kid in the kitchen, give it a cooking book, and tell it to prepare a meal? No, you take the process apart and explain each step before you even let it look at the knife, otherwise it's bound to bleed out all over the kitchen table. That actually sounds a lot less dangerous than brewing potions." All this was said in a way like he was talking about the weather. Professor Snape did not react immediately.
What could a teacher say about a student that regarded the curriculum as backwards? Harry actually made one of the better potions in the class. At the end, Professor Snape asked Harry to stay behind.
"Why did you say that, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked surprisingly emotionlessly once they were alone, maybe he took Harry's cue in that regard.
"Professor, when I looked through the book, I saw a recipe that I didn't understand. Do you even know how incredible that is? I've been cooking or helping to prepare meals since I was four. How are students without those experiences supposed to do this then?" Harry asked the dour man.
"I mean, I know how to dice stuff, I can cut Brunoise, Julienne, Paysanne, Chiffonade, Bâtonnet, you name it. I love cooking, you see. But that potions book does not explain anything, it's just a recipe book, not a cookbook. The book does not take into account the level of the students." Harry ended his explanation.
Snape looked at him as if he was seeing a cat talk, they might miauw but they never talk.
"It's been a good while since I've heard logic like that." He said slowly. "Unfortunately, the exam standards are set by the ministry and at the end of the year you need to be able to adequately brew the potions described in the book. There's just not enough time to get it all done in time."
"That's just not true, Sir. I saw you watch the class like a hawk, constantly checking if we're not blowing ourselves up or doing something wrong. Imagine how much time you could save by starting with the basics. If you give the first years an additional hour a week to lecture about brewing procedures, techniques, general do's and don'ts and maybe assign another book on a voluntary basis, that would help them and by extension you, loads. If that's too much time investment for you, you could write a small syllabus that explains all that and recommends books. That's a one time investment of your time that might save you lots more along the way. Just think about it, Sir." Harry said and stood. Seeing no disagreement, he left for lunch.
As he walked towards his friends, he noted that everyone stared at him, again. "So, what's up with them?" He asked his friends, indicating the rest of the hall.
"Are you kidding me, you are fast becoming a legend in our year, how did it go with Snape? Did you get assigned detention?"
"What? No! I just gave him some tips, that's all." Harry said, getting him some disbelieving looks, especially from upper years. "Just gave him some tips," one scoffed loudly.
Afterwards in Charms, Flitwick does start with the theory, which Harry finds quite boring. Instead he reads his 1001 charms book whilst the lecture continues. Flitwick notices but doesn't say a thing until he let's the class try their hands at Lumos.
Harry still hasn't moved from reading as Flitwick comes to stand at his table. "Mr. Potter, is this one of those classes you don't care about?" Apparently he's heard from either McGee or Sprout already, probably both, as he doesn't sound mad at all. Everybody's watching now.
"Rather the opposite, Sir," Harry says, pointing his wand up and lighting it without saying a word.
"Merlin! How did you manage that?" A rather excited Flitwick says.
"Oh, I don't want to say all those silly sounding incantations all day so I practised. This was the one I started with, Sir."
"You can do more?" The part-goblin asks him expectantly.
Harry shows him the severing charm on his quill, the restoration charm to fix it and the levitation charm to let it fly. All of that should be enough, no reason to show it all. Of course Flitwick had noticed that he did forgo the usual wand movements as well.
"Mr. Potter, if you can keep up with the schedule in the manner you've just shown, you can do whatever you want in this class, within reason that is. I'd ask you to help tutor the rest like madam Sprout did, but you'd need to actually say the incantation and do the wand movements to help them. You wouldn't be willing to do that, would you?"
"Thank you professor, and no thank you professor." Harry said gratefully.
Flitwick smacked his head and turned around again. "You do realise the tests are standardized, which means you will get lots of theory questions wrong if you just skip all those steps. Do what you will with that information, mister Potter, but theory is about forty percent of your final grade."
Harry saluted the man.
"Only you Harry, only you." Megan Jones says from next to him. "Now, how did you do that?"
"Just say it softer every time without making it glow softer until you don't have to say a thing. Try it." He explained simply. At the end of the class, everybody could do Lumos and some like Megan could whisper the spell without sacrificing power. Flitwick was suitably excited to see first years tackle this sixt year skill. Especially with such limited instructions.
Harry just took it in stride when his classmates asked him to study on saturday to practice specifically silent casting without movements like he did.
-X-X-
The rest of the day and week went by in a blur.
McGee didn't really notice the difference, since he started transfiguration the same as the others, he just learned a little faster and said his incantations softer and with slighter movements. Not every teacher had it that easy though. The Astronomy professor Aurora Sinistra was not amused when Harry point blank refused to work in her class.
"What does this knowledge of the stars get me, professor?" He asked her when she wanted to know why he refused.
"The alignment of the stars are used in divination, herbology, most rituals, and the harvesting of certain potion ingredients." She said, a text book answer if he had ever heard one.
"Alright Professor, say I acknowledge that, what does it net ME? I don't believe in divination, I don't like herbology, most rituals are banned by the ministry and I won't go harvesting potion ingredients because I don't like plants. Mentioning potions ingredients is stupid anyhow since that is a part of herbology. So, knowing that, why do I need to learn this?"
When no answer was forthcoming Harry just sighed.
"Sorry madam, but I don't see the reason. If you can convince me that there's something in it for me then I'll learn. Good luck with that. In the meantime, I won't bother anyone here and just study in silence if that's alright with you. I know I can't just not come to classes so I might as well do something useful when I'm here."
Harry was very good at blocking other people out, he was not at all bothered to study amongst the busy students. In fact, ignoring the noise helped him focus. That was how he had learned after all, the Dursleys were not quiet people. He read his potions theory book in peace.
Saturday was fun. Fifteen students had gathered to learn how to cast silently and with no wand movement. They all looked at Harry expectantly.
"Everything you've heard about the difficulty of silent and point casting is a misconception. It's all in the head. Megan, can you please tell the group what I told you about silent casting?" Harry asked her, knowing she'd written it down and later memorized his one line. Megan was actually writing all Harry's tips down, it was quite funny actually, she'd also taken to his Potion suggestions like they were gospel.
"Right," she started, "all you need to do is start saying it softer and softer until you don't have to speak anymore."
Everyone looked at him again, looking for more probably. Well, they were in luck, sort of. He felt like Yoda, he didn't use too many words either.
"Substitute sound for movements and you got the rest." Harry added, still with Yoda in mind.
Still they waited.
"Eh, start with the severing charm and the restoration charm, those cancel each other out so that's helpful. So, to recap. Learn spells, learn less sound and movement, learn no sound and movement."
"..."
"Don't think about it, just do it. Get practising then, go on."
That finally got them started. Though some Claws did make it a point to tell him that he sucked as a teacher, even they started practising soon after.
Two hours in and most had made some progress, but the grumbling had started up again. Harry had given little to no help after his introduction to the matter, but they needed to understand, there was no shortcut.
"Alright, whoever here is complaining, raise your hand." Five people did, coincidentally, none of them from Hufflepuff. 'Stereotyping now, really?'
"You guys are not cut out for this, do you know why?" Without bothering to wait for an answer, Harry went on in that same tone, like he was talking about the weather. "Because you are strangers to hard work, that's why. There is no difficult theory, there is no trick. It's plain hard work and practice. Now get back to casting or get out, I've no mind to sit listening to lazy people bickering about not getting anywhere fast enough. You can practice on your own if you can't sit still for more than a minute. The only thing anyone can help the other with is the original incantation and wand movements, the rest is just plain hard work." None of this was said in an accusatory way, just a statement of fact.
They did not leave.
As people finally started to leave he was asked to make this a weekly thing, Harry agreed after only a moment of hesitation, he would work on his own stuff and it wasn't like he wasn't free Saturday mornings anyway.
-X-X-
"We're all here? Good, then let us start our first meeting of the official school year. How are the first years settling in, no homesickness yet?" The old headmaster asked his staff.
"Why don't we just head to the real reason for this meeting, headmaster?" Filius Flitwick suggested. "It's not like we're not all curious, to hear how he's been in other classes. I hear Pomona and Aurora have had a little trouble with young Mr. Potter."
"He's right, I admit. Harry is already proving to be a difficult student in my class, one of my own badgers no less! I've already had him remind me of the rules and make a deal with me." Pomona Sprout admitted with no small amount of frustration. "He's smart like Lily and stubborn like her but that's it, nothing like James at all."
"Now, now, it can't be that bad, can it?" Albus tried to calm the witch down.
"Didn't I already relay his words from his orientation, Albus? That boy is as stubborn as they come, and I can't even fault him for it." Minerva McGonagall reminded him.
"What did he say then, Minerva?" Bathsheda Babbling, the resident Runes professor asked.
"First he asked me to explain all the courses to him, interrupting each explanation with questions that inevitably asked about what the course could gain him. Then, when I was done, he just said: So that's Charms, DADA, Transfiguration, Potions, and maybe Runes and Arithmancy. The rest don't matter, got it."
"He what?!" Most of the faculty made their disbelief known. Severus uncharacteristically snorted.
"It's true. He basically just came out and told me that he wouldn't put in any effort in my class because it wouldn't net him anything. Then he cited that the rules only said he had to be there and not disturb the class, there's nothing in there about participation." Aurora Sinistra sighed. "Nothing I said or did made any difference, and he was right about the rules, I checked."
"H-H-How d-did he get t-the r-rules then?" Quirinus Quirrell asked.
"He specifically asked in Diagon alley, said it was stupid not to know the rules of the school he would be going to. You have to admit his reasoning is solid." Minerva said.
"Why then, did he ditch Herbology? That subject isn't useless?" Septima Vector, the Arithmancy Professor asked.
"Oh he told me alright. Said he absolutely loathed gardening because he had to do it so much as a kid. Try to argue against that! And then, at the practical part of the lesson, he did it in under a minute, like he'd done it all his life." Pomona cried at the injustice.
"Well, he did say he did." Severus said reasonably.
All the room looked at him. "Defending Potter's spawn, Severus?" Minerva gasped.
"Hmm, you'll love this, he used Lily's logic against me in class, and he was right. Said it was irresponsible to take kids that had never held a knife and tell them to start cooking a meal. Then after class, he told me that he loved cooking and that he had been doing it since he was four. He even got to eat some."
The staff that had already started grinning stopped at that. "Didn't you tell us he was with his loving family, Albus?" Flitwick asked the older man. "The kid looks underfed and too small to me."
"It was for his own protection, and it wasn't too bad, I had someone looking in on him periodically. Just a lot of chores really, taught him to work hard I imagine." He said the last part looking at Pomona, since he was a hard working Puff.
Some teachers still seemed skeptical so he tried to get the ball rolling again. "And how is Mr. Potter fairing in his other classes, the ones he does find useful?"
"My turn." Filius said with a chuckle. "Mr. Potter ignored my introduction into magic and afterwards when I asked him why, he told me that it was stuff he'd already covered. So I asked him to show me a Lumos, and he did by touching his wand. No incantation whatsoever."
"Can't be! That's a sixth year skill!"
"I asked him if he could do more, and boy could he! He took his quill, put it on the table and used a severing spell, a restoration spell and a levitation spell in short order. All of this without incantation AND without wand movement." After the clamour died down, Filius continued. "When I asked him how it came to be that he cast that way, he just said that he loved magic, but there's no way I'm going to go around saying silly incantations and waving my wand around all day. That's just not cool at all." He ended with a laugh. "Kind of what Severus always says."
Bedlam greeted his words.
-X-X-
The rest of the weekend was spent with his friends, mostly Susan, Hannah, and Megan from Hufflepuff coupled with Su Li and Hermione Granger from Ravenclaw. All of them were girls, he was quite aware of that. It wasn't like he didn't like guys as friends, he got along great with his housemates, it was just that he didn't spend a lot of his free time with them.
Su Li and Hermione did surprise him, both of them were very studious and unlike him put more emphasis on the theoretical side of magic. Sure, Potions needed theory too but that was more like a hobby for Harry. Still, they did seem to want to be friends and Harry liked them well enough. Su was nice and quiet and very observant. Hermione provided the perfect background noise to relax to, not that that was how she intended to come across, probably. Harry just thought he was being a friend to her just by not trying to change her.
Hermione was just telling the others about apparition after telling them that it was impossible in Hogwarts when Harry spoke up. "Why don't you try getting around that then? Like a project? I was already planning to revolutionize magical travel, apparition sucks."
"I don't know, it's supposed to be impossible you know, it says so in Hogwarts: a History." She said, already backing out.
"Don't House Elves pop around at will here? If that isn't apparition, maybe you should just learn that." Megan said. Megan was another half-blood, not that Harry cared about such things, but he'd already noted that they were the most accepting of well, everything, just like he was.
"See, there's your first hint, Hermione." Harry encouraged her, that girl needed a serious hobby, preferably an impossible one. "Maybe Su Li will help you," Harry added when he saw that she wasn't convinced. Su just looked at him with a hard stare and sighed.
Harry instantly felt a little bad and tried to tell her with his eyes that he'd help if needed. It was also supposed to be his project, not theirs, he shouldn't use them to get a head start. Su's eyes softened as she accepted that silent promise. 'Did we just have a silent conversation? That was cool!'
"Okay, shall we go now then, we need to research house elves." Su just stood and went with her.
"You know that won't hold her for long don't you?" Hannah asked him, eyebrows raised.
"I know, but she needs to go beyond books someday, why not today?" He said lazily, from his half sitting, half lying position.
"Harry, that was way too insightful, dumb it down already, it's the weekend for Merlin's sake." Megan joked, making Susan and Hannah laugh.
"Right, I guess I should start holding up my end of the bargain. Can anybody tell me about elves?" Harry asked them. Misinterpreting the looks he elaborated. "Just because Hermione only learns from books doesn't mean I have to learn that way."
"No we got that, we just didn't understand, why are you jumping onto this project?" Megan asked him for all of them.
"I kind of promised Su after tricking her into helping Hermione."
"When did you do that, we were here, weren't we?" Hannah asked laughingly.
"It was with looks." Several eyebrows rose, they had learned that from Megan no doubt. "No, I'm telling you that's how it went. Su's very good with non-verbal communication."
"Uh huh, well, let me tell you what I know then." Susan said. "We actually have an elf, she's called tipsy, …"
-X-X-
The next week went swimmingly, his teachers got to know him and slowly started to accept him, however reluctantly in the cases of madam Sprout and madam Sinistra. Even the teachers for courses he did practice in had to accept he didn't usually bother with frivolous theory. Snape started the week with writing down recommendations for books for beginners theory, there was even one book on the board that Harry didn't already have.
Madam Sprout asked him for a teacher student talk that went along the same way as his first Herbology lesson. She reluctantly agreed to a bargain dictated by Harry. He'd flunk History and Astronomy no doubt, Harry didn't even plan on writing anything on the tests, telling Sprout that definitely made an impression, she said she'd have a chat with Aurora about him not attending Astronomy.
The deal was that he'd continue attending History and Herbology, the first would be used as independent study and the second would follow their previous deal. In exchange for not attending Astronomy at all, Harry would make sure he'd get passing grades in Herbology until at least his OWL's. This deal was of course dependent on the acceptance of Aurora Sinistra. Sprout grudgingly admitted that she couldn't otherwise force him to put effort into his classes and that History was already informally accepted as self-study.
In the next Astronomy lesson, Sinistra admitted defeat after Harry destroyed whatever weak arguments she'd concocted to get him to study in her class. The day after that, he shook Sprout's hand to seal their deal.
Rumours about him spread and spread, and not about his scar or lack thereof either. No, the stories flying around the school were about his stellar performances in some classes and his refusal to perform in others.
That Saturday saw 45 students join their casting exercises, which meant some second and third years joined in as well. Megan had, without his input, figuratively then, decided to spread his tips around on a single sheet of paper. His Yoda style teachings fit easily and were passed around by his five girl friends.
Casting spells Silent and Without silly wand Swings. By Harry P.
Steps
spells with perfect incantation and movements.
spells more silently and with less movements, in that order. Repeat until 3.
spells.
Tips
Start with Lumos
Then Diffindo and Reparo
Then the rest
Nobody can help you except yourself after step 1.
There are no shortcuts. Practice makes perfect.
These were also written on a blackboard, where it came from Harry didn't know, probably his friends.
Most students just diligently took them, read them, and put them away. Some laughed and read them again more diligently. Others still scoffed and walked away, but not without the paper. Harry didn't even notice, he just started doing his own stuff, the lesson was on the board after all.
Harry did look up and blink twice when he saw Professor Snape walk in, take in the group and what it was doing, and leave again after looking at Harry with an expression that said nothing.
"That was weird." Said Megan from next to him, echoing his exact thoughts. She had gravitated towards him and his area of concentration, unlike Susan and Hannah who went around to help others make some sense of the instructions on the board.
Su and Hermione were also near Harry, practicing in relative peace.
Somehow, nobody bothered Harry where he was in the middle of the group. 'Maybe the word has spread from the last lesson. I'll just enjoy it while it lasts.'
Around him was where the most focus was and the least talk. Spreading outwards were people who were practising with friends; friendly banter got more and more prevalent the farther you got. At the edges were people that were still on step 1, learning new spells.
This setup was not structured at all, it just grew that way naturally. Nonetheless it was effective. Every now and then some successes were celebrated. Funnily enough, the first years succeeded first.
Some Claws were debating possible reasons. Maybe it was because they didn't need to forget as much, but maybe not. Harry didn't care to know.
Sunday, Hermione and Su approached him at breakfast about the House Elves and their form of apparition.
"Nobody has ever tried to study or learn about their magic, we don't even know how it works! It might be fundamentally different from ours, making it impossible to learn." Hermione concluded. Su showed that she agreed by nodding.
"Let's at least ask one, can't hurt can it? Don't worry Su, I'll take this one." Harry added after seeing her hard stare again, her eyes quickly softened after his last statement.
"Did you want to go now or do you still want to eat some more?" Harry asked Hermione.
Excited as she was, she quickly said yes.
"I've asked madam Sprout where I could find one and she told me that we could call for Gretty in any classroom. She will come when called. Shall we look for an empty one?" Harry asked her, holding his arm out.
She took it in answer.
When they had decided on a classroom Harry called out for "Gretty!"
"Gretty comes, what can Gretty do for young masters?"
"May we ask you some questions, Gretty? We're trying to figure out how you pop from all over the castle under anti-apparition wards."
"Gretty just pops if Gretty is wanting badly enough to go elsewhere."
"Is that all you can tell us?" Hermione prodded the elf.
"Sorry mistress, Gretty does not know how to explain better." The elf said miserably, seeing Hermione's disappointment.
Hermione's head dropped, another dead end. Harry could see she'd given up already.
"Gretty, how do you teach young elves to pop?" Harry asked.
"We pop with babies a lot, so babies know to pop when older."
'Well, isn't that interesting.' Harry thought to himself.
"It's got to be doable, it has to be. If they can do it, so can I." Harry decided out loud. "Gretty, can you pop with me? I'd love to learn."
"Gretty can." She told him, grabbing his hand and popping him to the other side of the room.
"Thank you, Gretty." He thanked the elf, making her ecstatic. "Can you do it a few more times?"
After 3 more times, Harry thanked the elf again and sent her away.
"What are you planning, Harry?" Hermione asked.
"I'm going to do it, of course! McGee let me experience apparition once and I thought that was the best thing in the world after throwing up. This was way better! Pure teleportation Hermione, this is real life superhero stuff."
"You can't just do it, Harry! Nobody's been able to replicate that ever!"
"Come on, Hermione, didn't you once tell me magic bends all kinds of rules, what's one more in the face of that?" He grinned. "Watch me then, and then after I can teach you. It'll be my secret Sunday project."
"Hmpf, I'll stick to books, thank you very much."
"Didn't the books tell you that only the strongest magicals could do wordless point casting? I know you googled it."
"Googled, Harry, really?"
"I'm going to teach them wizard folk about muggle culture if it kills me, Hermione!"
That shook her. Harry had this habit of showing little emotions. Until now, he'd only ever shown emotions when he was excited about something, he had not been truly passionate like he was today.
"Harry, you've twice spoken about projects now, is this one of them?"
Harry took a moment before replying, "Hermione, I've got three projects running at the moment, you know of two. One is better teleportation, the other is dragging this world into the 20th century, something I've just decided on. Then there's the google project. I want to create a charm that searches anything and everything based on search words."
"Uh Harry, I don't want to rain on your parade but I've read about something called the point-me spell that does exactly that."
"Are you kidding me? There's already a Google spell?! That's amazing! Can it find anything?"
"It was said to work by visualization and intent, so I guess it does."
"Amazing," Harry breathed. "I'll bet it's in my 1001 Charms book too."
"It's supposed to be a difficult spell but I guess we can try."
"Hermione, I don't care if it's difficult, do you know what this means? It means you don't have to search the library anymore, if you do it right you can even separate mentions of theory from how-to manuals. Whatever you can imagine you can find. It's like a real life cheat code. Imagine looking for something you've lost. Imagine looking for someone, something, and instantly being able to get a direction."
"You had me at the library, Harry. Let's go get your book."
"I've got it right here. Let me just look it up."
"Here Harry, let me, I'm better with books."
..
"This is why I need this spell, Hermione, don't you see, wizarding folk haven't even heard of indexes or registers at the back of books. It's prehistoric I tell you!"
…
"I got it. The incantation is point me and you do it with your wand in the palm of your hand, some people add what they're looking for to the spell, an example is point me clock."
"Are you freaking kidding me?! That's supposed to be hard?! Point me Susan Bones!" Harry's wand immediately spun around. "How the fuck is that considered hard?!"
"Point me!" Again the wand spun around and landed in the same direction as before.
"Point!" Again the wand spun around and landed in the same direction as before.
"Google me Susan Bones!" Again the wand spun around and landed in the same direction as before. "Google!" Again the wand spun around and landed in the same direction as before. "." Again the wand spun around and landed in the same direction as before.
Harry just sighed, calming down from his disbelieving rant, no need to get upset when something was easier than expected.
"You didn't even say anything that time!"
"That's kind of my shtick, Hermione, you should know that by now." Harry told her, cool as a cucumber again. "Though, considering, I might just start saying Google when using this spell. They need to know the awesomeness of Google after all."
"I guess I should start practising myself. Point me-" "Google! Hermione, you might as well learn it right the first time." Harry told her heatedly, making her giggle.
"Google me Susan Bones." Again the wand spun around and landed in the same direction as before. "You were right. This spell is quite easy, just like on a pc. Kind of stalkerish though."
"Lost your faith in books already? No? You'll get there some day. Let's introduce our friends to Google then. Next week I'll start on popping."
"Yes, let's." Hermione agreed, totally ignoring his plan to pop like a House Elf. After all, nobody had done it before.
That Sunday, Google was heard a lot in their little group in the library, Hermione could not wait any longer to test Harry's hypothesis. It did work but not for height. But Harry soon figured that out as well, to the amazement of the girls.
-X-X-
"What's this Google you keep saying, Potter? Some kind of Muggle thing, I bet." Draco Malfoy laughed loudly during lunch, like he made a joke or something.
"Yes, that's right. It's a variation of the point me spell they use on computers, want to learn?" Harry asked him politely.
"No thank you, I don't need muggle stuff." The blond boy said haughtily.
"Suit yourself."
"Can you show me?" Daphne Greengrass asked. By now the entire school was listening, as Daphne had to speak up to reach Harry. The Slytherin table was two removed from the Hufflepuff table after all.
"Sure, tell me about something you know exists but you don't know where it is."
"What about Malfoy's knickers, they're white and tight." She replied with a grin, making a lot of students laugh and Malfoy flush red, he was not amused. Lots of Slytherins laughed too, 'guess that means Malfoy is not greatly liked in his house.'
"Alright." He pulled his wand and held it in his hand, on display for the entire hall, before he said. "Google Malfoy's knickers." The wand didn't spin like it should, instead a yellow arrow of about a foot long shot out of his wand and pointed towards Malfoy's crotch.
"I'm not wearing knickers, they're briefs! I swear!" Malfoy shouted over the laughing crowd.
"What's the difference?" Harry asked genuinely curious. "It's underwear right?"
Daphne laughingly answered him. "Knickers are female underwear Harry, and briefs are male underwear."
"Oh, guess that makes sense. Google Malfoy's knickers." This time, the arrow pointed at a wall that led outside. "Guess Malfoy's home is there, sorry for before, Malfoy, I honestly didn't know." Harry said honestly, nobody could tell he was serious though.
"Are you kidding me? How can you not know!" Malfoy shouted angrily, having been embarrassed in front of the entire school.
"I just didn't, alright, never even seen any to compare with and nobody ever told me." This latest statement had the entire hall looking at Harry like he was crazy.
"Mr. Potter?" Flitwick made it known he was beside him. "Did you say that was a variation of the point me spell?" The smaller professor broke the awkward silence.
"Yes, Sir." Harry answered his favorite teacher, who looked at him as if to check if he was telling the truth.
"Hmm. Come see me after dinner then, I'd like to know your process, lad. That was amazing."
"Alright Sir, I'll stop by."
It took awhile for the hall to calm down before someone he remembered from Saturday's casting sessions shouted. "Will you teach us Saturday, Potter?"
"Sure, 9am then. And don't start crying if my explanation sucks, I'm no teacher as you should know by now." Harry now recognized the student as one of the five Claws that had started bickering in the first session, after calling him out on his shoddy teaching.
"The student barked a laugh, "Yeah, I won't." He promised.
In the next class Megan told him quietly. "Did you know that Snape sneered at you when you embarrassed Malfoy. And then when you apologized, he stopped. His expression turned into a grimace when you explained that you really didn't know the difference. I don't know what's up with him but he acts strangely around you. Older years have already started commenting about it too."
"No, I didn't notice. No clue what that's about but I'm not gonna worry about it either. What will be, will be, I guess. I'll try not to antagonize him."
"That's all I can ask."