Nari was tired. Her tears had dried, and the sobbing left her body feeling like lead. She was too tired to cry anymore and at this point, she was probably too dehydrated. Nari felt like she owed them something; an apology, and explanation, something. But as the car rolled up to the sidewalk in front of her apartment, as Konan gave her gentle hand a squeeze, all she could muster out was a quiet "Thanks."
She opened the door and stepped out, ignoring the thin press of Konan's lips and the concern in her eyes. She ignored the way Pein sat, looking out the window, his knuckles pressed to his lips as though stopping himself from saying something. She ignored the white-knuckle grip Zetsu had on the steering wheel.
They popped the trunk for her, and she slung her bag over her shoulder before grabbing the guitar, her guitar; the only thing she had left of him now. Her grip on the handle tightened, tears threating to fall again. She squeezed her eyes shut and slammed the trunk closed, sniffling. She took a moment and blinked away the tears; she had done enough crying.
"Goodnight," she said quietly as she waved to them. Konan waved back, almost shyly and Nari stepped back, heading to the steps that lead up to her apartment. She could feel the eyes on her back and tried to shrug it off. She knew they were concerned, but she wanted to be alone.
"You can stay with us," Konan had offered, her hands covering Nari's.
"No," she had whispered, "no, I just want to go home."
The keys jingled in her hands as she pulled them out of her pocket. The door swung open with a creak and as she picked up her guitar case, she heard the car slowly pull away from the curb. She watched the red lights of the car drive down the street and disappear around the corner. The door closed quietly behind her and she was relieved to find the apartment empty. She really didn't feel like seeing her roommate and answering all her questions. The only light on was the lamp hanging over the kitchen table, giving a soft yellow glow. She set her bag on the chair and guitar case on the table. Her hands ghosted over it, taking in the stickers she and her brother had collected over the years. Nari didn't notice the tears rolling down her cheeks until they splattered onto the case. There was a soft click of the latches as she opened in, looking at the guitar.
Nari could still remember the day he had given it to her. He taught her everything. He had been so patient with her, even when she got frustrated. Every time she had given up and walked away, he let her. Leo gave her space to calm down, to catch her breath. Then he would leave it lying around, waiting for her to pick it up again.
She always did.
Nari was ripped out of her thoughts when a loud, feminine moan shot through the apartment, breaking the silence. She almost jumped, startled. It took her a moment to realize it must have been her roommate. A pang of guilt hit her and she realized she had never gave that heads up. Nari turned her attention back to her guitar, reaching out to close it when another voice echoed through the apartment, freezing her in her spot.
"Oh, fuck baby," the voice crept over her, "fuck, you feel so good." Nari's head spun and her breathing caught in her throat. She knew that voice. It couldn't be him. He wouldn't. He wouldn't do that to her. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum so fuckin' deep." The phrase made her skin crawl with the familiarity. She couldn't believe it.
It wasn't him.
In a daze, Nari walking through the kitchen and down the dark hall. She couldn't feel herself moving. She stood in the dark hallway, the light from the bedroom escaping from behind the cracked door washing across her feet. Her fingertips brushed against the wood of the door, pushing it open gently. Her heart shattered at the sight.
Before her, on the bed, in her apartment, she found her boyfriend balls deep in her roommate.
"Nari!" her roommate exclaimed, startled and trying to cover herself. He boyfriend froze, looking at her over her shoulder. "Oh my god," the roommate covered her mouth, starting to cry.
"Shit," her boyfriend breathed, sitting up on his knees, staring at her wide-eyed and panicked. "Shit, baby, I-"
"No, please," Nari heard herself say calmly, startling even herself, "don't stop on my account."
"Do you think she'll be alright?" Konan asked quietly, breaking the silence as they stopped at a red light. A quiet sigh came from Pein as he dropped his hand.
"I don't know," he admitted.
"You're thinking the same thing I am," Konan said, "aren't you?" Pein looked at her in the rearview mirror and offered no other response. She could see his jaw clench.
"What am I missing?" Zetsu asked, before speaking in his darker voice. "Not that I give a shit."
"She's got a hell of a shitty boyfriend," Konan explained. "I'm worried he'll make it worse. I really don't like the idea of leaving her alone."
"She's an adult," Pein reminded her gently. "We have to respect her wishes. Besides, she said she doesn't live with him, correct?"
"I know," Konan said quietly, looking out the window, gripping her phone tightly. The silence that settled over them was stifling, beyond uncomfortable. So much so it even bothered Pein.
"We'll check on her," he assured quietly. Konan let herself have a small smile as she leaned her head against the glass, closing her eyes. She had to believe she'd be alright. Nari was at least safe. There was that. She could be grateful for that.
Her phone buzzed in her hands, making her eyes flutter open as she sat up. The light from her phone illuminated her face as she read the name in confusion. Konan opened the phone and put it to her ear.
"Hey, Nari," she greeted gently, seeing Pein's gaze flick back up to the mirror, watching her intently. "Is everything ok?"
"Yeah," Nari sniffled and Konan could hear something soft being moved. "Yeah, hey, can I talk to Pein real quick?"
"Pein?" Konan asked, a little confused. "Uh, sure, hang on one sec." Konan pulled the phone away from her ear. "She wants to talk to you." Pein reached his hand back and Konan passed him the phone.
"What's wrong?" he asked calmly. He could hear her sniffle on the other side of the phone.
"Hey, you remember what you said?" Nari asked, "when you bought me that soda? You told me I'd have to make a choice."
"Yes," he said, tension building in him. Which way was this going to go? "I remember."
"I made my choice," Nari said, her voice cracking a bit. She cleared her throat, trying to sound more put together than she should be. "And I need some help with the follow through."
"Turn the car around," he said calmly to Zetsu, making Konan sit up in alarm. "What do you need?" he asked her, pulling the phone away from his face. "You're on speaker."
"Thanks," Nari breathed, "I just need a lift to a motel."
"Bullshit," Konan said, leaning forward, her voice pleading. "Nari, please, just come home with us."
"I don't want to put you guys out more than I already have," Nari explained. "I've already caused so much trouble-"
"Stop that," Konan told her gently. "Nari, it's ok to need some help. That's what friends are for."
"I'm sorry," Nari choked out through a sob.
"She can stay with the band," Zetsu suggested. "Probably better than crashing on your shitty couch."
"Is that room cleared out?" Pein asked, "I thought they were using it for storage."
"No, they started clearing it when we were looking for new guitarists" Konan interrupted, "hey, Nari?"
"Still here," Nari assured as the sound of a zipper followed her words.
"The guys share a house and there's a spare room," Konan explained, "I'm sure they'd be more than happy to have you stay for a while."
"I don't-" she tried to argue only to be cut off by Zetsu.
"It's cheaper than a motel," he pointed out. There was silence on the other line before a quiet laugh came through. Konan smiled a bit, looking at Pein.
"Alright," Nari conceded, "alright, I guess I can – get the fuck out of here," she said to someone else.
"Nari, what's going on?" Konan asked, taking her phone back.
"Step on it," Pein instructed.
"I don't give a fuck," Nari's distant voice argued. "I'm not talking to you about this. There's nothing to fucking talk about. Get out!" A door slammed and there was a shuffling sound as Nari picked her phone up again. "Sorry about that. Eric's here. I'm packing to leave."
"Wait, I thought you had your own place," Konan asked, confused as to why Nari would like about that.
"I do," Nari sighed. "It's complicated."
"We'll be there shortly," Pein said. "Do you need us to call the police?"
"Oh, no," Nari chuckled, "no, he's not that stupid."
None of them were reassured, especially when the statement was followed by distant shouting and the sound of someone pounding on the door. Zetsu increased their speed.
Konan opened the door of the car before Zetsu could have even stopped.
"Konan!" Pein shouted as his girlfriend jumped out. Zestsu put the car in park and Pein cursed under his breath as he undid his seat belt.
"Need my help?" Zetsu asked with a wicked grin.
"Would you be here if I didn't?" Pein countered. Zetsu's grin widened as they both stepped from the car. Konan was pounding on the door of their guitarist's door when they finally caught up.
"Nari!" Konan shouted. "Nari! It's us!" She continued to pound on the door until the doorknob turned. Pein pulled her away, trying to pull her behind him. A man with a disgusted scowl opened the door.
"Who the fuck are you?" he bit. Konan glared, not letting her boyfriend hold her back. She shoved past him, startling him.
"Nari!" Konan called.
"I'm here," Nari said, stepping into view and waving them in. "Come in, guys. Just ignore him." Pein and Zetsu stepped in as well, leaving the door open as Eric glared at them. Konan ran to Nari, wrapping her in a hug.
"I was so worried," Konan breathed, letting her go. "What do you need? How can I help?"
"I'm just grabbing a few things," Nari explained, heading back to her room. "I'm almost packed. Thank you guys for coming, you really didn't have to do this."
"We're happy to be here," Konan assured, taking her hand. Nari looked at her with a small smile.
"Thank you, Konan," she said again, squeezing her hand, eyes stinging with fresh tears.
"Let's get you out of here." Konan patted her arm and Nari sniffled before nodding.
"Yeah," she stepped towards her bed, picking up some of her clothes and stuffing them in a bag. "I'm only taking what I need for a few days."
"Take anything that's valuable," Konan said as she moved to her friend's dresser, looking for jewelry. "He could steal or sell it while you're gone."
"I hadn't even thought of that," Nari hissed.
"How much time do you need?" Pein asked, leaning into the room, startling them both. His eyes fell on the small bag on the bed. "Bring more than that. We'll help you get everything outside."
"Are you-"
"I wouldn't have offered," Pein cut her off. Rather than let herself cry again, she nodded and stepped around her bed, yanking open her closet. She pulled a heavy trunk down off the shelf and tossed it onto her bed, snapping it open.
"Now that's what I'm talking about," Konan encouraged with a smile, making Nari chuckle a bit. The red head tossed a small bag to her friend.
"Can you grab my stuff from the bathroom?" Nari asked, "it's the stuff under the sink. I've got soaps and things in there, too."
"On it," Konan assured, breezing past her boyfriend, placing her hand on his chest with a smile. Pein lingered there in Nari's doorway, eyes pinned on the angry man who glared at him.
"How much room is in the trunk?" she asked, pulling his focus away.
"Enough," he assured. "Do you have another trunk?" Nari stooped and flipped up the bedspread, pulling out another. She tossed it on the bed before stepping to her drawer. She opened the first one and gathered her underwear and socks in her arms, a little embarrassed to be doing so in front of her boss. She tried to not let that bother her as she dumped them in the trunk. Next came her pajamas. Then her shirts and pants. Seeing it just about full, she turned to her pillows where an old stuffed animal rested. Only then did she slow down. Pein watched her curiously as she slowly picked it up, holding it close for a moment before setting it in the trunk. She then grabbed a small, framed picture from her nightstand and set it in as well. Nari closed the trunk and latched it. Pein walked over and gently took it from the bed.
"Thank you," she breathed, tearing up again.
"I'll have Zetsu take it down to the car. "I'll be right back."
"Ok," she breathed. "I have some stuff in the closet. Other than that, I don't know what else to grab."
"How attached to your bedding are you?" Pein asked. Nari glanced down at it.
"Not much," she said.
"We'll get you something," he assured. "Clothes, toiletries. Do you have books? Electronics?"
"Just whatever is in my duffle bag," she said. "Shit, I left it on the chair in the kitchen," she breathed, trying to move past him.
"I'll grab it," he assured before pointing to the closet. "Finish packing."
"Kay," she breathed, relieved to not have to do this on her own. She really didn't want to face Eric again, get cornered by him again. He had tried to force her into a "conversation" again, to make it her fault he cheated, to make her believe she was the one who fucked up. But she knew what would happen if she entertained it. So, she didn't.
"Alright, I think this is it," Konan said as she passed Nari the bag. "Check to make sure I didn't miss anything."
"No, it looks like everything's good," Nari said, tightening the bag. Pein took it from her before heading back down the hall. "Can you help me with the closet?"
"Sure," Konan nodded. The two stepped to the closet and began taking things off the rack and setting it on the bed. Nari didn't have much, a few dresses and blouses. Konan took them off the hangers and placed them neatly in the trunk while Nari started grabbing her shoes.
"I can't believe you're really doing this," Eric said from the doorway, making the two women pause. Konan leveled him with the meanest glare Nari had ever seen. Knowing she was safe, Nari continued to pack.
"And I can't believe you fucked my roommate," Nari responded calmly, not bothering to meet Konan's shocked stare, "but here we are."
"Why won't you at least talk to me about it?" he complained in a frustrated tone.
"I have nothing to say to you," she said simply, grabbing one of the blouses that remained on the hanger. Konan continued to stand between them, acting as a wall while she pinned the man with a glare.
"So that's it?" he asked in disbelief. "You're just throwing away five years just like that? Over a misunderstanding?"
"Yup," Nari said, popping the "p".
"You're such a selfish bitch," he seethed at her, his fist slamming against the wall, making Nari flinch a bit. Konan stood firm, arms crossed. "You don't think about anyone-"
"That's enough," Pein's firm voice interrupted as he stepped behind him. Eric stepped back and faced Pein. Pein stared back, not the least bit intimidated. With a huff, Eric stomped off to the kitchen.
"How did you know he slept with her?" Konan asked her quietly, afraid of the answer. Nari didn't look at her and continued to pack.
"Came home to them fucking," Nari answered flatly.
"Nari," Konan breathed. She opened her mouth to give any kind of condolence she could but Nari cut her off.
"It's fine," she said. "It's better this way. I just want to get out of here."
"Right," Konan nodded after a moment before going back to packing the blouses.
"Shit, my books," Nari grumbled. She peered into her closet, hoping to find a bag big enough. "Damn, hang on."
"Where are you going?" Konan asked as Nari slipped by Pein.
"I got her," Pein assured her. "Keep packing. I don't want to keep her here longer than necessary." Konan looked uncertain but Pein didn't linger. When he got to the kitchen, he was glad he didn't. Nari had opened a pantry and was digging around, looking for something. Beside her, Eric was trying to talk to her, drag her into an argument. Nari ignored him. Pein made his way across the room and Eric stepped back, glaring at him. "Back off," Pein warned.
"What the hell's your problem, man?" Eric shouted. "I'm just tryna talk to my fucking girlfriend."
"I'm not your girlfriend," Nari said calmly before turning to Pein, handing him the large reusable bags for grocery shopping. "Can you have Konan start packing my books?" Pein took them but hesitated, glancing at Eric. Nari couldn't help but smile a bit, flattered. "Don't worry. I'll be fine." Pein left but not before pinning the man with a warning glare. Nari closed the pantry and moved to the closet.
"Why won't you fucking talk to me?" Eric asked, following her.
"There's nothing to talk about," Nari explained. "I came home to you balls deep in my roommate." She leaned back and looked at the other woman who stood in a bathrobe, arms wrapped around her with tears running down her face. "Thanks for that, by the way." The other woman burst into sobs and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.
"Why are you acting like such a bitch?" Eric spat at her as she bundled her coats in her arms. Nari walked them over to the kitchen table, laying them out. "What was I supposed to do while you were gone?"
"Are you serious?" Nari asked, pausing. "Are you seriously going to try and justify cheating on me? For shit's sake, Eric, you fucked up! Just admit it and leave me alone."
"I didn't do anything!" he insisted. "You put me in this situation. First you won't sleep with me; it's a battle just to get you to do that. It's like you're not even into me anymore." Zetsu returned, staring at them, waiting for something to happen. Pein came out of the room, passing off her second trunk to him without a word. Zetsu left once more but Pein lingered, watching. Eric lowered his voice and spoke to Nari once more. "Then you go running around with a bunch of dudes I don't know. For all I know you could have been gang banged every night."
"First off," Nari snapped, spinning to face him, anger flooding her at the insinuation. "Don't you dare talk about them like that. Second, you have absolutely no right accusing me of cheating when I literally caught you in the fucking act!" She watched as Eric bristled visibly, growing red in the face. "Oh, and by the way, maybe I'd be more attracted to you if you grew up and stopped throwing goddamn tantrums when you don't get your way!"
"YOU WANNA SEE A TANTRUM?" Eric shouted, reaching for her guitar. Panic seized her as she reached out to stop him.
"No, don't!" Nari shouted as he tanked it out of its case and held it over his head. Pein rushed to try and stop him but it was too late. Eric had turned and brought the wooden guitar against the counter. Nari watched as it shattered and splintered, pieced flying everywhere. Eric brought it down a second time but before he could lift it for a third time, Pein reached him, his fist striking across Eric's face, sending him stumbling back.
"Oh my god!" Konan shouted as a scuffle ensued.
"Shit," Zetsu exhaled as he joined them once more. Pein had grabbed Eric by the shirt and punched him again. Konan gently tugged Nari back from the fray as Zetsu intervened, helping to detangle his friend from the crazy ex-boyfriend. Nari couldn't even take pleasure in watching Eric get pummeled. Her focus was on the guitar that lay shattered on the floor, strings snapped and curling. Chunks of wood had flown across the room and she crouched down, picking up the largest piece. Konan tried to pull her away to safety, but Nari just sat there, on the floor cradling the last piece of her brother to her chest, trying desperately not to sob again.
She wasn't sure she could take much more of this.
"Nari, come on, hun," Konan urged, getting her hands under her arms and lifting her off the floor. She pulled her towards her room and spun Nari to face her. Nari tried to turn and look at the kitchen, but Konan stopped her, cradling her face in her hands, forcing her to look at her. "Nari, look at me. It's going to be ok. We need to get you packed, ok? We have to keep packing. We're almost done, ok?" Nari nodded and tried to look over her shoulder again, only to be stopped. "No, no, hun, just keep looking at me. Do you want to go wait out in the car?"
"No," Nari breathed.
"Are you sure?" Konan asked and Nari's grip on the piece of her guitar tightened. "Ok, you're doing great, Nari. It's almost over, ok? It's going to be ok."
"Leo," Nari choked out, "Leo gave it to me."
"Leo's your brother, right?" Konan asked, earning another nod and a pang of sorrow shot through her. "Leo gave you the guitar?" she asked sadly. Nari scrunched her face, trying not to cry as she nodded. "Oh, sweetie," Konan cooed, pulling her crying friend into a hug once more. "Oh, shit, Nari. I'm so sorry."
"How much is left?" Pein asked, joining them.
"It's packed, I just need help getting it downstairs," Konan told him. "I think all that's left are her coats here."
"Zetsu, there's another trunk on the bed," Pein told him.
"Got it," he said as he rushed past them.
"Nari?" Konan asked, pulling away for a moment. "Nari, your books are packed and the things you pulled from the closet are packed. Is there anything else?" Nari sniffled and shook her head.
"Just my coats," she answered.
"Alright, let's get you down to the car," Konan said, guiding her to the door. "It's going to be ok, we've got you." Before they stepped into the hall, Konan looked over her shoulder to the man who was picking himself up off the floor, blood spilling down his face and onto his shirt. He glared at them as they walked away and Konan had half a mind to put him back on the floor. Instead, she spoke with a venom so unfamiliar to her usual tone. "You should be ashamed of yourself."
Nari didn't remember walking out of the apartment. She didn't remember being lead down the steps or being guided into the warmth of the car. She couldn't say if she was buckled in or not. She didn't even know if she was crying. As the car drove down the street, stopping and going at the lights, Nari just sat silently, staring at the shiny piece of wood in her hands. The rest of her guitar lay in pieces on her kitchen floor. She had no doubt in her mind the rest would be thrown away. Nothing could tear that piece of wood from her hands. If someone wanted to take it, they would have to kill her first.
"Nari," Konan called to her gently, patting her knee. "Nari, we're here."
"It doesn't look like they're home, yet," someone said distantly. Nari stepped from the car as the trunk was popped. Her hand gripped one of her trunks and she looked up to the dark house. She was starting over again. It had happened when her parents first died. The foster home had looked so nice at first. But there was a reason Leo had gotten custody of her the first moment he could. Nari hesitated on the sidewalk, a cold pit of apprehension in her stomach.
"Nari," Pein's voice called to her from the front porch steps. "There's a room on the second floor," he explained and Nari's feet moved her up the walk automatically. The wood creaked under her steps as she joined him on the porch. Keys jingled distantly as he unlocked the door, letting it swing open. "We'll bring your things in. I'll show you the room," he said, picking up her trunk. She didn't protest. Nari followed him silently. A light was turned on and she flinched at the sudden brightness. There was a kitchen and a living room. A hall lead towards the back and it ended in darkness. In the hall, the stairs led up, disappearing behind the ceiling. Pein flicked on the lights that illuminated the hall and stairs.
The moment the second lights were turned on, movement began around the house and Nari froze. She heard Pein wear under his breath, stopping at the foot of the stairs. A door opened down the hall and she saw Tobi standing there, staring at her. Near him, footsteps thundered up an invisible stair case and an unseen door opened. A similar voice came from above and two doors opened upstairs.
"I thought they were still out," Pein said, watching her as voices floated down the steps.
"Is that her, yeah?" Deidara's voice came from down the hall as he joined Tobi.
"Come on, Nari," Konan said from behind her, heading her up the steps. Nari wanted to say something, anything. She wanted to be ok, to assure them she was ok, but she doubted they would believe her. She let Konan lead her to the steps and Pein began to head up the stairs. As Nari walked up them, she saw the worried stares of Itachi and Hidan waiting for her.
"Move," Pein instructed patiently and they stepped aside. Nari followed, glancing away from her bandmates. He opened a door and turned on the light. He set down her trunk with a heavy thud as her eyes wandered around the room. It was plain, walls covered in fresh white. The furniture was enough and unassuming, covered in a layer of dust. "You're free to stay as long as you like," he said, grabbing the bedding and pulling it off the bed.
"Here's some fresh sheets," Itachi said from the doorway. Konan took them with a quiet thanks and she moved to the bed. Nari stood, still as a statue as Pein and Konan changed the bedding. Zetsu brought in the rest of her things, setting them off to the side and removing the old sheets.
"Hidan sleeps upstairs," Konan explained as she worked, "so if you hear thumping around upstairs it's just him."
"Ok," Nari said.
"Itachi's room is down the hall but he's pretty quiet," Konan continued. "You saw Tobi is on the first floor. Deidara is in the basement. We soundproofed the rooms as best we could, but you can only do so much against drums." Nari hummed in understanding. "You have an ensuite bathroom, it's that door there," she indicated. "Living room and kitchen are free reign. Don't let the boys bully you out of it." She turned down the blankets for Nari and fluffed the pillow a bit. She and Pein stood there, watching her, noticing her far off stare. "Do you want me to stay?"
"No," she breathed, finally peeling her eyes away from the nothingness and meeting Konan's gaze. "No, I think I want to be alone, now."
"Ok," Konan said quietly before walking over to her. Gently, as though Nari was made of glass, she wrapped her in a hug. "I'm a phone call away. Always."
"Thank you," Nari said, giving her a small hug back. Konan released her and stepped back, offering her a small, sad smile.
"Good night, Nari," she said, stepping past and leaving the room. Pein lingered for a moment, standing before her.
"Thank you," she said quietly, "thank you both for being there." Pein gave her a slow nod, saying nothing but resting a hand on her shoulder. She could see the bruising and scratches and guilt rolled in her stomach.
"Get some sleep," he told her, letting his hand slip from her shoulder. Nari watched him leave and he pulled the door closed gently behind him. Nari was left in the room alone and the quiet thrummed in her ears. She walked over to the light switch and let the darkness envelope her. Her tears soaked the pillow as she silently cried herself to sleep, gripping that last piece of her brother tightly. She was homeless and achingly alone. She was scared. Her whole purpose for living was gone. She had thought about quitting, giving up, so many times, but each time she thought of Leo. Who would take care of Leo?
But now he was gone.
She had nothing.
She had no one.
Her world was gone in one night and she wasn't sure she wanted to wake up.