A/N: Hello. I will stop putting "Gneo:" to indicate an author's note. Because he will be in my fic, (oops, spoiler) it would be odd. Like he was talking as a part of the story, but he isn't because it's me, therefore not him, because I made him, he's my character. Now, just what the fork is a "Gneo"? Click my profile to find out… it is confusing otherwise, trust me. I almost confused myself once. Then I read my own profile, and figured it out. Don't tell my I'm crazy, I already know that. And leave me alone about Seifer's comment about "please read and review." It was out of my annoyance from seeing "please read and review" on everyone's fic's. Oh well. Please read and review.

Disclaimer: I do not own 343 Guilty Spark or any of its stupid, stupid annoyance.

Oh, by the way, this chapter is now intended for 13 and under. (I changed the sort of NC-17 part of it to a more pathetic, humorous thingy. (But that does NOT mean that this is for kids. Because it is not. Trix are. Want the NC-17 sort of original chapter? Just ask! E-mail you shall receive.)

Chapter three:

Squall's mistake

"Hey, can you guys wait here? I need to find my weapon. Squall, help me, c'mon!" Rinoa grabbed Squall's arm and began to run to the dorms.

"Sure," said Zell. "I can wait." He sat down on the bench across from the training area.

"AHHH! ARE YOU GAY? GET OFF ME!" Screamed a male senior. Apparently, Zell did not look where he was sitting, and he plopped down right on top of a guy that was sitting there. Zell was promptly pushed off.

"Hey, are you bashing homosexuality? That's totally not cool!" yelled Selphie, who seemed to be hurt be the senior's remark.

"No, I just don't really like it when some guy just comes up to me and sits on my lap! Is it wrong to think that? Please tell me it isn't…" remarked the senior, sounding rather freaked out. He stood up and looked around at everyone, looking more and more freaked out as he studied his surroundings.

"Maybe he was trying to give you a lap dance!" announced Quistis.

"Wha-I-no!" yelled Zell.

"Ooooo… is Zell blushing? His face is red!" Said Selphie in an annoying tone.

"No! It's called embarrassment, if you weren't high off sugar extract all the time, you would know how it feels!" Screamed Zell.

Just then, as the senior was stepping backward, he bumped into a blue figure passing by. The blue figure stopped and glared at the senior with its half steel, half blue eyes.

"Human. Do you call those two soft, round, glossy objects embedded on your head eyes?" asked the blue figure.

"Err-uh-y-yes. I-I do." Replied the senior.

"Good. So do I. Must I teach you how to use them?" asked the mystery blue figure.

"Uh-n-no…" the senior spoke in a terrified tone.

"Well then, in the future prove it." The blue figure walked away into the training center.

"Okay now. Is this lap dance problem going to linger all day? Or will I see Zell give this guy a lap dance?" Asked Quistis.

"IT WASN'T A LAP DANCE!" yelled Zell and the senior together.

"Right, right, uh huh. We believe ya." Said Selphie.

"Forget it! You guys are a bunch of freaks! Get away!" The senior spun around and ran for the training center.

"Oh for Zuna's sakes, going to the training center, how could I forget my sword? How ignorant of me." The mystery blue figure was muttering to himself while running out of the training center. There was a loud thud and a splash. Everyone walked over to see what the ruckus was.

"AHHHHH! Get him off! Get him off! I'm not gay!" screamed the senior, who was soaked from head to toe. The senior stripped off his shirt and pants and began slamming them on the ground. Girls nearby either stopped dead and stared or ran away squealing. Guys yelled at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" yelled a random guy.

"Get him off!" yelled the senior, now trying to ring out his shirt.

"Ow! StOp iT HuMaN! SeTtLe DoWn!" said a bubbly voice that seemed to come from the wet clothes.

"Hey guys, thanks for waiting-… what the heck is going on here?" asked Rinoa.

"And why is that guy only wearing his boxers? That's… inappropriate." Squall said.

All of a sudden, the senior jumped back. He stared at his clothes on the ground, and they started to move. All the water was crawling out of the clothes, and gathering in a puddle. The puddle began to climb up into the air, and then it began to take shape. Finally it formed into the mystery blue figure from before. It glared at the senior.

"What did I say about using your eyes human?" asked the blue figure, who seemed to be a bit pissed off.

"…AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed the senior, and ran into the training center.

"No, I don't believe that's what I said…" the blue figure replied, scratching his head.

"Wait. What the heck is happening here? Or do I even want to know?" Squall asked.

"Oh, uh, well you see sir, this human does not know how to utilize his eyes. I think, when used correctly they would help you not run into a Doku and have him turn into his water form on accident." The Doku said.

"Dok-what? Water form? I'm confused, who are you?" Rinoa asked.

"My apologies, I have not properly introduced myself. I am Gneo from the planet Zuna. I'm sure at least one of you humans knows of the student exchange program, do you not?" asked Gneo.

"What? Oh no, but that doesn't mean…" Xu trailed off.

XxX

A couple weeks ago, Headmaster's office, Xu's POV

XxX

"Sir, please get away from the computer, you've had too much saki." I told Cid.

"No, no, it's quite alright Xu. I have been (hiccup) meaning to do this student-exchange thingy for a while now." Cid told me, spilling saki on his lap.

"Um, don't you mean 'thought exchange' program? And with people on this planet for god's sakes!" I said looking at the computer screen, seeing names and planets I could not even pronounce.

"Well, I changed my (hic) mind. Hmmmm… Gneo? Doesn't care where he's going… from planet Zuna? What a pretty (hic) name…" Cid was totally delirious.

"Come on sir, get off before you do something stupid…" I saw him click Gneo's name.

"Now, who to send? Oh, I know, Nida said he needed to go somewhere, why don't I send him to (hic) Zuna? He will be pleased." Cid clicked on Nida's name, then on the word 'exchange.'

"No sir! He said he needed to go to the restroom! Not-"

"Well I would like to go to planet (hic) restroom too, but I can't. I'm (hic, hic) not a student." Cid cut me off.

I gawked at him in horror. Nida was going to another planet, and there was nothing I could do…

XxX

End POV

XxX

"And that's what happened." Xu told everybody.

"So that's where Nida's been lately." Said Squall.

"B-bu-but that means…" Zell trailed off.

XxX

Same time, Planet Zuna

XxX

"Why hello there, human! Do not be afraid, I will not hurt you. Why are you not at the center of learning, human? Don't worry, I have a friend that can help you… ORACLE!" The green blob-like alien said. In a flash of yellow light, a little orb shaped robot that had had a voice so annoying, it just made you want to pull out a rocket launcher and blow it to bits appeared.

"Hello. I am 343-Guilty Spark. Another reclaimer? Splendid! How may I be of service?" It said in its annoying voice, making a little blue flash of light out from the center as it just hovered there.

"Why do I have a sudden urge to blow you to bits with a rocket launcher?" Asked Nida.

"Ah-heh-heh, don't mind that, human. Oracle, I want you to send this human to the learning center. Well human, this is where our roads end. I bid you farewell." The green blob turned and left.

"WAIT! Don't leave me here with this floating-… thing!" screamed Nida.

"Don't worry reclaimer. I will fill you in with a brief history of this planet on the warp." Said Guilty Spark.

"NOOOOOOO!" Nida's voice was droned out as he and the little robot disappeared in the same flash of yellow light in which it came.

XxX

End planet Zuna, back to Earth

XxX

"Don't worry guys, I'm sure he's alright." Said Zell.

"I'm not so sure… hey c'mon let's go!" yelled Selphie, and ran into the hallway leading to the training center.

Everyone but Squall, Rinoa, and Gneo followed Selphie into the training center.

"So, uh- Gneo, are you going into the training center? It would be interesting to see how someone from another planet fights." Said Squall.

"Yes, but I just forgot my sword, Kazama. Normally Kazama is always in a sheath on my back. But this learning center has so many damn restrictions and other little rules." Answered Gneo.

"You named your sword?" Rinoa asked. Gneo shuddered.

"You're kidding, right? I already told you its name. Isn't it obvious after that?" Gneo asked.

"Geez, you don't have to be so mean about it, I was just asking a question." Snarked Rinoa

"A question that was already answered, human!" Gneo said to Rinoa.

"C'mon Squall, let's go." Rinoa stuck her tongue out at Gneo and walked into the training center, pulling on Squall's arm.

"Hey, will you meet us in the training center after you find your sword?" Squall yelled back to Gneo.

"…Call it a head start!" Replied Gneo.

XxX

Thirty minutes later, training center

XxX

"Nice one, commander!" said Xu as Squall's gunblade exited out of the back of an Ochu.

"Thanks. Even the new monsters added here seem weak." Replied Squall.

"Hey! Another Ochu at six o'clock!" yelled Zell, and everybody ran for it.

"Hey! Squall… over here, stupid!" said Rinoa. She was standing by the entrance to the 'secret meeting place.' She was beckoning him closer with one finger.

Meanwhile, Xu, Zell, Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie were having a hard time with their Ochu. Selphie was already getting sick from the monster's poison. Zell had punctured it with his left fist, and was fishing around for something inside of it.

"C'mon, where is it?" Zell said to himself.

"Zell, what the hell are you doing? You will get terribly poisoned! Get your hand out of it!" Yelled Quistis.

"Say, where's Squall when you need him? Or Rinoa? Oh, I get it. They're probably making out in the secret area." Said Zell, still felling the slimy insides of the Ochu. It seemed to be immobilized because of it, but it was still trying to smack Zell with its tentacles. Trying, but failing miserably.

"Say what? Oh, I can't miss this…" Quistis turned around and ran to the secret area.

"I can't believe this, I'm going too." Selphie turned and followed Quistis.

"I-uh-um-that's uh- inappropriate. I um-should check it out." Xu followed after the two girls.

"What? Oh that's frick'en weak, man." Said Zell.

Irvine pumped his shotgun once, walked right up to the Ochu, (it didn't seem too much willing to fight with someone's arm inside of it) stuck his gun in its big gaping mouth, and pulled the trigger. Ochu guts, which mainly consist of green goop, and other gross green things flew everywhere, making it look like Irvine was finger painting his face with green slime. The Ochu stopped it's moving, although there wasn't much to stop in the first place. Zell took his fist out of the Ochu's sides.

"Oh great…" Zell leaped headfirst into the Ochu's dead gaping mouth.

"You're a strange one…" Irvine said, but Zell did not hear him, he was too busy digging around inside of the Ochu. Irvine walked over to Xu, Quistis, and Selphie, who were each taking turns peeking into the room where Squall and Rinoa were making out. Irvine sneaked a peak.

They were both leaning against a wall, Squall's back on the wall. Squall started to move his right hand slowly down her back, down her leg, up and around…

Rinoa lightly smacked his hand.

"No touchy…" Rinoa whispered, and then continued indulging her tongue in Squall's mouth.

"Ohhhh… a sly one with the fingers, eh?" Irvine said quietly. "I've seen enough." Irvine picked a random direction and walked away.

"Look, Selphie, he's just standing there. He is not even doing anything." Quistis moved aside so Selphie could peek in.

Squall now was vigorously doing nothing at all. She couldn't help but give a slight noise of annoyance. Squall did not pick this up. He stood there almost oblivious to the fact that he was kissing his girlfriend. No, that was a lie. Rinoa was kissing him. He just stood there acting like a fool. He knew barely anything about sex anyway. If it was fighting he was dealing with, that would be a very different situation.

"Oh my! I did not just see Squall's hand try to go for …Rinoa's…ugh…" Selphie stopped peeking and ran a few steps away before falling to her knees puking into a nearby bush.

"Oh, Selphie… that poison must have really gotten to her... among other things." Said Quistis walking over to where Selphie was, leaving a perverted Xu bending over watching Squall perfectly acting like a wall for Rinoa.

"Hey guys, ya' miss me?" said Zell, waving at his friends. Xu turned from the door.

"Zell, what on earth were you doing with that Ochu? You're filthy!" Xu said. She was right. Zell was half covered with thick, sticky green goop.

"Oh, I was just looking for this." Zell proudly displayed a disfigured hotdog covered with green slime. "Th' little asshole stole it from me yesterday, so I was surprised it was still there! Well, I sure told him!" Zell took a big bite out of the slime-covered hotdog. Selphie turned just in time to see him do this.

"Oh my… my stomach..." Selphie turned and re-commenced puking her brains out. Quistis and Xu had no comment, so Quistis returned to try to cure Selphie by giving her an elixir, and Xu returned to peeking in at Squall and Rinoa.

He was still doing absolutely nothing. Not even moving, really. He did have his arms around her waist. Wow, that was accomplishing a lot. Rinoa stopped kissing Squall and pulled her out of his arms.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rinoa yelled at him, a disgusted look covering her face.

"I-uh-what do you mean? Nothing!" Squall said, confusion present in his mind.

"Wow, for once you're actually right." Rinoa said, slapping him hard on the face. She ran out of the room with her fists tightened.

"Rinoa, wait-stop!" yelled Squall after her.

Rinoa stopped dead in her tracks. She was filled with hate and tension. She slowly turned around, a death glare ringing deep within her eyes.

"What was that?" Rinoa said sarcastically, "stop? What, you expect me to do for you what you are so good at already? Just stop-and do nothing! You suck at kissing! I have told you this many times! How can you not do a single thing, and not learn from it? Is it because it doesn't have anything to do with a stupid gunblade!" Rinoa yelled at him. She turned around, tears re-appearing on her face, and she ran.

"No, stop!" yelled Squall.

"NO! Not for you Squall!" she was choking on her tears. "I'll never stop for you! Never!"

XxX

So, what do you think? I know, I haven't posted in a very long time… I'm sorry, it's just that school is very demanding, and I hate history class. We just re-learn the Civil War 153253.53476 quadrillion (yes, that's a real word) times. And maybe World War I and II a couple times, but ever the Vietnam War? NOOOOO! We can't tell our own people that we, the "proud" United States of America lost a frick'en war, and tried to go into Louse for all of it's opium can we? Or that's EXACTLY one of the reasons that we are in Afghanistan searching its sands for that big, pretty yellow flower? (Opium flowers like the desert. I don't know why, so don't ask me. If you really want to know, why don't you ask one?) No, what would we do with drugs? Duh, give them to the C.I.A. so they can sell them on the Black Market for profit, because they are not funded by the government! Oh! I'm sorry, went off a little bit there didn't I? Well, I apologize. Please tell me what you think of this chapter. (And not that it's longer this time, Black Chaos Lightning-999, I already know that. Word count has its advantages.)

You know, I really should not put a period at the end of "( )" it makes it look like a breast. Thank Black Chaos Lightning-999 for that bit of info. Isn't it amazing what you can do with a graphing calculator when you are bored? O.J. did it.