Incognito12 – I find the Xanatos presented in the books to be a bit two dimensional. I prefer him much more conflicted about life. Not the bloody maniac, as you said, but still someone who lives by his own rules.
LianneZ4 – Yes, the plot thickens.
sterling5842 – I am sure that Xanatos' viewpoint of the Jedi was not the only one she had. I think she more so was looking at the lesser of two evils. Yes, this new insight on Crion is not going to be easy for Qui-Gon to swallow.
Chapter 6
Qui-Gon felt like the world was spinning, growing smaller and smaller as though it just might collapse in on him. He closed his eyes to steady himself, quickly drawing on the Force to calm his racing thoughts and emotions. It had been over two years since he had last seen his former apprentice, on Bandomeer.
By agreeing to heavy fines, and no doubt by lining a few pockets along the way, Xanatos had appeased galactic authorities and managed to slip relatively unscathed through what should have been a legal minefield. Offworld was as prosperous as ever. The Jedi kept a watchful eye on the corporation, looking for signs of overt criminal activity, but nothing had surfaced. Xanatos was too intelligent for that, and wouldn't allow himself to be burned a second time.
A weak prod at his mental shields brought Qui-Gon back to the present where he held Xanatos' child in his arms. Two small hands pressed against his beard, tugging his head downward. He didn't want to look at that small face with the knowledge he now held, but the boy was persistent. With a deep breath, Qui-Gon opened his eyes. How he hadn't seen it before was beyond him. Eyes, hair, skin … that smile – he was looking into Xanatos' face all over again, and it was like a searing blade had stabbed through his heart. He offered a weak smile, but disappointment bled across Crion's face. The boy knew something had muddied the Force between them. He scrambled off of Qui-Gon's lap and reached for Mia. Qui-Gon helped him climb up beside her, realizing she was still waiting for an answer.
"So, you are Xanatos' …"
Qui-Gon searched carefully for a term. The idea of Xanatos with a wife somehow didn't fit what he remembered of his free-spirited, unbridled former padawan. Qui-Gon had frowned upon his apprentice's sexual pursuits, and doubted the word monogamous existed in the young man's vocabulary. Xanatos had always been only more than happy to leave the idea of attachments and entanglements behind.
Mia brought an end to his search. "Lover would probably be the best term to use," she said, before glancing away. As she caught her lower lip between her teeth and took a deep breath, Qui-Gon could sense a profound feeling of loss sweep over her. "At least, I would like to think there was love there at some point along the way."
"I'm sorry for all you have likely been through."
Qui-Gon did not expect her to laugh, but the mirthless chuckle bubbled right out of her as she shook her head from side to side. "Before you start to feel sorry for me and dub me an innocent victim, you need to understand who I am, Master Jinn. I'm no better than he is. I never killed, but I made a living of seducing my way into trust, luring men to give up their carefully guarded secrets, and destroyed many lives without ever taking them. It was how I met Xanatos, and you could say, I met my match."
Though she was careful to not make eye contact, she could do nothing to hide the deep, conflicting emotions that flowed freely every time she mentioned Xanatos.
"You love him," Qui-Gon said softly.
"More than he likely knows. Perhaps in another time or place, it could have worked between us," she admitted. "Marriage requires a level of trust that neither Xanatos nor I are capable of giving. I know he offered me more than was comfortable for him, and he suffered for it." She looked up, her eyes acknowledging what Qui-Gon sensed behind her words. "He loves Crion deeply, and this is the second time I have taken his son from him. He caught up to me the first time, and I was surprised the opportunity came again."
The very fact that she was still alive meant that Xanatos cared for her in some way. Qui-Gon knew from experience the depth of his former apprentice's grudges, especially when what he perceived as betrayal was involved.
"Whatever I felt for him - that's the past, Master Jinn. I can't exist there anymore," Mia finally said. "I have wagered everything to make sure that Crion doesn't pay for my mistakes and weaknesses."
"What can I do to help?" Qui-Gon asked. "I have contacts throughout the galaxy. We can find somewhere for you both to hide."
"You are kind, Master Jinn, but even with plenty of rest and good medical care, I have a year left at the most. Crion will need somewhere permanent to live. Now, I understand very little of what you call the Force, and have found it all a bit alarming. Xanatos seemed convinced that Crion would be controlled by his giftings if not trained."
"I would have to agree with him on that," Qui-Gon offered. The heated glance sent his direction indicated he had touched on a very sore subject.
"Then perhaps you would at least agree with me that Xanatos should not be the one to train him," Mia shot back.
"Crion is young enough that the Temple will have no difficulty taking him in. I will have to consult with the Council because it would require a break in our policy. We do not take children without both parents' consent."
Fear seemed to swallow her, panic choking the Force around her.
"Ma?" Crion questioned before eyeing Qui-Gon in suspicion, as though he had done something to scare her.
Mia drew her son close, soothing him with tender whispers as she worked to calm herself. Qui-Gon spoke quickly to reassure her.
"We do make exceptions, and given our history with Xanatos, I am certain this would be a definite exception."
"Good," she whispered, smiling brightly as she pressed a kiss to the top of her son's head.
"However, I am certain that you will not be allowed to stay here with him."
Her face was the perfect picture of bravery and strength, though he could sense that she was crumbling inside. Over the course of his career as a Jedi, Qui-Gon had been sent countless times to bring children back to the Temple. The strong emotions involved with a mother parting with her child always made his heart ache.
"From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I feared that Xanatos would take my baby away and discard me," Mia began softly. "I understand now, that it is best for Crion to begin to adjust to life without me. I accepted when I chose to bring him here that I would have to leave."
"We must find a safe place for you as well. You are in danger on your own, and if Xanatos finds you, he will be able to find Crion."
Her face paled even more. She knew that reality as much as he did. He hadn't meant to squelch her newfound hope and peace, only to make her to pay attention to his next suggestion.
"There are other Jedi Temples. I can think of one on the Outer Rim where I have taken many sabbaticals. The gardens are unmatched and peaceful. Xanatos would never look for you there."
Mia offered a weak smile of thanks, her mind already latching on to the next task to be accomplished. "I need to leave a false trail. One that leads far away from Coruscant. I need …" She closed her eyes, fatigue washing over her. Qui-Gon reached out and took her hand.
"I will help you. You don't have to do this on your own anymore."
She didn't argue, too fatigued to think anymore.
"You need rest right now. I will go speak with the Council, and with your permission, take Crion to meet his agemates."
She nodded, all she seemed to have strength left to do. Qui-Gon placed his hand on the side of her face, pushing the last bit of resistance to sleep away. The toddler sitting by her side scowled at him, as though he had seen the trick before. A smile tugged at Qui-Gon's lips. He could easily imagine a desperate Xanatos using a Force suggestion on his son. The momentary sense of amusement morphed into remorse, and Qui-Gon pushed his emotions away yet again as he looked down at the boy.
"We should start over again. Will you come with me?" He held his hands out front. Crion watched him for a moment before standing up and reaching out. Qui-Gon scooped the boy into his arms and started down the hallway.
Crion was going to become a permanent resident at the Temple, and Qui-Gon had to wonder how long it would take to be able to look at him without feeling some amount of pain.
The lights were dimmed in the small room in the Healer's Ward, a place Qui-Gon decided he was spending entirely too much time in since Obi-Wan Kenobi had come into his life. He leaned against the door frame, watching the lonely figure staring at the ceiling.
"You were sleeping when I checked on you earlier. I didn't want to wake you. I had hoped you would still be taking advantage of this time for rest, Padawan."
The teenager turned and looked at him, letting out an exaggerated sigh. "I've had about all the rest I can take for today, Master. You can only sleep for so long."
"I'll remind you of that the next time you ask for five more minutes in the morning."
"That's different, Master," Obi-Wan groaned.
"Of course."
Qui-Gon resisted the smirk that threatened to spread across his face. Obi-Wan had spent their trip home ill with a high fever and unable to keep anything down. As the boy's master, he should be more compassionate than to tease. If only it weren't so much fun.
"Thank you for checking in on our guests for me," he continued.
"Did you find out who they are?"
The question was asked plainly, but Qui-Gon could sense his apprentice's burning curiosity. He hated to tell Obi-Wan. Xanatos had cast such a large shadow over their beginning as master and apprentice, but he wasn't about to lie.
"Yes." He paused. "The boy is Xanatos' son."
Obi-Wan's eyes grew large, alarm lighting up jeweled depths.
"They are on the run, Padawan, and seeking refuge here," Qui-Gon explained.
"What is going to happen to them?"
"I spoke with the Council earlier. It was decided that Crion will stay here in the crèche. His mother is dying and no longer able to care for him."
"He's going to be trained?" Obi-Wan asked with a hint of disbelief.
"Yes, Padawan. Do you believe there is a reason he shouldn't be?"
"It just surprises me - that's all," Obi-Wan answered. "Isn't the Council worried that he's been tainted or something?"
"Crion has spent time with some of the masters already. That has dissuaded any concerns they had, and they believe he will adjust quickly."
"Are you going to be okay with it?"
"It doesn't matter if I am or not." Qui-Gon smiled gently, touched by his apprentice's concern for his well-being. "I will have to remind myself that he is not his father, and I have a responsibility to see that he is taken care of. I promised his mother that I would help."
Obi-Wan searched his master's face for a moment before apparently being satisfied with what he saw.
"I will be leaving the Temple for a few days so that I can accompany Miss Kender to a safer location."
"I'll come with you," Obi-Wan said eagerly, trying to sit up.
"No, you need to rest, Padawan."
The stern gaze he leveled at his apprentice squelched any arguments on the matter.
"Will I have to stay in the Healer's Ward the entire time you're gone?"
Qui-Gon tried to not to smile. He shouldn't when his apprentice was practically whining.
"No. Since your fever has broken and you have managed to keep food down today, Healer Nuran said that she will release you in the morning. I have made arrangements for you to stay with someone."
"Good," Obi-Wan sighed in relief, before rethinking the option. "Wait … with Master Yoda?"
"No. I want you to actually eat something while I'm gone," Qui-Gon said. "Master Tholme and Quinlan are at the Temple, and offered to let you stay. But you still need to rest. Master Tholme has my permission to march you right back up here if you don't."
"I will," Obi-Wan promised quickly. "Thank you, Master."
Qui-Gon tucked the blankets carefully around his apprentice, before standing to leave.
"Master?"
"Yes, Padawan."
"Do you think Xanatos will come looking for his son?"
"I think the Temple is the last place he would look. But we will change Crion's surname and have his records reflect that he is an orphan."
Obi-Wan's face creased into tense lines. Qui-Gon had learned that the expression usually meant his apprentice saw something in the Force that the master could not. It was most often accompanied by the words, 'Master, I have a bad feeling about this'. That's not what that boy said. Instead, Obi-Wan offered a simple, "Be careful, Master."
"I will. I promise," Qui-Gon replied.