A/N: Hiya! I hope you have liked my story so far; I've worked hard on it. Sorry if it's "too bloody" or "swears too much" or there's "too much fighting" or it "eats it's dandruff." Get used to it. (There's a warning for minors) OH! I almost forgot, by the way, people; you should really check out this author called "Shadowrules" two of her stories I've read are great. (Just my opinion, please don't bombard me with reviews/e-mails saying I'm trying to sway the public's opinion or some politically correct crap like that) They are "Haunted" and "Alone" both are FF8, so you might like them. (Haunted is finished, but there is a sequel, it's called "Wings") Please read review them, they are both great. (Again, my opinion not meant to bias others. How many people advertise other people's stories in their own? I haven't seen many. Doesn't that make me a Good Samaritan?)
Chapter five:
Gneo's Mistake
(Oops-a-daisy)
"Alright, who's going with who and where?" Selphie asked.
"I'm with Gneo!" Quistis said as she hugged onto Gneo.
"No, you're not." Gneo said as he gently pushed her away. Quistis frowned, giving Gneo the puppy dog look. Within a second, Gneo quickly devised a plan.
"I'd rather go with him-" Gneo pulled Zell to his side, "he's better looking." Zell gave a weak smile.
"Uh-um-thanks…I think." Zell felt slightly uncomfortable with the blue creature hanging on to his arm.
"Well, well, then. I guess it means I'm stuck again with a group of unbelievably beautiful women. I must say, I'm one lucky guy…" Irvine said as he threw his arms around Quistis and Selphie's necks.
"Dream on, cowboy." Selphie said as she ducked out of Irvine's grasp and started walking away.
"Hey, wait up!" Quistis said as she ran after her. Irvine followed as well, leaving Gneo and Zell standing by the rocks where the fight took place earlier.
"Oh, okay guys, why don't we choose teams and figure out a way to go?" Zell said in a sarcastic tone.
"Oh, gee Zell that's a great idea! ButIwon'tlistentoyoubecauseIhavetwenty-threemillionpoundsofsugarpumpingthroughmyveinsallthetime, and I-la-la-la-la-la-what's going on? Hey! Is that a piece of candy I see three miles away from here? La-la-la-la-la-MINE!" Zell said in a high-pitched tone, trying his best to mock that of Selphie's, while holding his hands together near his face and rapidly flapping his eyelashes. Gneo laughed.
"Alright, you wanna go…….this way?" Zell pointed in the opposite direction that the others went in.
"Sure. Unless you wanna make out in that pile of rocks right there." Gneo pointed at a pile of rocks.
"Uh-no-er-thanks, I-ah-…I'll get a head start." Zell ran off in the direction he was pointing. Gneo started laughing harder.
"Ha-ha, oh man, something tells me my visit on this planet will be a funny one." Gneo thought aloud. He unzipped his black and green leather jacket, bearing toned, blue flesh. There was a large amount of tally marks and strange symbols carved into his chest.
"Five from this planet…" Gneo slowly took out a knife from a sheath on his right pant leg. It sang as it was freed from it's metal encasing, bringing a metal ringing song to bounce off of the trees. He brought the sharp gray blade to the right side of his chest, and pressed the knife softly into himself. He slowly dragged the knife diagonally in a "/" shaped line, tallying off the number five on his chest. He didn't flinch a bit. Finally, he brought the blade away from him, and up to his head to examine it. He took his time to savor his own thin green blood as he slowly licked it off with an orange tongue.
"Mmmm…this tastes really sweet…I should cut down on my sugar intake…but it tastes so good…ah, oh well." Gneo finished cleaning the knife, and then sheathed it without the need to look at it as he did so.
"Now, where did that blonde dude go?" Gneo started on his way to follow Zell.
Meanwhile, Quistis, Selphie, and Irvine were having great luck in not finding Squall or Rinoa.
"Where could they be? I'm starting to get worried." Selphie said as she climbed out of a lump of bushes.
"You're just getting started worrying? I have been for an hour, now!" Quistis exclaimed.
"A worrying blonde? Never heard o' one." Irvine remarked, causing Quistis clonked to him on the head with her fist. He merely tried to block, failed, and had no reaction. Of coarse, he did react to seeing Zell crawling out of the bushes that he was standing next to.
"Hey guys!" Zell said as he picked a few thorns off of his shirt.
"Zell! What? How did you get here? Weren't you with Gneo?" Quistis ran up to Zell, helping him out of the bush.
"Thanks. Yeah, I was. But uh…" Zell stopped in mid sentence.
"Awww…did he dump you?" Irvine said.
"Screw you!" Zell yelled.
"No thank you, I have Selphie for that," Irvine said. This caused Selphie to whack Irvine very hard on the back of his head with her nunchuckus, in the same place Quistis hit him before. "OW! THAT HURT!" He yelled.
"No, it was supposed to tickle, stupid head." Selphie remarked in a sarcastic tone.
"It was just that…guys, I think Gneo is gay." Zell said out flat.
"No! No, why? Why are all the hot guys either not interested in me, or gay?"
Meanwhile…
XxX Rinoa's POV XxX
"Why…oh why?" I thought to myself as I ran blindly through the forest. Why did the training center have to look like a forest or jungle or whatever? It would be better if there were less thorny plants and bushes. Oh Hyne, I have to pee. Where is an outhouse when you need it? I've never been to this part of the training center before…it's so big. I'm so depressed. I'm even talking to myself about it, does that make me insane? Crazy? For Squall maybe, but…he just never tries in our relationship. No, stop thinking that…it makes you cry, Rinoa. Stop referring to yourself in third person. Or just shut up. No, you shut up. Make me, bitch! Oh no you di-'int! Ow…tree…outhouse…outhouse! I must pee! I ran up to the outhouse, and knocked hard on the door. After only waiting only a split second to check if there was anyone in there already, I opened the door, which was unlocked, and quickly jumped in, not looking at the toilet, just turning around to lock the door and pull down my short-shorts. Oops, I thought I got fully dressed today. Oh well. Must pee…I quickly sat down on the toilet. But are toilets normally this soft and warm? And what the heck is this hard thing that's coming up from underneath me? I turn my head around and…
XxX End POV, back to normal-err…POV-thingy XxX
"Erm…hi Rinoa." Squall said in a slow, creaky voice. All Rinoa could do is gasp. That is, before a T-Rexaur ripped off a part of the roof of the outhouse. Rinoa screamed and stood up, pulling up her shorts. But before Squall could react, the T-Rexaur stuck again. Rinoa turned around and latched on to Squall. The T-Rexaur was able to catch Rinoa by the back of her shorts. It tried to pull Rinoa up and out of the outhouse, but the hole was barley big enough for it's two front fangs, so all it succeeded in doing was tearing off her shorts, leaving a half-naked Rinoa sobbing on the floor of the outhouse.
Of course, all of this was disturbing a once peacefully sleeping Gneo at the top of a nearby tree.
"What the hell?" Gneo said as he gained balance standing up on a branch to look out to see what was so damn important as to wake him up. He rubbed his eyes, and then saw a giant T-Rexaur standing in front of an outhouse, with a pair of short-shorts hanging off of it's teeth. It took a large bite out of the outhouse, relieving it of its entire roof.
"EEEEEEEEEK! I HATE JURASSIC PARK!" Rinoa screamed.
"Hey…that sounds like that Rinoa chick…I should probably help. But I'd hate to dirty this shirt more than it already is…but then again, I am hungry." Gneo drew Kazama from it's home on his back. It sang as he removed it, greeting Gneo with a song of death.
"Ready for some food, buddy?" Gneo greeted the sword. Of course it didn't answer, so Gneo decided to take action. He ran down the branch he was standing on, not losing his balance. When he was close enough, he jumped off, landing on the beast's back. The T-Rexaur did not seem to notice Gneo's presence, until he shoved his sword straight down into its spinal chord. It didn't seem to like that. It immediately stopped trying to eat Squall and Rinoa, and focused on the task at hand. Or rather on back. As is had a sword impaling it's spine, it was fully paralyzed, so it could do nothing to help itself. It fell over onto the outhouse, somehow not crushing it. All it did was block the door and the hole it ripped open in the roof.
"Bull's-eye. Hi T-Rexaur! Wanna have a brain-freeze? Literally? Of course you do." Gneo dug the sword deeper into the dino's back; blood rapidly seeping out and flowing over his shoes. Gneo licked his lips as he pictured his meal awaiting him. He froze the hilt of the sword, and let the energy surge downward past the blade, and finally to the monster itself. It froze over the blood, stopping the bleeding immediately, and continued up and down the spine, creating a blue line as it traveled over the body. He waited until he heard the freezing stop to pull out the sword.
"Chow time." Gneo said as he hacked away at the beast. He chopped, and hacked, and sliced, and literally drilled his way down into the opening where the T-Rexaur bit open the roof. Rinoa squealed as he poked his blood-drenched body into the outhouse.
"Ha, ha, you people look funny upside down." Gneo laughed as he sung upright, and dropped down to stand level with the half naked couple. He was soaked head to toe in ruby red T-Rexaur blood. It dripped all around him. Even his dreadlocks were drenched in blood. Rinoa backed up as to not get equally as wet.
"AH! Gneo, get out!" Rinoa yelled.
"Is that how you thank your savoir? Tch, fine." Gneo snapped his fingers, and two sounds could be heard from outside. One, the sound of a lot of ice shattering. Two, the sound of a T-Rexaur in serious pain. It squealed and roared, and made odd noises. This attracted the group of Zell, Selphie, Irvine, and Quistis, who were just walking by to see what was causing the T-Rexaur to break out in horrid seizures. After ten seconds of ear splitting roaring and odd shaking movements, the T-Rexaur finally got off the house, and fell on the tree Gneo was sleeping in earlier, crushing it to pieces.
"What was that?" Squall asked.
"Ever had your brain literally explode after being frozen?" Gneo asked.
"Ewww…I don't want to go out there. Not to mention the fact that I'm half naked. Gneo, out NOW!" Rinoa yelled.
"Okay, okay, geez…" Gneo opened the door, to find Selphie, Zell, Irvine and Quistis. Zell, Selphie, and Quistis clapped their hands over their eyes, while Irvine just starred at the sight of a half naked Rinoa. They could barley see Squall.
"No! Gneo, shut it!" Rinoa ordered. Gneo slammed the door shut.
"Okay…first you want me out, then you want me to shut the door. Pick one.
"Out." Rinoa pointed up.
"Oh. I see…" Gneo jumped very high up, and opened up a teleport hole above him, which had its exit reside where Zell, Selphie, Quistis, and Irvine were standing.
"Gneo!" Quistis ran up to Gneo, but then stopped short at the sight of every inch of him covered in T-Rexaur blood.
"Whoa! I could use this as a blonde repellent! Cool…" Gneo licked some of the blood off of his arm, then licked his lips. "Is there anything you need to ask me? Or can I eat now?" Gneo asked. After hearing no reply after a few seconds, he turned around and ran towards the dead T-Rexaur, and started eating, his four fangs—two on the top and two on the bottom became very visible. Suddenly, Rinoa barged out of the outhouse, wearing Squall's Moogle-print boxers.
"Hi guys!" Rinoa yelled. Quistis and Selphie rushed up to greet her. Zell and Irvine walked over to Squall as he walked out.
"Hey, at least I don't need to ask you the gig question, 'boxers or briefs?'" Irvine stated.
"Yeah, Rinoa looks better in them than you do." Zell remarked. This caused Squall to get Zell in a headlock and to give him a noogie. Zell was able to escape out of it, and he spun around Squall, pinning his arm behind him. All was good. Laughter, playing, and a few rumbling tummies.
"Hey guys, you wanna ditch this place?" Selphie asked. "We are starving."
"Sure." Zell let go of Squall's arm.
"Hey, blue dude." Irvine yelled. Gneo's head popped out of the dead T-Rexaur. "Okay red dude…hey, now you aren't a bligger!" Irvine yelled. A hole opened up in front of Irvine in which Gneo came out of.
"Never again." Said Gneo after a few seconds of glaring.
"Okay, hey, it's getting late," Irvine looked at the over sized clock on the ceiling. "About eight thirty. Would you like to join us in dinner?" Irvine tried to sound as gentlemen-like as he could.
"Night-food? That's okay, I got plenty of food. Want some?" Gneo asked. Selphie almost puked. Again.
"Um, I think what he meant, was would you like to maybe take some of that-um-T-Rexaur meat with you and sit and talk with us in the cafeteria while we all eat?" Selphie asked politely.
"Sure." Gneo jumped back in the hole that led to the sight of the T-Rexaur, and remerged seconds later with a large heart twice the size of his own head. "Okay, I'm ready." Gneo replied.
"Well then, let's go! I'm so hungry…" Zell led the way as they started out the training center, and to the cafeteria.
XxXHello! Sorry this one is a bit shorter then other chapters…and that it took so frick'en long. Here is my excuse. I am a Red Belt in Tae-Kwon-Do. Very close to being a Red Belt with Black stripe. (Then after that, I'm a full-fledged Black Belt! Yay .) Anyway, I challenged myself to breaking four boards with my right fist. The first three were split in half by my punch, but the fourth one kinda disagreed with me, and it kinda messed up my hand. It hurt to type. Sorry. Also, next week is spring break for me. So, if you don't see this updated in a little more than a week, don't try to kill me. I will be away from all things Internet-like. Sorry again. Please don't kill me. BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You will have a very hard time trying. Rock on. (Hi Shadowrules! No, YOU rule:P ) Also, thank you all reviewers! You all kick total ass!
O.J. did it.