Chapter Notes: This is the aftermath of Snape's Outburst from Lily's POV

Chapter 2 : Severance

Chapter Text:

I honestly don't remember how long I was crying. I knew Sev wasn't coming back. His black eyes that beacons me to reach out had looked at me with no warmth. Still I was hoping he would come back and give me a chance to explain myself. For years I have known how important I am to Sev and subconsciously I've relied on that for quite some time. Despite some of Sev's bad decisions, I've found that he is willing to go the extra mile for our friendship. We are both stubborn, but he always ends up giving me the victory. Not this time, it seems. I guess I pushed him too far. What a goddamn idiot I am! I can't believe I might've pushed him enough to fully commit to joining the future Death Eaters group.

I finally got out of the Room of Requirement at the early dawn and headed up to the prefect's bathroom. I let the water try to wash away all the complicated feelings I have. Surprisingly, the strongest feeling I am experiencing right now is Self Loathing. There were so many ways I could've handled it that might not have ended in such a disaster. I just had to go out there and try to gain an upper hand without even understanding his side of the story. But the more I think about it, the more I remember why I was angry with him. He does have his mistakes, and I should've tried to ease the conversation to make him understand. Fuck! This is so frustrating! Not only did I fail to make him see his mistakes, I had literally all my subconscious shortcomings thrown back at my face and possibly our friendship.

I screamed and kicked the bucket away. This is the worst thing to happen right now. I am finally warming upto James and despite my reluctance to date him, I know that all he needs is some change in his attitude and he would be an amazing person to date. I can see the good that is in him despite his childish, albeit sometimes cruel behavior. The way he cares for his friend and protects Remus is truly incredible, especially in the light of the revelation that Lupin suffers from such a terrible curse. Yet, what was once a very warm spot in my heart feels so cold in light of Sev's emotional burst! James lied to me not directly but he didn't give me the full picture and being the absolute dunce I am, I took his words over Sev's. I know why I believed James over Sev. After what happened to Mary and how Sev didn't take it seriously, I knew that I couldn't fully trust him. That is also another reason why I am so frustrated. I need Sev to understand what Mulciber and their friend did was absolutely wrong. His attitude all throughout last week got on my nerves and I couldn't help but blow up on him. I should've known that he would retaliate. He is not the scrawny kid who would let people walk all over him, Sev has changed. As much as I hate Slytherins and Malfoy, I know that they bought a change in Sev's demeanor that made him more confident and sure of himself. I should've known that he saw me in the store. James wasn;t even supposed to be there. Mary went out and invited him behind my back. I wish Sev had seen me before I finally relented and started talking with James. The first few hours I basically ignored him. Still I can't even imagine how much it must've hurt him to see my lie. This is an absolute mess and I made it all the more worse by not talking to him and letting Mary influence me too much. I can't even deny her. She is one of my closest friends and after what happened to her, I want her to feel as safe as possible and I know that she needs me as an ally. I need a way to fix this. You know what! I will fix this! Sev and I have been friends for this long, through so much. I am not going to give up, and I know as long as I am willing to listen to him, he will forgive me and be my friend again. I walk out of the shower with this new-found determination, only to find Alice standing outside the stall waiting for her shower.

"The way you screamed I thought James somehow sneaked his way in the Bath Stall, specially with how you were missing all night" Alice said with a smirk. Pretty much implying that I had spent the night with James. Oh how wrong she was!

"If he did I would've reported him to the headmaster" I said with a much more serious tone than I usually use when my friends are teasing me about James. I cannot talk to anyone before I get the mess with Sev fixed. I need to have firm resolution and be able to fully hear and understand his side of the story without any outside influence. I am not going to make the same mistake again.

Hearing the tone Alice's smirk vanished and she looked at me with genuine concern and asked me what was wrong. I really wanna talk to Alice about Sev. I know she would care and she would be willing to understand Sev's side more than Mary ever would but I can't give into that desire. I am sorry Alice but I can't talk about atleast not until I know it's okay to talk about what Sev told me.

"Yes I am fine. Don't worry about it. See you at breakfast?"

I can see that Alice didn't believe me and despite her reluctance she says "Alright"

I went to the Library and sat in the northern corner behind the big bookshelf. This is the spot me and Sev usually sit. This is our secret corner. Not too many people even know that it is here and it lets us escape Marauders and his Slytherin friends. I was hoping to see him here but sadly I found the spot empty. Well I can still talk with him after our Potions class. I know that he has two free periods after Potions and our Potions is right after breakfast. So maybe we can go together after breakfast and talk after the class. I have Charms after Potions but I'll miss it. Sev takes absolute priority right now. I decided to try and get a quick nap before breakfast as exhaustion was finally taking over.

Sadly the nap never came and I thought about Sev more and more. The feeling that I would lead a life where Sev might not be part of is genuinely terrifying. The absolute gryffindor courage led determination that I had also started waning down as I went to the great hall to get breakfast. I tried to avoid my usual sit on the Gryffindor table and try to sit in the corner with the sixth years. Considering Alice's tone, I am sure the Gryffindor house is buzzing with the rumor of my supposade escapade. I simply can't deal with it. I took a look at the Slytherin table to find Snape and didn't see him. I saw Narcissa however who looked at me curiously as if she both loathes me but she is curious about something. I decided to ignore her. A small part of me is definitely pissed off that she somehow got Sev to enter Honeydukes where I failed year after year. There's no doubt that she is the most beautiful girl in our school and when Sev started hanging out with her I weirdly got defensive. I don't know why but that didn't last when Lucious and she started dating. It was almost as if I was jealous but that can't be it right? I had no reason to be jealous.

In the midst of thought I hear Mary calling my name. She was waving at me with a smirk. I am pretty sure she is thinking that I am avoiding her because I spent the night with James doing god knows what she is thinking. I just rolled my eyes and tried eating my breakfast. I didn't have an appetite.I suddenly started hearing murmurs around the Gryffindor table. Curious as to what caused the shift in attention, I looked around and found what caused the interesting looks. Lucious Malfoy was at the Slytherin table and was talking to Narcissa. Lucious said something and Narcissa nodded. They both walk out of the great hall.

Well that was strange. Lucious has already graduated so why would he be here? Maybe something to do with Narcissa. He did come to Hogwarts a few weeks back just to take Narcissa on a date. I didn't think too much about it. I looked around the Slytherin table to find Snape and I still don't see him. Well he does have a bad habit of coming in late and barely eating. I am just hoping that he is just late and not trying to avoid me. But the unsettling feeling starts to take hold off me. I keep on looking in the direction of the Slytherin table and I still don't see him. By the time breakfast ends I am fidgeting to go to Potions. I took our usual seat and waited for him.

Surprisingly Slughorn seemed to be late. Slughorn enters almost 20 minutes late. Sev still doesn't show up.

Slughorn had a very heavy expression as he entered the class.

"I am sorry for how late I am. There has been an emergency. I am bearing bad news. One of our best and brightest students, Severus Snape, will not be able to continue with us in Hogwarts as he is facing some serious family issues. I am sure you will hear more from our Headma-"

I stood and ran for the door. I have to reach the Headmaster's room as fast as I can. What a goddamn idiot I was. Slughorn and Dumbledore both were missing from Breakfast now that I think about it. Snape doesn't show up, Lucious walks in the great hall and takes Narcissa away in such serious fashion. How the hell didn't I see it coming! I wanted to talk with Sev today and go to the Headmaster to make sure Sev doesn't get any punishment. This wasn't supposed to happen. Why was it happening?

Trying to get through the long corridor as fast as I can, I slip and cut my leg. It's bleeding but I can't seem to care. The only thing in my mind is to try and reach the Headmaster's room as fast as I can. I reach Headmaster's room only to find Flitwick outside saying that Headmaster went out with Severus and Abaraxas Malfoy. Flitwick called after me as I ran towards the Courtyard. My feet are hurting but I can't give up now. I am pushing myself but I finally get a look at Sev from the 4th floor balcony as he is walking towards the main door with his luggage. I see Lucious and Narcissa beside him and Abraxas chatting with Dumbledore just a bit ahead. I screamed Sev's name and he didn't hear me. By the time I went down I see Dumbledore coming in and he looked at me with his calm demeanor and smiled at me.

"Hello Miss Evans. Beautiful day, isn't it?"

As always my Snily fic recommendation is Love series by Runrarebit. ( /series/2689843)

This series is phenomenon and one of the main reason why I decided to write a fanfic. There is very few fanfics that so masterfully handles the erotics as well as the emotions. The series has 3 works and it's kind of openended? It does have a slight hint of Severus and James pairing but let me tell you this, the way the fic does it actually made me interested to see this pairing. This series straight out gave me a sexual identity crisis.

If you like the story or have any criticize than let me know in the comments or you can raid my twitter to see me share bunch of anime lewds. My twitter handle is thatevafag