As we walk up the stairs, I think to myself what could be so fantastic about the view from the upstairs of Lauren's house? Craig pushes open a door, it leads to Lauren's parent's bedroom.
"Won't we get in trouble for being in here?"
I ask nervously. Lauren's parents were not at home and I doubted they would appreciate guests in their room.
"Don't worry, no one even has to know we're here." Craig assures me.
He shuts the bedroom door and walks over to me. He places both hands on my waist and kisses me, softly I close my eyes and go with it.
He pushes me backwards, onto the bed and he lies on top of me. I become more nervous about the whole situation. Something feels really wrong. I pull my face away from his.
"Mara was right. I knew you'd be up for this." He tells me excitedly and pulls my face back towards his own and kisses me again, I feel his hand creeping up inside my top and his other reaching down to his jeans.
I am not ready for this, what does he mean he knew I'd be up for this? I had never done anything like this in my life.
I try to sit up and push him off me. "No, I'm not up for this." I whisper.
"Sure you are, just relax." He tells me, a hint of annoyance in his voice.
"no.. I'm really not, lets just go back downstairs, please?" I tell him, louder this time as I'm growing more fearful by the second.
"I told you to just relax!" this time he shouts at me, angrily and pushes me back down onto the hard mattress.
Something inside me snaps, I start to scream, as loud as I can. I doubt anyone can hear my over the music downstairs. Craig jumps off me as the door opens.
It's Lauren. She stands at the door completely stunned, mouth wide open holding open the door with one hand on the handle still. I quickly run, out of the bedroom and down the stairs, back into the middle of the party. My heart is still pounding and I feel sick to my stomach.
I run past Jessi and Sanjita, I run past so many familiar faces who are staring at me, as if I'm crazy, running through the house like some sort of freak. Unfortunately, I can't run terribly well on these horrible high heels. Suddenly, I'm running no longer. I've ran right into someone. I haven't seen whose face the body I've ran into belongs until he puts both hands on my shoulders and looks me strait in the face.
"Mallory? What are you doing?" It's Ben. Ben Hobart my sort-of boyfriend from 6th grade. We haven't really spoken since I returned from boarding school. He doesn't look quite the same, but I still recognise that accent.
"I.. I have to get out of here, right now!" I tell him, my voice shaking. And with that, I'm crying. He takes me in his arms and just holds me. He doesn't make me nervous or scared. I feel safe even though I'm still frightened.
"Let me take you home, and you can tell me what happened?" He gestures towards the front door and we leave. Lauren lives on Locust Ave. We walk to the end of the street and left onto Burnt Hill Road. My house is not too much further away.
I shiver in the cold night air without a jacket. I'm so embarrassed but great full to Ben all the same.
"Well, you're certainly not the Mallory Pike I remember." Ben announces after a few minutes of nothing but silence.
I can't think of anything to say to that, so I just give him a weak smile. A little while ago, I would have taken that as nothing but a compliment. But after tonight and the way he says it, maybe it's not such a great thing after all.
"Do you want to tell me what happened to you in there?" He asks when we arrive at my driveway.
"Well, it all happened pretty quickly, I don't really know. One minute Craig and I were talking downstairs, then he insisted I take a look at the view upstairs. Next thing I know I'm in the Aronsen's main bedroom pushing him off of me. He wouldn't listen when I said no. He said Mara said I'd be 'up for it.' " "I don't know why she'd say that" I added.
Ben just stares at me with a very serious look on his face.
"I'd never ever do that". Is all he manages to reply.
Suddenly, I realize he's right. I realize how much I've missed him too.
"I know that." I tell him. I can't help it. I turn towards him and kiss him. I realize that I'm probably just confused and pull away.
"I'm sorry." I say. I'm not even sure that I am. I'm just confused.
"Don't be." He assures me, and this time, he kisses me. This time, it just feels right. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach that I felt earlier returns.
"Do you want to come inside, and just talk?" I ask him. I've missed talking to Ben a lot.
"Not tonight Mal, but soon." He assures me. He kisses me on the cheek, and with that he walks off home.
When I walk inside, I realize that it's 1 am. Every light in the house is off, so I throw my shoes inside the front door along with about 6 other pairs of shoes that belong to various members of my family.
I race up the stairs and into the bedroom, even though a lamp is on, Vanessa is asleep, sitting up with a book on her lap. I think to myself about how much she reminds me of my former self. Curled up in bed with a book instead of out at all hours of the morning, drinking alcohol and getting into scary situations with boys she hardly knows.
That's when the tears well up again. Something just doesn't feel right. About everything. About Mara Semple and all her nasty remarks, about the falling out with Jessi.
I resolve to get to the bottom of it all and figure out what went wrong. I throw Maria's clothes onto the floor. I never want to see them again. I run into the bathroom in my underwear, knowing that 1 am is one of the rare occasions I can do that without being seen.
I wash myself clean, it doesn't wash away everything that's happened tonight, but it's a start.
I run back to my bedroom in my towel. I slip into a comfortable sweater and track pants and hop into my bed. I pull out my diary from under the mattress and begin writing.
"I don't know where things started to go wrong, I thought I was changing for the better. I never considered these repercussions. Maybe I deserved this.. Maybe Mara Semple just thought she was trying to help? Maybe she truly is nasty and evil…"
Either way, I will find out.
In the morning, I am awoken by Vanessa's giggling. I open my heavy eyes to see her holding up the top I wore last night.
"Did you seriously wear this Mallory?" She giggles.
"Yes Vanessa!" I snap.
"Really? You?" She laughs some more.
"Yes! Really! Now put it away I don't want to see it!" I snap again and roll back over. I stare at the digital bedside clock. It reads 9.05 am. I feel like I've only had an hours sleep if any at all.
"You'd better get a move on if you want breakfast Mal." Vanessa tells me.
"I'm not hungry." I lie. Truthfully, I just want to hide away in my bed until Monday morning.
"Well, if you don't come down, mom and dad will wonder why not." She replies cooly. I know she's right, so within seconds I'm following her downstairs into the kitchen.
Everyone is at the table when we arrive. Eating an assortment of bacon, eggs and toast.
"That must have been some study session." Mom says as soon as she catches my eye.
I cannot look her in the eye. "Um, yeah.. It was."
"I mean, to be there until 1 am without even a phone call? It must have been." She answers sceptically.
Before I can think of a response, she interrupts me " You know, Liz Cohen rang here at 8 am, asking where you had gotten to last night. I could have sworn you told me you were at her place. Where were you really last night Mallory Pike?" she demands. And this time I know there is no escaping the truth.