Two round space pods containing Muten Roshi and Tenshinhan each separated from the grander spaceship they both used to approach the orbit of the enigmatic Planet Ephemeris. Launch observed the descent as well as the progress of the overall mission from up aboard. Since nobody knew about the conditions that Tenshinhan and Muten Roshi would face on Ephemeris, someone had to monitor the vital signs from a safe location and relay this integral information.
Plus, even if the spacesuits did the most protecting and one didn't need to be a titan of physical strength and toughness and possess the gift of Ki manipulation to survive in space with it, it was still much safer for Launch to stay aboard the spaceship. As notable as the protective gear was, it was still not above failure or decimation due to especially extreme conditions.
"I have a bad feeling about this…" Launch squeaked in a puny, high-pitched voice. "Is there really nothing we can say about this planet's conditions?"
"That is correct. No databases available, neither that of the Frieza Army, the Saiyans, or any of the space stations we've passed through, have any data on Planet Ephemeris. The location of this planet in its system would suggest that it shouldn't have conditions that are too severe. It is a gas giant, but it doesn't possess immense gravitational fields nor does it host severe cosmic storms. Its distance from its star seems to put it into a sweet zone for life to flourish as the average temperature on the planet's surface ranges from 60 to 80 degrees Celsius," the ship's AI estimated.
"That's rather hot. Did you take the boxes of soda I prepared?" Launch wondered about it on the communications with the descending space pods.
"Don't worry, Launch-chan. That much heat can't even make water boil. Us martial artists can handle far worse than that if we put our hearts in it," Muten Roshi tried calming the woman down while squirming in his pod. Crashing through the gaseous atmosphere of an unknown alien world was quite outside of the old martial arts master's comfort zone.
Tenshinhan remained deceitfully quiet, choosing instead to stay focused and observe the porthole of his space pod that the Capsule Corps had modeled after the Saiyan Attack Balls. The martial artist let out a brief snort when he saw a cute atmosphere of bubblegum-pink clouds and vicious lightning storms of neon-blue brightening up the sky as well. These were rather flamboyant colors for an atmosphere of a planet so mysterious and supposedly frightening.
"I am interested in how the Ultimate Dragon Ball could have ended up on a gas giant planet in the first place. Aren't they supposed to be entirely made of compressed gas?" Tenshinhan wondered.
"Negative. Preliminary readings from the atmosphere suggest that these clouds have an astounding concentration of alcohol and sugar in them. Whatever this alien gas composing this planet's atmosphere is, if one descends deep enough, eventually the planet's pressure will squeeze it tightly. It is entirely possible that, because of the sugary composition, the surface of this planet is black, cottony, and sticky due to this material being exposed to the crushing mass of the planet's atmosphere stacked over it," the ship's AI responded on Tenshinhan's communication link.
"A planet of alcoholic cotton candy, huh?" Muten Roshi chuckled to himself, making a goofy smile that beamed out even through the thick, protective spacesuit that he wore.
"There's no wonder I cannot get any Ki signatures from this place. It must be uninhabited. There's nothing that could grow on the surface of such a planet and a pressure such as this on its surface would squeeze the water into a solid-state almost instantly," Tenshinhan theorized.
"The universe is a truly marvelous place…" Muten Roshi replied. "We don't have enough time in our lifetimes to explore even our own world. To think that there are sights and experiences like these waiting out there for discovery. Simply breathtaking…"
"An uninhabited planet of cotton candy. This should be easy, then. I'm so glad…" Launch sighed easier and relaxed in her chair, looking up at the ceiling as she made a few turns around with the chair just to stop her worrying heart from pounding in her chest. After a little while of daydreaming, the woman sat up and looked at the monitors to examine the data. The signals from both Tenshinhan and Muten Roshi had been absent.
"Huh…" she muttered under her own nose. "This is odd. Where are they? Did they leave their pods? Have they made it onto the surface? Maybe they're just gathering some space cotton candy for me? Guys, you shouldn't have! It's bad for your teeth and for your skin!"
"Negative. The signals of Muten Roshi and Tenshinhan have disappeared," the ship's AI reported.
"Eh? How's that possible?" Launch went pale as her lips gaped wider and wider as the woman realized the ramifications behind that statement better and better.
"I'm not sure. One thing is safe to say–Muten Roshi and Tenshinhan are no longer within the range of this solar system," the ship reported.
"Huh? Wait! You mean you can't sense those Ki cooties coming out of them anymore!?" Launch smacked her own cheeks with both her hands and nearly fell out from her chair. Had Capsule Corps not secured it to handle intense cosmic gravitational and climate phenomena, she'd have surely fallen flat on her back.
"Negative. The ship's signal isn't tied to Muten Roshi's or Tenshinhan's Ki signatures, but with their spacesuits," the ship's AI reported.
"So then, maybe they took their space suits off? They're pretty strong so they should be able to handle the conditions of Planet Ephemeris if they're as lukewarm as you've made them out to be," Launch tried calming herself down, gently placing her hand over her chest to try and shove her pumping heart back deeper within the ribcage it tried busting out from.
"Impossible. There are no data readings from any of the spacesuits or their space pods either. That suggests that they must have been destroyed. However, there was no sign or data to suggest that they were ever under any danger. There were no prior readings of powerful gravitational fields, a rise or fall in temperature. Tenshinhan and Muten Roshi, and their gear, were there one moment, and they were gone the next. Planet Ephemeris is truly a planet of mystery," the ship explained.
"N-No way… How are we going to retrieve the Ultimate Dragon Ball now?" Launch whimpered, nearly bursting into tears.
"Might I suggest calling for reinforcements? My registry suggests that Yamcha and Krillin have had success in destroying a troublesome planet, then locating and extracting the Ultimate Dragon Ball from its wreckage," the ship's AI suggested. "Right now, there is no indication that any further attempts to enter Planet Ephemeris wouldn't end in your disappearance, which would sabotage the entire mission as there would be nobody left to pursue this Ultimate Dragon Ball and no one would know about the perils of Planet Ephemeris."
"Yeah… That's right… I should… Call someone…" Launch wondered, mashing the buttons frantically and looking for an option to contact someone that could have helped her extract the Ultimate Dragon Ball for her and destroy this accursed planet. Then her hand stopped over a button and clenched into a fist. "But… If someone destroys this planet then… Muten Roshi-san and Tenshinhan-san… They'll be… They'll be gone… Forever…"
Launch closed her eyes, pulling in a cute sniffle as she struggled against tears. She was a cowardly woman for rushing to contact someone and ask them to blast this planet into oblivion just because she was afraid of it or what she left behind on it. Images of Muten Roshi greeting her in the morning in the kitchen, handing her various new and cute Turtle School uniforms every time the old martial arts master changed them and patting her on the shoulder ran through Launch's memory. She recalled staring into Tenshinhan's muscular back and hearing his firm and reassuring voice repeatedly. Something lurking inside of her chest burnt up with a flame of courage unlike that which Launch thought she ever possessed.
"Right… I'm going!" Launch jumped and clenched her fist, even if it still trembled, as well as her wavering lip and her teary eyes. Still, despite her incessant whimpering, the blue-haired woman rushed to the section where the spacesuits hung and pulled one out to slip into. "Prepare the pod!" she commanded.
"This is a bad idea," the ship's AI immediately sprung into action even though it obeyed Launch's orders and opened up the hatch, revealing a prepared-for-launch space pod resting in it. Launch hopped into it and grabbed hold of the wheel. With a crude blast from the back, the ship ejected the pod and fired it toward Planet Ephemeris.
The cold vastness of black space greeted Launch. The naïve and aloof woman leaned forward, feeling the cold tempered glass of the porthole as she gazed upon the stars. The bubblegum-colored, cloudy surface of Planet Ephemeris came closer and closer into view until the pink shroud swallowed her whole. White, static-filled clouds formed a cloak of resistance through which Launch's pod didn't hesitate to punch through.
"Hold on, ya mean asshole and old pervert! I'm comin' to get ya outta this dump!" Launch boldly proclaimed, jumping up in surprise as she looked around herself with a wide gaze of shock. "Huh? What the heck gives!? Where the heck did the other me go? I don't remember sneezin'. How did we change places?"
This was one of the lesser problems, however, as Launch looked around and saw that there was no trace of her spacecraft anywhere to be seen, nor was there even a strand left of her spacesuit. Her entire body seemed like it was made of some ethereal, pink energy that shimmered brightly, like a plasma construct. Not to mention, her hair had a more intense, reddish hue to it and a similar, scarlet heart shape gleamed on the center of the chest of Launch's spiritual form. Feeling up her hair, however, Launch could definitely feel that they were curly and spiky. She had truly morphed into her other form somehow without sneezing.
"I know you must be confused, Launch-san. Please, for the sake of our mission and Planet Earth, however, I need you to focus," Tenshinhan's voice made Launch freeze in place. The woman turned to her right and saw a lone, floating, and blinking eye, surrounded by a similar, ethereal layer that helped the lone eye blink on an occasion.
"Tenshinhan?" Launch exclaimed. "But I thought you were gone!"
"So, it seems. Planet Ephemeris is truly a perilous place. Everything and anything physical seems to disappear without a trace here. It is a place only of the spiritual and the otherwise metaphysical. That is why you can fly around freely and the ship's AI cannot get a read on this planet or survey it through drones or probes," Tenshinhan's spiritual construct explained.
"Huh? Fly?" Launch wondered, looking down and seeing that she was indeed floating in mid-air, just like the accompanying eye was hovering right beside her.
"Your twin personalities, the two spirits sharing the same body, must have tricked Planet Ephemeris' atmospheric effects. The planet consumed your other half, leaving the spirit of the current you completely intact. That is fortunate for us because this planet demands immense concentration and spiritual presence to manifest a spiritual form. That is why I can manifest in such a pitiful shape," Tenshinhan explained.
"Eh? So, what yer sayin' is that I should be able to just swoop down and pick up that Ultimate Dragon Ball, right?" Launch pondered.
"Yes. Whatever powerful magic comprises the Ultimate Dragon Balls, it appears to supersede the effects of Planet Ephemeris as well as we've been able to trace the signal of the Ultimate Dragon Ball from far away–that means that the planet's atmosphere has done nothing to the Ultimate Dragon Ball." Tenshinhan said.
"Okay! I'm just about done lettin' you guys feel all high and mighty about yerselves! It's about time that I save the world too!" Launch smirked and blasted down in a straightforward, head-first dive. "Guide the way, hotcake!" she growled out.
In a ghastly howl, the Tenshinhan's spiritual form of an eyeball manifested over Launch's speeding spiritual avatar and began guiding her toward where the signal of the Ultimate Dragon Ball last was and where they, alongside Muten Roshi, had planned to land. Launch navigated her dive through the candy-like clouds. Whatever weight they supposedly had, in her spiritual form, Launch couldn't feel any of it, no matter how deep and how much closer to the planet's core she descended. Then constructs of bubbling, black bog, compressed into a stringy, cottony form of candy, came into view. It was a layer of the planet's mantle that surrounded its core.
"What a haunting place, despite its cutesy visage…" Tenshinhan observed. "The way I am now, I can feel the calls of millions of souls lost on this planet alongside us. Muten Roshi-san must be somewhere too. I'm surprised that he wasn't able to manifest a form as well. I thought him to be a much more mature and spiritual man."
"That old pervert?" Launch cringed. "Give me a break! He'll be the last one to mature and learn to get spiritual so that he can leave this wreck."
"Yes, perhaps Muten Roshi-san's focus on the bodily pleasures obstructs his view of the deeper, more spiritual experiences…" Tenshinhan noted, wondering if Launch stumbled onto this answer because of her own spiritual maturity or just dumb luck. The twin-natured woman grabbed hold of the Ultimate Dragon Ball and played with it, flinging it in her hand like an apple she couldn't wait to dig her teeth into.
"Alright, I've got it! Let's scram!" Launch pumped her ethereal fist with the Ultimate Dragon Ball in hand.
"No, please wait. If we leave, we'll be leaving Muten Roshi-san behind!" Tenshinhan halted Launch's ambitions to depart. "Even if this is the true meaning behind this planet's perilous nature, to help people understand and get in control of their spiritual selves before leaving it, we cannot leave Muten Roshi-san behind."
"Well, if you say so…" Launch cleared her throat, turning her eyes away. "Even if I don't like this cutesy, pink look on me. If you say so, we can stay here and help Muten Roshi get off this place too."
"Thank you, Launch-san. Even though I am unsure how you've maintained your entire spiritual self and why it has taken the form it has, thank you for understanding," the floating, disembodied eyeball that contained the entirety of Tenshinhan's physical self nodded forward a bit.
"Well, don't get me wrong, ya asshole, it ain't like I'm doin' it for you, or anythin', not after how mean you were to me back on the ship," Launch closed her eyes and blew her cheeks out, pouting her lips in a childish caprice.
"Oh, I was hoping to apologize to you for that. Though by the time I came to my senses, your other half was already in control. If you don't mind me asking, why are you willing to be so noble and stay this way for Muten Roshi-san, if not to fulfill my request?" Tenshinhan wondered.
"Sh-Shut up!" Launch turned around and crossed her arms, all flustered. "I just… I just don't want to hand the wheel back to my other self again! With any luck, she'll be gone from my body for good and stay in this place forever to learn a thing or two about being less of a pansy!"
"I think you're being too mean on your other self, Launch-san. I think your other half has far more courage than you give it credit for, and you are a lot nicer than you make yourself out to be. I am wondering if your dual nature was the reason you kept your ethereal form like this. Perhaps there is a more powerful, spiritual force inside you that overpowered the adverse effects of Planet Ephemeris' atmosphere…" Tenshinhan said.
"Whatever… How long do ya think we'll have to wait for that old pervert to learn to embrace the spiritual side of things, you think?" Launch wondered. "I thought maybe we could play cards or something. If this place is all spiritual and stuff, I might snap some into being. Then maybe you could work on manifesting a mouth so I could feed you too…"
"Well… Luckily for us, it's no coincidence that it was my eye that kept its spiritual form. My third eye can gaze through that which usually remains unseen and is much more perceptive than any physical sense. I should be able to home in on Muten Roshi-san's spiritual self, lost in this vast prison of spirits," Tenshinhan turned his eye toward the endless layers of candy clouds over his head.
"There you are, Muten Roshi-san…" Tenshinhan muttered to himself as if needing to ground the anchor of his own voice to stay in his spiritual eyeball form. "I need you to listen to me and abandon your physical needs, your physical body, and turn to your spiritual side. That is how you will get a physical avatar on this plane and leave this place. Please, move past your…"
A mellow, lime-colored cloud descended and began hovering just a few inches off of Tenshinhan's side. The confused eyeball blinked a few times before the shapeless cloud morphed into a star shape and, after getting some practice, shaped the face of Muten Roshi.
"What a curious form… Somehow, even as an eyeball, I can tell that it's stinky…" Tenshinhan hissed out.
"Yeah, the perversion of that old fart must reek pretty bad. I'd say the form of a fart cloud fits the old fart like a glove," Launch crossed her arms.
"Stop bad-mouthing your elders. Is there nothing sacred to either of you?" Muten Roshi lost his temper as his shapeless form changed color into a bright-red fart cloud instead of its previous lime color.
"Yer the one who can't come up with anything that's not utterly pervy," Launch growled out before jumping up and beginning to swim upward.
"That's okay. We should regain our physical forms after leaving this planet's atmosphere. Once we're out, I can take both of you to the spacecraft if you hold your breath," Tenshinhan settled it.
Thus the curious spiritual adventure of the strangest trio of the Dragon Team was over and another Ultimate Dragon Ball was recovered from the mysterious Planet Ephemeris, hosting millions of souls of adventurous visitors until they become spiritually mature enough to gain solid ethereal form and leave the planet's prison by themselves.
"Launch-san…" Muten Roshi approached the blonde back on the ship, rubbing his elderly back after yet another training session with Tenshinhan under intense gravity.
"Oh, you're back to normal, I was wondering. That means that Tenshinhan must be back too…" Launch smirked. She couldn't help but look crude with every excessive facial tick she showed.
"He is, but I wanted to thank you for what you did for me first," Muten Roshi bowed the upper half of his body in gratitude.
"Huh? You mean for pulling your sorry asses out? Yer welcome, old geezer. You can just serve me breakfast some time. Just don't you dare make it yerself, make it some of that stuff from the ship, got it?" Launch growled, shaking a fist of premature threatening at the old man.
"That is not quite what I meant. You see, I don't think either you or Tenshinhan understand why it was that you could maintain such a strong avatar down there. It's because of your fiery-hot adoration of Tenshinhan," Muten Roshi pointed out. "It was once I realized that I could try and find something within myself to grab hold on to and manifest a spiritual form of sorts too."
"Heh, yeah… Some spiritual form that turned out to be - a measly fart cloud!" Launch smirked with crude mockery again.
"Well, it appears I still have my issues to work through. You were right. My obsession with the pleasures of the material plane made it difficult for even my experience in the spirituality of martial arts to make a solid spiritual construct. It was once I found respect for you as a woman and your spiritual purity that I could form even the measliest forms that I took back on Planet Ephemeris. If I am to hone my body and become the strongest and fullest martial artist I can be, I need to still work on that alongside Tenshinhan," Muten Roshi pondered out loud before turning around to head back to the gravity training chamber. He stopped halfway.
"How unfair," he sighed. "You deny your love for Tenshinhan and manifest it in such unhealthy ways, and yet it still overpowered both of our spiritual forces so much. It seems that both I and Tenshinhan still have leagues of work to do on that plane."
"Shut up, old geezer!" Launch roared as she pulled a submachine gun out from under the kitchen table and unloaded at Muten Roshi's back, embarrassed by her own feelings that shined through on Planet Ephemeris coming to light through the words of the old master. Muten Roshi hopped and turned around, swiping each and every bullet out of thin air before letting them clank onto the floor from his hands.
"What did Tenshinhan say about firing your weapons inside the spacecraft, Launch-san?" Muten Roshi teased the woman before leaving to resume his training.