Chapter 36
The Force was often mysterious in its ways, Qui-Gon mused. Never did he consider that he would be sitting in the lounge of Xanatos' ship heading to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant of all places. Perhaps that was why he never tried to predict the future and chose to trust the Force's lead in each moment. Xanatos had been cordial thus far, something Qui-Gon didn't expect, considering the last time they had seen each other was a courtroom after Bandomeer … after he had testified against his former apprentice. It surprised Qui-Gon that they had both been so willing to walk onto a ship and seek out a Sith together. They needed to talk, sooner rather than later, but Qui-Gon knew that timing would ultimately be up to Xanatos.
The ship made the jump to hyperspace and soon, Anakin came bounding into the lounge area rambling about the advanced technology on the ship. He had insisted on staying while Xanatos set the ship on course.
"Were you able to pick up anything on the ship sensors, Padawan?" Qui-Gon asked.
"No … but it was a longshot anyhow," Anakin said solemnly. "Did you find anything on the other ship, Crion?"
"Nothing that would tell us what type of ship we might be looking for or even a possible trajectory," Crion murmured dejectedly. "I guess someone who planned a perfect abduction isn't going to be sloppy enough to leave any clues."
All three Jedi glanced to Xanatos as he slipped into the lounge area. "I will be out in a few minutes. The galley is stocked if anyone is hungry." With that, he disappeared quickly into his room.
"Some things never change," Qui-Gon murmured with a sigh.
"What do you mean?" Crion asked.
"Your father won't be able to relax until he has showered and changed clothes."
"Was he always this …" Crion seemed to search for a word before deciding on, "exhausting?"
"Unfortunately, yes," Qui-Gon answered with a slight laugh. "If he's hungry, he will be unbearably cranky until he eats."
Qui-Gon began to rummage through the galley, noticing it was well stocked with all of Xanatos' favorite foods, not that he expected anything less.
"I am really not that hungry," Crion said softly.
"You should still try to eat something," the Jedi master insisted.
Qui-Gon started to prepare some sandwiches including an extra for Xanatos, hoping his former apprentice would accept it as a gesture of goodwill. Xanatos entered the lounge a short time later, hair clean and combed, and dressed in comfortable pants, just as Qui-Gon expected. He had a tunic slung over a bare shoulder, the one that bore that damned tattoo of a sand panther. It had provoked a lengthy argument between master and apprentice years ago.
"Crion, would you mind taking a look at my shoulder?" he asked after a moment, extending a medkit toward his son.
"Yeah, sure," Crion replied, motioning for him to sit down. Qui-Gon continued to make sandwiches as Crion removed the old bacta patches from his father's shoulder. "You should probably get this looked at by a healer. It is pretty deep," Crion said as he applied a bacta spray and put fresh patches on the wound.
"We'll see," Xanatos murmured as he pulled on the tunic while Crion went to the sink to wash his hands.
"Do you need something for pain?" Crion asked.
"No," Xanatos replied hurriedly.
Qui-Gon extended a plate to Xanatos, the sandwich made exactly the way he liked it. Xanatos rolled his eyes before taking the food offered and forcing out a, "thank you."
They ate in awkward silence. When Xanatos had finished his food he said, "I suggest we all get some sleep on the way to Coruscant." Then, he dropped his plate into the galley sink and disappeared back into the refuge of his room.
"I hope he actually sleeps," Anakin murmured. "He's really exhausted … do you sense it?"
"He's wounded, in more pain than he's letting on, and stressed from everything on Kyatn IV. Then seeing Master Qui-Gon again doesn't help," Crion suggested.
"It's more than that," Anakin replied. "It's something about the way he is using the Force and pulling it around him …"
"You sense more than I do, Padawan," Qui-Gon replied, but it was the truth. Qui-Gon could tell in the way Xanatos carried himself that he was exceedingly weary.
"Come on, Brat. You can bunk in my room," Crion said to Anakin. Qui-Gon found the remaining berthing area and stretched out on the cot. An uneasy sleep quickly claimed him.
"Die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi …"
"Are you there?"
Xanatos slowly stirred to consciousness.
"Are you there?!"
The second query was emphatic, infused with frustration and a small amount of panic.
"Here," Xanatos replied wearily, wishing he had been able to get some more sleep. He felt spent and his arm ached terribly. Yes, he needed to have it properly treated, but that would mean returning to the Halls of Healing and facing yet one more place from his past.
"I am sorry I woke you," Obi-Wan apologized. "The Sith moved me."
"No shit," Xanatos snapped, cringing at the harshness of his response. He was indeed cranky. "We couldn't have missed you by much. Do you have any clues about your current location?"
"No," Obi-Wan answered. "I was injured and he sedated me."
"We are heading to Coruscant to see if we can find any leads. I have my own people following up also."
"Die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi … die Jedi …"
"I see the chorus moved with you," Xanatos mused.
"It paused for a moment. I woke briefly on the ship in transit to wherever I am now. I was frustrated … angry. The panels nearby began to spark and warp in response to my anger. Either the Holocron was waiting to see what I would do or perhaps I ceased to be a Jedi for that moment."
Xanatos was alarmed at the despair that permeated the Jedi master's countenance. The darkness was worming its way in, slowly claiming Kenobi. They were running out of time.
"We have discussed this … you are not permitted to give up."
"I am trying …"
"Master Yoda would have something to say about that."
Yes, it was shameful baiting, but Xanatos knew he needed to do something to snap Kenobi out of the defeat that seemed to hover around him.
"I suppose he would appropriately chastise me. It just feels a bit dismal at the moment." There was a shift. Xanatos could feel the Jedi master center himself. The next response was calmer, more like the man he met on Patul. "You have no clue as to where I am, and the Sith seems to know exactly where you are heading."
"What else has he told you?"
"He told me that I am not ready for you and Crion to find me … yet … not certain what that means."
Xanatos took a moment to ponder the Sith's statement. It was a curious choice of words that Obi-Wan was not ready to be found … unless.
"Did you have Master Sinora for history?" he asked.
"Of course. He is actually still teaching. Crion had him before …"
"How unfortunate for both of you," Xanatos interrupted, trying to focus the conversation again. He could sense Kenobi's laughter. "Do you remember what he taught about the Jedi who fell during the Sith Wars of the Old Republic? As acolytes, they had to prove their loyalty to the Sith by either killing or converting their old master or apprentice."
"That's why he is so interested in Crion," Obi-Wan murmured. "A cheerful thought."
Xanatos suddenly set up in bed, a thought occurring to him. "What if you were to give him what he wants?" he proposed.
"What a marvelous idea … I thought you were on my side!" Obi-Wan snapped angrily, wisps of Dark side energy seeping through the connection with Xanatos. "Your suggestion is to fall to the Dark side and become a Sith?!"
"No, hear me out. The suggestion is to act … convince him you are heading that way … do it on your own terms. If you succeed, he will lure Crion to you. We will be able to find you."
"Are you really willing to put Crion in that sort of danger?' Obi-Wan asked more calmly.
"I am not happy about it, but the reality is that he is at risk regardless," Xanatos replied. "I sense you have already used the Dark side."
"I had no choice," Obi-Wan replied after a moment. "The Sith was choking the life out of me and said he would go after Crion if I allowed him to kill me. I sensed no deception. If I allow him to kill me, Crion is in danger."
"The Sith will see that a success and recreate whatever prodded you to use the Dark side. Remember what we were taught - the Sith were above all patient. He knows the Dark side will answer your call more easily next time and draw you deeper."
There was silence for a moment - a Jedi alone with his thoughts as he finally accepted the reality of his situation. The grief was nearly palpable.
"How do you suggest I 'fall' without falling?"
"Meditate … lock who you really are deep down and wrap it in a veneer of anger and frustration. I can sense there is plenty of that for you to work with."
"He will sense the conflict within me …"
"I imagine he will expect the conflict, but he is a Sith … arrogant and overconfident. If you kneel before him, he will believe it, Obi-Wan."
Xanatos retreated from the Jedi's mind to give him space as he sensed him slip into meditation. Unfortunately, he would not find sleep again right now. It was a pity because he desperately needed it. Reaching out with his senses, he determined that Qui-Gon was no longer asleep. The Jedi master was in the lounge area of the ship, no doubt waiting for him. They had only spoken as was necessary so far, but there was much that needed to be said if they were going to hunt a Sith together without getting everyone involved killed. With resignation, he got out of bed and headed to face his former master.
Qui-Gon sat cross-legged on the floor, back pressed against one of the sofas in the ship's lounge. He had slept briefly but woke troubled. Reaching out, he could sense that Anakin was sleeping soundly. Possibly a carryover of being a slave, the boy seemed to be able to sleep anywhere. Crion was asleep, and Qui-Gon was pleased the youth was getting much-needed rest. Obi-Wan had told him that Crion often had trouble sleeping while in transit, something he shared with his father.
The door to Xanatos' room opened slowly. Xanatos stepped out, dressed in rumpled black sleep pants, a silk robe draped around him. He eyed Qui-Gon for a moment before exhaling in a resigned sigh.
"Apparently, you still don't sleep," Xanatos murmured.
"There is a kettle on the stovetop - still hot if you would like tea."
Xanatos' eyes slid to a liquor cabinet to the side before glancing to the small galley area. He nodded silently before heading to get a cup of tea.
"Don't let me stop you if you would like a drink."
"I can't afford for my mind to be muddied right now," Xanatos replied.
"Is that why you declined pain medication earlier when I can sense you are in pain …"
Qui-Gon received no answer. He stayed silent as Xanatos sat on the sofa across from him, crossing his legs casually.
"We need to talk," he announced.
Now that he was closer, Qui-Gon could see dark circles under the former Jedi's eyes. His hand came up to rub the back of his neck as he stretched, a telltale sign. Anakin was right - Xanatos was utterly exhausted.
"I agree," Qui-Gon replied. "There is a Sith involved and we can't afford to be at odds."
Xanatos closed his eyes, holding his tea just below his face to allow the steam to warm him. Qui-Gon wanted to give him time to collect himself but found he was impatient and had to know.
"Master Yoda seems to think you are connected to Obi-Wan somehow."
"I am not sure how it happened," Xanatos replied after a moment. "The best we can tell, sharing bonds with two of the same people and adding one Sith artifact seems to have established a connection beyond what should be possible."
How much can you sense?" Qui-Gon finally asked.
"The connection has grown. When we both focus, we can converse as clearly as you and I are speaking now, exchange thoughts, and share memories. When we aren't focusing, it is flashes of emotion, stray thoughts, and some dreams leak through."
Qui-Gon looked down at the cup in his hand, focusing on the wisps of steam swirling from the cup.
"I want … wanted to hate him," Xanatos murmured.
"He never did anything to you," Qui-Gon replied, cautiously making eye contact.
"No, not directly … but he replaced me with you … he replaced me with Crion … and had to be so kriffin' perfect in both roles." Xanatos took a deep breath. Apparently, he had needed to get that off his chest before continuing. "He's in hell, Qui-Gon, but he is fighting with everything he has."
"That's his nature."
"It may not be enough. We may not find him in time," Xanatos replied pointedly. "I need to know that you are prepared …"
"To find him dead?" Qui-Gon asked.
"No, the Sith has no desire to kill him. In fact, the Sith is quite intent on replacing the apprentice that he lost on Naboo …"
"Obi-Wan would never …"
"He has the capacity, Qui-Gon. I felt it on Bandomeer," Xanatos said softly. "I have seen the fight on Naboo in Obi-Wan's dreams … you had to have sensed it … you were there."
"I was close to dying. I know he brushed it, but he came back. He would never give in to the Dark side."
"You once thought that about me," Xanatos murmured.
The reply rendered Qui-Gon speechless.
"The Sith is using Crion against him - and Obi-Wan is deeply attached to Crion. He probably didn't tell anyone that he threatened me on Patul, after I had Crion escorted away … and he was quite sincere." Qui-Gon bowed his head. "I know you don't want to entertain the possibility of him falling, but I need to know that you will be there for him if he does. I have had to claw my way back from the darkness alone, but he is not me. I don't think he would survive you losing faith in him."
Qui-Gon nodded his head. He knew they would need to discuss what had happened between them, he just was not expecting it so soon.
"Obi-Wan was on a solo mission when Crion found out you are his father. I was left to answer his questions, especially about Telos, and he did not pull any punches," Qui-Gon murmured.
"I don't suppose he did," Xanatos replied with a snort. "What did he say?"
"His words to me were that you had obviously royally screwed up and that I should have dragged you kicking and screaming back to the Temple. I told Crion that Telos was not my finest moment as a Jedi master. I have allowed myself to really meditate on it since then. I had always avoided it because it hurt too much, and what I have found is that Crion is absolutely right. I failed you as a master. For what it is worth … I am so sorry I left you there."
"If I recall correctly, I had an army. I am not sure you would have been able to get me back to the Temple …"
"Then I should have died trying."
Silence stretched between the former master and apprentice for a few moments before Xanatos spoke again. "I am not going to lie. I hated you for a long time, but I probably hated myself more." Xanatos sighed deeply. "If we are going to work together and succeed, we are going to have to do what you taught me and move on from that moment in time … we may know habits or understand each other on a base level from our past, but I have grown as an individual and quite frankly, you don't know anything about who I became after Bandomeer."
"I wouldn't say I don't know anything," Qui-Gon said gently. "I did speak with …"
"Mia …" Xanatos let the name trail off, unable to say more.
"I hid her at the Temple where I often went on sabbatical. She won their hearts … they doted on her … she told me stories of you and Crion when I visited. Although painful, I listened as talking about you seemed to bring her comfort. She loved you deeply."
"Did … was she …"
"I was there when she passed … held her hand … she fell asleep peacefully."
"Thank you," Xanatos offered softly, furiously wiping at his eyes. He leaned forward resting elbows on his thighs before looking up again, a clear sense of purpose set in his face. "I won't fail Crion as I failed her. I will find his master."
"I sense a plan that I am not going to like," Qui-Gon suggested wearily. Why had the Force always given him such reckless apprentices?
"I believe in time, the Sith will try to bring Crion to him … perhaps even you."
"To complete his training," Qui-Gon concluded. "We need to find him before then."
"I thought we would find what we needed on Kyatn IV, but the Sith has planned this out more than I anticipated. The Council needs to grant me access to all of Obi-Wan's mission briefing resources. Soren is going to dig into the mission more … which leads me to the matter of your apprentice …"
"Anakin?"
"No information leaves the four of us on this ship unless we decide to let it out. If he is not able to keep his mouth shut we need to limit what he knows," Xanatos replied pointedly.
"Why would you assume he can't keep information to himself?"
"Because he spent the entire jump to hyperdrive babbling to me about 'everything', when by all accounts he should be reticent to trust me." Qui-Gon bristled at the remark, but took a deep cleansing breath and prepared himself to listen. "Who involved in all of this knew how vulnerable Obi-Wan was and what his state of mind was? The Council was obviously oblivious or they never would have sent a diplomat on an undercover mission when he was emotionally compromised. I don't think you sold him out, and Crion was with me. Your apprentice is phenomenally perceptive. Crion told me all about his friendship with Chancellor Palpatine. How much did he tell his friend, the Chancellor, the one who requested Obi-Wan for this mission, about his emotional state?"
"Are you accusing the Chancellor of being allied with the Sith?"
"All I am saying is it is suspicious and we need to limit information to who we can trust … that includes the Jedi Council."
"What about your employee, Soren?"
"Soren may call me boss, but he is a true and loyal friend who has stood by me when everyone else left.
"And you trust him …"
"With my life," Xanatos shot back without hesitation. "He earned that trust when he stopped me from activating my own saber through my heart after Bandomeer."
Qui-Gon looked up sharply, unsure how to respond.
"Yes … the trial was rock bottom for me. The fool didn't understand the emotional state I was in and the darkness in which I was drowning. He's fortunate I didn't kill him."
Xanatos suddenly slid his eyes shut and attempted to slow his breathing. He appeared to be in great pain, but Qui-Gon could sense no new injury. It took him a moment to realize something was happening with Obi-Wan.
"What's happening to him?" Qui-Gon whispered.
"The Sith is with him."
"Can I reach out to him through you … at least try to let him know I am here."
"I don't want to risk the connection … " Xanatos replied through clenched teeth. "And I am not sure my mind can handle any more at the moment."
"May I help you then?"
Xanatos looked at him, conflict etched across his face before finally giving one curt nod. Qui-Gon drew closer to sit by him, placing his hands on Xanatos' temples. Loosening his own shielding, Qui-Gon quickly found the frayed vestiges of the bond he at one time shared with Xanatos. He flooded it with the Force, giving it new life and strength. Xanatos cried out before calming ragged breathing.
"What happened?" Qui-Gon whispered.
"Repairing our bond strengthened my connection with him. I wasn't expecting it is all," Xanatos replied in a strained voice.
Qui-Gon stayed on the fringes of Xanatos' mind, drawing pain and lending strength, careful to not invade any more than needed. Whatever Obi-Wan faced passed and Xanatos let out a deep, cleansing breath. The Force hummed between the pair, far from harmonious but a good start.
"Thank you," Xanatos said softly.
"Even from the little I saw, you carry a heavy burden," Qui-Gon said. "You cannot sustain that without more rest."
"I am worried that the Sith will breach the shields I have constructed around Crion's mind and I must protect him. Obi-Wan and I are of the same mind on this."
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes," Xanatos said after a moment's consideration.
"Then trust that I will watch over your mind, and therefore Crion's while you sleep."
Qui-Gon settled back to the ground, motioning for Xanatos to stretch out on the sofa. After a moment's hesitation, Xanatos complied, almost immediately slipping into a deep sleep.
Obi-Wan hit the wall with a thud, sliding down to the ground. He was tired of it all - the taunting, constant worry for Crion, the pain, and the damn persistent chanting. He knew he needed to persevere. No matter how much he wished the Sith would end his life, the Sith spoke the truth when he said he would pursue Crion.
Lightning erupted from the Sith's fingertips again, white-hot pain surging through his body. He slid to his side and curled up in the fetal position in a futile attempt to protect himself. It continued unrelentingly. Xanatos was right. After meditating, Obi-Wan had sensed this path. Convincing the Sith he was falling was his only out. They didn't know where he was and Obi-Wan was not sure how long he could resist.
A brief respite came, the Sith seeming to since his wavering. Suddenly, his connection to Xanatos grew stronger and for a brief moment, he thought he sensed Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan rolled to his belly, allowing his cheek to rest on the cool floor.
"Will you continue in your insolence, Apprentice?"
Slowly, Obi-Wan pulled himself from the ground. Sliding to one knee, he bowed his head contritely before speaking.
"No … no, Master."