A/N: The only excuse I have is that Poland won with Japan (how did THAT happen?!) today. Not like it matters to me, but it's as good of an excuse for writing crazy crackish fics than any other.
Rating is T for suggestiveness. And for weirdness, I guess.

How To Ruin The Tree
a.k.a.
A short guide story for friends who want to make their friends' special spot never be the same
a.k.a.
I Should've Burned That Wig
a.k.a.
Role-play 2 (see Barks, chapter 61)

It was a lovely, summer day. It was not too hot and the clouds from this morning were now gone, leaving the sky bright blue. Deep in Inuyasha's Forest a girl was looking at the lush plant life around her. She was resting a hand against an old, dry well positioned in the center of a meadow. She wasted a minute to just take in the beauty of the forest before finally pushing herself off the well and starting to make her way through the forest.

She felt a little confused and lost, trying to find a path which would lead her somewhere. Finally she spotted a tall tree, much taller than any other, hovering over the treetops. She smiled, recognizing the tree and immediately made her way in its direction. From that tree she could get home.

When she reached the tree she found that there was a young man pinned to the bark, seemingly sleeping, his head bowed. She stood there, observing the sunlight dancing on the mane of almost white hair. She shyly approached the young man, her sight drawn to the bright red ancient-looking robe he wore. She reached a hand and touched the rough material of his hakama.

"H-hey...?" she carefully climbed a root to stand on the same height he was. She noticed an arrow coming from the top of his shoulder, pinning him to the tree. He had a soft smile on his lips, as if he was dreaming pleasant dreams.

She noticed his ears and rubbed them softly, partially expecting the man to wake up. He was very handsome and she found herself really wanting to kiss him. She glanced down at him and gasped when she saw that her ear rubbing had an unexpected effect on his body.

The tent in his hakama was pretty impressive. The girl was almost too embarrassed to see that this simple gesture could make him react this way, but she was also excited at knowing that she had such power to make him react that way.

A hesitant hand reached for the ties of his hakama and she glanced up to his face to see his expression unchanged, only his brows were knitted as if in concentration.

"Aww, you want attention..." she cooed playfully and tugged the ties of his pants loose, letting the baggy fabric fall to his feet and pool around his ankles. She knelt down and found his flesh under the hem of his kosode. With a grin and mischievous glint in her eyes she leaned in and gave him all her attention.

A few moments later she heard him groan and one of his hands came to caress her cheek. She hummed happily around what she had in her mouth and felt his hand grip her hair tightly.

"S-Sango!" a startled cry made the young woman jump and turn her head around to see the calling one.

Kagome stood on the end of the path to the Sacred Tree, staring with wide eyes at the couple. She had a hand pressed against her chest and the other covering her gasping mouth. Kagome's face went pale, then red.

"Um..."

"Holy shit, I knew I should've burned that fucking wig!" Inuyasha growled from beside Kagome. He glared at the man who was now wide awake and looking sheepishly at the newcomers. "Can't you two keep it to your bedroom?! The tree was our special spot!" The hanyou was positively pissed, his ears laid back as he wrapped an arm around his wife.

"You know, we don't mind sharing special spots," the man grinned and got an elbow to his thigh from the female still kneeling in front of him on the root. "Right, my dearest?"

But Inuyasha and Kagome were already out of sight, they could hear Inuyasha's profanities getting more and more silent as the hanyou was putting distance between the Sacred Tree and himself pretty rapidly.

"Hm," Sango hummed, hoping that their friends would one day forgive them.

"Shall we continue?" Miroku touched her chin and turned her head back to him. "Let's think, at that point Inuyasha told Kagome: 'Pull the arrow that impales me and I shall impale you on my huge aaah...!"

A/N: Poor Kagome and Inuyasha :D