Author's Note: I am back in black, my babies. Hello! How is everyone doing? Still staying safe, I hope! I'm sorry for the delay, but those of you who have been following this sorry since the beginning/for a while may have noticed I lack in the updating department. I have been going through an especially stressful time in my life at the moment and I stopped taking time to do the things I love - such as writing this.

I really liked writing this chapter. Being someone who was cheated on by a longtime partner, I took some of my own experiences to write this scene below. We all go through heartache, but we can only hope to learn from it and use it to make ourselves stronger. It's too easy to become bitter!

Thank you to brankel1 who has stuck with me all this time. I love you so much, darling. Thank you as well to all my other reviewers, I love the feedback and support.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I don't own a lot of things, actually, but I digress. I only lay claim to my own thoughts, plots, and O/C's!

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Chapter Nine

"I know. I will."

Renesmee looked guilty, but she seemed truthful. There was resignation, borne of long spent contemplation, heavy in her words. This admittance was something she'd anticipated coming for a long time now.

"As soon as he gets back. You tell him. If I find out that you didn't, I'll do it. And. You. Don't. Want. That," Leah enunciated, each word piercing and dangerous, the threat clear.

But the she-wolf didn't want to be the one to bear that burden. It wasn't her place to reveal this secret - it wasn't her place to break Jacob's heart. If she had to, if Renesmee took after her mother - weak and selfish and unable to face verbal confrontation - then the responsibility would fall to Leah's shoulders. She would never keep this secret, but it still wasn't hers to tell.

Nessie bowed her head, folding her arms over her small body. "I promise I'll tell him," she assured weakly.

Leah turned her accusing eyes from Renesmee to Nahuel, then to Bella and her husband. "How long has this been going on?" she asked, wary of what the answer would be.

"A year." It was Bella who answered. The vampire fidgeted nervously under the Quilette girl's flashing eyes.

A year - the betrayal seemed too harsh. It felt like something unforgivable.

This wasn't something she had to forgive though. This time, it would be Jacob who would need to forgive a loved one that betrayed him.

Leah sighed and closed her eyes. This was all so complicated - too complicated. Along with feelings of pity and distress for the previous alpha, it evoked other emotions that she had long since laid to rest.

"It just sort of happened. I didn't mean to- "

Leah stopped Renesmee's words with a hand. "I don't want to know. This isn't my business. And it will only be my business if you don't tell Jake." She truly didn't want to know any more. This was all very overwhelming as it was.

"I will," the young girl replied in a small voice.

"I'm leaving now. Keep that one," Leah started, jutting her chin out at Nahuel, "far away from the reservation. In fact, you might want to get him out of Washington altogether." She turned her back to them, muttering out, "Idiots," as she did.

And they were idiots. This was a horrible enough situation as it stood, without dragging all the baggage involved with it so close to La Push. While Renesmee and the vampires were accepted, they weren't liked. It would only take one wrong move to disrupt the already unsteady balance they all shared. Why would the girl take the risk of bringing someone she loved - Nahuel - into all of this? Why would she take the risk of hurting someone else who loved her - Jacob?

She was definitely Bella Swan's daughter.

Leah didn't want to think about the headache this would all cause. She wasn't a wolf anymore. These weren't her problems to deal with.

Of course, returning to her homeland had only drug her unwillingly back into all of the drama after trying so hard to escape it all. Maybe she shouldn't have come back?

No.

No, she was stronger now. She could deal with all of this and face it with her newfound inner peace intact. She would remain strong.

Still, she suddenly felt tired and drained - certainly not at peace.

"I'm sorry about all of this, Leah. I assure you that this won't involve you anymore than it already has," Edward called at her retreating form, clearly sensing her thoughts.

"It better not," she thought forcefully back at him.

When she was far enough away, she let herself think freely without the mind reader around.

Renesmee was Jacob's imprint. There was no doubt in her mind about that. She had seen the unbreakable, overtly powerful pull in her own alpha's head after the halfbreed was born. Yet, unlike all the other imprints before her, Renesmee could resist the romantic temptation of that bond. Perhaps it was because she was not completely human? Perhaps it was because she grew up alongside Jake, a baby, then child, for some of their time spent together? Maybe that hindered the possibility of an intimate connection to be established?

And what about all that absolute bull crap speculated about in the legends? Supposedly, a wolf and their imprint were together in order to produce the ultimate offspring that would continue the shapeshifter bloodline. Yet, Renesmee already put a fault in that theory simply by being half-vampire. No one even knew if she could carry a baby, much less of shifter genes.

That hardly mattered now, as the two apparently weren't meant to be anymore. If Nessie did end up giving birth to a child, that child certainly wouldn't belong to Jake.

Oh, Jacob. She audibly whimpered. Leah did her best to stave any thoughts about him away because the pain in her chest when she considered the heartbreak this would cause him was just too much. This would surely hurt him, break his heart, but time would only tell if it would also destroy him. A wolf needed their imprint to survive, after all.

Her mind briefly wandered to Sam. An image of Emily's smiling face and slightly rounded belly appeared before her eyes. Had Sam's betrayal, had Emily's, meant absolutely nothing? Did the spirits do nothing but sit up high in the sky waiting for any opportune moment to unleash heartache? It certainly seemed that way. It seemed there was a choice in the matter. Maybe not on Sam's side, but definitely on Emily's. Her cousin could have refused the romantic aspect of the imprint as Renesmee had done… she could have only asked for friendship from Sam and it would have been given easily and willingly.

But she didn't.

It felt far too late for her to be having these realizations now. At the same time, as much as Leah was emotionally unraveling about the recent revelations, something about it felt like everything would be okay.

Leah watched the rainfall outside the window, streaks marking their way down the glass fervently. Oregon weather was almost always downcast, though the state saw far fewer thunderstorms than Washington did.

"Leah?" Dr. Castleman prodded gently.

She hugged herself and looked away, studying the calm, old man sitting in front of her. "It just sucks. About Emily and Sam. I know it was fate or whatever that brought them together, but... it just sucks." Tears crept into the corner of her eyes. This was old news. It was old news back on the reservation and it was old news to her therapist, but the pain still felt surprisingly fresh most of the time, jabbing at her heart with prinpicks that felt like needles. Would this feeling ever go away?

"I know you're a firm believer in fate, Leah. I know you think that fate is holding all the cards and just giving us bad hands, but I want you to set that belief aside for now." She peered at him curiously, trying to stave off the waterworks. He had seen her cry, many times, but she still didn't feel entirely comfortable doing so in front of another person. "Sam and Emily both made their choices in life."

Leah tried to argue. "I know that, but they weren't in complete control over those choices." Why was she defending them? Did it make her feel better? Maybe it was easier than simply laying the blame at both of their feet, two people who she once loved dearly.

"Okay, say they weren't. Say fate did have a hand, but there are always going to be external influences, Leah, regardless of whether that be fate or anything else. We all make decisions based on our selfish desires. And yes, I suppose it does suck that two people who were so important to you made decisions that negatively impacted your life." She nodded and sniffed, not even able to play the angry, tough girl right now. Dr. Castleman saw through that act every time anyway. "At the end of the day, you are going to have to accept that they made those decisions. And those decisions and the resulting backlash might suck, but it did happen. You cannot control their choices in life, you can only control your own."

Leah wiped a sleeve across her face, anger bubbling hot to the surface. "But what am I supposed to do? It fucking hurt. Everyone acted like I just needed to accept it, and I tried. I really did, but it fucking hurt," she yelled. The rage that had surfaced quickly died down as she realized she was in an office, where others in the waiting room might be able to hear her. "It still hurts," she finished with a whisper.

Dr. Castleman let her cry for a moment, allowing her to drown in sadness before casting her a lifeline.

"Yes. And that's okay. You can mourn as much as you need to, because you lost something, some people, precious to you. But you can't let it destroy you. You have to accept them for the choices that they made." Did Leah not just make it clear that everyone trying to force her to accept it hadn't worked before? She glared fiercely at the white haired man, but he bravely continued. "I'm not saying that you should allow them back into your life. Or that you should even be friends, but you have to accept what happened and let them go, for yourself. Acceptance is neither negative, or positive, it simply is something we must do to move on. They made their choices, and they made their bed, but you don't have to lie in it for them. So do whatever it takes to accept that these people have hurt you, but you need to do this so that you can move on. I think for that to start, you must come to the realization that fate is not out to get you. People make mistakes and that is what happened. They made a mistake that others had to pay for, but you don't have to keep paying for it."

With a glance at the window, Leah saw the rain was letting up, even if only slightly. She stared at the gray mist outside.

"So… how do I… how am I supposed to accept it and move on?" Even saying it out loud made her want to scoff, but she forced herself to remain open to his help.

Her therapist gave her a small, encouraging smile. She didn't bother to turn away from the window, but still caught it out of the corner of her eye. "You're considering these people as if they're monsters that were created by fate to ruin your life, but they're not. They're human. And humans make mistakes. You have to know that. Blaming them, yourself, or fate, will not make you feel any better. It won't change anything. Holding onto these beliefs, as well as your anger, will only keep you in a state of negative thought and emotion. You have to accept these events as how they happened. Don't try to bury your pain with anger, but realize what has happened and accept it. Truly allow yourself to feel it, without your pride and fury getting in the way. They did something that hurt you and that made you feel sad. No amount of rage will change that fact. So grieve what has happened, and then move on."

Leah took a shaky breath, tears marking salty paths down her cheeks. She took note of how the rain had ceased to fall.

The sun was even peeking out from the clouds.

"What they did was not okay. You do not have to let them back into your life. But you do have to accept what they did."

Her therapist's voice was a smooth baritone, the words breaking down a barrier she had long since held up. It felt both painful and relieving.

It felt like healing.

Leah stopped walking, her steps had been furious and fast paced, heading in the direction of her house.

She wasn't sure why she stopped walking, but she simply couldn't move anymore. With a sigh, the she-wolf sat on the forest floor, the grass soft and damp underneath her. Her head dropped heavy into her hands.

Discovering Renesmee and Nahuel had caused her to experience more anger than she'd felt in a long time. She needed to force herself to face why that was and she needed to do it now.

Was it only because of Jake? Because of the betrayal? No... even though that was some of it. The rage she'd felt had been borne out of self-preservation, to keep herself from falling apart as her previous view of the world was shattered.

If fate truly wasn't pulling the strings, then that only meant one thing: Sam and Emily had betrayed her. And it had been solely their choice.

Truthfully, Leah had come to this realization long ago, but having knowledge of the imprint bond, knowledge of the spirits, she had never truly accepted it.

Now she could.

It had been a constant battle in her mind, whether her own actions and choices mattered - whether anyone's did, really - or if everything was simply predestined to be. After finding out about shapeshifters and imprints and vampires, Leah had given into the idea that everything was determined by fate and that her own fate was hellbent on being shitty.

This thinking gave Sam and Emily an out, but it did a lot more than that. It also allowed her to refrain from taking responsibility for her own emotions. All of this time, instead of dealing with her emotions, she had been placing all of the blame and hate on the simple idea of fate. A part of her obviously despised Renesmee for what she was putting Jake through, but another part of her was thankful. If Nessie had possessed a choice in the matter, then so did Emily, and Sam, and therefore, so did everyone else who was affected by all of this crazy spirit bullshit.

Leah was free - her life was her own. She could now make her own choices and truly know her choices weren't in vain. The almighty power in the sky wasn't controlling her and it certainly wasn't trying to keep her from being happy.

Leah hadn't even realized she was crying until a wet spot appeared on her jeans. She looked up into the clear sky and saw no rain. She brought a hand to her cheek, hesitantly feeling the skin there - it was wet.

The pain of her past heartache wasn't as harsh, nor as potent as it used to be, but it was still there. It encompassed her whole body, swallowing her up. Leah felt it, reveled in it, allowing herself the opportunity to realize it for what it was worth. It was a scar, still bleeding and oozing even after years worth of healing, finally closing up.

She felt cleansed, renewed, as she was finally able to fully follow her therapist's advice and accept Sam and Emily's betrayal. A small laugh bubbled up, then another.

So they'd had a choice after all, and the choice they'd made was a bad one. It had hurt her - nearly ruined her. The she-wolf couldn't feel bitter about this though. She could only feel relief that she could finally accept it and move on.

As she was starting to get to her feet, suddenly lighter than she ever had been before, a howl resonated powerfully throughout the forest.

She froze and swallowed, heart thudding in response.

Then, slowly, forcing her feet to take each step, Leah made herself walk home.

That wasn't any of her business.

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Look at this update! Wow, am I proud? No, I'm not, because all my updates aren't consistent in the slightest. Thank you to everyone for continuing to follow me on this journey of touch and go writing and slow updates. I hope that this story is worth all the hassle. I've written over half of the next chapter, so hopefully I should be able to get that out as soon as possible!

I love you all! Until next time! Don't forget to follow/favorite/review if you liked this chapter or any of the others! It means a lot to me!