Flip Turn

Chapter Sixteen: Deliciously Unfamiliar

Breathing was harder when you were swimming a race. It was so much harder, even when you knew that it shouldn't be because you practiced it all the time. And anyway, she could breath right now, couldn't she, sliding out of the car until her blue sandals landed on the asphalt, then watching as her mom drove away to find a place to park. Normally, that would be easy, but it seemed like the only parking places were out in space somewhere. Raven knew about space. She could name all the planets in the right order. She tried to think about that as she made herself practice breathing, trying to picture the water around her as she forced the air in through her mouth and out through her nose.

And head to the side. That was important, too. Thinking about where your head was supposed to turn made breathing even worse. Sometimes it made her mix up in with out, and then she'd choke. Whenever she did that a few weeks ago, the tears would well up in her eyes before she even thought about stopping them; now, she'd just shudder and grab the lane rope, coughing until she got the water out of her throat. Coach Bruce would get really mad if the other kids held the rope, but Raven was allowed because she was special.

She'd been to this pool before, except she hadn't. It was Coach Harley's pool, but Raven was positive that last time it had been smaller. A lot smaller. There were cars everywhere, curving around the street and down a hill until she couldn't see behind the big grove of trees. And it kind of looked like the other kids had been planted in the ground like seeds, and now they'd sprouted. Because they were everywhere. Raven didn't even think there were this many kids in her whole school. And some of them were a lot bigger than anyone who might be in her class.

Raven was really starting to wish that she'd stayed in the car and walked back up the hill with her mom, but a hand grabbed hers and then she had to turn around to see who it was.

"Do you think it is early, too?" Starfire's eyes were open and alert as they moved from Raven to the millions of cars in the parking lot. "All of the others say that it is much too early for swimming."

Raven shrugged. "It's kinda early."

"Not to me," said Starfire. "I always got up early because I had chores. Well, me and Koma both had chores, except she made me do hers a lot. But sometimes, I would swim in the river even before the sun!"

Raven knew what she was talking about. She'd been up when it was still dark outside, too, and it was always to do chores. If she didn't make the kitchen clean enough, her daddy would make her get up when he got home from work so she'd do a better job, and it was always hard to go to school after one of those days because she kept falling asleep at her desk… She didn't say anything, just shook her head and stared wonderingly at Starfire's hand, which was still grasping hers.

After awhile, Starfire's gaze followed hers. "Oh!" She dropped her hand and laughed—Raven kind of missed it. "People across the ocean do not like for me to touch them. I'm sorry; I forgot."

"It's fine," said Raven. Not a lot of people touched her, and when they did, she usually wanted them to stop, but this wasn't bad. "Do you know where we're supposed to be?"

Starfire wrinkled her forehead. "Umm, it was somewhere near the very small pool, I think." A grin lit up her face as she focused on something and pointed, bouncing up and down a little. "There!"

When Raven followed her finger, she felt a little better because everybody under the tent was wearing green—and most of them had green on their heads, too (Raven hadn't gotten her hair sprayed the night before; it might have messed up her mom's car). They walked over to the tent, Raven practicing her breathing inside her head, counting out three seconds as she let the air out and breathing in only through her mouth.

There was a lot to remember. And none of the important stuff was in the rule book.

Raven wasn't supposed to be over here, not really, but she wasn't swimming the relay and she kind of wanted to see Coach Bruce. He didn't even have to talk to her—he was way too busy for that, she knew. But just seeing him would still be good. Raven liked all the other coaches, except for Coach Slade, but he was staying far away from Coach Bruce, like he was afraid he'd get sick if he got too close, so it was okay.

In front of her, a plastic spoon clattered to the pool deck, and Coach Harley said a bad word as she stooped to pick it up. She stared at it for a few seconds, shrugged, and stuck the spoon back into her yogurt.

Coach Ivy rolled her eyes. "That's gross."

"Five second rule," said Coach Harley, sticking out her tongue. She shoved the spoon in her mouth, along with way too much yogurt. "And I promise not to kiss you or anything unless you want me to."

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

Coach Harley didn't seem like she really felt like listening, because then she noticed Raven and kind of halfway choked on the yogurt before breaking into a grin. "Hi, sweetie. You're one of his, right?" she asked, shooting a sly glance at Coach Bruce and poking him with her heat sheet. She made sure that he'd heard before she continued. "Mornin', Brucie. Did ya find anything interesting on your way to the pool?"

From the way Coach Bruce took a slow, controlled breath, it looked like he'd found something, alright, but it wasn't something he'd wanted to find. He didn't look at the other coaches, just asked Raven if she was okay.

Raven nodded. "Yeah, I just wanted to…watch." It wasn't really the truth, but she didn't want him to think she was a baby.

"Just make sure you don't miss your event," he said, still ignoring Coach Harley as she poked him with the heat sheet again, this time on the back of his neck.

"I won't," Raven promised, stretching her swim cap over her fingers and watching the writing get distorted. She took a deep breath before saying the rest, trying to practice like she'd been practicing with all the other breaths she took. "But if I can't remember everything I'm supposed to about breathing, will—will you be mad?"

She didn't really think he would be. But something inside of her wanted to know, and couldn't swim her race until she did know, and now that Raven thought about it, that was why she'd come to see him.

"…Brucie, are you listening to me?"

He wasn't listening. He was talking to Raven. Coach Bruce looked at her seriously, his eyes level with hers because he was sitting in his chair and leaning forward just a little. "Raven, I want you to try your best. That's all I want."

It felt like somebody had taken a school bus off Raven's chest. And it was a lot easier to breathe that way.

But Coach Harley had had enough, and she looked really disappointed. Her pigtails were drooping a little bit, almost like they were frowning. "Next time, we're gonna need to use more toilet paper, Red," she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

The metal fence cut everything into little pieces when she tried to look through it. Raven was used to that. At her old house, there had been a metal fence, high and threatening because it was supposed to keep out the neighbor's dog (his name was Worthless, and he would bark all night like he wanted to eat someone). Raven used to stand out there sometimes while the dog slept, the leaves from the neighbor's tree falling around her feet, because it was quiet. There weren't a lot of places in her old house that she could go to find quiet.

This fence was different, thinner, and probably wouldn't keep Worthless out. But keeping her eyes on it let her forget about the eight other heats of girls in front of her. She was in the last one—which meant the slowest, at Divisionals. Raven didn't really care; it mostly bothered her that there were so many other girls, and not very many that she knew. She wasn't good at talking to people, especially not new people.

At least Terra was a few benches in front of her. And she definitely didn't have a problem with sitting on the bench backwards, balancing on her knees so she could talk over the rows of heads.

"Oh my god, Raven, I forgot what lane I'm s'posed to be in!"

"It's on your card," said Raven, having to raise her voice a lot higher than she usually spoke.

Squinting at the pink rectangle in her hand, Terra laughed suddenly, raking a strand of green hair behind her ear. "Whoopsie. Lane two!" She smiled again, her eyes shifting slightly like they were trying to stare at the girl next to her on the bench. "I could have been with the good people, but I just didn't feel like going fast enough, you know."

"Sure," said Raven flatly. It was one of those lies again. Even though these kinds of lies didn't hurt anyone, Raven still didn't think people should do it.

Then, Terra had to go swim, and Raven stared at the ground and didn't talk to anybody else.

When it was finally her turn to step behind the blocks, Raven lowered herself cautiously into the plastic chair behind her lane, cringing when she realized it was saturated in pool water (which was kind of gross). The girl swimming in the heat ahead of her wasn't very fast. Raven was probably even slower, but this girl didn't breathe right at all, and maybe she could at least win at that. As slow as the other girl was, she still made it to the other end of the pool much too soon, because Raven had to get out of the chair after that, and even the wet seat was better than racing.

Raven wouldn't dive from the blocks, or even jump. She'd jumped off the side, and she'd only just learned to do that. Her mom had shown her how last week. Rough concrete scraped against her feet as her eyes drifted involuntarily over to the coaches. She didn't look at Coach Slade.

Making herself practice breathing, she counted to three again and again inside her head—then stopped when Coach Clark waved at her. Everything was better as she waved back at him. It was kind of like somebody had wrapped a warm towel around her.

But then the starter was saying stuff, and Raven knew exactly what she was supposed to do, and when the signal came she made herself push off from the concrete just slightly, pushing until she was over the edge and the water was coming up to her face faster than a truck on the highway…and when she slipped below the surface, it was hot and murky, but somehow familiar. The water was cloudy, so she could hardly see the black line that ran down the center of the lane like a scar, but she kept her eyes on it and not on the girls on either side of her, just like Vic had said last night in the parking lot.

Raven didn't remember about breathing until she noticed that she was looking at the side of the pool when she lifted up her head, not the other end where the timers were standing. It felt fluid, powerful and dangerous, the water millimeters from her mouth when she took in air, heart hammering somewhere between her ears, much louder than any of the screams from the pool deck.

But when her hand finally latched onto the wall, fingers slipping a little as she leaned into it, gasping, Raven decided that if this was what dangerous was, she could live with it. It was funny, being sure of something like that. But good. Really, really good.

She was even more sure when she climbed out of the water and a towel launched itself at her face, Terra jumping up and down behind the timer, pink goggles balanced on top of her forehead in a way that looked like they'd have fallen off if they hadn't been firmly tangled in her hair.

"See, Kitten, I told you she would; I said!" Terra ran to Raven and linked an arm through hers. She leaned close to Raven, probably meaning to whisper, except Terra never whispered. "I even made her come down here to watch you, Rae-Rae, and she did that mean face, but I made her anyway."

Raven didn't even care about telling her not to use that name. "Thanks," she said slowly.

Terra turned back to Kitten, her words slurring together like they'd been run through a blender. "Wasn't it good, though, didn't she do it right?"

"It was pretty good," Kitten conceded, rolling her eyes a little.

Raven blinked at her, then remembered that she was supposed to be polite. "Thanks," she said mechanically, the word sounding strange when she said it to Kitten. Strange, but it worked, somehow. "I think I need to go talk to Coach now."

Terra nodded as she twirled a green strand of hair around her index finger. "'Kay, and when you get back, make sure you come sit by me, 'cos we're playing Go Fish and you're on my team."

Raven turned to leave, but she hadn't gotten very far when Terra grabbed her arm again, suddenly, and it made her jump a little bit, but the hand was too soft and small to be bad.

"Hey, Rae-Rae?"

She was going to have to do something about that name. "Yeah?"

"Was it hard?"

Biting her lip, Raven stared at the impatient, blue eyes, trying to put the right words together. "It was a lot easier than I thought it would be," she answered at last, and the voice that said it was deliciously unfamiliar. What made it even better was that she was sure of it, of the words and the voice and the freckles on Terra's nose. Of more than that. Of more than she could name.

Raven didn't stop being sure for the rest of the day, not even when Terra rearranged the cards when she thought nobody was looking so she would have all the matches.

Thank y'all so much for your patience! Next chapter shouldn't be nearly as long in coming. --Azelma :)